He Chose Titans

by masksarehot

Erwin swore he would never again be distracted from his fight against the titans, but when an unexpected bond begins to form with Levi, he must decide whether he will follow his heart or his head. [Erwin x Levi, romance/drama/angst, semi-canon prequel/retelling.]

21. Smoke

A/N: Thank you so much for your continued support, comments, recs and kudos! It means so much to me.

Previous chapter: Levi & Hange's scouting mission is interrupted by miserable weather, so they're forced to return to Trost several days late with their mission half-complete. Levi and Erwin retire to Erwin's apartment, where Levi showers and then they make love, sharing a deep connection between them.

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-21-

Smoke

"Advance!" yelled Erwin.

With a roar, the Survey Corps rushed through the open gate.

Blood surged through Erwin's arteries, his skin tingling, electrified by the energy of two hundred troops moving together under his command. After so many years of working and planning, this was his chance to prove himself - to Sahlo, to the townsfolk, to the Corps, to himself. The late nights, the stress, the political manoeuvring would all be worth it when they returned with enough supplies to carve a path to Wall Maria and enough funds to bolster their research branch.

Even though Berit's team had worked hard to clear the titans from the city on the other side of the wall, more titans approached, curious about the ruckus. Erwin kept his gaze fixed straight ahead, trusting the support teams to do their job. An anguished cry sounded behind him, and he was certain that had been their first casualty, but he didn't look back. If he mourned every death along the way, he wouldn't stay focused on their objective. He could mourn once the mission was complete.

Still, he glanced at Levi to make sure the man was still riding at his side. As requested, Levi had been given complete autonomy over his role in the mission. His squad, overall, was subject to the same plans as everyone else, but Levi had assembled a strike team of five soldiers who would travel with him through the formation as needed. Eld, Sonja, Gunther, Nadya and Anton. They rode behind the Squad Leader in a V-formation.

Levi glanced at Erwin. "Think the support teams need backup?"

"Your call. I'd wait for a signal flare."

As if on cue, a red flare went up near the back of the formation.

"Let's go," said Levi to his team, and the five of them pulled away from the group. Erwin kept his gaze forward and fired a green flare, letting the group know to continue the advance.

As they pulled away from the city, the ground before them opened up into green meadow. Erwin thrust out his right hand. "Deploy Long-Distance Enemy Scouting Formation!"

A bark of understanding sounded behind him. The hoof beats began to fan out. Erwin fell back to ride behind Berit's team. Half her squad rode in the vanguard, the other half in the rear, protecting the carts. Mike and Levi's squads formed the right and left flanks, and Hange's teams were scattered throughout the formation to support and observe.

Erwin kept their pace to a slow trot. While the ground here had mostly dried out since the rainstorms, there was no telling if that was the case further south. The ride was uneventful save for a persistent group of titans hounding them to the east. Erwin had to redirect the formation several times. He wondered how many lives they were losing. That was Mike's area, so with any luck, he had smelled the titans before anyone had been forced to engage.

A rider approached from Hange's group: Nifa. "Sir," she called. "We're approaching the designated rest spot. Mike smells titans ahead, clustered. It's likely that the choke point we struggled with during the scouting mission is heavily populated again."

"Thank you, Nifa," said Erwin. "Any losses?"

"Not from our group, sir. Mike's nose has been most helpful."

Erwin let out a breath. He fired a white flare into the sky to pull in the formation.

While they stopped in the clearing for a break, Mike and Nanaba scouted ahead, gathering information about the titan population in the choke point. Erwin spoke briefly with a couple team leaders, then took a break himself, pulling a small bag of food out of his saddle bag.

"Hey Erwin."

He turned to see Levi approaching him, a ration bar in one hand, a water canister in another.

"Levi." He nodded. "Something to report?"

They fell into step beside each other, pacing idly away from the group.

"We followed the red flares," said Levi. "Helped Berit's team at first, then travelled across to support Mike."

"Good." Erwin stopped, staring at the hill that stood between them and the titans. "Mike smells a group in the meadow ahead, much like what you and Hange encountered during your scouting mission. We need to take them out, or at least thin their numbers; this choke point is going to be critical in other scouting missions and expeditions. How many titans can your strike team take on?"

"If they're clustered, I can take four easily, five in a crunch. The others, maybe three or four." Levi's eyes narrowed, gaze distant, as if he were planning. "Send Mike in with another strike team. We could pincer them."

"Setting up a pincer will take too long; your primary objective is to keep the titans off the rest of the group. Even if you can't drop them all, herd them away from the group and keep them cornered."

"Okay." Levi took a swig of water, then wiped his mouth. "We'll look at the layout Mike gives us and figure out our approach." He bit into a bar of rations, then grimaced and washed it down with more water. "Little pucks of dried shit."

"Here." Erwin pulled a couple pieces of wrapped taffy out of his jacket pocket, pressing them secretively into the man's hand.

Levi stared at them. "You brought these for me?"

"I figured you'd be sick of rations by now." Erwin gave him a formal nod. "Call me over when you and Mike are finalizing your plans. I'll start relaying formation instruction to the rest of the group." He turned away, looking for Berit and Hange.

.*.*.*.

Thirty minutes later, Levi stood by his horse with Mike and thirteen other soldiers: his strike team, Mike's five best soldiers, and three of Berit's strongest defenders.

Levi stuffed the last piece of taffy in his mouth, chewed, then swallowed and turned to face Mike. "Okay, now I'm ready."

The man sniffed. "Taffy?" He raised a brow. "Special ration privileges?"

"Shut up." Levi mounted, then circled his horse to face the other soldiers. "Everyone ready?"

"Sir," rang out in chorus.

He turned to look at Erwin, who sat atop his horse near the front of the formation, ready to charge through the meadow two minutes after the strike team had deployed. The Commander's gaze was dispassionate and steady, but Levi was beginning to understand Erwin: the colder he looked, the more emotion he was repressing. Lifting a hand, Levi waved, letting him know they were ready. The return wave was stiff.

"Guess we're good," he said, turning back to Mike. The man nodded. Levi was starting to understand him better, too; instead of becoming cold, Mike became quiet.

"Okay." Levi shifted his grip on the reins, his palms sweaty. "Let's go."

They filed through the trees and onto the meadow, then moved into formation. Most of the titans were once again clustered on the eastern side of the meadow. Levi recognized several of the same titans he had seen during the scouting mission. Guess they'll hang around if we don't kill them.As they approached the group, a few of the beasts looked up, their faces twisted and grotesque. Levi's eyes narrowed.

"Ready 3DMG and wait for my command."

Around him, he heard blades clicking in place. He clicked his into place, too, and climbed onto the saddle, crouching low on the horse's back. A bit closer...a bit closer...

"Now." He fired a grapple into the back of the nearest titan and reeled himself in, cutting a chunk out of its flesh. Using his momentum to pull into a spin, he took out two titans beside it, zigzagging between them. Around him, he could hear the movements of his teammates, the thudding steps of the titans, and the whistle of grapple points slicing through the air.

Then a scream.

He turned to see Nanaba caught in a titan's grasp, eyes wide with panic. He aimed his gear, intending to slice off its fingers to free her. Mike got there first, slicing the tendons in its wrist. Its hand opened.

Not wasting time making sure she was safe - Mike had her now - Levi turned back to his task. He anchored on another titan's back and went for its nape. Four. Red was clouding his vision, but he blinked it back. He had to stay present, had to keep his teammate's positions and safety in mind. Five. Adrenaline fuelled him; he was getting stronger, not weaker. He growled and dove for a sixth.

