The kiss had a special feeling to it than usually, all the senses gave out a more lustful kind than a passionate, Chris's grip was tighter and he began to nibble on my lower lip. Since the room had been heated up from the argument, not litterly of course, we've had my heart couldn't possibly pound any faster than it was doing now, just when I hoped to draw back Chris allowed his hands to caress my back. I remained there, unwillingly tasting the vodka on him and because of it pushed back and away from him. His eyes shout out a surprised look and the hands fell limp onto the bed.

"What are we doing?" I asked, feeling how my stomach was twisting yet there was also excitement and tingling from the tips of my toes to my head. "What is this?" I gestured at the two of us, my eyes were looking anywhere but his glassy eyes.

I glanced quickly and saw Chris ruffle the short black hair that had grown from the moment him and I had first met. "We're just kissing...I don't know what you mean."

I sighed and forced myself to tell be clear about my questions. "Are we...?" I bit my lit nervously in hope that he would receive the hint, at first he still had the quizzical look on his face yet then his eyebrows elevated, giving just a little grin in a "I know now what you mean"-expression. Despite Chris was older and obviously more experienced than me there was still a sense of nerousity coming from him as he sat on the bed, his posture slouching. All of the sudden the room was warmer, it did feel nicer knowing I wasn't the only one on the edgy-field.

"If...you...want...to." He uttered and paused between every word. I glared at him suddenly noticing how awkward the situation felt, the noise from the TV was on since neither one of us had turned it off but the noise wasn't an issue but it rather helped with the embarrassing silence. The whole scenery must have appeared alike a drama scene in a bad show about American teenagers, we were the couple who had left prom earlier in order to finally commit to the one thing we weren't aloud to, sex.

But I was actually ready for the it, especially ever since I laid my eyes on him, the mere thought made me shiver from how stupid it sounded in my mind despite being the actual truth and in the presence the only problem for me was Chris's alertness. He had been drinking and seemed somewhat drunk, why did always have be that he was drinking whenever Chris and I did something...romantic together for the first time.

Maybe he was one of those alcoholics who could manage drinking too much and life work together so the bingeing on alcohol wouldn't look too obvious for the others around him. A person like me with a few "issues", at least I felt there were some, shouldn't be with someone like Chris. He needed a woman who was tougher on the edges, strong, someone who wouldn't sit helplessly and gloat but actually see to things but then again why couldn't I have him? Why the hell did I question everything so much? I loved him and I knew he shared my feelings, and this moment occurring now was the pure proof of how broadly our relationship had developed. I loved him, I really did.

I shook my head and crossed my arms from the imagination that had shown up quickly in my head of how he was taking off my clothes.

"You have to want it too." I answered him back and surpassingly he grinned.

"Why can't you say the word? We're not fourth graders. You're talking about sex to be clear?" I bit my lip again from his upfront words even if he had more experienced than me the words didn't have to be so overt.

Geeez, Sylvia, you're supposed to be a BSAA-soldier and you can't handle the word "sex"?

"Sylvia?" Chris reached his hand and seized my, he gave it a little squeeze but went limp as he noted my faint smile.

The whole situation was embarrassing enough, a twenty-two virgin in this Western culture was always perplexing as I should already have had those sleepovers with friends where we would giggle when telling about "our first time", I should already have experienced the types of sex there are. And where was my group of friends that could at least discuss these matters with me? I imagined myself sitting in a cafe and surrounded by faceless women, laughing over an awkward story regarding boyfriends and sex.

"Viv?" said Chris, trying once more. One of his hands stroked my thigh, I looked at him scared as if he was doing something illegal, my eyes were widening utterly, I was wearing shorts and the touch of his skin felt more aberrantly than usual and Chris had a playful glare in his face. When alcohol mixed in his blood I distinguish that it seemed like his personality changed, no longer was the captain a caring and brave man but he revealed an immature and shrewd character.

"Uhm, yeah." I remarked. "But right now you're drunk and I don't think that's a very smart idea."

His hand crawled onto my arm and he dragged me closer so our faces were only inches away. "I'm not drunk, I'm fine."

"No, you're not." But I placed my hands to his cheek, noticing how soft his cheeks were since he had shaved.

Chris softly kissed my cheek, nose, eyes and a ringingly sensation emerged within me, it was all right if he had a few sips, I mean, he was still clear in his head. His kisses continued from the back of my ear to the neck area and they tickled.

