I was being watched.

If it was any other day, I would be nervous about that. I had been rattled by the visit from James, and haunted at the thought of Victoria on the loose. But since I realized I was being watched for the fourth time in twenty minutes, it didn't scare me.

Well, not entirely.

I sighed, lifting my head from the doodle I was working on. My cast was covered in them by now. Just as I found her the last three times, Alice was watching me from behind a magazine. I almost never saw her eyes. She was a good spy—all of the Cullens were—but at this point, so was I.

"What?"

Alice jumped at the sound of my voice, looking embarrassed. It was a surprisingly human gesture. "Oh, it's nothing. Sorry."

A soft chuckle led my eyes to Edward; he was suddenly very interested in his newspaper. After a long two minutes of me staring daggers at his forehead, he sighed.

"At ease, Bella. She's trying to see the future, and she can't. Your condition . . . complicates things. Then she tries to see around you, but she can't do that either."

"Oh," I murmured, my gaze returning to the newest Cullen. "Well . . . why didn't you say so?"

Alice shrugged. "It seemed rude."

Rude. Not the term I would have chosen. I tried to imagine what she saw. A subjective future . . . misty . . . like smoke. People and places changing all around her. And me, a pocket of darkness in the lightly formed picture. I thought of my explosive time power and shook my head.

"Why do you think that is?"

Edward abruptly rose from the table and left. I could hear him tottering around in the kitchen. In an odd way, it was as if he was trying to give me and Alice some privacy. She took his vacant seat and smiled—almost shyly—as she explained.

"From what Edward tells me, your condition is nearly random. Outside of your control. Therefore, I can't see the decisions you make. No decisions, no future."

"Complicating things as usual," I muttered. It seemed like an ill omen. I picked up a pencil and started filling in the crossword Edward left behind. This thing runs but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks. Lacks arms, has hands; lacks a head but has a face. Nine down, five letters.

Clock.

"It's might change," she said, so quietly I almost missed it. "If a permanent decision was made."

I heard the front door slam. Alice looked guiltily in the direction of the noise, then grabbed her magazine. Before she was peering over it; now she couldn't stick her nose in far enough.

I didn't need her Sight to know something had shifted in the house, and I had a bad feeling it had everything to do with me.

A few weeks later, fed up with her faltering power, Alice made a decision of her own.

She had a new goal. Her mission was to find Victoria.

It seemed like an impossible task. The two had never met and Victoria was off the grid. But with a stroke of genius, Edward decided to draw her. The visual aid would guide Alice. Jasper decided to channel our emotions at the thought of Victoria. Both the visuals and the emotions would give Alice enough of an impression to find her.

I watched the page fill up with an overwhelming sense of dread. James was lethal; there was no question of that. He was complicit in many murders and a keen hunter. But Victoria seemed like the real enemy. Edward said one night that she had an odd talent—a gift—for evasion.

On that level, we were very similar. Our lives were nomadic. Transient. She probably was very like me as a human. We learned our lessons the hard way—on the street and in the elements.

I thought of her bared teeth and shivered. Something had gone terribly wrong in her transition to vampire. The thirst had driven her wild. The thirst for blood, and the desire to pay the world back for her lot in life. I prayed I would never be like that, when I . . .

Jasper turned his head toward me with a questioning look. I stopped that thought in its tracks, forcing myself to focus on Edward's careful sketching. It was a dangerous path to travel on, and I was not about to try.

"There," Edward said, after he laid down the pencil. He seemed oblivious to the disquiet between me and Jasper. He held the page up for our inspection.

It was her. Somehow he managed to bring the fire to life. Her eyes were slits, her nails in claws, her hair a mad tangle on her head. I covered my mouth to slow the wave of nausea that followed. Jasper sent soothing vibes in my direction in seconds. On the other side of the table, Alice began to look uncomfortable.

"Use what Bella feels," Jasper told her. "Her feelings and the picture. Tell me what you see."

"It's a hill," she said, her eyes far away. "A church on a hill. It's yellow, like the sun."

Edward began a new sketch at once, the pencil moving in quick, rapid strokes. The church she spoke of was lovely. The domes had unique designs and small, circular windows.

