Loaren looked at Thorin with wide eyes. At first, she was unsure wether she had understood him correctly, but he had said it loud and clear. And now, he was looking at her with a heartbreaking expression, which cracked the icy shell around Loaren´s heart. But as soon as the ice broke away, the hurt and anger broke through with the rest of her emotions.

'Forgive you? For what?' Loaren had to turn away from him, his expression touched her more than she wanted to admit. 'For lying to me about everything? Your feelings for me? Your marriage contract to Frigg? For pushing me away after Bilbo told you that he would stay in the Shire? For not talking to me since that day? For not protecting me against your sister´s wrath? What exactly is it that I shall forgive, Thorin?!'

It was then, when Loaren realized that she was crying and the knowledge about how much Thorin had been able to hurt her made her even more angry, but this time her anger was directed towards herself.

'Maybe it is me, who should apologise.' Loaren straightened her back and turned around to face Thorin. 'I thought that we had a chance. I gave into my feelings for you although I knew that it was wrong. I knew it all along. Even when we left the Shire, I had still hope left. I was stupid and naïve. Two traits unworthy of a mercenary.'

Thorin´s expression had turned from pleading, to hurt and then to stony. He knew that Loaren was right about everything she said, but in his pride he would not have his apology torn to pieces like this. He was the king and he had apologized to someone below him – all of a sudden, Thorin felt disgusted by himself. When had he started to see others as below him? He had been nothing merely two years ago. He had been a dwarf without a home, without his throne and without his crown. He had hated the people who had looked down at him and he had hated to be below them. And now, he treated others the same way. But his disgust strongly supported his hurt pride and his stubbornness and he turned away from Loaren.

'You and your men are relieved from duty for an unlimited time.' Thorin told her and could hear her gasp. 'You will stay inside of the mountain until further order and will not leave.'

'Are we under arrest?' Loaren could not believe it.

'No.' Thorin turned around and gave her a hard look. 'You are to do as your king commands.'

But this time, Loaren would not have it, she stepped forward and sneered right into his face. 'You are not my king.'

Thorin was too shocked by the open rebellion, but then Loaren already took a step back and focused on the ground in front of his feet.

'As you command, Sire.' then she straightened and walked away, leaving Thorin in the dark.

Thorin needed a while to gather his thoughts and calm his mind. He had come here to apologise to her in private, but he had screwed up majestically, as usual. The old Dis would have laughed at him and called him the idiot under the mountain, but that Dis was long gone. Men had taken this sister from him decades ago and now men were responsible for new heartbreak. Or better say women….one woman. Still, Thorin would not hate her – on the contrary, he knew now more than ever that he loved her.

0

'Proud…..stubborn….pigheaded…..idiotic….son….of …a…..b….'Loaren cursed with every blow of her training swords against a wooden puppet on the training ground and felt the wood of her training swords split at her last blow.

'Whoa!' a deep voice startled her. 'Language, there are dwarflings around!'

Loaren turned sharply to find Fili and Kili standing behind her, grinning. Or at least Fili was grinning, Kili looked around searching for something.

'There are no dwarflings here, brother.' He said with a questioning look at Fili.

'I meant you.' Fili remarked with an amused tone and ducked as his brother wanted to slap him.

Loaren rolled her eyes and focused on the puppet again; usually Fili and Kili could cheer her up, but today she was not in the mood. Really not in the mood. But her training was interrupted again by Fili.

'You meant uncle, did you not?' he asked with a grin.

Loaren turned around and glared daggers at him, making him step back a bit. She did not want to talk to anybody and even on the training ground, she had not found peace. With an enraged snarl, she swirled around and threw her training swords at the puppet. One of them splitted into dozens of pieces on impact and the other dug itself deep into the puppets groin, which made Fili and Kili wince loudly.

'Glad that she is not mad at us….' Loaren heard Kili whisper loudly and could not fight back a loud and desperate roar.

In the meantime, Dwalin had tracked down his friend and king and grined as he saw his thunderous expression.

'Put your foot into your mouth again, huh?' he asked and laughed out loud as Thorin glared at him. 'Come now, I have a terrific idea…..we ride to Dale, far away from all this female folk…..and drink.'

