A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait! I didn't die! I promise
I have been so busy with my being a senior now! I'm so exhausted! I haven't had a solid, uninterrupted night's sleep since May! I've had so many nightmares! And the second week of school I passed out because I forgot to eat! So now I have to be so careful not to forget again… So now my life is Homework, Sleep, Eat, repeat. Maybe type a bit in there somewhere… I'll try to get another chapter up soon... but no promises...
Thanks to: jekyllhj7 for the Reviewing, to: savvylove for Favoriting, and to: Phoenixfire979 and Yuritwl for the Alerting! You're all awesome. Then Miko Akako for being the bestest beta ever!
As promised: Jesse is in this chapter… This song is Stronger by Sara Evans… It's really good.
Enjoy:
Please Don't Break My Heart
Chapter 21 Stronger
Christian waited eagerly for glee rehearsal to start; he sat in his chair in the back and tapped his foot impatiently as the rest of the club slowly filed in. He smiled at his boyfriend as he sat beside Christian, putting an arm around the back of Christian's chair… The group talked amongst themselves as they waited for Mr. S to come in.
After a few minutes, Mr. Schue walked in talking to a boy with curly brown hair and a pretentious attitude. When the rest of the club saw that the new kid came in, they groaned and complained loudly. Christian looked at them, confused; he leaned over to Kurt sitting a row ahead of him, "What's going on?"
Kurt looked back with his arms folding tightly over his chest… "That's Jessie St. James… he's the devil, evil incarnate, most of the group hates him," He said, not bothering to whisper. Christian glance over at the new guy and saw him staring at the boys, he blushed and leaned back against the chair.
Mr. Schue cleared his throat and said, "Well, Regionals is a week away, and Jesse has… generously offered his services to… help."
The club was dead silent. No one said a word as Mr. S stared around at the high school students sitting in front of him… the tension in the room could have been cut with a knife…
Mr. Schue cleared his throat and said, "This week's going to be about the past," he said, looking around at the still silent group in front of him. "The assignment is to sing a song that you would sing to yourself a year ago."
This brought the club out of their angry silence and got most of them talking about what they were even doing a year ago. Christian knew exactly what he was doing a year ago… he leaned down and rested his head on his boyfriends shoulder listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart, allowing the voices of the group drift into the background.
He stared at the floor as he thought about what song he should sing… what song could he possibly sing about one of the worst experiences of his life? He looked up at Dave and suddenly had an idea of what song to sing…
***PAUSE***
Christian waited nervously on the stage, the lights weren't on yet and he could see the group sitting in the first 2 rows of seats with Mr. S and Jesse behind them. He bit his lip and saw Dave staring at him, smiling. He smiled back and took a deep breath. He walked over to center stage where a stool and a guitar had been set up earlier.
He picked up the instrument and sat on the stool. He positioned the guitar on his lap and gestured to the people who did the lighting to turn the lights on. He started playing the beginning notes of the song…
Memories flashed through his mind as clearly as if he was reliving them all over again. He was back in the hospital late in May… he remembered the light floating painless feeling of unconsciousness… then Hannah's voice pulling him back to Earth… then pain exploded though his whole body as he suddenly remembered pieces of what happened, he thought Thomas was going to come back and kill him… He hadn't remembered that his first boyfriend, his first kiss, his first love, had died trying to kill him.
Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger
The scene in his mind changed to that first morning… that first day back to school. The alarm rang and made him look over at it from his sleepless night. He picked up the clock and stared at it for a moment, before threw it against the wall. He watched as it shattered into hundreds of pieces against the drywall. He stood up and got over to the pile of broken metal and plastic on the floor as his door burst open he quickly took the look of sadness off his face as his sister burst into the room. He assured her that he just dropped the clock as he was turning it off and he was fine. She left as he gave her a smile that looked real enough to make her leave… he'd gotten good at the fake smiles over the last few months…
Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for a minute, but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little but stronger…
Christian and Thomas' song, I'll Be Watching You by Sting and the Police had started to play as he drove to his school that morning. He sat at the red light staring at the radio until he heard horns honking behind him. He glanced up at the now green light and quickly slammed the gas pedal down… going much faster than he normally would have on his way to school. He reached down and turned the knob on the radio, shutting off the sound.
And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change
He remembered the look of pain in Hannah's and his family's eyes as he asked them where Thomas was… He was surprised to see Hannah… they'd had a falling out a few months after Christian and Thomas had started dating… He hadn't liked her… She tried to warn Christian about Thomas… she didn't trust him… This was the first time they'd spoken since March of the previous year.
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be ok
Even on my weakest day…
I got a little bit stronger
He knew something was wrong… only his family and Hannah was allowed to see him and they'd all been so careful about what they said to him… Then he remembered everything that had happened. It hurt so much that he didn't wake up again for a week… They all told him he was lucky to be alive… they thought he was going to give up… He was the miracle they talk about n TV… Christian didn't feel that way…
Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you an hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger
Summer had finally come and Christian was content to sit up in his room alone and stare at the ceiling… His mother and father knew something was wrong… Before Thomas, Christian was happy; always around other people… he'd been that way since he was a baby... He cried whenever he was left alone for more than a moment… that's when his parents had a talk with him… they'd decided to move here to Ohio where Christian's brother had a farm… They'd bought a house, enrolled Christian at McKinley and started a new life…
And I'm done hoping we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around.
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be ok
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger…
I get a little bit stronger
He was ashamed. He was ashamed of ever loving Thomas after the way he was treated… he was ashamed of the way he acted to his friends (Especially Hannah). He was just ashamed of that whole chapter in his life… How long had he wished to change everything about that year? Now he's kind of thankful for it… If it wasn't for Thomas… he'd have never transferred, met Dave and fell in love.
Getting along without you, baby
I'm better off without you, baby
How does it feel without me, baby?
I'm getting stronger without you, baby
His life had gotten so much better. It was perfect with Dave… He still couldn't believe that he ever thought his life was over without Thomas. He almost laughed out loud in the middle of the song! He glanced over to where his boyfriend sat…Even though he couldn't really see the group through the glare of the spotlight…
And I'm done hoping we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking you could ever change
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be ok
Even on my weakest day
I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger
Just a little bit stronger
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger…
He gently sat the guitar back on the silver stand beside him and stood up… he walked over to the edge of the stage and stepped off the edge. He felt Dave's arms wrap around him as soon as his feet hit the floor… he closed his eyes and breathed in his boyfriends scent… Loving the feeling of Dave's arms wrapped around him…
***PAUSE***
Jesse stood silently in the dark alley waiting for his old friend to show up. Footsteps from behind him caused him to turn. The other boy was slightly shorter than Jesse, but he tried his hardest to stare Jesse down. The new lead of Vocal Adrenaline was perfect to be New Direction's undoing. Jesse handed the boy a stack of pictures and Christian's schedule and turned and left without saying a word.
A/N: is there treachery afoot? Find out next time on: Please Don't Break My Heart!
And if you want to know what Christian and Thomas' song was, got to YouTube and look for I'll be Watching You be Sting and the Police… I love the song, Than Miko For it… I didn't know what song to choose… so thank Miko.
Next Chapter: New OC, and poisoned rumors (Will the club never learn the gossip is bad?), and a Sex Scandal! Ooooooo! Spicy… I might split it up into 2 chapters… maybe not… it all depends on what Miko and I think when I send it off in the magical world of documents… and Regionals!
Read review prove your love to me… or your hate… anything!