Author's Note: I know what you're probably thinking to yourself: OMG, no way! That lazy bum finally updated Double Agent. Wait, why do I care? I don't even remember what's going on in that story. Yeah... I totally don't blame you for thinking that. I don't really have an excuse for why it's taken me more than two months to update...okay, that's not true, I have a bunch of excuses, but you probably don't care to listen to them. Anyway, my personal life is going a little better and I no longer have Mass Effect 2 to distract me, so hopefully this mean I will be updating a little more frequently. Notice how I said hopefully, however, as it is no definite thing. You can be rest assured, though, that I will not abandon this story no matter how crappy the current season of Chuck gets (and right now, it's pretty damn shitty). It's sad that I recognize my completely AU characters of Chuck and Sarah far more than I recognize the ones on the show, and I'm not even saying that because I'm the writer.
Big thanks must go out to two people: To Wepdiggy for his usual assitance and help; he actually helped clarify several issues for me that needed to be fixed. And to crystal elements for helping me with the first part of this chapter, even though I was mean to her and asked far too many questions.
Okay, so to help explain things a bit. When we last left off, Chuck and Carina played some tonsil hockey, Chuck was made an official agent of the CIA, Sarah was reinstated, and we all found out that Bryce was the Intersect. This is very much a transition chapter, but I hope you enjoy anyway. I briefly contemplated splitting it up, but I figured you all deserved a big chapter after the wait. I know I said some stuff would happen in this chapter in my preview, but after two months, my vision for this chapter changed a bit. For instance, the chapter title changed. And no real Bryce scene here. Certainly no Bryce and Sarah scenes. I'm sure you guys are real torn up about that too. Unfortunately, I had to add extra Charah as well. Again, I'm sure you're all lamenting that as well. Sorry! moo told me a while back I needed more Charah in my stories. You can blame her.
"Bullshit."
"What?"
Sarah glared at the array of people sitting around her. "I said bullshit."
Chuck frowned and ran a slightly trembling hand through his hair. Her eyes narrowed at the sight and now she knew for sure that nothing they were telling her was on the level.
"You can't put a computer in someone's head," Sarah stated emphatically.
"Yes," Larkin said definitively, "you can." He leaned forward onto the table, chin resting in his hand. "And we did."
"And you're it?" Sarah asked skeptically. She couldn't help it, there was just no way Bryce Larkin was the Intersect. That made zero sense.
"Last time I checked."
Sarah rolled her eyes at his response and impatiently turned toward Chuck. She blocked everyone else from her mind, made them fade from her vision, until the only person she could see, the only person she cared about seeing, was Chuck. "Look at me," she said.
Chuck sighed and spun his chair slightly so that he was facing her.
"You look me in the eye and tell me that all of this is true." She knew he couldn't do it. Chuck had fooled her many times in the past, that was true, but she knew he couldn't do it here. Because there was just no way what they were telling her was right.
"Sarah, there are a lot of things that I'm sure you don't understand right now, and there are even more that I can't explain to you, but I need you to trust me when I tell you that Bryce is the Intersect."
"That's not what I asked."
Chuck shrugged his shoulders and she could see the pleading in his eyes for her to accept what he was telling her. "That's all I can say at the moment."
"That's not good enough," she snapped out angrily. "You made me a promise!"
Chuck took a deep breath and then turned away from her to face the rest of the group. "Uh…guys, could I have the room for a minute?"
"First lover's spat," Casey said and then grunted. "Something tells me this is going to be a common occurrence."
"Casey," Chuck snapped out angrily, and Sarah was a bit taken aback at the anger in Chuck's tone. She had never heard Chuck sound like that; he was normally even-tempered and friendly. It was obvious that this whole Intersect nonsense was bothering him as much as it was bothering her.
It wasn't that she cared about Bryce being the Intersect, it was that not only was Chuck reneging on his promise to always be at her side, but he was lying to her as well. Nothing over the last few months made any sense if Chuck wasn't the Intersect. Why did he have such a loyal handler in Carina? Why did Casey risk killing his partner of five years over him if he wasn't the Intersect? Why did General Beckman care about him at all? Why had he just been put in charge of the whole project? Why did he have his own team period?
She knew that Chuck was special but the government didn't care how unique a person you were. They only cared about what you could do for them.
She needed answers to these questions. She demanded answers to these questions. She wasn't here because she cared about helping the government or about the greater good or any other crap like that. She was here because of Chuck. That's why she had agreed to help. Chuck was her mission. Without him, there was no reason for her to stick around.
Casey grunted again in annoyance but he pushed away from the table and stood up. He placed one of his large hands on Larkin's shoulder and started to pull the smaller man out of his seat. "Let's go, moron, we can go over your mission specs again."
Larkin didn't move at all, instead going limp like a child who refused to let their parent make them do something they didn't want to do. "I kinda wanted to stay and watch the fireworks," he whined.
