Kutitap
Chuck had planned to take Blair back to New York with him. He knew what Carter was going to want from her, but that Blair had so willingly shared so much of herself with him in such a short time? The thought of them together made him queasy and Chuck was grateful he had arrived when he did. Even Blair in her darkest hour deserved better than Carter fucking Baizen for her first time. Especially when he didn't know it was her first time. At least Carter was safely taken care of; no one would be seeing him for a long time.
But now what? Part of him enjoyed the thought of exiling Blair to Paris forever. However, it's not what he really wanted, nor Serena, or Nate. Blair was a great Queen, when she wasn't abusing her power for stupid reasons. They wanted Blair to be wholly happy, not grabbing for power to hide her fear. He wanted her to not be afraid of love; Chuck had been dismissive of it when they were younger, behaving just like his father. Until he questioned it, until he let himself see how he felt when he was with Blair. If only Blair would take that risk with him.
But first things first: back to New York. Alone. He hoped by spending time with her mother, Blair might be forced to shift some of her perspectives for the better. Eleanor's special brand of neglect and hyper-critical commentary was unique even for Upper East Side standards.
By late afternoon, Blair had settled into her mother's Parisian town home and left word with at the atelier of her arrival. Which now left her to the task of wallowing. She had curled up in the living room with Audrey on the television and a generous box of Pierre Hermè macarons; she was in desperate need of a happy ending. Sweet, vibrant flavors floated over her tongue as she took comfort in knowing what came next in the film- that everything would be perfect in the end. Unlike… unlike this. The fact that she had watched Tiffany's, Holiday, and was now on Funny Face did little for her. If only her journey from New York to Paris had been half so glamorous, if only her rescue from danger had been… had been… she felt tears threatening and she stuffed another macaron into her mouth, hoping the burst of deliciousness would distract from the burning in her eyes. When she swallowed, the sound of the soft crunching of the delicate treat left her ears to be replaced by a girlish squeal. And it was not part of the film. What the…?
Blair sat up enough to peek over the back of the sofa and see into the hallway. She wondered if it was possible to trip off a sugar high? She couldn't make sense of what she was seeing. The woman looked like her mother, but the sound and… she wasn't alone, but what was that? Some hideous, bald little man was swallowed up in her mothers arms and they were…
"Mother!"
A moment of awkward shuffling as the couple disentangled and Eleanor corrected her dress. There was genuine confusion in her voice, "Blair?"
"Didn't you get my message? I decided to come here for the holiday break." Blair refused to look at anything except her mother. They tiny man was staring at her with an unnervingly large smile planted on his face.
"No, I must have been distracted."
It was all Blair could do not to roll her eyes; her mother almost sounded sheepish. Eleanor smoothed her hands over her dress as her daughter watched. It fluttered through her mind; Blair did that, too, to calm herself, to collect her strength. She never noticed her mother did it, and her mother was doing it now- why?
"Blair, sweetie," Eleanor looked at her daughter and smiled, reaching out as she spoke and threading her fingers with the little man's. "This is Cyrus Rose. I hadn't planned on introducing the two of you for awhile longer but… you're here now." Pausing for a moment to clear her throat, "We've been dating for a few months. I thought Thanksgiving was too soon, but now we can all have a lovely Christmas together while you two get to know each other better."
Thankful for years of practice, Blair kept her face free of expression. Pulling herself from her tangle of blankets and box of macarons, she stood and faced this Mr. Cyrus Rose. She was a good head taller than him, she observed, as she outstretched her hand. "Mr. Rose, it is a pleasur-"
"Please!" Cyrus exclaimed. "Call me Cyrus!" He came barreling straight at her, ignoring her offer to shake hands in exchange for… a hug.
Blair couldn't hold it any longer and made a horrified face in spite of her mother's gaze. But Eleanor only smiled at her daughter; even more so when Cyrus began to pull away only to stop and cry, "Not enough!" and hugging Blair even harder. The smallest little sensation rippled underneath her horror as she registered her mother's smile and the warmth of this strange man hugging her. She couldn't place her finger on it, but there was something.
