THANKSGIVING CRACK OMAKE CHAPTER:

Humming lightly underneath his breath, Envy stirred the stuffing with a slight smile on his face, before looking up as light footsteps entered the kitchen. "Hey, puffball," he greeted Winry, who shot him a grin, the girl peering over his shoulder to look into the bowl.

"You almost done?" she asked curiously, casting her eyes across the messy kitchen. "We're all hungry…"

Envy rolled his eyes, dismissing her concerns. It probably didn't help with the matter that he wasn't ever hungry, and didn't remember a time when he was human and could feel hunger. "I'm almost done, geeze," he told her, scowling slightly. "Where is everyone else? They go ahead and sit down?"

Winry nodded. "Yep! The author said they weren't allowed to appear in the scene, because it'd be 'giving stuff away' and all that jazz. Weird, but whatever."

For a moment, the immortal eyed the girl, disbelieving. "I honestly can't believe that you've turned into the voice of reason," he told her after a few moments, turning back to his stuffing.

She snorted. "Puh-leaze. Ed's not here, so who would I get mad at?" Winry told him, waving her hand dismissively.

Envy's brow furrowed for a moment, remembering all the times that he had insulted her and she had gotten massively pissed off, before pushing the matter aside. He'd never understand girls. "You finish your pies?" he asked instead, changing the subject.

If Winry noticed the obvious change (which she definitely did, honestly), she didn't make a note of it, other than a discreet role of her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I'm all done. We're just waiting on you!"

The other smirked. "Done." As the girl turned to look at him, surprised, Envy offered up the stuffing, stuffing his hands in his pockets immediately after she took it, so she couldn't give it back.

"Lazy~." Winry told him, poking him on the back of the head with her free hand, causing him to scowl, before sashaying into the dining room. "Dinner is served!" she announced with a flourish, as Trisha, Edward, Alphonse, and Hohenheim looked up from their discussion.

"Pssh, don't sound as if you were the one who made dinner," Envy drawled, stepping up right behind her, and plopping into the seat next to his Dad. "We all know-"

"That it was Trisha who did a lovely job on the meal, right?" Hohenheim interrupted, seeing the discreet glares the two were beginning to send at each other, and not wanting the two to dissolve into a fight right then and there. The woman in question blushed slightly, pleased (and remained silent, as that was the way she was ordered to by the author).

Ed rolled his eyes, turning a glare onto his father, a fact which made Envy snicker. "Maybe we should move on, so they can talk?" he suggested with a smirk, waving a hand at the fourth wall. "Dad, you do the honors." Winry did them last time, and he was not going to wish anyone a happy anything, so it made sense.

"Of course, son," Hohenheim told him, ignoring the fact that Edward was still glaring at him with the ease that comes with much practice. Turning to the fourth wall, he smiled. "Happy Thanksgiving!"

Word Count: 541 Words

E/N: Envy steps out onto stage, scowling slightly. "Yeah, yeah, I know the author can actually talk for herself, but I like taking over her stuff, so I don't give a shit. Don't bother complaining." He sighs slightly, obviously irritated about something, before continuing. "Now, remember, eat a lot of turkey, start plenty of food fights, and go nuts tomorrow when you're shopping. Did you know that 27% of all shopping deaths happen the day after Thanksgiving?" (*cough78%*) He smirks. "Make it higher~." With that, he walks off stage, but pauses on the steps. "And… Happy Thanksgiving." Envy disappears quickly after that, obviously embarrassed that that slipped out.