"I wasn't really asking," Casey said with a growl.
Sarah was starting to wonder why Larkin was even a member of Team Bartowski if Chuck was the only one who seemed able to stand him. Maybe that was all the proof she needed that he really was the Intersect. Surely they wouldn't put up with him otherwise.
Larkin reluctantly got out of his chair and followed Casey as the bigger man left the room. Larkin's cool blue eyes never left her, and she could feel herself automatically tensing up in response. She wasn't sure what Larkin's game was, but it was making her slightly uncomfortable. She couldn't shake the notion that he was going to use this newfound partnership of theirs to finally try something with her.
"Chuck?" Carina asked in a very concerned tone.
Chuck just nodded his head.
Carina sighed, squeezed his shoulder, and then left the room as well. Now it was just the two of them and she was determined to get some answers.
She waited until Chuck's attention was fully back on her before she repeated her earlier lament. "You made me a promise."
"I did," Chuck agreed. He looked tired and it suddenly occurred to her how much pain he must be in. Why hadn't she remembered? How had she let that slip her mind? What kind of person was she? She claimed to have feelings for the man and yet she couldn't even remember that he was hurt?
Sarah sighed and changed focus. There was no point in badgering Chuck for information if he was just going to pass out on her. She needed him healthy and clear-headed.
"Chuck, are you okay?" she said in as caring a tone as she could, which she could admit was not very caring. She wasn't used to providing comfort to somebody, only taking it away. She felt intensely awkward as she hesitantly reached out and placed a gentle hand on his arm. She started to rub his bicep in what she hoped was a soothing gesture. Was she doing it right? She really didn't know, but as upset and confused as she was at the moment, she felt compelled to make sure Chuck was doing okay.
He sighed and rubbed a weary hand across his face. It shook and that concerned her more than it probably should. Maybe his hand hadn't trembled earlier because he was trying to avoid her but because of the pain?
"I'm really tired," he confessed to her quietly.
"Are you in pain?"
Chuck seemed reluctant to say anything but after looking at her quietly for several seconds, his whole body just seemed to collapse in on itself. He nodded his head slowly and croaked out, "Some."
He moved a hand down to his side and ghosted over the area where he had been shot. It was like he wanted to touch it, but was too afraid of what might happen if he did. He gingerly moved in his chair, grimacing slightly, and let out a shuddering breath.
He was not looking good at all and she made a decision then. "Come on," she said and stood up. She held out her hand and looked at Chuck expectantly. Chuck slipped his hand into hers and she was surprised at how warm and moist his skin was. That was not a very good sign. She probably needed to find Devon. He had said that right now, a fever was Chuck's biggest concern.
She leaned forward and helped pull Chuck carefully out of his chair. Any sudden movement might pull his stitches and she knew how bad that would be.
"What are you doing?" Chuck asked. "You're not going to take me into a dark corner and kill me, are you?"
She immediately stopped the gentle pulling motion of her hand and spun around to glare at Chuck. That was not funny. "You don't really think that I would do that, do you?" she asked worriedly. He didn't really believe that. He couldn't. Even if it turned out that he had been lying to her about everything since day one, she didn't think she could actually hurt him. Leave, sure, and never look back, but actually hurt Chuck? That ship had sailed a long time ago.
Chuck instantly took a step forward, placing one hand on her hip in an entirely far too intimate a gesture for their current level of familiarity, and yet the presence of his warm hand on her hip burned through her clothes and caused her whole body to flush with heat. She had to look away so he wouldn't see how his proximity and touch was affecting her. His other hand settled on her arm and he stood far too close. She was supposed to be mad at him and yet all she wanted to do was pull him even closer. This was her problem; she wasn't entirely sure that she could resist Chuck even if he was a duplicitous asshole.
"Sarah," he said hoarsely. "You know I don't believe that. I've never believed that." Now it was his turn to make a soothing motion on her arm. "I've always believed in you."
"That's because you're an idiot," she said. There was no venom in her voice, just quiet exasperation.
"That may be, but…" Chuck trailed off and smiled at her. It even reached his eyes, temporarily displacing the pain that had been there only seconds ago. "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."
She scrunched her face up in confusion and unconsciously took a step closer. Chuck's warm breath kissed her cheek and she looked up into his dark brown eyes. She found herself holding her breath, and every few seconds she had to remind herself to breathe. "What are you saying, Chuck?" she whispered.
"All I'm saying is that with you, I know exactly what I'm doing."
Whatever spell that had descended over her with Chuck's close proximity dissipated with his words.
Sarah sighed and wished that the situation was different, that she still didn't need answers, and that she still wasn't sure Chuck could be trusted, because she seriously wanted to take him into one of Castle's dormitory suites and…she couldn't stop herself from flushing at the thoughts that suddenly popped into her head.
She shook her head slightly to clear her jumbled thoughts and made herself put some distance between the two of them. "That's kind of the problem though, isn't it? With me, you know exactly what you're doing."