Cyrus insisted they go out to eat in celebration of Blair's arrival in Paris. Eleanor happily complied and Blair stole a few minutes to freshen up and gather her strength. Not even twenty-four hours into her exile and she was too exhausted to now have to deal with meeting- she shuddered, her mother's boyfriend.
Her worn down state meant that she was cold through dinner, verging on rudeness because she had no more power to draw on. Before the crème brûlée arrived, she did manage to muster an impressive yawn, only to realize how real the action was. It bought her some sympathy though her mother kept an eye on her up until Blair could escape to her room. She fell asleep that night crying; tears coming from nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once.
The next storm came the following morning with breakfast. Dorota hadn't arrived yet, but it wasn't a maid carrying the tray this time. It was her mother. "Blair, darling."
Blair lifted her eye mask, surprised to discover it was indeed her mother perched on the edge of her bed. "Mother. Shouldn't you be at the atelier?"
"The company will survive long enough for me to talk with my daughter for a little bit. You were very rude to Cyrus last night. I raised you better than that- even jet lagged."
"Well finding my mother making out with a strange man was a bit shocking. And look at him! He's not exactly up to Daddy's standard."
"I apologize for the scene, but that's enough of talking like that, Blair! Cyrus is an intelligent, kind, and gentle man. He has a beautiful heart."
Blair felt her stomach rolling and her eyes sting with the threat of tears, gazing down she spoke to her breakfast tray rather than face her mother. "I thought the company was your priority. After what Daddy did, how could you? All I see is an uncouth, loud, bald little man making you weak. Why would you let him hurt you, didn't Daddy hurt you enough?"
Eleanor's eyes went wide and she cupped her daughter's face in her hands to lift her gaze, "Blair. Do you know how many years ago that was? You're seventeen now; so much time has passed. A part of me will always love your father and regret that it was not meant to be. But I found my strength in going through all of that, and while our union was not a perfect marriage, a little bit of perfection did come out of it." At this, Eleanor passed one of her hands over Blair's hair.
"Just because I've found love again doesn't make me a weak person, Blair. I shut myself off for a long time after your father left. I was cold and hard… then I met Cyrus. He's taught me that sometimes you have to let yourself be weak in order to grow stronger. With him I can relax and find comfort and calm and… happiness. And because of that, because of him, I succeed and so does my work. Can you understand that?"
Blair weakly nodded her head.
"Good. Try, Blair. I know he's not your ideal, but that doesn't mean he has nothing to offer. It's going to be a wonderful holiday this year, you'll see."
Eleanor stood now and Blair gave up a soft sigh at her situation, poking at her breakfast tray. Walking to the door, Eleanor turned to look back at her daughter, "Eat, Blair. You'll need your strength for Cyrus's hugs if nothing else."
Blair looked up at her mother, mild horror on her face. But Eleanor only gave a smile in return before finally departing.
Within a few days, structure returned to Blair's life. She read a little, played her cello a bit, and didn't sleep in late as Dorota had returned to cluck at her. Cyrus begged her to go Christmas shopping with him and her mother's request that she try led her to agree. She had not yet returned to any real semblance of herself; most of the fashion in the store windows only mildly appealed to her, and she was happy for Cyrus's desire to talk at length to fill her head with something more than her own thoughts. But this was also Cyrus's first chance at her alone. She should not have expected to get off so easily.
"So, Blair. You're mother has told me plenty about you, but I want to know you for myself! Despite what your mother claims, a smart, beautiful girl at your age, must certainly have a boyfriend."
Blair's reply was quick, "No."
Cyrus raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "That was a little too fast. I am a lawyer, and there was something not right about that reply. Care to tell me more? I am a very good listener."
"Why is it because I'm young everyone thinks I should date and have a boyfriend?" Blair kept her voice as cool as she could manage.
"Because love is everything; you should be experiencing your first love, Blair. I have no doubt you go to school with many handsome boys, who are smart and well situated. You cannot tell me not one has-"
"Stop it. Please. I have a choice in this and I chose that the risk was not worth it." Blair interrupted, anything to stop him from causing thoughts of Chuck.