"Sir!" called Eld's voice to his right. He turned. Sonja was clinging to the hair of a six metre as it tried to shake her off; her leg, severed at the knee, trailed blood down its face. Eld and Gunther were frantically trying to land a grapple on it, but it was thrashing too much.

"Fuck," muttered Levi, redirecting from his sixth target. He blasted the gas to propel himself high into the air, instantaneously assessing the situation. Sonja was swinging in front of the titan's eyes as it thrashed, so he couldn't throw blades to blind it without risking that she might be impaled. That would be the easiest way to neutralize it.

"Sonja, let go," he yelled. "Eld, Gunther: catch her." He began to dive toward the titan's eyes.

Sonja released the hair and began to fall. Below her, Eld and Gunther prepared to intercept.

The titan stopped thrashing and dove forward, mouth opening wide.

There was a scream cut short by a loud, wet crunch, then Sonja's severed arm was flying through the air.

Levi roared and gauged out the titan's eyes. It staggered backwards; he leapt away and sank a grapple into its shoulder, then swung around. His blades cut deep into its nape.

It fell to the ground, its mouth lolling open. Sonja's remains rolled out, covered with a slick layer of slime. Her eyes were wide and blank.

Not again!The redness was closing in on Levi's vision now, and he wrestled it back. No, he couldn't give into his rage. He had to get everyone out alive.

"Gunther!" yelled Eld.

Levi's eyes snapped to the sound. Gunther stood on the ground staring at Sonya's remains, his skin pale.

"You idiot, move!" Levi propelled himself forward to take out a titan closing in on the shocked soldier. Eld downed another beside him by cutting out its ankles; Levi swooped in to finish it off.

One last titan toppled in his periphery, and then it was over.

The survivors stared at one another, drenched in steaming blood, as the remains around them began to dissolve.

Mike walked up to Levi, wiping blood off his cheek. He shook his head, grimacing.

"Who?" asked Levi.

"Jan."

"Shit," said Levi. "Sonja."

"Shit."

They stared at the steaming remains for a moment longer, silent. On the far side of the meadow, the last of the Survey Corps formation passed through.

Levi strode forward and grabbed Sonja's remains by the wrist, dragging them toward the horse. Wordlessly, Mike did the same for Jan.

"Everyone saddle up," said Levi. "We got this group, but no telling how many more are out there." He slung Sonja's body over her horse, tying it in place by her harnesses. "Eld, lead her horse."

"Sir." The man's face was pale, but his jaw was tight. Determined. He had already come so far since their last outing.

They rode toward the rest of the group, pushing hard to reclaim their positions.

"Stay back by the carts for now," said Levi to his strike team. He rode ahead to catch up with Erwin.

The Commander's eyes stayed fixed on the horizon. "Impressive work. We got everyone through safely, and that particular cluster won't be bothering us again."

"Sonja and Jan are dead," said Levi.

Erwin finally looked at him. "I see." It was his cold, professional gaze, and Levi longed for a spark of sympathy, just a spark - anything to let him know he wasn't alone.

"I gave the order that got Sonja killed," said Levi, feeling his composure begin to crack.

The Commander studied him for a moment longer, then looked forward again. "Is your focus compromised?"

"Of course not."

"Then we'll discuss it later. Dismissed, Squad Leader."

"Sir," said Levi, because if the man was going to be distant and formal, then he'd get it right back.

He dropped back to ride with his squad, his stomach churning.

.*.*.*.

Erwin felt a wave of relief as they closed in on the checkpoint. His composure was at its limits. The ride past the meadow had been harrowing, with constant redirections that had added an hour to their journey. Still, the formation had done its job; despite the many sightings, they hadn't clashed with any other titans.

The checkpoint was as decrepit as Hange and Levi had said, but the wall around it was solid. As the troops cared for the horses and began to patrol the area, Erwin brought his officers to an old room with a large table and a few chairs. The first task was to update their roster. He began to flip through the roster, marking off names. Four casualties: two from Berit's squad, one from Mike's, one from Levi's. The three of them looked grim, their eyes downcast.

"Considering how much strife we faced today, these losses are far fewer than I anticipated," said Erwin. "All four of you did well out there. Mike and Levi, I know I originally said I wanted you to begin your daily scouting operations today, but I think it's more valuable for you to rest. The information from last week's scouting mission should be sufficient for the first two silos. The scouting operations will become more important later, anyway, when we approach the silos we didn't scout in advance."

As his gaze drifted between them, he saw Levi's face twisting. He's upset about Sonja.His heart ached for the man. He knew how sensitive Levi was about death.

Now wasn't the time to console him, however. He rolled out the map and began to walk them through instructions for the next day.

Once the orders were clear, the officers gathered the troops in the large common room downstairs. Erwin began to brief everyone on the next day's objectives while they ate, then handed the floor to Berit, who assigned watch duties and patrols.

As she finished speaking, he wove his way over to Levi, who was leaning against the back corner of the room, staring absently at the floor.

Erwin leaned against the wall beside him. "You aren't eating?"

Levi shrugged, not looking up. "In a bit."

"Would you care to accompany me for a walk? I want to discuss a few things with you."

"I can't do this right now."

Erwin stood tall, clasping his hands behind his back. "Do 'this'?"

"Hear a bullshit speech about how it was for the greater good, and everyone here is prepared to offer their beating hearts for humanity." Levi's mouth twisted. "Not yet."

Taken aback, Erwin tried to study him, but the man refused to lift his head.

"Very well," he said finally. "When you want to talk, come find me." He reached out to squeeze the man's shoulder. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

The only response he got was a shrug.

Stomach sinking, Erwin left him alone. He brought his rations to the makeshift office, settling onto a stone bench. Afternoon bled into evening as he logged the day's events and expenses, then adjusted the formation to fill the gaps left behind by the deceased. Once all that was done, he pored over the next day's mission, memorizing every detail. The more information he held in his mind, the less time he'd waste consulting notes and maps. Every second counted on the field.

An hour after nightfall, a knock sounded on the door. He lifted his head and saw Levi standing in the doorframe.

"Come in."

Levi stepped into the room and closed the door. He was still staring at the floor, dark circles under his eyes.

"You should be resting," said Erwin.

The man shrugged. "Can't sleep."

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

Another shrug. "Okay."

They fell into step as they left the base, pacing along the perimeter of the wall. The sky was clear, the stars bright. It reminded Erwin of the night they had sat on the rooftop together, before the last expedition.

Levi folded his arms over his chest. "She followed my orders and died, right in front of me."

"Here." Erwin pointed to a wooden bench, damp, mossy and rotting. Levi's nose wrinkled, his disgust apparently overwhelming his grief.

"I'm not sitting on that."

Erwin unbuttoned his cloak and slung it across the bench. "Better?"

"You're getting it dirty for nothing," said Levi, but he sat.

Erwin sat next to him, close enough to feel the man's body heat. Feeling relaxed for the first time since they had left the gates, he leaned forward, elbows on his thighs, hands hanging loosely between them. "Autonomy is a double-edged sword, Levi. It leaves us free to make mistakes. You have to keep in mind that you made the best decision you could with the knowledge you had at the time."

"I know." Levi leaned forward, too, mirroring his posture. "I've tried to live my life by that code: we never know how things are going to turn out, so we have to make the best decisions we can and look back on them without regrets." His head bowed. "But I've never been good with death."