"Now I think it's my turn to ask what you're saying."
Sarah poked Chuck in the chest gently. "You know exactly what to say to me, how to act, to get me to do what you want. You have since day one."
"That's my job," Chuck admitted.
"Well, I hate it and I thought you said you were going to stop it."
"Sarah, there really are some things that I just can't tell you right now, but I swear to you that everything I do is done with your best interest in mind."
"And what, I'm just supposed to trust that that's true?"
"Yes."
Sarah shook her head and took a step back until she was leaning against the conference table. "I'm sorry, Chuck, but I can't do that. I'm not wired that way."
Chuck sighed and closed his eyes. He swayed a bit in place and said, "I know."
"You need to tell me what's going on right now."
"Give me 72 hours, and I will tell you everything."
Sarah stared hard at Chuck, trying to detect any sign or tell that he was not on the level. With his eyes closed and his breathing labored, it was a bit difficult to pick up on any subtle hints, but something inside of her railed against her natural suspicion and cautiousness. It wanted her to trust him, to listen to him, to give him the benefit of the doubt. It demanded she give Chuck whatever he wanted. She had to ruthlessly squash that voice, that emerging part of her psyche that had so long been abandoned, in order not to leap into the situation blindly.
"Please, Sarah," Chuck pleaded. His eyes opened and he slowly walked toward her. He held his hands out to his side, like he was approaching a wild animal. "Look, the sooner you agree to give me those 72 hours, the sooner I can answer all your questions, and the sooner you'll be free of all the lies and half-truths to live your life however you want, on your terms, with whomever you choose."
Sarah blinked and tried to move further away from Chuck but couldn't. He was suckering her in, she knew that. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you can have everything you've always said you wanted."
She couldn't help but read his words as meaning that she could have him if she wanted. Which she knew was undoubtedly his intention. Unfortunately, it was working. That was what she wanted. She didn't care about the spy life, didn't care about the adventure—hell, she hadn't seen any "adventure" in years, didn't even remember what it was like—or the thrill of serving the greater good and saving lives. She was over that, had been over that for a long time. She just wanted a life; she wasn't particularly picky at this point in time what kind, as long as it was hers.
"72 hours?"
Chuck nodded his head.
"Why can't you tell me now? What does it matter if it's now or later?"
Chuck ran a still trembling hand tiredly across his face. "It just does."
Sarah pushed down the feelings of frustration his non-answer gave her and forced herself to grit out, "Then you'll tell me everything? About the Intersect, Carina, you?"
Chuck looked so relieved at her acquiescence that he gave her a blinding smile. She couldn't help it, her heart beat a little faster and she felt her face flush and she had to look away. Damn him and his smile.
"Cross my heart," Chuck said and made the subsequent motion over his chest.
Sarah stepped up to Chuck and grabbed his upper arm in a vice grip. She pulled him closer to her and pressed her knee into Chuck's crotch. Under other circumstances, her move might have been intimate and alluring, especially as she felt the hem of her skirt slide to mid-thigh, but Chuck's eyes immediately closed, not in pleasure but in pain, and he winced. She increased the pressure slightly, watching his face further contort in discomfort, and lowered her voice to a threatening growl. "I swear to God, Chuck Bartowski, if you are playing me and break this promise, you really will hope to die."
It was an empty threat, of course, but Chuck didn't need to know that.
Thankfully, if his reaction was any indication, he did not. His eyes burst open to almost comically wide size, his forehead looked moist, and his jaw was tense. He withered under her intense gaze. He was nothing like the normally confident man who had first introduced himself to her in her cell all those many months ago. For maybe the first time, there was genuine fear in his eyes. It was a little surprising, but she took solace in the fact that she had finally managed to find a chink in his armor.
She let him go and backed away, giving him his space. She had made her point. She only hoped he would follow through. If he screwed her this time, she was gone.
"I finally see it now," Chuck said.
"See what?"
"How scary you are," he said with a shaky grin.
Sarah smirked and smoothed her clothes. "Don't worry, Chuck, I promise to only get rough with you when you ask for it." Then she winked at him.
Chuck blushed then and fumbled for a chair, which he sat down in heavily. "Oh boy." He looked up at her, hand wiping across his forehead. "I think you may be too much for me, Sarah Walker."
She snorted in dry amusement and sat down in a chair right beside him. "You seem to handle Carina just fine."
Chuck laughed nervously and looked over his shoulder in the direction Carina had disappeared in. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't exactly 'handle' Carina." He turned back to look at her and shrugged his shoulders. "I mostly just buckle my seatbelt and hope I end up wherever we're going in one piece."
"I've noticed," Sarah said drily.
Chuck sighed and placed his hand on her shoulder. She immediately tensed up, but made herself relax and enjoy Chuck's touch. His fingers lightly caressed the skin of her neck, and she found herself leaning closer to him. "I'm really sorry for that, by the way," Chuck said. "I really wish you hadn't seen it, but then if you hadn't been there, it probably wouldn't have happened."
