A/N: Playlist for this chapter is on my profile. But if you have to listen to one song, there is one that defines this entire chapter. I pretty much listened to it on repeat the entire time I was writing it. So go to the playlist or youtube "Somewhere in Between" by Lifehouse.
Second I decided to start a Facebook page to keep the lines of communication open with you guys. It's still a baby right now, but it'll eventually have art, teasers, updates ect. Also if you make some fanart or a video or anything like that you can send it to the email address I have listed on the page and I'll be sure to post it for everyone to see. The name is MandyLeigh Fanfic. I know some people don't use Twitter so I wanted to offer this option to those so I can keep them updated as well.
And I'm issuing a Tissue warning for this chapter, just in case. Cause I sure needed one writing it. I'm an emotional sap I know.
Bella
"Dad please!" I cried. "Just listen to me!"
"No. Get inside." He pointed to the front door.
"No!"
"Get. Inside," he said again.
I stomped inside and stopped right inside the door.
"I'm inside. Now will you listen!" I crossed my arms in front of me.
"You're grounded until further notice. Go to your room." He started towards his office.
He wasn't getting off this easy. I had a right to defend myself and defend Edward.
"Damnit Charlie I'm not a child anymore!" I ran into his office right before he shut the door.
"You are a child Bella. Jesus you just turned eighteen yesterday!"
"You don't understand." My vision blurred as the tears starting flowing freely. "I'm in love with him…" I whispered.
"Bella don't be ridiculous. You're eighteen, you have no idea what love is!"
"I know a Hell of a lot more than you do! You can't stop me from seeing him." I shook my head.
"If you're planning on living in this house and eating my food and getting money to pay for every single damn thing you buy then yes you will stop seeing him."
"Fine. I'm an adult. I'll move out tonight." I turned around and started out the door.
"Where are you going to go Bella? Are you going to get your own apartment? Go stay with the Cullen's? You have no money and no job, we'll see how far that goes."
I froze halfway out the door. I hated to admit that he was right. I didn't have nearly enough money to get my own apartment and I couldn't impose on the Cullen's like that. I wouldn't. I was trapped.
That small light of hope I had since Charlie walked in on us quickly disappeared and I felt like my whole world was crashing around me. I shuffled out of the room and started up the stairs, almost unable to breathe. I can't lose him.
The front door swung open as I made it to the top. I spun around and collapsed to the floor just seeing him. I started to get up but Edward held his palm up, asking me to wait. He calmly started over towards Charlie's office. He paused in the doorway and knocked on the open door.
"Charlie can I talk to you?"
"I'm writing you your last check here. Please have your things out as soon as possible and turn in any and all keys you have."
"Charlie…" Edward pleaded. I hated hearing him like this. So desperate. So completely frantic. "I'm asking you for a little understanding and a little forgiveness."
"You deliberately betrayed my trust and my orders Edward. There is no understanding."
"Sir I'm in love with your daughter."
I quietly crept down the stairs and waited at the bottom, listening to more of their conversation.
"You two aren't good for each other."
"How can you say that? Look at how much Bella has grown since I've been here. Look how much better she's doing school. She hasn't been sneaking out. How can you not see that?"
"Edward…" Charlie lowered his voice so much so that I couldn't hear a single word he was saying.
The seconds passed by as I sat anxiously at the bottom of the stairs.
"You're wrong Charlie," Edward said. "And you'll see that. I just hope it's not too late."
My shoulders sunk forward and I realized we'd lost. I buried my head in my hands and started crying harder than before. I don't know how long I sat there, it could have been moments or minutes. I felt someone kneel down in front of me and wrap their arms around me.
I leaned forward and melted into Edward's chest. That little bit of control I had left had vanished. I was broken all over again.
"Shhh…" Edward whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him like he could be ripped away at any moment. He quickly scooped me up and carried me into the kitchen, rounding the corner so we were out of Charlie's sight. "Relax baby…" He tilted my head up and tried to brush away my tears. It was useless. They were replaced with new ones moments later.
"Please don't leave me…" I cried.
