John cleared his throat, "Then, frankly speaking, I'm an immortal god who endured being cast to earth by my vengeful partner when I told her I wanted to seek a better life. I then wandered the world in the intervening years searching for the person I love so I can escape immortality and live a mortal life."
"That's it then?"
He nodded, "It's the most succinct summary I can offer."
Anna frowned, as if searching her mental storage for a word she thought could best cap the definition he just gave her. "So you're a guardian angel?"
"Of sorts."
"To whom?"
He lowered his voice, "I would've thought that was quite obvious."
Anna's jaw dropped and her face ran the gambit of expressions before she settled on one. "You've here for me?"
"I've been there for you, twice now, and I'm hoping third time's the charm."
"So you've what?" Anna shrugged, "Chased me through time waiting for me to come back to you?"
"In a way."
"What way?"
"There's a Buddhist and Hindu belief that the soul participates in a cycle to find nirvana and only leaves the cycle once enlightenment is reached."
"Then my soul's trapped in that cycle?"
John nodded, "I believe most souls are but I've only ever cared about yours."
"And you've traveled the long, slow road as what? A weary traveler?"
"Yes." Anna went to speak but jumped when a crash of thunder sounded from outside the car. John tilted forward over the steering wheel to see the damage and whistled. "Best get you inside."
"No," She grabbed his arm, pulling him back from where he prepared to open the door. "I need you to tell me what happened."
"When?"
"Those other times." She swallowed, "Don't think my mind hasn't already jumped to a few less than savory conclusions or put together that the women you mentioned earlier were me."
John hung his head, "They weren't you as you are now. They were you as you were then."
"What's the difference? If it's the same soul why wouldn't it be me over and over again?"
"Because your life experiences and theirs are worlds apart." John snorted a laugh and tried to cover it when Anna raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "Sorry, I just realized I should've said centuries or decades apart since we're not hopping planets or dimensions."
"I'm sure, in the grand scheme of an undiscovered universe, there's potential for that." Anna put a hand to his chin, forcing him to look at her. "What happened to me, those other times?"
"You died in my arms."
She sucked in a breath, "The time with the baby?"
"Bled out from a gunshot wound inflicted by your husband."
Her eyebrows practically brushed her hairline. "We were having an affair?"
"He was syphilitic and dying anyway. At the time we didn't think much of the morality of the decision."
"What?" Anna scoffed, "I was that enamored with you I couldn't wait for my husband to bite the big one before I jumped your bones?"
"I wouldn't put it that way but I thoroughly enjoyed it."
Anna's eyes narrowed and John shifted a moment later when she gave him an unforgivingly long appraisal. "And the time before that?"
"A general we'd jailed for treason broke free and stabbed you to death before burning the castle down around us."
"You survived."
"Sounded almost like an accusation."
"More an observation."
John shrugged and pointed to his chest, "I'm immortal, remember?"
Anna turned back in her seat, facing the windshield now thundering the echo of rain falling in sheets over the car. Her voice, free of the suspicion and confusion of a moment ago, seemed almost too quiet for the noise outside when she finally spoke again "Why do it?"
"What?"
She faced him, "It must've hurt, not just he first time but then to do it again, to watch me die. To hold me as I died. Why do it?"
"Why not do it?"
"Because it's like cutting yourself." Anna tapped her arm. "Many people think that cutting, as a practice, is a form of control and it is. But I've treated enough cutters, recommended them to enough treatment centers, to know they do it for the euphoria. That moment of pleasure-tipped-pain that allows them to ride an addictive high."
"You think I'm addicted?"
"I think you're self-flagellating by trying to continuously find me." Anna patted her whole hand to her chest. "When you took this job I was dying in front of you. Without anyone else involved I would've died in your arms all over again and then what?"
"I would've waited to find you again."
"You would've taken this mad carousel back around and around until what? The world ends."
"If that's what it took."
Anna thumped her head back on the seat, closing her eyes in frustration John could feel wafting off of her. "Why?"
"Why not?"
