A/N: Well you guys really didn't like me last week for bringing back You Know Who! And you know what... that's okay. You're not gonna like me after this chapter either... or the next probably. Yes I am mean. Yes I love angst, and yes I am putting our beloved couple through the metaphorical wringer, but there is a reason for it! If you read the description of this story it says "No matter what life throws at you, some things never die." You'll understand eventually ;) things are about to blow up I shit you not! Patience my loves.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except a very twisted imagination.

Ad Astra Per Aspera.

Chapter 21

Carol's breathing finally kickstarted again in a painful gasp, her stomach balled tightly as her brain tried to register what her eyes were seeing. The first thought that landed on her like a house from the chaotic whirl in her mind was why she hadn't locked the door. Shit. She was always so careful, but the day's pull on her concentration had completely wiped the action from her thought process. His dark, flinty eyes gleamed across the room at her, dead and lifeless, like a shark's eyes. She felt sick.

"Well? Ain't ya gonna welcome me home?"

Carol tried to speak, but the words scrambled in her mouth. "I-I… How-"

"Looks like I made bail," Ed smirked through lips that reminded her of liver, sauntering his way to the kitchen table, making her instinctively shift away, an unconscious movement not quite forgotten yet. "Did ya miss me?"

A cold shiver rippled over her body at the question. Truth be known, she'd hardly given him a second thought for days, the brief reminders quickly brushed away by thoughts of Daryl. Now he was here, pulling out a chair to sit at the kitchen table, fixing her with a look she'd never seen before, a look that scared her more than when he flew into raging bull mode. His hurricane force temper was something she'd experienced often enough, and while that scared her, at least she knew how to deal with it. This was like walking into a tunnel with her eyes shut.

Carol's eyes caught the red bleep in the hallway again and she realised too late it must've been from Lori. Rick would have known if Ed were being released and surely warned her. Panic crept up her throat as she figured before too long they would come looking for her, and here she was trapped in her own kitchen. He sat, pinning his eyes on her, unreadable and unyielding. Something was off, a chill settling in to her bones as she forced herself to meet his stare.

"I didn't know they had let you out," Carol replied, trying to swallow back the bile rising up in her throat.

Ed studied her silently, his eyes wandering over her frame sleazily, before arriving again at her eyes. Her cheeks began to burn and she retreated from his gaze, the humiliation creeping over her in an overwhelming tide. She had come so far in the few short weeks out of the darkness of his shadow, and the way he was looking at her now shook the fragile new foundations she'd started to build. Something in his eyes made her feel like he knew she'd grown bolder, stronger, and laughed right in the face of her resilience. Bringing her down was something he excelled at, and he clearly hadn't lost his touch. It somehow seemed worse like this, without the yelling and the punching and the crying. The humiliation was more potent; he knew he could crush the tiniest glimmer of hope beneath his boot with barely any effort, but he was saving it. He would have his fun first.

"Hair's growin' in nice," he smiled, not altogether unkindly but still with the power to make her skin feel alive with a thousand crawling vermin.

Carol hazarded a quick glance back at him, eyes working against her grudgingly. He still hadn't broken eye contact and the longer it went on the heavier she felt. Now along with the shock there was a niggle of irritation burrowing into her muscles, making her fidget.

"What are you doing here?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Ed considered her for a moment, the tiniest thread of anger just visible beneath his candy façade. "Well, this is my house. I pay the mortgage, all the bills. Where else would I be?"

Carol paused, rolling the words over on her tongue before committing to them, avoiding his eyes completely. "You're not allowed to come near us. Rick said-"

"Rick Grimes needs to mind his own damn business," Ed retorted, pulling a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. "Him and that other asshole. Actin' like they own the place, well they don't own me."

Carol blanched at his blasé response. He wasn't a stupid man; far from it, Ed was sharp as a pin. He knew the outcome of breaking the rules would mean he went straight back to prison, but showing such carefree abandon in the face of repercussions meant he either didn't care, or he had a plan. Carol knew which she feared more. Ed hunted in his pockets for a light, his momentary distraction giving her time to sneak around to the doorway. She felt safer with him on the other side of her; at least she'd have a chance if he decided to turn nasty.

"No up-his-own-ass cop tells me where I can and can't go," Ed stated firmly, between plumes of smoke. "This is my house, I call the damn shots."

Carol tensed with irritation. He was always so damn presumptuous and self assured, never questioning himself or his actions. She let his reply sink in, the words settling on her skin like slime, unwelcome and cold. This felt wrong, all of it. She had been here before, standing on the other side of the kitchen while he stared her down, but something inside her now was different. Parts of her that had seemed dead for a long time itched to reignite, and stand up to him. Powerless to stop herself, the words came creeping out.

"No, you don't. Not anymore."

The look he speared back at her could have impaled but she stood her ground. It somehow fuelled what was coming, and she willed it to the surface, the danger of his reaction making her chest bang furiously. The paint was starting to melt from his mask, his true nature peeking through, the Ed she knew all too well never very far away, but still he held his nerve, waiting to play his trump card.

"Oh yeah? And how's that?" Ed sneered, waiting for her to make her move.