0

It was late when Dwalin and Thorin walked out of the Inn in Dale. They had put on regular clothes, nobody had recognized them and they had had a long night with songs, talks and lots of ale. It had been Dwalin though, who had talked about him and Ori and Thorin felt as if his ears had started to bleed. He had gotten to know things about the young scribe that he had never wanted to know. Dwalin had asked him what had happened between him and Loaren and told him something about a poor training puppet and his traumatized nephews, but Thorin had not wanted to listen. Now, they were on their way home and Thorin slowly walked to his pony – but which one was it? He saw two ponies, actually four when he counted Dwalin´s ponies. Did they ride to Dale with four ponies? And why were they looking so similar?

Dwalin chuckled as he watched Thorin grab the air until he had the reigns in his hand and already looked forward to their way home. At least the ponies were sober and knew the way home. With rising amusement, he saw Thorin mount his pony and majestically falling down the other side of the saddle. Grumbling into his beard, Thorin managed to mount the beast a while later and they made way back to the mountain. The night air was refreshing and on half the way, Thorin looked better and his eyes focused on the gate. Dwalin took their last moments in private and asked what he had wanted to ask for the whole night.

'Now, when will you stop being a dwarfling and tell Loaren that you love her?'

The guards of Erebor tried to keep a straight face as a dwarf who looked very much like their king and another bald dwarf who looked a lot like the captain of the guard tumbled through the gate in a ball of beards, fists and feet.

0

Loaren´s second in command found her buried under a pile of blankets and a bucket beside her bed in the next morning. He spotted a big mug of mead on the side table and frowned as he saw that it was empty. The older man knew Loaren for a long time and he knew that she could not stand her licor and that she never drank. Of course, he had noticed that there was tension between her and the king, but he had not realized that things had developed that badly. But he had trained Loaren since she had joined the Immortals and he would not tolerate such an undisciplined behaviour from any of his men, not even their leader. He shattered the mug against the wall and made Loaren jump, waking up and pointing a dagger at him.

'At least you did not forget everything.' he mumbled angrily.

'How dare you?' Loaren looked furious at first, but then she started to look sick and threw up into the bucket.

'Forgive me, but I am not the one who behaves like an undisciplined teen.' he dressed her down and looked down at her with raised eyebrows. 'The men are talking, they do not understand why they are relieved from duty and are not allowed to leave the mountain. And instead of informing them yourself and explain it to them, you hide in your rooms like a coward and drink yourself into oblivion.'

He yelled the last part and Loaren winced at the tone. She was the leader of the Immortals, but Temuera had been her mentor and he had been her right hand for so long. He had been with the Immortals longer than her and she respected him highly. The reproach in his voice hurt and she hated herself even more. But Temuera was not finished.

'I have known you a long time, but never have you behaved like the spoiled and rotten princess we all thought you were when you came to us. Never have you drowned in selfpity and never did you neglect your men.' Temuera looked down sadly. 'Do not let them see you this way.'

He threw her clothes onto her bed and recoiled from her room. But at the door, he turned around and his expression was fatherly.

'No man is worth this pain, Ren. Especially not that dwarf.'

When he had left, Loaren felt her tears running down freely.

'Yes, he is.'

0

Thorin woke up in his bed, but with his head hanging down the foot of the bed and his head was killing him. With a loud grunt, he sat up and crawled to the head of the bed, where a jar of water and a few herbs were already waiting. Thorin was about to grab the jar, as the door to his rooms flew open with a loud bang and Frigg rushed in. Thorin rolled his eyes at the sight; he was in no mood for his overly merry wife to be – but he did not see that Frigg was not being merry at all and she did not even smile. When she arrived at the bed, she took the jar of water away from him and frowned at him with a dark expression.

'You!' Frigg pointed her her betrothed, who looked at her perplex and with wide eyes. 'We need to talk!'

For the first time in his life Thorin understood why this particular sentence frightened the living daylight of his fellow dwarven kin. The look in Frigg´s eyes and the tone of her voice were threatening and suddenly he wished that she would be the carefree, nervewracking and merry dwarf lady again.

'I may not be very bright, but I am not stupid!' Frigg started and Thorin had to bite his tongue to not say anything stupid about that fact himself. 'Do you honestly think that I have not noticed what is going on between you and Ren? Do not give me that look, do you honestly think me that thick? Do not dare answer that!'

Thorin was about to answer that one, but Frigg´s threatening finger came closer to his face.

