A/N: Hi.

I could set my watch to the promises you break, you know that?

A sentence into this thing, and I've already gotten to the point where I should be backtracking and apologising. Well, you know what? No. No, fuck you, I'm not apologising for anything. You have any idea how long I looked for you? How many things I want to say that CAN'T BE SAID THROUGH A NOTE?

You suck, Cask. If I knew what was going to come of it, I would have kicked you into the fire as soon as you asked me to be your beard. You're infuriating. I regret meeting you. How dare you make me feel emotion while I'm this tired.

That being said, I'm still writing this, because at this point I'm well aware that I'll only catch up with you when you're leaving. I'm going to do something drastic when I see you, and hopefully this note will make it into your pocket, or your hand. Your life, at the very least. Last thing I need is to become the subject of one of your stories without context.

Look, you're sailing the thing, so it isn't my place to tell you this, but the world is a pretty big place. Your Captain wants to get to the end of the Grand Line, and I'll be honest, I think he'll be able to make it. Nami does too, and I know she'll be going with you. You'll be going to the other side of the world, and I don't want you to leave before I can tell you that I don't love you. I like you, more than I like a lot of other people, and this last decade notwithstanding, the time I spent with you was probably the most fun I can remember having.

Really, I've known you for… what, a collective day? Not even? And I spent most of that bewildered and confused anyway? And yet here I am, wishing I could keep living those three days of partying for the rest of my life. Sheesh, am I sad or what?

That being said, I won't ask you to stay. I doubt you would. But, after Luffy finds the One Piece and you've all accomplished everything you wanted, can I ask you to visit? It'll be great, I'll introduce you to my new husband and the ugly litter of children that managed to crawl out of me. You may have to get a bit lucky in the regard, though, in my experience children seem intent on murdering themselves in the most contrived ways possible. Best to not keep me waiting too long, probably.

Of course, if you want those children to be yours, that can be arranged… if you feel like kidnapping them for a ransom I'll likely never pay, that is.

Man, I didn't even realise that I was this tired. I wrote this note to let you know that you're an awful human being, and now I'm prattling on about children. Yuck.

Oh, one more thing. After I gave up on looking for you, I went and memorised the Shark God prophecy. You forgot about that, didn't you? Because if so, then I'm not surprised. You never did seem to take it very seriously. Anyway, I'll write it out here to end this letter off. See you later, ma-

XxX

I had to read through the note three times before it actually sank in, how much the universe seemed to be conspiring against me at every turn. I mean, there was bad luck, and then there was leaving the rest of a message basically untouched and soiling the important contents beyond recognition. What the actual fuck were those chances?

Technically it was my fault for jumping into the water in the first place, but damn. Just take my lunch money or shove me into a locker, leave the actual important shit alone.

The next perusal was a minute later, after I'd stewed on my own indignation a bit. This time was so I could properly pay attention to everything Nojiko was saying. At least, it was probably Nojiko. It'd be pretty strange if it was anyone else.

The third and fourth times passed much the same. The fifth time, I let the puppy read it with me, just to see if it could make more sense of it than I could.

"Yip!"

Apparently, that too was a no-go.

"Alright, so…" I rubbed my forehead, wondering when the migraine had decided to pop up. It was so sudden that I couldn't be sure I hadn't just had it the entire time, and was only realising now. "She says she hates me… but! She spends most of the time I'm on the island with me, wants to ask me to stay, makes comments about children with no prompting, memorises an entire prophecy for me on the off chance that it even does apply to anybody, and to top it all off, she kisses me."

The back of my head gave a painful throb. Probably a premonition of what Nami was going to do to me at some point in the future, if I had to guess.

"Yip!"

Ah, to be as young and naïve as this dog that I fucking made.

"No, that can't be it. I gave her the puppy after everything except the kiss, and even that was pre-emptive." You know, at least this kind of made me feel almost… normal. The last time I'd agonised over a girl to this degree was when I was eight, and even then, she'd been a teacher. Fuck your failing grade, Ms. Rose, you asked for a hundred words on an interesting meal we once had. Who gives a fuck if a worm isn't food, at least I wasn't one of the dumb assholes that gave you a single sentence.

