Chapter 21: Boston&BrokenHope

*Ian Jacobs*

I sat in the infirmary with Carter all night. They gave him some kind of medicine that knocked him out cold as they worked on his leg. It was a bloody mess. His knee all banged up and it was worse off than I thought as a huge chunk had been practically ripped out of his thigh. They wrapped it up as best as they could but he was going to have a nasty scar. They had sent some soldiers back to the mill to clean up the mess and identify the dead. Skylar, Roland and Alex Marks's bodies were not accounted for. Everyone else had been killed by the blast. I was so sure Skylar had been right in front of that blast. If she was then there would be nothing left but...maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she had somehow managed to get away. But then why wouldn't she have come into the city? She's smart, she would have known to come towards Boston.

But even that didn't make sense. If she had survived the blast the first thing she would have done was run for Carter. Run for all of her friends. But as I looked for Carter there was no sign of her so I can only assume one thing. If she hadn't been killed, she must have been captured.

The rebels were written all over this, even before the unit came back to report the dead I knew it. And when they did they had said they searched what was left of the mill only to find a shredded flag. The American Flag. So it just affirmed my suspicions.

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened to Roland and Alex. Neither of them had been close enough to be affected by the blast because both of them had been just behind me, on the left side of the wagon. At least, I think that's where they had been. My head had been hit pretty hard by flying debris and it was hard to differentiate between what I was remembering and what I only thought had happened. All I know is the second after I picked myself up I ran for Carter. I hadn't even given Skylar a second thought until Carter screamed her name. I should have looked for her, maybe if I had he would have been more cooperative. Maybe he would have been worse, who knows?

"Hey"

I dart my eyes away from my hands as they're clasped and resting on the edge of the mattress. Carter's awake and smiling at me. But he grimaces and his smile fades.

And I know...I know it's because he remembers Skylar is gone. Whether or not she's actually dead doesn't matter, she's not here. And that pains him more than the his physical wounds.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I ask softly and scoot my chair closer to him as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. He grips his rib cage in pain.

"Terrible" he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes. "So that wasn't just a dream. That really happened?"

"Damn, they must have given you a shit load of drugs"

"My head feels like it's going to burst" he groans and drags his fingers across his forehead. He glances around the room, squinting his still adjusting eyes.

"How the hell did I get here?" he turns back to me. "Are we in Boston?"

"Yeah I carried your sorry ass the whole damn way" I almost laugh but realize that would be inappropriate considering the circumstances. "You passed out because of blood loss about two miles outside the city. Luckily a patrol was close by and helped me get you here"

"Did you send a unit back?"

"Yeah" I nod and realize what he'll ask next.

"Did they...Did they find her body?" his eyes stare back into mine. Almost full of hope, like them finding her body will give him some kind of closure. As terrible as that would be for him, maybe he needs it. He needs to bury her and move on.

"No" I tell him gently. "Just the newbies"

"Marks? Roland?" he looks at me more nervously.

"Their bodies weren't found either" I answer.

"So they could be alive" he leans forward despite the obvious pain in his side. "She could be..."

"No Carter" I say firmly. "Don't do that. You'll drive yourself crazy"

"But she could be-"

"She's dead, don't do this to yourself. It'll just be more painful"

Carter lies back against the pillows again and stares blankly at the ceiling. "I tried so hard" he whispers, "to not care about her. To not let myself get close to her. But that's the kind of person she is...was. She just draws you in"

"Yeah I know" I smile gently.

"Maybe it started because yeah, she was a girl" he slightly laughs, "because she was just...so beautiful. But that wasn't what I fell in love with"

"Of course not" I laugh at him. "You've never been that kind of guy"

"If it hadn't been for her I would have killed myself a long time ago"

The comment hits me hard and I don't know what to say as I just stare at him for a long moment. "But...you won't now, right?" I ask him hesitantly.

"No" he shakes his head and meets my eyes. "Because you were right. It's not what she would have wanted of me"

"She was good for you" I whisper, "don't let that change because she's gone"

"How can't I when she's gone?"

"You've still got me" I reply, "and if i'm not enough then I don't know why the hell i've been bothering with you all these years"

"Sorry Ian" he studies my face intently. "I didn't mean...you're like a brother to me I hope you know that"

"It's okay, James" I nod. "You loved her and after everything you've already been through"

"Where's a bottle of whiskey when a guy needs one?" he laughs. But I don't.

"No"

"What?"

"You aren't going to drink her off" I say. "She would have hated you drinking her away. This is not how she would want you to cope"

"I don't care" he snaps. "I need-"

"Fine. But you better understand that if this is how you're handling yourself," I snap, "then I can't be around you. Because I don't want to drink till I forget her. Making myself forget her would be insulting"

I can see tears in his eyes. I don't think i've ever seen him cry so much before. I don't think i've ever seen him cry at all before this, not even when we were kids.

"I can't get it out of my head" he says, "the thought of her dying that way. I need to forget, Ian"

I stare blankly at him as he cries harder. "I have to forget"

"You can't just forget her" I say, "something like that it doesn't just go away with a drink"

He stares at me, his eyes puffy and still clouded with tears. He lays back and closes his eyes, he doesn't say anymore but I know he won't listen to me. I know that the first thing he'll do when he gets off bed rest is find the closest bar. I know I have to be there for him when he does, and I will be.

