"And where were y-oh." Bernadette's eyes went wide as Penny stepped into the study room Amy had booked for them that morning, pursing her lips as though she needed to physically restrain herself from commenting. "Wow. Penny!"

"Yes." Penny gave a sharp nod, startled with a hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar expression on her face. She looked as though she was shocked to see Bernadette and Amy in the study room, despite knowing they were there.

As Penny slunk into one of the empty seats around the circular table, Amy raised a brow. "How could you be late and still not have had time to brush your hair?"

"She's not late, per se, and she did brush her hair - earlier this morning." Bernadette explained, shaking her head at Penny in disapproval.

"I don't get it." Amy frowned. "If she wasn't late then how does it explain why she wasn't there for coffee in the canteen this morning?"

"God, so I had sex with Leonard in his office!" Penny huffed, slamming her notebook down. "Can't a girl do that once in a while?" She was a little more careful with placing her laptop on the table, though it still made an audible thump. "And yes, I did brush my hair this morning. And yeah, I know, the buttons are done up wrong on my shirt and-" Flinging her pen onto the table so hard that it bounced across to Bernadette, Penny stood up with a groan. "And now I have to go the bathroom."

"Fix your clothes while you're there!" Bernadette advised. She received a glare before the door slammed shut. "Wow."

"I'm not sure I understand what's going on."

"They're not talking about Switzerland. So to avoid it, they're having sex instead. Really good sex, by the looks of it." Bernadette rolled Penny's pen back to her side of the table. "It's kinda easy to work out. That's how I distract guys too."

"Why?"

"It's a good distraction."

"Alright." Amy shrugged, returning her attention to her work. The pair worked silently until Penny finally returned. Amy thought Penny looked like she'd been crying, which would explain what had taken her so long, but she couldn't be sure. She was often wrong about these things, and Penny didn't look like she was in the best mood to be asked such questions. Now that she was curious about and had to ask, "why are you in such a bad mood if you just had coitus? It doesn't make scientific sense. Was the coitus not satisfying for you?"

Glaring at Amy, Penny opened her laptop. She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came to mind to use as an excuse - and she wasn't prepared to discuss the truth yet with anyone. "The coitus was more than satisfactory." She said instead. And it had been more than satisfactory - in fact, ever since she'd told Leonard about Switzerland, the satisfaction levels had gone up considerably. She wondered if Leonard would do such things without the level of tension there was between them nowadays.

"Surely your bad mood should be alleviated, in that case." Bernadette pointed out. "Even a little bit."

"You know what, I think I'm just gonna go work on my own until class." Penny muttered, slamming her laptop closed before shoving her belongings back into her bag.

"Penny-"

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Penny said as she stood up.

"What- aren't you joining us for lunch?"

"I'm going home after class."

"Don't you normally go to the lab after lunch on Tuesdays?"

"Not today."

"What about dinner?"

"Look, I just need some time alone!" Penny snapped. "Okay? I can't - I just need to focus on my work right now and honestly I can't do that if every time I see you guys you're asking me all these questions." With that, Penny had left the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Bernadette frowned. "Well, my idea of a group study session clearly failed in helping her feel more... herself."

"D'you think she's right - that we should maybe ask less questions?" Amy wondered. "Because I can't really help it, I'm just curious about these things."

"Maybe." Bernadette bit her lip guiltily. "I mean, maybe she does just need some time to think about it. Switzerland is really far, and it's a big deal. It must be really hard for her to think about leaving Leonard behind for a year when things are going so well for them."

"And she was really falling behind in her work." Amy nodded sadly. "Karen mentioned she was worried about Penny."

"I hope she'll be alright." Bernadette looked at Penny's empty seat worriedly. "Perhaps we need to give her a bit of time and then try again when she's had more time to think it out."

Stepping into the study room Bernadette had texted her to say she'd booked if she wanted to join them, Penny bit her lip as she closed the door quietly behind her. "I'm sorry about the other day. I was just... I'm just really stressed out about this whole situation." She said, her hand still on the door handle. "Do you mind if I join you guys?"

"Of course, go ahead." Bernadette smiled kindly. She noted that Penny did look much better, albeit her clothes still had the telltale thrown-back-on look and she looked like she needed a proper night of sleep.

"And Amy, when you see Sheldon... tell him I'm sorry for the noise. And for shouting at him." Penny said as she sat down, taking her books and laptop out from her bag. "But in my defense, he barged in to tell us to be quiet at the most... inconvenient time."

"I'll let him know." Amy nodded. "But if the noise is such an issue, why don't you guys just stay at your apartment?"

"We were in my apartment." Penny shrugged, opening her laptop and entering her password.

"Oh."

Bernadette raised her brows, suppressing a giggle. She waited a moment before asking, "so how is it all going?"

"Stressful."

"I mean, apart from that. Are you okay?"