"Did you enjoy it," she asked. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her question, but she needed to know where she stood with Chuck.
Chuck grimaced and his fingers stilled. He sucked in a breath and then deflated. "It was…pleasant."
Sarah relaxed fully and actually smiled at Chuck. "Just pleasant?" Her eyes crinkled in amusement and she started to imagine all the different ways she could rub this news in Carina's face. "Oh she is going to love it when I tell her that kiss was 'just pleasant'."
"Must you? Can't you just let it go?"
Sarah's amusement disappeared instantly and she growled out, "No."
Chuck slumped into his chair and his chin rested on his chest. "You two are never going to stop until one of you is dead, aren't you?"
Like hell she was ever going to stop. Carina needed to understand that Chuck was not up for grabs. He was hers. She'd been through Hell the last few months and she considered Chuck her reward for surviving. Well, reward was probably the wrong word for Chuck. She had feelings for Chuck, he wasn't just a prize to attain, an achievement to lord over Carina's head. No, she had real feelings, feelings she'd never felt before. She didn't understand them, didn't know how to make them go away or even if she wanted them to go away. All she knew was that they were there, they confused and infuriated and warmed her, and she wanted to explore them to their fullest.
Perhaps it was time she made it obvious to everyone involved just where she stood. Not that it wasn't fairly obvious already, but a definitive statement, especially to Chuck, would probably go a long way toward clearing up any potential confusion. After all, if Chuck really understood her feelings and actually reciprocated like he claimed, he wouldn't be letting Carina stick her tongue down his throat. She needed to let Chuck know she wouldn't put up with any more random encounters with other women.
It'd been a long time since she had anything approaching an exclusive arrangement with somebody; she wasn't even sure how it worked. She didn't exactly hold relationships, or even personal sexual relationships, in high esteem. What brief experience she had with them had always left her unfulfilled and wanting. And it had been far too long since sex held any real meaning for her. But when she looked at Chuck, when she thought of Chuck, he brought a smile to her face and she felt many of those long dormant, long thought dead, feelings awaken. They gave her a sense of excitement and euphoria she couldn't describe. She wanted more of those feelings, wanted to feel them all the time, and she knew that Chuck was the way to discovering that part of herself.
It was time he knew too.
"Oh I'll stop," Sarah said with a thin-lipped smile and took a deep breath. Here went nothing: "As soon as she acknowledges that you're mine and gives up, we will no longer have a problem."
Chuck smirked, his eyes temporarily displacing their omnipresent pain with mirth. "I'm yours, huh?"
Sarah nodded her head silently, not trusting herself to say anything at the moment, and stood up, pleased that her little confession had gone so smoothly. She grabbed his hand again and helped him out of his chair. She re-started her attempt to direct him to one of the dormitory suites.
After several seconds of silent, but slow, walking, Sarah finally said, "We need to get you to bed." She honestly was impressed by how he had been handling himself since getting shot. Even now, when she knew that the painkillers must have long worn off, he was still coherent, in control, and functional.
Chuck arched an eyebrow and gave her a lopsided grin. "Now, Sarah, I'm not that kind of boy. I mean, we haven't even been on a date yet."
Sarah rolled her eyes but couldn't stop herself from smiling. "You need rest, Chuck. You've been awake non-stop since Devon woke you up back at the house."
Chuck docilely followed her along, head down. "There's been no time to rest, too much to do. I really can't stop now," he said, but made no attempt to break free of her hold.
"Lucky for you, I'm a bit tired myself, so maybe we'll just nap together?"
Chuck came to a sudden halt, causing her to jerk backwards. "Can't, too much to do."
Sarah let go of Chuck's hand and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She just looked at Chuck, boring straight into his eyes. He avoided her piercing, unimpressed gaze and looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry, were you under the impression that you actually had a choice here?"
"Uh…"
"Because you don't. You're going to go into one of those rooms, you're going to lie down on one of those beds, and then you are going to sleep for at least two hours." Sarah grabbed Chuck's chin with a gentle grip and guided his head up so that he had no choice but to look at her. She tried to be stern but couldn't help the corners of her mouth turning upwards slightly. "I'm not exactly in an understanding mood right now since somebody decided to keep his mouth shut. So you will do what you're told, got it?"
"Yes, ma'am," Chuck mumbled.
"Good boy," Sarah said with a small smile. She slid her hand across Chuck's cheek, down to caress his neck briefly, which she noted with no small amount of satisfaction, caused him to shiver, and then trailed the tips of her fingers down the entire length of his arm before grabbing his wrist securely. She started walking again. "Now if you truly have something to do that must be done within the next two hours, tell me what it is and I'll take care of it for you. Otherwise, we are both going to get some rest."