"Bella…I have to leave."
I sobbed and buried my head in his shirt.
"I'm not leaving you Bella, I'm just leaving the house." He held my face in his hands and tried to smile. "I love you way too much. It'll be okay we'll make it work."
"But my dad…"
"Doesn't matter." He shook his head. "It's you and me okay?" He pressed his forehead to mine.
"You and me," I nodded, trying to stop crying. It wasn't helping anything, but I couldn't stop this overwhelming sense of loss. It was naïve of me to think this wouldn't change things. It would. It was going to change everything.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, a sense of calm instantly washing over me. The instant they left the calm left with them. Panic. Desperation. Anxiety. They all replaced it.
"I have to go pack up my things…" he said softly.
"No." The tears started forming again in my already damp eyes.
"I have to sweetheart. I'm not leaving yet okay? Just do what your dad says and go up to your room."
He nodded and I reluctantly agreed. I turned the corner just as Charlie was coming out of his office.
"I hate you," I spat as I stomped up the stairs.
"Sorry about that," Edward whispered. "I'll just go pack my things."
"Why are you being nice to him Edward?" I spun around. "He doesn't deserve it."
Edward stared at me for a few moments before stepping out the front door. I threw one last glare at Charlie before I ran into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I can't believe this is happening. I ran my fingers through my hair and went to sit at my window ledge. Edward made his way around the house and disappeared through his door. Every now and then I could see some movement in the window as he packed up all of his things.
Charlie had no idea what kind of damage he was inflicting right now. It was catastrophic. I know Edward was trying to keep calm earlier and it's one of the things I love about him, but this isn't right.
I pulled my knees up to my chest as my eyes darted frantically looking for him. Half of me desperately wanted to see him and the other half wanted him to stay in that house as long as possible. Because the next time I saw him leave would be the last time. I wrapped my arms around my knees and started rocking back and forth, trying to calm myself.
I needed something. Something to ease my nerves. I didn't have any weed. I don't even think I had any alcohol. I wanted to call Alice. I wanted to call my Mom. I knew she'd understand. Maybe she could talk to Charlie. Tell him he's being crazy. I knew I was kidding myself. He wouldn't listen to anyone. His stubbornness was something I inherited from him. Even if he realized he was wrong it would take something drastic for him to admit it. He'd be in denial, grasping on with his fingers until he broke.
My hand was shaky as I reached for my phone. I dialed her number and waited.
"Hello?" Just as Renee answered, the door to Edward's house opened and he stepped outside carrying a few bags. I threw my phone down and stumbled across my room and out the door.
"Bella!" Charlie yelled as I passed him, but I didn't listen. I threw open the door and ran around the driveway leading down to Edward's house. He was standing at the back of his car, loading his bags inside. He shut the trunk and turned around just as I slammed into him. I leaped up into his arms and wrapped my arms and legs around him as tight as I could. I heard the sobs before I felt the wetness creeping down my face.
"Please don't leave….don't leave me…"
He bent down and nuzzled into my neck as he rocked me side to side.
"I love you Bella. More than anything."
"Then take me with you. Please take me with you. I won't be any trouble, I'll get a job, I'll quit school." I rambled on anything and everything I could possibly think of to keep us together. I knew they were bullshit, but I couldn't stop fighting.
He rubbed gently up and down my back and lifted his head, glancing behind us. I turned around and noticed Charlie was staring at us from the window.
"I have to go…" Edward whispered.
My fists grasped so tightly onto his shirt that the most intense sharp pain shot through my knuckles. I ignored it and kept clinging to him like I was holding on for dear life. And I was. He was my life.
His arms snaked up from my waist and took hold of my arms, practically prying them off of him.
"I left you a present in there," he barely managed a smile and nodded towards his door. "Go check it out." He leaned up against his car and nodded again.
I couldn't move my feet.
"Go," he laughed.
