Thanks for your overwhelming feedback on the last chapter. I was sure you would be surprised that Roman didn't kill Seth (yet) lol
Here I am with a new chapter and I hope you'll all like it.
Thanks to all my girls for supporting me. You all know who you are!
I hope you will stick with me and whatever I decide to do with this story. It has been completely elaborated already (which doesn't mean it's already written) and well…I don't know but I'm afraid you'll hate me one day lol So, promise me to keep reading, ok? :)
Now enjoy & review!
Chapter 21: We need to work things out
As suspected, there was a lot of tension between Roman and Karolina that day. Other than going grocery shopping and doing laundry, they kept their distances and hardly spoke to each other. The tension was almost unbearable.
Karo didn't know if the silence was his way of making her suffer, but even if it was then it was fine with her. She deserved that. She knew that him forgiving her didn't mean that everything was fine for them. It was anything but that. But she had hoped he would at least talk to her properly.
She was wearing one of his old FCW shirts when she came to the bedroom that evening. Roman was already sitting on the bed, a book in his hand and not paying her any attention. It hurt him to do that but he just couldn't help it. She needed to see how much she had disappointed him.
In silence she got comfortable on her side of the bed, not sure if she should talk to him or not. She wanted to kiss him goodnight and tell him that she loved him but after telling him so that morning and not getting a reply, she didn't want to feel that kind of rejection again.
The beeping of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She bent over slightly to get it from her nightstand, surprised to see that it was Seth who was texting her.
Hey sweetheart! I've just landed in Iowa. I know I probably shouldn't message you but I just can't help it. I'm sorry about what happened. It has never been my intention to screw things up between you and Roman. I know I made a big mistake and I'm really sorry. I should have never made a move on you. It was plain wrong. You're in love with my best friend, if I can still call him that. And you're carrying his baby. I have no idea how I could even think about trying to seduce you. I hope you can forgive me one day. And I hope he can as well. I love you, Karolina. I love you with all my heart. That won't change. Text me back if you can. But I can absolutely understand if you just delete this message and forget about me. Seth xx
Karo swallowed hard, not wanting the tears that were building in her eyes to escape. Not in front of Roman. He would know that it was Seth who was texting her and that would make everything so much worse. He had dared Seth to contact Karo but he still did. He still had the nerve to do it and thereby put himself in so much more danger.
"What does he say?" Roman suddenly asked, putting his book down and looking at her expectantly.
She was too afraid to look at him. He would see that she had tears in her eyes and she honestly didn't want to provoke him and make this situation even more tense.
"Nothing really," she said curtly, not wanting to get into the content of Seth's text and just deleted it.
She knew he would understand. He even said it was fine for him if she just deleted it. She still felt horrible though. He was her best friend and as much as she loved Roman, she didn't want to lose Seth either.
"Yeah right..." he huffed, rolling his eyes before getting lost in his book again.
He was so sick of the lying. Although she hadn't really cheated on him, it felt like she had. And that both she and Seth still kept in touch made it so much more fucked up. He wanted to take her phone and just throw it against a wall so that it would shatter into a million pieces.
"Roman...please..." she sighed, putting her phone back onto the nightstand and turning her attention back towards him.
"Please what? What do you expect me to do? Sit here and feel sorry that he wasn't able to get into your pants? Is that what you want me to do? That's ridiculous, Karolina. He tried to take you away from me. You, my fiancée, the mother of my child. Do you have any idea how fucking betrayed I feel?" he asked, his voice slightly rising.
Karo took a deep breath, not really sure what to say. He was right. He was absolutely right and there was nothing she could do to make him feel better.
But the thing was that Roman was angrier with Seth than with her. Yes, she was as much into this as Seth was, but it was easier to forgive her than him. He did this on purpose. He had planned it. Karo was the one to fall for it. He blamed her hormones. Yes, he once again blamed her hormones. It might be stupid but that was his only explanation for this. He knew she loved him. He knew she would never deliberately do anything to hurt him. But Seth would. He actually had. And that was what hurt him the most.
"What else can I do to make this better? I keep apologizing...over and over again. But I know it's not enough. I want you to trust me but I'm sure you have lost all the trust and faith you ever had in me," she started, single tears streaming down her face. "But don't forget we're having a baby soon. It's not Joshua's fault that I'm such a stupid bitch."
"You're not a bitch," he said softly, his heart breaking when he saw that her whole body was shaking with sobs again. "You've made some pretty stupid decisions. But you're not a bitch. Karolina...I...I honestly don't know if there is anything you could do to make this all better. I think I just need some time to get over this."
She nodded her head and sniffled quietly. She was afraid he would say that. He needed some time. But she needed him. Now. It was selfish, she knew that, but she really needed him. She had missed him so incredibly much and now that she was 7-months' pregnant, she wanted him by her side more than ever.
