The Doctor tapped his hands against his legs and stared.
Yumo wagged his tail so it thumped lightly against the floor and stared.
The Doctor curled his lip slightly and let out a quiet growl.
Yumo exposed his fangs and growled back.
"What are you doing?" Amelia asked as she stumbled upon the two on the floor in the kitchen.
"Showing him who is boss." the Doctor replied still staring at Yumo.
Amelia watched the two then gave up trying to figure them out. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with the last of the juice in the fridge and put bread into the toaster. As she climbed up onto a stool at the island counter with her breakfast the duo were still mirroring each other's actions.
Yumo yipped lightly.
The Doctor made an annoyed noise.
Yumo growled back.
The Doctor scowled and bared his teeth.
Yumo nibbled the air showing off his fangs again.
The Doctor paused, raised his hands and wiggled his thumbs.
Yumo looked at him in disgust and trotted off to his food dish.
"Hah! See that?" the Doctor leapt to his feet, nearly overbalancing and sending himself to the ground again.
"I saw you trying to win a staring contest with a dog and loosing." She offered him a piece of toast in condolence.
"No! Amelia, that wasn't a staring contest." He took a big bite of the toast. Speaking with his mouth full he dug through the fridge. "That was me showing who was boss! If you don't sit them down and have a frank discussion with them the first few days then you lose everything and they think they can walk all over you. No thanks, I learned that lesson with Lancelot and Canine thanks. Yumo knows who's boss."
"How'd you win?"
The Doctor pulled the milk carton out, opened it and drank directly from the carton. Amelia giggled at him as he emptied it and threw it in the vicinity of the bin. "Opposable thumbs." He wiggled his thumbs like he'd done with Yumo. "Remember, opposable thumbs win any argument with an animal. Well, any dominance argument."
"I'll remember." Amelia said solemnly. "Where are we going today?"
He looked at the bin in distaste then at the mostly empty fridge before finally landing on her too big sleep shirt (Well, it WAS a sleep shirt on Tegan, but on Amelia it was a nightgown).
"Earth."
"Oh."
"Why 'Oh'?"
"Earth's boring."
"Earth shopping. And maybe abducting. Well, anyway we have to go to a sweet store first." He said, leaving the room and heading for the Console room.
"Why?" Amelia looked curious and followed him.
"Because, Amelia, no sane person would get into an unidentified vehicle with a man who has rubbish sweets!"
-The stalked-
Tish should have known something was up when she awoke to the man across the hall from her flat blasting 'Trust me, I'm a Doctor'. She should have chocked it up to more than coincidence when the newspaper was missing the comics section. And she most definitely should have realized something was going on when she found that she was mysteriously ½quart shorter in milk than she had been the day before. But Tish was Tish and so use to Martha and Leo's antics that she just wrote it off as one of their pranks.
But she couldn't dismiss the feeling she was being watched as she walked down the street. She was heading to the shops to pick up shopping: milk, bread and other every day things.
The man was doing a horrible job at hiding anyway. She saw him every few seconds, he looked like a child trying to play secret agent. He'd roll across the sidewalk and hide behind a mail box, then scurry forward and hide behind a light pole;the fact that he was wearing a bowtie, braces and what appeared to be a party hat on his head didn't lend to his 'stealth' skills.
After he barrow rolled into a car she gave up and waited for him to catch up to her.
"Who are you, and what do you want?" She asked exasperation in her tone.
"Tish! I'm shocked you don't remember me. All those times we shared.." he looked wistful for a moment, "Your mum slapping me, running from Lazarus, bursting a church with rock music on a pipe organ and of course the accidental arrest and subsequent year." He looked a bit apologetic for the last bit.
"Doctor?" Tish asked sceptically.
"Yup! Sorry, look different. Time Lords cheat death." He steered her off the street and into an alleyway. "See, when I die I don't die I just regenerate. Thing is, that always leaves me with a new face then before. This is the 11th face." He pulled several faces showing off. "I like it so far. It's strange though. Apparently I'm a picky eater. Never been one of those before."
"Doctor, what do you want?" Tish found this version of him quite funny, but a bit long winded.
"Right! I need a person I can employ for a varying amount of time – between 2 weeks and 11 years – who won't disappear randomly and has no issues working with aliens."
"Have you got an urge to get a secretary now?"
"Nope." the Doctor dug through his pockets as they reached the end of the alley where the TARDIS stood.