'I did not want to marry you….an old king of the line of Durin, who would never smile and never lose a nice word to anyone. But then I saw you in Ered Luin and you were so different from what I expected. You are handsome and strong and I immediately felt drawn to you. You and your stupid good looks – oh, do not look that smug – looks are not everything! And I want a husband whom I can rely on and who will not hurt me like you hurt Loaren!' Thorin froze at her words. 'I do not know what developed between you two, but she loves you, I can see it in her eyes. I thought that you loved her, too, but I cannot imagine how someone can hurt somebody he loves so much as you did.'

Thorin fought for words, but he had none. Frigg was so right that he could not even think about anything else, but she was not finished.

'At first, when Dis told me about the witch of men who had ensnared her brother, I hated her. But then I saw her and how she acted around all of us. She stayed away from you and was nothing but respectful towards me and even Dis, although Dis never acknowledged it. Her loyalty and her kindness were stronger than Dis´ words spoken in ignorance and I needed to know more. Although I had never imagined to find a friend in the woman to whom my future husband´s heart belonged, I found one. She was at my side when I came here to my new home, she was a support when I felt homesick and she supported me when I felt too stupid to cope with all of my duties as a future queen. I never expected anything from you, since our marriage was forced upon you as well, but I would have appreciated a bit of understanding and respect from your side, even if I am too young and too naïve to deserve it. Our marriage will never be a happy one, but all I regret at the moment is the fact that I have not been a support for Loaren as she was a friend to me.'

With these words, Frigg left the room and slammed the door shut behind her, leaving Thorin paralyzed and in pain. He had never expected those words from Frigg of all people and he felt a high level of respect and gratitude for her open words. It shocked him that even Frigg seemed to be more wise and grown up than he felt at the moment. But suddenly, he knew what to do.

0

Loaren had taken her mentor´s words at heart and walked to the stables to speak to her men. She told them that there had been a minor misunderstanding between her and the king´s sister and her men did not seem surprised. She told them to take care of the horses and their equipment as long as they were relieved from duty and that she would try to solve everything with Dwalin, for she did not want to talk to Thorin ever again. Loaren did not meet Temuera´s glance once, for she was still too ashamed. On her way to Dwalin´s office, she met Ori, who walked the way with her. They had not spoken for a long time and Loaren realized how much she had missed him and Dori. But Ori did not meet with her on accident.

'Dwalin told me that he wishes to speak with you on the western balcony.' Ori told Loaren and tried to hide his grin behind a huge book. 'It´s on the thirteenth floor, you can take the stairway over there.'

Ori smirked as he saw Loaren wince at the stairway. Dori, Dwalin, Balin and him had chosen that balcony, because it was far away from everyone else and the door could be blocked easily. Now, he only hoped that Dwalin managed to lure Thorin there as well. With a smile, Ori rubbed his hands together and hummed quietly on his way back to the library.

Loaren was short of breath as she arrived at the western balcony. She hated stairs and she would never get used to them. But it was the sight which finally took her breath away; the balcony headed West, towards the mountains and the sun warmed her cold skin. For a moment, Loaren relaxed and allowed herself to rest in the sun, until she heard a noise behind her.

'Master Dwalin, you wanted to speak…..' Loaren froze as Thorin came marching through the entrance of the balcony.

When Thorin saw Loaren, he stopped dead in his tracks.

'Where is Dwalin?' both asked the other at the same time.

'That bastard!' Thorin realized what Dwalin had been up to first.

'This sneeky little scribe…' Loaren cursed quietly.

'We should leave…' both said in union again, but they were interrupted by a rumble and huffed voices from the entrance.

'Watch it, only the entrance, not the whole mountain….'

'I am working on it, you….'

'Hurry, they are coming back!'

'What in the name of Mordor….' Thorin managed before the entrance to the inside of the mountain collapsed and trapped them outside of the mountain.

'What just happened?' Loaren could not believe it, she was trapped outside of the mountain with that insufferable dwarf.

'It seems as if my kin has lost their mind…' Thorin muttered and tried to push away the stone blocking the doorway, but nothing moved.

'Is there no other way into the mountain?' Loaren wanted to know and lost all hope as Thorin shook his head. 'That means we are stuck out here?'

Thorin nodded grimly and leaned back against the wall behind him. Balin had lured him to the balcony, saying that Dwalin had to show him something important. Thorin had been wondering what could be so important, but he had trusted his old advisor and had gone to meet Dwailn; just that it had not been Dwalin. He watched Loaren as she sat down on the other side of the balcony, watching him with a frown and then turning her gaze away. He knew that his kin would not let either of them in again before they had not talked everything out, but seeing the rejection in Loaren´s eyes, he knew that they would probably die out there.