"Oh, Blair!" Cyrus stopped in the middle of the boulevard and attacked her with a hug, "I'm so sorry!"
Blair rolled her eyes. At least she'd stop thinking about Chuck for the moment. "I don't want to be in love, Cyrus."
The impact of her words caused Cyrus to step back, "Blair. You cannot mean that."
"I most certainly do." Blair shook her hair back behind her shoulders and resumed their walk towards Van Cleef and Arpels. "My mother built her empire without a man, and I intend to do the same. No distractions."
They walked in silence for a few minutes. But the comforting quiet was a diversion; Cyrus was formulating a plan. "The boy," he broke into the silence.
"What boy?" Blair sweetly asked.
"Your choice. Let's call him 'C' because it was your 'choice'."
Blair held her tongue.
"Did you spend any time with him?"
"He was a part of my circle of friends, so yes. We've rather grown up together."
Cyrus mentally noted the 'was' and continued onward. "Did 'C' distract from your school, your music, your activities? Did he keep you from spending time with friends and family?"
"No. As if I'd allow anyone that sort of power over me," Blair huffed.
"Good. I'm glad to hear it, not all young women are. So when you spent time with 'C' you felt…?"
Blair watched the sidewalk pass under her feet as they walked, contemplating his question. She forgot the cold of the Parisian winter and recalled the beach in St. Tropez, the night in Ibiza, and felt the warmth and the security of the memories fill her. The ball, his kisses, that kiss at Victrola when he understood her so easily. Her mind began to grow numb from the swell of memories and the emotions tied to them. It began to hurt, and she asked him, "Cyrus, please."
"It hurts, doesn't it- the choice you made?" He put an arm around her as they kept walking.
"Yes, okay. But it doesn't mean I loved him." Blair defended.
"Maybe. But it hurts because it matters, because C's important to you. We're people, Blair. We make mistakes all the time, life is full of them, it's just part of the deal. But life is full of beautiful things too, like love and friendship, and the amazing things that come out of them. The choice is never absolute; it can never be erased but it can be changed and moved past. Just… think about."
It was certainly a lot to think about as they entered the jewelry store. Blair was happy to be distracted by all the pretty things, twinkling at her from their glowing cases. They were here to find something for her mother, but that didn't mean she couldn't look, right? She and Cyrus made a careful study as they moved though the store, noting several items that her mother would like. Blair found some pieces she would not mind adding to her collection, but there was one that drew her back to it a second time.
Cyrus followed her, "Mm."
"It's so simple, but I can't stop thinking about it."
"It's a very powerful color, yet sweet and demure. It suits you, so I'm not so surprised." He offered in gentle reply.
Blair grew a little sad in her contemplation, "I lost my favorite piece of jewelry last week." The headband had shattered so magnificently, in such a burst of light and color… it was the first thing he had ever given her. The realization clutched her throat, until she remembered it wasn't. Not really. His scarf was first. His warm, deep red scarf from Henry Poole.
"I do love the color," she murmured.
"You should take it home then," Cyrus nudged.
"I…" she could but, "I still don't feel much like shopping yet. Apparently it mattered that much." Blair gave him a very weak smile.
Cyrus let out a pleasant laugh and hugged her. Blair wasn't sure she'd ever get use to hugging and made an apologetic smile to the sales staff. Releasing her, he replied, "Come, let's settle on something for your mother then."
As Cyrus, Dorota, and her mother pulled Blair through the days following Cotillion, Serena and Nate pulled Chuck forward. After his return home without Blair, Chuck was hardly ever left alone. Either Nate and he smoked together, or Serena was dragging them both out into the city for whatever she fancied; a show, shopping, a new art exhibit. They left him any combination of drunk, high, or simply exhausted that it was only in the cold light of morning that he was ever allowed to feel the pain of Blair's betrayal and absence. At the time he hadn't felt like analyzing what she had done with Carter- just that something had happened. Now he wasn't sure if Carter had touched her, or if or to what extent she had gone down on him… the thoughts plagued him and it was only his friends who were able to shut them off.