"Because, John Bates," Anna sniffed, wiping at her eyes and breaking John's heart in the same motion. "I'm not worth that. I'm not worth you losing yourself to a helpless crusade."
"I disagree."
"Obviously." She threw her hand up, "Even with knowing I'm not dying of cancer I'm still dying, John. The poison in my body might never been removed and I'll deteriorate before your eyes again."
"Then I'll wait." John took her hand, holding as delicately as he might a ceramic figurine. "Because there's nothing I'd rather do than love you all over again. Again and again and again. No matter the pain, no matter the suffering, no matter the cost because there's nothing better than knowing I can love you all over again."
She covered his hand with hers, staring at it before meeting his eyes. "Which me, John. You've known three already."
"Each one is you, Anna." His other hand caressed her cheek, fingers warming her in a sensation she thought long lost to her. "Each one is a little different. One is a little more dignified, the other a bit more defiant, and you… you're a touch more delicate. But each one is you."
His eyes studied hers, "Appearances aside, I see your soul each time I meet you Anna. I see the 'you' that is all and none of the 'yous' I've met so far. They're all a part of a grander whole I could spend eternity unraveling."
"And will you?" Anna leaned toward him, her voice a whisper again, "Will you get to know the me that's right here?"
"If you give me the chance."
Their lips were almost touching, her fingers like ice in his but the cold grip keeping him locked in the moment. "Then we'll both experience the euphoria of risking the deepest of wounds."
"And what are those?"
"Love we're doomed to lose." Anna's lips lighted over his gently and John succumbed to it.
Given his experience with the different Annas he wanted her to take the lead. As he said, each was different and therefore he would respond to what his Anna wanted. The Anna in front of him. The Anna he refused to lose this time.
The shiver in her body could have been the moment or the cold. The tremor in her hands could have been her excitement or her body's developed frailty. The chill to her lips the atmosphere of the car or poor circulation. Whatever the reasons John knew he did not want their first kiss- and hopefully first tryst- in her car.
He broke the kiss, smiling at her confusion, and stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. "I think we should continue this inside. Where you won't freeze to death and where I won't be tempted to see how far back this seat goes."
"Presumptuous of you, Mr. Bates."
"I figured there were two ways to read the signs you were giving me. One, passionate desire or two, you're cold and this car isn't helping."
Anna grinned at him, "I might be tempted to submit that both answers will be taken as correct. Though I don't know how passionate I can be in my state."
"I'll go slow."
"I'm sure you will." Anna put a hand on her door, "So let's not delay shall we?"
If he had a stopwatch he might've broken a record for how fast he was out of the car and around to her side of it. John pulled her door clear and helped her out, offering his coat as a pitiful cover against the rain. His other arm went to her waist, in an attempt to help hold her up, and they sprinted as fast she her legs could go toward the house. Admittedly it was not very fast and John eventually dropped his coat to sweep Anna into his arms to carry her the rest of the way.
The cavernous house echoed with their poorly suppressed laughter and John set Anna back on her feet. Their smiling faces finally registered one another and John stopped. Even as an immortal he was no great student of time but he could swear it practically slowed as they stood in the entryway, dripping wet all over the floor, and trying to breath with the beats of a clock instead of like racehorses.
Her tentative hand came up to his face, smoothing over skin and raindrops, and rested so his jaw sat in the palm of her hand. His own hand covered hers, warming the frigid appendage between the dual heats. She sighed, closing her eyes to feel him, and tipped his head so their foreheads rested together.
"I'll warn you," Anna licked over her lips, pulling back to better look in his eyes. "I haven't done this in awhile so I might not be at my best."
"If you think it's been some time for you," John snickered, using his other hand to trace a ring through the water gathering near her throat above the neck of her jumper. "I'll have you know that I've waited over a hundred years for this."
"Then we'd best waste no more time."
"Best not." John ran his hand down her arm to her face while he other cupped her free cheek. When he cradled her head in his hands John dipped down to kiss her.
Her fingers slipped from his cheek to his neck, digging for purchase there while her other hand slipped a bit on his jacket to grip at his elbow. John kept his movements gentle, aware of her condition, and tried to match their desires with adoration instead of aggression. She gave over to it and took a momentary break in their embrace to whisper.