"Come inside? I've got mars bars, Jelly babies, lemon drops, aero bars, Jelly beans, lollies, gum and near 5 pounds of boiled sweets from a pick & mix." He looked quite hopeful as he pulled out the key.
"Well, my mum told me never to get into a car with a strange man who offers me candy." Tish told him, seemingly agonizing over the decision.
"It's not a car, it's a TARDIS and I'm not...well...There's lots of candy plus." He waved his hands at the TARDIS' now open door like Vanna White, "Shiny..."
Tish rolled her eyes but went into the TARDIS anyway.
"Oh, and for the record for future bribes: I'm not much of a candy person, more of a crisps and cakes person."
The Doctor snapped his fingers and pointed at her, "Good to know! Now, I need a bit of help from you for several things."
"What things?"
The Doctor didn't have time to answer as a yelp, a splash, a crash and a howl came echoing through the TARDIS.
Yumo came flailing in minutes later, spinning in circles with a bowl over his head and neck.
Tish didn't even think – it could have been some evil human eating alien for all she knew! – she reached down and plucked the bowl away from the little beast.
"Amelia?" the Doctor said loudly.
A girl around age 7 came running in moments later.
"Hi!"
"What happened?"
"I was trying to put dishes up and he got in the way and I tripped. The bowl dumped on him, but I didn't hurt him. I tried to clean up the water but the air kept pushing me away and when I asked if I should clean I got cold air and I think that-"
"Means to leave it and the TARDIS will care for it. Yup."
"I know you take young people on your journeys," Tish chose her words carefully, "But isn't she a bit too young?"
"Who're you?" Amelia asked not recognizing the woman, "Are you my new babysitter?"
Tish's eyes went wide, "You didn't!"
"Didn't what?"
"You had a child!"
"What? Why does everyone keep asking that? First Luke, then Jack and now you! She's not Donna's or mine."
"I didn't say Donna. I'm not sure who that is, but it sounds like suspicious denial to me." Tish teased him. She winked at Amelia and got a conspiring giggle in reply.
The Doctor spluttered for a few minutes, frowned and glared half-heartedly at the two girls. "I changed my mind. We're finding a baby sitter who isn't a girl or related to anyone who knows me."
"Too late!" Amelia held her hand out to Tish, "I'm Amelia Pond. Who're you?"
Tish's eyes went wide with shock as she looked between the girl and the Doctor. "Seriously?"
"Yes."
The Doctor studied his shoes innocently.
Tish shook the offered hand, "I'm Leticia Jones. You can call me Tish. Why am I babysitting?"
It took ages to explain it properly to her and even longer before she stopped giggling at some of the stories Amelia told of Luke and a drunk Jack.
"Right, where were we?" the Doctor interrupted the laughter again. "Secondary reason for you being here: Shopping."
"Shopping?" Tish raised her eyebrows and watched him.
"Yes! What Amelia is wearing is the best fitting clothing in the wardrobe, and it's a sleep shirt! I've got one dress I stole—er, borrowed from your mum's attic, but that won't work for everyday."
"Which dress?" Tish asked Amelia curiously.
"Tan one, it's long with darker brown markings."
"Oh, I loved that one. It's soft and flowy, isn't it?"
"Yeah!"
"ALSO!" the Doctor raised his voice, "I need food."
"You need food?"
"I need food." He agreed.
"You want me to go shopping for you not just for kids things but for food as well? Doctor, they don't pay secretaries that well."
"We'll go with you. And I have this." the Doctor held up his psychic paper in one hand and a credit card in the other.
"Who gave YOU a credit card?" Tish looked scandalized, "What'd you put on the application? Location; 1967, 1850, 2008 take 1, take 2?"
"It's not mine. I took it from Jack while he was drowning. He won't need it, he's on Earth. I think. Is he on Earth, Tish?"
"Uh...What time do you think I'm from?" she hesitated, trying to recall rules of time travel from any movies or books she'd seen.
"You're November 18th 2010." He stated easily as if it were no big deal.
"Er, no. It's October 21st 2009."
The Doctor tried not to blush or look embarrassed as Amelia giggled and Tish tried politely not to laugh.
"I knew that. I was testing you. Anyway, Jack!"
"Last I heard from Jack he was up in Cardiff rebuilding Torchwood with the others and visiting his 'Not-a-girlfriend' in England once a week."