Fucking Billy can't even spell 'week', but he still got my A+. Bullshit, bitch specifically targeted my perfect record.

…Okay, so there may have been some other cases after that. But they were very few, very far in-between, and largely uninteresting in the grand scheme of things.

"Yip!"

I had to physically shake my head to get myself back to the present. Once that was done, I made sure the dog was looking at me, before rolling my eyes hard enough to hear them moving. Not an easy feat, I'll have you know.

"Yes, of course, that's brilliant. Totally what happened. Absolutely." I sighed through my nose, annoyed that I couldn't hold it against the dog. It was, technically, only about an hour old, if even that. Not exactly criminally responsible. "No. Not a chance. You don't get pretty girls by spending a couple of days with them and then offering to make them a pet. That's how you get restraining orders."

"Yip!"

It was me barking at that point, a short laugh that should have only been heard echoing out from the gates of Hell. "Divine intervention? Ha! That's a good one." It was a pretty funny thing to imagine, though. Damn multiversal existential entities that grant people power, never caring about anything that makes them who they are. Just like the shitty stories I wrote when I was fifteen. It even starred myself as the omniscient overseer of events… the more things change, the more they stay the same.

That fanfic was dead now, like me.

…But what if…?

"No." Not even I hated myself to do this, not a chance. Shaking my head at the mere thought, I folded the letter so that the line in the paper were actually straight, sliding it back into my pocket. The dog whined and tilted its head to the side, its ears drooping slightly as I attempted a smile and more than likely failed. "Just a thought that I'm not going to let myself entertain. Last thing I need is for more… crazy, to get stuck up in here."

In the end, it all came down to how much I felt like agonising over my own stupid, worthless thoughts today. And contrary to almost the entirety of my past, I discovered that I didn't even find it within myself to do that.

Quite simply, that note terrified me. Not with what it was saying, nor with the sentiment behind it, but purely because of what it could make me do if it caught me in the correct mood.

"Yip!"

This dog was quickly becoming one of the best decisions I'd ever not tried to make. I could almost feel like some of the melancholy was drained through a tiny hole that had been poked through my ribs with that single barb.

"Yeah, very funny." Don't think about it, you're obvious not good at doing that. "You want solar laser eyes or not?"

"YIP!"

Ah, his first curse word. I'm so fucking proud.

XxX

"Uh, hey, Cask, are you the… What are you doing?"

Now, on the one hand, I was a bit annoyed that Usopp had decided to interrupt the delicate process.

On the other hand, I was holding a glowing dog's head open with a thumb and index finger and poking around inside of where its brain should have been, so his question was entirely justified. Plus, I had barely any concept of time on the best of days – and anytime I said otherwise I was speaking entirely out of my ass and you can't trust me – so for all I knew, I could have been in here for hours already. Hell, maybe I was interrupting him.

The puppy yipped. Usopp yipped right back, which was also understandable, seeing as the puppy's entire lower half sort of unhinged like a snake's jaw in order to make the mouth to yip with. Disturbing, but oh well, I'd seen worse.

"My Fruit is Lens-Lens, and lenses reflect light and magnify stuff, so now I'm trying to see whether or not I can reflect light in such a way that it'll intensify while moving where I want to go, to the point where it makes things blow up with a single puppy stare."

Mad, they'd called me! And they were probably entirely correct, because no person in their right mind would probably attempt such a thing.

Who is they, you ask?

Eh, you know, them.

"So, what's up?"

In the reflection of the lens that I was trying to shove through the dog's eyeball (and spectacularly failing, but shut up), I saw Usopp stiffen slightly, and then look to the side. One finger came up to scratch at his cheek, which looked suspiciously red.

"Ah, yeah, about that… everyone else just finished eating, and Sanji told me to come bring your portion to you," Usopp lifted his other hand, which was laden down with a plate that seemed to be holding a little piece of heaven, "and I only just now remembered that you don't eat and pleasedon'thurtmeforaccidentallyteasingyouIcompletelyforgotandit'sSanji'sfaultanyway!"

Damn, never knew Usopp could talk that quickly. Where could I get a copy of his mixtape?

