Ch. 21

While Dante was across town checking on Nathan at General Hospital, Valerie was pausing outside the PCPD. For a moment she stood there as she deliberated within herself how she should handle any comments that came her way as a result of Dante's and Maxie's argument. The way she saw it, she had four choices. She could argue and defend herself against any negativity, she could laugh it off, or she could ignore the remarks and/or criticisms. Or she could employ a combination of all three, depending on who it was who approached her. She would wing it. Finally making a decision, she took a deep breath and then climbed the PCPD steps.

A couple of her co-workers nodded "Good Morning" to her once she reached her desk, which she returned with a nod of her own. So far, so good. Maybe what she had been anticipating was worse than the reality of the situation. She knew that several in the station enjoyed a good gossip but maybe somehow, she'd been given a break. Exhaling in relief, she turned on her computer and after it booted up she began searching through her day planner for her tasks of the day. Val was engrossed in her work so deeply that at first she didn't realize Randy Hill was standing by her desk waiting to be noticed. "Hey, Randy," she said when she eventually saw him, "how's it going?" "Pretty good. How's it going for you?" "Not bad so far—I've got a light schedule today, thankfully. The project I'm working on in the old records' room is consuming so much of my time so I foresee spending most of my day in the basement." The conversation lagged briefly and then Randy began nodding his head as he stated, "So. Falconeri, huh?" She closed her eyes for a second before sighing and giving him her full attention, responding, "Randy-" "No, it's ok. I just remember you telling me you already had someone in your heart. I figured it might be Falconeri after I heard about what happened between you and Lulu in Jake's. I still thought maybe I had a shot until yesterday. I don't get it, though."

"What do you mean?"

"The guy is married. I've never seen anyone more in love than him and Lulu. They're supposed to be getting divorced but I think they'll make up before that happens. They usually do. Why get involved with something like that?"

"Ok. In the nicest way possible, I'm going to tell you that most of what you're talking about isn't really your concern. What I will say is I have no control over whether or not they divorce but I know his intent currently. If it changes, it changes. More than that, I don't really want to talk about. You're becoming a friend, Randy, and I don't want that to change. I need this subject to be off-limits between us, ok, at least for now."

"I wasn't trying to pry so if I came across the wrong way, I apologize. I don't want to see you wasting your time on a losing proposition, that's all."

"I appreciate your concern, I really do. I don't plan to lose out, but if I do-"

"If you do, just know that I have two broad shoulders you can use to cry on. Oh, and don't forget all this," he said, drawing an imaginary circle around his chest, "that's available, too." She covered her face as they laughed together.

"Thanks, Randy. I mean that. For the laugh, and for the offer of your body." She got up to check the copier for a report she had printed up and Randy stared after her, murmuring, "It wouldn't be a sacrifice at all if it made you take me seriously."

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When Dante arrived at the station, he covertly gazed around the squad room for Valerie. Not seeing her, he thought she was probably doing work in the basement and he headed in that direction. After his conversation with Nathan, he had been worried about her and was hoping she wasn't being harassed or razzed about yesterday's events at the hospital. He was rounding the corner near the basement stairs when Jordan, coming from the opposite direction, stopped him, saying, "Where you headed, Falconeri?" Dante hesitated for a minute as he tried to formulate a plausible answer. Somehow, he didn't think his boss would appreciate hearing that he was going to check on Valerie. "I was headed to the basement, boss. Something down there in the records' room that I saw yesterday that I wanted to go back over." Jordan regarded him with a little smirk on her face as she countered, "Something, or someone? Do I look gullible to you?"

"Not a bit, boss."

"Good. Well you've got time before you need to check on 'whatever it is' in the records' room, plus we can't hold Joey Robbs much longer so you need to go deal with him. You've got bigger concerns than what's in the records' room. Walk with me." She turned and walked up the hall toward her office. His head dropped momentarily and he winced. Damn, he thought.

Once they were in her office, Jordan gestured toward the seat across from her desk as she sat down behind it. She cocked her head to the side and he could tell she was trying to find the right words to address the issue.

"Boss," he began, but she halted him with an upraised hand. "Listen," she finally said, "far be it from me to interfere in the private affairs of my officers or my staff. Normally, I wouldn't bother. Valerie is a friend of mine—she's become special to me. I feel like I need to look out for her interests, here."