"Do you think you could accompany me to one of the prenatal classes tomorrow? Or does this not fit into your 'I need some time' phase?" she asked, not even meaning it sarcastically.
She just wanted to know if he wanted to play a role in her pregnancy while he was home. Roman knew that Seth had been with her to those classes recently. And maybe it was important to show those other women that he was the father of that baby. It was his and his alone.
"I think that could work. I...uhm...I want Joshua to know that I'm here for him. I think he needs his daddy a little more now," Roman said, suddenly feeling guilty for always being gone.
Could he even blame her for turning to somebody else? Should he be understanding? He immediately shook his head. No, he really shouldn't. He missed being with her as much as she missed being with him. But he didn't even think about getting the satisfaction from somebody else. Although there had been plenty of possibilities to do so.
"He's been kicking me a lot recently," she admitted, softly caressing her baby bump.
"He feels that his mommy is stressed out," he replied, the tone of reproach in his voice unmistakable.
"I haven't been the best mom for a while now. I forgot to take my vitamins, barely sleep more than five hours a night...not to forget that I eat very irregularly," she said quietly, her shoulders hanging low now.
She knew that their baby needed for her to be more thoughtful. Especially now that he was growing more and more with each week passing by. There was no time for Karolina to be selfish anymore. She needed to be healthier again. She needed more rest, more peace...and more to eat.
"Are you craving for anything right now? Would you like me to get you something to eat?" he asked, hoping that he could do anything to make her feel better.
He was worried. Not only about her health but his baby's as well. He would go to China for her if she craved something he could only get for her there.
"I want Chicken Nuggets," she said truthfully, a shy smile on her face.
"McDonalds?" he asked and chuckled when he saw how she frantically nodded her head.
Roman closed his book and put it on his nightstand. He was about to get into his jeans when he noticed that she was about to get dressed as well.
"What are you doing?" he asked her confused.
"McDrive and then eating at the beach?" she asked hopefully.
She had to get out of their house. She needed some fresh air to clear her head. And she would love to spend some time with Roman with the sound of the waves hitting the shore. Just like in good old times.
"Uhm...yeah...why not?" he answered, turning around and grabbing one of his shirts which he pulled over his head.
She was only in her bra and panties when he turned around again, rummaging through the closet to find something to wear. It was already dark outside so she didn't have to dress fancy or anything, but she didn't want to look like a whale in cheap clothes either.
Roman breathed in sharply, mesmerizing the beauty of his fiancée. She was beautiful. Absolutely breath-taking. Her baby bump had grown so much more within the last two weeks and he could literally see how their son got comfortable in his mommy's belly.
He so badly wanted to wrap his arms around her, kiss her lips softly and then make passionate love to her. But he just couldn't. The picture of her sharing an intimate moment with Seth still stuck in his head. He knew he would eventually be able to have sex with her again. But tonight was not the right time for that.
"You ok, Roman?" she asked while trying to button her pants, sensing that he seemed to be lost in thought.
"What? Uhm...yeah, I'm fine. Do you need...help?" he questioned, motioning to her jeans when he realized that she had a hard time with the button.
"I don't think you'll be able to make me fit into those jeans again. Actually it's your fault that I'm so fat right now," she complained, finally giving up and letting her fiancé help her.
"Yeah, and that's why I feed you with chicken nuggets now," he chuckled after zipping and buttoning her jeans, winking at her which made her heart jump in her chest.
She had no idea how she even could do these inappropriate things with Seth when she had such an amazing man by her side. She felt horrible. Nobody would ever know just how sorry she was for doing this to him.
"Let's go," he said, making his way over to the door and opening it for her.
They both made their way to the car in silence, completely lost in thought. They both loved each other with everything they had. They were both craving to touch each other, share kisses and just...enjoy being with each other. But while Karolina was afraid to get too close to him, Roman wasn't ready to give in just yet. It was a vicious circle.
It took them only 15 minutes to go through the drive-through and park their car at the beach, both of them walking through the sand with what felt like 200 chicken nuggets in their bags. Which she would eat all by herself, of course.
"I missed that," Roman said as they both sat down in the sand, his back leaned against a wall behind them.
"The ocean?" she asked, opening one of the bags and snapping one of the many nuggets.
"Yeah...it always calms me down. It feels like home, you know?" he replied, watching out to the sea and taking a deep breath.
In this very moment Karolina noticed that ever since she found out she was pregnant, it was all about her. How does Karo feel? How is she doing? Is she sick? Does her back hurt? Is there anything we can do for her? Karo Karo Karo...
She never once asked how he was doing. All their conversations were about her and that was a sad fact. She should listen to him more often. Ask him how he was feeling and what he wanted and needed. It wasn't fair how she had treated him in the last few months.