Slowly, I withdrew my hand from my currently failing project and turned around. The dog whined as my attention was drawn away from it, which I ignored pretty much entirely. "Why would I hurt you?"

Usopp hid the plate behind his back. I think he was trying to come across as inconspicuous. It didn't work. "Because you hurt people?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

Usopp took a step back, towards the door. The dinner plate thunked very audibly against the door frame. For his sake, I pretended that I hadn't heard it.

"…An answer?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, very deliberately turning back to my puppy. Nudging the bridge of my nose, I called forth a pair of Haki glasses, weaving another lens through my fingers and pretty much just poking around with the general hope that something positive would happen because of it.

I angled the lens towards the door, and caught a flash of soul. Odd, I would have assumed that Usopp would have fucked off the first chance he got, seeing as I had all but verbally dismissed him.

Judging from the way it looked like he was trying to see around my shoulder, however, I could only guess that he was… curious, would be my best bet. More power to him, he'd probably not come across a lot of Devil Fruit manipulation on his hick island. Besides, I hadn't even half a fucking clue what I was really doing, so what was the worst that could come of his presence? Lost concentration?

May as well make the most of it, I suppose.

"Speaking of questions and answers…" With a flex of my fingers, the lens I'd been holding shattered. Sighing through my nose, I flicked another one into existence, continuing on as though the interruption had never happened. "Mind if I ask you something that you don't have to answer?"

"E-eh? Uh, sur-"

The finger that I had been using to prod everything into place inside the dog exploded. Well, to be more specific, the lens that I was trying to place flared up with orange light out of nowhere, and detonated. It took the finger that I had been using to prod everything into place with away at the base, spinning me around with enough force to separate the bone and fling it, Haki still covered, directly in Usopp's direction.

Huh, this felt familiar. What had happened last time- OH NO.

I wish I could have seen what was happening better in that moment. Alas, with the glasses on, everything was being presented to me as a viscous blob of what could have possibly been colour. I couldn't tell if Usopp's eyes or mouth were moving, but I could tell that he'd still not deigned to get the fuck out of the way.

Okay, so maybe asking anyone to dodge a bullet was a little unfair. It hadn't exactly worked for Arlong, but at least he'd gotten out of it alive. Maybe. Possibly? Hell if I knew. That last island had been a fucking trip and a half.

Hmm, speaking of Arlong, I'm sure something had happened there. I'd been able to retrieve the… had it been my finger or an arrow? Even if it had happened only about half a week ago, it felt like months had passed. Though if I was going to bring up weird time inconsistencies, then for all intents and purposes, Usopp should probably have been dead from a shot to the head a few hundred times over by now.

Look, I had a lot of shit to question right now. It was keeping him alive, so it could get in the fucking line while I tried to head it off.

Hahaha, head it off. Ah, I'm funny, and one of my… friends? Acquaintances? Crewmates. One of my crewmates was about to die. But I'm hilarious.

Alright, shit. What do they always tell you to do in situations of inevitable peril? I'm fairly sure I wasn't panicking, so that was out. Stop, drop, and roll? That might have helped Usopp, if he had the time, and that finger was really takings its sweet time, wasn't it?

Ah, analyse the situation, that was a good one. Now, let's see… there was Usopp, still as fucked as ever. There was the finger… was that a Haki trail coming from it? Hmm, yes, that was almost certainly a trail of Haki coming out of my finger as it flew. Oddly enough, it didn't look like it was Armament; far too pale, far too wispy. I wasn't aware that I could produce anything but Armament.

Wait, Haki came in 'colours', didn't it? Maybe this was some sort of colourless state that it would regress to in certain situations… ah, fuck it, I could theory-craft on my own time. Still, that did give me an idea.

The invisible wisps stretched between my finger and my stump. It was like a cloud of smog, holes every now and then, but ultimately connected and ever-expanding. It wasn't Armament, but it still presumably Haki. Technically, it was my Haki. So, there was nothing to suggest that I couldn't turn it back into Armament. I'd done something similar during the Arlong situation, so I knew it was possible. Whether I could do it consciously was the real question.

