The Wisdom Seeker

by A. E. Giggle

SEQUEL TO THE SECRET KEEPER: Following Bella's magical revelation and their contribution at the Battle of Hogwarts, the Cullens set out on an educational journey a million miles away from the Highschool purgatory they've grown accustomed to. OOC/AU.

21. A Very Cullen Christmas

A/N: I'm warning you now, this chapter is ridiculously long. You may need to read it in bits. I would've split it up, but I didn't want to spend more than one on the fluffy Christmas activities. Here's the fun and games. Enjoy it whilst it lasts, because the one after will plunge us back into darker territory. Love you guys. Thanks for your support!

Twitter = twitter(dot)com/aegiggle1

BPOV

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly,

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Tis the season to be jolly,

Fa la la la la la la la la!"

I groaned loudly against the mattress as the song went into its third repeat, stuffing my pillow over my head to block out the lyrics. They must have heard the muffled thud as the fabric hit my head, because, maddeningly, they suddenly increased their volume, practically shouting out the words, though still managing to retain the beautiful bell-like quality to their voices.

"See the blazing Yule before us,

Fa la la la la la la la la!

Strike the harp and join the chorus,

Fa la la la la la la la la!"

"Not giving in," I muttered stubbornly, squeezing my eyes tighter shut. My window slid open not a second later, the volume of their chanting increasing further still as they surrounded my bed, only a few feet away now.

"Follow me in merry measure,

Fa la la la la la la la la!

While I tell of—"

"ALRIIIIIIIGHT!" I screamed, launching a pillow at Emmett's head. He easily snatched it out of the air, breaking into booming laughter at my outburst.

"You're finally going to get up?" he asked.

"Finally?" I thrust a finger at the clock on my bedside table. "It's six o'clock in the morning! I hadn't planned on getting up for another hour and a half at least!"

Not one of the four invading Cullens looked even the slightest bit remorseful. Their determination was written into their stances as they gazed down upon me, arms folded stubbornly, legs apart.

"Well, I'm sorry," Alice chirped, taking a step forward, "but that really doesn't work for us. Edward, Carlisle, and Esme refuse to let us open presents without you, so get up and get dressed."

Jasper flashed a mischievous grin. "Or we'll carry you there in your pjs."

Alice held her tongue. I would have thought she'd have argued at the preposterous idea of me entering the Cullen mansion in my holey sweats. Wow, she must really be impatient for her gifts. I flopped back down onto the bed out of sheer irritation.

"All this for presents? Bah!"

"Bella," Alice said, a warning in her tone.

"Oh, relax, would you? I'm getting up!"

My best friend clapped her hands together, and bounced on the spot.

"OK," said Rosalie, excited now too as she pushed her husband back towards my window, "we'll see you in about half an hour then. Don't take any longer than that."

Alice and Jasper followed after the pair, hopping silently out of the room.

Before they disappeared back to their house, Emmett's deep velvety voice carried up through the air, every musical note injected with festive cheer. "MERRY CHRISTMAS, SCROOGE!"

My eyes narrowed automatically. "Humbug!"

His booming laughter echoed back, before inevitably fading away into the distance.

With a sigh, and muttering something about 'mangey, blood-sucking degenerates', I crawled my way out of bed, grabbing my toiletry bag, before heading off to the bathroom to clean myself up. My hair was a haystack, but it was nothing that a little magic couldn't fix. I quickly splashed icy water onto my face, which went some way in helping to wake me properly. Once I'd seen to the tangled chaos framing my face, I hurried back to my room to change.

Alice, predictably, had left an outfit hanging from my wardrobe door, so her silence following Jazz's pyjama threat had definitely been a bluff. I hadn't noticed the black zip-down bag before. Attached to it was a note.

Bella, jeans and a t-shirt do not count as appropriate attire for Christmas day. Here's your outfit. You already have shoes to match. I know you'll understand.

Thinking it best to simply get the horror over with, I tugged down the zip with one swift pull. An inevitable, menacing hiss ensued as a mass of shiny red taffeta spilled out.

The dress was extravagant, the smooth strapless bodice bubbling out just above the waist, into a full skirt which cut off an inch or so from the knee. Around the waist line, there was a thick ribbon, which tied into a large bow at the back.

My pixie friend, realising that not all dresses came with a hidden pocket, had made me a belt to go under my clothes, from which dangled a tiny spherical pouch. Resigned, though far from happy, I tied the thing around my waist, slipping the Newton Ball into the bag, before changing into the outfit.

Then, of course, there was the matter of footwear. I knew precisely which shoes Alice had been referring to: the ones she'd bought me for my birthday. The ones that changed colour to synchronise with the rest of a person's clothes. The ones with the six-inch heel.

"Alice," I hissed again. Despite my indignation, however, I did as I was expected to, simply to avoid an earful later. The second the death traps were on, the material turned from black to a vivid scarlet.

My stomach dropped as I checked myself in the mirror. How was it that I felt plainer now that I was clothed in such luxurious fabric? Despite the paradox, it was the truth. It didn't seem right that the dress should have to put up with someone as unexceptional as me. If it had had a mouth like the sorting hat, it probably would've complained.

"S'pose I should make some effort," I muttered to myself, utterly self-conscious. It was Christmas Day after all. And so, completely out of character, I actually did the whole hair and cosmetics thing, though I kept it light—just a bit of mascara, a very thin layer of natural rose lipstick, and big loose curls. It didn't take long—a minute at the most—to magically make myself over.

Charlie was already dressed when I entered the kitchen, sat at the table sipping coffee. I examined his casual attire with mild jealousy. Why was he allowed to wear jeans and a t-shirt when I had to wear this? Oh, yeah, because he'd already promised to have Christmas dinner with Billy and Jake.

I bit my lip as I wondered whether I should contact my shape-shifting friend at some point during the holidays, or would that be wrong? Should I just leave him to get on with his life, even though I actually wanted to see him? Would he prefer it that way? Was it the right and more considerate thing to do?

A sudden cough from Charlie pulled me back from my deliberations.

"Wow, Bells" he said, taking in my dress, "you look good."

"I look like a Christmas bauble," I complained moodily, earning a confused look from my dad as I dropped two slices of bread into the toaster. "Alice dropped it off this morning. You know how she likes to make me up."

He nodded, chuckling into his mug. "Ah, yeah, I heard the singing. They're an impatient bunch, aren't they?"

"That's an understatement." Though I was still annoyed with the Cullen siblings for forcing me out of bed at an ungodly hour, I was intensely grateful that Charlie had accepted their odd quirks. He didn't even seem to care that they'd jumped into my room and had tortured me into wakefulness. Actually, he found the idea rather funny.

"It's a good job I was already up, though they only arrived a minute or so after I'd gotten out of bed."

"No doubt Alice timed it that way. She probably saw that you'd be less likely to protest if it was only me they were disturbing."

Charlie snorted. "Probably."

I rolled my eyes and went to retrieve my toast.

"You don't mind that I won't be eating dinner with you and the Cullens do you, Bells? It's just I—"

"I swear it's fine, Dad. Besides, you're still coming over later, right?" He'd promised Carlisle and Esme that he'd stop by for a drink. Whilst they'd be sipping something resembling red wine, Charlie would be sampling other less exotic things.

Once he'd reassured me that he wouldn't be bailing out, Charlie awkwardly handed me a badly wrapped gift. He'd gotten me an i-Pod.

"Sorry, I bought it before you got back. If I'd known then that you were into—"

I cut him off with a hug, throwing my arms clumsily around his neck. "I love it, Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely. I'll take it over to the Cullens' place. Edward has loads of music. I bet he'll be able to transfer it for me. Thank you."

I opened the gift from Renee then. She'd co-ordinated with Charlie as usual, and had bought me a speaker system for the musical contraption. It was a large thing—chunky and elliptical, with lots of chrome buttons, a bit like a nuclear warhead. My mom had also sent me a pair of thick, fluffy socks and a box of chocolates, like she did every year.

There were Christmas cards to open too, including ones from Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione. Harry, I learnt, was spending Christmas with the Weasley's. His god son, Teddy Lupin, was there too, along with a lady I'd never met before, named Andromeda Tonks.

He'd enclosed a picture of himself and the toddler. Teddy's hair was cyan and stuck up on end. He pressed his grubby little hands to my friend's cheek, who pulled silly faces in response, encouraging the boy's laughter. According to the card's message, the two had been practically inseparable since they'd arrived together at the Burrow.

...Ron has started calling me Dad, and keeps making cracks about being replaced. It's all fun though, since he enjoys spending time with Teddy as much as I do. Mr Weasley keeps trying to pull me away. He wants me to explain mobile phones, but says the magic around the Burrow causes too much interference. Don't know if I'll ever get around to it though. The kid is just too funny, so I always get distracted. Yesterday, he learned how to turn his nose into a pig snout...

Sure enough, the boy's nose in the photograph transformed, yet he still managed to somehow look adorable.

Once I'd said goodbye to Charlie, I went back upstairs to my room and arranged the cards on my desk, and pinned the picture to the notice board hanging above. Then, I collected the gifts I'd bought for my family of vampires, all of which I'd placed into a deceptively small stocking made of red velvet and white faux-fur trim.

After that, there was nothing further to do but disapparate from the house. I experienced the usual, nauseating pressure of the magical travelling process, before appearing seconds later on the Cullen porch.

Edward was there to open the door before I could even knock, looking like a modern day deity in mid-grey, pinstriped pants, a white shirt, and a skinny, silver tie. The massive grin he wore dropped off his face in an instant as he took in my appearance, eyes bugging wide whilst his mouth fell open ever so slightly.

"Hello," I breathed, blushing profusely under his inspection.

His eyes flew back to my face. "Merry Christmas," he replied, his grin returning.

"Merry Christmas."

He took my free hand in his and pulled me into the house. "You look divine. And you even come with a bow." He chuckled, having noticed the ribbon fastened around my waist. "Are you my Christmas gift?"

"Of course." Then, without thinking, I blurted, "I'll let you unwrap me later." My face turned scarlet instanly. Edward, on the other hand, looked just about ready to pounce. I could have sworn his irises, now golden after a recent hunting trip, darkened for a second, flashing with some intense emotion. Was it anger … or hunger?

After a moment, he settled back into a peaceful composure, and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"You know, it's probably a good thing that Charlie found out I have early twentieth century morals. It's one of the reasons why he's started to like me." He swung me round then so that I was facing him, encased by his strong, marble arms. "We wouldn't want to jeopardise that now, would we?"

If he was trying to sway me into agreement, he certainly went the wrong way about it: grazing his lips lightly against mine, whilst slowly tracing circles up and down my back.

A high, feminine cough from behind put an end to our embrace. Alice stood by an eight foot Christmas tree (decorated with cream, gold and bronze). She had her arms folded tightly over her ruby surplice dress, and was tapping the sole of her red stiletto against the soft carpet.

"OK, Alice," Edward sighed, "we're ready."

"Finally!" boomed Emmett. "I thought we'd be waiting forever!"

The Cullens, being the sleepless creatures that they were, had never had to wait to open presents before. They usually did their unwrapping at midnight. I suppose, therefore, their impatience was understandable, especially now that a whole other realm of gifts had been opened up to them.

Esme apologised on behalf of her sons and daughters for the early morning disturbance. She revealed that Edward had stayed behind because he didn't want Charlie to think him irresponsible and inconsiderate. Though he'd tried to dissuade his siblings from their course of action, in the end, it had been in vain, since there was no way for one vampire to restrain four others.

I sat with Edward on the love-seat as the Cullens lunged for the sea of neatly wrapped gifts spilling out from beneath the tree, desperately trying to stop the laughter threatening to ensue as they attacked the paper like four shredders, littering the floor around them.

Carlisle and Esme seemed content to wait until after their children had finished, neither attempting to wrestle their way into the mania. Instead, they sat on the adjacent couch, Esme perched on her husbands lap, whose arms encircled her waist.

"Here," I said, after pulling the right packages from my stocking, "I got these for you both."

The pair smiled brightly and accepted the presents, thanking me as they unhurriedly tore away the gold wrapping.

Esme examined the art set with a look of pleasure, carefully running her fingers over each instrument. Carlisle's expression, on the other hand, turned from confused to absolutely ecstatic in a heartbeat, as his eyes traced the words engraved along the rim of the magical magnifying glass.

"Is this … Does this … Is this what I think it is?" he questioned excitedly.

I nodded. "It translates everything, and I'd know, because I've tried it. I looked up the Dead Sea Scrolls on Google Images; Aramaic is no problem. I even ran it over a copy of The Lord of the Rings; Elvish isn't a problem either. It translates codes too, so, basically, anything with meaning."

Carlisle's grin grew to twice its size, and in the ensuing seconds, he seemed torn between the need to examine the magnifying glass more closely, and the desire to communicate his appreciation. Being the perfect gentleman, however, his manners won out, and I received from him and his wife a tight, loving hug, immediately after which, the vampire doctor whizzed away to retrieve an ancient wizarding tome.

When he arrived back a minute or so later, he seated himself beside Esme and set about reading, quickly immersing himself in the text. Every now and then, he would utter words like 'fascinating', and 'incredible', meaning that my purchase had paid off.

Alice adored the petal bag and the extra accessories it contained. She held her hands out expectantly as I reached into the stocking, her smile manic as she waited for the gift she'd clearly already glimpsed. I had to cover my ears once I'd handed it over, for she expressed her joy with loud, high pitched squeals, insisting afterwards that there was hope for me yet.