"Please take me upstairs."
John lifted her, arms looping over his shoulders and her head resting under his chin, and ascended the grand staircase. They dripped all the way to her room, giggling to one another about the distinctive trail they would leave. But once her door closed they entered a sanctuary.
Resting her on the bed, John shucked off his jacket and worked off his shoes and damp socks before going to her. Kicked her own shoes off the end of the bed and sat up to remove her jumper just as John's hands rested on hers. They did not exchange words, only expressions as John's nod answered her eyebrow raised in question.
He started at the foot of the bed, drawing first one sock and then the other off her feet. She reclined back, body vibrating with anticipation and- if he were honest about their situation- a bit of cold. John sensed it and moved to the heater on the wall, turning it up before returning to her side.
His eyes never left hers as he traced his fingers up her legs. Legs that held less muscle definition and mass than they used to but still tingled under his attentions. Or over her stomach, under her jumper, where his face fell with each distinct rib he counted. Or to her shoulders and thin arms as he lifted the spotted and damp wool from her body.
Now when she shivered John was sure it was his gaze. The room, heated by a custom-made heater Mary insisted Anna needed and had John install when Anna went to a treatment so she could not object, toasted now so all the rising hairs on Anna's arms were because John's fingers glided there. Or the quiver in her thigh because he risked a kiss through her jeans.
He kept his motions soft, helping her feel the sensations of sensuality where he was sure she only felt the results of pawing, selfish desire before. John had to bite back his own rage when he realized the last man Anna risked in her bed or on her body tried to steal that bed and poison that body. In a moment John realized what he wanted to do more than anything.
Slipping a hand behind her head, John brought his lips to hers. Anna responded, trying to force him quickly, but John slowed them. He closed his eyes, feeling deep within himself and touched that part of him that made him a god. That part of him that made him immortal, untouchable, and doomed to the endless cycle of watching those he loved fade and die while he soldiered on. The part of him he loosened enough to give to her.
Anna broke the kiss, John watching how her body reacted. When her back arched and she shuddered he felt the fear like a bucket of ice down his spine. But a moment later Anna turned to him, smiling, and insisted his lips meet hers again.
Even in a few minutes John could sense her body healing. The hum under his fingers as he carefully slipped the button on her jeans loose and slid the zipper down told him as much. The sighs and returned caresses that held warmth and strength encouraged him. And when she pulled her vest over her head to leave her bare but for her knickers and bra John could almost see the glow on her skin from it. Different from the glow he wanted to leave there but enough for now.
He set to memorizing her again. Memories of previous encounters played like old maps for him, setting the course for his hands and lips in touches and massages meant to bring her to pleasure. Her body responded, differently than before as she was not ticklish or sensitive in the same places as before, but enough to leave John counting backwards in as many mathematical variations as possible to keep his pace slow while his own trousers threatened permanent damage.
Her fingers set to work while he paused. The buttons on his damp shirt left their holds and John hissed when her fingernails, tentative at first but growing bolder the more he verbalized, scraped over his skin. Skin that had seen too many winters and too few summers but now heated under her lavished attentions.
She shifted and maneuvered under him, learning him by lips and licks as he had her. Now it was John's turn to shiver and shudder while his arms held him above her. A giggle from her vibrated over his skin to send blood racing and boiling through him and John risked a hand to her hip to grip there.
Even with his numerous abilities still intact John could not honestly say how his trousers eventually joined his shirt on the floor. Or how he worked himself back over her once her hands worked to trace and tease him through briefs he thought would burn off him from the inferno she invoked in him. Or even when their lips met again. All was a second and an eternity at the same time. The exquisite stretch of moments for two people in love.
But his briefs hit the floor and his fingers rested just below the confines of her bra. He waited, like he would forever if he had too, and could almost taste the joy in his mouth when she nodded against his neck. The clasps popped open and her arms slithered loose of the straps to fling the object to the nether regions of the hot room around them.