If they were in private, Erwin would have drawn him in for a hug, but there were other soldiers on patrol. "It gets easier."

Levi looked up at him, his eyes wide. "Easier? If someone dies because of me, I don't want my grief to get easier."

"I meant that it gets easier to keep pushing forward, to ignore it and stay focused on how their sacrifices will aid humanity as a whole."

"I know what you meant, but if someone around me dies, I should feel it. I deserve to feel it. Besides, pushing everything down just sounds like a recipe to have it build up and explode out at the wrong time."

Erwin fell silent.

After a few minutes, Levi stood. "I'm going to bed."

"You're a good man, Levi."

"What?"

Erwin looked up at him and let his mask drop, let all his insecurity and vulnerability show on his face. "I don't know how you keep moving forward while you're feeling so much. I can only keep going if I shut down my emotions entirely, bury them in goals." He swallowed hard. "I'm not very emotionally accessible out here. I'm sorry."

Levi's face softened. "I know you feel deaths more than you pretend. Do what you need to do, okay?" He glanced around them, then reached out and ran his hand along Erwin's jaw. Erwin caught it and turned his face into it to kiss his palm. The skin smelled like leather.

Their hands trailed as they stepped apart.

He watched Levi walk away, and his heart pounded in his throat. He thought of Anke, of the four he had lost that day, of Henrik, of his father. After so many years focusing on repressing his emotions, he had mastered the skill. He was so disconnected now, so into his expedition state of mind, that he felt nothing. He stared up at the stars, feeling a deep connection to the empty spaces between them.

Eventually, he began to shiver so hard that his teeth were chattering. He stood and shook out his cloak.

The troops were lined up in the sleeping area, bedrolls pressed tightly together for warmth. Levi was already asleep, curled up against Hange's back. Mike was on his other side, but he moved over to make room when Erwin approached.

"Thanks." Erwin wedged his bedroll between them and wormed into place, pulling the thin blanket over his body. It was too short; his feet poked out at the end. He rolled onto his side and shifted closer to Levi.

The man stirred and edged back against him. He was so warm that Erwin slipped an arm under Levi's blanket, pulling him in close.

"Mm," murmured Levi.

"Still awake?" whispered Erwin, but the only reply was soft snoring. He tightened his arm around the man. The world began to shrink until it was just him, and Levi, and the warm promise of sleep.

.*.*.*.

They arose at dawn the next morning. Erwin addressed the Squad and Team Leaders over breakfast, ensuring they were up to date on the day's mission information. He called out the likely titan movements as recorded by Levi and Hange, as well as past data on the area.

Levi seemed to be back to his usual self, if maybe a bit quieter than usual. Then again, things had changed so much since their last expedition that Erwin was no longer sure what was normal for the man when he was on the field. Everyone wore a mask out here, and everyone's demeanour changed.

He pulled Levi aside as everyone was saddling up the horses. "How are you doing today, Levi?"

The man shrugged. "Fine."

Erwin held his gaze for a moment longer, hating the way their interactions had changed since they had left the wall. Their barriers might be necessary, but so was the bond between them. We can use it to our advantage; we should be helping and supporting each other out here.A little hand hold and innocent night-time cuddling weren't enough.

He leaned closer. "Come find me tonight. I need to speak with you privately."

Levi's face softened. "Okay."

Erwin squeezed the man's muscular shoulder, then turned away.

They set out a short while later. The titans were more active in this area than they had been on the first leg of the trip. The front lines saw no strife, but red and black flares frequently went up from the flanks, no matter which way he redirected. When several went up in a row, he knew the flanks must be engaging. Runners brought him details after each encounter. By the time they were approaching the silo, there had been two casualties.

This silo was located on the fringes of an abandoned town. Berit's squad was to dismount here and travel through the town by 3DMG, ensuring there were no titans hiding among the buildings. Wherever humans had been clustered, titans often remained, as if driven by some distant memory that the spot had, once upon a time, been a source of food.

The remaining squads formed a perimeter around the silo. Given the proximity to town, Erwin expected this silo to be empty, raided by fleeing citizens. He was pleasantly surprised to see that the military locks had held fast. Once the area was secure, he waved Levi over. The man expertly opened the lock, then stood beside him as the teams began to recover the supplies.

"If I see anyone carrying live round boxes stacked on top of each other," said Levi, "I am going to kick them in the face."

"Might want to wait until after they've set the rounds down," said Erwin.

"Ah, so you did bring your sense of humour with you. I thought you'd left it at home."

"I try to keep it buried, but it has a way of surfacing when you're around."

Levi shook his head. "You know people died back there, right?"

"I do." The smirk faded from his lips. "I am grateful for their sacrifice."

"There was an abnormal. Took out two people before my team dropped it." Levi folded his arms over his chest, watching the steady stream of goods leaving the silo. "Eld and Gunther took it down together. They're really getting their shit together."

"I'm sure your competence inspires them," said Erwin.

Levi glanced up at him. "Maybe."

They continued to supervise the recovery. Every minute or two, Erwin would look up at Mike, who was standing watch atop the tower. The man shook his head each time, confirming that there were no titans in the area.

"I hope they're all this easy," muttered Levi.

"That would certainly be nice."

As the stream of soldiers ended, Hange and Nifa approached, paper in hand.

"Sir," said Nifa. "There were six extra coin boxes and two additional gas canisters."

"Thank you, Nifa. Good work." He turned to Hange. "Make sure the goods are secured. Levi, tell Berit to gather everyone keeping watch in the village. We'll head out for the second silo in fifteen minutes."

As he returned to his horse, he tried not to be overly confident. They were ahead of schedule now, but who knew what would happen by the time they reached the second silo?

At least they had found more coin than expected. Lining the pockets of both the King and Sahlo would increase their trust in him. He hoped the other silos would be this bountiful.

The trip to the second silo was hampered by mud, but it was almost completely uneventful. This door was rusted shut, and they ended up damaging two gas canisters when they knocked it down. Still, the rest of the goods were in decent shape, and as they headed back to the base, Erwin was optimistic. This was a strong start to the expedition.

Once they returned, Mike and Levi's strike teams took a short break, then headed out to scout the next day's silos. They returned a few hours later with updated information. Erwin adjusted the plans, then met with the officers, who then relayed the information to their teams.

As it began to get dark outside, Levi entered Erwin's office, letting out a loud yawn. "You wanted to see me?"

"Close the door," said Erwin, standing.

"It doesn't lock." The door shut. "Not that that ever stopped us before."

Erwin circled the table and strode across the room.

Levi looked up as he approached, mouth flat. "Don't try anything. I'm dirty as hell."

"I just want to hug you." Erwin pulled him in close, pressing a kiss into the top of the dark hair. It was already greasy and strong with Levi's natural scent. A low rumble sounded in his throat before he could stop himself.

"Hey." Levi pushed back, eyes narrowing up at him. "Don't get carried away."

"Not at all?" asked Erwin, surprised. "We're going to be celibate for the entire expedition?"

"Do you know how disgusting and dirty our assholes are getting out here? We're going to get dick infections if we try anything."

"Dick infections," repeated Erwin, amused by his delicate word choice. "There are other options besides sex, you realize."

"Didn't you smell how disgusting I was when I showered after the scouting mission? I don't care what's involved: I'm going to stink." Levi shrugged. "We'll just take care of things ourselves and fuck like rabbits when we get back home."

"I was hoping for something a bit more intimate."