Rosalie's reaction was a little more controlled than her sister's. She accepted the ring gratefully, her eyes hinting at a mixture of understanding, doubt, and hope as I told her it was a good luck charm. I deliberately refrained from mentioning its true intended purpose, because I didn't want to darken the atmosphere with talk of her inability to conceive a child.

"It's very pretty, Bella," she said sincerely, sliding the ring onto the index finger of her right hand. "And the rose is fitting. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I hope it works for you, I added silently.

Edward squeezed my hand in his. Though he couldn't have heard my thoughts, since I was still shielded, he clearly understood the meaning behind the gift.

Jasper almost managed to entirely conceal his disappointment after pulling the wrapping from the thick leather-bound book I'd bought him, but I caught the way his mouth turned down infinitesimally at the corners. Alice stood at his side, a subtle grin painted onto her face. I held my breath as her husband flipped past the cover, hoping the seer's confident demeanour meant I'd not messed up after all.

"Ay!" The Cullens fell still as the unfamiliar voice echoed through the room. "Who are you, soldier? Speak!"

Jasper's brow knitted together in confusion. "Jasper Hale, previously known as Jasper Whitlock."

From over his blond-haired brother's shoulder, Emmett's face appeared, eager, as he seemed to be, to investigate.

"It's a book of warlords, heroes, political leaders, and crazy despots," I explained, walking over to join the Empath.

On the two pages he was looking at, there was a portrait of a man in Classical armour. He was standing on a beach, holding a long sword in one hand, and a large, golden shield in the other. It was intricately designed, with lots of pictures carved into the surface. He also had an arrow protruding from his ankle, which kind of gave his identity away.

"You must be Achilles," I said with a smile.

The man in the portrait flushed a deep red, gritting his teeth in anger, before he bellowed, "Achilleus! It's pronounced Achilleus! Not Achilles! Achilles is the Roman version, and I happen to be Greek! Get it right!"

He pointed to the opposite page with his sword, where there were a few paragraphs of relevant information describing the life of the ancient warrior. Sure enough, the header read: Swift-footed Achilleus, son of Peleus, more commonly referred to as Achilles.

"It says here that you were a proud and angry king with a tendency to take things too far."

Achilleus' eyes flared with rage, and I soon regretted my statement, for I was subjected to a string of verbal abuse and derogatory comments. Edward growled viciously in response, flying forwards to snap the book shut.

"Well, that's the first time anyone's ever called me that," I said in shock. "I guess this means you're going to have to be polite to the portraits, Jasper, or they might be a bit uncooperative."

He nodded in agreement, awestruck as he flipped the book open to Winston Churchill.

Mr Churchill was much more pleasant than the Homeric warrior, and quickly plunged his new owner into an intriguing discussion about the war, divulging scandalous details regarding certain 'Tories', as well as explaining what it felt like to govern a country during such a tragic period in history. Jasper, meanwhile, sat and listened with total fascination.

Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "Who would've thought?"

The burly vampire was more than happy with the present I'd bought him. As it turned out, when I'd paid a visit to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, my old friend had kind of been expecting me. The memory of that visit was bitter-sweet, laced with both happiness and pain. I closed my eyes as I took a moment to run over it once more.

Stepping into the shop, I was surprised by how similar it appeared to the first time I'd visited. I don't know what I'd been expecting—for it to have fallen into disrepair, perhaps? It just seemed so strange that it could survive without Fred. It seemed so strange that George himself could survive without Fred.

It was five minutes to closing time, and the place was practically empty, the customers filing out into the alley. Edward had left me so that I could make this visit alone. He knew how close I'd been with the twins, and this was sure to be an emotional encounter.

As I came to the table where the Portable Swamps were sat on display, I gently ran my finger tips along one of the packages, reminiscing over the occasions when I'd terrorised Dolores Umbridge with the twins and Lee Jordan.

"We had some good times with those, didn't we?"

I spun on the spot, startled at the voice. My old friend stood before me, garbed in a purple suit and a lime green tie, his hair messy and untamed, like something you'd expect to see on the head of a mad professor.

Without answering, I launched myself forwards and threw my arms around his neck, unaware of how tightly I was squeezing until he started choking from a lack of air.

"Sorry, George," I apologised, taking a step back.

"S'alright, Bellsy. Always knew you had a bit of a thing for me. Looks like I've still got it." We both laughed then, though it wasn't the easy, carefree type that once would have sounded when we were together. There was an undertone of sadness to this laughter, because it sounded incomplete, its echo missing.

"How's things?" I asked carefully, not wanting to upset him.

He sighed and moved closer, sliding onto the table, where he sat with his hands weaved together, as if in prayer. "It's hard, Bells. Really hard. I keep thinking that … maybe if we'd been a bit more independent from each other when he was still here, that this wouldn't be so difficult now."

My heart was in danger of shattering as George's eyes connected with mine, mine watering suddenly because his were.

"I feel like I've lost half of myself."

I nodded. "But you'll find him again … someday."

"That's what Harry said. He's got Ron and Ginny believing it too."

"He came back from the dead, George," I reminded him. "If there was ever any proof that there's something after, it's Harry. I believe him; so does Edward. You know he reads minds. He saw the place that Harry went to during that last fight."

George's eyes widened a little, a spark of hope and belief igniting there. "He did?"

"Yes."

For a minute, the two of us fell into silence. Then, suddenly, George wiped the moisture from his eyes with the back of his velvet sleeve, and hopped down from the table. Slowly, a grateful smile crept its way onto his face, and for the first time in what felt like years, I glimpsed a flash of his old self.

"In that case, I guess I'd better stop moping and convince you to buy something. Fred'll never forgive me if I have to tell him this place went bust."

"No, he won't," I agreed, grinning again. "Actually, he'll probably kick your butt for it and call you a snivelling prat."

"Ha! Bet you're right. Wonder what he's doing."

"Probably terrorising one of Filch's ancestors, at least until he has the real thing to mess with. That would be Fred's definition of heaven."

"And Filch's definition of Hell." A dreamy expression slowly slid onto George's face, his freckly cheeks flushing with warmth at what, to him, must've been a joyous notion.

After a few more minutes of discussing his beloved twin, and the antics he would surely be getting up to on some separate plain of existence, my friend excitedly pulled me towards the back of the shop, jabbering the entire way there about some new product he'd just developed.

"Well, after meeting the Cullens, I realised there was a whole new market to cater for! A tiny one, granted, but since I'm not producing this new line by the hundreds, I'm sure I'll be able to make a decent return.

"Had to contact Sanguini—that vamp who hangs around with Eldred Worple—you know, the author of Blood Brothers: My Life amongst the Vampires."

"They were at Slughorn's party," I remembered.

"Right. Anyways, Sanguini helped me test the products, so I was hoping you'd turn up, otherwise I wouldn't have anyone to sell them to, and it would've been a bit of a waste."

"Wait, wait, hold up," I protested, pulling George to a halt. "What are you going on about?"

He waved to the violet curtain before us, from which hung a sign labelled 'OFF LIMITS'. After throwing me the cheesiest grin imaginable, his eyebrows wiggling like hairy ginger worms, he flung back the drapes to reveal the restricted section of the store.

"Here it is," he said, skipping forwards to pick up a scarlet box.

I caught it as he threw it in my direction, my mind filling with the endless possibilities as I read the label. "Blood-Drinker Devilry Pack?"

"Trick candy designed specifically for vampires," George nodded, clearly proud with his latest achievement. "There's one type in there that will take away their strength for a couple of hours."

"How?" I gawked incredulously.

"Well, the magic doesn't actually affect their muscles. It just tells their brains to restrict the amount they use them. It's more a trick of the mind, similar to the sweet that completely removes their sense of balance."

He then went on to tell me about each product in the jokes kit. According to George, there was one sweet that prevented any vampire who ate it from speaking normally, forcing them to sing instead. There were fear sweets too—ones that provoked extreme paranoia. One of the pieces sent the eater into a lifelike daydream, exactly like the kind that would result from using a Weasley Patented Daydream Charm.

"Now, vampires are smart, and you can't just expect them to eat one of these of their own free will," George explained, "so whoever you give it to, make sure to tell them they'll probably have to force it into their victim's mouth. Once that's done though, the candy melts instantly into really sweet blood. It will be their first instinct to swallow."

After thanking my friend and paying for the Blood-Drinker Devilry Pack, I locked him in a fierce hug.

"Thanks, Bells," he murmured. "I'm really glad you came."

"Me too," I whispered.

Eventually, we released one another. I handed George a wrapped parcel filled with magic sweets. He, in return, gave me a free portable swamp (for old time's sake), along with a headless hat, insisting, when I protested, that he was feeling generous, and that if I wanted to repay him, all I had to do was use the hat to spook any enemy Muggles living in my area.

I agreed and hugged him one last time, before departing the shop.

I sighed as I remembered that meeting. Truly, it seemed so wrong seeing one twin without the other, but at least George was finally beginning to believe that it was more a case of 'see you later' than 'goodbye forever'. I was sure he'd be strong enough to get through the next hundred years or so, as long as he had that hope to cling to.

Emmett grinned evilly as he examined the jokes kit, his eyes darting from one vampire to another.

"There's no way you're getting me with that, Em," Edward warned, "so don't even bother trying."

"Not a chance, bro. You're going down!"

The three Cullen brothers disputed the matter further, whilst I opened my presents. I received everything from a whole new wardrobe of clothing, courtesy of Alice, to my very own set of Quidditch balls, all of which came nicely packaged in an oak case.

After the vampires had had their turn exchanging gifts, Carlisle invited Talto into the house. He brought with him, held in his beak, a small sprig of purple wildflowers, which he dropped into my lap upon landing.

"Aw, Tal," I said, touched, "they're lovely! Thank you."

He nibbled my ear affectionately, before taking off once more. I had to laugh—the womaniser had a tiny bouquet for each female, and proceeded to make the deliveries, after which, he landed on Rosalie's thigh, and spread his wings, whilst simultaneously puffing out his breast, thereby fully displaying of his plumage. His head turned from the blonde to her sister, then to Esme, before, finally, back to me, his big round eyes clearly intending to communicate the words 'come hither'.

Emmett cracked out laughing. "Looks like we've got some competition, men."

The other male vampires chuckled lowly, still smiling.

I extended my arm and shook my head, though, in all honesty, I was far from shocked. "Come here, Cassanova." Talto did as I requested and fluttered through the air, landing gracefully on my upheld limb. "You're such a lady killer, you know that? When are you going to stop philandering and settle down? Haven't you met any lady owls that have caught your fancy yet?"

The owl released a regretful hoot and shook his head.

"I wouldn't worry, Talto," Edward said. "All good things come to those who wait. I should know."

He winked at me and flashed his crooked smile, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"He's right," Esme cooed at the bird. "Besides, who could resist such a handsome owl like you?"

Her words earned her a hoot of appreciation and a nibble to her ear. I rolled my eyes; my owl was a smooth operator, and would be until the end. When he finally did decide to make a nest for himself, he'd problem end up building a crib big enough for a harem—a feathery harem!

For Christmas, the Cullens and I gave Talto a bag each of owl treats, much to his delight. He flew out of the mansion with Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie, as they zoomed off on their new Firebolts, all of which had been purchased for them by their parents. I quickly offered my Quaffle before they left. A bit of Quidditch would surely keep them occupied for an hour or so.

Now alone, Edward wove his fingers through mine and led me upstairs, into his room. I sat cross-legged on the bed as he flashed away to his wardrobe, where he told me he'd stored my gift. When he returned, he held a rather large box wrapped in silver paper.

"W-what is it?" I asked nervously.

He sat down across from me, and placed the package between us. "Open it and find out."

With trembling hands, I ripped away the wrapping, unveiling in the process a square wooden box, decorated with the image of an oriental dragon. My chest tightened as I undid the clasps holding it shut, so that I could hardly breathe when I finally lifted the lid.

I gasped aloud at the contents. "A pensieve? You …"

I wasn't sure why, but the sight of the round silver bowl put a lump in my throat and brought moisture to my eyes.

"I know how much you don't want to forget your human memories," Edward murmured, his voice low and deep. "If we made copies of all the ones you want to keep before I change you, you won't have to."

My tears spilled over the edges at his words, and the need to hold him suddenly became too overwhelming and unbearable to ignore. I urgently pushed myself forwards, and was struck by a surge of relief as my arms shot around his neck, pulling his face to mine. Our kiss was neither entirely sweet, nor entirely passionate; it was a tangled mixture of the two, fierce and hungry one minute, then slow and tender the next.

"Thank you," I murmured against his icy skin.

He smiled, caressing my cheek with his hand. "Do you like it?"

"I love it. My memories, especially the ones involving you, are the most precious things I own. Now I get to keep them."

"I'm glad," Edward said, his radiant face suddenly jubilant. "Do you want to test it out?"

I laughed at his enthusiasm and nodded, but stopped him as he made to remove the pensieve from its velvet lined box. "First, I have something to give you too."

He bit his lip nervously. The sight did strange things to my insides, warmth flickering like an ember in my belly.

"You didn't spend a lot did you?"

"You sound like me," I pointed out.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, unlike you, for the past century, I've had a psychic on hand to help me play the stock markets."

"That's not the point."

"What is the point?"

"The point is it's Christmas—the season for giving." Reaching into the stocking, I pulled out the last present, and passed it to my vampire fiancé.