"She's special to me, too-"

"Yeah, and that's only part of the problem. Seeking her out the way you're doing is only going to increase the gossip around here. If you really care, you need to keep it professional when you're at work. Office romances are rarely a good idea, Dante. Add the complication of you being a married, soon-to-be-divorced man, and the potential for negative fallout rises-"

"Which is why I'm trying to be careful, Commish. I don't intend for-"

"Intentions count for crap in situations like this. Let me drop some wisdom on you. Whenever these situations go off-line, it's usually the woman who pays. Who has to hear the snide comments and snickers and downright rudeness to her face and behind her back. For some reason, the guy involved almost always gets away unscathed. If you start this thing with Val and it goes wrong, it won't be you who has to deal with the fallout. That's not even touching the potential fraternization issue…"

Against his better judgement, Dante was becoming annoyed and his tone reflected his changing mood as he responded, "First of all, Jordan, Val and I don't even know what we are to each other. We're tryin' to find that out. But it's really no one's business but ours. I can appreciate your friendship with her promptin' you to speak on her behalf, but you don't need to, ok? I think we're both adult enough to handle whatever 'this' is without outside interference. I'm also not sure I appreciate the inference that I'm gonna hurt her. Like it's a given or somethin'. Maybe she's gonna hurt me—ever thought of that? Or who knows? Maybe nobody's gonna get hurt here. And there's no 'fraternization issue' in play. I can't affect her job in that way, only you can. There's no promotions or anything else I could give her in exchange for her bein' with me. I'm not her boss so we're on an equal playin' field as far as that goes. I'm startin' to get insulted that we're even havin' this conversation."

"I'm not exactly enjoying myself either but I feel like I need to look out for her because her nose is wide open with this thing. I don't think she's thinking rationally and someone ought to be. What happens if none of this works out? Can you both work here without drama or is she going to be expected to find another job somewhere else?"

"We're both adults, so yeah, I think we could work together if whatever this is doesn't work out. However it goes, it's ours to deal with and we'll handle it. Now was there anything else, because-"

"Fine. But before you go, last warning. Speaking as your boss, don't let this little romance disrupt my house. Speaking as her friend, you hurt her and I'll break your back, and not in the good way—you tracking me?"

"I'm trackin' you, boss."

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Dante was pensive as he returned to his desk. Did everyone think he was going to hurt Valerie, intentionally or unintentionally, he wondered? He felt strange as he looked around the squad room. He had always thought he had a good reputation among his fellow officers but now he felt as though they were seeing him as a bit of a cad, a bad guy. This situation with Lulu wasn't helping matters, he thought, but that was a special case and he still didn't feel like the demise of their marriage was his fault alone. Just because they were breaking up didn't mean he couldn't be trusted to treat a woman well. Why was he suddenly feeling like his brothers thought he was some kind of scoundrel or something? Maybe he was being paranoid, over-sensitive. Still, the notion that he was a scumbag who made a habit of screwing women over left a bad taste in his mouth, as well as angering him. "Fine," he thought to himself, "Since I'm pissed anyway, I might as well go release some hostility in the interrogation room."

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"Joey Robbs. Lower South Side scumbag extraordinaire. Sorry to have kept you waiting. No, that was a lie—I don't give a damn that you've been locked up all night. Know why you're here?"

Robbs rocked back in his chair as he gave Dante a disgusted sneer. "Probally 'cause you cops can't get enough of my pretty face. You gotta make up reasons to see me."

"Yeah, that's gotta be it—'cause you're so damn beautiful. Whadda you think? You think the guys in Pentonville are gonna find you as beautiful as we do? "Cause beauty has a whole different meanin' up there. I can see you gettin' all kinds of attention."

"Whadda you talkin' about, Pentonville? I ain't done nothin'—you got nothin' on me."

"I don't know—the attempted murder of a cop? Sounds like somethin' to me."

"What, that thing with West? You tryna pin that on me?"

"What? You tryna say you didn't do it?"

Robbs grunted out a laugh and then sat back in his chair with an insolent slouch. "Look, man, that ain't the way I do things. I want someone done, I call a guy who calls a guy. I don't go around stabbin' nosy cops in the back, whether they deserve it or not."

Dante slowly leaned forward in his chair as he put his chin on his folded fingers. In a low voice he asked, "Are you sayin' my partner deserved to get stabbed in the back?"

"I'm sayin' your partner's been goin' all over town nosin' his way into my business. Bad stuff happens on the streets sometimes."

"Bad stuff happens in lock up, too. I'll let you cogitate on that for a while."

"Cogi-what?"

"Cogitate. Think. Ponder. If your brain is capable, that is. Let's talk about the robbery that occurred about two weeks ago Monday the 27th. Can you account for your whereabouts around midnight, one A.M. on the night in question?"

"No I can't 'count for my whereabouts on that night or any other night. And I'm done talkin'. If you're gonna hold me, I want my lawyer."

"Of course you do. Actually, I was wonderin' why you were bein' so talkative in the first place but then no one ever accused you of bein' a brainiac."

His ego pricked, Robbs couldn't resist one last shot as he laughed, "Smart enough to stay one step ahead of you cops."

"Nothin' lasts forever, Robbs. Keep on runnin' and eventually your fat ass is gonna trip and fall and when you do, it'll be me standin' over you with the cuffs, draggin' your ass to Pentonville. Let's see if you're smart enough to stay one step ahead of some guy named Bubba who wants to be your tush cushion."

