A Life Turned Upside Down

Chapter 21 – Confrontations and Apologies

"What's so extraordinary about my phone?" Alex asked

"Muggle devices don't usually work in Hogwarts." Snape said plainly.

"So? My phone does big deal?" Alex said irritably as they approached Snape's chambers.

"I'll ask Dumbledore about it." Snape muttered more to himself than anyone else.

"Knock yourself out." Alex snarled as he stormed into the bedroom he remembered he had shared with Draco.

Draco. Did he know that Snape was not his father? Probably not as Snape himself was such a coward. Alex lay down on his bed with an almighty thud, he shuddered slightly as he tried to position himself comfortably on his back but gave up hope of being comfortable after trying two or three variations of lying on his back.

Alex stared angrily up at the ceiling. Why had he been so forgiving of Snape? Snape knew damn well what Alex would suffer, he had said it himself and still he left him there. For all Snape knew Alex could have been dead, if he hadn't collapsed in PE who knows when Alex would have heard from the wizarding world again?

He finally came to the conclusion it was because he was weak.

As Alex closed his eyes and tried to push his anger for his father away, Snape knocked on the door. Alex ignored point blank and as the knocking persisted Alex grew increasingly agitated.

"WHAT?" Alex shouted.

"Can I come in?" Snape asked in an unreadable tone.

"If I say no you'll come in anyway so what is the point?" Alex shouted sarcastically and Snape followed by entering.

Snape looked at Alex and shook his head. "Why are you so angry all of a sudden?"

"Well let's see." Alex sat up. "First of all you haven't even apologized for letting me leave and not coming to get me after knowing full well what would happen, how about the fact that you think I should forgive you so easily and to top it all off for pushing me into leaving in the first place!"

"Alex... I..." Snape couldn't seem to find the words.

"How long would it have been before you had come and collected me? Would you have come at all?" Alex snarled. "And my ever changing mood swings? My life has just been turned upside down dad, what did you expect me to do? Just except it all and play happy families?" He spat the word 'dad' with a particular bitterness that could only be managed by someone with the intent to hurt another.

"Alex I'm sorry you went through that." Snape said, his voice not his own.

"Too little, too late." Alex scoffed.

"I can't change the past Alexander, I am sorry for what you have been through but I cannot change it." Snape said simply.

"See! You won't even admit that it was because of you that I went through that! You told everyone I wanted nothing to do with the wizarding world, what was it dad? Did Draco measure up as a better son?"

"Alexander Paul Snape!" Snape barked. "I will not be spoken to like that!"

"It's the least you deserve." Alex spat and he could see the bleak colour in Snape's cheeks getting redder with anger.

"You are just like James Potter! Arrogant, selfish, insolent; the list goes on! I will not tolerate being spoken to by a child like that let alone my son." Snape shouted angrily but this only sparked an even angrier response from Alex.

"GO ON THEN! BATTER THE HELL OUT OF ME!" Alex screamed at his father and then removed his own belt. "HERE'S YOUR WEAPON!" He thrust the belt into Snape's hand.

Suddenly Snape's senses came back to him as he stared down at the brown leather belt in his hands. He looked up at his son and saw Alex trying to hold onto his tears, to stop them from falling. What had he done? This was all his fault!

"Alex." Snape said softly as he placed the belt down and approached his son. "I will never hurt you like that savage did." He reached out for his son and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I truly am sorry my son." Snape said and then an overpowering sense took over him as he pulled his son into his arms and held him tight against his chest. "Never be afraid to cry Harry, Merlin only knows you've had enough reasons to."

And that was when the mask broke, both father and son finally tore down their defensive walls and embraced the moment each allowing the tears they'd held captive for many years to finally escape.

"I'm sorry, so sorry." Snape whispered over and over again as he held onto his son and stroked his back gently.

Alex flinched as Snape's hand touched a particularly tender spot on his back. Snape held Alex firmly by the shoulders and sighed. "How badly did they hurt you?" He asked not really wanting to know the answer.

The tearful look in Alex's eyes told him what he didn't want to know and the shaky voice that came from the teen only comfirmed it. "More than you could ever imagine."

As Snape looked into Alex's empty green eyes, he broke. He'd caused his son all this pain when it wasn't necessary if Snape had just believed Lily in the first place then none of this would ever have happened. Alex would have never been Harry, he would never have lived with the Dursley's; he would have been allowed to grow up at his own pace. He would never have gone without.

How could Snape rebuild his relationship with his son? It was amazing that this boy was still functioning let standing in front of him. How could Snape have let his son go through all of this? Perhaps he wasn't capable of being nice or showing love to anyone, not even his own son?

Alex looked up at his father to see him battling with himself, this wasn't solely his fault. Alex hadn't helped matters by being so angry all the time. "I'm to blame as well." Alex said softly causing Snape to look up. "I was so angry, I didn't let you in when I should have. I should have met you half way."

"You had every right to be angry after what that beast had done to you." Snape shook his and watched as Alex nervously bit his lip. "We should go and collect your belongings pretty soon so that you actually have belongings left." Snape smirked slightly but just as the words left his lips he heard a call from the living room.

Alex looked up at the nervously and moved his hands awkwardly. "It's only Draco." Snape told him, "and probably Hermione." Alex smiled when he heard her name.

Chapter 22 -

"ALEX!"