"Together?" Chuck squeaked out, his eyes wide.
"What's a matter, Chuck, don't you want to sleep with me?" She wondered if she'd get the same reaction Carina had gotten when she'd asked Chuck the same exact question. She didn't know why she was suddenly in a teasing mood, especially after all the hemming and hawing Chuck had been doing and all the lying about the Intersect, but she couldn't help it, watching Chuck be out of sorts was fun. It was about time the tables were turned a bit.
"You're as bad as the other one," Chuck said with a roll of his eyes.
"Don't think you're not going to have to explain what's going on with her too."
"As if I could ever be that lucky," Chuck muttered under his breath. She pretended not to hear him and let it slide, but she did tighten her grip on his wrist.
# # # # #
Sarah helped Chuck into bed. She took off his shoes for him (he couldn't really sit up under his own power as the action would probably pull on his stitches), made sure he was comfortable, and then brushed some errant hair off his forehead. Chuck's eyes were closed and his breathing slightly erratic as she did her best to make him more comfortable.
It still worried her how clammy his skin was. She would have to find Devon after talking to Carina.
Well, Devon would probably have to look at Carina first, but then he could look at Chuck.
She started to move away but Chuck grabbed her arm before she could leave the bed. His eyes had remained closed the entire time and she was impressed by his situational awareness. It was the little things like that that had convinced her that Chuck was not as he seemed. "Wait, I thought you were going to join me?"
Sarah stared right at Chuck and deadpanned, "Oh. I guess I lied. Strange how that seems to happen a lot around here."
Chuck opened his eyes just to make a big show of rolling them at her. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but decided to just press his lips together into a firm line. Satisfied that she had nipped the issue of her sleeping arrangements in the bud, she stood up and straightened her clothing.
She tried to look as stern as possible. "Now remember, two hours at least. I will be checking on you too."
Chuck tried to sit up a bit but she simply glared at him and he resumed his previous supine position. Still, as she was rapidly starting to learn, Chuck was stubborn as hell. "But Sarah, I really do have a lot to take care of; stuff that needs to be done right away."
"I told you, I'd take care of the Casey stuff. Nothing else is too important that it can't wait." She pushed Chuck back down flat when he tried to sit up yet again. "Now please rest," she pleaded in exasperation.
Chuck sighed and seemed to finally accept that he had no choice but to do what she said. Finally. She was afraid she'd have to resort to more drastic measure if he kept fighting her. He relaxed into the bed and closed his eyes. "You promise you'll wake me up in two hours?" he asked.
"I promise," she said. She probably intended to wake him up in two hours, but she was not above letting him sleep longer. He obviously needed it and a little lie every now and then never hurt anybody.
"Okay," he said sleepily.
He fell asleep almost immediately.
# # # # #
She found Casey in the first place she looked: the Armory.
"Do you live here?" she asked with a smirk, arms crossed in front of her chest. She was leaning against the door frame, watching Casey clean an M4.
"Do you have to be so annoying?" Casey responded back, eyes never leaving the broken down weapon. His hands moved at a rapid pace, clearly acting more out of muscle memory than conscious thought. "This is my happy place and you are seriously harshing my calm, Walker."
She didn't need to see his face to know he was sporting an impressive scowl. She wouldn't let herself rise to Casey's bait. She knew he was annoyed just by her presence. She could simply sit quietly in the room, never making a sound, and Casey would still have a problem with her being nearby. But she was going to be working with the man for the foreseeable future and such animosity just wasn't conducive to a functional working environment. It was in her best interest to at least develop an amicable professional relationship, even if she did hate his guts.
She could fake it with the best of them. It certainly wouldn't be the first time she'd faked something with a man.
"I've got a message for you from Chuck," she said in an even tone.
Casey grunted and began to methodically reassemble the M4. "And why couldn't our newly appointed fearless leader deliver the message himself?"
"He needs his rest so I put him in one of the rooms and made him sleep."
Casey grunted in what sounded like approval. "Good." Casey finished assembling the M4 and then racked the slide back repeatedly. "Moron doesn't know how to take care of himself."
"That sounds suspiciously like concern to me," she said with a slight smile.
"Kid's no use to anyone dead," Casey said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Right." She didn't really believe Casey's indifference for a second.
Casey ran a shami over the gun, putting the finishing touches on the M4. "Well?"
Sarah blinked and remembered she had gone in search of Casey for a reason and it was not to engage him in small talk. "Oh, right, sorry." She took a breath and walked into the dim, metallic smelling room. She wanted to see Casey's face when she delivered the message. She had no idea what the message meant and hoped she might glean something from Casey's reaction.
"Chuck said to tell you that Operation Serenity was a go, whatever that means." Casey went very still, even his hands stopped working the P229 that he had just started cleaning. Unfortunately, his head was down so seeing his face was out.
Still, Casey's reaction was telling. Whatever was happening had to be big to cause Casey to have such a visible reaction.