Levi flopped into a chair and leaned back, tipping it back on two legs. "What did you and Henrik used to do?"

"What?" asked Erwin, surprised.

"On long expeditions. Could help us figure out how to handle this."

It had been many years since he had even considered it, and it took him a few seconds to recall. Ah yes, there it was: frantic groping in alcoves while Mike stood guard. "We decided to risk the dick infections."

Levi's nose wrinkled. "Disgusting."

"How about this?" Erwin paced around the chair to Levi's back and pressed both hands onto his shoulders, bending down to murmur into his ear. "You kneel on the floor and touch yourself. I'll sit behind you and bury my face in your hair. That way, I'll be too busy enjoying the sun-baked, wind-swept scent of your hair to smell anything you might be self-conscious about." He breathed in, relishing the scent.

The shoulders stiffened beneath his hands. "What about you?"

"I could rut against your ass."

"Sounds like a good way to get rug burn."

"I'll be careful." Remembering the unlocked door, Erwin pulled away. "We'll need a private place - know of one that would work?"

Levi stood. "There's a room down the hall that has a lock. Follow me."

The slipped into the hallway, then sneaked down to a room at the end. Levi locked the door. Erwin pressed him against it, then tried to find his mouth in the dark. His lips landed several centimetres too high; before he could correct himself, Levi's hand pressed to his chest to stop him.

"I haven't brushed my teeth since we left."

Erwin felt a wave of frustration. "Levi, I really don't mind."

"Well, I do, so knock it off."

Swallowing back his frustration, Erwin sat, pulling Levi down into his lap. He buried his face in the slim neck, his hips rocking.

"Shit," breathed Levi. His arms snaked around Erwin's shoulders. "I didn't realize how horny I was."

Erwin was too busy kissing the salty skin of his neck to reply. He felt a moan building in his throat, but didn't let it sound. As isolated as this dark room might seem, there was an entire regiment of soldiers downstairs who could wander upstairs at any moment.

"Here," whispered Levi, pushing away. There was a shuffling noise in the darkness, then he added, "Sit behind me."

Erwin slid into place behind him, his thighs on either side of the small body. He slipped a hand beneath Levi's jacket and grabbed his chest, feeling the muscle through the dress shirt. The harness was in the way, and he was tempted to unbuckle it, but that was a slippery slope.

"Touch yourself," he whispered.

He heard a zipper, then Levi's body began to jerk with quick, rhythmic motion. The room was so quiet that Erwin could hear soft puffs breath, the sound of moving skin.

Erwin began to grind against Levi's ass. He buried his face in the dark hair and gripped the man's chest. A glow began to build in his abdomen.

It quickly became apparent that chafing was, indeed, going to be a problem. He kissed the back of Levi's head and then leaned back, pulling himself out of his pants. As he began to touch himself, his breath escaped in a long shudder.

Levi grunted, squirming back against him. "I'm already close."

"Good. Don't hold back."

"Fuck. Feels good when you grab my chest like that."

Erwin groped the man's chest with one hand, the other moving faster. "Like that?'

"Yeah. Fuck." Levi's body was tightening. "Shit, just a sec. Where's my handkerchief?" The sounds and body movements suggested he was rummaging through his clothes. "Okay, found it."

Erwin's teeth clenched as he felt himself getting close. "Can I use it when you're done?"

"I guess. You're in charge of washing it, then. I'm not carrying around our dirty cum rag."

"Keep saying romantic things like that, and I might go off right now."

"Fucking hilarious." Levi began to hunch forward, his chest rock-hard. "Oh, shit. I'm close. I'm close..."

Erwin tried to reply, but he grunted instead. He buried his mouth in Levi's hair, trying to muffle himself.

"Shit. I'm going to-" Levi doubled over, his body tensing. A few seconds later, he relaxed. His chest muscles twitched sporadically against Erwin's palm. "Fuck," he breathed.

"I wish I could have seen your face," whispered Erwin, closing his eyes. "Where's the handkerchief?"

"Here."

A folded cloth slid against the hand gripping Levi's chest. Erwin grabbed the cloth and pulled away, biting his lip as he emptied into it.

"Shit," he gasped when he finally remembered to breathe.

"Kind of anticlimactic, huh?" Levi leaned back against him.

Erwin took a long breath, then set the rag aside and awkwardly fastened his pants. "A bit impersonal. At least it's not as lonely as masturbating alone. When we get back to Trost, we can make love for hours."

"I'm going to eat you out until you forget your own name."

"I look forward to it." As pleasing as the mental image was, what he missed most was the strong sense of connection between them. He knew the emotional distance was largely his fault. "Thank you for this, Levi. I apologize if I've been a bit distant."

"No, I get it. You have a lot to think about when you're out here." Levi snuggled back against him.

"You're certainly agreeable right now."

"Well, I just came." Levi paused. "But I'm also tired as fuck, and we've been gone from the others a long time."

"Yeah, we should head to bed." Erwin gave him one last tight hug, then stood.

Once they had tidied themselves up and retrieved the handkerchief, they parted ways. Erwin went over one last set of plans, then went downstairs, sandwiching himself carefully between a snoring Mike and a slumbering Levi. Within seconds of his eyes closing, he, too, drifted to sleep.

.*.*.*.

The days began to pass, blending into a rhythm: wake, relay the day's mission over breakfast, head out, silo one, silo two, discuss the aftermath and casualties. Then Mike and Levi's strike teams would head out to scout the next day's silos, reporting back with details. Erwin would modify the mission, meet with his officers, eat dinner, plan some more, and then sleep.

Every second night, he would pull Levi aside for more impersonal, take-the-edge-off time, but he found himself missing him a little more each time, not less. He missed Levi's kiss more than anything, and began to dream of secreting him away for a few hours so they could make out like a couple of teenagers. Still, they had other priorities.

The mission, at least, was proceeding well. Within ten days, they had successfully retrieved the contents of every silo near the first checkpoint. One had apparently been raided during the evacuation to Wall Rose, and another didn't contain half the contents on the roster, but the others had been bountiful. Now it was time to proceed to the second checkpoint further south, where the two remaining silos held enormous caches. Their supplies would make up more than half of their total haul; they were critical to the success of this mission, as well as to the plans to reclaim Wall Maria down the road.

And so, he felt his optimism waning when Levi and Mike returned on the tenth evening with bad news about the route to the second checkpoint.

"The area's still waterlogged," said Levi, handing him a piece of paper. "Eld and Nanaba recorded all the sinkholes."

"Still," murmured Erwin, studying the paper. "That's unfortunate."

"Yeah. And the checkpoint is a crumbling piece of shit. The wall around it is intact, but that's about it. We'll be sleeping in rubble."

"I see." Erwin frowned. "How dangerous is the gorge between here and the checkpoint?"

"It's a death trap. We're lucky we had this guy," said Levi, nodding up at Mike. "He kept us up to date on where the titans were around us. The gorge is too deep to give visibility, and too steep to travel easily between the ledge and the depths. Any teams riding above to scout will be stuck on their own up there."

The situation was exactly as Hange had suggested a couple weeks ago, when he had first been drafting up the mission. Erwin's brow furrowed. "I see. How long did it take you to pass through?"

"About thirty minutes," said Mike.

Erwin doubled that in his mind to account for the carts: an hour. That was a long time to be in territory that had no easy escape route. "What are your gut feelings on this one? Can we do it?"

Mike shrugged. "We've been through worse."