I sniffled and told my legs to move. And they did. Slow and uneven steps. I opened the door to his place and my breath hitched in my throat. It was so empty. There was no trace of him anywhere. The desk was bare. There was nothing on the shelves, or on the counter in the bathroom. The only thing out of place was a clump of fabric on the bed. I walked over and took the t-shirt in my hands. It was the same "Army" one I'd worn before. I lifted it to my face and breathed in his scent just as I heard the screech of the tires.
"No," I whispered, spinning around and darting outside. There was a cloud of dust, but I could still see Edward's car as he sped down the driveway. I took off running, my sobs growing louder with each step, making it hard to breathe.
"Edward!" I screamed. I willed my legs to move faster but they couldn't. He was slipping away. He escaped through the gate and it closed quickly after him. My run slowed to a jog as I watched him disappear down the road. And then I felt my legs give out under me, gravity causing my body to crash to the ground. I felt the pain in my knees as they skidded across the pavement but I didn't care. The little silver dot grew smaller and smaller and all I could do is sit there and watch. I kept watch on the last place I'd seen it long after it'd gone, almost like I was expecting him to come back. He didn't.
I stayed out there as the sun rose and descended in the sky just curled up in a ball on the ground. At some point, I'm not sure what time it was or how long I'd been out there, I heard footsteps behind me.
"Renee I don't know what you want me to do, she's been out here all day…" Charlie mumbled. She must have called after I hung up on her. Charlie walked around in front of me and looked down. He brought his cell phone down to his shoulder. "Bella I think it's time for you to go in the house."
I shook my head adamantly, holding desperately onto the hope that he was coming back.
Charlie huffed and shook his head as he bent down and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed.
He held his phone back to his ear. "Do you hear that?" He glanced back towards me. "You won't talk to me, will you talk to your mother?" He handed out the phone for me and I swatted it away. I wasn't made at her and I hope she didn't take it the wrong way. The only person I wanted to talk to wasn't here.
Charlie cursed and picked his phone back up. "I guess that's a no." He slowly started back towards the house. "Don't you dare talk to me like that Renee! It was my decision!" I blocked out everything else and stared back out into the nothingness.
The sun finally dipped below the horizon and I shivered in the cold evening air. I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth. My eye caught a glimmer of light down the way; so far down I thought I was imagining it. But it was real. The headlights got bigger and bigger as they got closer to me and I felt my heart start beating faster.
I put my hands up to block the light from my eyes as the car pulled up in front of the gate. It opened and someone stepped out of the passenger's side.
"Bella!" Alice yelled. As soon as I heard her voice I slipped back into the darkness. It wasn't him. She ran over and bent down in front of me. "Sweetie let's get you inside."
I shook my head.
"Jasper!" She called. "Help me!"
Jasper jumped out of the driver's side and ran to us.
"Hey Bells…" he smiled slightly. "It's getting a little chilly in there how about we get you a nice cup of coffee inside?"
"I…can't…move…" I mumbled.
Jasper stared at me for a few moments. "Okay," he whispered. He scooped his hands under my body and lifted me up, close to his chest.
"Honey drive the car up okay?" He said to Alice. She nodded and went back to the car. I wrapped my arms loosely around Jasper's neck as he carried me up the driveway. Alice drove behind us and parked the car as we reached the front door. She ran in front of us and opened it as Jasper took us through. Charlie eyed us from the living room as he started up the stairs.
I vaguely remember him placing me in my bed and pulling the covers over me. Alice came in and pulled him into the corner.
"I'm going to stay. You can go though…" she said softly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah I'll call you tomorrow or get a ride from Charlie."
He nodded and bent down to kiss her before disappearing out the door. Alice slowly walked over and crawled into bed beside me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and sighed.
"Edward called me…told me what happened…" she said. "I'm sorry."
I nodded as her words hit me, trying to fight back the tears. Like so many times today I wasn't strong enough. They radiated in my chest as it heaved in and out. Alice's arms tightened around me but I still felt so alone. The entire bed shook with me as I cried for endless moments.
I finally turned myself around so I was facing Alice. She frowned and brushed my hair out of my face. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head.
"Do you want to go to sleep?"
I shook my head again and she sighed.
