21: Knowledge
"Mom, why are you doing this?"
Tobias reclined against the building and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. He slid to the ground, his leg flaring in pain.
"You don't have to come with me, you know," Christin replied, shaking her hair out of her face. She traced a circle on her sleeve with a small piece of charcoal and in a flash of blue lightning the tear had mended itself.
"You didn't answer my question," he snorted.
"Because I'm confused. I just feel really really lost right now. I'm not sure why, but it feels like my heart's been poisoned. It's much easier to fight on the streets... it's like a sort of novocaine for my heart," she sighed.
"Because of James?" he pressed.
"Yes, because of James. I'm still as weak as I was when I was a teenager. I can't stand up for myself, I can't protect myself. I can't do a goddamned thing," she spat.
"But you're protecting us. Me and Dusk and Dawn and Ai and..."
"At what cost to myself?" she interrupted. "Every time that man climaxes it's like he's killing me. His seed is like poison to me. I am doing my best to protect you and the others but i'm starting to fall apart in the process. I know that I'm going to die one day but this situation makes me want to kill myself!"
He slapped her face and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"Mother, listen to me. You must never, ever talk about taking your life. Don't even think about it. I'm not saying this just because you have low self-esteem. There are people who need you, Mom. Not just me or the twins or your sister. Everyone needs you. I know damn well you hate being told that but it's the truth. Ever since you started obeying that cretin's commands, the murders have stopped. Don't you get it yet? His main target wasn't Dad, it is you," Tobias snapped.
"Me?" she repeated stupidly.
"You. You were the one who killed his brother. You are the one he's after. He knew that if he found the Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of the People, he would find you."
"So... you're going to blame me too, are you?" she whispered. "It's fine. I accept the blame. Ever since I came here I've caused nothing but trouble."
She brushed a few stray strands of black hair back where they belonged.
"I've finally figured it out, though."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Figured out what?"
"My role in this bleak tragedy I'm supposed to call a life. I'm the OC. I'm just one of those stupid Mary-Sues I read about online all those years ago. I suddenly appear and become the catalyst for nearly everything. I wreck people's lives and destroy anything I touch. It's no wonder people are out to get me. They suck up to me, call me all these fancy names and shower me with glory, when really they all just wish I would die. I'm sick of being the catalyst, the damsel in distress, the foolish girl who doesn't know better. Well, the masses will get their wish in due course, won't they?" she laughed dryly.
"Mother..." he started, his voice threatening.
"What, I'm gonna die anyway. With this damned disease I got," she grunted. "What does it matter how and when?"
"It matters to me! I don't know what an 'OC' is, but you're still my mother! Say anything you want, but it won't change the fact that you're still someone I admire and respect very much," he spat before turning on his heel.
She watched his blond hair glint in the streetlights. His jacket was torn and stained with dirt and blood, much like her own clothes. The scrape on her cheek stung slightly. She continued to mend her clothing with transmutation circles. Now that she had lost a majority of her power, alchemy was easier for her to perform. Her heart stirred slightly.
"Damn it all. My heart's a machine, right? Machines can't feel things... so why do I feel this way?" she cried to the empty streets. She heard a groaning down the street. That meant the band of thugs she and Tobias had clobbered earlier.
"My, my, my, you certainly are something," James' voice sneered.
"Mom. Mom, you have to run," Tobias interjected, worry lacing his voice like a single thread through a bolt of fabric.
In the glow of the streetlight, Tobias's hair shone like gold. A glint of silver accompanied it. A knife, dangerously sharp, poised close to the boy's throat. James smirked as she got to her feet.
"Let him go. Your business is with me, is it not?" she demanded.
"Well, Fairy, it's all a matter of perspective. I've heard that one of the most painful things in the entire human experience is the loss of a child. He's so young, too. Not quite a man, but no longer a boy. That horrid in-between time is the worst part of growing up, wouldn't you agree? Not yet knowing who you are and desperately wishing you could be who you once were. The simplicity of childhood..." he nicked Tobias's throat, causing the boy to grunt in pain. "I'll be doing you a favor, you know... preserving his youth. Can't you just picture his funeral? I can see a grassy knoll and lots of white flowers. Your favorites, no?"
