Author's note: Just to make sure we're clear: Ilia chapters, then Sacae chapters. And someone was wondering about promotions...always weird how it should work from a story perspective.

Oh well, here it is.

Chapter 17I

Alan – Congrats on your promotion to Paladin. You will never be as good as Percival, but you managed to not be as horribly incompetent as the other Knight's Crest candidates. ….get back here, you are not leading squads now!

Astol – No you may not kidnap Igrene to take a trip all by yourselves, we are still in a war. And knowing you, you would probably just spend all of your time having sex with her.

Barth – It is not my concern to check which coat belongs to who, it is yours. You should obviously know Lady Lilina does not wear green….or armor.

Bartre – Why are you so upset? Sophia still won, just sharing her victory with the others. …..now stop spiking her water with aphrodisiacs just because you want Lady Ninian's dragon blood to continue.

Bors – Go get me rash cream for the horrible sweater you made. You're now in charge of waking us up in the morning.

Cath – No you are not the boss of the thieves in our army. You are immature, selfish, and arguably the least moral of the three of you. For all his addiction to laying with Igrene, Astol is still much more competent and skilled.

Cecilia – I am perhaps the most disappointed in you for this…..marriage. You're the oldest of his wives and you are the Sorcery General of Etruria. Yes I know Lord Pent did whatever the heck he felt like doing too, but you are not him. You are definitely not him.

Chad – Fell Contracts went out of production years ago, so I cannot promote you. Knowing you, you'd probably be the loudest assassin there is. …..that is not a good thing!

Clarine – Congrats on your promotion to Valkyrie. Please do well with the Fire tome I've given you, don't…or you can just start laughing evilly and attacking our foes without a second thought. I should've guessed.

Dieck – Congrats on your promotion to Hero. No this doesn't call for "celebratory sex" with Echidna, just keep killing people like you normally do.

Dorothy – The tea is excellent. Have you considering adding some fruit into the mix?

Douglas – I know you are Lalum's father, but smiling at her then growling at Master Roy, raising your axe, and saying "you're dead, Lycian" is not appreciated. She seduced him. She tricked him. Your daughter may be cute, a good dancer, and sweet, but she is a sociopath.

Echidna – No you will not be the godmother for Lalum's future children….especially not when she says she wants "over 10".

Elen – Congrats on your promotion to Bishop. This does not mean you should make all of us and the enemy camp sit before you while you launch into perhaps the most passionately worded, but also the longest sermon. 5 hours? Are you kidding me?

Elphin – Ah, so…..okay, good to know. The Lycia Alliance Army is never to set foot in Etruria when the war is over. Thanks for reading your father's letter.

Fa – You may not marry Elphin, no matter how cute you think he is. This army shall have no more marriages, and you are much too young…..and too old for him.

Fir – Congrats on your promotion to Swordsmaster. Please don't attack your father when he squeezes you in a large hug and cries about his wife. Karla would be proud, though.

Garrett – The Lycia Alliance Army does not support the purchase of prostitutes.

Geese – I have no idea where you got that parrot, but you will stop making it imitate me. You're really dead set on this "be a super obvious pirate just to be annoying" thing aren't you?

Gonzales – Congrats on your promotion to Berserker. Go get 'em, tiger. …..no you're not a tiger, it's an expression. Expression. E-x-p-r-e-s-I'm not doing this again.

Hugh – Where's your Guiding Ring, you ask? Hahahahaha get real.

Igrene – I get you want your homeland safe to protect Arcadia, Fa, Sophia, and your husband, but forcing Douglas to sign a binding contract? No Nabata does not have the best lawyers in Elibe, most of the country is desert!

Klein – I seriously can't believe you penned Lord Pent and Lady Louise to tell them about Clarine's promotion and our army's status. Give me that paper. "…..tell Merlinus we wish him best of luck"? "We'll send Roy a wedding present"? The Reglays really are the most calm in the world.

Lalum – No, you are not going to consummate your marriage, and you will definitely not do it at the same time as the other girls. Yes I know you want everything to be fair for everyone, but making a schedule for each wife to spent time with Master Roy? I will have this annulled, just you wait.