He pulled me down so that I was lying with him against the comforter, my head resting on his shoulder. After removing the wrapping from the casing, he opened the box and pulled out the wristband, removing with it the five accompanying mirrors.

The band itself was about two and a half inches wide and made from black leather. The buckle was made from platinum, thus matching the square relief fixed onto the band. At first sight, anyone would assume the relief to be merely for decorative purposes. Engraved into the shiny metal was the outline of the all-seeing eye—the same insignia found on the US dollar. On two of its sides, however, similar to the little knobs you'd find on a wind up watch, were two tiny, circular dials, both embedded with a diamond, indicating a hidden purpose.

My fingers found the catch on the edge of the square centrepiece, and I pulled it open to reveal an inside mirror.

"It's a spying band," I stated, my voice seeming to echo. "You place the mirrors anywhere in the world that you want to keep an eye on, and then you twist the dial—this one on the right—to switch between views."

Throughout my explanation, Edward's expression gradually became more and more amused, though I discerned an undercurrent of some deeper emotion.

"So let's say I wanted to keep an eye on a certain someone whilst I was away," he hinted, "to make sure they were safe."

I grinned, glad that he was getting it. "Well, in that case, you could always place one of your mirrors on this someone's bedside table, or somewhere else he or she would be likely to spend their time."

"And you can hear sounds through these mirrors?" he guessed.

I nodded. "The dial on the left is for volume. Me and Charlie tried it out. Charlie stood in the garden singing Springsteen songs into one of the mirrors, and I stood in the living room with the wristband and the TV at full volume, turning the left dial until I couldn't hear the baseball commentary any more."

Edward's crooked grin was dazzling as he wrapped the band around his wrist.

"I know you worry," I murmured. My stomach felt as if it had become the home to dozens of butterflies. The spying band itself had cost me a pretty penny, so I desperately hoped that Edward would like it.

"Yes, I do," he admitted softly, kissing my nose. "When we're apart, no matter what I'm doing, there's always some section of my brain wondering whether or not you're safe." He flashed the platinum relief at me then and grinned. "You have no idea what this will do for my peace of mind. I only wish I'd known about spying bands earlier. I could've saved myself a lot of stress.

"Thank you," he purred silkily, his lips only and inch from mine now, "truly … for everything."

"Y-you're … you're welcome," I breathed, almost too dazzled to respond. Just as I was about to close the tiny distance separating us, something flat and cold slid into my palm. I looked down to see one of the square mirrors resting in my hand.

"That one's for when you go out," Edward smirked. "Keep it in your purse or something. Then, no matter where you go, I'll know you're safe."

"Alright," I agreed, "but you do know you can put these mirrors in other places, right? Anywhere in the world you want to keep watch over."

"I know, but honestly, Bella, I'd rather just look at you." And before I could comment, his lips silenced mine, and, well … that was that.

---

EPOV

"What memory is this?" I asked, barely able to contain my excitement as a new world formed around us. So far, Bella had shown me the visit from McGonagall that had opened her eyes to the magical world, her first trip to Diagon Alley, and the first time she'd played against Slytherin. It was fascinating to be able to watch her development, so much so that I felt slightly guilty—I was taking just as much pleasure from the pensieve as she was.

"Wait and see," she smirked mischievously, giggling shortly afterwards.

We were standing in a long, dark corridor, the familiar architecture making the place instantly recognisable. Moonlight shining through the panels of the large arched windows provided the only illumination, casting an eerie, silver glow throughout the Hogwarts passage.

"Coast's clear," someone whispered behind us.

I turned to see four figures, all clothed from head to toe in black. Balaclavas concealed their faces, so that their eyes were the only visible part of their bodies. I found Bella's beautiful chocolate ones immediately. The body shape of her accomplices told me that she was the only female amongst them, meaning that the others were probably Lee Jordan and the twins, since they had been her closest friends at one time.

They ran from one end of the corridor to the other, merging with the shadows, sometimes almost impossible to see in their black attire. Experiencing darkness again through a human memory felt incredibly strange after so many years of being a vampire. It frustrated me completely that I couldn't make out all the details.

"Don't let it spill," a male voice hissed, either Fred's or George's.

Don't let what spill? I strained my eyes for clearer vision.

"Is that a cauldron?" I asked. Voracious intrigue blazed through my mind as I made out a small rounded shape, the sight coupled with the sound of sloshing liquid.

"Might be," Bella answered enigmatically. She must have sensed the irritation her unforthcoming attitude inspired, because a furtive smirk flashed across her face. My eyes narrowed with suspicion, but I didn't press the issue, for I would surely receive my answers as the promising and potentially humorous memory neared its conclusion.

The infamous group ahead plunged deeper into the castle, darting stealthily this way and that, quietly so as not to wake the sleeping figures in the portraits, until they came to a tapestry concealing a hidden staircase. The softer, more feminine figure of the four pulled it back without hesitation.

I inhaled sharply as my eyes were met with a looming shadow, one barring the way of my lovable miscreant. Upon distinguishing the orange bow-tie and bell covered hat, however, the coil in my stomach relaxed.

"Hi, Peeves."

The poltergeist spun in mid-air, greeting the girl with a whispered song. "Izzy-Bell, wish you well, give that ugly bat some hell!"

"Thanks," the witch replied. "Are you ready to help us out?"

With a series of energetic nods, Peeves pledged his allegiance.

"You planned this rendezvous," I guessed as Peeves dove away, leading the group down from the fourth floor.

"Of course," Bella confirmed, with a tone that suggested she found my uncertainty mildly offensive.

My eyes rolled automatically and I swept back the tapestry, holding it aside as I waited for her to pass. She'd accepted my unrelenting chivalrous habits long ago, and moved without question.

After exiting the secret staircase, the poltergeist silently guided us down a series of twisting passages, occasionally zooming ahead to sneak a peak around each corner, thereby ensuring that the students wouldn't encounter any wandering teachers. Finally, after three minutes of safe and covert navigation, he pulled up in front of an office door, the one marking the home of the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

One twin took up a post at the far end of the corridor; Lee was already manning the other.

Bella grinned like a lunatic as her memory self extracted her wand from her pocket, and conjured a length of thick, yellow rope. Whilst the second twin supported the cauldron, she silently tied one end to its handle, and fastened the other to the door knob, before pointing her weapon at the cauldron itself and charming it into the air. It floated up until it rested directly over the doorway, ready to tip with the slightest pull.

The girl made hand gestures to the mystery twin, calling him back, whilst her partner conjured a set of cymbals for the spectral, avid mischief-maker.

Peeves took them eagerly, and waited until his friends had raced around the corner at the end of the corridor, where Lee was on guard. Their eyes peaked out from the blackness as they gave the poltergeist the thumbs up.

SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!

"We want old Umbridge out!

Of that we have no doubt.

The stinking toad

Should hit the road,

And save herself a clout!

We want old Umbridge out …"

And so it went on … over and over again. Peeves didn't concern himself with keeping the cymbals' clashes in time with the song. The effect was a thunderous cacophony, one which quickly triggered the high protests of its intended target.

"PEEVES!" she shrieked from inside the office. "SHUT UP!"

The poltergeist ignored her and continued his discordant chanting, wearing a gleeful expression all the while.

Umbridge's plump silhouette appeared as she violently wrenched the door open, and stepped into the path of the spill. "I SAID—"

Her enraged orders morphed into shrill screams of horror as the pink potion spilled over her head and nightdress, the racket echoing through the halls like a siren. Peeves, meanwhile, discarded his brass instruments, and broke out into ecstatic applause, whilst the bunch at the end of the corridor laughed into their hands.

"Bingo!" whispered Lee.

Fury quickly overwhelmed the woman, her hands balling into fists and her lips curling back over her teeth. "YOU WRETCHED, DISPICABLE CREATURE!" she seethed. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Bella sighed beside me, staring on at the scene with dreamy eyes. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"What did you tip on her?"

There was a slight pause, in which time she continued to reminisce, thoroughly dazed. She quickly snapped out of it though, and turned her head into my chest, using my hard skin to muffle her giggles.

"Something colourful," she replied. Seeing my confusion, she then gestured to the florescent pink puddle pooled on the floor, and added, "Umbridge is a big fan of pink; that's magic dye. We were doing the old hag a favour."

Our eyes flicked to the memory Bella and her three accomplices then, whose faces suddenly disappeared out of view.

"Let's go," I urged, sweeping my beautiful and ingenious fiancée onto my back. We surged back through the second floor maze, shooting after the four Gryffindors as they travelled back up the concealed staircase.

The boys raced in front, younger Bella struggling to keep up. I kept pace with her, concerned for her welfare, though I still realised, of course, that there'd be nothing I'd be able do to help her should she encounter trouble. This was a memory after all.

The door leading out onto the Grand Staircase came into view as the group rounded the next corner. Bella was still struggling at the back and, predictably, after making it a third of the way down the hall, she tripped over her own feet, sending herself crashing head first to the floor. A squeak automatically escaped her lips as she collided with the solid ground, causing the boys, who were now fifteen metres in front, having failed to notice earlier the lead they'd gained, to halt and turn immediately.

One second later, Argus Filch came tearing out from the fourth floor bathroom, into the space separating Bella from the others. His eyes instantly zeroed in on the most vulnerable individual, lighting up like two bulbs on a Christmas tree, whilst his mouth pulled back into a triumphant sneer.

"I got you now, I have! You'll have holes in your hands by the time you've finished writing them lines!"

"Bella?" I probed, afraid now.

"Ssh," she soothed, kissing my cheek from behind. "Trust me."

And that's all she had to say to relax me completely.

The memory girl arranged herself into a cat-like crouch, snatching her wand back out from her pocket, her eyes narrowing with determination as she gazed upon her enemy. Filch seemed to sense what was about to happen, for his arms flew out on either side of him in his attempt to bar the way, legs spread as widely as possible.

A battle cry ripped the air as the witch pushed off from the ground, injecting every morsel of strength into her legs as they propelled her towards the beady eyed caretaker, whose pleasure melted suddenly into outright fear.

With only three metres separating her from a disastrous collision, Bella pointed her wand at the floor and cried, "Glacio!"

Twisting jets of sparkling white erupted from the tip, spilling across the floor before her to create a thin runway. I stared on proudly as the witch threw herself down onto the icy path, the cold line continuing to form as she slid beneath Filch's legs.

The boys cheered and hooted at the spectacle. They even had to run to catch up with her as she whizzed past, carried all the way to the end of the corridor by her strong momentum.

"Nice one, B!" called Lee, his voice only just audible over Filch's wild and incoherent barking.

Before the witch and wizards flitted out onto the Grand Staircase, one twin flung something back over his shoulder, aiming a spell at it as it spiralled through the air. The next few seconds unfolded almost lethargically, the energy seeming to have been sapped from time. The Weasley stamped box exploded as it hit the ground, projecting a wave of putrid green slime, mounds of moss, wiry grass, and creeping colourful weeds back through the passage.

The unfortunate caretaker got caught up in the middle of it all, no longer a threat as he was swallowed by the portable swamp.

"Terrific! Superb! Incredible!" I cheered a minute later, bounding through the portrait hole. I couldn't find enough praise to wrap my tongue around. I was too jazzed.

My wonder escalated as the laughing willowy girl before me pulled the black balaclava from her head, and shook out a fountain of uncoiling mahogany hair, her smiling face flushed from exertion.

A peaceful sigh escaped my lips as I took in the younger Bella. She wasn't quite 'woman' yet, her features still possessing that girlish youth, but that didn't make her any less mine.

"Mission accomplished!" the twins proclaimed together. After unveiling their faces, they gave one another a hi-five.

"God," Lee breathed in between cackles, "I can't wait to see that old bat in the morning!"

"Ditto," giggled Bella. "O, what fun we'll have!"

The present Bella hopped down off my back as Gryffindor common room faded around us, a new scene materialising instead. Now Bella sat amongst her peers in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, awaiting the arrival of the odious gargoyle who had spent so long terrorising the school.

A door at the back of the classroom flung open with a bang, and there stood Umbridge. I couldn't help doubling over at the sight of her.

She was garbed in what, according to Bella, was her typical attire: pink heels, a pink linen dress, and a pink tweed poncho. What made the image so satisfying was that the squat witch looked like she belonged to some sub-species of Umpa Lumpa, her skin florescent pink rather than orange … just like her curly hair, which stuck up in tufts, completely untamed, as if she'd just been dragged through a hedge.

Her lips were pinched tight as she marched through the aisle of desks, head held high in her efforts to ignore the muffled laughter, muted guffaws, and quiet sneering. Memory-Bella sat with her mouth pressed to her fists, her frame trembling as she tried to prevent her joy from bursting through the seams.

"Mr. Finnigan," Umbridge squawked unexpectedly, turning on her heels as she reached the front of the class, "would you please … explain to me … WHY YOU ARE CRYING?"

"I'm s—I'm s-s-s—so sorry, Professor," Seamus squeaked breathlessly, wiping tears from either cheek. "I ju—I just got something in my eye…"—even higher-pitched now—"and it really hurts."

The sound of the soprano dialogue triggered an unstoppable chain reaction; like a dam giving way under immense pressures, the control of the students came crashing down all at once, collapsing into uncontrollable howls of laughter and cackling pandemonium.

"ENOUGH!" shrieked Umbridge, her expression irate.