"If you think I'm going to stand by and let you threaten my son..." she started.
"What? You'll kill me? Sandpaper me to death like my brother? In case you didn't get the memo, sweetheart, that made you a murderer," James spat. "Because you're so famous, the military has overlooked it. Called my brother's tragic death a 'strange disappearance' you know. You should never have come here you tramp! If you hadn't have shown up, my brother would still be alive! Aislinn would still belong to us! This blond bastard of yours wouldn't even exist!"
"Don't listen to him, Mom! It's a trick, he's trying to get you to let your guard down! Just ignore it, I'll be fine! You need to get help before you do anything else!" Tobais cried, a thin trickel of blood working its way down his neck from where the blade had nicked him.
"Take your filthy hands off my son!" she snapped, striding forward and lifting her hand to strike the mass-murderer.
"You think you can fight me?" James laughed haughtily. He pushed Tobias aside and struck Christin, using enough force to send her to the ground. "You think you can challenge me?"
"I know I can. If anything happens to that boy, Ed will have your head!" she spat blood out of her mouth and forced herself to her knees.
"But he's not here, is he? Chickened out and ran away with his brother. It was quite the lucky break for me. I just had to charm your sister the way I used to and you were right there in the palm of my hand. It's not like he's going to come to your rescue this time, Fairy. He's off playing Prince Charming in an alternate dimension," James sneered, kicking her in the face.
"You're wrong," she spat quietly, spitting blood out of her mouth once more. "He's not like that... he can't be..."
"Quit playing the innocent teenager card. Like it or not, you're a grown-up now. You can't keep relying on other people to clean up your messes. You're not some lovestruck young girl anymore, alright? Grow up and act like the adult you're supposed to be. You want to set a good example for him, don't you?" James asked, grabbing Tobias's face.
"Don't touch him..." she mumbled under her breath.
"Some mother you are," James snorted haughtily.
"Shut up! My mother is a wonderful person, the kind you could never even hope to dream about becoming!" Tobias shouted.
"Did I ask for your opinion?" he demanded, striking the boy. He staggered backwards and hit the wall of a nearby building, slumping to the ground.
"You bastard!" she screamed, forcing herself to her feet.
James grabbed her head and slammed her into the ground.
"You want to fight on the streets like some delinquent child? Be my guest. I'll give you a real street brawl..." James snickered.
"Toby, go home. you don't need to see this..." her voice rasped.
"No, by all means, stay. It should be very educational for you," James urged, climbing on top of Christin. He kept one arm firmly pressed against her shoulders.
"I'm still not strong enough... Master..." Tobias heard his mother mumble.
He could see it. It was as clear as if he was standing right in the middle of it, though it was a memory. He saw his mother when she was younger, perhaps in her teens or early twenties. Her hair was long and streaked with purple like he always remembered it. It kept falling in her face as she moved, easily dodging the tan skinned fists and feet. Sweat dripped down her face as she counter-attacked, her own limbs moving like liquid. Sadly, she wasn't fast enough. Someone chopped at the back of her neck and she fell to the gound.
"Better..." a reedy voice commented.
"But not good enough?" she huffed.
"Not good enough. You use too much power and leave yourself with nothing in reserve. You must learn to channel your power. A good warrior knows how to use their energy and powe wisely. You are just striking blindly," the voice chided playfully.
"Brutum Fulmen," she scoffed, hauling herself into a sitting position.
"What?"
"It means striking blindly, senseless thunder, etcetera," she explained. "I'm just a bunch of raw ore. It's your job to refine me, Master."
"That is something I cannot argue, Silent Dreamer. Or maybe I ought to call you Blind Striker instead?"
"Very funny, Master," she laughed. "I'm not blind enough for that; I can still see where I'm going when I walk. Actually, I'm less than not blind. Since you've been teaching me, I can see in the dark now. I've learned so much and I am very grateful."