"I know it's stupid to ask you how you're doing, considering what mess I brought us in, but I just realized that we haven't spoken about you in ages," she said, handing him one of her chicken nuggets and waiting for him to reply.
"About me?" he asked confused, not understanding where she was going with this.
"Yeah, you. How do you feel about certain things? What's on your mind? Is there anything you would like to get off of your chest?" she replied, looking at him expectantly while munching on her food.
"I really don't know how to answer those questions, Karolina," he said truthfully before sighing heavily. "I feel horrible being away from you constantly and maybe this is the price I have to pay now. I haven't been myself for a while. All I do is function. I train, I wrestle, I eat, I sleep, I travel...I don't even have time to rest."
"Just because of me," she admitted, running a shaky hand through her hair.
"I'm happy to do it because I love you but that doesn't change the fact that it's exhausting," he replied, not realizing that he had just told her that he loved her. But she certainly did.
It's not like he had never told her, quite the contrary. But ever since finding out about her and Seth, he hadn't mentioned it at all. Which was only understandable.
"I never said thank you, did I? Uhm...well...thank you then," she said and giggled when he raised his eyebrow at her.
"You're one of a kind, Karolina," he simply said, silence falling over them immediately afterwards.
It was a silence that was comfortable. They just enjoyed being in each other's company while listening to the sounds of the ocean. If he would only wrap his arms around me, she thought.
"Will there ever come a time when things are fine between us again?" she asked cautiously, afraid of what he was about to tell her.
Roman remained silent for a few moments, thinking about her question over and over again. Did he even know himself? Was there an answer to that question?
"I guess so. It will take some time though," he replied honestly. "But...well...yeah, of course. You're having my baby and if that isn't a reason to make up again then I don't know what is."
As soon as he had said those words, it was a load off her mind. She was afraid things would always be that tense and awkward between them. She knew it would be difficult to make him trust her again but she was sure that she would soon earn it again.
They loved each other. And they would always find a way. Hopefully.
…
Karolina was surprised to see that Roman had prepared a huge breakfast for them. But as hungry as she seemed to be, it looked like the table was set for more than two persons.
She was about to ask him what was going on when the doorbell stopped her from doing so. Roman quickly made his way over to the door while Karo took a seat at the dining table, quickly getting some coffee before Roman would take it away from her. He still hated when she consumed too much caffeine.
"Good morning," a familiar voice said quietly, making Karo choke on her coffee.
She slowly lifted her head, staring at both Dean and Shannon disbelievingly. Had Roman really invited them for breakfast? Did he really have the nerve to do this to her?
"I'm not hungry anymore," she suddenly said before quickly getting up to leave the room as fast as she could.
"You stay here, Karolina. We have a lot to discuss," Roman warned, looking at her sternly and motioning with his head to the chair she had been sitting on before.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves before she was going to lose her temper. She didn't want to talk to either Dean or Shannon. She was done with them. They had betrayed her trust and she couldn't so easily forgive them.
They all sat down in silence, not sure who was going to start that conversation. A conversation they all clearly didn't want except for Roman. He wanted to clear the air, he needed his friends to get along or things were going to be difficult.
"So...who wants to say something?" Roman asked before sipping on his orange juice, looking at the other three curiously.
Shannon looked at Dean pleadingly while Karo just stirred her coffee absently. Nobody really wanted to talk. They all felt uncomfortable being in one room, but Roman wouldn't just let them leave.
"I just think Karo should apologize to Shannon for being such a bitch yesterday," Dean said, being the first one to have the courage to speak up.
"Excuse me? You want ME to apologize? Look, it wasn't me that ratted on someone if I remember correctly. It was your woman that shot her mouth off about a secret I have been able to trust her with," Karo hissed with anger in her voice.
"It was me who spilled the beans. But you know what? It doesn't even matter. YOU fucked up, Karolina. You did and nobody else. It was right to tell Roman about your little tête-à-tête with Seth because you sure as hell wouldn't have done it," he said, his voice now louder than before.
Roman and Shannon just watched the scene between Karo and Dean, not wanting to interrupt them just yet.
"I wouldn't have told him because nothing really happened. I didn't want to stress him out over something that isn't even important," she defended herself, hating when Dean talked to her like she was a dumb little girl.
"It doesn't matter if nothing happened, Karolina. Because there was something that happened. Although you didn't sleep with him in the end, it doesn't mean that it's okay," Roman said, involving himself in the discussion now.
"I didn't mean for this all to happen, Karo. I swear," Shannon said, her voice almost a whisper.
She had been crying all night long, feeling horrible that she almost ruined her best friend's relationship just because she couldn't keep her mouth shut in front of her boyfriend.
"Yeah whatever. Shove the apology up your ass," Karo snapped, fuming now.
