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Sweet Kisses

(Maureen's POV)

June 10, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time

Mimi left 4 days ago. Collins, Mark, Erika, Joanne, and I waved her off as she took a cab to her mother's house. Roger just sat in the loft, looking out the window. Mark and Mimi had a huge embrace where they apologized for everything that happened. She forgave a weeping Erika, who was still shaken up from the accident and was waiting for her test results. Collins asked her many times if she would stay with him, but she denied each time.

After a good half hour, she was gone. She promised to call when she got there and she also said that she would get together with us when everything was settled. Deep down, we all knew that she probably wouldn't call. It was weird after she left. The loft seemed emptier. We all just sat around. We didn't reminisce or cry or even smile. We just sat there, lost in our own thoughts.

I always thought Angel was the one who kept us together, but now I am starting to think it was Mimi. I have not seen any of the other Bohemians since she left and haven't heard from them either. I had no desire to call, but I wished one of them would acknowledge me. It made me wonder what they would do if I left. Would the act the same way they did when Mimi left? Or would they just ignore the fact I was gone?

I had just walked into the loft after a long day of shopping. Joanne was out of town for 5 days, so the house was empty and cold, because I didn't know how to turn the heat on. Joanne always did that. Our machine was blinking and I quickly hit the button, so happy that they had the courtesy to call.

"One new message," the mechanic woman's voice said.

"Hi Maureen," spoke a deep, familiar voice. I sighed. It wasn't any of my friends. I threw myself on the couch to wait and see who it was. "I just wanted to call and say hi. It is about 5:45 on the 10th and I was hoping that maybe you would meet me at the Life. I know it sounds corny, but I was bored and I wanted some company. If you would like to come down I will be here for about an hour. It would mean a lot. We never see each other anymore."

"Cause I hate you!" I yelled at the machine, realizing who it was. I kicked the table and then sat on the couch in a huff. How could he have the nerve to call me? Then again, a part of me really wanted to see him, where we wouldn't have to hate each other the whole time.

I sighed. Joanne was out of town. I would just go for one drink. He sounded like he was desperate for someone to talk to. It would just be two old friends getting together.

Yes, I was decided. I would go and see the man, who I was supposed to hate. I went into my bedroom and put on a pair of dark colored jeans and a tight red shirt. I then scrunched my hair quickly, applied some makeup, threw on my heels, grabbed my purse, and rushed out the door.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

June 10, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time

Erika and I were standing on the roof. I was waiting for her to open the results. She was shaking horribly and looked as if she was about to cry.

"Whenever you are ready," I said for the hundredth time. She nodded and clutched the envelope tighter.

"Mark," she whispered. "Can we talk before I open it?"

"Of course!" I sat on the edge of the building and motioned for her to sit next to me. She sat down and wiped her eyes.

"I am so scared. I haven't slept in three days. The results have been keeping me awake," she said. "I need to know, though, if you had feelings for Mimi."

"Haven't we been over this?" I asked.

"Yes," she said quickly. "I just need to know." I was afraid she would bring this up again.

"Everyone has someone special for them," I said. "I thought Mimi and I could have a future. I always liked her and I was always jealous of Roger and how every girl loved him. In February, I thought that maybe Mimi felt the same way about me. But have you ever seen the way she looks at him?"

Erika nodded.

"They love each other," I said. "I knew that nothing could break them apart. I can't love her. And after I met you, I realized I didn't want to love her. Erika, I know I am a horrible boyfriend…..er….whatever I am to you, but I care about you so much and it scares me."

"I am sorry for everything," she said. "I came in and ruined this family."

"No you didn't," I said quickly.

There was an awkward silence and she took a deep breath. "Why do I scare you?"

"You don't," I said in a defeated tone. "The thought of a relationship scares the hell out of me. I want to love you, but I don't want to lose you. I am going to be all alone in the end. Mimi, Roger, Collins, and Angel….well….they are…." I couldn't finish my sentence. "And Maureen and Joanne….it is only a matter of time before they leave. It will just be me. I don't see my family anymore and I am not leaving this loft. If I had someone like you to be with, I wouldn't be scared. The tighter I hang on to that hope, the more I think it is going to slip right out of my fingers. I don't want to get too attached and then lose you."

"Mark," she said. "I love you too, but how can I love you if you keep pushing me away?"

"I am sorry," I said.

She looked at the envelope and sighed. "Will you still love me, no matter what the outcome is?"

I hesitated, but I didn't need to think about it. "I loved you before I met you."

She wrinkled her nose. "You are such a dork." She wiped her eyes and ripped the envelope open. She dropped it, with her eyes closed. "I cannot do it! You read it."