"You can't just come back and expect things to go back to how they were Ed," she bit back, eyeing him adamantly. "Things have changed."

And it was then she saw it. A tiny flicker in his eyes, but it hit her like a bolt of lightning. He knew. Of course he knew. He saw everything, one way or another. She should've known that somehow it would have gotten back to him what was unravelling in his absence.

"Yeah, so I been hearin'," he glared, the half smile on his face curling into a snarl.

She searched his face for confirmation but she knew him too well to assume he would give it up easily. He enjoyed playing with her, watching her squirm; like a cat taunting a mouse before taking a swipe at it, and she knew he was going to relish every second of her torment.

"I-I don't…" she stuttered, trying to find the strength in her voice again as it tried to creep away. "What do you mean?"

Ed put another cigarette to his lips and lit it, taking his time, drawing out her discomfort before studying her pensively, savouring every moment. He dragged deeply on his smoke, blowing it out of his nose in precise, steady streams. Carol refused the urge to breathe deeply to calm her banging heart; she'd almost forgotten how much she hated the smell of smoke in the house. She wanted to scream at him to answer her, but she knew that was exactly what he wanted, and she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She had to stand firm. The anger was bubbling low in her belly, threatening to come undone if he kept up this cruelty.

"While the cat's away the mouse will play, huh?" He drawled, staring into space, his eyes glazed and distant. His tone had grown detached and ominous, and creeped her out in a way it never had before. He sounded crazy.

She eyed him warily, frozen to the spot, her fleeting courage waning back into the shadows and the familiar knot of fear tying itself around her stomach once again. She had been foolish to think she could be strong, daring to challenge him. She was weak, and he knew how to play her until she would break. Eventually she had to tear her eyes away from his unsettling trance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

As quickly as turning on a light switch, Ed was back in the room. "Oh I think you do."

He stood and sauntered slowly across the room, his eyes pensive and focused on the floor, working out his next move, and she could feel herself backing away unconsciously. The glittering shards from the glass she had dropped on the floor crunched under his boot as he turned to face her.

"Been havin' a little fun while I been gone?"

She knew it wasn't a question. Her gut fought the urge to heave as she tried to think how she was going to dig herself out of this hole.

"What? Ain't got nothin' to say?" Ed ducked his head, trying to catch her eyes like a child being told off for bad behaviour.

"There's nothing to tell," Carol insisted, avoiding his stare.

"Uh uh… now we know what happens to liars, don't we?"

She tried to hold it together, the telltale tightening of her throat and needles prickling her eyes making it very difficult. She couldn't let him see her upset, couldn't give him the thrill of knowing he'd won again. No words she could think of sufficed to beat him down, so she kept quiet, knowing he wasn't done yet. Her bottom lip quivered slightly as she clamped her mouth shut, trying to hold it in. He already knew, he just wanted her to surrender and revel in punishing her.

"Well since we already know you're a lying whore, I'll do the talking. I been gone, what, not even 3 weeks? And you've been screwin' that dirty redneck fuck in my bed. Didn't take ya long, did it?"

The accusation caught her off guard, but the blood that rushed to her cheeks proclaimed her guilty. Of course it wasn't true, but the thoughts that now filled her head at night must have been scrawled all over her face, and she knew he could read her like the pages of a diary.

"I don't-"

"Don't dig yourself any deeper," Ed interrupted. "You're blushin' like a fuckin' schoolgirl. Did ya think I wouldn't find out?"

"I haven't done anything wrong," she replied, her voice starting to break as he moved towards her slowly.

"Ya had that dumb hillbilly fuck in my house, I'd say that's wrong."

Carol wanted to claw his eyes out for talking about Daryl like that, but Ed had her in his palm ready to squash her like a bug. If she defended Daryl she would be in even deeper water.

"Don't come any closer," she squeaked, backing out into the hallway and turning to reach for the phone.

He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her, pinning her back against the wall with such velocity it forced a frightened yelp from her. There was no trace of amusement left in his eyes now. Cold, black, lifeless. Just how she remembered them. Glaring down at her, crushing the air from her lungs, his breath now prickling her body in terror.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Carol swallowed hard against the lump of panic in her throat as Ed took the receiver from her hand and put it back, his huge clammy hand constricting her wrist painfully, never taking his eyes off her. She became aware she was breathing hard and for one awful moment the look in his eyes made her fear he would kiss her. As if he had read her mind, he leaned in until his nose was almost touching hers, his sour breath forcing her to suppress a gag as she tried to turn her face away.

"Would do ya some good to remember who's in charge around here. I expected the last lesson I taught ya to still be fresh in your mind. Maybe we need to revisit a few things…"

The shrill ringing of the phone next to her made Carol jump. Ed didn't react at all, just kept her pinned to the wall with his Arctic glare, and she wondered how the hell she was going to get out of this, if she ever did. Ed turned his head in response before looking back at her. "Ain't ya gonna answer it?"

Carol avoided his wide eyed stare, the screeching ring of the telephone almost piercing her eardrums.

"Pick it up."

She eventually forced herself to look at him and was relieved when he backed off slightly to let her pick the receiver up. She took a deep breath before holding it to her ear and speaking.

