April Fools Update (in other words I'm not dead!)
Author's Note: So I'm a terrible person and wrote this monstrosity as an April Fools prank to my lovely readers. You guys really didn't deserve this!
The first little bit is an excerpt to the actual chapter, so you get a teaser (yay!). Hopefully the real update won't be much longer of a wait
The Laytonmobile jerked sharply on the old dirt road throwing Emmy into the door. She cursed under her breath, ignoring the jolt it sent through her, and steadied her hands on the wheel, taking caution to avoid any more potholes. She didn't remember the ride being so bumpy last time.
Though, she wasn't driving as quickly the last time, or dealing with broken ribs. Either way it couldn't have been much further.
Emmy hoped Luke and the Professor were doing alright. Surely, they'd be at her flat by now… perhaps even on their way to the cottage. The clues she'd left for them were nothing too difficult; she was confident the Professor would have it solved in no time. Hopefully not too quickly. She couldn't have them show up too soon, put themselves in danger.
If all went well it would be all the time she needed to get to the cottage, find Coates' Barthalul artifact, give it to the mystery man –or woman…it was hard to tell with the scrambled voice. Then she would be done with the whole mess. Hopefully.
She pulled onto the side road, the one leading up to Coates' cottage. She took a step forward and stopped in her tracks. Something was moving in the bushes…someone was there—
Emmy let out a cry as a sack was thrown over her head. Her attacker had a tight hold, and no matter how she fussed and kicked he held his own. She was pushed into the cottage and shoved onto something soft, likely the old sofa.
The sack was ripped off, and Emmy was met with darkness. Her muscles tensed, prepared to leap at whatever came next. She was ready to protect herself, to—
"SURPRISE!"
The lights flicked on and a series of streamers and confetti burst from the ceiling. Emmy's jaw dropped as she looked over her captures: the Professor, Luke, a girl in an orange dress, and … Descole?
"W-what's going on?" she stammered.
"Happy Birthday, Emmy!" Luke cried and he skipped, handing her a balloon.
"But it's not my birthday," she hesitantly took the balloon which read 'Congratulations it's a boy!'. "What's with this? I'm not even pregnant."
"They didn't have the greatest selection at the party store, my dear," Layton lifted up his top hat, revealing a cup of tea underneath. He picked it up and took a sip, before placing it and his hat back.
"You keep tea under there?" Descole's scratched his temple. "Isn't it cold?"
(Everyone ignored Descole because his comment was too rational to consider.)
"At least the party store had confetti!" the girl in the orange dressed squealed and threw a handful of the stuff in the posh man's face.
"Hang on a second," Emmy shouted, looking from Descole to the girl. "What are you guys with our boa-wearing-nemesis? And who's she?"
"Dammit, Flora, you're not in this timeline!" Descole spat, "Hang on a minute? Did you just diss my boa?"
"I didn't want to be left behind again," said the girl whose name was apparently Flora. "And parties are fun."
"Can I cut the cake?" Luke cried, flailing his arms.
"No, Luke," Layton pulled the boy back. "Flora made the cake. It could be full of poison or spiders or inedible materials."
"I made it for Emmy," Flora beamed. "For her birthday!"
"My birthday's not for another three months," Emmy pointed out, sure she'd gone crazy by this point. "And I've never even seen you before…"
"Then it's an early birthday," said Layton.
"Or a belated one," Descole sneered. "I never wished you 'Happy Birthday' last year."
"Why'd we have to bring Descole again?" asked Flora. "He's ruining the party."
"Because Don Paolo already had his cameo in this fanfiction," Descole retorted.
"Professah! Professah! The cake! We need cake!"
"Shut up, Luke."
"Professor, I think Emmy will feel better if she has cake!"
"Shut up, Flora!"
"Layton, put a muzzle on your pests!"
"Shut up, Des—"
"EVERYONE QUIET!" In turn, everyone turned to a frazzled Emmy. "I don't know what's gotten into you guys. Some of you are complete strangers" –she pointed at Flora, who began to cry— "But I was in the middle of a very important case, and all of the sudden… all this happens!"
"Yes, don't fret about the case. It was a set up to get you here," Layton smiled. "It took a lot of planning on everyone's part."
"Most of which I did, while these lazy dullards sat around eating crumpets and solving puzzles," Descole grumbled.
Emmy sat back, flabbergasted. "So, all this, everything that's led me to this point…this was your doing?"
Everyone nodded. "Don't you love it, Emmy?".
"So, what you're all saying is that you stole the Barthalul artifacts, sent me hate mail, then on a reckless adventure where I trashed my scooter, and an entire ball. Then you forced me to recall traumatizing memories, had me fight with the professor and sent a group of thugs who almost beat me to death just for…a surprise party?"
"Yes, it would appear that way, my dear."
"WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"
"It was some crazy headcanon."
"You said you were bored of your office duties as my assistant."
"Surprises are fun. So's cake."
"Well, I know Layton wanted into your pants …."
The Professor sent Descole a glare along with an ungentlemanly gesture.
"But weren't you surprised?" Flora looked expectantly at her.
"Someone shoot me," Emmy grumbled, and began bashing her head against the wall.
"CAKE TIME!" Luke squealed and pulled out a knife from bloody nowhere.
"Luke no!" Layton screamed.
"Yay, cake!" Flora jumped in joy.
"It's a lie!"Descole growled.
And then Luke cut the cake and the Professor was right about the cake not being an edible cake. It was a bomb. And they blew up with a KABOOM!
The end.