"Let me see," Jasper said in a hushed voice. He took the sketch and studied it. When he looked up, his eyes were cold. "She's in Mexico."

For a moment, no one spoke. Mexico seemed like a random location. Too hot and sunny for vampires. I suspected there was more to it, and I was right.

"La Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de los Remedios," he added. "It's a church in Puebla, Mexico. It sits atop Tlachihualtepetl, the Great Pyramid of Cholula."

Whatever conclusion he reached, Alice and Edward were already there. They looked thunderstruck.

I tried to understand what was going on. For whatever reason, Victoria was in Mexico, attending a church I couldn't even begin to pronounce. As far as I was concerned, she was thousands of miles away. But to them, she seemed ever more dangerous.

"She can't be meeting with her," Alice murmured. "Can she?"

"Seems that way," her mate replied. "But why Maria? Why not the Volturi?"

"She drew too much attention to herself in Portland," Edward said grimly. "If she reports back to the Volturi alone, they'll execute her."

"Who's Maria?"

"My maker," Jasper explained, smiling bitterly at my shocked face. "She carved out a territory for herself in Mexico and defends it viciously. The war's been going on for over a hundred years. The Volturi even had to intervene a few years ago."

"Isn't that a dumb plan?" I asked the group. "I mean, if she can't go to the Volturi, she runs headlong into a person on their shit list?"

Jasper shrugged. "She's not thinking clearly."

"Is there anyone you can talk to?" Edward asked, his hand moving to take mine. "Someone who can dissuade others from joining her?"

"I do have a few contacts in the area. I'll see what I can do."

Jasper left the room with Alice close behind. After they'd gone, I took the picture of Victoria and tore it up. Edward reached for me and I went to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

This used to feel like the only safe place in the world. Now, I felt like we were holding tight to brace for what was coming next.

As the weeks went on, Alice reported that Victoria had least five meetings with Maria. Thanks to Jasper's quick thinking, some old friends were notified of her plans. Peter and Charlotte became our eyes in Cholula. When they were confident she trusted them, they would spring the trap.

Everyone seemed on board with the idea. Everyone but me. If what Edward said about her gift was true, she would be paranoid. Suspicious. I feared the trap would spring too soon, and we'd lose her—again.

I shivered at my train of thought. Dreams of her began to keep me awake at night. Edward's arms around me were the only comfort I could find.

"This is disgusting," Edward commented from his seat on the counter. He had been watching me carve the pumpkin for the last twenty minutes. "Grotesque. Carving a smile on someone's face? How twisted."

I stopped cutting for a moment. "You never did this when you were young?"

"Not that I remember."

It was Halloween night. Carlisle and Esme were helping chaperone a haunted house at the church. The rest of the family was at a Halloween festival in town. That left me and Edward quite alone.

Me, Edward, and my mounting terror at Victoria. The Edward in 1962 warned me of approaching danger. Maybe I read the situation all wrong. Was James the danger, or was it his mate?

"It's tradition," I shrugged, returning to the task. "They're supposed to ward away things."

"Like what?"

"Ghosts and vampires."

"Well, you're out of luck there," he grinned, hopping off the counter. He helpfully dug through the drawers until he found a set of matches.

When the jack-o'-lantern was lit and the kitchen cleaned up, we sat watching the shadows flicker across the walls. I stared into the flames, remembering the fury in Victoria's eyes. If only I could summon my power again. But for it to be effective, she'd have to be close to me, and if she got that close . . . there was no hope for me at all.

We sat for so long I almost forgot he was there. When his lips brushed my neck, I shrieked.

"What's wrong?"

"Just jumpy, I guess."

He rubbed my arm, trying to comfort me. "Are you tired?"

I had to admit I was. He scooped me up like I weighed nothing and carried me up the stairs. If my dress was longer, it might have been like Gone with the Wind.

Minutes later I was cocooned in Edward's bed, his shirt was off, and his fingers were inching up my nightgown. A so-called innocent kiss had turned into a full blown makeout session.