Well, it wasn't like I would have the time to come up with another solution. Judging from the breakneck speed my finger was travelling at, Usopp only had roughly one year left to live. He probably could have added a millennium or two if he decided to lean back and get comfortable before his face was poked inside-out.

…It really should have been a problem, how easily I could joke about this shit. Were there therapists in this world? Because if so, I had a good inkling that I could make one of them very rich indeed. They'd likely dob me in after admitting to Krieg and Nezumi, but I could surely play the part of golden goose well enough for the first few sessions.

No, wait, they'd probably pay me for Krieg. It was the mouse fuckwit I had to worry about… What was I thinking about again?

Oh, right.

"Yip!"

Fuck, hang on, I'm getting there!

Alright, focus. Try to flex the not-muscle that is the not-control I had over the not-Armament. Get it to spread, no room to shove a lens so I couldn't cheat my way out of this one-

I flicked my hand, and almost reeled back as everything around me lurched. Waves rose up around the ship as my own glasses were knocked off, moving fast enough to hit the ground before they could dissipate. Usopp was blown completely off his feet, which was likely the only thing that saved his life after the finger sped up to the point of near impossible to follow. The Haki caught it in less than an instant anyway, reeling it back down to me as I blinked the sudden spots from my vision and tried to get a good look at our surroundings.

I would be very mad if we were under attack once again. After the amount of shit that had gone down recently, I fucking reserved the right to enjoy things at my own gods forsaken pace. I didn't care if it killed me again.

"Cask!" I heard Nami screaming from… somewhere out of sight. The ship lurched again, this time tilting to one side to accommodate the sharp angle we'd turned at. "Stop knocking the ship off course, or so help me…!"

Yeah, sure, her sister kisses me and suddenly everything is my fault. I waved my hand dismissively in what I hoped was at least vaguely her direction – and almost knocked myself over when my arm snapped out with enough force to blur out of view. Another giant plume of water rose in front of us, easily dwarfing the Going Merry as it moved off to explore over the horizon.

"CASK!"

"Sorry!" I called back absently, giving my arm a careful once-over. Hmm, covered in Haki, muscles strained, lemme just- yep, fist clenched and showing absolutely no signs of moving on its own. Seems like my arm didn't get the 'not panicking' memo. What percentage was this, even?

I could hear my bones creaking as I forced my arm to relax. It was even more difficult than I'd been anticipating. While I worked on wrenching my fingers open with my free hand, I turned to where Usopp had been knocked on his ass, intent on pretending absolutely nothing had happened and mainly hoping he would play along.

"So, yeah, that question. You ever regret joining the Straw Hats?"

"More and more every day…" Usopp rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands, before stilling. In a display of acrobatic excellence, he rolled into a sitting position with what must have been the muscles in his ass, crossing his legs in front of him and clasping at both of his ankles. "Wait, do you regret joining us?"

"No, I'm asking for a friend." Usopp and I exchanged blank looks. Either he didn't pick up on the sarcasm, or he didn't appreciate it. I broke away first, rolling my eyes up until I was looking at the tip of the sail.

"When I died..."

That probably wasn't the best way to start off that explanation, but it wasn't like I had all that much to lose. My attention was pretty much for naught either way, Usopp didn't even blink at my words.

I turned back to him slowly, having expected a gasp or a whimper or… something in acknowledgement to what I just said. Instead, I ended up getting the very same blank stare that he'd been giving me before. None of his facial muscles had to even twitch.

"...Really?" I couldn't tell if I was impressed or disappointed. "No reaction at all to that?"

Usopp just shrugged. "It's actually not that difficult to imagine someone killed you, then resurrected you to kill you again. Especially now that I know you better."

Oi.

"...Moving on." Reaching into my pocket, I folded the piece of paper that Nojiko had slipped me between my fingers, flicking it in Usopp's direction. It bounced off his nose, and he watched with crossed eyes as it drifted down into his hand. The cord of Haki that I'd managed to wrap around his wrist, to move that hand into position in the first place, receded back into my body as he unfolded the note and began to read.