"Did he say when?"
"He said tomorrow night."
Casey swore loudly and colorfully. "That stupid idiot," he added for good measure. "Did the dumbass give a reason?"
Sarah frowned; she really didn't like the implications behind Casey's words. Just what was Chuck getting himself into? "He told me to tell you when you got upset that he made a promise and he only had three days to do what he needed to do."
"Wonderful," Casey snarled. "He's already thinking with his mini-Chuck instead of what meager amount of intelligence he has when it comes to you."
"What is going on?" Sarah asked. "Chuck won't tell me anything and now you are freaking out." She let some of her frustration leak into her voice. "I just want to know what's happening."
Casey ignored her as always. "Look, Walker, if you care about Bartowski even a little, you will tell the idiot that whatever promise he made to you, it's okay if he breaks it."
"Why?"
"Because if he doesn't, he'll probably die and you'll be responsible." Then Casey got up from the table, swiftly policed his work station and started for the Armory exit.
"Hey," she shouted. "Where are you going?"
"To tell Larkin the timetable has been moved up and he needs to be prepared. If we're really going to do this now, he needs to be ready to go at any moment."
"Why won't anyone tell me what's going on?" Sarah asked the now empty room.
# # # # #
She had tried to follow Casey, asking him question after question, but he had simply ignored her and manhandled Larkin into one of the private offices, locking the door and preventing her from listening. Unable to get anything out of Casey, she went in search of the only other person who might know what was going on: Carina.
She had searched throughout the Castle facility for the elusive and annoying red head, but had been unable to find her. It was not until she decided to double back and check the second private office again out of frustration (it had been empty when she first began her search) that she found her target.
Surprisingly, the door was unlocked. Sucking in a deep breath, knowing that whatever happened in the next 10 minutes, it wouldn't be pleasant, she opened the door. She quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind her.
Carina was sitting at a desk, staring at the large video monitor in front of her, and appeared to be in deep thought. Or at least as deep as Carina was capable of, which Sarah didn't think was all that deep. The monitor was blank. Carina didn't show any awareness of her presence.
Sarah stood silent for several seconds, waiting for Carina to acknowledge her. When the red head did not, she mentally shrugged her shoulders and said firmly, "We need to talk."
"I have nothing to say to you," Carina said, her face still staring at the blank monitor.
"Fine, then you can just listen."
Carina made no outward sign that she was even paying attention, but she made no move to stop her from speaking either, so she took that as assent to continue.
"I am here because of Chuck," Sarah stated. She was still highly uncomfortable at voicing her true feelings in such a definitive manner, especially to someone like Carina, but she recognized that sometimes it was necessary to be unambiguous. "Without Chuck, I have no reason to stick around as I don't give a crap about your plan to infiltrate Fulcrum."
Carina snorted and continued to stare. "Not really caring right now."
Sarah was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with the red head that she couldn't tear her eyes away from the video monitor.
Sarah clenched her fists and had to take a step back after she had reflexively taken a step forward. The urge to launch herself at Carina and wrap her hands around the other woman's neck was difficult to battle down. Flashes of her smashing the bitch's face into her desk flitted across her thoughts. Only Carina could inspire such extremely violent fantasies.
"My point," Sarah said through clenched teeth, "is that you need me now. Without me, whatever plan you've got running doesn't work."
"Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," Sarah said confidently. She wasn't exactly sure if she was right, but right now, putting on as confident an air as possible was all that mattered.
"And what does any of this have to do with me?"
Sarah snorted and tried to relax. If she continued to tense up like she was, she'd have no choice but to do something, if for no other reason than to release the tension. "Don't play coy, Carina, it really doesn't suit you."
"Who's playing?"
"Are you really trying to tell me that you have no interest in Chuck at all?"
Carina chuckled and flicked her hair a bit, leaning on one elbow as she played with a file on the desk in front of her. "Oh I have plenty of interest in Chuck."
"And that's a problem."
"Chuck is my friend, Blondie. I'm watching out for him, protecting him. That's my interest."
"You expect me to believe that's your only motivation?" Sarah walked closer to Carina; she wanted to grab the other woman and shake her until Carina admitted the truth. It was obvious that the red head had real feelings for Chuck. Sarah just wanted Carina to admit it. They'd never find any kind of common ground until they laid all their cards on the table. "If that's true, then what was with the kiss earlier?"
Carina shrugged her shoulders. "I was hoping to piss you off."
"Well, it worked. I don't think Chuck was very happy with you either."
"He'll get over it. It's not like it's the first time I've sprung something like that on him."
"Well, whatever the reason for why you're doing it, it needs to stop. I know you have feelings for Chuck and so do I. But if you have any hope of ever completing your all important mission, you need to back off," Sarah said in a rush. She hated talking about things she really didn't understand, and talking about her emotions definitely qualified.