"Bella you need to calm down. You're just making it worse by being all worked up like this honey…" She rubbed down my arm.
"Do you have anything?" I sniffled.
"I really don't think…"
"Alice please."
She hesitated a moment longer before reaching over me and grabbing her purse. "You are only having a little bit to calm you down." She grabbed the cup beside my bed and reached into her purse, pulling out her flask. She poured some into the cup and handed it to me. I downed it immediately, but kept the cup close to my body and occasionally pretended to be taking small sips. She set the flask on the table next to her.
She turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels. I glanced at the clock, wishing that she would just go to sleep. I loved her for staying here but to be honest all I could think about was getting more of whatever was in her flask. I could barely feel it and right now that's all I wanted to feel.
"Actually I think I want to go to bed Alice…" I mumbled.
"Really? Okay." She turned off the TV and pulled the covers up tight to her body. "Goodnight."
"Night." I bit my lip and waited ten minutes before I tried getting out of bed. She didn't move so I assumed she was asleep. I grabbed my phone from the floor where I'd thrown it and crept to her side of the bed. I didn't even hesitate as I grabbed the flask and headed for the window. I crawled outside and closed it behind me; desperate to crawl out of this bottomless hole I'd suddenly fallen into.
Edward
As soon as Charlie and Bella disappeared out of the door I jumped up and put some clothes on. I had to fix this. I didn't know how I was going to do it but I had to. I sprinted up to the house and burst in the door. Bella was sitting at the top of the stairs, her face red and her eyes puffy. She started to get up but I motioned for her to stay there. I walked over to Charlie's office and knocked.
He looked up at me briefly but didn't say anything so I stepped inside. "Charlie can I talk to you?"
"I'm writing you your last check here. Please have your things out as soon as possible and turn in any and all keys you have."
"Charlie…" I said, trying to think of something to say to make this better. I understood I'd disobeyed his orders. But this was so far beyond that and he needed to know. "I'm asking you for a little understanding and a little forgiveness."
"You deliberately betrayed my trust and my orders Edward. There is no understanding."
"Sir I'm in love with your daughter." I sighed and waited for his reaction.
He wrote out the rest of the check and ripped it out of his book.
"You two aren't good for each other," he said as he handed it to me.
"How can you say that? Look at how much Bella has grown since I've been here. Look how much better she's doing school. She hasn't been sneaking out. How can you not see that?"
"Edward…" Charlie shook his head and lowered his voice. "Despite everything that's happened I think you're a decent young man."
"Then what the hell is the problem?"
"You know I love my daughter, but she has some serious issues Edward that I don't even think I fully understand. Neither of you need that type of distraction. You're a fine boy and I don't want you to get dragged in by her. I understand that she can be incredibly charming but she's…damaged."
"Is that really all you think of her, that's just damaged goods who's going to taint everyone she meets?" I ran my fingers through my hair. "You are so wrong Charlie!" I said a little louder. "Can I ask you a question?"
He didn't object.
"How did you know?"
"How did I know?" He kinked an eyebrow. "You really don't think I didn't notice the flirtation between you two? Of course I thought it was all harmless until I found this taped to my car door this morning at the station." He threw a Polaroid picture at me. I picked it up and almost stopped breathing. It was me and Bella, from last night. And it was looking right through my window at us. Someone had written in sharpie along the bottom.
Happy Birthday Bella. Thanks to me she'll be eighteen forever. I flipped it over and continued reading. Looks like your bodyguard is keeping an extra close eye on her.
"Charlie do you even understand what this means? They were outside my damn house. Inside the gate!"
"I'm well aware."
I bit my lip and shook my head in frustration. "Please tell me you're getting her someone else. Someone better than me. Someone who can protect her."
"I'm working on it."
"Well work harder! Because I swear to God if you don't I'll be sitting outside your gate every night until you do. And if something happens to her…" I bit my tongue and stopped myself from threatening the police commissioner. I huffed and turned around, leaving his office.
My heart sank when I saw her. She was hunched over at the bottom of the stairs, her shoulders heaving up and down. Had she heard everything? I prayed that she hadn't. I didn't want her to hear all those things her father had said about her. Or about the photograph for that matter. She didn't need to worry about all those things right now.