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Experiencing a deep frustration as he left the station that night, Dante felt that the whole day had been a wasted one. They'd found Robbs, true, but they could get nothing from him. He didn't believe, after having questioned him that Robbs was behind Nathan's stabbing anyway. Like he'd said, he knew guys who knew guys. No way would he get his own hands dirty. Plus, at his core, he was a thief, not a killer. He sighed as he wondered who had a motive for stabbing his partner. Nathan was probably right—no doubt it was some junkie intent on escaping what he in his loaded state thought was his capture. The longer the investigation dragged on, though, the harder it would be to find the perp. He really wanted to bring the culprit to justice for Nathan's sake.

Then there was the conversation he'd had with Jordan. That still rankled. He hated feeling like the whole station was weighing in on his and Val's business. That's the way it usually was in a cop shack but he didn't have to like it. After his discussion with his boss, he hadn't felt comfortable approaching Val at work so he hadn't seen her all day. He wanted to see her, to make sure she was ok. "Screw it," he finally decided, "I stayed away from her all day. That's enough." Having made the decision, he reached for his cell phone and made the call.

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Valerie looked down at her phone with a sense of relief. She hadn't seen Dante all day and she thought maybe he was avoiding her because of the workplace chatter. She answered the phone with more animation than she had meant to, exclaiming, "Dante! About time you called! I haven't seen you all day!" She quickly backpedaled when she realized how she must have sounded, adding, "Not that you owe me a phone call or anything. It's just that I thought you were avoiding me-"

"I need to see you. What are you doing right now?"

"I was thinking of ordering some take out and chilling on the couch. Did you want to come by?"

"Yeah. I've got to make a stop first, and then I'll head over, ok?"

"No problem." They disconnected and she sat back on the couch with a thoughtful look. She thought he sounded frazzled and she wondered what was wrong. She hoped after facing his fellow officers he wasn't having second thoughts about—she cut off the thought. Like she told Randy earlier, she couldn't control what Dante did. If he was having second thoughts, he was having them. There was no point in trying to anticipate what he had to say. She would find out soon enough.

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After answering the doorbell, Valerie opened the door to Dante, who was carrying two Wegman's supermarket shopping bags. She frowned as she pointed to the bags and said, "Did you go grocery shopping? I thought we were having take out…" He walked into the penthouse while explaining, "This isn't food. I didn't want to be obvious by bringing an overnight bag but this is the stuff I planned on leaving over here. Like I told you this morning, I'm tired of having to run home and change before I can go in to work. Now I won't have to." She smiled in pleasure, replying, "Oh, ok. Good. I'm glad you remembered." He sat the bags down on the carpet and then turned to her with a faint smile of his own. He admitted, "I've had a hellish day one way and another and I thought if I could just get one of your hugs, somehow that might save the rest of the night for me." He held his arms out to her and she nonchalantly sauntered over to him, tilting her head to the side as she slyly remarked, "Wow. You came all this way just to get one of my hugs? I'm honored." "Well, to get one of your hugs, and-" He drew her into his embrace, lightly brushing her lips with his own while hugging her tighter. She put one arm around his waist, her other hand reaching up to hold his head still as she skimmed her fingers through his hair. She nipped playfully at his lips and he responded by using his tongue to more fully open her mouth. He groaned a little in his throat and then slowed the kiss down by degrees until they were barely moving as their lips and tongues met over and over. Minutes went by before he, after pressing two soft kisses on her now swollen lips, finally released her. Their eyes were closed as they rested their heads against each other. She whispered quietly, "That was worth waiting the whole day for." "Yeah," he murmured back, "It totally was. I really needed that; I didn't even know how much until just now."

They decided on Fat Bob's Smokehouse because they wanted some comfort food, and Fat Bob's was the best barbecue in town. While waiting for the delivery to arrive, Dante told Val about his frustrating encounter with Joey Robbs. He felt her annoyance when he recounted to her his conversation with Jordan. Val told Dante about her chat with Randy Hill and about how a couple of the admin aides seemed to be regarding her as some kind of man trap now. One of the girls actually appeared to be jealous of her. She couldn't wait until something else happened in the department that would become the next scandalous topic, she told him, sighing aloud.

Dante reached out and gently stroked her cheek as he huskily said, "I'm so sorry you're going through this. If I'd been more careful in front of everyone-"

"You know what, Dante," she replied, coming to a sudden decision, "I'm not going to care anymore. Do you want to be with me?" "Yeah, I do," he told her with a chuckle. "And I want to be with you. That's all that matters. Let people think and say whatever they want to—they're going to, anyway. You know what else?" She asked, her voice getting stronger with indignant conviction. "What?" "I'm gonna stop feeling guilty about all this and just enjoy being with you. There's no changing what happened and truthfully-"

"Truthfully?"

"I regret hurting my cousin. I wish that part of it hadn't happened. A month ago, I would have wished I could take it all back."

"And now?" He queried, genuinely wanting to know how she felt.

"Now I'm here with you, and I'm glad. I'm not gonna think beyond that." Dante was going to respond to that but the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of their dinner. He thought over what she had said as they sat together at the dining table, eating their meal. He hated the fact that he had hurt Lulu. That part he wished he could take back. But sitting here with this woman, laughing and sharing and just being—right now, if he was honest, he couldn't say that he would change anything else.

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