How satisfying it was to see this woman, the one responsible for so much misery, become the embodiment of fury and mortification. Her cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment, her nostrils flared widely like a bull's, and she stamped her foot loudly against the wooden floor. "SILENCE! ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!"

Even as the memory disintegrated around us, the sound of those cackles still rang in my ears.

Bella and I rocketed upwards together, shooting out of the Chinese pensieve and onto the plush, golden carpet. She stumbled at first, the shift into reality throwing her equilibrium. My hands shot out automatically, but she regained her balance before my assistance was necessary.

"Newton Ball," she said, noticing my surprise.

"Oh, right. That would explain it."

She rolled her eyes as she took a step closer. A delicious tingle rolled up my spine when she lightly brushed my back with her fingertips, provoking an involuntary shudder. It never ceased to amaze me that Bella had chosen me;nor would my wonder at being able to be so close to her without killing her ever diminish.

I pulled her closer, eager to enjoy the miracle, and was so consumed by the image of her face that I barely noticed the piercing shriek of horror interrupting the moment.

Something hard crashed into my side all of a sudden, the force so colossal that it sent me flying. My eyes took in every detail as I torpedoed through the air, but that didn't help me make any more sense of the scene. As I crashed through the glass wall, the whole thing shattering around me with the impact, the only thing I could wonder was why Alice's face was so overwhelmed with horror as she clutched my confused and terrified fiancée.

Had I been about to hurt her? That couldn't be right! I wouldn't …

Instinctively, I threw myself into every mind in the vicinity, the air still whistling around me as I plummeted down towards the river; so, therefore, before I plunged into the rushing current, my thoughts had progressed from mystified and frightened to flat-out irate, all in the space of what would have been a heartbeat.

My legs pushed of the riverbed with more force than that of a cement truck doing sixty, sending walls of water rolling onto both banks as I shot into the air.

"EMMETT!" I roared, "YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Laughter boomed from inside the house. My sniggering brother marched out shortly afterwards, flanked by a grinning Rosalie.

"Aw, Edward. You're all wet."

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!" I spat. "DID THAT EVEN CROSS YOUR IDIOTIC MIND?"

The only thing my anger did was to serve in fuelling my brother's amusement. He doubled over and barked out another round of laughter. "You can't blame me for that, bro. Alice tackled you; not me. She's the one with the fear."

My anger was too great to contain now; it needed an outlet. I lunged forwards with such speed that Emmett didn't have time to react. His eyes bulged as my clenched fist collided with his jaw, and, suddenly, he was the one that was being sent flying.

Bit of an over-reaction, Edward, Rosalie thought, rolling her eyes.

An over-reaction? I bet she wouldn't have been saying that if she'd had a human mate that had been charged by a mad, fear-stricken vampire. I ignored her anyway, and marched towards the house, glass crunching underfoot as I neared.

From the outside, I could see that half of the glass wall had been completely ruined, unable to withstand the disastrous force of the blow. Now wasn't the time to concern myself with that though. What worried me more was the fact that Alice had snatched Bella, who had absolutely no idea what was going on, from my room, and was now proceeding to stuff her into a clothes bag in her closet.

"What the hell are you—"

"Ssh, Bella!" Alice hushed in terrified whispers, clamping a hand over the girl's mouth. "You have to be quiet! We can't let him find you!"

In her irrational state, she obviously overlooked the fact that the concealment she'd provided wouldn't stop me from finding Bella, even if I hadn't been a mind-reader. To her though, it's main purpose was to keep Bella from me. I'd be easier to keep at bay if she didn't have to constantly worry about containing her captive.

Bella's eyes bulged as my sister pressed tape over her lips, sealing them shut. Alice then zipped up the clothes bag, ignoring the thrashing body inside.

I hissed, completely enraged as I whizzed through the living room. Carlisle and Esme were stood at the bottom of the staircase, staring up at Jasper with baffled expressions as he clutched the banister, his arms snaking around it, whilst his legs dangled limply behind him. In an attempt to stand up straight, he finally let go, but fell over almost immediately, and ended up rolling back down to the very bottom, so that he was splayed out at Carlisle and Esme's feet.

Their eyes snapped up to meet me, widening even more so as they took in my dripping clothes.

We were in the kitchen, Esme told me, preparing dinner for Bella, and then—

I interrupted her thoughts in my haste. "Emmett decided to use the jokes kit. It was a snap decision. Alice didn't have time to react. He forced the paranoia sweet on her, and then Rose helped him to get Jasper with the balance stealing one."

"And when it finally wears off," my blonde-haired brother broke in, his voice loaded with frustration, "you and I are going to make them sorry, Edward! I'm sure Alice will only be too happy to help."

"Definitely," I growled, "but, right now, I need to get her away from Bella."

Jasper nodded, trying to sit up. "Go easy on her though. This isn't her fault." Once I'd agreed, he looked to our parents, and said, "Would you mind carrying me over to the couch, please? I'll never get there on my own."

They acquiesced.

Just before I left, I saw Jasper reaching for the book Bella had bought him for Christmas. He quickly began flipping through the pages, searching for Hitler. When Carlisle asked him what he was doing, he explained that he needed to vent some anger. It was a relief that Bella didn't have vampire hearing; I wouldn't want her to have to listen to the obscene profanities that followed.

Alice was waiting for me as I turned off the staircase, standing ten metres away in the very middle of the corridor. Her body was leaning forwards ever so slightly, as if she were preparing for combat. Part of my brain swelled with affection for my little sister. It was endearing to see how deeply she cared for Bella, and the lengths she would go to to protect her.

"I'm not going to hurt her," I said gently, edging forwards.

"Stay back!" she warned.

My palms flew up in my efforts to reassure her. "It's OK, Alice, I promise."

"No it isn't, Edward. She's a human; you're a vampire. You'll kill her. You want her blood! I won't let you!"

I took another careful step forward. "Alice, I know you mean well, but what you're feeling right now—this fear—it isn't real. It's an effect of the candy."

I made to take another step, but Alice crouched defensively, her mouth ripping into a ferocious snarl.

"Ok, ok. Alright, I'm not coming any closer. Just calm down."

Not until you turn the hell around!

My brain flew over a hundred different tactics in those next few seconds, as I considered how best to deal with my insane leprechaun sister. Clearly, nothing was going to eradicate Alice's paranoia—the magic was just going to have to run its course—but there was no way I was planning on allowing Bella to spend the next few hours locked in a clothes bag. Perhaps, then, all I needed to do was to divert my sister's fear in another direction.

Somehow, I managed to suppress a grin as I next addressed the psychic vampire.

"Alice," I whispered, so low now that only she would be able to hear me, "Emmett and Rosalie are planning on stealing your new clothes."

She straightened up immediately, her expression horrified.

"They're going to come at you together, when you're guard is down."

"What? Why would they do that?" she whispered back. "Not my clothes!"

"They're trying to entertain themselves, and they think the best way to do this is by replacing all your designer outfits with … sweat pants—"

Alice's hands shot up over her mouth. She squeaked against her palms, her chest rising and falling like a human's would after a marathon.

"—and wife-beaters."

"No!" she screamed. "What do I do, Edward? What do I do?"

I smiled as she flitted to my side, grabbing desperately at my wet shirt. "Well, in this case, the best defence is a good offence. Disable them separately, whilst they're unsuspecting."

A deep satisfaction bubbled in my gut as I proceeded to suggest she attack Emmett first, since he was clearly the leader in this operation.

Now fully distracted, Alice nodded, and flew stealthily away, nothing but an inky blur. I wasted no time, whooshing forth into my sister's room, flinging back the doors to her walk-in wardrobe.

"Mmm! Hmm-m-hm!"

I pulled the zipper on the thrashing bag so forcefully that it broke off in my hands upon reaching the bottom. Wide chocolate eyes stared out at me from inside, and I quickly lifted out the frightened girl, tearing away the ropes the bound her hands and feet.

Thanks, she told me mentally. Now explain what in the name of Merlin's butthole just happened!

Her hands fumbled at the tape over her mouth, as she deliberated whether to pull it off swiftly, or to peel it away slowly.

"The fast way is usually the best, or so I've heard."

She closed her eyes and nodded. Go for it.

I winced at the idea of causing her pain, but did as she requested. Her eyes clenched tighter as I freed her mouth, so I quickly pressed my lips over hers, hoping to soothe the sting with my cold temperature. She gave into it immediately, her fingers clutching at my clothes in an entirely different manner to my sister's earlier. I took my attempts at mind control a step further as I exhaled onto her face. She moaned lightly upon inhaling my scent.

When I finally pulled back, I'd almost entirely forgotten the purpose of the exercise, just as dazzled as my counterpart.

"That was … that was …"

A high bellow suddenly interrupted her reverie. After a few seconds, it dwindled into strangled, agonised sobbing.

Bella shot to her feet in shock, but I fell back against the floor, howling with laughter at the images flashing through my mind, for somewhere outside, just beyond the initial line of trees across the river, my behemoth brother was scrunched into the foetal position on the forest floor. It took a lot to hurt one of our kind below the belt—a supercar at full speed might not have been able to generate enough power for that—but a crazed vampire fashionista fearing for her beloved wardrobe was, apparently, enough to do the trick.

Alice's eyes were wary as they took in the cuisine positioned on the table before Bella.

For once, the dining room was being used for its intended purpose. My adoptive parents had gone to great lengths to ensure that their human almost-daughter received the full Christmas special, and had decorated the room with boughs of holly, twinkling lights, and white candles covered with iridescent glitter. In addition, they'd prepared dozens of different types of food, all of which were arranged on silver platters.

The girl had gazed upon the sight with a look of outright fear, knowing there was no way that one human alone would be able to devour it all. Esme, naturally, had assured her that she wasn't expected to clear the table, and that they'd be happy to wrap up the left-overs, so that she and her father would have something for later, in case they got hungry.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Alice asked, not quite managing to hide her panic. Although the magic of the trick candy was beginning to wear off, there was still evidently a little of it left in her system, because she was eyeing the carrot speared on Bella's fork like it was a dubious piece of blowfish.

"For heaven's sake, it's not been dipped in cyanide," I quipped.

Bella chuckled at her best friend, and lifted the fork to her lips. Her lips closed around empty air though, as my sister swiped the cutlery from her grasp, and plunged the food into her own mouth.

I would've been exasperated with Alice's interference, had her attempt at eating a carrot not been such an amusing sight in the first place. Her hands flapped furiously, fanning her face as she chewed, eyes clenched into slits. Pity was beyond me, however, since the torture was unnecessary and self-inflicted.

"Ack!" she spat, after finally swallowing the offending orange vegetable. "That was disgusting!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "That's because you're a vampire, you ninny! Why did you eat it anyway?"

"To test whether or not it was safe!" Alice shook her head, and reached for the plate. "I'm sorry, Bella, but there's no way I can let you eat that."

"But I'm hungry!"

"It tastes awful."

"Only to you!"

"It might be poisonous."

Bella snorted. "Who here would want to poison me?"

"No one," Alice replied, "but before today, Carlisle and Esme hadn't cooked in a long, long time. They might have done it unintentionally."

"Alice," I sighed, "the food is fine."

"You wouldn't say that if you'd tried it." She aggressively stabbed the fork at another carrot. I pressed my mouth into a hard line as she leaned over the table to thrust it in front of my face. "Look at it, Edward. Really look at it, and then tell me that it's edible!"

"It's edible."

"Ha!" she barked. "Ha! It's practically luminescent! Possibly even radioactive. And orange, damn it. Orange! Did you know that, originally, these little suckers were purple or white? The only reason why orange ones are so common now is because a bunch of patriotic Dutch farmers produced them to match their political colours."

"I was aware of that, yes."

She waved the carrot closer to my face, and growled. "This thing right here, Edward—this repulsive, little obscenity—is a mutant freak! A genetically modified legume imposter! Nothing more than an herbaceous fraud!

"Are you going to subject your girlfriend to this, Edward? It's not natural! How would you feel if Bella was kidnapped by men in lab coats and transformed into a beautified, ga-ga Barbie, just so she'd fit in with the rest of society's peroxide clones?"

My sister, so entirely consumed by her argument, which was veering of at a complete tangent from her original point, failed to notice the effect her words were having upon Bella, myself, and the rest of the family.

In the adjacent room, Jasper had his face planted against a pillow, the couch trembling beneath his shaking body. Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle were in similar situations, all pressing their hands to their mouths to muffle their laughter. Even Emmett, who was still recovering upstairs from Alice's ball-busting attack, had taken a break from abusing Stalin—the history book was fast becoming the family's favourite item for stress relief—and was now enjoying the performance.

"Well, Edward?"

"I, er—I think we should let Bella destroy the carrot," I rationalised in between streams of laughter, before snatching the fork from the crazy vampire. "You know, make the world a better place and all that?"

Alice scowled at me and stamped her foot, before stomping angrily from the room.

Have it your way, she called back silently, but when Bella gets food poisoning, don't come crying to me!

Food poisoning from a carrot … well that was one I hadn't heard before.

After the tears of joy had stopped their flow, and Bella was finally able to look at her food without breaking into hysterics, she got to work on eating her dinner, complimenting my parents on their culinary skills.

She had to wait a full hour before she could manage dessert. I had a feeling she might have refused it, had Esme not been wearing such a proud expression upon unveiling a holly-topped plum pudding, dripping with brandy butter.

"Uuuugh," Bella moaned, five minutes after finishing, rubbing her stomach.

See! Told you you'd kill her.