"Yeah, getting to the checkpoint won't be so bad," said Levi. "Not sure about what's after it, though."

Erwin drummed his fingers on the paper, weighing the pros and the cons. If their current loss rate held steady - one percent of their forces per day - they'd lose an additional four percent of their forces: one day to travel to the checkpoint and secure it, one day for each of the silos, then one day to return back to the first checkpoint.

Then again, they had already lost ten percent, so an extra four was acceptable given the enormous caches awaiting them. They were already well under his projected casualties for this point in the mission. Besides, if they came back for the caches later, who knew how many lives they'd spend getting to this point again? Doing it all in one expedition was the best way to minimize casualties in the long run.

His eyes wandered across the scouting team members who were brushing down the horses, and he wondered how many of their young lives he was about to forfeit.

"Thanks for the information," he said aloud. "I'm going to take a couple hours to process this. We'll have an officer's meeting first thing in the morning to discuss our next steps. You're dismissed."

Mike nodded and turned away, but Levi glanced around, then stepped closer.

"Anything else to discuss with me tonight?"

Erwin gave him a kind smile. "Not tonight, I'm afraid. This is a lot of information to process, so I need to stay focused."

"Okay. Maybe tomorrow night, then?" The man half-turned away, surveying the soldiers around them, as if making sure no one would overhear. His voice was low: "There's a patch of wild mint in the garden behind the next checkpoint. If we chew it, it might almost be as good as toothpaste."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I need to fucking kiss you. I'm sick of just jerking off together like we're two strangers at a strip club."

Erwin's brows rose. "I'm not sure what kind of strip clubs they have in the Underground, but that's not what people usually-"

"Look, you know what I mean." The man's shoulders rounded. "I need more. I know we're supposed to stay focused, and death is all around us, so maybe I'm being selfish, but-"

"Levi." Erwin squeezed his shoulder, letting his professional facade drop. "I know exactly what you mean. I miss you."

Levi looked up at him, face softening. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." His throat was tightening. He gave one more squeeze, then withdrew his hand. "We'll revisit this tomorrow night. Depending how this push goes, we might not be in the mood."

"Or we might need a distraction even more than we do now."

Erwin looked across the soldiers again, the lives he was going to willingly offer up, and his jaw tightened.

Foregoing his usual group meeting over dinner, Erwin stayed in his makeshift office until the oil burned low, sliding wooden markers across the map. He was hopeful there was another way to the checkpoint and silos that wouldn't take him through the dangerous gorge, but the terrain made his decisions for him: the only way around the gorge was a route that would take the formation a good ten hours out of the way. Not only was that a gruelling distance for both the horses and their riders, but the territory was un-scouted. Known danger was always safer than a complete unknown.

He awoke at dawn with his cheek pressed to the map, a crick in his neck, and no confidence in his plan.

Before breakfast, he summoned the officers. They gathered around the table, faces worn and grim, which wasn't all that surprising. At this point in a lengthy expedition, it was common for fatigue and despair to set in.

"Today," he said, "we're going to leave the recovered goods here, for now, and head south to the second checkpoint with only our food, water and medical supplies. Two remaining silos there hold a bounty of goods, almost the same amount as what we've already salvaged. We'll hit those silos one day at a time, which means five short days from now, we will be home. At that point, I will be heading to the Capital with Levi to report on our success, and the rest of you will be entitled to several days off to recuperate."

A wave of relief washed over them; he could see their stances relaxing and frowns lessening, even Levi's. Having an end goal to push to was always better for morale than an indefinite task.

"Our biggest challenge today will be this gorge." He traced his finger along the map. "It will take us about an hour to pass through. Much of it is too steep for the horses to climb up or down, and dangerous for 3DMG use, so we should treat this as a route with three separate tracks: the eastern cliff, the western cliff, and the central track inside the gorge itself. The cliffs have too many narrow segments for the carts, so we'll have to take them down the centre. This leaves them blind to titan ambushes from above, so we'll need interference groups on the eastern and western tracks. I recognize this is less than ideal, but there is no easy defensive solution. Here is my proposal."

Four pairs of eyes locked onto him, waiting expectantly.

Erwin traced the paths with his finger. "Berit and Hange, you will ride with the carts down the centre of the gorge. I want half your teams in the vanguard, half in the rearguard. Your task, above all else, is to protect the carts and the supplies they carry.

"Mike, you'll be riding along the eastern cliff, Levi, along the western. Your teams will be spotting and eliminating any titan threats before they can ambush the carts. You may be required to switch to 3DMG and aid Berit and Hange as needed. I don't think I need to tell you how difficult the gear is to use in rocky terrain, so be careful.

"As for me, I'll be riding alongside Mike. His nose will warn us of impending danger, and I can use that information to direct the group. Our options will be limited to speed, not direction, and I may at any time signal for us to break into a full run. Our objective is to get as many people and supplies to the checkpoint as we can, so our tactics will focus on fleeing, rather than engaging, where possible."

There was a long silence.

"I don't like the idea of you being that exposed," said Levi. "You should be with the carts." His brow was furrowed, a tiny twitch in his lips.

Erwin held his gaze. "I need to have the best vantage point possible, so I need to be on high ground."
"I'll make sure he's safe," said Mike quietly.

The Squad Leaders stared at each other for a few seconds, then Levi nodded. "Okay."

"Any other concerns?" asked Erwin. When he was met with a long silence, he stood tall, clasping his hands behind his back. "Please relay these details to your teams during breakfast. We'll be using the morning to safely stow the goods we rescued from the silos, and we'll be departing at noon. Dismissed."

As three Squad Leaders filed from the room, Levi stayed behind. Hange, the last one out, glanced back at them and then softly closed the door.

"I'm sorry, Levi," said Erwin. "I don't like leaving your squad so exposed, but I need your skills. You'll be protecting all of us."

Levi surprised him; he closed the distance between them and pressed his cheek against Erwin's chest. "You didn't come to bed last night."

"I fell asleep here." Erwin hugged him tightly, wishing they had time to hold each other for a few minutes, but they had other tasks. He released him. "We'll talk tonight. You need to relay the plans to your team, and I need to think of contingency plans for this leg of the journey."

"Yeah, okay." Levi stepped back, his face solemn. "Make sure you eat something. If you pass out from hunger, we're all fucked."

"I'll eat. I promise." Maybe he'd even chew a few coffee beans to help him stay alert – he had smuggled a small pouch of them in his saddlebag.

"Good. Don't forget, we have plans tonight." Levi caught his bolo tie and pulled him down, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone. It was such an unexpectedly gentle move that Erwin's throat tightened.

Then, without looking back, the Squad Leader left the room.

Erwin's hands curled into fists as he returned to the map. There would be time to acknowledge the butterflies in his stomach later. For now, he had work to do.

.*.*.*.

They set out shortly before noon, travelling in the long distance scouting formation as long as the landscape would allow. It felt good to be riding alongside Mike like the olden days, when the man had been a Team Leader on Erwin's squad. No words passed between the old friends, but Erwin felt a bond nonetheless. They read each other well on the battlefield, instinctively following each other's cues.

The cliffs of the gorge rose ahead of them, and Erwin stared. "Gorge" was an understatement - canyon would have been more appropriate. Even when Wall Maria had stood, this area had been largely uninhabited due to the harsh terrain, so this was his first time seeing it face-to-face. For a moment, he felt intimidated. This isn't a place for humans.

Remembering himself, he looked across the faces of his troops and saw trepidation on their faces. He sat tall.