I picked it up for her and scanned the page for that one word

"Negative," I whispered.

"Oh my god," she screamed. She fell into my arms and hugged my torso.

"Are you alright?" I asked. She mumbled a yes into my sweater. I helped her down the stairs, leaving the paper on the roof. I brought her into my room and laid her down. She disappeared into her dreams almost instantly. Now she could catch up on her lost sleep. I kissed her forehead and sat on the edge of the mattress. A white envelope suddenly caught my eye. It was lying in the corner, next to a sock. I picked it up and wiped some dust off of it. I carried it into the kitchen and sat on the metal table. My name was scrawled quickly on the front. I ripped it open and immediately recognized Angel's handwriting.

Mark,

You probably know I need to leave. When I was younger, my brother got our family into a huge mess and now it has come back to bite me in the ass. I promise I will be back. While I am gone, I need you to just relax. These last few months have been chaos. I know that you all have been doubting love, but you need to know that Erika is in this for you in the long run. You just have to remember that everyone has someone out there for them. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to find them. Remember, the best thing comes to those who wait!

Angel

o o o o o

(Benny's POV)

June 10, 1991 6:30 p.m. eastern standard time

"One more," I yelled to the bartender, raising my empty beer. He slid another one down to me. I popped open the top with ease and then bent it in half. I threw it into the small pile I had started.

"Well," said a sultry voice behind me. "If it isn't the yuppie scum."

I turned around on my barstool and saw Maureen. She was standing behind me with a tight red shirt on that was an inch above her jeans, showing off a strip of skin. She had her hands on her hips and she was smirking.

"Maureen," I said, standing up. She looked so elegant. I always thought of her as trailer trash from Hicksville. She really grew up. "Would you like to sit down and have a meal?"

"I am not hungry," she said.

"What?" I asked laughing, trying to get her to laugh. "Are you anorexic or something?"

"Bulimic actually," she teased, brushing past me with a scowl on her pale face. She sat on the barstool I was just on and waved the bartender down.

"So what is new?" I asked.

"Eh," she sighed, opening her beer. "Mimi left. She got into a fight with Roger and Mark and Erika. And Angel had to go back to her hometown for a little. Joanne is also on a business trip. I feel like no one even cares about…………….why I am even telling you?"

"Cause I care," I said, pointing out the obvious. She grinned, loving the attention. She began telling me how Mark and Mimi had sex and Roger caught them. Then she spoke about Roger's payback and how Erika pushed Mimi down the stairs, causing her to lose Mark's baby.

"It is all too ridiculous," she grinned. By this point, there were 6 empty beer glasses in front of her. "If only I had married that rich designer back when I was 18."

"He was 32," I pointed out. "And I am pretty sure he was gay."

"But he loved me," she slurred.

"No," I said. "He loved your image. How amazing would he look with a young skinny bride? He would be like the most famous guy ever."

"You're right," Maureen said. "No one ever really loved me."

"Um Joanne?" I asked.

"Eh," Maureen said. "I guess you are right. But to think I had to go lesbian before I found the right one. I mean the designer, Mark, Roger, the bartender, the stripper, Mark….none of them were right."

"That doesn't mean you tried every man," I laughed.

"Oh shut up," she yelled giggling. "Who else would there be?"

"Um me," I said. Oh my god! Did I just say that? She looked up at me through her hair. She took another swig of her beer and leaned back, pushing out her chest and crossing her legs.

"Mr. Benjamin Coffin, I believe you are trying to seduce me," Maureen slurred.

I laughed. A strange thought occurred in my mind. It reminded me of the times we used to catch each other's glances when we lived together. They were awkward and curious moments. I put my hand on hers and grinned. "And what if I was?"

"I would do this," Maureen said. She leaned forward, licking her lips. She pushed her weight on me and gently brushed her lips against mine.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

June 10, 1991 7:00 p.m. eastern standard time

"Has he come out of his room?" Collins whispered.

"No," Mark hissed. "This is just like withdrawal all over again."

"This is my entire fault," Erika whined.

"It is no one's fault," Collins said quickly. "He is just angry and upset. No one is to blame."

There was silence. I was sitting on my bed, listening to their conversation that was taking place outside the door, and pretending to be asleep. They were right about everything. That didn't mean they could relate though. I was mad at myself for letting Mimi go and mad at her for not forgiving me. I forgave her! Why couldn't she forgive me? I could not be mad at her though. She was the most important figure in my life and I feel like I am betraying her by being mad at her.

I couldn't even think about my mixed feelings right now. That was what my whole fucking life was about, mixed feelings! I pulled out my guitar noisily to let everyone know I was awake. I put my socked feet on the dusty floor and padded my way over to my dresser drawer. I pulled out a leather notebook that was folding and faded at the edges from water damage. I opened it to the page that was filled with chicken scratch and 10 cent ideas.