Sometimes I couldn't believe it. In 1955, I couldn't get him to touch my boob. Now he seemed insatiable. I studied him for a moment, wondering what would happen when our timelines converged. Would he ever appear in 2005? Or would I spend the rest of my life wishing I was back in time?

"Are you all right?"

Edward was looking down at me in concern. "You're not going to disappear, are you?"

"No," I shook my head. "Sorry. I'm just distracted, I guess."

"What's on your mind?"

"Victoria."

His face darkened. Though he put on a good show of blasé, I could tell he was eager for the trap to close on her. Sometimes I wondered if he wanted to attack because she posed a serious threat, or because he hadn't been able to get James himself.

"She's not going to hurt you. Trust me."

"I do," I insisted. "But I can't just summon that power again! I don't know how. We have to go on the offensive."

"I agree."

"You do?"

"Of course," he nodded. "We'll hunt her down as soon as Peter and Charlotte give us the word."

I closed my eyes. I could picture it so easily. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper, chasing her fleeting form through valleys and mountain beds. But another scene flashed through my mind—me and Charlie in Port Angeles, unaware of the eyes that watched us from the shadows. The recognizable burst of light that signaled my departure. If she could evade us now, she could evade for months. Years, even. She could be with my dad at this very moment, counting on my absence . . .

"Your heart is racing," he said, pressing one cool hand over it. "What's the matter?"

"She could be anywhere, Edward," I fretted. "Even in my time! Right now!"

"What else can we do?"

"I could help you," I said quickly. "I could be like you. You could turn me."

I didn't realize how much I wanted that until I said it aloud. No longer would I be subject to the perils of time travel. My heart wouldn't beat again. My travels would come to an triumphant end. And even if they didn't, I'd be invincible. No more freezing nights or fleeing from pursuers. No more casts or stitches or hospitals. Most of all, no more time away from him.

Edward's eyes were stormy. "That's not the answer."

"Why not? It makes perfect sense! She couldn't catch me as a vampire. I'd be safe. Powerful. Plus I'd never be away from you anymore. Don't you want that?"

"Of course I do. But I won't do it with a sword hanging over our heads, I won't!"

The realization came crashing down around my ears. He was refusing to do it. Saying no. Shutting me down. The longer I stared, the less it made sense, and the angrier I became.

"Do you think I'm living some sort of high life, Edward? Do you think I'm traveling to exotic places?"

"No, of course not—"

"Of course not," I snapped. "I'm being beaten by vampires and leading innocent people to their deaths and missing out on my life at home. If you think I don't know agony, you have another thing coming."

His voice was colder than winter. "I won't forfeit your soul just for a glimpse of safety."

"My soul?"

A hollow laugh followed my words. In a time of true crisis, with life and death on the line, Edward was trying to be a martyr. Again. Still shaking my head, I threw the covers off me and went hunting for a shirt.

He sat watching me from the bed with sour expression. This would not be a fight easily won.

"Do you realize," I ground out, struggling to fasten the buttons with my good hand. "That I'm going to die someday?"

Through my anger, I could see the thought devastated him. He was good at repressing things, though, and worked to answer calmly. "Yes, I do."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Of course it does," Edward snarled, his eyes darkening. "Do you think it doesn't?"

I finished buttoning the shirt and reached for my robe. At my shrug, a growl rose in his throat.

"If I didn't exist, Bella, that's what would happen. I'm not going to kill you to save you."

"If anyone shouldn't exist, it's me," I snapped. "And if you didn't exist, James would have killed me a long time ago."

He couldn't argue with that. At his silence, I charged on.

"You already agreed to stay away from the Volturi if something happened to me. So you literally are deciding to be alone forever. What are you waiting for?"

A car door slammed outside. I tightened the belt on my robe and flounced out of the room.

It was cruel to play on his emotions like that. Already the guilt starting building, pressing down on my shoulders like dead weight. Though I hated to hurt him like that, to force an ultimatum, I was down to my last play. Between time travel and murderous vampires, I was so very tired of fearing for my life.

I knew I had to fight for what I wanted.