I rolled my eyes at Alice's mental accusations, simultaneously smiling at the girl seated next to me.

"I'm not going to be able to eat for a week," she said.

Loss of appetite is a sign of food poisoning.

How could someone so small be so annoying? I inhaled a deep, calming breath, and told myself that this was all an effect of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It was not Alice's fault that she was doubly irritating today; it was Emmett's. Luckily, I had found the perfect remedy to ease my exasperation.

All it took was a little visualisation—the moment when my tiny, enraged sister had lunged down from the snowy canopy at my unsuspecting brother, looking every bit the lunatic she currently was: lips curled back over her teeth, fingers tensed like harpy claws, and eyes as wide as saucers, revealing the madness within.

Emmett had laughed initially, unprepared for what was about to happen. That, of course, had all changed when Alice had aimed a fierce kick to his manhood.

As vampires, our physicality was such that we could withstand the very greatest of pressures, whilst also being able to fully enjoy the lightest of touches. Though pain was something that rarely affected us, when we did experience it, like pleasure, we could appreciate it a hundred times more sensitively than any human.

So when that gargantuan force, courtesy of Alice, had been aimed directly between my brother's legs, the resulting agony and sickness had surged through every cell of his immortal body, and he'd spent the next five minutes clamped up on the floor, whimpering to himself. Carlisle collected him not long after, and had laid him down on the bed he and Rosalie shared, where he'd stayed for the next hour.

I would have sympathised, had he not been responsible for almost destroying the love of my existence.

By the time three o'clock rolled around, Jasper had completely regained his balance, and Alice was free of the fear. Despite the physical torture she'd inflicted upon our brother earlier, she refused to hold back, and gave him a livid rebuke. Naturally, still fearing for his manhood, which he had taken to shielding with his hands, he didn't argue.

I almost laughed at how normal—normal despite the supernatural elements—this Christmas was turning out to be. In my head, I compiled a checklist, ticking off what could be classed as traditional festive activities: the children waking sleeping family members at an inappropriate hour, in order to lessen the wait for the gift exchange; the serving of Christmas dinner and all the trimmings; turbulence between the gathered family members; pulling crackers; a festive film, in this case, an old version of Dickens' A Christmas Carol—the Muppets' adaptation was on on a different channel, but Bella had no patience for it, for which I was grateful. The only thing that was really missing from the list was to drink and be merry, which would surely happen sooner or later, especially since Charlie was due.

Whilst my parents and siblings cracked open a bottle of dragon's blood—Chinese Fireball—I refrained from drinking.

I was used to resisting Bella's scent, and whilst it would always be difficult, I knew that my teeth would never puncture her soft, translucent skin. The memory of what it felt like to lose her was still more painful than the venom burn. For that reason, taking a break from the magical fluid made sense, because whilst my focus was fixed on controlling my craving for Bella's blood, I didn't have to worry so much about other desires. The fire in my throat, strangely enough, was actually rather sobering.

Bella and I played with the wizarding chess set that I'd won out of one of the crackers whilst we waited for her father to arrive. The crackers also contained large colourful bonnets, and we had both donned one for the match. Bella's was a fruit hat, decorated with grapes, bananas, oranges, and so on; mine was a court jester's, green and yellow, with little bells dangling from each branch. The two of us looked ridiculous, hence the reason why Alice felt the need to capture the moment on film.

At five to six, Charlie knocked on the door. Carlisle greeted him inside, and he hadn't even sat down before Alice was handing him a glass of fire whiskey.

"Uh, thanks," he said uncertainly. After sniffing at the golden liquid, however, he visibly relaxed, realising that he appreciated its warm bouquet.

Mm, this stuff is good … like that sake. Nice. Bravery swept through him as his cheeks flushed red. Now, all I have to do is tell Bella and the Cullens that Billy and Jake are onto them ...

"Guys, Billy and Jacob Black are onto you."

Unlike Bella, who tensed immediately, I felt no reason to panic. If the dog had told Charlie that my family and I were vampires, I would already have known about it. I gave Bella's back a gently rub in an attempt to ease her worry. Her eyes flicked to mine, and I smiled at her reassuringly, after which she sighed in relief.

"What gave you that impression, Dad?"

Charlie bit his lip thoughtfully and rubbed his jaw. "Just things they said," he told us. "Jake wanted to know if I'd noticed anything … different about you since you'd come back. I didn't think anything of it at first, but he kept pressing the issue, to the point where Billy started shooting him daggers."

He must think I'm stupid, or just really unobservant.

Unobservant—a Swan? Ha!

"What I don't understand," Charlie continued, swirling the liquid in his whiskey glass, "is how they could know."

Carlisle sighed loudly, earning each individual's attention as he took a step away from his position by the fireplace. My brothers and sisters were present too. Emmett stood with his arms wrapped around Rosalie behind the loveseat where Bella and I were seated. On the opposite couch, Jasper was wedged in between Alice and Esme.

"Certain members of the Quileute tribe," Carlisle explained, his gaze fixed on Charlie "have been aware of what we are for some time."

"How?"

Carlisle shrugged. "Old legends and superstition. Their ancestors were terrorised once by our kind. It affected them enough that they continued to pass down the story."

Charlie's eyes landed on my face, and his lips pursed. Other than your family, are there any other good immortals out there?

I nodded. "There's another family in Alaska, but they try to be inconspicuous like us. No one has any stories to tell about the good guys, because they don't go out of their way to bother other people."

He nodded and took another swig of his drink. Makes sense. The news usually only covers the scum. "So, um, should I not let on that I know, or do you want me to say something?"

"It would probably be better if you didn't," Carlisle stated. "Our relationship with the tribe is delicate. You already know they don't particularly like us."

"I kinda figured that, yeah."

"They're more likely to leave us to our business if we keep a low profile. If they found out you knew about us, it would only raise suspicion and concern."

"Alright," Charlie nodded, "so I keep my mouth shut then. I can do that." He began gnawing at his lip again, his expression pensive. I know things aren't great between you and Jake, Edward.

"Not particularly," I agreed.

Right. I guess now I understand why. Still, you should probably know that he was getting a bit antsy today. I think he thinks Bella is like you guys now, even though I told him over and over that she's just the same as she's always been. I caught him pacing in the kitchen at one point. He's paranoid. It wouldn't surprise me if you ran into him sometime soon.

"Thanks for the warning. I'll bear it in mind."

"What warning?" Bella demanded softly. She looked at her father, and then at me, before repeating the motion.

"It's nothing," I assured her. She wasn't buying it.

Edward, what's going on?

"I swear it's nothing. Charlie was just telling me that the mu—that Jacob is a little apprehensive at the moment."

"All the more reason to stay away," Jasper cut in, looking at Bella pointedly. She blushed under his gaze, but nodded in agreement. "As long as we don't cause trouble and keep our distance, I'm sure the Quileutes will keep him under control."

It was a relief when the conversation finally deviated away from the Wolves. Jacob Black was the last person I wanted to think about.

After he'd finished with his first glass of fire whiskey, Charlie declined another, but accepted a beer. We'd stocked the fridge with cans the day before.

He spluttered awkwardly when Esme handed him his gift—a fishing sonar system from all of us—apologising for not having anything to offer in return. My mother waved it off, quite happy regardless, like the rest of us. As Alice had predicted when we'd purchased it, the Chief loved the present, and spent a good twenty minutes immersed in the instruction manual.

Bella and I left him to it, and went outside, where we built a snow man. It only took five minutes to do, since gathering the raw material was far quicker when you were blessed with super speed. Bella didn't even have to wrap up for the occasion; instead, she simply cast a thermal spell to keep herself warm.

When Alice brought the carrot out, Bella spent an additional five minutes ribbing her for thinking we'd allow our snowman to live his life with a mutated nose. My sister probably would have blushed if she'd been human, and stuck her tongue out at the teasing girl.

"You don't want the other snowmen to make fun of him, do you?" I chortled.

"Oh, shut up," Alice chuckled, screwing the carrot into the head. "It doesn't count if all the rest have mutated noses too. Besides, it's just selective breeding; they're not really mutants. That was the candy talking."

After much dispute, we decided to name the snowman Norris. Personally, I thought he deserved a more majestic name than that, for he had a very regal air about him, with his strong nose, his robust belly, and his black top hot. Bella argued, claiming that she didn't want our creation to get above himself, and that a more humble name would prevent his head from swelling.

Later, we played charades in the living room. By that point, Charlie was onto his third can, and though he wasn't drunk, he was certainly looser than he would normally have been around my family.

Emmett and Jasper were proving to be decent competition as they knocked back glass after glass. The initial effect was giddiness, and they moved and spoke a little more swiftly than they should have. I would have argued, only, in his merry state, the newest human in on our act found the whole thing rather funny, especially when it was Emmett's turn to mime to his team: Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice.

He got a 1920's Broadway show, so, without a moment's hesitation, he broke out into a full on tap dance routine, his feet moving so quickly that they were a blur to Charlie's eyes. The man gawked for a moment, eyes bugging, before throwing his head back with a snort. I could see the humour too. Emmett was an ape—a tap dancing ape.

"ELEANOR POWELL!" Jasper squealed, jumping in his seat like an excited school girl. I suppressed a cackle.

"Bill Robinson!" shouted Alice.

"Cholly Atkins!" cried Rosalie.

"FRED ASTAIRE!"

Emmett pointed at Jasper immediately, and gave him the thumbs up, before he stuck out his behind, wiggling it vigorously, and thrust out his chest, cupping his hands over his pectorals.

"GIRL! FEMALE! LOLITHA! SCARLET WOMAN! CALL GIRL! COURTISAN! LADY OF NEGOTIABLE AFFECTIONS! FILLE DE JOIE!" Jasper screamed, pulling at his hair. Emmett shook his head furiously.

"Jasper," Rosalie growled, poking him in the shoulder, "let us get a word in, would you?"

He couldn't control his mouth, though, thanks to the dragon's blood binge—which probably wasn't even over yet—and his mind was far less shrewd than it normally would have been. As a result, he continued to spout off rubbish and incorrect answers, having temporarily forgotten that he was meant to be searching for something linking to Fred Astaire.

"CONCUBINE! COMMERCIAL SEX WORKER! FULL BODY MASEUSE! ESCORT! FALLEN WOMAN—"

"What the hell is going on in that head of yours?" Alice freaked.

"WOMAN OF EASY VIRTUE! SCARLET FEMALE! LADY OF THE—"

Emmett pointed, and nodded his head.

"Lady?" Rosalie clarified.

He nodded again.

"Lady Be Good!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!"

Dumb launched himself from the couch, into the arms of Dumber, who lifted him off the ground in celebration. Bella and Charlie were leaning against each other for support, laughing hysterically at the spectacle.

"I love you, man!" Emmett cheered. "That was awesome!"

"I love you too, Em!"

"Hey," Rosalie said, standing up, hands on hips, "I'm the one who got the answer. Shouldn't you be telling me how awesome I am?"

"I wouldn't worry, Rose." My sister turned to look at me, her brow furrowing. I nodded my head to my whooping brothers. "Making inappropriate declarations of love is apparently normal for intoxicated males."

She rolled her eyes, chuckling in spite of her irritation. "Sister, dearest?"

"Rosalie?"

"Come on, let's go have what they're having. Apparently, the world is a funnier place to be when you're an idiot."

Alice nodded and jumped up from the couch, linking her arm with my golden haired sister's, before the two of them skipped away into the kitchen.

I drove Charlie home at eight. There was no way he would've been able to get back alone; firstly, his morals would never have allowed it, and, secondly, his reflex skills were seriously suffering.

"Y'know," he slurred, as he wobbled through the front door. "Y'ralright, Edward. Y'rall 'n oooohw-kay bunch."

"Thanks Charlie."

He pointed to my wrist. "Like it?"

"The spy band?" I replied, looking down at the gift Bella had bought me. Warmth seemed to seep through my body in those next few seconds, and my lips spread automatically, until the corners were practically touching my eyes. "I love it. What better way is there to make sure she's safe?"

"Yu-up."

I chuckled quietly as Charlie hiccupped, and left shortly afterwards, speeding away, back to the house, where Bella would be waiting for me.

She was nowhere in sight though when I returned, and I couldn't hear her heartbeat.

"Bella?" I panicked, zipping from room to room.

She's out flying, Esme informed me from her bedroom, where she was testing out the magic art kit, painting a vase of tulips. Carlisle resided nearby, sprawled out on the bed with his head in a book, magical magnifying glass in hand.

Go find her, my mother instructed, before she gets tired of waiting for you.

"I will, thanks." And with that, I raced back downstairs, grabbing my new Firebolt from beside the Christmas tree, before zooming outside and shooting up, leaving the ground below.

The clouds were thick overhead, blocking out the moon and stars. Once I'd gained enough altitude, I began scanning the landscape, which, to my eyes, was painted in white, deep purples, and indigo. The forest stretched out into the distance, over hills and cliffs, obscuring my view of the area.

Hovering in mid air, I closed my eyes, lending all my concentration to seeking out Bella through sound alone. There was still no trace of her heartbeat; I was out of range. I couldn't even discern the wings of birds or the hooves of animals as the wind surged around my ears. They must all have returned to their shelters, eager to escape the cold.

The air whistled as I sped off. The only thoughts I could hear were those of my family, just over a mile away. I searched farther, trying to find another mind to connect with. My sense of smell was useless in the air; Bella must've flown downwind.