"You must use caution, young one. You are still but a child and there is much you need to learn. I did not wish to be the one to tell you this, but I fear I am the only one who can."
"Tell me what?" she asked.
"You are not a Kali'rah. Your power exceeds even the most powerful in all history. It... it is like you are a god."
"Goddess," she corrected.
"Don't correct me."
"Sorry."
"You don't wonder why you are so powerful?"
"I guess I never really thought about it. Things have been really crazy since that first Jump..."
"You are a vessel, child. Your body is a container for some sacred power because the true bearer could not bear the power. This power you have is only borrowed. You have powers of your own, of course, but you are using this other person's power to enhance your own. Like everything else, there is a toll you must pay for this... abuse of power."
"There's more, isn't there?" she asked warily.
"There is, but it is far from pleasant."
"Tell me, please. So I can know, if not do something about it."
"There is nothing you can do - it is preordained - but I shall tell you anyway."
"Thank you, Master."
"There will be great bloodshed, war, betrayal, loss, adventure, romance, and death. Much, much death. You cannot prevent most of this, though you will try. The betrayal: devastating. The bloodshed: unavoidable. The war: cataclysmic. All the while your life will be in peril, especially while you house this extra power. Unfortunately, you will not be able to remove the extra power until the predetermined time. You will continue to abuse your power, even if it seems like you aren't. You will not try to avoid the abuse either. Your loss will hurt you greatly. You will lose your flesh and blood twice in bloodshed, one by contract. Your contract will be lost in time as well. It will return, but the loss will make room for an invader. This invader shall try to create flesh and blood, but will not succeed because you will have none left for him to take. You will cause many deaths, some by your hand, some not directly. Your love will be tested under the worst conditions and you will come very close to losing it forever. You will return to the Lifestream shortly after resolving the issue with the contract but even then you will not be at peace."
"So... let me get this straight... I'm going to lose two children in battle (one killed by my husband), my husband is going to leave for a while and someone will take advantage of that absence and cause me to have an affair, trying to sire his brats but it won't work because I'm going to end up barren after X amount of childen, then we will have issues because of a prolonged separation and the forced affair. The issues will be resolved but I'll die shortly afterwards, after I've been the catalyst for some cataclysmic event that costs thousands upon thousands of people their lives."
"Your cleverness is something I admire," the wrinkled old man who owned the reedy voice smiled.
"Talk about a dready fortune. So... do you know who this future husband is going to be? I'm pretty sure the betrayal is the recent issue with Alphonse... I think I've seen plenty of the romance already and my entire life for the past four years has been one big adventure. Come on, can't you tell me, please? You know all that stuff so you've gotta know who I'm gonna end up married to!" she whined.
"And ruin the surprise? Don't be silly. I've told all I can tell. Part of living a full life is not knowing what it's going to throw at you. I've given you the basics; the rest you must figure out on your own," the man smiled wisely.
"That's so unfair," she pouted.
"Life is unfair," the man nodded.
"But..." she prompted.
"But what?" he asked.
"It sounded like you were going to say something else after that."
"I was?" he asked. "Silly me, this old brain of mine... things do tend to slip occasionally, you know."
"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled, standing up and getting into a fighting position.
"But life always makes up for what is unfair with something the exact opposite," he said before walking away. "You truly are a godsend, Silent Dreamer. You will bring about all that I've mentioned... but you will also make things right again, and make them better than before."
His mother smiled and resumed practicing her fighting style, trying to restrain her strength and move as easily as possible.
He ran. He didn't care that he had lef this mother behind; he felt sick to his stomach.
"She knew..." he thought bitterly.
"Everything... The war... Rio and Marcus's deaths... now... she knew everything all along. She kenw it was going to happen... so why didn't you tell anyone? Not even Dad knew about anything until it happened..." he choked on the words, bringing a hand to his throat. Breathing was suddenly becoming difficult.
How could she? How could she keep something like that a secret? Something that huge... she knew about their entire lives together! How could she keep something that life-changing a secret, especially from him when he had his ability to read minds?