With sweat beading where raindrops had been, John pressed his lips to her throat. He trailed down her chest in time to her whimpers and keens until he arrived at her breasts. His hands worked over them, kneading and cherishing there while he traced the lines her bra left with his mouth. Eventually he risked kissing over her nipple, sending it tightening even in the heat and her moaning at the gesture. With a grin John sucked it into his mouth, working there until she could take no more and turning to the other.
Her hips lifted off the bed, one of her feet caressing up the back of his leg, and her hands at his shoulders scrambled for purchase as he stole all the air from her lungs. So consumed in her taste, licking sweat and scent from her in equal measure, John gasped in surprise when Anna took matters in her own hands. Or him, in her hands after she somehow managed to slip her knickers off without him noticing.
Their proximity had her strokes brushing against the crux of her sex with every long pull and John almost lost himself in the sound her voice. He abandoned her breasts with his mouth, scouting down the contours of her body to where his shoulders forced her legs to spread wider. Anna's hand, having lost its grip on him, soon raked into his hair. She pulled and tugged in time with the lap of his tongue against her or the nip of his teeth when he sucked deeply.
A thought at the back of John's brain wondered if, perhaps, the house was not as empty as they thought. But his daring side, only on display when she was there, told him that anyone else could sod off. He slipped his fingers through her folds to glide inside her, exulting in the clench on her internal muscles.
When he thought she might tear a chunk of his hair from his head, John moved his mouth up just enough to send her screaming a release while his teeth worked over her nerves. He licked over her, the sound of her climax all he needed to affirm his success while he enjoyed her taste, before drawing his fingers out slowly. Her eyes met his when he took them into his mouth, removing all traces of her there with a smile.
Anna's hands pulled herself up by leveraging at the back of his neck, and thrust her hips toward him. He struck her nerves and she cried out while he groaned, resting his head on her shoulder, and tried to gain any semblance of control. But with her legs wrapping over his waist and her body writhing under him it was all John could do just to yield to her insistence.
He drove forward, burying himself in one motion, and paused there. Their chests rubbed and pressed together as both tried to fill starved lungs before seizing one another in a kiss. They drove one another higher and higher as the sounds of their passion echoed in concert between their kisses and their bodies.
John angled her with a hand under one knee, driving deeper inside her, while Anna sank her nails into the flesh of his ass to hold him in place when her hips moved to drive him to strike her nerves with every motion. He laid a trail from her jaw to her breasts and back, using his hand in a flailing attempt to drive her to the insanity he greeted with open arms. And she responded in kind with her other hand forcing its way between them to send her hitting the stars in the next moment.
With the sound of her second peak ringing in his ears, John rutted against her. All finesse, all control, and all attempts at pacing abandoned for the feel of her lips on his as his frenetically frantic plunges finally gave way to his climax. His body stuttered, dropping in exhaustion, but he caught himself before he crushed Anna under him.
Turning just slightly he landed beside her, holding her close a moment before she slipped free. Anna found his hand, holding it over her heart as they both used their eyes to communicate while their bodies tried to find the air for words. Eventually she took a deep enough breath to speak through her smile to him.
"Do you remember what I said about the competency of my former boyfriend?"
John frowned, trying to clear his head, "You said he wasn't bad."
"I'm going to amend my statement in all accounts." Anna kissed his hand, shifting closer to flick some hair from his eyes. "You are, by far, the best I've ever had."
"And you're the best I've ever had."
"My previous selves included?"
"In this," John leaned himself over enough to kiss both her cheeks, her forehead, and then her lips before settling back on her pillows. "You're all equally matched. The situations were different but it's all the same to me."
"Mind-blowing?"
"Beautiful."
"I'll take that." Anna slotted herself next to him, taking only a moment to breathe in sync with him. "I wish I remembered those other times."
"Why?'
"Because then I think my degree of sexual experience would be far superior."
"I'm sure," John rested his chin on her head, "We'll find more than enough time to make the experience better every time."
"You're awfully sure of yourself."
"I'm awfully good at loving you."
Anna kissed the underside of his chin, "I'm beginning to realize how true that really is."