I bent down and took her in my arms, trying to calm her. I told her that I loved her and this didn't mean anything. I didn't want her to think I was leaving her, that I was breaking my promise. I never wanted to break that promise to her, but even as I was saying the words I knew that I was in her eyes.
She went back up to her room as I packed up my things. I didn't want her just sitting there and watching me do it. I couldn't bare to see that heartbroken look on her face as I stuffed everything into a bag.
I packed quickly. I still didn't have much to my name. I started picking things off the floor and throwing them into my last bag. I paused when I saw the Army shirt Bella had become so attached to these past few days. I folded it up and placed it on top of my bed before I grabbed my bags and started out.
I threw them in the back and closed the trunk, turning around just as Bella crashed into me. She grasped onto me tightly, completely entwining our bodies together. I wanted to make her feel better, but I was honestly on the edge of breaking down. I didn't want her to see me like that. I was supposed to be strong for her.
"I have to go…" I whispered. I waited for her to let go but she didn't. My hands trembled as I reached up and pried her arms from me.
I needed to get her away from here. I couldn't have her watch me leave. It would be devastating to both of us and I don't think I could handle it. Beyond pain. Beyond anguish. It would be beyond anything I've ever felt in this world to see her beautiful brown eyes in the rearview mirror as I drove away. She hesitated when I told her about the present, but I was so relieved when she finally disappeared into the house.
I quickly got into my car, my chest already heaving up and down, and spun out of the driveway. I told myself not to look back. I'd regret it for the rest of my life. But I did. She was running after me, running so desperately even though she would never catch up. My heart literally shattered into a million pieces as I watched her struggle to get to me. And I just kept driving. It took all I had to keep my foot on the pedal. My world started blurring around the edges as the tears formed in my eyes and slowly slipped down my cheek. I sighed and held them back as I drove faster, just needing to get away before I completely lost it all. The next time I looked in the rearview mirror both Bella and the house were gone.
I sped towards my parent's house, honestly surprised that I was able to stay on the road. I pulled up in front of our house and jumped out of the car.
"Mom!" I screamed. The house looked empty. "Mom!" I could feel my ends unraveling. I was coming undone.
"Edward?" Esme suddenly appeared in the hallway carrying a basket of laundry.
"M..mo…m." I couldn't breathe. My knees started shaking beneath me and I knew I couldn't hold on much longer.
"Carlisle!" Esme screamed, dropping the laundry onto the floor as she ran towards me. I sank to my knees just as Carlisle reached me. He caught me before I hit the ground and dragged me over to the couch.
"What's wrong with him?" Esme said, her voice full of fear.
"I don't know." Carlisle shook his head as he took my wrist between his fingers. "His pulse is racing."
Esme sat down on the couch and leaned over me. "Sweetie what happened?"
I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket. Carlisle reached around and grabbed it, answering it quickly.
He listened for a moment before responding. "No this is Carlisle, Edward's father. Who is this?...Yes he's here." He listened for a few more minutes, his eyes darting to me. "Alright. Thank you for calling." He hung up. "That was Bella's mother." He glanced towards Esme and motioned for her to join him. They stood in the corner of the room together talking quietly. I heard Esme gasp and cover her mouth with her hands. They started back towards me.
"I think he's just having a panic attack or something similar. It's too much for his body to handle right now. I'll give him something to calm him down," Carlisle said softly as he disappeared behind me.
Esme sat back down and pulled my head onto her lap as she ran her fingers through my hair.
Carlisle came back a few minutes later carrying what looked like a syringe. "Okay son this will help, just relax as much as you can."
I barely heard him, I barely felt the small pinch, I barely noticed the numbness starting to travel through my veins.
"Okay he should be alright…Just give him a few minutes." Carlisle patted my shoulder and left to dispose of the needle.
Esme sat with me as I felt my breathing start to return to normal. The dizzy feeling in my head started to fade away. My hand reached down and started tracing the circles in the carpet as I watched.