Penny ran a hand through her hair as she sighed heavily, lowering the lid of her laptop so she could see her friends properly. "Well... not really, I guess. It's weird. I always thought the prospect of going to Switzerland would be... different, you know. I should be excited, right? I mean, I was excited about it right up until the point I met Leonard - and then I just completely forgot about it."

"Did you really forget about it?" Bernadette asked. "Are you just saying you forgot to make you feel less guilty?" She knew she may be pushing the boundary with her question, but she felt Penny needed to give some answers - to herself and to her friends, and to Leonard too.

Biting her lip, Penny stared blankly at her closed notebook for a while before releasing a heavy sigh. "Does that make me really selfish?"

"That you decided to leave out a major part of your academic career because you're invested in a relationship?" Amy asked.

"Not that... more that I just never mentioned it to Leonard in case it ruined where we were going. And that I keep telling him I forgot about it."

"Well, you probably shouldn't have lied about it... and continued lying about it." Bernadette said with a frown. "But didn't you think that you'll have to tell him about it at some point anyway?"

"It was just easier to put it off at the time!" Penny groaned, throwing her head back. "And we've sort of come to terms with it, I guess."

"Meaning..." Amy prompted, though they all knew the answer.

"We just have sex to avoid talking about it." Penny admitted. It was strange to say it out loud; it was more a thing she'd been hiding behind. "It's a lot easier for both of us."

"You can't avoid it forever." Bernadette pointed out.

"I know, I know. I'm just scared to talk about it... what it means for us, what's gonna happen..." Penny ran a hand through her hair once more; she'd given up on it looking presentable when Leonard had visited her lab in the morning. "I just wish I was still excited about going to CERN like I was before. It's my dream. But it just doesn't feel like it anymore."

"Perhaps you'd feel better if you actually spoke about it with Leonard so you know where everything stands."

"This is exactly why I didn't want to get into a serious relationship - I knew it would make the whole Switzerland thing complicated."

"So you'd say your relationship is serious?" Amy asked, slightly surprised. Penny had always kept to herself about the state of her relationship, at least with her friends.

"Well... yeah, I guess. We haven't spoken about that either."

"You two have a lot of talking to do. It's a little hard to understand why you didn't tell him about Switzerland from the start. I would think you'd want to get that out of the way first."

"It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him. I just didn't want what we had to... stop happening." Penny admitted.

"Do you really think it would have had that bad an effect on the progress of your relationship?"

"Maybe?" Penny sighed. Amy and Bernadette waited for her to continue with pointed looks, and she groaned before leaning her forehead against her hands so her eyes were covered. "If someone were to tell me that they were going away for a year... I'd think either they're pointing out what we have is just temporary or... or I'd panic that they're thinking so far ahead in terms of our relationship. None of those was what I wanted. I wanted... Leonard. And yeah, that's selfish. But I was too scared it would have a negative impact on our relationship so early on."

"And you don't think that telling him now could have a negative impact?" Amy raised a brow. "Ow!"

"Amy!" Bernadette kicked at Amy's leg beneath the table before looking softly at Penny. "She doesn't mean that."

Amy shrugged. "I'm just being honest."

"You can't just say stuff like that!"

"No, she's right. Penny said to the table. "I dug myself a hole. And I sort of already knew that."

"So..." Bernadette paused, wondering if she should continue or just let it be for the moment. Penny didn't seem to be too bothered that they weren't actually doing any work, so she decided to make the jump. "What're you gonna do?"

Contemplating her answer for a moment, Penny took a deep breath before looking up shyly at her friends. She still wasn't ready to confront how she honestly felt about Leonard - not with them, and not with Leonard. In her mind, she told herself that was the first step: admit to herself that she felt a certain way about him, no matter how terrifying that was and how inconveniently timed that revelation was.

"As fun as the sex is, I guess I should stop using it to avoid talking to him and just... talk." Penny shrugged. "Give him an actual answer."

"That sounds like a good first step." Amy smiled.

"Do you want me to cover your shift for you?" Bernadette offered, knowing that this was one of the days they didn't work together and that the guys only had plans to visit the Comic Book Store after work. It was a perfect window of opportunity, and she didn't want Penny to miss it by putting the talk off.

"Oh... you don't have to do that." Penny said hesitantly, although it would greatly help her situation. As much as she was terrified of actually having an honest conversation with Leonard about Switzerland, she knew it had to happen - sooner rather than later.

"It's okay. I don't mind covering for you. It's just one shift. If you're worried about hours you can take one of mine next week."

"Really? That would actually really help... I just..." Penny gestured helplessly to her laptop. "I'm trying to find somewhere to stay in Switzerland and I don't wanna give up my apartment, and-and-"

"Penny, don't worry." Bernadette smiled. "We've got you."

For the first time since she'd told Leonard she would be going to Switzerland, Penny felt a small sense of relief. "Thank you." She said quietly, but sincerely.

As the girls respectfully returned to their work, Penny pulled her phone out to text Leonard.

Hey. If you don't have any plans, can we have dinner together? My place, just the two of us. I miss you. I don't want this to keep getting between what we have. Xxx