"Stop it." I tittled, leaning my head to where he had placed a kiss.

"Are you absolutely sure?" asked Chris, pulling away and looked me sincerely in the eyes. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready. Don't feel any pressure, Viv."

I nodded my head boldly. "I want this now." Despite his earlier drunkish behavior the kind, caring and fine traits showed theirselves in him and I knew how lucky I was to have Chris, especially as he was what others would to be consider my first love. I was wrong on judging him.

"Come here." he whispered, moving both of his arms to the sides and I allowed myself to settle in his embrace.

"Good morning." I exclaimed, I almost jumped out of bed. Last night had alternating opinions from my view, the night was a progression further in our relationship and things were taking their places and the changes surely had to do with the event of yesterday. I experienced a feeling of peculiarity, the reflection echoed into a dumb nonsensical sound, I know, and fairly even if it did make matters worse, I did note an enlightenment that had never been detected before by me.

Chris was still breathing deeply despite my effort to wake him, instead I headed into the living room. I had believed that losing my virginity would have felt like a greater deal yet it wasn't like that, the whole idea was overhyped. Yes, I did feel a difference but not in a life-changing way, I was merely happy that something horribly awkward hadn't occurred, what if I had let out a weird grunt or worse...Chris allowed the whole thing happen slowly and in all honesty even if I had only slept with one guy, Chris must be an ideal one. He was careful maybe a tad annoying with his questions but amiable. It was surpassing to learn how he could remain sweet despite being under the influence of alcohol and Chris took all the time to make things feel satisfying for me. Secretly, being the first time it was a waste of energy because I was too nervous but there would come other times for me to feel comfortable, I reminded myself.

I began to brew coffee for Chris and helped myself to tea since coffee was still not any of my enjoyment. The weather showed possibilities of potential sunshines despite a few grey clouds, and London emulated a charming picture. I hadn't really experienced the city, work had taken so much time I never even had time to consider doing some sightseeing. But what was the point of getting to know a city I maybe would leave? The plan Chris revealed to me yesterday was to fly back to the States, I sighed at the thought of telling it to grandma. She probably would go mad to hear I would move across the Atlantic Sea again, and only because a guy had wanted me to. It wasn't disagreeable that letting Chris influence me to move such a long distance is a stupid idea, I should stand up for myself yet...I didn't want to engage in a long distance relationship.

"Good morning, Viv." Chris embraced me then sat besides me. His eyes looked puffy.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked. "I made you coffee."

Chris groaned, got up and poured the newly brewed coffee. "I had hoped it was coffee I was smelling. Ahh, you're the best."

"Is it good?"

He licked his lips after taking a sip, nodding.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Whatever it is you want." He refilled the glass and finished by drinking the beverage in one sweep. "It's weird, you know. I don't have any hangover."

"I've never experienced one."

"Really?"

"No, it's true."

"Damn, Sylvia. It's about time, don't you think." He grinned and winked. "We've gotta let you live the night life in London sometimes."

"I believed you had more sense and responsibility than encouraging me to get wasted in a crappy nightclub, captain." I uttered, placing emphasis on the last word.

"When I was your age, maybe even younger, there wasn't a day I wasn't drunk or having a hangover."

I spit out my tea. "Seriously? I heard a great deal of good things about your youth, especially your time serving in the army."

He grinned again, pouring his third cup of coffee. "If you'd met me in my teens you wouldn't be able to recognize me, maybe my good looks but not me."

"Chris," I muttered and sighed jokingly. "I thought better of you."

He walked towards me, placed himself behind me and began to massage my shoulders. The movements were uncomfortable and harsh but I let him carry on.

"So is this the wrong time to say that I think we should stay home and relive last night?." He whispered in husky voice. I grinned and without any words gasped his hand and led him into the bedroom.

I felt so bad when I saw how long ago it had been since I updated, especially since I had promised to update earlier to a reader and TWICE a week. I can't lie and say that time is the only issue but seriously...life got in the way :/ I also published the story when it was the summer and I had nothing to do so I could write all the time. Hopefully now that I've actually updated the story and am getting used to writing often again the next chapter will be up soon. But just one last thing before you click down this page, would you be interested in a chapter from Chris's perspective?