But I also can't condone this, knowing that it'll destroy him.

I walk back towards head quarters. Intel was sent out to Philly and we were waiting for Monroe's reply. Everyone was on edge. If the rebels had been able to hit so close to home what was stopping them from attacking us inside? They had been able to plant a bomb because they knew our route. If they knew our route that meant one of us was a traitor. Which just left the question open to who?

Three bodies were never recovered. Skylar, Roland and Marks. Since Skylar had been right in front of the blast there was no way she was the traitor. She wouldn't knowingly place her self there to die.

Then Marks. I didn't want to believe Alex could have done this. He may be an ass hole on occasion but if people knew how he grew up they'd understand. He could never do this to the people who practically raised him. The militia was his home, his family. He would never do this.

And then there was Roland. Roland could definitely be it if it wasn't for the fact he was so damn smug about being such a high up officer. But then again he did rise surprisingly fast and that has always been odd to me. I knew Carter didn't trust him, but he didn't trust him for completely different reasons. There were no red flags to say he had been a rebel traitor. Well, except that these rebel traitors seem to all be coming from the Somerville training camp. Which didn't make sense considering its reputation. If they were infiltrating training camps to push their way in why choose Somerville?

Then it hits me...The bombings on Boston a few months back. They had been ready for us as soon as we got close to Boston. Choosing Somerville. They were close.

Wherever these rebels were hiding it was somewhere in Massachusetts and I can guarantee at least within a fifty mile radius of Boston.

I brought this inquiry to Captain Baker who's unit had arrived a week before us. He agreed with my assessment and sent another runner with a letter to Monroe of the news. We both knew he'd send word back about searching the area. Maybe even to disband the Somerville training camp till this all blew over.

I wondered how General Monroe would react about Carter almost getting blown up. If he realized it was a kidnapping attempt. Sometimes I wondered if he cared for Carter at all.

"Lt. Jacobs" Captain Baker called me to attention after he finished writing the note for the runner.

"Yes sir?"

"I hope you realize just how valuable you've been to us" he smiles. "You've saved Captain Monroe and provided us with a good lead to find the rebel bastards who tried to take his life"

"I was just doing my job, sir" I reply.

"And you've always done you're job extraordinarily well" he nods. "I had a talk with James"

"Oh...sir?" I furrow my eye brows in confusion, not just about why he would tell me this. But why he was referring to Carter as James.

"He told me to add in the letter," he smiles wide, "that you should be promoted to Major. Roland's old position since his...absence"

"I don't know what to say"

"How about a thank you?"

I turn around to see Carter standing in the doorway. He was in full uniform again, looking much healthier but even as he walks towards me I can see him limping and grimacing painfully with each step. He tries his best to hide it, but he can't fool me.

"You deserve it, Ian" he smacks me on the shoulder. He smiles. But I can see it's strained and broken. Skylar is still all over his mind and in his eyes.

"Thank you, sir" I try to stay formal as Captain Baker is still there.

"Please Ian, don't ever call me sir" Carter sighs. "You're getting your own unit, Ian. Better get used to people calling you sir"

"I am?"

"Yes" Captain Baker interjects. "We have quite a number of men staggering around here. You're gonna show them the ropes and get them out and on the road as soon as possible"

"Yes, sir"

"You'll report to me tomorrow morning" Baker says, "I'll assign you your unit and you'll be off in a few days"

Baker walks away, leaving me and Carter alone in the war room that was once the admissions office. The letters are still faintly etched in the foggy glassed window of the door. I use to think, if things hadn't turned out the way the did ten years ago this is the kind of place I would have loved to study. Right on the river, but in the heart of the city. My dad's favorite baseball team right around the corner. We could have gone to games together. I could have gotten a degree in Education. Even as a kid teaching was something I'd always wanted to do. It was strange that I was getting the chance now, only instead of teaching how to write Essays I'd teach men how to kill.

"I thought you'd be happy about this?" Carter says suddenly.

"I am"

"I know you too well, Ian" he retorts, "you aren't happy"

"I just thought it would be a while before getting promoted" I shake my head and shrug my right shoulder slightly. "That's all"

"You mean you thought you'd have more time to babysit me" he says sharply. "I'm fine"

"Why don't I believe that?"

"Monroe wants me back in Philly" he says quickly. "It seems with things going to crap a second time with me right in the middle..."

"Is he demoting you again?"

"No" Carter shakes his head. "But he thinks it might be better if I stick close to home for a while"

"I agree" I say. "But...just remember what I said? Take care of yourself"

"If I promise to not be a drunk then you have to promise me something, Ian"

"Anything"

"Don't ever mention Skylar to me again"

Yay for Ian's POV!

What do you think so far? Do you think Skylar will give into the Rebels? Or do you think she's strong enough to push through whatever they have to throw at her?

And what about Carter? Do you think he can get past what he thinks happened to Skylar? Or do you think Ian is right and that it could possibly destroy him, throwing him back to what he was before she came into his life?

I'm gonna try to do more in Ian's POV to change things up. Maybe even Jason since i'll be bringing him back soon ;)

On a side note, what do you think of Wattpad? I'm thinking about posting there as well.