I turned my attention back to my puppy while he did so, spinning a new web of lenses between my fingers. So far, I'd made some progress… maybe. Look, wiring a whole matrix of bullshit into a pseudo-living being's head was difficult enough when taken at face value. Who would have thought that making explosives that didn't blow up in my face would be so difficult?

I had to figure out how to handle the lenses in such a way to only let the sunlight travel in one direction, but also test if they could be overloaded in a dire situation, while also figuring out how to integrate a point that could discharge the energy in a controlled manner, on top of squeezing in panels that would be taking in the solar energy in the first place. Some places would have to intensify the light into something that could kill people in seconds instead of years, and some places would restrict movement if I so much as considered construction. I'd only been trying for a couple of hours, and already, I may as well have been throwing shit at a wall. It was, in every sense of the word, a crapshoot.

"Aaaaaand…" With a twist of my wrist, I'd buried the new configuration somewhere the dog's heart would have been. It fit perfectly, like it had been made specifically to sit there. "There-"

Without warning, the dog's entire body crumbled. Not even a yip left its mouth before it was a particularly shiny puddle on the ground. What was left of its body then darkened considerably, going even beyond the point of what I could have reliably called Armament.

"...Ah."

Well, that wasn't light. I would go so far as to say that was the entire opposite of light.

"So!" I cleared my throat far too loudly for it to be anything other than uncomfortable, laying a hand on the rapidly steaming pile of nonsense in front of me and sucking it back in through my palm. Note to self, there appeared to be some form of decomposition at work here, forming a mist that almost felt viscous to touch. Yet more bullshit that I didn't understand, hooray.

Did I overload the Haki with the Fruit? Wasn't the whole point of Haki to nullify Devil Fruits?

I dismissed that thought with a wave of my hand, also blowing away the last of the odd mist. Usopp was still staring at the note when I turned back to him, his lips tilted downwards in what could have almost been an exaggerated manner, had it been anyone else. As it stood, I was fairly certain that expression was just his regular frown.

"Would you have stayed with her?"

Ah, yes, that million dollar question. I grimaced before I could help it, which Usopp absolutely must have seen before the expression was wiped from my face.

"Don't give me that look. You asked me if it was alright to regret joining Luffy, and then you showed me this note." Usopp waved the note in my face for emphasis. I snatched it out of his hand before something could go horribly wrong, smoothing it over and folding it back into my pocket carefully. Unperturbed, Usopp crossed his arms and legs, leaning back in a way that implied he'd been spending way too much time with Luffy recently. "So, would you have stayed with her?"

Would I have stayed with her? Well, the answer to that was obvious, was it not?

"No, I wouldn't."

Usopp recoiled, his chin in the air as though he'd been struck. Yep, definitely spending too much time with Luffy.

He reeled himself in, his mouth already open. I clamped my hand over it before he could start firing off questions, because there wasn't a very good chance that I would be able to answer a large majority of them.

"Look, Usopp, it's…" I parsed my extensive vocabulary for an explanation that would make sense and satisfy. It didn't work out too well.

"It's complicated, alright?"

Usopp rolled his eyes at me, bringing a hand up and pulling at my fingers. Distracted as I was, I didn't realise I wasn't moving them until he tapped at my forehead with one hand while gesturing wildly at his predicament with the other.

I was not sheepish in my movements. I was merely abashed- no, that didn't help.

"We've got hours until we hit land," His mouth was already moving before I'd even managed to peel my hand away entirely. He was awfully chatty today, all things considered. A holdover from the party, perhaps? "I know you can elaborate."

Oh yes, elaboration was the key. However couldn't I have seen that before now?

That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.

My head impacted the deck where my puppy had met its unfortunate demise minutes earlier. The movement was something I consciously both planned and executed, if rather abrupt. I just didn't feel all that much like sitting up any longer.

"Fine." I tucked my hands behind my head, spinning out another lens as I did so. With a muted glow that barely lasted long enough to be noticable, a Haki-puppy was curling up on my stomach, settling his little head on his tiny paws. This one was a little smaller than the other one had been, but it was still technically the same exact construct. Not to mention I'd been feeling a bit lonely, and this seemed to be the best I could do on such short notice. "I'm warning you right now that I'm about to drop some heavy shit on your head, last chance to back out."