Rosalie in the kitchen admiring the jack-o'-lantern. The candle was burning low, casting shadows across her lovely face. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Trouble in paradise?"

I poured myself a glass of milk. "You could say that."

Her next words were drowned out by Emmett and Alice bursting into the kitchen. They wore capes and fake fangs complete with dripping blood. Rosalie deftly caught my glass as it skittered across the counter. I smiled weakly as they laughed.

"Were you scared?"

"Of course."

Out of the corner of my eye, I realized Edward had quietly joined us. He was leaning against the wall of the dining room, his expression impassive. I rolled my eyes at his sulking and turned back to Emmett.

"How was the festival?"

"My husband chased a group of children around the block," Rosalie said with an eye roll of her own. "Then took some of their candy apples."

"Hey, I got the candy apples for Bella. Those kids were being greedy."

I laughed at his rationale. Alice produced one of the candy apples from her purse and we transitioned to the living room for some television.

Jasper was reading in the armchair. I watched his eyes flicker between me and the doorway where Edward had followed. He recognized the disconnect immediately.

I pulled a pillow into my lap and hugged it. I decided that was my project for the night. I had to carefully monitor my feelings.

But to my annoyance, the creeping exhaustion seriously impeded my attempts. Every so often I would slip, giving into the heartache of Edward sitting so far from me. Of him ignoring me. That he would rather wait seventy years for my death than to live me in eternal youth. It was a miracle and then some that I was still alive today. But as I glanced back at the wide grin of the jack-o'-lantern, I wondered if my number was up.

"Bella?"

I looked up and clutched the pillow tightly. Drat. My concentration was broken. Edward was standing over me with his hands in his pockets. Behind him, Jasper shot me a guilty look. It seemed I wasn't the only one trying to hide something tonight.

"Yeah?"

"I'd like a word."

I dropped the pillow onto Rosalie's lap and followed him into the hallway. He waited for me to slip on a pair of boots and a jacket. He needed none of these things. When I was safely bundled, he led me down the driveway and a few blocks away from the house. I got the impression that he did not want to be overheard. When it appeared we were far enough, he spun to face me.

"I want to talk."

I leaned against a car parked behind us and folded my arms. "Shoot."

To my surprise he stepped forward. With the car at my back, there was nowhere to go.

"It's not that I don't want you to be a vampire," he said quietly. "I . . . I've wanted that for some time. It's just that I always wanted better for you. Better than this. Better than me."

My arms dropped to my sides. "There's no one better than you."

I thought I might start crying at the pure misery in his eyes. "Of course there is. I'm a vampire, Bella. I'm never going to be able to give you what a human man can. No security, no normal life, no . . no children. And when I talked about your soul . . . your soul is so beautiful, Bella. As beautiful as you are. I don't want to take it away."

It was a moment before I could speak. I lifted my good hand to stroke along the lines of his face and chin. If my soul was as beautiful as he saw me to be, wouldn't that be the same for him?

"Edward, I never wanted any of that," I told him. "I spend most of my days at home praying I'll come back to you. I never . . . I don't want to pass this condition onto a child. I've always wanted a normal life but it's never going to be normal."

"And your soul? Are you so willing to damn it to this life?"

I slung my arms around his waist and shrugged. "I don't see it as damnation. No offense, Edward, but you were raised on this fire and brimstone junk. My mom had her dalliances with religion, but I was christened under TV and alternative rock."

"Some would say those are equivalent to fire and brimstone."

"Maybe so. But I wouldn't see the change as an end to my life. It'd be the beginning of a new one."

Edward hadn't said yes, I realized as we walked back to the Cullen house. He hadn't said no, either. It was an impasse for now. But I had hope.

But time rolls on, I thought as I settled under the sheets. His arm slid around my waist like always, but things were different between us.

He'd let down some of his walls and I saw a real glimpse of his insecurities. He knew mine, of course, but now that I knew why he feared my change so much, I was sure I could convince him to take the plunge.

I didn't want just time with him.

I wanted eternity.

A/N: This actually came out to be longer than I thought! Lol. Happy New Year, everyone!

As promised, the next chapter will be posted on Friday. Thanks for your reviews, as always!