"Don't talk to her like that or..." Dean started but was interrupted by her almost immediately.
"Or what? You're gonna hit me? You're gonna hit a pregnant woman, is that what you wanna do?" she yelled at Dean, holding her belly when she felt that Joshua had started kicking her forcefully again.
"Okay...shut up. Both of you. Nobody is gonna hit anybody. We're going to calm down now, ok?" Roman said, looking at them both intently. "Karolina, you should have told me. If you had then we wouldn't be sitting here and having this conversation."
"It still doesn't change the fact that she trusted me and I'm sorry about that," Shannon said to Roman before turning her attention back to Karo. "Please accept my apology, Karo. I'm sincerely sorry. You confided in me and I didn't even think about the importance when I told Dean. We didn't tell Roman on purpose. It just...slipped. I know that doesn't make things better for you but... please forgive me."
Shannon looked at Karo with tears streaming down her face. She normally was a strong and self-confident young woman but she felt that she was about to lose her best friend and that just broke her heart.
Karo swallowed hard, staring at her hands which were resting on her belly. What was she supposed to say now? She was still mad. Would she ever be able to trust her again? What if Roman decided to leave her after all? Could she even forgive Shannon for ruining her relationship then?
"Look, I know I've made a mistake and Roman knows that I'm sorry. Maybe you had all the right in the world to tell him. Maybe this was only fair. But Shannon...I really trusted you. I told you all of this because I needed your help and advice. You...you betrayed me and that hurts," Karo said quietly, licking her lips and taking a deep breath.
She lifted her head and looked at Shannon. Her face was puffy and her eyes blood-shot. It broke Karo's heart to see her like that. She knew she didn't do this to do any damage on purpose. Why would she?
"Don't expect me to ever tell you a secret again," Karo added, tears streaming down her face when she realized that she had lost all of her best friends.
She felt so incredibly alone now. She couldn't talk to Seth anymore, she couldn't confide in Shannon. And she sure as hell would never be able to tell Dean anything. She needed someone she could trust. Someone who wasn't Roman. But here she was, all by herself.
"Do...do you forgive me?" Shannon asked hopefully, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.
"I guess. I guess I do. I honestly don't know. I still...I still need some time though," Karo admitted, biting her bottom lip which was a sign of insecurity.
"We did the right thing, princess. Don't forget that," Dean said quietly, calling her by the nickname he only used for her.
He was sorry for yelling at her like that. He didn't even mean to but he couldn't let her talk to and about Shannon like this. He loved this woman, even if he hadn't told her yet.
"I think we will never agree on who was right and who was wrong. Let's just accept that we all have different opinions on this. What happened is in the past and we can't turn back time. We have to stick together, guys. We all need to forgive each other along the way. I can't have you guys fighting when my son is born," Roman said, looking at them all with a serious look on his face.
And that was the most important thing. Joshua, his son, their baby. If it wasn't for him, maybe they would all go their respective ways. Maybe he would have left Karo and maybe Karo would have broken off her relationships with Dean and Shannon. Nobody really knew. But they were in a situation where they couldn't just do what they wanted. At least Karo and Roman couldn't. They were responsible for that little human being that was growing in her belly and that had to be their first priority.
"Forgiven but not forgotten?" Dean more asked than said, looking from Shannon to Karo over to Roman.
They all nodded their heads in agreement. There was nothing else they could do right then and there. Things were going to be difficult but as soon as everything was dead and buried, they would be able to be the friends they had always been. At least that was what they all hoped for.
Karo grimaced slightly when Joshua kicked her again. She knew these weren't contractions, it was still way too early for that but her son knew that she was stressed out about something. She needed to calm down if she wanted him to stop. She had strained her baby so much in the last few days and now it was showing.
"Are you okay, babygirl?" Roman asked concerned after seeing how she winced.
"Yeah...I'm okay. It's just...Joshua is very active right now," she replied, caressing her belly and trying to soothe her unborn child.
"You've gotta eat, princess. I bet he's hungry," Dean said, grabbing a slice of bread and making her a sandwich while Roman took away her cup of coffee.
"I doubt it. She ate more than 20 chicken nuggets last night," Roman said with a chuckle before placing his hands on her baby bump as well.
"Maybe she just needs some rest," Shannon suggested, seeing how her friend had closed her eyes while taking deep breaths which made her worry.
"It's okay, guys. I've read that it is normal for a baby to do that in this phase of the pregnancy. But maybe eating and taking a nap afterwards will help," she said, trying to calm everyone down when they started pampering her.
The last two days had been extremely exhausting. Things with Roman were still difficult and her friendship with Dean and Shannon was still a rocky one. She needed to focus on the good things. She needed to be strong for her baby. She just wanted everything to work out again.