I expected a stammered response and the rapid retreat of footsteps. What I got instead was Usopp settling on the deck beside me, folding his hands over his stomach and draping his left leg over his propped-up knee.

He didn't say anything to me, opting instead to direct his eyes to the clouds overhead. They must have been particularly entrancing today, because I didn't really feel like looking anywhere else once I had them in my sights.

"I would have been happy with being dead, you know?"

Lazily, I reached out towards the sky, my eyes following along as my fingers closed around my view of one of the clouds. Maybe it was my muscles or maybe it was gravity, but something moved my fist out of the way, and that cloud was still floating up there there like nothing else mattered.

The fluffy, formless shape it was taking must have been cruel irony.

"I was brought here without a choice, without knowing what it would entail. None of this feels like it should be real." Cocking one blackened finger back, I concentrated for a moment, before flicking it back out. A visible cone of air shot upwards, ruffling our hair and fluttering along the length of the sail. "I'm here because we're going to Raftel, and who the fuck knows what we're gonna find there, you know? I might be able to get where I belong, but I'm not sure I want to be on this crew."

If there was anything that could get me back to Earth, or maybe even Hell, then it would have to be once we'd reached the final destination. The place that people would always remember. There was no other option available, it may as well have been a law of reality when it came to fantasy settings.

"I'm not cut out to chase freedom like the rest of you."

But that just didn't appeal to me. I wasn't the type of author that wrote to fill the empty hole that life had left in my chest. I didn't crave any epic journey across time and space.

Was it really so bad that I just wanted to die?

"But if I stop, and get off this crazy-ass ride we're all on, there's no guarantee that I'll ever get anywhere." I spread my hand out, sprouting lenses along the entire length of it. With a small mental push, the began to rise off my hand, gaining a glow that bordered on green in the sunlight as they built upon one another. "This is a grand adventure we're undertaking, the kind of shit that grants wishes at the end. If things keep going the way they are for me, then I'll have all the time in the world."

The construct in my hand continued to grow, needing no input from me beyond the momentary burst of inspiration. Within a few moments I was looking at a copy of my own face, albeit with a few purposeful mistakes made. It was me, but at the same time, it was something I could never be.

"But I can look you, or anyone else in the eye, and I can tell you with the utmost certainty that I will never find Raftel on my own."

I curled my hand into a fist, crumbling Intern's visage into a fine, sparkling mist. Usopp didn't say anything when the wind carried it over to him, not moving but for the deep breaths he was taking.

"That's how this shit works. If there's anything that'll help me get to where I want to be, then it's this crew. All of you have no choice but to be legends, but me?"

The puppy curled up on my chest let out a huffy, shuddering breath. My hand dropped on top of its head, rubbing absently at the back of his ears. Barely consciously, I began funneling Haki into him through the contact, beginning the arduous journey of getting him to where he had been before I fucked up.

"Until I find something that'll put me in the ground, where I belong, then I'll only ever be my own legacy. So, I guess, to answer your question: No, I wouldn't have stayed with her. But I don't think I want to be a part of the crew either, and the fact that leaving is the only choice I can't afford to make…"

Being trapped was never a nice sensation. It was suffocating, taking up all the room in your lungs. It weighed you down, turned your organs to lead and the air around you to cement.

Eventually, something had to break, and humans had the unfortunate mental and physical feature of bending under pressure.

"...It makes me angry. It makes me want to tear the world apart until I dig myself a grave that can hold me. It scares the shit out of me."

The words were flat, empty. I had nothing left to offer, now that the rage had been drained out of me. It would be back soon enough, it always was, but all I could feel right now was helpless. Weak.

"I...I don't want this."

It was that simple. None of me, on any conceivable level, wanted any part of this. Why the fuck would I want to be here, in this world? The government was even worse than what I'd left behind, half the landmass was uninteresting drivel, the other half wanted to kill me and everyone else in the world, and I'd given up any chance of ever being able to swim on a fucking ocean planet.

Hell, they didn't even have the internet here. That was one of the reasons I'd even been managing back home.

Really, the only improvement was the superpowers, and even those were being a bitch.

