Light's Unfinished Business

They say experience is the best teacher and Angela was inclined to believe that it was so. Experience taught you what to do and what not to do in a particular situation. They taught you the good, the bad and the ugly. She could say that she had seen and been through most everything. One would think that people would listen to her expertise. It was hard to when all you had known was victory.

Angela hated the place they were trapped in. Hated it in the sense that it was a place that could have been if certain people didn't exist. Sure there were a few people that she had enjoyed seeing again even if they weren't from her world. People she loved that died and now she was seeing a version of them right there. It was a harsh thrust into what could have been if she didn't exist mucking up other people's lives. And it was a what could have been if her boys hadn't been born. So she hated the place but she wasn't going to turn her back on people.

Jack said that he wanted to help them. She didn't blame him and she agreed. She was pissed off at the angels in this world and was ready to take them on then and there. She didn't though since she knew the consequences of charging in blindly and without any regard for the consequences. She knew that as well as her best friend Mary. They understood and together they tried to make Jake understand that.

They received news that Michael and his angels were pulling out of his stronghold. It was logical to check it out and see if something was left behind. Basic rules in warfare, but she expressed they do it cautiously. She knew her world Michael and she doubted that there was much of a difference between the two. It was more from the idea that parallel universes had similar beings and all that sci-fi tech babble that would bore the average person. In any case, they went to check it out despite her reservations.

For years, she had told the Winchesters that she was hardly in a position to tell them what to do. They were their own person and they made their own choices. She aimed to treat Jack the same way. The only difference was that she and Mary needed to really counsel him and let him think on their suggestions. She couldn't say know when Jack said that he would protect them, the humans.

It had been a turnaround after this world's Bobby threatened to kill Jack and wanted him gone because he was a Nephilim. It was like in her world in the south, even if you didn't look black, if you looked at where you came from, just one drop might as well make you all black. Of course she wasn't going to let anyone hurt Jack and she made it known, actually scaring and stunning a few of the people. Then Jack proved his worth when he saved them from the angels' attack. It only went to show that loyalty could be like the safety her old friend Mac told her in a fit of bitterness. And in addition, she was able to gain some ground.

It had been difficult to swallow that there were different endings of death for a person based on the choices one made. She had seen hers when Billie decided to have a talk with her. Death had offered her a peek at one but she declined. While most people would like to know the future to avoid a certain path, she knew better than most that fate was something of a fickle lady and yet one you didn't mess with. It made her not sure of how to react when she learned that she had been killed by the angels while defending humans.

Sam had always told her that it was a part of her, and that she gave of herself to others. She always thought of others before her own wellbeing and sometimes to her own detriment. Sam and their daughter came first followed by Dean, and then the others that were important to her. Jack found his way in and she now counted him like he was her own child. In the end, she accepted that theory that even though it was a different universe, there were constants and it looked like she was one of them.

It had been a surprise and a relief to see Kevin again. She knew he wasn't the Kevin of her world but still… It pained her to see what Michael had done and made him do. Fear was a powerful motivator and when you had someone with power… She wanted to curse Michael but she kept that calm demeanor, but in the end it wasn't enough.

The fear along with the promises Michael made, it drove Kevin to do the unthinkable. Being schooled in Enochian, Angela was well aware of what the symbol was on his chest. She held out her hand and warned him, "Kevin, don't."

It had broken her heart when Kevin talked about seeing his mom again. She knew that he had lost her in this world. She remembered how he was in her world, the way he didn't even know if his mother was safe and how she said she would try to find her… Another reason to hate this place. It preyed upon her memories and her feelings.

What ended up happening was that Kevin gave in and pressed his hand to the sigil. Angela knew it was Enochian and the way Kevin had been position, she guessed it was not an angel banishment thing but a more permanent death thing. It was like all the other times, instinct flared as she raised her hand, palm outward and narrowed her look at Kevin. Her tattoos glared their bright light as it seemed to pulse from her hand and the force was felt like a breeze as the loose locks of her hair billowed. She had put herself between Kevin's 'suicide bomb' and Jack and Mary, and it turned out one other. She just stood there and took the brunt of it.

It was one of those things that she never tried to figure out, always treating it like a fluke. Sam and Dean speculated that it was her latent 'angel mojo'. Sam went deeper to venture it was because she was a healer. She didn't care to explore theories but she did venture to practice her abilities, which was why she proved formidable while the three of them were there and served to protect Jack and Mary. Of course the teeth and eye flares helped. But they didn't help in this case.