Lance – Congrats on your promotion to Paladin. I consider you to be the best non-Percival knight there is, since Alan is still too reckless. No I'm not giving you a gold star, I told Elphin we're not having that!

Lilina – Congrats on your promotion to Sage. Your father would be proud of your raw power on the battlefield. Now stop holding Master Roy's hand while you kill things. Even if it is your "wife time", you're just going to put his life at risk.

Lot – For the last time, I am not giving you your weapon back. You want to be useful? Fine. Here's a shovel. Go clean up after everyone's horses.

Lugh – Congrats on your promotion to Sage. Your mother would be proud…..you can stop running over and asking if I saw that blast you did. This is the 10th time now.

Marcus – I agree, perhaps it is time for you to take it easy while the rest of the army gets stronger. I think you've earned some rest.

Miledy – Congrats on the promotion to Wyvern Lord. This does not mean you should take Princess Guinevere for rides across the sea.

Noah – Giving you a Knight's Crest? Absolutely not. Go find something else to do and stop annoying me. ….I said you can't draw things anymore, remember?

Oujay – Congrats on your promotion to Hero. Unfortunately, while you are easily the most competent of the Ostian knights, you are not as skilled as Dieck or Echidna…stop sulking already.

Percival – Alan and Lance are not copying you. …..okay yes they are, but they've stopped with the hair dye and voice imitation.

Ray – Congrats on your promotion to Druid. No this does not mean you can start smiting people. You are not a god, as much as you think are one.

Roy – Why do you have to share your father's kind heart? Not only he has allowed this….disgusting affair, you honestly want to make sure you're fair to each wife? …..oh for heaven's sake. This is why you're only the leader in spirit, milord…..no you may not use our gold to get them all wedding presents, you were duped into this!

Rutger – Congrats on your promotion to Swordsmaster. While the five-copies trick for your criticals are pretty awe-inspiring, that doesn't give you the right to kill five people in a row everytime you do it.

Saul – Congrats on your promotion to hahahaha psyche! I'm not promoting you, you degenerate. Go ahead, try to convince me why I shouldn't take your staff away and kick you out of the army.

Shanna – Congrats on your promotion to Falcoknight. Please don't put glitter and stickers on your mount's horn, you've tortured it enough now.

Shin – Congrats on your promotion to Nomad Trooper. No you're not supposed to leave a mark to signify your presence, cutting an S into that archer's chest was impractical. It looks like a Z!

Sophia – Congrats on your promotion to Druid. ….no you may not snuggle with Master Roy because you "really want to", it's Lady Lilina's turn right now.

Sue – Congrats on your promotion to Nomad Trooper. The fierce galloping of your horse becomes undermined when you stop and take a solid minute to tongue kiss your husband. We are telling your grandfather if and when we find him.

Tate – Congrats on your promotion to Falcoknight. Yes I know we have the Delphi Shield now, but that doesn't mean you should offer to take on all archers. Miledy wants to borrow it now.

Treck – Eh….I'm not sure about you. You're not obnoxious like Noah, and you're still skilled. But you're not as good as the other cavaliers, so I don't think I should promote you. …..no you may not take that as a sign to sleep through every battle now. Either work or you're getting benched.

Ward – Here's another shovel. Go dig graves for our fallen enemies, because I can't stand the smell of blood and corpses anymore. You shall be our groundskeeper.

Wendy – Okay, you're on thin ice. Your strength is mediocre, your speed is laughable, and your defense is…not too great. Douglas exceeds you in every way. If you don't convince why I shouldn't bench you, you can join your fellow knights.

Wolt – No you may not marry Master Roy too just to make sure "the girls don't take advantage of him". We've far passed that point now. …..put the ring away.

Zealot – You must be careful when throwing javelins. You knocked over a beehive, and now half of our army is running around like frightened little girls. You're allergic? Well run with them then!

Zeiss – No, it's not time to promote you just yet. I see promise though.