"He's got a girlfriend?" the Doctor rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised? Give a letch an inch, he'll take a mile. Give him a second chance and he'll use a sob story to get girls in be—to hug girls."
"The Doctor says Jack's a harlot." Amelia told Tish seriously.
Tish gave in to giggles.
"First things first." Tish said as they prepared to go out shopping. "Amelia needs a disguise."
"Why?" Amelia asked as she tried to do up the shirt.
She'd gone digging through the wardrobe again and came out with a skirt that fell near her knees – and lower if the belt slipped—a way to big tank top that Tish tied back with a man's dress shirt over top of it, the arms folded up 5 times and still baggy around her hands. The only thing that did fit was her shoes, white and shiny with the initials showing happily on the back.
"Rule 2."
"Don't as stupid questions." Amelia repeated at the Doctor's prompting. She frowned. "That wasn't a stupid question."
"Yes it was. Where are we?"
"Earth, London, 2009."
"Where are you from?"
"Earth, Leadworth, 1996."
"That's 13 years of difference there. You've been missing a long time. You're probably infamous and what would happen if someone found out about time travel?"
"Everything would go belly up." Amelia sighed.
"Right!" the Doctor dug through a box under the console and produced a bright purple fluffy hat that looked like a circular hat box with a wide floppy brim.
Tish clutched a hand over her mouth to not laugh.
The Doctor then pulled out a pair of star shaped sunglasses that were red framed with blue lenses and she gave up the fight.
Once she composed herself again she started the second half of the 'hide Amelia' plan.
"And we can't call her Amelia, or Pond. At least not together." Tish told him, "That's a famous name."
"Really?" the two said in unison.
"Wow." Amelia whispered.
"Well, Infamous." Tish admitted.
The Doctor frowned, puzzling over it for several moments before deciding.
"Smith."
"Sorry?"
"I go by Smith on Earth when I have to. John Smith."
"Okay then." Tish offered Amelia her hand, "John and Amy Smith."
Amelia tilted her head considering the name, "I like it."
They split off once they entered the street the shops were on. Tish had gone with Amelia to get clothes while the Doctor had disappeared into the nearest food shop. He'd left them the credit card and told them to come locate him when they were done; he had work to do.
"So how many pairs of clothes do you have?" Tish asked her as they searched for the children's department.
"Um..."
"Pyjamas, shirts, trousers, pants, shoes?" Tish prompted.
"Oh! I've got the nightgown I wore when the-John took me." Amelia fumbled but tried to keep with the names they'd been given for public, just in case. "I've got the tunic Dex loaned me and the trousers as well. I have my wellies, these shoes, Dex's boots and another pair, but the other pair is caked in mud."
"That's it?"
"I borrow from the wardrobe?" Amelia offered trying to keep her from getting upset.
Tish dragged Amelia to the nearest clothing rack for children and looked at the credit card. "Think this thing has a limit?"
"I dunno."
"Let's find out!"
Amelia's head was spinning by time they were through clothes shopping. She'd gotten 15 new T-shirts, 15 pairs of jean or Khaki trousers. 10 new skirts, 10 new dress shirts, 5 new dresses, a plethora of undershirts and pants, several pyjama sets and THREE pairs of shoes; a basic set of tennis shoes, a pair of hiking boots and a dressy pair that was black to match the white Mary-Jane's she wore currently.
The cashier's eyes had gone wide as footballs when she'd rung them up. Tish had found it all very funny and was planning on calling Jack later to tease him.
They ditched the clothing inside the TARDIS on the console room floor and stayed long enough for Amelia to change. Clad in a pair of khaki trousers, pink light up tennis shoes, a bright pink button up dress shirt and her previous hat and sunglass combo she looked normal...relatively.
"If anyone asks why you're wearing that tell them you dressed yourself and isn't it cool." Tish told her as they left again.
They located the Doctor in the fruit isle of the other shop and had to wonder at what he'd been doing; the only things in the cart were bananas, fish fingers and custard.
Then again, the cart was filled near the brim.
"I'm done." the Doctor told Tish easily.
"You're nowhere near done." Tish sent him her best mum glare. It must have worked as the Doctor did shiver slightly. "Go get another cart."
[AN: We're now onto my personal FAVORITE companion to write about now. Yes, she's not quite a companion in canon, but she still kicks arse! Excuse her, she's excitable and well, Tish is pretty neat. Yeah, hope you like her like I do!]