"Shelter and rest awaits us on the other side! Deploy the special formation." He thrust his right arm out, showing as much strength as he could muster.

A note of understanding rang out from the troops as they split into three. To the west, Erwin could see Levi leading his team to the cliff, knuckles white on the reins. The man looked up at him, and they exchanged a nod. Stay safe.

The eastern ledge overlooking the gorge was narrower than Erwin had anticipated; in places, it was only safe to ride through two at a time. He cocked his head at Mike, who nodded and fell into place beside him, the two of them taking the lead. Below them, Erwin could see the defensive teams and the carts, and in his periphery, he saw Levi's squad. The terrain on the western side gave Levi's team a wider gap, and he was grateful. The more manoeuvring room the team had, the less precarious their positions if anything went wrong.

"Halfway," said Mike after awhile, pointing at an old gnarled tree growing out the cliff face. He must have mentally used that as a route marker when he was scouting.

Erwin glanced across the group, feeling uneasy. Perhaps it made sense that there were no titans in this area, given that there had never been any settlements - there were no remnants of humans to attract hungry titans. Not that anyone was certain what attracted them in the first place. Fresh corpses didn't draw their attention, and neither did animals of any kind. It's almost as if they can smell our souls.

"Erwin," said Mike, his voice urgent.

Erwin's eyes locked onto him. "Which direction?"

"West. Lots, coming our way."

His breath caught. He looked across the gap at Levi, then cursed. There were trees lining the western side of the cliff; he didn't have a clear line of sight. The cliffs were too far apart and too steep to send a messenger over by 3DMG.

Setting his jaw, he clicked a green flare into his gun and aimed it forward, along the route of the gorge. If he sees me signal, he'll know something's amiss.

The coloured smoke hissed through the air. Berit fired an answering round from below.

Moments later, a green round went out from Levi's position behind the wall of trees.

Breathing hard, Erwin increased their pace. "You think we can get soldiers over there if he needs help?"

Mike's jaw slid out at an angle, as if he were considering it. "It's a dangerous shot down to the carts, and another from the carts to the cliff line, and then we'd be sitting ducks over there without horses. We might lose more people than we save."

Erwin held his gaze for a moment, then turned back toward Levi. The wall of trees had ended, so they had a clear line of sight again. The Squad Leader held out both his arms in an exaggerated shrug as if to say, what's going on?

Erwin clicked a blade into place and motioned past Levi, to the west. The man nodded and turned to face his squad, presumably to relay the message.

"He's capable," said Mike.

"He is," said Erwin, but his heart was thudding in his chest.

.*.*.*.

Levi clicked a black round into his flare gun, just in case they encountered an abnormal. His squad could hold the line against a sizeable group of normal, predictable titans, but one or two abnormals could change everything. He didn't see an easy way for anyone to come to their aid, but at least they could warn the others in case their line fell. They had to protect the carts and the bulk of the Survey Corps at all costs.

The hills along their western flank flattened into open land, and that's when Levi first saw the approaching titans. There were nine of them, all between 3- and 7-metre class, charging toward them. They were too widely spaced for Levi to ricochet between them. His throat tightened. That's a fucking army.

"Shit," whimpered Gunther.

What the fuck do we do?Levi glanced across the gorge at Erwin, whose face, even from this distance, was visibly pale. He saw a glint of metal as the man waved forward: run.

"We're going to try to outrun them." Levi turned to address the group. "Go, as fast as you can. Strike team, with me; we'll form the rear flank. We'll engage, if we have to. All other teams: keep pace with the group, and stand your ground if they get past us. If you see a white flare, that means your primary directive is to abandon your horses, drop down to the carts and get the fuck out." If it came down to it, the strike team could buy them time. Their priority right now was to save as many lives as possible, even if that meant sacrificing a small subset of his squad so the majority could flee.

"Shit!" whimpered Gunther again, and Levi silently echoed the sentiment.

He thrust out his arm. "Go!"

The rest of the teams burst past him, opening into a gallop. Levi and his strike team fell to the rear. In his periphery, he saw Erwin and the carts speed up.

"Sir," yelled Eld, his voice wobbling. "They're too spaced out. If we engage one, the others will surround us."

"We don't need to kill them, just neutralize them: go for eyes, knees, ankles, anything that will slow them down. Pick them off one at a time. Work in pairs. Eld and Gunther, Nadya and Anton. I'll take out as many as I can alone." His throat ached. We needed Sonja here-No, that thought could wait for another time.

The titans were closing in. Levi's breaths came in short blasts, his conscious thought fading to the background, instinct taking over...

He veered toward the titans, swords drawn.

The first pair of soldiers rode to the closest titan, the second pair to the second closest. Levi went for the third. His anchor slammed into its forehead and he leapt off the horse, using a burst of gas to propel himself around to the titan's back. The anchor released, and he pulled into a spin as he dropped, carving out its weak spot. It was a sloppy cut, and the angle dulled his blades.

The next titan was too far away to hit with his grapple, and there weren't any objects in the environment he could use for height advantage. Well, his blades were dull, anyway. He mounted and ran toward it, then, when he was close enough, flung the dull blades at it. They stabbed deep into its eyes; it howled and dropped to a seat on the ground, clawing at its face.

Eld and Gunther began to ride toward it as if to finish it off, but Levi yelled, "It's down! Get the next one." They nodded and rode for the fifth. Nadya and Anton burst past them, riding for the sixth.

Levi charged toward the seventh, but then his stomach dropped.

More titans were approaching from the rear - six of them, between three- and ten-metre class. At least one of them was moving at a higher speed than usual, barrelling toward them.

A fucking abnormal.

He fired the black round into the air.

Erwin's answer came a moment later: a green round, aimed forward. He wants us to run.

Levi gritted his teeth. He fired a white round, signalling for the rest of the teams to drop down to the carts. Save yourselves.

"Hold the line," he yelled to his strike team. "Give them time to get away."

The seventh and eighth titans dropped, and Levi felled the ninth, finishing off this swarm. The abnormal was still closing the ground between them, but the second swarm was far enough back to outrun. He wiped a smear of steaming blood from his forehead, filled with revulsion. I might be able to take them all, if they stay clustered...

But those weren't his orders.

The carts and the group were far ahead of them now. Most of his squad had, as ordered, used their gear to drop down to the carts. This was a good time to run.

"Strike team, take the horses," he yelled, pointing his blade south. His strike team began to whistle, and the horses fell into a herd behind them. Levi brought up the rear, constantly looking over his shoulder.

The gap between them and the swarm of titans began to widen, but that one abnormal was still gaining on them.

I guess it's up to me.

Levi clicked fresh blades into place and fell back from the group.

"Squad Leader," yelled Nadya, her voice almost lost among the stampeding hoof beats. He glanced her way and saw the four soldiers staring at him with wide eyes.

"Keep running," he called. "If this one gets past me, take it out. Protect the group at all costs." If this abnormal decided to jump down to the centre of the gorge, it could cause horrendous destruction before anyone had time to drop it.

He could feel the reverberations of its footsteps, closer, closer...

The abnormal lunged at him.

He leapt from the saddle, expended a large burst of gas and pulled into a spin, razing up the beast's arm. An enormous hand slammed at him; Levi dodged just in time, leaping high into the air. His grapple sank into the nape of the titan's neck.

You aren't so tough.

His blades sliced the flesh, and the titan sank to the ground.