Then, suddenly, an image permeated my mind: a wide, circular clearing overrun with white, yellow and purple wildflowers, their heads looking up in worship of the sun. As soon as it came, the memorised picture faded. I grinned widely, before turning east, anticipating the imminent rendezvous.

When I reached the meadow, however, Bella was nowhere to be seen. The place was asleep beneath the soft white veil of snow, and would remain so for some time. I touched down in the dead centre, instantly aware that the object of my affections had been here earlier. She'd left her scent behind. It cut directly along the middle, from one side to the other, the trail ending at the trees.

Odd.

I stopped suddenly as my eyes caught on a yellow post-it note pinned to a branch. The image caused my breath stop, before picking up a second later, its tempo much faster than normal, due to a sudden burst of excitement. When I read the words written upon it, a wide grin spread across my face.

Find me if you can: mushroom ravioli.

I threw back my head and laughed loudly. A treasure hunt. Was that what we were playing? To me, a vampire, this was a very appetising prospect. I wondered how long it would take to get to Port Angeles on a Firebolt. Certainly no more than ten minutes, I estimated. It would take only a matter of seconds for an apparating witch.

"Alright, Bella," I chuckled, swinging my leg back over the broom, "I'll play along."

The flight to Bella Italia was incredible! Whizzing over the ground at super speeds was exhilarating enough, but to surge through the air at an equal velocity, the world rushing by beneath, was nothing short of spectacular. I could appreciate more and more, with each passing minute, why Bella was always so underwhelmed by fast cars.

The streets, all of which were illuminated by the orangey glow of the lights, were deserted, the locals tucked away indoors for the holiday. I scanned the area to ensure it was safe, and searched through all the minds in range. When I was certain that no one would see me, I landed on the roof of the restaurant, my eyes flying in every direction as I caught Bella's scent again.

The next clue was taped to a rising air vent. I snatched at it immediately, hit by another surge of excitement. The note fluttered against the light breeze, and my heart swelled to double its size as I read the message.

I dream of you.

Within ten minutes, I was back in Forks, quietly easing open Bella's window. My vampiric vision made locating the next note a simple task. I moved silently over the floorboards as I went to retrieve it. This clue was a little less obvious than the other two had been. It read:

The hunt ends at the beginning.

"At the beginning," I whispered, pursing my lips. Did that mean she wanted me to return to the meadow, or the house? That didn't seem to fit, since my witch was a little more imaginative than that.

"The beginning," I said again, this time, understanding the riddle's meaning.

After carefully folding up the note, and transferring it to my pocket, I set off once more, into the night sky, my thoughts centred on Forks' High School, and the girl awaiting me there.

I couldn't see through the cafeteria windows when I landed. They were frosted, like the panes you'd place in a bathroom for privacy. They were softly illuminated by a glow from inside. Music filled my ears—a slow and gentle composition. I recognised the soothing notes of Claire De Lune, listening in wonder as my legs moved of their own volition, pulling me closer to the noise and the beautiful accompanying heartbeat.

The door was unlocked, naturally. My breath caught in my lungs as I silently pushed it open.

Bella stood in the centre of the candlelit room, barefoot, her eyes closed as she swayed softly to the melody, which was coming from a charmed piano up by the western wall. The desks were stacked against the sides of the room, creating a wide space for her to dance in, not that she was making full use of it. She was wearing a white, strapless maxi dress. The material fitted snugly around her chest, but draped more loosely beneath the empire line, swaying as she did.

I'd never seen anything so beautiful in all my life. She looked so incredibly peaceful … like an angel—even the sound of her humming was heavenly—so much so that I simply couldn't bring myself to announce my presence. I merely stood on the sidelines and watched in wonder, unable to believe that she was mine.

When Debussy was replaced by my own composition, however—her lullaby—I had to step in. I softly called her name and she froze, opening her eyes a second later. She didn't display any sign of embarrassment—unusual for her—as she greeted me with a warm and tender smile.

We exchanged no words as I approached, and the silence continued as I took her in my arms, stretching on and into our dance. She rested her head on my shoulder, her face turned inwards, so that her warm breath blew gently onto my neck each time she exhaled. Save for the burn in my throat, I was completely and utterly content.

For half an hour, that was all we did—slow dance in circles, never straying from the centre of the room, neither of us uttering a single syllable. The only significant sounds were those created by the piano, Bella's heart, our feet as they moved over the tiles, and our relaxed, synchronised breathing.

At one point, she dropped her shield, remembering what I'd said after the Quidditch World Cup, about how she should abandon Occlumency as a Christmas gift. Her thoughts were quiet and peaceful, in tune with the atmosphere. They didn't really stray any further than the present, and what she was feeling as we moved together.

Eventually, however, she did wonder about how I'd found the game.

"I liked it very much," I told her softly. "It was fun, especially since I'm a hunter by nature. I should congratulate you on your spontaneity. People rarely manage to surprise me."

I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was fun for me too.

"Where were you when you showed me the meadow?"

In the forest, a couple of miles from the house, where the trees were thick. I felt you trying to find me, and I'd already placed all the clues by the time you'd arrived back. It only took five minutes. So after you started out for the meadow, I came here and set up.

"The piano?"

Borrowed from the music department.

"And the dress? Which looks lovely on you by the way."

She smiled against my neck. Alice, of course. She was tipsy when I asked. I think she very nearly fainted.

I laughed, before adjusting my head so that I could see her face. When the amusement subsided, another wave of tender emotion swept over me. Staring deeply into her chocolate eyes, I said, "I can't believe you did all this for me."

You should know by now that I'd do anything for you.

I nodded sternly. "I know. It's just … you're dancing."

She tilted her head back, allowing me to support her body, and laughed up to the ceiling.

"Voluntarily," I added, strengthening my point.

"I am, aren't I?"

"Yes, which is entirely out of character for you. I'm conflicted as to whether or not I should deliver you to the hospital."

She aimed a playful smack to my chest. I caught her hand and held it there, injecting a pleasing tension into the atmosphere, which only deepened as our eyes held one another's. After a few moments, however, it was broken by my Bella, as she reached up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

It was half past ten when the two of us set off back to her house. We flew, rather than apparating, and soared up through the night sky until we were above the cloud bank. Up there, her white dress illuminated by the silvery glow of the moon and stars, Bella really did look ethereal.

The misty sky-scape was so incredible to behold, the artificial light from below completely blocked by the white spanning blanket, that we dawdled a little, prolonging the journey.

"I should've thought to use a thermal spell in bed a long time ago," Bella told me when we eventually made it back.

I had to agree with that. It was nice not to have to be separated from her by lots of thin layers and a duvet. I arched my body around hers as she laid with her back to me, humming her lullaby. Fifteen minutes after our arrival, she was asleep. Twenty minutes later, she was talking, mumbling my name and something about carrots.

I had every intention of staying with her until she woke up, but that plan went out the window when four irritating voices echoed in my head, demanding my attention.

Eddie!

My eyes bulged. What the …

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie! You up there, dude?

"Emmett!" I hissed, too low to wake Bella. "What in the blazes do you want?"

Hey, he huffed mentally, is that any way to speak to your adoring brother? Come on, Eddie."

I clenched my jaw and swung from the bed, flitting to the window and lifting it open. "Would you stop calling me that!" I demanded, looking down at my four siblings. The girls were sat on their spouses' shoulders, all of them waving up at me.

What was peculiar, on top of their obvious intoxicated condition, was the fact that their irises possessed a higher saturation of colour. Rosalie's eyes, for example, which had been a soft violet a few hours ago, were now a deep purple. Jasper's eyes were a metallic silver, rather than grey. Emmett's were an unnatural shade of blue; he looked ghostly. Alice's, funnily enough, had been intensified back to gold, since their normal shade hung somewhere between green and hazel.

"Come on, grumpy," Alice whispered, swaying from side to side, her eyelids drooping slightly, "we have lots and lots and lots and lots and lots—"

I gently banged my head against the wall.

"…and lots and lots and lots of stuff to do."

"Like?"

She threw her head back and giggled. Rosalie did the same, before she looked at me and held up an oversized hat—Bella's headless hat to be precise.

"We have a cunning plan."

Emmett and Jasper vibrated against the shadows, pressing their palms to their faces to muffle the sound of their laughter.

I sighed at my drunken brothers and sisters. "What kind of cunning plan?"

Duh, thought Rosalie. We're going to go freak out the Wolves.

Though my sister's words rang as clear as a bell in my head, I couldn't bring myself to accept them. I stared blankly at the group below for what felt like minutes, unable to believe that anyone could be so stupid. When I finally realised that they were resolved on their plot, my eyes flashed wide with fury, and my lips curled back over my teeth.

"Oooh," Jasper mocked, "someone's got his panties in a twist."

Emmett snorted. "Oh, man. Edward in lace. Sexy!"

The mental image he sent me pushed me a step closer to the edge, and it took everything I had not to fling myself down there and give him another good kick where it hurt.

"You. Are. An. Imbecile." I growled.

"At least I don't wear lace."

Come on, Edward, Alice pouted, batting her eyelashes. Come and have some fun with us!

"We are not provoking the Wolves!"

Alright, fine. We can just find someone else to prank instead. How about Mike Newton? He's home for the holidays. I know how much you loathe the guy. Pleeeeeeease!"

My expression smoothed out at Alice's suggestion. It was true … I severely disliked Newton …

I shook my head. "We shouldn't."

"You know you want to," Alice sang. You really, really want to.

"That doesn't change the fact we shouldn't," I smirked.

Of course it does.

"If you'd said that every time we'd wanted something in the past, we would have left a trail of corpses behind us wherever we went."

"Yeah, but this is different," she grinned. "We're not going to injure anyone physically. We're just going to inflict some serious psychological pain."

"You're mean when you're drunk," I chuckled. She flashed an impish grin in response.

In the end, I gave in. The idea of pranking Newton was just too delicious to pass up on, and considering Bella's past misdemeanours, I doubted she would begrudge me this one tiny pleasure. On top of that, Jasper was using his persuasive powers to fill me with enthusiasm. I would blame him.

Since my plans had been interrupted, I decided to make use of Bella's gift, and positioned one of the square mirrors on her bedside table, adjusting the angle to ensure I had the perfect view of her face. Afterwards, I made my departure, but not before I pressed a light kiss to the witch's head.

Bella breathed out a soft sigh. She must have been falling into a deeper sleep now, because she didn't speak again.

Each vampire clapped me on the back as my feet thudded against the earth, happy to have me on board. From there, we raced away from the house, back down the road and into town. I'd been expecting our travels to take us to Mike's home, but then Alice's vision darted into my head, and she led our group in an alternate direction, cackling like a hag as she did so, her golden eyes crazed.

As we neared Fork's elementary school, I distinguished four new voices, the familiar ones of Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, Tyler Crowley, and Lauren Mallory. Their time away hadn't matured them any, yet like most humans, they'd quickly realised the qualities fashionable amongst students.

They stood just a little way into the forest at the back of the school, sharing a spliff, whilst discussing politics and literature, even though none possessed any real understanding of the subjects.

"Omigosh," Jessica spewed, "I'm studying a module on nineteenth-century literature, right, and I swear, I am so taken with Hardy! His aesthetics are incredible! Tess of the d'Urbevilles is now my all time favourite book!" God, it's dull. Haven't even made it past the third page.

"Really?" said Lauren, faking enthusiasm. "I'll check it out of the library next time I go." Not.

After taking a long draw from the joint, Mike passed it on to Jessica, who smiled and thanked him. She inhaled lightly, and kept her expression fixed, though, secretly, she was actually repulsed by marijuana.

I hate this stuff. It burns like hell!

I laughed under my breath. If only she knew…

"Hey, has anyone seen anything of Bella?" Mike inquired. I was clutching the bark of a small spruce at the time. What I saw in the boy's head caused the wood to splinter under the sheer force of my grasp. "You'd think she'd be back for the holidays."

"Swan?" drawled Lauren. "Ugh! Can we please not talk about that stuck up bi-atch? You're killing my high, Mike."

I immediately snatched the hat off Rosalie and stuffed it onto my head.

Sweet, thought Emmett, a manic grin forming on his face as he took in my headless figure. You go get em, Lacey.

I was too angry to react to my brother's teasing; all my fury was channelled towards the humans. Jessica was laughing at Lauren's foul remark, and the boys were too busy stripping the fantasy Bella they'd constructed in their minds.

I crept towards them through the trees. They didn't hear or see my approach, for their senses were far too dull, even with the added sensory effects of the cannabis.

"God only knows why Cullen wanted her. Maybe he's blind," Jessica laughed.

Quite the opposite, you silly cow, Rosalie snarled mentally.

"Or desperate."

Maybe he found out something we didn't. I bet she's filthy in the sack. Tyler grinned to himself at the idea whilst I seethed. Jessica and Lauren misunderstood his smile, taking encouragement from it, and, thus, continued to spout their verbal diarrhoea.

There was no trace of the reluctance I'd experienced earlier as I pulled to a halt ten metres from the group. In fact, I was nothing short of delighted when they all tensed in fright, alerted by the loud crack I created when I purposefully snapped a stick underfoot.

"W-what was that?" Lauren stuttered.

They scanned the area, which proved rather pointless. I moved a few metres closer, remaining low to the ground, and found another twig.

Snap.

The four gasped and jumped back. That was my cue.

"Unhh."

The girls shrieked in fear, grabbing onto one another for comfort.

What the hell? thought Mike.