"Why did you let yourself suffer all by yourself?" he asked around tears as they streamed from his eyes.
"Nice boy, really. A bit jumpy, but really nice. He takes after his father, that same mommy complex... I wonder if he'll try to bring you back too, after I break you," James snorted as he buckled his belt.
"Hard to say..." she mumbled. She knew why he ran away. She had shown him that memory on purpose. She had to tell someone. All these years she had kept it to herself... the fact that she knew about everything... that she'd known all along and done her best to prevent them from knowing until the last possible moment.
"Tomorrow morning, ten o'clock. Bring Toby here, and especially the twins; I'm just dying to meet them," James ordered. "Oh... dress appropriately, please. It's so much more difficult if you wear pants, you know? Do as I say and they won't be harmed."
She lowered her gaze. It didn't look like she had much of a choice. Again, she had to get hurt to protect the ones she cared about.
"Yes."
Area 51 1/2 4-30-11: getting downright brutal here. James is such a creep. I wanna punch him in the head. Unfortunately for me (and several characters) he has to stick around for a bit longer.
Um... not entirely sure where the memory came from. I guess I kinda thought it'd add to the drama of the story. Book three... I'm trying to make it more dramatic than the other two books. And the title 'Godsend' finally becomes... kinda clear.
Sorry about the huge delay. I don't know why, but I just stopped writing for a bit. Call it writer's block... actually, that's what I think I had. Well, and life's been kinda hectic lately. I've had all this stuff to do for my Senior Project (WHICH I FINALLY FINISHED!) because our portfolios are due this coming Wednesday and we have to arrange ALL the paperwork we've done and I still need to take a few more pictures before I can turn the damned thing on Monday for extra credit. I finally got my computer's class grade up, from an F to a B- thank you very much! Now I just need to get my yearbook grade up and finish Apex and I'll be able to graduate! And I picked up my prom dress today and am impressed I can get into it because they tailored the straps along with the hem and I kept thinking I'd either rip the straps or get strangled as I wriggled into the thing and it took my like, five minutes to zip the thing up for some reason and I realized that I've gained a few pounds (I went from 115 to 125: NOT GOOD) and my kid brother's birthday is tomorrow and my dad's coming out to see me graduate and I have to leave the day after cuz he's stupid like that and I have to go to Saturday school next week otherwise I won't be able to go to Grad Night to Disneyland and I tried to go today but no one was there so I obviously got the day wrong so I hafta try next week, which is actually the date written on my detention slip. Well, it's filled out for saturday school but there are spaced for wtiting out detentions too, so I call it... well, actually I called it a 'summons' because it sounded cooler, but you know, whatever.
Whew, okay, so that's what's been going on in real life. Sorry, that was a really long run-on paragraph.
I also got the idea for a Shugo Chara/FMA crossover, which I actually wrote two chapters of because I needed to get the beginning of the story down before I forgot because I actually really like Shugo Chara and got the opening theme song off iTunes. Oh! I also bought Vampire Knight episode one, Black Butler episode one, and Trinity Blood episode... thirteen, I think. I just really wanted the next one (Ibelis part 2) because of Aaron. Speaking of which, I haven't heard his voice as of late. You know, because of his voice maturing Maxey had to take over as Alphonse's voice for Brotherhood but Aaron did the voice of young Hohenheim and Al as a teenager and that episode comes next in the series but I only have up to part three and I really want to hear his voice now! I tried buying the episode off iTunes, but couldn't find it and got really depressed, so I bought TB because he did the voice of Ion. I love how his voice cracks like that, you know what I'm talking about? It's just... the perfect voice-cracking. I love his voice and Todd Haberkorn's.
Wow, I am in a ranting mood today. My most sincere apologies, everyone.
So... you want the Shugo chara/FMA crossover? Even if you don't I'm gonna post it, just like that FY/FMA crossover I mentioned whenever ago because they're my stories and I can do whatever I want with them so there.
Whew, I need to update more often...