Christmas began to crawl closer and once happy memories with Blair became painful- yet he couldn't stop himself from gazing at the cuff links she gave him or the broken fragments of the headband. He even wore the cuff links one evening; his father was hosting another business dinner and Chuck's presence was required. Something about wearing them made him feel less alone at the large table full of eminent couples. Could that still be him someday? What a distance to have crossed, only to end up nowhere. He successfully made it through the event, a small touch to the cufflinks any time he started to lose focus. At the end, when everyone was slowly progressing towards the door, did Diane Courtland seek him out.
"Charles," she flashed him a smile, "I hoped to have a moment."
"Certainly, Mrs. Courtland."
"I wondered if it would be a huge imposition to ask if you are free for lunch tomorrow? I'm afraid I need your help with something."
"I can do lunch." Or at least, he'd escape the blonds long enough for it.
"Wonderful. I'll see you then. And congratulations on your success with Victrola."
He gave her a tiny smile, and leaned in to give her a small friendly kiss on the cheek in parting. "Thank you. Until tomorrow."
"Nathaniel, I have lunch plans."
The blond forced his way in the suite. "Good, I'll walk with you."
Chuck went to pickup his suit coat and slip it on, rolling his eyes in the process. "I promise, I'm going to lunch to meet someone. It will be fine."
Nate ignored him, "Oh, who are you meeting with?"
"Diane Courtland. She was at the dinner last night and wants my help with something."
Chuck watched as a strange tension left Nate's posture. Who'd he think he was going to see? "That's cool. What do you think she needs help with?"
"I don't know, but I'm happy to help. I owe her for… for last year."
Nate didn't follow. "What did she do last year?"
Chuck mumbled as he slipped on his overcoat, not wanting to recall the memory, "The ball."
"The… oh." Nate stuffed his hands in his pockets and the pair departed.
Chuck was the first to arrive at the restaurant and was happy to escape Nate and have a few minutes to himself. He couldn't imagine what Mrs. Courtland wanted his help with. Aside from committee chair for the Viennese Opera Ball, she was on a few other boards, and ran a prominent not-for-profit. He was a little young to help her with her organization…
"Charles, I'm so glad you could meet me."
He quickly stood and she hugged him in greeting before taking her seat. Blair and Serena were the only ones to ever hug him; it was odd. They chatted easily and ordered their lunch before Diane got to her request. "Being a young businessman, I won't dance around it but rather get straight to my favor. I was hoping you and Blair would replace a couple who dropped out of the dancing corps for the ball. You two were absolutely stunning last year and I would love to have you dance again."
Chuck shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He had not expected that at all. And Blair… yet, he was quite indebted to Diane for the many strings she pulled to make last year possible. Diane noticed his lack of immediate reply, "I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask after Blair. I had simply assumed, after the last time we spoke-"
He held up his hand, "No, it's fine. We… we had a bit of a disagreement at the end of term and she's gone to Paris for the holidays."
"Oh, Charles, if I had known I would never have presumed." Diane's voice was soft with guilt.
"Please, don't. Actually," Chuck paused, something sparking in his mind. He took a slow drink of water, filling out his thought. He- and Blair for that matter, owed Diane for her immense kindness last year. And Blair sure as hell owed him and this… this was part of how she was going to repay her debt. "Blair and I will fill the vacancy for you."
"Charles, I wouldn't want you to do anything for my sake. If you and Blair aren't together, I wouldn't want to cause any problems."
"It's not a problem. Truly. I see it as more of an opportunity, honestly."
"I'm not sure I like the sound of that," Diane gave him a careful look.
"I promise, you have nothing to worry about. When is the next rehearsal?" Chuck gave her one of his best, charming smiles.
"After New Year's, but I had thought you two might want a private lesson before then to get up to speed." This was true, though Diane was keen to see for herself if they were really okay. "Charles, please… if you're not okay, say so."
"Blair has not been herself recently. But I think this event will help her find her way back. Perhaps in the end, I will simply owe you more this second time than I did with the first?" Chuck happily offered this conclusion. Part of him felt it could be true and in the end, in some way, it very well could be.