He lifted his head and, through the steam, saw the advancing horde. Now that his battle instincts were fully awakened, there was the red fog of the blood thirst, the one that told him he could take on this entire swarm. He knew he could do it: he was too fast for them, too smart. He could ricochet from one to the other until they were nothing more than a pile of steaming, bloody remains. The idea made his muscles burn, his heart sing.

Those aren't my orders!It physically hurt to turn away. Breathing hard, he mounted his horse.

We don't have to run. I can take them out, said the red fog.

He stared straight ahead, at the team he had been tasked with keeping alive. His eyes drifted across the carts, where the rest of his squad was safely huddled, and finally, across to Erwin, far in the vanguard, his golden hair glowing in the sunlight.

If I throw my life into danger, he might risk these lives to try to save me,thought Levi. Or, worse yet, he'll do nothing, and then spend the rest of his life blaming himself.

He couldn't do that to the man he loved.

He leaned forward, resolute, as the red fog dissipated. If Erwin wanted them to run, then they'd run.

As they pulled away from the titans, the gorge began to flatten. On the horizon, Levi could see the walls of the checkpoint.

Erwin only slowed them when they were about to close in on the walls. Levi stared back at the way they'd come.

The land was quiet. We lost them.

They began to file through the gates: first the carts, then the horses. The soldiers who had fled began to mill between the horses, reuniting with their mounts.

"You showed good judgement back there, Levi," said Erwin's voice behind him. "Having the majority of the team drop down to the carts may very well have saved their lives, and your strike team kept the titans occupied so that they didn't consider venturing down the cliffs toward the carts. Good work."

Levi turned. The Commander was flanked by Mike, both of them grim-faced. "Are they still following us?"

"Not that Mike can tell," said Erwin, glancing at the Squad Leader as he mentioned him. "But I'm going to have him loop back before he begins this afternoon's scouting mission, just to double-check that they're no longer a threat. You're going to stay here. Your team has already seen enough action for one day, and we'll be tackling one silo a day out here, so we don't need both of you to scout."

"Okay." Normally, he would have protested, but his muscles were starting to realize just how much energy he had expended. Going into his battle trance was always so draining. "I can organize a cleaning crew instead."

Erwin looked as if he were about to stop him, but then caught himself. "Might as well." He gripped Levi's shoulder, and that grip was so tight that it conveyed everything his face didn't: fear, relief, concern.

Levi held his gaze. "We'll talk more tonight, after dinner?"

Erwin nodded, then turned and walked away.

.*.*.*.

Mike returned late in the afternoon with unpleasant news: the land between their new base and the first silo was laden with sinkholes. "Road washed out in a couple places, too." He handed Erwin a map.

The furniture was so battered that they'd had to make a makeshift table out of a door and two benches. Erwin gingerly unrolled the map, hoping the table would hold. Mike's team had clearly marked all the sinkholes they had come across. Erwin's brow furrowed; there was very little room to manoeuvre if they needed to avoid titans. This was going to take a lot of careful planning.

Not trusting his own judgement alone, he pulled Hange aside - the Squad Leader seemed to be relieved to abandon Levi's cleaning tasks. By dinnertime, the two of them had locked down a route.

He spent dinner relaying the plan to the officers, then finished off a bit more paperwork. By the time Levi arrived in his office - or rather, the crumbling remains of a room where they had set out the door-table - night had already fallen.

Levi began to set his lamp on the door-table, then appeared to think better of it, holding it instead. "This whole place is a shitpile. You have time to take a break?"

Erwin stood tall and stretched his neck, which ached from hours of hunching over the table. "I'm not sure where we'll find any privacy." Large chunks of the checkpoint were missing, as if titans had smashed through it. The only remaining door was now functioning as his table.

"I saw a place. This way." Levi cocked his head toward the doorway.

They stepped into the hallway, where they were greeted by Hange. The Squad Leader's face was surprisingly gentle.

"Our guard," said Levi.

"Hange?" Erwin felt a blush creep up his face, and he hoped the yellow lamplight would hide it. "You don't have to-"

"It's fine." Hange smiled. "I told Levi I'd help protect some private time for the two of you."

"And you promised you weren't going to listen or sneak a peek," said Levi sternly.

Hange's nose wrinkled. "Are you kidding? I've already seen more than I ever wanted."

Erwin's cheeks burned. "This is highly unusual."

"Oh, relax. It's just sex," said Hange. There was a pause. "Sir."

His skin crawled, but he looked down at Levi, and decided the awkwardness would be worth it.

They walked down a long hallway, its corners lined with cobwebs. At the very end was a large room, scant remains of a stone wall jutting from its centre.

"I figure we can sit behind there," said Levi, motioning at the stone remains.

"It's not too dirty in here for you?" asked Erwin.

"We're already fucking filthy, and I've got other priorities right now."

"Well," said Hange, "I'll go wait at the end of the hall and make sure no one sneaks up this way. Just don't be too loud - the sound will probably carry."

Erwin shifted on his feet, uncomfortable. "This is well beyond your duties as a Squad Leader."

"Consider it a favour. As a friend. Besides, Levi's much more bearable when he's getting laid." Hange quickly turned and marched down the hallway.

Still feeling a bit awkward, Erwin turned to face Levi, who was setting the lamp behind the stone rubble.

"Even if someone gets past shitgoggles somehow, this wall should shield us. Maybe we should turn off the lamp just in case?"

"No, I want to see your face." Erwin circled the rubble and sat, his knees creaking. He leaned back against the wall. A moment later, Levi sat beside him. He held out his hand, revealing several small green leaves.

"Take them."

Erwin grabbed them and began to chew. The mint taste was strong, cutting through the thick layer of grime inside his mouth. He used his tongue to scrub his teeth with the leaves, trying to clean it as much as possible. Beside him, he could see Levi doing the same with his own mouthful.

After a few minutes, he was convinced that his mouth was in kissable condition. He swallowed it, hoping the mint would settle his stomach as well. The constant stress had tied it in knots.

Levi swallowed, too.

For a moment, they sat side by side, the room silent except for their breaths. Erwin reached over to cover Levi's hand, which lay beside him on the ground. Their fingers intertwined.

"I miss you," he said quietly.

Levi turned to him, his irises glittering in the lamplight. The strong lights and shadows showcased the curve of his cheekbones, the sharpness of his jaw. Erwin's breath caught. Even this deep into an expedition, he's still so beautiful.

"So?" said Levi, and Erwin could tell he was shy.

Summoning all his bravery, Erwin leaned down to kiss the narrow lips.

It was a foreign sensation at first, their lips chapped and rough, but then Levi's lips parted for him, and there was that familiar damp warmth, those slightly crooked teeth. Levi's breath was still strong even with the mint, but not unpleasant; the taste made Erwin's groin stir. He heard a small moan slide through his nose before he could catch it.

He pulled away, gasping for air, but Levi lunged forward and closed the gap again. These kisses were shallower, softer. A tongue soothed his dry lips, then finally probed deeper. It felt so good to kiss like this, knowing they weren't going to be able to have sex - the denial made it even more arousing. Erwin felt as if he were a lovestruck boy, existing in a time when kissing was the ultimate form of expressing love, of experimentation.

Levi pulled back and rested his forehead against Erwin's. "What are you doing to me?"

"Hm?" Erwin rolled his head forward to kiss the tip of the pointy nose.

"I'm sitting in filth, our faces are chapped to shit, and we're just kissing, but it feels..." Levi breathed in, his eyes fluttering closed.