"Hello?"

"Oh Carol, thank god I got you!" Lori breathed down the line, sounding agitated.

"Is everything alright?" Carol gripped the receiver anxiously. "You sound terrible."

"It's my dad… he's taken ill. They think it was a heart attack. Rick and Carl and I are flying out tonight. I left you a message but I guess you didn't get it. I just wanted to let you know we'll be out of town for a few days probably, so I'm gonna give you a note of the number you can reach us at. You got a pen?"

Carol rummaged in the desk drawer for a pen and paper and scribbled the number on a scrap she found. She realised a second too late she was breathing heavily, her heart still hammering on her ribcage, her wrist still throbbing.

"Are you alright?" Lori's voice echoed from the other end. "You sound out of breath."

"Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm just a little worn out."

"If you need me for anything call me, okay?" Carol didn't miss the concern in Lori's voice. "Shane said he would check in on you too."

"I'm fine, just concentrate on your family. Give Carl a hug from me will you?"

"I will, thanks." The ping of a tannoy followed by an announcement filtered through. "Right I gotta go they're calling our flight now. I'll see you in a few days. Night honey."

"Alright, have a safe trip, goodnight."

Lori didn't know. The realisation hit her full force as she heard the final click of the phone on the other side of the line, cutting her off from warmth and safety, dumping her back in her cold hallway, alone with him. The silence was deafening as she waited for him to speak; it might as well have weighed a ton, it was suffocating her.

She lifted her eyelids just enough that he was in her field of vision, avoiding being drawn into the grip of his horrid glaring eyes. Her voice seemed a million miles away, her throat dry and rough, so much so she feared it would fail her if she tried to speak. The words were brittle, breaking before they had even left her mouth.

"Lori's father is sick, she and Rick are flying out tonight to see him."

When she could finally bring herself to look at him properly, the glee lurking in the black depths of his soulless stare made her shudder. She knew what he was thinking. With Rick and Lori out of the picture, she was trapped; he could do whatever he wanted and there would be no one to save her. And… oh god, Daryl. There would be no way she could contact him, and if he came around… Looking into the murky pits fixed on her, Carol could feel that he knew all these things. He knew he had her exactly where he wanted her, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do. Nowhere to run… nowhere to hide.

Finally, he spoke. "Well, looks like it's just us now. All alone."

She backed into the wall where he'd had her pinned a few moments ago, his words shoving her back to where he could control her. He closed in on her again, his thick arms penning her in as he towered over her. Her body shrunk unconsciously, like it had done so many times before, and the tears pushed painfully at her eyes. All of a sudden the memory of that day on the bathroom floor was brutally vivid and the same panic started to claw at her throat. He had been crazed, but the look in his eyes now scared her even more. There was nothing human there, only a shadow with moving lips. She tried not to flinch when he brought one of his hands up to her face, stroking her cheek and making her want to shrivel up. He leaned in, his hot, stale breath sending waves of discomfort rippling across her skin as he whispered in her ear.

"You're mine, just remember that. I catch that prick sniffin' round my house again… I'mma kill him. I'll strangle the prick with my bare hands while you watch."

Carol fought the retch that was building in her chest, the bile surging rapidly up her throat making her mouth water. An unwelcome thumb traced her bottom lip as she braced herself against the tears she knew would fall eventually. She was shaking.

"Don't fuck with me," he whispered against her mouth, his rubbery lips mere millimetres away from her own, his hand now clamped under her chin.

Satisfied with his work, Ed released her face roughly, backing away with his leering shark's eyes still locked on her. He gave her a derogatory last look up and down, and with a smirk, took himself upstairs to bed. The second she heard the click of the bedroom door, she slid down the wall and clamped her eyes shut against the flood, pulling her knees to her face and burying her head. She couldn't let him hear her crying, not again. The hot bullets forced their way out of her eyes regardless, but she had to stay in control. The last time, she'd been so close to ending it all. She couldn't go there again.

Carol dried her eyes and hauled herself up off the floor. She pushed the living room door and sank onto the couch. There was no way she would go to bed tonight. The lazy lull of sleep that had been creeping up on her in Daryl's truck little over an hour ago was gone. She was on alert now, her mind whirring in hurricane mode again, questions screeching white noise at her and yielding no answers. What was she going to tell Sophia? She had been so scared that day they had dragged Ed out of the house in a blaze of rage. She'd only just started to come back to her, and it was largely down to her blossoming friendship with Daryl. Now Ed was back, and her baby was sound asleep upstairs none the wiser. She imagined Sophia's frightened expression the next morning and her heart sank.

Then there was Daryl. She couldn't ignore what her heart was screaming at her anymore; she could feel him in there, taking up a space that only he could, against everything she had drilled into her brain to stop herself getting hurt again. Just as effortlessly as they had begun to fit together again, Ed had come in like a bulldozer and destroyed everything. He always won in the end, and it was so unfair. Fresh pinpricks stabbed at her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She swallowed the lump in her throat and for a moment, held her breath. When she let go it all came pouring out. Droplets soaked into the cushion hugged tightly to her chest as it all came crashing down around her.

By the time she had cried herself dry of tears, it was light outside.