"And I just know that the fucker that did this to me is out there somewhere, lurking near the end of the line, laughing his ass off at me." My hand stilled, and the puppy growled. Whether that was a response to what I had said or what I had done, I didn't have a clue. "Dunno what the fuck I'm gonna even do to him if it ever gets to that point..."

"I'll shoot him."

I couldn't help it, I snorted. It had been too unexpected for me to do anything else.

Usopp pushed himself back into a seated position as I tilted my head to look at him, a grin on his face. I couldn't tell if it was feigned or not, but considering how shitty he was at lying, I could only assume it was genuine.

He must have misinterpreted my interest, because he quickly shook his hands out in front of his face, like he was trying to ward me off.

"You don't know what you want to do, and hey, that's fine! Totally fine!" With a grandiose gesture, Usopp jabbed himself in the chest. I saw his face twitch as his own thumb dug into his sternum, but decided to save him the embarrassment. Him having to smother a cough was funny enough for me. "Buuuuut, even if you don't know what you're going to do, I do. I'm gonna shoot him, and Luffy's gonna punch him, just like Zoro's gonna stab him and Sanji's gonna kick him and Nami's gonna… do whatever it is she does. I should build her a weapon that's better than that stick…"

Usopp trailed off, his eyes clouding over slightly as he mumbled to himself under his breath. I heard the phrases 'extending' and 'destroy them all' before I decided to recline back and stop listening. Let the crazy man scheme and all that, if he needed me then he'd know where to find me. Besides, I was well versed in the ways of making progress while in a sort of haze.

Granted, mine were usually alcoholic in nature, but to each their own.

Still, this only managed to confirm one of the things I'd been dreading. They were growing attached to me, at least in some capacity, and it probably wouldn't be long until I was reciprocating. How were they supposed to live with the fact that I only wanted to leave if this continued? Would it get to the point when I wanted to stay alive?

If so, when would it stop? How many people would my actions hurt before I got what I craved? What would I do if I got to the point of genuinely not caring about them anymore? It wasn't even a question of could I live with myself afterwards; would they be able to live with themselves?

I didn't want to believe that I could have that much of an impact. People had told me in the past that I was a charismatic force, but I'd not believed them. To be fair to me, it was kind of difficult to accept something like that at face value.

Hell, they didn't need me, and I didn't want them to need me. But hey, my stupid ass got myself into this situation, with a little help. Thanks, me, you motherfucker.

No problem, me. Get fucking bent.

A finger tapping against my forehead drew my attention back to the world around me. I opened my eyes, briefly wondered when it was that I had closed them, and glanced back over that Usopp.

He offered me a grin that bared all his teeth and crinkled up both of his eyes, swiping across his lengthy nose with a thumb.

"I don't think you're scared. I think you're confused." The puppy on my chest raised his head slightly, yawned, and thumped face-first back into my shirt. I ignored him, keeping my attention on Usopp as he scratched at the back of his neck and glanced off to the side.

"Lemme tell you something, I know a thing or two about cowardice. Joining Luffy's crew and leaving home was probably the bravest thing I've ever done." Usopp chuckled, miming a one-two punch in front of himself that almost knocked him over. "You don't strike me as a coward."

"You hardly know me." By my own design.

"Hey, that's true." The puppy hiccuped. A bubble of Haki rose from its back, forming a crude human shape before the smaller ball on the top tipped to the side and fell off. For the most part, he went ignored. "But you're still a part of the crew, which means that even if I'm so terrified that I can't even move my legs, if we ever come across the guy that hurt you, I'll shoot him. With something that's really spicy."

For some reason, the image of Usopp pepper spraying me mercilessly entered my mind's eye. I probably shouldn't have found it as funny as I did.

"...I guess I'll need to stick around to see that." Something occurred to me in that moment, and I sat up ever so slightly so I could catch Usopp's eye once more. "Assuming you weren't lying?"

Immediately, he snapped into an upright position, his hand in the air in front of him, palm facing outwards."I make no promises!"

I sighed through my nose as I pushed myself off the deck. That was a more reassuring answer than anything else I could have been told, oddly enough. Something was telling me that he wasn't lying, for once, and I was fairly certain that I probably would have preferred if he was.