"So what you're saying, if I'm hearing you right, is that in order for you to cooperate, I need to leave Chuck alone?" Carina asked.
"That's exactly right," Sarah said definitively. She couldn't help adding, "See, I knew there was more to you than just being a slutty bitch."
Whoops. She probably shouldn't have let that thought slip out.
Carina only chuckled, though, and finally looked at her. "Sorry, Blondie, but I called dibs on Chuck long before your artificially enhanced," Carina paused just long enough to make sure Sarah knew what part of her body the red head was talking about before continuing on, "flat ass ever showed up."
"I do NOT have a flat ass," Sarah immediately defended, despite the voice in her head telling her to keep her mouth shut. She couldn't believe that this was what they were arguing about now, or how easily she always seemed to let herself get drawn in by Carina.
"Ah, but you don't deny a little extra up top, huh?" Carina said with a smirk. "I knew they looked a little too perfect."
"What?" Sarah spluttered. "No!" God damn it, she hated how easily Carina could make her flustered.
But as usual with Carina, the woman was already on a different train of thought. "Sorry, babe, but all's fair in love and war and this is both."
"I'm really trying to be nice right now, but you're not making it easy."
"Aw, poor baby," Carina cooed sarcastically. The red head turned in her chair and faced her. "You going to just cry about it or are you actually going to do something for once?" Carina stood up and walked right up to her, clearly taunting her.
Sarah desperately wanted to smack the smug look off of Carina's face, but she settled for clenching her fingers into white-knuckled fists. "Pretty sure the things I want to do to you would end up with me back in my cell or worse."
"Oooo, kinky," Carina smirked. "I'm sure Chuck wouldn't mind as long as we taped it."
"You're disgusting," Sarah snapped.
"Oh come off it. I've seen parts of your file. You've probably dropped more panties than any man here. Hell, Bryce is kind of a slut and you could still give him a run for his money."
"That was for the job," Sarah immediately defended, "not for me. I didn't do it because I liked it, I did it because I had to in order to complete my mission. That was all. None of that was for me," she repeated insistently.
God, the thought of Chuck truly finding out what she had really done in her past terrified her and the last thing she needed was Carina running off to him and blabbing in his ear about how terrible her past was, about the things she had done, about the people she had seduced and then left in a pool of their own blood.
Her hands on her hips, Carina's face transformed from her taunting smirk to coldly hostile. "It amazes me that Chuck could be interested in somebody that would literally spread her legs at the snap of a finger as long as it was 'for the job'," Carina sneered. "Do you not have any standards at all? I mean, some of the men that you let touch you…" Carina shuddered and looked sick. "You're nothing more than a government whore."
"You're a hypocrite," Sarah snapped. "You told me what you used to do in the DEA. And at least I don't have to fuck random men so that I can pretend they are the man I really want," Sarah responded back with. "Tell me, Carina, just how bad a lay were you that Chuck would rather go years without sex than give you another shot?"
Carina's reaction to Sarah's statement was immediate: a hard slap across the face.
Sarah brought a hand up to her right cheek and gingerly probed the area with her finger. She knew going for Carina's one big weakness would provoke a reaction and she got exactly what she wanted. She gave Carina a tight smile and said, "I was hoping you'd do that."
Then, before Carina could respond or even act, Sarah jabbed the other woman hard in the stomach. Carina doubled over slightly as air whooshed out of her mouth and Sarah sprung forward like a darting bee. She did not hit with the same force as she used to—she would have to make arrangements to start hitting the gym as soon as possible—but she hit hard enough.
Sarah closed the distance between herself and Carina and followed up her jab to Carina's stomach with a second jab to the woman's abdomen. Carina sagged, heading toward the floor, and Sarah grabbed her, swung the red head around, and shoved her against the nearest wall.
When Carina tried to lunge forward to go on the offensive, Sarah hit a glancing blow against Carina's jaw. It was enough to stun the woman and Sarah exploited Carina's disorientation to immobilize her and press her against the wall.
Sarah used her forearm to press down on Carina's throat mercilessly. Carina's eyes went wide and she started clawing at her arm, but Sarah simply leaned forward and increased the pressure.
She continued pressing down until she figured Carina had had enough. She leaned forward, most of her body pressed against Carina's and whispered in a tight voice, "I'm tired of fighting with you. Chuck doesn't want to be with you. Get over it."
Sarah removed her arm from Carina's throat and put both palms flat against the wall on either side of Carina's head. The red head swallowed repeatedly and sucked in big gulps of air. She tried to speak but nothing came out.
Finally, Carina said hoarsely, "Are you as turned on as I am right now?"
Sarah pushed away from Carina with a huff of frustration. "You're unbelievable!" she growled, throwing her hands up into the air. She started to pace, occasionally glaring at Carina nastily.
"What?" Carina said innocently. "It was just a simple question." And despite the fact that Carina was rubbing her throat gingerly, that her face was red and her breathing fast, the woman still had her trademark smirk firmly in place.