"Unhh." I groaned again, moving out from behind a twisted tree, arms held out before me like a zombie. The air filled with four piercing screams as I slowly began trudging towards them. "Unhhhhhhh!"

"IT'S HEADLESS!" cried Tyler. "OH MY GOD, IT'S HEADLESS!"

His pupils dilated as he chanced a quick look at the spliff between his fingertips. Ok, so it's bad grass. That's all.

"Unhhhhh!"

The boy threw his joint onto the floor, no longer interested in the psychedelic drug. Mike shoved him forwards, and began screaming orders for him to 'kill it'. Whilst the girls trembled in fear at the back, Tyler grabbed a thick branch from the ground, and held it up like a baseball bat, ready to swing.

"Kill it, damn it!" Mike demanded.

"Kill it? Kill it?" Tyler shouted back, completely incredulous. "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED, YOU FRICKIN MORON, BUT A DECAPITATED ZOMBIE DOES NOT QUALIFY AS ALIVE! I DON'T THINK A STICK IS GOING TO DO MUCH GOOD IN THIS SCENARIO, DO YOU?"

My ears caught Emmett's muffled snort from somewhere behind.

"Unhhhh!" As the next round of screams pierced the air, I abandoned my slow pace and pounced forwards. "Kill!"

Tyler reflexively threw the branch at my chest. I batted it effortlessly out of my way, causing it to clatter against a nearby tree trunk.

The boy turn-tailed immediately, exactly like his friend, Newton, and began his sprint towards the edge of the forest, too terrified to wait for the girls, all forms of chivalry now abandoned.

Lauren and Jessica, meanwhile, were far too panicked to notice the many roots protruding up through the dirt, and continued to lose their footing in their attempts to scramble away. I shouldn't have taken such pleasure in their fear, but it felt immensely satisfying to finally have my revenge on the malicious blonde and her two-faced crony.

"UNHHHHHHH!"

They released one final duet of horrified shrieks, before they finally broke free of the sinister woodland together, and pelted away towards the main road.

Not a second later, the silence exploded, giving birth to a raucous chorus of howls and hyena-like laughter. The hat slipped off my head as I doubled over, barking out my delight along with my brothers and sisters.

And that was how we remained for the next half hour. The others were too giddy from the dragon's blood to move. Whenever they tried, they simply fell about laughing again, onto the dusty ground. In the end, because giggling whilst standing was clearly impossible for them, I had to encourage my brothers and sisters to crawl their way out of the forest on hands and knees—a process which took a considerable amount of time.

They propped themselves up against the trees and continued with their giggle fits, whilst I ran back to the house to retrieve the Volvo. I spent the entire run not looking where I was going, not that that caused a problem for me. I was too busy watching Bella. She wore the hint of a smile. The sight of it strengthened my own happiness, as always, and I soon became completely engrossed by it. My eyes didn't see the road as I drove back through the snow to collect the others, because I didn't have the strength to pull them away from spy band. I even turned the volume up as loudly as it could go, because the sound of Bella's breathing was incredibly soothing. It provided the same effect that some people would probably get from listening to wind pipe music, or the high frequency whistles of dolphins.

Soon, the snow began falling more heavily, building into what could almost be described as a blizzard, the wind rushing against the car windows, locking the frosty, white powder in a violent dance with the night. By the time I pulled up next to the elementary school, my brothers and sisters were almost entirely concealed by the snow. The only parts of them that remained uncovered were their lips, because the force of their continued laughter blew the snow away from their mouths.

I helped the hooting snowmen two by two into the car. Alice and Rose, I simply slung over each shoulder and threw in, but the boys, I dragged by the arms. They didn't protest; language was beyond them by that point.

---

BPOV

That year's Christmas was one of the best I'd ever had. The days following it were filled with just as much fun and happiness. Edward told me all about the mischievous antics he'd partaken in the previous night. A normal person probably would've been mad at what he and the others had put the humans through in the forest. I, however, had never been normal, and, therefore, found the whole thing entirely hilarious.

It hadn't caused any permanent damage. Tyler, Mike, Lauren and Jessica had all decided that it was either a result of bad drugs, or that they'd been pranked. They'd reached this conclusion upon realising that a headless zombie would never be able to produce the noises that Edward did, what with the lack of a mouth and every thing. Their doubt, of course, didn't make them any less nervous afterwards.

I'd been fully expecting, upon arriving at the Cullen mansion on the twenty sixth of December, to find four hung-over vampires. That seemed likely after what Bertie Bigwig had told us about the effects of too much dragon's blood. What none of us had banked on, however, was that the vampires would remain in their drunken state for days on end; but they did, because their bodies used up the magical fluid so slowly. The result of that was three days worth of side splitting entertainment.

On day two of being under the influence, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie had a 'slow race'. This entailed each vampire climbing behind the wheel of a vehicle, and driving down a two mile road, one that was rarely used. The winner was the individual who came last. It was hilarious to see the look of concentration etched onto each of their faces as they crawled along at snail-pace.

After seventy five metres, Alice and Rosalie abandoned their efforts and hit the pedal, leaving a trail of dust behind them. According to Edward, they'd decided to race to some obscure location in Idaho. Emmett and Jasper, however, stuck with it to the end, the largest vampire in his jeep, and his brother in the Volvo, both hunched over their steering wheels, licking their lips determinedly.

Emmett won, and began sweet-talking his behemoth vehicle shortly afterwards.

There was much singing involved in the drunken antics too. Alice and Rose, on their return from Idaho, brought with them a karaoke machine. I've never laughed so much in my life as I did upon hearing the beautiful blonde and her husband duet to Sonny and Cher.

As I'd already discovered, the vampires were incredibly naughty when inebriated. At one point, Jasper, alternatively known as 'the sly cupid', decided it would be fun to manipulate the emotions of the house's inhabitants.

First, he targeted Carlisle and Esme, right whilst I was sat between the two on the couch. I barely knew what to think when the motherly vampire, who I'd never deemed to be one for public displays, began eyeing her husband with a look of outright lust. Even the doctor was powerless. He growled at her licentiously, whilst his two sons—Jasper and Emmett—sat sniggering on the opposing couch.

Then it was my turn, and I finally understood why the vampires had failed so abysmally to control themselves. I practically attacked Edward, as he did me, almost completely unaffected by the commentary coming from his brothers.

"Yes, that's right—caress her neck," Jasper suggested. "Now slowly move your hands lower."

I don't know how many times I thanked the heavens for Edward's willpower that night. In one moment of restraint, he'd dove away from me like a bullet, right through the glass wall and back down into the river. It was the second time I'd had to magically repair the window that week, so it was a lucky thing for the Cullens that I happened to be a witch—dozens of Edward shaped holes might attract attention. At least I didn't end up naked in front of his siblings, though, and we finally discovered why Jasper had been so reluctant to share with us the stories of his bourbon days. He was a beast.

Despite everything, I couldn't get too mad at him. He was the reason, after all, that I was able to go watch the Arrows play against the Caerphilly Catapults. Originally, Edward had intended on accompanying me, but he suggested that I take Charlie instead, because the sport was a sure way to increase my father's appreciation for the magical world.

Sure enough, he was right. Charlie adored Quidditch, and even subscribed himself to a wizarding magazine at one of the sign up booths outside the stadium. We went to the bank straight afterwards to convert US dollars into the appropriate currency, so that he'd be able to pay the owl with each delivery.

After he'd returned home, I apparated straight over to the Cullen mansion, ready to regale the vampires with the day's events. The Arrows had won with a fifty point lead, catapulting themselves into third place in the British League.

However, when Edward greeted me inside, I was distracted by a series of high groans coming from the next floor up.

My fiancé chuckled darkly under his breath and nodded to the staircase. "Go see for yourself."

When I pushed back the door to the second floor bathroom, I had to clap a hand to my mouth at the sight that met me. All four of his brothers and sisters were knelt by the tub, each with their head fully submerged. The surface of the water was covered with floating ice cubes, some smaller than others, as if they were in the process of melting.

I looked at Edward questioningly.

"The hang-over has finally arrived," he whispered. "It started about an hour after you left for the match. At first, they all complained of a slight headache, but it escalated soon after into full on migraines. In addition, it turns out that drinking the blood of fire breathing creatures causes our body temperature to rise, but it happens gradually, and depends entirely on how much blood is consumed. All four of them were measuring in at eighty degrees before we got their heads in the tub. That might be cold for a human, but for a vampire, it's a fever."

"Why are you whispering?" I laughed loudly.

All of a sudden, the heads of the four soaking vampires snapped up out of the water, their eyes instantly finding mine.

"SSSSSSSSSSSH!" they chorused, immediately after which, they all released agonised groaning sounds and gripped their dripping heads.

Edward shot me an amused look, which was clearly meant to say 'that's why'.

"Ow," Alice whimpered, her voice barely audible. "Ow, ow, ow."

"Never again," Jasper whispered, massaging his temples.

And then all four plunged their heads back beneath the surface of the water, where they would stay for the rest of the day.

The following day, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett could be found sprawled out in the living room. Their migraines had diminished to lighter thudding headaches, but they were still lethargic, and laid like the sleeping dead for hours on end, completely refusing to move.

Edward and I used the time to complete our homework. Whilst I slaved over an essay on the methodology of wand-achieved human to animal transfiguration, Edward busied himself with his Divination homework, and flew out on his Firebolt, whizzing above the clouds where he'd have a clear view of the heavens.

When our assigned work was finally completed, we reverted to our earlier task of making copies of all my important memories, which we stored safely away for future use. We went through everything from that first day in the cafeteria, all the way through the most romantic scenes in our story.

The most uncomfortable memory for Edward was probably the biology lesson, when he'd spent the hour directing hateful glances in my direction. He perked up a little when I tried to inject some humour, and even laughed as I stood by memory Edward's side, whispering into his ear about how he should stop being so cantankerous. He even joined in, and told himself, in a very stern voice, that he needed an attitude adjustment.

It was two days until our return to Hogwarts when we made our last trip into the pensieve. The Hogwart's dormitory materialised around us, where my past-self was tossing and turning in bed.

"The eyes," she—I—mumbled. "The eyes."

In the next bed across, Hermione sat bolt up right, awakened by my sleep talking. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and slid out of bed.

"Bella. Bella," she said lowly, giving Memory-Me a light shake. "Wake up."

I gasped awake at her touch, my limbs flying out reflexively. "Where is—who was … Huh?"

"Bella, are you alright?" she asked. "You were having that dream again. This is the fifth time now."

"Oh … yeah." I flopped back down against the bed, running a hand through my hair. "I'm alright. I just wish I knew what it meant."

"Why don't you tell me about it?" my friend suggested. "It might help."

I shrugged. "To be honest, Hermione, there's not much to tell. I don't see a face when I sleep. It's just the eyes, like I'm getting a close up or something."

"There must be a reason why you're dreaming about the same thing though. There must be something special about them."

"Oh, there is," Memory-Me assured her. "They're not like normal eyes."

I felt Edward tense beside me. Sneaking a glance at his face, I saw that he was both completely immersed in the conversation, and hopeful looking. He licked his lips in anticipation, his gaze never straying from the two sixteen year-olds.

"They're golden," I confessed. "The most beautiful gold you could possibly imagine. I see them almost every time I go to sleep, and I have absolutely no idea why. They're so … intense, like they somehow have the ability to … to see past everything physical … like they're looking into my soul."

"And you have absolutely no idea whatsoever who they might belong to?" Hermione questioned. "Whether it's a woman or a man?"

"It's definitely a man," I answered confidently. "I can tell by his brow."

For a moment, there was silence. My friend pursed her lips, considering my revelation, whilst I nervously awaited her conclusion.

"Perhaps this person is your soul mate," she shrugged eventually.

Memory-Me arched an eyebrow sceptically. "My soul mate? Who are you and what have you done with Hermione Granger?"

The two laughed quietly under their breath.

"It might be true. You never know. If it's not that, then maybe it's a warning of danger. Maybe the golden eyed man is going to threaten you in the future."

"Or maybe it doesn't mean anything at all."

"Come now, Bella," Hermione chided. "You know as well as I do how important our dreams sometimes can be."

"You're starting to sound like Trelawney."

She threw back her head and snorted loudly. "I'm not saying that they always are, but I don't think it's sensible to totally disregard them either, especially not when you have the same one over and over." She shook her head, worry gradually overtaking her countenance. "No, I don't believe this dream is meaningless, and, deep down, I don't think you do either."

I held my breath and bit my lip, before finally releasing a heavy sigh. "You're right … I don't."

And then the memory began fizzling around us, fading to black, before a new scene started forming to replace it.

Edward slowly turned to look at me, his eyes wide and shocked. My heartbeat sped under the intensity of his gaze, my cheeks flushing as a result.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked eventually, after what felt like forever.

"I couldn't at first."

"No, but after that."

I shrugged. "I didn't know how to approach it. How do you tell someone you dreamt of them almost every night for a year before you met them? It sounds insane, and more than a little obsessive."

"I would've believed you," he murmured, "and after creeping into your room in the beginning to watch you sleep, I'd be the last person in the world to accuse you of obsession. Besides," he shrugged, a glorious smile creeping onto his face, "I like that you dreamt about me. It's one more thing to add to the list."

"List? What list?"

"The list of evidence proving we were meant for each other."