I strummed the familiar chords I had been working on and began to sing. My voice was scratchy and shaking from lack of warming up. I didn't care though.

"I miss you baby," I sang. "You have been gone for a long time." I stopped and thought. "For far too long." I wrote that down quickly and continued. "My dreams are filled with you being home. I will never let you go if you come back."

"The poor boy is hopeless," Collins said to Mark.

I threw my notebook against the door and let my guitar fall gently out of my hands. It landed with a plop on the bed. I buried my head in my hands.

How could she go? I loved her! Why was I such a screw-up? My reason to live was gone. I lost my reason to live. I had no reason to live. I wanted no reason to live.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

June 10, 1991 7:10 p.m. eastern standard time

Collins, Mark, and I ate in silence. We had cold pizza and water. Roger did not come out of his room, but he did play the guitar for a little. It was really beautiful. Mimi didn't know how lucky she was to have a guy who could write songs for her. Well….had a guy.

I went downstairs for a little. I said I had to straighten up my room. I just needed to get away from the deafening silence. When I went inside, there was a white envelope on the counter. Mark gave it to me a while ago and said it was for me. I thought nothing of it though. I opened it out of pure boredom.

Erika,

I know it may seem that everyone is out to get you, but you need to know that Mark has gotten hurt so much in the past. They are afraid you will hurt him too. I really do not know what else to say. I have to go away for a little and I felt the urge to write letters to each of you, because I was afraid that if I left two things would happen. One, I thought that everything would fall apart once I left. Two, I was afraid this would be my only chance to say it. If you truly love him, which I think you do, then that is all that matters.

Angel

Damn! This group has a lot of closure. This is like the 5th time I had to deal with proving my love and thinking everything would be over. Angel's letter didn't affect me that much. It was just a heartfelt letter from a friend. It was sweet, but I felt it was unnecessary. What else could happen at this point? Maybe she is just trying to show that there will never be closure. I have no idea!

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

June 11, 1991 10:30 a.m. eastern standard time

There was a loud bang that forced me to open my eyes. I yawned. I was lying on my stomach, hugging my pillow. Outside the window was a crew of construction workers. I groaned and rolled over, trying to block them out. It didn't work.

I sat up. My back was killing me. I felt sore all over. What the hell was going on? I could barely remember last night…last night…..LAST NIGHT!

I looked to the other side of the bed. It was wrinkled and sunken in with sleep, but empty all the same. Lying on the pillow was an extravagant orange orchid. I picked it up and took a huge sniff. It smelt like aftershave more than anything else. Underneath the flower was a napkin that read shit happens in permanent marker.

That was so like Benny, the yuppie scum. He was such an asshole, but was raised to be a gentleman. I wanted to cry though. How could I do this to Joanne? Maybe she will understand, because I was drunk.

"Or maybe you can get real," said a voice inside my head. I threw the blankets off of me and started pacing around my bedroom. Should I call him? No, I couldn't do that. We were never going to see each other again. That was a definite. But what was I going to do?

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

June 15, 1991 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time

I left the loft on the 6th and arrived at my house on the 8th. I spent one night on the streets, almost afraid to go home. When I got here, my mother greeted me warmly. My father has not said one word to me though. They are not home during the day, but we spend dinners together. She chats quickly in a nervous state. I am finding it hard to eat, because I am so used to eating crappy meals. During the days I have just been walking around and reliving my past.

There was a knock on my door. I put down my pen and looked up.

"Hi Miriam," my mother said. She had her hair, which was just like mine, pulled into a ponytail. "I see you are using your diary I got you."

"I was bored," I said. I sat up. "What are you doing home?" I was getting annoyed with her treating me like a 13 year old.

"Lunch break," she said matter-of-factly. She was a nurse at the local hospital, while my dad was a chef at a Spanish restaurant down the street. "I just wanted to stop in and let you know about the surprise I have for you."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Just be ready in a half hour and look presentable babe," she smiled. She turned to walk away, but stopped. "Miriam, I know things have been a little messy, but I am sure your father will warm up to you soon."

I smiled and waited until she left the room before muttering, "Fake little bitch." I swear to God she acts like cameras are watching her. She knows she could care less about me, but she insists on acting like mother of the year. It is probably because my sister isn't here to be perfect, so she has no one to compare me to, so naturally she cannot comment about what a piece of shit I am like she used to do. Or maybe she has changed. I doubt it, though.

