My Girl Ch. 20 Nana's Funeral
(Claire's point of view)
I feel numb or I guess in shock. I had just seen Nana a few days ago. Nana had Sam, Emily, Taylor, Ressa, Becky, Robbie, and me over for dinner with her and Shannon. She mad a huge dinner for us and even made her special blueberry pie for dinner. She was the first person who hadn't tried to get me to talk about Quil. After dinner Emily, Nana, and I even went for a walk.
How can she be gone? She wasn't just my grandmother she was my friend. Another piece of my family has been taken. I use to imagine that my mom would've looked like her when I had my kids.
I've been so selfish lately. I hadn't even spoken to Emily in almost two weeks. After all Emily and Sam have done for me I've acted like a child. I could I be so full of myself. But Emily hasn't held any of it against me.
I am going to help everyone through this. I have to be there especially for Shannon. She is going to need us all the most. Becky came home from Settle where she and Robbie live now. Shannon is keeping to herself. Emily tells me not to worry Shannon's just like me she'll open up when she ready.
I heard the doorbell. Then I heard voices. I had just laid down on the couch. I was sure it was another neighbor bring us food. But then I felt him. I still couldn't hear him but I knew he was here. I always could feel when he was near I guess another sign of imprinting.
I sat up and saw Quil hugging Emily. She started to cry again and Quil whispered in her ear. Then I saw him hug Becky. Becky smiled a little and pointed towards me. Quil starred but went to where Shannon, Ressa, and Taylor were. He greeted the twins first and then Shannon. I saw Shannon grin a little at him.
Shannon grabbed his hand and brought him into the living room where I was still sitting on the couch. Quil cautiously made his way towards me. He stood right in front of me. I could tell how nervous he was. I bit my lip to not smile at him.
"Hello Claire I'm so sorry. I loved Sara very much she'll be missed." I smiled a little and nodded. Nana loved Quil too. She thought his appetite was great. She was always trying to feed him. When Quil and I came over the night of my 17th birthday Quil made dinner my Nana was so impressed with his cooking skills. She told me once that a man with a good appetite has a good heart.
I realized I hadn't spoken back to him. He was still starring at me. "Thank you Quil." I responded to him softly. He sat down beside me. I couldn't help but wish he would hug me. He was starring so hard it was like he could see through me. "You never have to thank me Claire." He said as he scooted closer to me. Then he grabbed and pulled me into a hug.
The tears all were unleashed. I was crying so hard I had made his shirt wet. But he just held me tighter. "No one should have to deal with as much heart ache as you and your family have." Quil whispered stroking my hair. I felt Quil's warm lips on my hair. "Sweetheart just let it all out. It's just you and me." He said soothing me. I cried so hard I almost choked.
Suddenly I jerked away I had almost forgotten what had happened. Quil looked like I had kicked him in the stomach when I jerked away. "Claire please honey let me be here for you and your family." Quil begged. I didn't say anything I couldn't. But I didn't tell him to leave either.
I should've told Quil to leave. I should stay away from him. He's been forced to love me and wait for me all these years. He should've been able to have a life. I'm sure he would've had a wife and kids by now. Poor Quil he got stuck with me. He deserves so much better.
I saw Quil in the kitchen warming up the casseroles. I wasn't shocked he was doing it. He made Emily take a nap. Jake and Nessie had came and gotten the twins and was taking them to stay with Sue and Charlie. They had tried to get Shannon to go to but she wanted to stay. Emily said to let her.
"Claire please come eat." Quil said concerned. I knew I had lost some weight in last couple of weeks. I figured at this point the least I could do was not worry anyone. I sat down at the table with everyone. Sam and Emily were unusually quite. They weren't even speaking to each other. Becky seemed to be the one leading the conversation. She was telling stories about when we were little and would stay the night here with Nana. Nana use to tell us about meeting Papaw. It sounded like a fairytale.
Quil served dessert. As soon as Quil handed Shannon hers she got up running from the room. Becky looked so confused. Quil explained that banana cake was Nana's favorite. We could all hear Shannon crying as she ran upstairs.