I grinned, and apologised for not informing him sooner. Edward asked why he hadn't heard of it before in Hermione's thoughts. I explained to him that the dream hadn't occurred to my friend during the Battle of Hogwarts, because she was so overwhelmed with panic and the mission against Voldemort. In fact, it wasn't until she'd read the fifty page report issued by the Prophet that she remembered what I'd told her. She'd written to me not long after, just to say 'I told you so', but once the mystery had been solved, it wasn't something we really felt the need to discuss again. Hermione had better things to do than to become fixated on someone else's dreams and love life.

Edward accepted that, and although the smile didn't drop from his face, he quickly sank back into silence, watching as a thick emerald forest materialised.

We were back in Forks, and it was twilight—the one following my first day at the new school. Talto was sat on the trunk of a toppled tree, watching me whilst I paced frantically back and forth. My expression was a mixture of anger and fear.

"Argh!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air. "Vampires! Vampires! In Forks! And not just that. Vampires in high school! I don't understand. What would vampires be doing in high school?"

Edward chuckled beside me.

"I mean … it's not exactly very inconspicuous is it? But then again, the death toll in Forks isn't exactly high, so if they're not using school as a way of picking out their courses, what in the name of Merlin's beard are they doing there? What's the attraction?"

Talto gave a hoot of confusion, and continued to watch me pace. Eventually, I slumped down next to him, and released a tired sigh.

"I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense. Vampires are nomads by nature. They don't live in families, and they certainly don't enter a medical profession!" My head fell into my palms, and I released a humourless laugh. "Maybe they're lazy vampires. Maybe they prefer to steal donated blood …

"Argh! Did I mention the fact that one of them seriously has it in for me?"

Edward stiffened, as did Talto.

"I kid you not. His name is Edward Cullen, and he spent the entire biology lesson glaring in my direction! And it wasn't just an 'I hate you' glare either; it was a 'I want to sink my teeth through your skin and drain the life from you' sort of glare. Who does he think he is?

Edward sighed beside me, his expression loaded with guilt and sadness.

"Hey," I said softly, lacing my hand with his, "you didn't hurt me."

"I scared you."

"I caused you physical pain. I think that pretty much makes us even."

We both looked back at Memory-Me, who now resembled a deer caught in headlights. "But why … why would he look at me like that when … when he spends almost every day surrounded by humans, unless …"

I groaned, my hands falling back into my palms. "Brilliant … I'm his Singer. No wonder he wanted to kill me."

Talto flapped his wings furiously, hooting in panic.

I touched a finger to his feathers, stroking them in an effort to sooth him.

"Don't worry. I'm still alive, though I don't exactly understand why. Edward should've killed me by now if he wanted my blood that badly. And it's not as if he's too full to do it. His eyes were flat black.

"And then there's the matter of his gift. I don't know precisely what he can do, but it's clear he's a Legilimens of some sort. I could feel him trying to get inside my head. I wonder if the others in his family have powers …

My past self sighed again, rubbing her temples in an attempt to relieve her stress.

"A family … Not a coven. What kind of vampires belong to a family?"

The memory shifter a second later, though the setting remained the same.

"Talto!" Memory-Me exclaimed. "Talto!"

The owl swooped down from a high branch, landing once again on the trunk of the uprooted tree.

"It's him! I can't believe it, but it's him! The one with the golden eyes! I'd recognise them anywhere," I declared excitedly. Talto stared at me in confusion. "Edward Cullen! He came back to school today, and his irises were gold! He's the one I've spent the past year dreaming about!"

My owl's eyes dilated as he took in my words. I, meanwhile, began pacing back and forth, wearing an elated smile as I did so.

"He had better control of himself today, and he was even trying to be nice! I must have just caught him off guard last week, and when he was hungry, too. I wonder why I see him so much."

I stopped pacing suddenly, the colour immediately draining from my face. Talto hooted uncomfortably as the silence unfolded.

"I think I … I think I understand," past-me whispered. "He's a vampire ... I'm his singer. The dreams were a warning … Death by vampire."

My owl, now terrified, fluttered from the trunk and onto my shoulder, where he repeatedly nibbled at my ear.

"But if that were it," I said, dazed, "if he were a normal vampire, then why has he still not done it? Well, that much I suppose is clear—he's not a normal vampire. His irises aren't red for a start. So he's something different …

"Maybe that's reason enough to hope that he's not going to kill me after all." Memory-Me shook her head and laughed. I could remember the disappointment of that realisation. I'd doubted my friend's guess from the off, but that hadn't stopped me from hoping anyway. After realising the owner of the eyes was a vampire, I'd felt completely ridiculous and frustrated with myself for even entertaining the thought. "Either way, Tal, there's no way that Hermione's romantic assumption was right. What vampire would ever fall in love with a human? More importantly, how could someone as mind-bogglingly perfect as Edward Cullen fall for some one as plain as me?"

"Bella!" Edward growled beside me. "You are not plain!"

"You're biased," I pointed out.

"Of course I am, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Memory-Bella sighed. "So what do we know, Talto?" She held up a fist and looked at the owl, flicking up her thumb. "One: the guy I have literally obsessed over for a year—the guy I was fantasising about when I should've been head deep in homework—" Edward wiggled his eyebrows at this, giving me an 'Oh really?' look, "is actually a vampire named Edward Cullen. Two: I am quite possibly said vampire's Singer, meaning said vampire not only has to control his thirst, but also has to suffer fiery agony whenever he's with me. Three: if point two is correct, that would make Edward Cullen a very good, a very incredible, and a massively self-sacrificing vampire, one who does not, in fact, survive by killing humans, which seems likely, considering his peculiar eye colour. And four: I think my obsession just got a hell of a lot worse."

The memory blurred in an instant, like ink when it bleeds, and I was suddenly experiencing the sensation of being thrust upwards. Edward soared out of the pensieve, and I followed a second later, stumbling out into reality.

I didn't have the Newton Ball on me today, and because I was expecting Edward to catch me, I didn't panic upon losing my balance. That, of course, made my collision with the floor all the more surprising.

"Ooph!" I blinked in shock, completely confused. That was when I heard an angry cry of protest, preceded by a series of thuds.

I looked up to see the Cullen brothers wrestling a few metres away. Emmett and Jasper had Edward pinned to the ground, both attempting to force something into his mouth. Though he did everything he could to resist them, he wasn't strong enough to take on both at once, and inevitably lost the battle.

The two jumped back the second he swallowed, and let out a chorus of victorious cheers.

"Muha ha ha!" Emmett cackled sinisterly, before he and his brother flashed to the open window. They looked back over their shoulders, and the burly vampire cried, "That's for every time you laughed at us whilst we were hung-over!"

Then, they launched themselves out into the black night. Edward shot to his feet, immediately taking off after the guys. What happened next caused my eyes to pop wide.

"I'm going to bring the pain!" he sang, "I'm going to bring the pain!

And when I've done it once with you I'll start all over again!

I'll tear your bones apart, and rip out your dead heart,

Slice off your ears with rusty shears

Because you acted smart."

The air filled with the sound of his angry singing as he bounded into the dark. It took me a moment to realise what they'd done, but when I finally did, I ended up bent over, laughing my head off. I ran to the window soon after, and half-shifted my form, holding my mind between animal and human. Noise exploded in my ears, and though he was probably over a mile away by now, his words still echoed back to me.

"I'll chop off all your toes, and stuff them up your nose

Pop out your eyes because you guys

Are wicked, evil bros.

I'm going to pull your teeth, because you gave me beef

And when you're dead, I'll go to bed

And there'll be no more grief!"

He had a very sour expression when he finally returned, and it took everything I had not to burst into hysterics.

"How are you?" I asked, feeling my lips twitch at the corners.

"I'm mad! I'm mad! I'm really, really mad! My brainless brother is a jerk. Because of him I've gone beserk! So yes, I'm mad! I'm really, really, really, really mad!" His jaw clenched with fury as his song came to an end, and the way he crossed his arms, huffing with downcast eyes, told me that he was probably a little more than embarrassed.

I didn't want Edward to feel humiliated, but at the same time, it was almost impossible to contain my laughter. I walked over to him and slid my arms around his waist, smiling widely.

"Edward, on the grand scale of things, this isn't that bad. So you spend the rest of the night singing? It could be a lot worse. Tomorrow, you'll probably look back on this and laugh your socks off."

He frowned at that, but his grim expression gave way when I flashed him a slitty-eyed, cheesy grin, leaving behind only bashful amusement. He pouted adorably, before his gaze intensified, his eyes filling with a quiet awe as they scanned my face.

I was already totally dazzled before he began his next song, which he delivered slowly, in a low voice that was so delicious, that 'velvet' just didn't cut it as a good enough adjective.

"Dear face that holds no sweeter smile for me, were you not mine, how dark the world would be! I know no light above that cold that could replace loves radiance and shine in your dear face.

"Give me your smile, the love light in your eyes. I could not hold a fairer paradise. Give me the right to love you all the while, my world forever, the sunshine of your smile."

When he'd finally finished, all I could do was gawk. My god, this man was perfect.

"What song was that?"

"Ah, this piece, my dear Bella, was written by a fella … named Frank."

"Frank? Frank Sinatra?"

Edward nodded.

"Wow. I should let you put his music on the i-Pod Charlie bought me."

"I'd do anything for you, dear. Anything! For you mean everything—everything—to meeeee!"

We both burst out giggling at precisely the same moment. Impossibly, Edward's laughter sounded more musical than it usually did. I think he must have been eager to keep me smiling, because when I suggested we should make the most of his predicament, he agreed, and went along with the game I concocted. I'd fire a random word at him, and he'd have to make up a song which included it as part of the verse. He was actually rather good at it, what with his super speedy brain and all. My favourite, out of all the creations he came up with, was by far The Plectrum Song.

He came to the end of one about onomatopoeia, and I applauded loudly, firing roses from my wand. Afterwards, I flipped the pages of the dictionary in my lap until I reached the p's.

"Ummmmm … plectrum!"

Edward fingered his lips in thought. Only three seconds had passed when inspiration reflected itself in his features. He clapped his hands together victoriously and began bobbing from side to side, whilst pretending to shake an invisible set of maracas. I helped him out and conjured a real pair. The tunes from most of his other songs had been original; this one, however, he stole from a Disney flick.

"I think I just lost my plectrum;

It fell into my guitar.

I can't seem to get it out now;

My hand won't go in that far.

The strings in the way don't help me;

They're in the most awkward place.

I'll go find another plectrum;

There might be one in my case.

I lost my plec! Du-du du-du.

I lost my plec! Du-du du-du.

It was ever so shiny,

Tattooed on my right knee,

And on my neck.

Now every time I start to play

That stupid audience always say

'Something sounds funny.

We want back our money,

Or get a new plec!

We had so much fun with that, and by the time his brothers returned, he couldn't seem to care less that he had to answer every question they shot at him in song. Sometimes, when he was addressing the gruesome-twosome, however, he switched languages. Upon questioning him as to why he did this, he told me, "No civil word I choose to throw at those delinquent fools, could show how much I'd really love to kick them in the je—" He broke off before finishing his rhyme, but I kind of got the message. He didn't want me to have to listen to his cussing, so instead, he delivered it in a way that I wouldn't understand.

"How many languages do you know, Edward?"

"Many!" he bellowed, operatically. "I know many! The places I've been are many! I have travelled very faaaaaaar!"

"All over the world?"

The Cullens were all gathered in the living room now. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were sat together on the couch, with Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett at their feet. The three on the floor all sat snickering at their brother's expense; the others, however, tried to refrain from doing so.

"One hundred years is simply too long time to spend all your time in one place," Edward chanted, adopting a bouncy up-tempo rhythm. "And there are too many cultures in this world to limit yourself to one race. I've visited ..."

"Here we go," Alice giggled.

"Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland, and Germany now in one piece. Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Italy, Turkey and Greece.

Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania, Ireland, Russia, Oman. Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.

India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan, Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan. Kampuchea, Malaysia, then Bangladesh (Asia), and China, Korea, Japan!

Mexi—" His song ended abruptly as he and Alice shot to their feet, their easy moods switching to apprehensive in a heartbeat.

"Alice?" Jasper probed anxiously.

"The future," she answered, her eyes never straying from her bronze-haired brother's. "It just disappeared."

I was suddenly very aware of my pulse as it accelerated beneath my skin. Edward pulled me up from my seat and against his body, his arms winding protectively around my back. The Cullens disputed their plan of action, deciding quickly that Carlisle should do all the talking. I really hoped the Wolves would be brave enough to use their human forms, because there was no way we'd be able to explain Edward's present inability to speak normally. Whilst the other continued to converse, so quickly that the words became jibberish to my ears, I was too busy taking in the sounds coming from outside.

I listened with my good ears. Somewhere in the distance—about a mile and a half now, I estimated—eight massive creatures were beating their paws against the earth, getting closer and closer to us with each passing second. As I waited with baited breath for our visitors to arrive, I prayed desperately that both sides would be able to keep their instincts under control. I prayed that this would not be another case of cat versus dog.

What a waste of a prayer…

A/N: Told you it was long. I can't take credit for the Place Name song. I got that from an episode of 'The Animaniacs'. The Plectrum Song, however, I invented when I was a wee teenager. The Torture Song I did write more recently. In case you didn't get it, which I'm sure you did, it's to the tune of 'Under the Sea'. And for all you lovers of the beautiful game, good luck with the World Cup! May the best team win! Until next time, my lovelies!

Glacio = to freeze.

Twitter = twitter(dot)com/aegiggle1