"Hmm. Then tell me how everything else is going for you? School, Victrola, your friends." Diane was happy to see the young Bass again.
"Good, it's all going well. Victrola… I couldn't have done that without Blair. But it feels great to have something really my own. I'll be making some more improvements on it over the winter, in time for when things pick up in the spring. My friends," Chuck smiled to himself, "They're being good to me. They're worried after the fallout with Blair. But they barely leave me alone long enough to sleep, so I've hardly had time to process much of anything."
"I am glad to hear it. You'll want to be strong when Blair comes home. After what has passed, are you still so certain she's your match?" Diane offered, wondering if he had yet asked himself the question.
Was he? He thought on it, and it took less time to find an answer than she had been expecting. "When we all sat around the table last night, I saw my solitary father at one end and became aware of my strong desire to not be that. But I found I was not alone, even then. I wore…" he cleared his throat, uncomfortable exposing how Blair had comforted him in spite of everything, "I wore cufflinks she had made for me, and they gave me the strength I knew I would feel had she been at my side."
"Charles." Diane smiled and reached out to touch his arm, "That's so beautiful. If you believe being at the ball will help you, then I am glad of it."
Lunch passed cordially between Chuck and Diane, and he left feeling resolved in his decision. Now… it was time to bring Blair home.
On Christmas morning, Blair awoke feeling deliciously light. Cyrus and Eleanor were already waiting around the tree for her. Eleanor proffered her gift first, a small envelope, "This is the first part. The other part comes tomorrow morning."
Blair looked curious as she pulled it open; tickets. To an evening at the symphony the following night, "Oh, I love it! Thank you." She hugged her mother, excited and curious to see what the other half would be. It had to be shopping, right?
Then Cyrus was happily pushing a velvet case towards her mother before he pushed a smaller one into her hands. "Cyrus?"
"I'm so lucky to have two beautiful, powerful, amazing women in my life."
Before even opening the cases, they hugged him. As they pulled away, mother and daughter looked at each other and smiled, before saying, "Not enough!" and hugging him again.
"Enough, enough!" He laughed, encouraging them to open their boxes.
Blair watched her mother open the gorgeous necklace they had settled on for her; stunning dark green jade and shining diamonds that would drip over her skin. "Oh, Cyrus."
Naturally, she kissed him. Which Blair decided was her cue to snap open her little black box. She knew what it was and was touched beyond words when she saw it nestled there. A beautiful gold ring with a flawless, vibrant ruby heart at its center. She pulled it free and slipped it on her right pinkie finger, smiling at how it looked on her hand.
"Well?" He and her mother had stopped kissing and he was watching her.
"It's perfect."
He hugged her again, "Wear it and remember it matters. Love matters, Blair. Love yourself, love life, love those that matter to you and who make your life worthwhile."
It made her tear up a little; his gesture, his words, his encouragement, "I will get there someday, thanks to you. I promise I will."
Eleanor looked at the pair as they pulled apart, both looking a bit watery, "What has gotten into you two?"
Blair gave a small laugh and wiped the tiny hint of tears away. "It's something just between us, sorry, Mom."
The afternoon was lazy and in the evening, everyone dressed nicely for dinner. As Blair came back downstairs, there was a knock on the front door. She looked at her mother. "Who would be disrupting our Christmas dinner?"
"It's hardly a disruption if they've been invited."
Blair looked from her mother to the front door. Dorota let their guests in.
It was Harold and Roman. Eleanor and Cyrus moved to the door to greet them, but Blair pulled back into the shadows. She had seen her father a few times over the years, once the divorce had been settled. But it was always awkward and strange, and she couldn't understand what her mother was thinking in inviting them to their Christmas dinner.
"Blair." Eleanor turned back to see where her daughter had gone. The second time she said her daughter's name it was a bit more forceful. Blair inhaled deeply and came forward to say hello.
"Blair-Bear!" Her father beamed at her and gave her a hug.
"Hello, daddy." Blair tried to enjoy the hug, but it was difficult.
Roman then took his turn and hugged her. That really was too much- what was with everyone and all this hugging?
