Previously

As I was about to approach him and take him to the canteen, Rachel Berry held her arm out for him and he hooked his arm in hers, letting her lead him out of the room and down the corridor.

I was left alone in the classroom with a shocked face and a stabbing sensation at my heart.

I paced down the corridor after the lesson, not wondering if I should feel betrayed or just lonely. What right did I have to feel betrayed? When did I ever not feel lonely?

I kept to the sides, near the lockers, where shoves would make me travel less far. I wasn't in the mood to be bullied. Not now. Not ever, but especially not now. I didn't know a lot about Rachel Berry. I knew she was a Barbra Streisand worshiper and wanted to star in a Broadway show. I also knew that she'd stolen away from me the only person who knew my deepest secret, the only person who could tell who I was within an hour of knowing me. But that hour was now turning into hours, and I was started to feel like I was being avoided.

I entered the canteen. Most people had finished getting their food now. I considered it safe to stand in line for mine.

I found the emptiest table, the furthest away from everything else that was happening in the room. It was lonely, but that was what I was used to at lunchtimes when Finn played football. Why should today feel any different?

I pushed the slimy spaghetti around my plate. It felt different because for once I actually had someone else.

I got a book out from my bag. War and Peace. I had almost finished it, the Harry Potter bookmark sitting about two thirds of the way through. I pushed my tray away and read until my band vibrated for end of lunch.

I pondered, as I returned my book to my bag, what would have happened if I'd said yes to Kurt before he'd left that classroom. I wondered if he'd've been happy to keep us a secret until I was ready to come out or if we would have walked down corridors hand in hand. I speculated about the reactions of the McKinley society.

I let out a tear at the thought that I'd never be able to hear him say "I love you."