I jumped in the shower, making it a point to sing as loud as I could to annoy the neighbors, whose homes were uncomfortably close to ours. I could reach out the window and touch the neighboring buildings. I hoped out of the shower and threw on a red fluffy skirt and a black sweater. My boots completed the outfit and I pinned my hair up. I had no idea what this was for but I knew it would be stupid.

I went to the living room and waited. I didn't even know what I was waiting for. My mother had gone back to work and my dad wasn't going to be home until later. I wouldn't be surprised if they had hired a hit man. Maybe that is why my mom was so nice to me!

There was a knock on the door.

"5 minutes early," I muttered. I opened to door and gasped.

"Mira," exclaimed a tall man with soft brown hair that hung in his deep hazel eyes. I stood there with a hand to my chest. I couldn't move. I couldn't believe it.

"You remember me?" I uttered.

"My best friend from childhood?" he asked, stepping up to me. "How could I forget you Mira?"

I grinned and threw my arms around him. He picked me up and spun me around.

"Tell me everything Mike," I squealed. "What has been happening?"

"Not now," Mike said. "We have reservations." He took my hand and led me down the steps and to a black car. He opened the door for me and waited till I sat down before gently closing it. The seats were low to the ground on the expensive sports car. I felt like a movie star sitting in there.

"I see you've upgraded," I teased.

"You bet," he grinned. His perfect white teeth sparkled as he put the car in drive and lurched forward. I gripped the seat and watched the buildings fly past us. He pulled the car to a stop a short while later and ran around to grab my door.

"Thank you," I said. He nodded and threw the keys to the valet parker. I gasped. The building was gorgeous with a large water fountain and garden with white lights strung through the trees. He led me inside the restaurant which was covered in a deep red that was accented by an orange glow from the candles.

"Michael," he said to the host. He was cut off before he could say his last name.

"Ah," the man said. "Welcome back and follow me."

We were taken to the very back of the building to a table that was on a platform and secluded from the rest of the diners. Mike pulled my chair out for me and took his own seat.

"This is……….amazing," I said, looking around the restaurant.

"You look amazing," he said. I smiled at him over the candle. I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop grinning. "So," he continued. "Tell me all about what your life consisted of after you left."

"You mean after you gave me AIDS?" I scowled. He looked at the tablecloth. I sighed. "I went and stayed with a friend I met. Her name is Angel. I was in the Lower East Village area. I got a job at the Cat Scratch club. I was doing really well. I dated a few guys. One was a total jerk, but he was rich and really liked me. But it didn't work. I stopped liking him and he was married. I finally met a guy named Roger Davis. He was really great. I moved in with him and his friends for a while once we got together. I became a part of their family and everything was good. I was put in the hospital a few times though, because of this disease you blessed me with."

"Why are you back here then?" he asked, resting his head on his hands. "I mean if everything was so good over there, then why are you back….here?"

"I just had enough," I snapped. It was a touchy subject and I didn't feel like reminiscing about Roger. "So what about you? What happened to your life?"

"You mean after you dumped me and broke my heart?" he snapped back.

"I never dumped you," I said slowly. "I left you."

"I was still hurting," he said. "After you left, I went back to my parents for a little and hung out with my brother. We got into a business together and we are doing pretty well."

"I can tell," I laughed. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"There is a lot you overlooked about me," he said.

"Well," I said for lack of anything to say. "I am sorry." He nodded and a waiter came up to our table. I looked over the menu. I knew I wanted a hot open turkey sandwich, but it was so expensive.

"You can get whatever you want," he said, almost reading my mind. I grinned and ordered my meal. He ordered a steak and we sat in silence until the meal came, which was relatively quickly.

"So," he said after a few moments. "Did you ever think what would have happened if you didn't leave?"

It had never even crossed my mind. "It would have been the same wouldn't it?" I asked after swallowing my turkey.

"No," he said. "We could have been so much more if you just gave it a chance."

"We were together for a year. I felt suffocated. I needed to get out and roam. Besides, we were young and it was just a high school sweetheart kind of deal."

"I think it could've been more," he whispered.

"Drop it Mikey," I hissed. "Besides, you have moved on. We can just stop holding grudges and thinking of what could have been and we can be friends."

"You are right," he smiled.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter, fun memories, delicious food, and one expensive bill, which Mike graciously paid for. We blasted the radio on the way home. And by the time we pulled up to my house it was 6:30.

"We have been out for two hours," he commented after opening my door.

"It is still so early," I laughed.

"I need to get to work," he replied. "I have the late shift, but maybe we can do this again sometime. You know, an early dinner. And if I don't have work for our next outing we could see a movie or go for a walk after."

"That sounds really good Mike," I said. I hugged him goodbye and told him to call me. He agreed and lifted my arm gingerly, placing a sweet kiss on the back of my hand.

Uh-Oh!

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