Thankfully, Eleanor then moved everyone into the dining room. Blair kept polite through the meal. She quickly developed the habit of twirling the little ring about her pinkie when she drifted off into her thoughts. She was uncomfortable, everyone was pleasant enough, but it was all too strange. Many of her thoughts and feelings were still stuck as the little twelve-year-old who had to watch her parents tear their family apart. So this entire scene was surreal to her.
But Cyrus was there and he kept pulling her back into the scene. And she was forced to watch her parents. They were nice to each other- like friends, old friends. They weren't uncomfortable, no one was cold, no feelings were hurt. There were smiles, even some laughter, they told stories about her, about baby Blair. She thanked the heavens she was having wine with the meal; Cyrus stopped her at two glasses but, really, it helped her a lot.
The group retired to the sitting room for dessert. Blair settled on one of the sofas to relax and watch the adults. Her father joined her and they watched the other three chat, Roman expressing his admiration for the jewels Cyrus had given Eleanor for Christmas. Blair glanced at Harold as he looked at his partner. "You and Roman seems happy."
Her father smiled at this. "We are."
Blair had been plied with food and drink enough to push a subject she would never normal tread near, "Do you ever miss New York?" Do you ever miss me, our life?
"Sometimes, but…" Harold gazed down at the carpet, becoming stuck.
"But what?" Blair mimicked him, looking down at her lap.
"But I don't know how to be there." He turned to his daughter and passed a hand over her hair, "Blair-Bear, New York is yours. What happened was such a struggle for everyone. That your mother can even stand the sight of me I consider to be a miracle. I don't dare hope to have your understanding or forgiveness, too. So I just… gave you your space."
Tears started to burn in Blair's eyes and her throat tightened. "But you're my father. You weren't supposed to hurt us like that."
"Oh, Blair." Harold pulled her into his arms and held her. "In a perfect world, I would have never hurt myself like that. I was too weak to be the person I really was; no matter how much I loved your mother, that wasn't me. My greatest regret is that two people I love so much- that matter more than anything to me, were hurt more than any others by my… my blindness and weakness."
At his last words, Blair somehow managed a small laugh through her despair. "I understand better than you'd think."
She pulled out of his embrace and wiped her eyes. She looked at Roman with Cyrus and her mother, then back at her father. "You really love him, don't you?"
Harold turned his gaze from Roman to look at his daughter, a smile on his face. "I do. He makes me stronger."
With that reply, Blair stood and went to Roman.
"Blair?"
And without provocation or any warning, Blair hugged Roman. "Merry Christmas, Roman."
The last part of the evening passed in an easy warmth. Harold and Roman departed before Cyrus brought out his special hot chocolate to close the day of festivities. Apparently the 'special' was the excessive amount of alcohol he added to it. The poor man had to help Blair to bed; up the long beautiful spiral staircase they climbed, Blair a playful mix of honest and secretive.
"You were so good today, Blair. I'm proud of you. Did you have a good talk with your father?"
"I did," Blair slurred a little, "He loves him. And Mom loves you. Roman loves Daddy. You love Mom."
She continued to wobble up the stairs as she listed all the love surrounding her. She sighed and then, in her delightful intoxication, grinned and leaned in towards the little man.
"Cyrus," she whispered, "You want to know a great secret?"
"I'm a great lawyer and therefore an excellent secret keeper."
"Last spring, in Ibiza," Blair was giddy, "you won't tell, right?"
"Promise."
"That night, when Chuck tucked me into bed," Blair giggled with her excitement, "Chuck said he was in love with me."
"Really?"
"Well," Blair suddenly felt tired once more and leaned her head down onto his shoulder, "Maybe? I was falling asleep, so I'm not sure. I'd forgotten about it, and maybe it was a dream, but it really makes sense, doesn't it?"
"I don't know your Chuck, but I'm sure if you think so, it must be true. How could he not love you?" Cyrus was helping her into her room now.
"Because I was weak. Because I was not good to him." Blair tumbled into her bed as Cyrus lifted the covers for her. "And that's why it happened, isn't it, Cyrus?"
She pulled the covers close and started to sob.