"I almost lost it in front of her Mom…she was begging…crying for me to stay and I couldn't."
"Just give it some time sweetheart. Charlie will come around."
"I don't think he will…" A silent tear slipped down my cheek.
I lay on the couch all day and Esme stayed with me. She didn't complain at all. But I guess that's what moms are supposed to do right? She just stroked her fingers through my hair and rubbed my back every time I allowed the tears to fall freely.
Emmett and Rosalie came home just as the sun was starting to go down. They were laughing and joking around until they walked into the living room. Emmett's face froze and he rushed over to us.
"What's wrong with him Mom?" He kneeled down in front of me. "Bro?"
"Edward I'm going to make dinner, is it okay if Emmett sits with you?"
"Yes," I mumbled. "I appreciate it Mom but you don't have to sit with me. Go do what you need to do." I slowly sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.
"I'll help you," Rose said, making a quick exit and following Esme into the kitchen.
Emmett sat down on the couch next to me and put his legs up.
"Charlie knows," I said.
"Oh shit…man I'm sorry. Was he pissed?"
"Well he fired me and kicked me out of the house. Basically said that Bella and I weren't good for each other."
"He can't possibly know that…"
"It doesn't matter. In his mind he does."
"That's so fucked up…" He shook his head.
"That's not even the worst part. I had to…force Bella to let go of me. And then I had to drive down the road and watch her run after me. I barely made it back to the house before I completely lost it Emmett."
He was silent.
"I know I'm a pussy…"
"No you're not. You're just a guy who would do anything for his girl. I know what that's like man."
We all ate dinner in complete silence. I barely touched my food and I felt bad for that. Esme cleared her throat when she was finished and stood up.
"I'm going to go make up your room honey." She dropped her plate off in the sink and started towards the stairs.
"Mom you don't have to do that."
"Yes I do."
"No please. Just sit down and enjoy your dinner. I'll take care of it. I don't want to be some kind of burden to you."
"Edward you're not a…"
"Please…Mom." I managed a smile and she finally started back to the table. I forced myself to take a few more bites before I set my plate up at the sink.
"Um…I'm sorry for what happened earlier. It won't happen again. I was…" I struggled for the words.
"Hurting," Carlisle finished my sentence. "Don't apologize son." He nodded and I started towards the stairs.
"I'm going to bed."
I sauntered up the stairs and to my room, grabbing some sheets from the closet on the way. I slowly put them on and pulled my shirt off as I crawled into bed and turned out the light. I wanted today to be over. I wanted to go back to yesterday. And most of all I wanted her.
I woke up later to the sound of my phone ringing beside me. I didn't know how late it was or how long I'd been asleep, but it was still dark outside. I turned over and reached for it.
Bella.
"Hello?"
"Edward…" She sniffled. My chest ached just hearing her voice, hearing so much pain. Knowing that she'd been crying all day over this.
"Hey baby…" I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to keep it together. I couldn't let what happened earlier happen again. Not while I'm talking to her.
"I miss you," she cried. I glanced over at the clock. It was a little after eleven.
"I miss you too. Are you all by yourself?" I didn't want her to be alone right now.
"Alice is here. She's sleeping." She sniffled again. "I really…I need to see you," she cried.
"We'll see each other soon I promise."
"I can't…I can't breathe without you here."
I choked back the tears and coughed. "Hey…calm down it's okay. Why don't you go to sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"
"Can you come see me?"
"I don't know. I'll see."
"Promise me you'll try."
"I promise…" A tear slipped from the corner of my eye. That was just another promise I might have to break, but I couldn't tell her no. "Goodnight Bella. I love you."
"Love you."
I hung up and buried my head in my hands. I took a deep breath and turned my head to the side, glancing out the window and up at the sky. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, just like our night in the meadow a few days ago. I closed my eyes and pretended I was back there, where everything was all right and my girl was lying next to me. In this cold lonely bed it was all I had to hold onto.
A/N: I know you want to cut Charlie's left nut off. I do too, trust me. * Glares at Charlie *
Leave one.