Quil shocked me by coming over and grabbing my hand. He pulled me out of my chair and said. "Come on let's go check on Shannon." "Okay." I said as he pulled me out of the room and toward the stairs. I opened Shannon's bedroom door. She was sitting on the floor in a ball crying. Quil looked at me. I walked over and sat next to Shannon. Quil joined us on the floor too. I wasn't sure what to say.
Shannon looked up and turned to Quil and asked him. "Do you believe in angels?" "Yes I do. I bet your Nana is one now." "Really?" She asked as her eyes brighten. "Really and I bet your Nana and your parents are watching over you and your sisters right now and they will forever." "You promise?" "I promise." Quil said as Emily appeared in the door way.
"Shannon baby you need to try and get some sleep." Emily said coming over to us. "Can Quil tuck me in?" She asked. Quil got up and then picked Shannon up and said. "Sure I can tug you in want me to read to you?" "Okay Quil." Quil read Shannon favorite book. When Quil was finished Claire looked up at him and asked. "Will you be here when I wake up?" He turned to look at me. I need him and so did Shannon. "Yes he'll be here." I said.
I watched Quil tug the covers around her. Sam, Emily, and Becky all came in and told her goodnight. Then she asked me to come over to her. I hurried to her side. "Good night Claire I love you." I smiled at my sweet innocent little sister. "I love you too baby sister sweet dreams." I stepped back and Quil stepped back next to her. He sat on the edge on the bed humming. Shannon closed her eyes. When she was finally asleep Quil kissed her forehead and got up.
"Quil can we talk please?" He looked unsure but nodded. Quil followed me outside to the porch swing. Quil patiently waited for me to talk. I finally gained some courage and said. "Quil I'm not ready to talk about imprinting." "It's okay Claire I understand you have much more important thing to deal with. Do you want me to leave?" He asked upset. "Honestly no I don't want you too. The truth is I need you." "Then I'll be here Claire." He said.
I knew I needed to say more but what could I say. "I need time to think about our relationship." I finally said. "You have it Claire take all the time you need." "Do you think for now we could just be friends?" I asked not wanting to hurt him anymore than I had already. "I will always be your friend sweetheart. No matter what happens whatever you need I'll be there." "I really need a hug." I admitted. He chuckled and said. "That is one thing I know I can do." He hugged me.
Nana's funeral was the longest experience of my life. She had planned the whole thing herself year ago. I sat with Shannon on one side and Quil on the other. Robbie had made it to the funeral too. My sister had announced her engagement just yesterday.
Yesterday had been a long bad day too. Not only were we dealing with Nana's death but there was a new vampire threat. I felt bad that Quil was staying with me and not fighting. But Jake and Quil both said if Quil fought instead of staying he would be distracted. I didn't want Quil to get hurt. All of the girls were at the funeral sitting together behind us. Nessie sat right behind me stroking my hair during the service. I couldn't believe how badly I had treated Nessie. And now she was here with me when Jake and her family were off fighting.
After the funeral service we went to the cemetery. He was raining so the preacher kept it short to my relief. Quil stuck to me like glue. But he didn't push me to talk or anything. Why does he have to be so damn prefect? Shannon has become his shadow these last couple of days. It was so strange when we went back to Nana's house Quil sat with Shannon. The worst part was I was getting jealous. I feel horrible for feeling that way but I do.
The day after the funeral we began packing Nana's house up. Quil helped Shannon pack her room. Shannon was really nervous about moving and changing schools. Shannon and Ressa had decided to share a room. I was a little surprised since Shannon is so shy. But she was thrilled to be sharing a room with her 12 year old cousin. Ressa seemed happy to share her room.
Shannon still seemed to be having a problem with Emily. She felt like Emily was forced to take her. I don't know why she thought that. Emily always wanted Shannon. She loves Shannon so much. I'm hoping once we get Shannon home and she sees it for herself it will help. Quil says to just give her time. He told me sometimes you can't see how much someone loves you until you feel it. I wasn't sure if we were talking about Emily and Shannon or him and I.
Author's Note: Ch. 21 is called What about Shannon? I'm working on it now and hope it have it up by Thursday or Friday at the latest. What happens in 21 leads to 22 which will be a big and important chapter. Anyway thank you all so much for reviewing it truly means a lot to me. Thank you, Cindy