Cyrus stroked her hair, "Shh, my little turtledove. It doesn't have to be like this forever, you'll see. For now, just rest, and keep him in your heart."
The crying was the last ounce of her energy and Blair was asleep before Cyrus even closed her door.
For much of the night, her sleep was a black, dreamless place. But eventually, he came to her in the darkness. She was tangled in her sheets, but he found her, guiding her hand to wear she ached for him. Her mind was clogged with memories of him and her; the way she was drawn to him, to his touch, how it felt arching into him, the taste of his mouth, the taste and feel of his cock in her mouth.
She moaned in her dazed state, awake yet still sleeping. Her fingers groped to push passed her underwear and into where she needed to feel him. She burned with desire, the memories so bright in her mind, she could feel his touch everywhere. She gasped in frustration, tears glistening under her eyelashes as she pushed into herself over and over again. Her fingers were not his and her body knew that as it craved more. For the first time, she finally let her mind slip into imaging what it would be like to be his. To feel him buried inside her, to have him fill her so completely; the idea made her pant and her head spun. Her body was desperate to feel it and Blair shoved her fingers harder into her core, going out of her mind with her need to orgasm.
It was awful. She finally orgasmed. And it left her nearly crying herself to sleep. It was the most unsatisfying end, the intensity of her want and desire should have exploded though her body, but instead, it somehow collapsed in on itself in a sad little spark of pleasure. Distress and shame kept her company as she fell back into black, empty sleep.
The next morning, breakfast helped shake the horrible mood her sleep had left her in. Shopping! They were going shopping! Blair could not get ready fast enough. She was bubbling over in excitement; she couldn't imagine where they might be going. Obviously she would be getting a new dress for tonight. Chanel, Oscar, Dior?
Blair frowned a little when the car stopped in front of a fairly normal looking building. Nothing in the windows, and she couldn't see the awning over the door. Hmm…
But one should never doubt Eleanor Waldorf, and especially not where fashion is concerned. Once ushered inside, Blair could barely contain a gasp at the beautiful gowns on display. Stunning, each piece was even more beautiful than the next. The sales girl Eleanor had pushed towards Blair could hardly keep up, she couldn't pick and wanted to try them all on. Cyrus laughed, ever good natured, and didn't mind the time Blair spent playing at one of her passions. He did tease her at one point, "Apparently it didn't matter this much."
Blair glowered at him in response and pretended to throw a mini-tantrum like an offended super model, only giving him a sweet smile before she disappeared to change again. Slipping into beautiful purple dress this time, Blair came out beaming and spun, loving how she felt in the silken dream.
Cyrus smiled, "I think 'C' would have a hard time staying angry with you if he were to see that."
"You think so little of him? That he'd fall to pieces at the sight of a pretty dress?" Blair challenged.
"No, no. Not at the sight of a pretty dress. But of you, happy and smiling, beautiful and elegant, in a pretty dress? That's something a hot blooded boy simply cannot help."
Blair smiled a little before rolling her eyes in defense. That was enough of that and she returned to the dressing room.
By the time the process was completed, she had ordered several dresses and had one to be delivered before tonight's concert. She couldn't wait. Now she just needed shoes, and maybe some new stockings, and fresh lingerie wouldn't hurt…
In all her happiness, being on Cyrus's arm and seeing her mother smiling, Blair decided her exile in Paris wasn't so bad. Maybe she never needed to return to New York?
AN: Thanks to Anjum for the edits! She gave me some harder ones this time and I think I still messed it up :P The title 'Kutitap' is Tagalog for 'Glimmer' translated by the very awesome Eileen, HeyEileeen on Twitter.
While I think this is an interesting chapter, I'm afraid it's not a very exciting one- no CB and all. But can't you feel the foreboding? It's about to get really interesting, really fast! Let me know what you enjoyed? I'm exhausted and tempted to head desk constantly at work right now. Hearing from the readers is always such a joy! Plus, let's face it, with the show having ended almost four months ago, it's nice to know we're not alone out here :(
As always, favorite line? Anything surprising? And speculating is always fun to read :D Until next time, much love! xoxo ~K