Aside from Jack and Mary, only one other person survived. It was as Kevin said. It was meant to break not her, but Jack. That was what she feared, but never showed. Jack was young and didn't know and understand all the nuances that being human was. She remembered how he felt when he accidentally killed an innocent and what happened there. She wasn't sure how he was going to handle this one.

Mary had managed to talk to him, but it didn't seem to be enough. She watched before making the decision to approach him. She kneeled beside where he was sitting and said, "It's been a rough day."

"It was horrible," Jack replied, not looking at her. "I said that I would protect them. And I couldn't."

Angela blinked as she looked away for a moment before replying, "And it's not your fault."

"But it is."

"Then blame me for what I did. I stood between you and Kevin and only one survived." Angela adjusted her feet as she continued kneel as she looked at Jack. "Usually I am able to get more than that."

"At least you saved someone."

"And sometimes… it's not enough." Angela looked downward and sighed.

Jack looked at her with a puzzled look. "I don't understand."

Angela looked at Jack and gave a gentle smile. She reached over and gave him a pat on his shoulder. "It's like what Mary told you. Sometimes you can plan for almost every contingency but sometimes it just isn't enough."

"But you have a plan for everything. Sam said you have a backup for the backup…"

Angela chuckled, "True but even then there are times when things don't go well." She made a slight gesture as she gave an example, "Look at how we approached the stronghold. We didn't go barging in but we made a plan. We found surprises and I even thought I would have Kevin back but… he gave us a surprise."

"He killed those people. Why, Mother?" Jack looked at her imploringly.

Angela felt the warmth at the title he gave her. She knew that he wasn't trying to replace his real mother but he saw her as a mother by the way she took care of him. She replied, "Well… he lost his mother. Michael promised him that he would see her again and despite the fear he put Kevin through… Kevin held onto that hope."

"My mom died but I don't want to kill people."

"Because you learned and are learning to cope." Angela rubbed the back of Jack's shoulder. "Humans, people, are complicated when emotions get involved. I can tell you I was not the best when someone near and dear was hurt… or died."

"It still… hurts."

"It still hurts that I wasn't able to save people I loved. Seeing them alive in this world… it's pretty painful."

"Then how do you do it?"

"By remembering that I have people here to share and help. Sam. Dean. Jess. You." She gave a gentle bump to Jack's shoulder accompanied with a grin. "Also because I know I made the best choice I had with the information I had at the time. It's always going to suck in hindsight because you can pour over what ifs but it can break you worse than the actual incident."

Jack pondered over it with a frown. He shook his head slightly, "But… I was winning…"

"Sometimes the best and hardest lessons are learned from defeat." Angela looked at Jack as he turned to look at her. "Up until now you've never really experienced defeat. The feeling when you had a plan and things went wrong and no matter what you do… someone dies. Now you have."

"So what do I do?"

"Have your mourning time and get right back up and keep going. That's what makes the difference. The ability to get back up after you've been knocked down… that's strength and courage." Angela smiled a little more as she leaned in. "It's what I do so I can get back to Sam and my baby." She looked off into the distance and focused on a fixed point. She smiled softly and turned back to Jack and said, "So, what happens now is up to you."

Jack looked at Angela with a wide-eyed expression. "Can I do this?"

"I think you can," Angela replied with a shrug. She adjusted her position so she was still on balance. "I know that you have a fierce desire to please. It's a thing kids look for. Approval from a parent. Just know that you don't need me to approve of you. You've had it since the day you came into my home. I am proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course. There is always room for improvement."

Jack looked at Angela. Despite the continuous time spent in survival mode, she was always one to be positive with her dry sense of humor. She was also watchful and protective. "So… what are we going to do?"

"Well…" Angela looked forward and thought about her words before looking back at Jack. "We can cry about this a little more but… I don't know about you but I intend on finding Michael and giving him a piece of my mind."

"And you're not afraid of him?"

"I'm pissed at him," Angela replied honestly. "It is scary going up against angels but… I am not scared for me. I'm scared for those that matter and people I promised to protect and help. And I have fought angels before."

"I know. Sam mentioned it a couple of times."

"Then you know that I don't have a problem with it."

"But I don't want to lose you."

"I can't promise you that nothing bad is going to happen," Angela replied, "It's war and I've seen a lot of it. I can promise that I am going to stay with you until we fix this and then find a way home."

Jack looked at Angela and thought about it. He was upset about what happened and he knew she was too, but she was not letting it get her down. She was ready to get back up and keep fighting. Even with her family waiting for her, she fought with the danger looming ahead. He closed his mouth and nodded. He could do this. They could finish this and then go home.

A/N: Angie has a conversation with Jack after what Kevin did to the humans. Tag to Unfinished Business.