"Just as well, I suppose." Part of me wondered about what he was saying. Maybe I should cut back on the body horror while I was around him…? Actually, on second thought, he seemed to be doing just fine, so nah. "Say, what do you reckon I should do about Nami and her sister…?"

"The first conversation was hard enough, I'm not even going to look in that direction." Usopp shook his head hard enough to make his bushy hair whip about. All things considered, I don't think I could really blame the man. "You should ask Sanji or something, he'd probably be able to give you some advice."

'Some' and 'Advice' must have been what the cook had named his fancy dress shoes. "I think you mean he'd kick the shit out of me, for leaving a pretty girl behind."

"It's the way of the ocean." Usopp shrugged, and glanced off to the side. His face fell slightly, almost like he was considering his own wor… oh. Oh. Shit. "I think...I think he'd understand that."

Yep. Yep, it was exactly what I was thinking. None of the crew were like me, they'd all had to give something up in order to come aboard. Usopp had left behind that lady friend of his, hadn't he? If my shitty memory served me well, her name had started with a K.

My heart went out to him, it really did. Lord knew there were people that I missed. I would have given anything to be able to talk to my father and sisters. That wasn't an option for me, though, and it didn't look like Usopp would get the chance for a long while yet. The only technology for that were the snails, and I was fairly sure that even those couldn't convey images.

But still, what could I do about it? I wasn't any sort of technological wiz, all I had was my Haki and my Devil Fruit… my Lens Devil Fruit…

Now that was something to look into later. It was foolish, supernatural, and likely more than a little expensive, but there was definitely potential there for something great.

It was just too bad that all I had was a chunk of two admittedly-high profile bounties, and a whole shitload of mouse onesies. The cheese had all been donated to the only person on the ship who could actually do something with it. It was pretty high-quality stuff, according to Sanji.

Not that I would have expected anything less. Nezumi had been a ranking Marine, those guys could probably walk into any place and take whatever they wante-

My brain stalled entirely as a brand new thought entered it. There was no chance I could ever pull something like this off. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever even considered. It was fucking hilarious, and if I somehow managed to pull it off, then I would be set for a good, long while.

...But with my skill set, who could I possibly…?

Slowly, I uncurled my hand, drawing forth my Haki. It covered my skin quickly, beginning to rise off of it as I pushed more and more. Once I'd gathered a fair amount, I flexed my fingers, springing up as many lenses as I conceivably could.

Just like earlier, the Haki collapsed, melting away from my hand. It didn't seem solid, but it certainly wasn't a liquid either. I moved my hand to my chin to rub it in thought, and the Haki followed along with my movements, even though it didn't seem to physically be connected with my any longer.

Following an errant idea, I tried to push more Haki into it. The mass grew slowly, bubbles forming on the surface and popping harmlessly. It was unappealing to look at, and lacked any purpose, as far as I could see. Really, it just looked like a pitch-black pool of lava was following my hand.

Oh fuck me sideways this could work.

"…Hey, Usopp… what's our timber situation looking like?"

Usopp tore his eyes away from what I'd been doing, a visible shiver going through his whole body when he looked back into my face. I could feel my mouth spread wide, grinning wide enough to strain the muscles.

"...Since we haven't even had to repair a tear in the sail since you ate your Devil Fruit, it's 'looking' really good." I giggled. Usopp physically recoiled a little bit, adding on in a tiny voice, "why?"

I couldn't explain my plan to him. Nothing would ever get done if I did, he would be too busy calling me an idiot to work.

"Alright, look. this is going to be the dumbest thing I've ever done, but do you reckon you'd be able to turn one of my onesies into a Marine coat and cap before we get to Loguetown?"

The terrified expression left Usopp's face as quickly as it had appeared. In perfect unison, we both glanced down at my clothes. I'd left the zipper down, enough for a large majority of my shirt to be poking out, but my feet still ended in pawprints and there was definitely a couple of mouse ears pressed against the back of my neck.

"...I completely forgot you were wearing... that."

It really undercut the moment, if I did say so myself.

God I loved this thing.

"Fuck off, it's comfy."