"I hate you," Sarah mumbled, too exasperated to give the words much heat.
"Jesus, a simple no would have sufficed," Carina said as she was straightening her clothes.
"Don't tell me you're disappointed," Sarah remarked.
Carina shrugged her shoulders and smiled enigmatically. "Eh…a little, but I'll live."
Sarah could only roll her eyes in response. "Don't think you can distract me from what we really need to talk about. We need to deal with this stuff between us once and for all and come to an understanding."
Carina still rubbed her throat absently but she no longer seemed to be in obvious pain. "Real simple, Blondie, you go away and leave Chuck alone. I'll even help you escape Beckman's claws."
"Wow, you're so generous," Sarah deadpanned.
"I know, aren't I?"
"I have a counterproposal."
"I'm listening."
"You stop fighting me and I'll stop fighting you. While on the clock, we work together, and when we're off, we go our separate ways."
Carina nodded her head slowly, like she was genuinely listening. "And?"
Sarah sighed and tried to ignore how much pain it caused her to say her next words. "And if you will back off pursuing Chuck and sabotaging me at every turn, I will concede that you have a special relationship with Chuck and not interfere in your friendship."
"Huh…"
"That's all you have to say? 'Huh?'" Sarah asked in angry disbelief.
"Unbunch, Blondie, I'm thinking."
"What is there to think about? This fighting is stupid. We can't keep doing it."
"At least not in front of the others," Carina agreed.
"Especially Chuck," Sarah said in acknowledgement.
"So what do you suggest?"
Sarah shrugged her shoulders and said offhandedly, "Look, if you're not interested in my deal, I guess we could always flip a coin."
"You'd leave Chuck up to a coin flip?"
Sarah rolled her eyes at Carina's stupid question. "Of course not, it was just a stupid joke."
"Boy, you really do have a shitty sense of humor," Carina remarked, a wry grin on her face. "Besides, flipping a coin is ridiculous. This situation obviously calls for rock-paper-scissors." Carina suddenly leaned forward, her arms outstretched, one hand clenched into a fist and resting in the palm of her other hand. "Best two out of three wins."
Sarah snorted and relaxed just a bit, some of the tension easing from the air between her and Carina. Changing the path of the conversation slightly, she said, "Back at the house, you seemed to accept things. What the hell happened?"
Carina shrugged her shoulders. "New assignment."
"What? Beckman ordered you to be a bitch?"
"Sorry, Walker, I'm afraid my bitchiness is hard-coded into my DNA."
"What's the assignment?" Sarah asked, not wanting to get side tracked. If Carina said that her new assignment was to seduce Chuck, she was going to scream. Then kill somebody; preferably Beckman.
"Beckman no longer trusts me to lead the project because my objectivity has been 'compromised'," Carina said with clear disdain and the liberal use of air quotes. She added a roll of her eyes for good measure. "Stupid bureaucratic nonsense, but whatever." Carina took a breath and then continued on, "So it was either accept a new duty assignment here, which would essentially be a demotion, or choose a transfer to some shithole like Uzbekistan while I 'cleared my head'," Carina sneered in contempt. "You can obviously see what I chose."
"That's all well and good, Carina, but what's the damn assignment?" Sarah was getting impatient with the red head's stalling.
Carina grinned wide. "I'm Chuck's new personal protection detail."
Sarah could feel her stomach drop out of her body and settle around her feet. She knew exactly what that meant. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"Sorry, Blondie, but I'm being completely straight with you on this one."
"That's fucking bullshit," Sarah snarled.
"What can I say?" Carina smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "I'll make sure to send you an e-vite for the house warming party."
"I can do that job just as well," Sarah protested.
Carina laughed. "If you think the General would trust you like that, you're crazy."
"Why? What's the big deal? Larkin is the one that's the Intersect."
"Chuck is important too," Carina said. It was all she said and the familiar feeling of frustration always cropped up when trying to get information out of Chuck or anyone else on his team arrived.
"Then who protects Bryce?"
"Bryce is an agent, he takes care of himself."
"And so is Chuck, so again, why does he get bodyguards?" Why wouldn't somebody just give her a freaking straight answer!?
"Chuck is a different kind of agent, and that's all you need to know right now, Walker," Carina said in an even tone.
"You know, that's what Chuck said. It's what Casey said. And now it's what you've said. But it's all just nonsense. How can I help, how can I do my job, if I don't know anything?"
Carina laughed, but the laugh was hollow and void of any real amusement. "Haven't you figured it out yet, Blondie?"
Some of the anger that she thought had dissipated since attacking Carina, coalesced back inside of her. Carina was mocking her and she was not in the mood to be mocked. "Figured out what?" she asked through clenched teeth.
"That you know nothing is precisely why you're here."
Next Chapter: Denial and Acceptance - Short chapter coming up. Only two scenes. One of them Charah. Should be fun.