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Chapter 21
"I'm going to see Amy and wish her a Happy New Year," Clara announced, grabbing her coat and was already halfway out of the door when Alex stopped her.
"I could come with you," he suggested casually.
"Uhm, better not," she replied, rummaging through her brain for a good excuse that wasn't an obvious lie, "I think she wants some girl talk. We haven't really gotten around to that lately."
"Oh, okay," Alex muttered and gave her a peck on the cheek, "See you later then."
Clara was out of the house before he even had the chance to say something else and rushed along the pavement until she finally reached Amy's and Rory's house. Nervously she rang the doorbell, hoping that her friend wasn't too tired or hungover to talk. Luckily she opened the door cheerfully.
"Hey Clara," Amy said happily, "Come to wish us a Happy New Year?"
Clara forced herself to smile. She needed to talk, she desperately needed to talk.
"Oh dear," her friend said when she saw the look on her face, "What happened?"
"I screwed up," Clara replied, "Or I will. I'm in the process of screwing up."
"Okay, that sounds bad. Come on in," Amy held the door open for her as Clara entered and both went straight into the kitchen.
Rory said hello, but after Amy had thrown him a look he excused himself and left and Amy set out to make them both a cup of tea.
"Okay, what happened?" Amy asked after she sat down at the table next to Clara.
Clara took a sip and realized the tea was still too hot to serve as a distraction. "John happened."
Amy chuckled. "I already kind of guessed that. What is going on between you two?"
"Nothing," Clara said defensively, "Well, at least it used to be nothing. We are friends, good friends."
"But how? When did that happen and most importantly, did he really go to prison for murder?"
"He did, but that's a long story. There is nothing you should worry about. And I guess we were friends from the beginning. I just feel really comfortable around him," Clara explained, "He's a great listener, he cheers me up. Everything is just so easy with him."
"Sorry, but so far that doesn't sound like screwing up to me," Amy said, raising her eyebrows curiously.
"We kissed," she said simply, looking into her friend's shocked face, "Twice. Or three times, depending on how you count the first one."
Amy gasped. "When? How? Clara, I need to know everything!"
Clara sighed and told her friend all the details about the first kiss, or the first two on the night of the theme party and about what had gone on the previous night.
"You cuddled all night? And nothing happened?"
"No, John isn't like that," Clara explained, "But, Amy, I would have. I would have gone further than just a kiss if John hadn't stopped me, despite Alex. I just didn't care."
"Well, things with Alex have been rough, haven't they? Maybe you just wanted comfort."
"But I shouldn't want that!" Clara said, her voice now small and broken, "When Alex got mad at me for being friends with John and keeping it from him, I should have ended the friendship, even if it was just to make Alex feel better, but I didn't want to."
"Question," Amy suddenly said, "Imagine that Alex didn't exist and you were single – would you be with John? Romantically?"
She thought about it for a moment and nodded before her mind had even formed the words. "Yeah," she replied weakly, "Yes, I would."
Her friend sighed. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but it looks to me as if you're in love with him."
"I was afraid you were gonna say that," Clara said, "And I'm afraid that doesn't help me at all."
"Well, Clara, you're my friend, so whatever decision you make I am going to have your back, but you've got to make a decision. And make it soon. You want to be with John? That's fine, but be honest with Alex. He's a good guy and he doesn't deserve to be played with. You decide to stay with Alex, you have to stop seeing John because you know that something will happen eventually."
"John and I are going to Glasgow together in February," Clara said, "It is something I promised to help him with. I will decide after the weekend."
Amy nodded slowly.
"But how about you?" Clara suddenly changed the topic as well as her tone of voice, "You look surprisingly fit for a day after a big party."
Amy gave her a reluctant smile. "We went home shortly after midnight. I was feeling a bit tired."
"Is everything okay with you? You do look pale, well, paler than usual," she corrected herself.
The smile on her friend's face widened. "I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. We're not sure yet and I don't want to get my hopes up but I'm late and I've been feeling a bit off lately, so-"
Clara grinned at Amy. "You think it finally worked?"
Amy nodded, smiling broadly. Clara immediately threw her arms around her friend and hugged her tightly.
"Slow down," Amy reminded her, "It's just an inkling. I could be wrong again."
"Don't be silly," Clara giggled, "You know you're pregnant! I bet you took a test already."
"I did, but they aren't completely reliable. I want to be 100% sure before I start shopping for baby clothes."
"No," Clara replied, pointing at Amy's stomach, "I am absolutely certain there is a small Clara Martha Pond in there."
Amy laughed. "I am absolutely certain there isn't. If it's a girl, well, if it's anything at all, it will not be called Clara Martha."
She pouted at her friend. "Well, that's still debatable, I hope. And I better get back home now. You three have a lovely day!"
OOO
John carried Donna's bag to the platform before he set it down and started looking around, hoping the train would already be there. His sister had been looking at him all the way to train station and so far he had been able to evade the subject.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Donna finally asked, eyeing him expectantly.
"No, I don't," he replied sharply, "Because there is nothing to talk about."
"Ha!" she exclaimed, "The fact that you knew what I meant means there is something to talk about."
"There isn't. Clara is a friend. That's all," he said, staring at the board announcing incoming trains. Damn, the one to Glasgow was 5 minutes late.
"I don't usually sleep on a small sofa all snuggled up to my friends. And I'm not stupid, I saw the way you two look at each other and I saw how flustered you were after the kiss. You can't lie to me John. Remember Nancy?"
"I told everyone that I just helped her with her school homework!" John said defensively.
"Yes, and everyone knew you were lying. At least after mum found the condom wrapper in your room. And for the record, I could tell by your face the first time you brought her home."
"Well, I was 17," he replied, "I wasn't very smart back then."
"Yeah, and you're not very smart now," Donna laughed, "At least not when it comes to hiding your feelings."
"Don't you have your own love life to worry about?" John asked angrily. He knew that Donna was currently single after her divorce and he probably shouldn't have mentioned it, but he really wanted her to stop talking about Clara. Things with her were complicated enough, especially after last night and he hadn't even had time to think about it properly.
"I am single, and happily so – for the moment," Donna explained, "But you, dear brother, aren't. You're head over heels in love with that girl. And it looks to me as if the feeling is mutual."
"Clara has a boyfriend. I don't want to get into the middle of that, not again. I've done love triangles and it never ends well."
The train rolled into the station and Donna sighed.
"Think about it, John, before you make both of you miserable."
"I'll call you," he replied coldly and turned away as soon as Donna had stepped on the train.
John knew that he could have told Donna about Alex being his son. It would have stopped her from trying to meddle with his love life, but then he would have listened to a long sermon about how stupid it was of him to just move on the same street and trying to befriend his son – an endeavour that was failing as it was. His growing feelings for Clara only complicated the matter further. He knew he should just stay away from her, but that was the one thing he simply couldn't do.