"It feels good?" Erwin nipped at the tip of his nose this time.

"So fucking good." Their lips met again once, twice. "I could kiss you all night."

Erwin ran the pads of his fingers along the narrow jaw. "Then don't stop." He lifted Levi onto his lap and bent forward to kiss him again.

Gradually, as their kisses progressed, the innocence began to fall away. Levi shifted in his lap, and Erwin's hips rocked, just once, and soon they fell into a rhythm. Friction built between them, almost painful, as their hands became claws. Their kisses deepened, tongues rubbing together, teeth digging in.

Levi tore his mouth away to whisper frantically, "I need to come."

"Touch yourself." Erwin kissed his jaw, his neck.

"That's not enough." The man's hand twisted into the bolo tie and pushed Erwin away. For a moment, the frenzy paused. Their gaze held, their chests heaving with breaths.

"Levi?" asked Erwin gently.

"It's not enough. I need more." The narrow brows pinched. "But the smell..."

"Here." Erwin pulled off his jacket and laid it across their laps.

"What are you-?"

"We can be closer without exposing ourselves to any unpleasant scents." Erwin fumbled beneath his jacket to undo Levi's belts and fly, pulling him out of his pants. With his other hand, he did the same to himself.

"Fuck," whispered Levi, shifting his position until they touched, the jacket still covering them both. His skin was burning hot, and so soft; Erwin threw his head back, choking back a groan. His hand wrapped around both of them and began to stroke.

Levi cursed again, closing his fingers over Erwin's, the two hands moving in unison beneath the jacket. Their eyes locked, and for the first time since they had set out on the expedition, Erwin felt that strong connection he had been craving. He bent forward to kiss Levi, his hand speeding up. Normally, the awkward contact wouldn't be enough to bring him to orgasm - not easily, anyway - but that shared connection was pushing him forward.

Levi threw his head back; his eyelids began to flutter, his lips flared. "Your jacket... We're going to fuck it up. I'm already wet."

Liquid trailed down Erwin's knuckles, and he felt himself begin to fall. "Levi," he whispered. "Levi, I can't-"

"Shit, I'm going to come." Levi tossed the jacket aside, using his hand to tilt their aim.

As the first pulse rippled through Erwin, he fought to keep his eyes open a crack. They came together against the stone wall, and the sight was so arousing that he couldn't hold back a moan. He could feel Levi pulse against him in their joined hands, could hear Levi's breath escape in a silent scream.

Then everything was still.

Slowly, he regained control over his body and his breaths. His eyes closed, his head slumping forward. A moment later, he felt Levi's forehead rest against his.

"What a mess," muttered Levi. "We got some on your pants."

"It's okay."

"And the wall looks like-"

Erwin didn't want to hear whatever crass comparison was certain to come. He grabbed Levi's cravat and pulled him in, delivering a chain of gentle kisses to his lips.

"Mm." Levi pulled back. "Trying to shut me up?"

"Maybe at first. Now I can't stop." He tilted his head for a few more pecks, then leaned into a firm final kiss. "Levi, I want nothing more than to curl up with you and kiss you all night."

"But?"

"But we should clean up and get some rest. Tomorrow's mission is sure to be difficult."

"I guess. Part of me wishes we could just stay here all night." Levi ran a finger down Erwin's nose, his expression sad. Erwin felt melancholy swell in the pit of his stomach. If only we lived in a world where we didn't have to prioritize humanity's happiness over our own.

"Come on," he said, standing.

By the time they were dressed, Erwin could feel his professional demeanour falling back into place. He stood in front of Levi, not sure what to say.

"Stay safe tomorrow," he said finally.

"Yeah, you too." Levi's face was impassive, the earlier sadness buried. It was difficult to stay vulnerable out here.

With one final kiss, they stepped out of the room.

Hange was waiting at the end of the hall. A brow rose as they approached. "Well, aren't you two rosy-cheeked. Get what you needed?"

Levi delivered a friendly punch to the Squad Leader's bicep as he walked past. "Mind your own business, four-eyes."

"Thank you for your assistance, Hange," said Erwin, awkward. The idea of using someone to keep watch was a lot more ludicrous now that he wasn't pent up.

"Don't worry about it. Now you'll focus better tomorrow, so we'll all benefit." Hange smiled. "And I may have a couple favours to call in later."

"Then let's hope the next couple days are a success so we can fund them," said Erwin. "Let's get some sleep."

.*.*.*.

They set out for the first of the new silos early in the morning.

Not trusting himself to remember every sinkhole, Erwin commandeered one of Berit's defenders, a man named Gerard, to ride beside him with the map. The man was an excellent navigator, giving him plenty of advance notice whenever they were getting near any sinkholes Mike's team had noted. Erwin redirected the formation, wending around potentially unstable ground. They arrived at the silo intact.

As the formation pulled in, Erwin directed the teams to form a perimeter around the silo. He stood at the southernmost point of the perimeter, observing. The air was unnaturally still, and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He watched Levi pick the lock, then begin to direct teams to unload the supplies. He's really showing his leadership capabilities this expedition,he thought, feeling a swell of pride. Soldiers began to stream out carrying boxes upon boxes of supplies.

"Erwin," barked Mike a few minutes later, halting his horse in front of him.

His stomach dropped. "Where?"

"West, a ways out. Can't tell how many there are."

"Are they closing in?"

"Slowly." Mike stared at the silo, frowning. "We should still have time to get all the supplies out."

Erwin waved over Gerard and examined the map. Even if they had time to load the carts, they'd have to push immediately east to try to avoid the titans. That took them into territory that hadn't been scouted yet. He set his jaw. Staying the course could mean losing soldiers to titans; changing course could mean getting bogged down in a sinkhole.

"There are a lot of them," said Mike, sniffing the air. "More coming from the northeast."

"Shit," muttered Erwin. He turned to face the group and barked, "Hange, Berit, Levi."

They all looked at him for a moment, eyes wide, and then began to jog over. He used the few seconds to race through scenarios in his mind, calculating likely outcomes.

"Titans?" asked Levi, standing in front of him.

"Northeast and west, closing in. Lots of them."

"How do they know we're here?" asked Hange.

"That's not important right now. Here's what we're going to do." Erwin dismounted and held out the map. The others huddled around him. "The instant the supplies are secured, we're going to start running at high speed along the route we used to come here. If the titans begin to intercept, we'll have to engage. We can't circumnavigate them here, not with so many unknown sinkholes waiting for us."

Four pairs of eyes locked onto him, showing a mixture of fear and determination.

He held each of their gazes in turn, Levi's the longest. "I don't need to tell you how dangerous this might be." He tapped the second checkpoint on the map. "If it all goes to hell, our top priority is to get those goods back to the checkpoint. The value of these supplies cannot be underestimated; this will be the key to getting us to Wall Maria for our reclamation effort. You are, of course, to try to minimize casualties as much as possible. Understood?"

"Sir," said the others.

"Good. Let's get the carts loaded as quickly and safely as possible. Brief your team leaders on the new plan while we're waiting. I'll fire a red flare if our departure becomes even more urgent." He stood and saluted them. "Good luck, officers."

They hurried away, except for Mike, who sniffed the air a few times.

"If you have any further information, Mike, please let me know," said Erwin, preparing to dismiss him.

The Squad Leader turned to him, fear showing on his normally stoic face, and Erwin's stomach had already dropped before the words were uttered: "Even more coming."

"Where?"

"Wandering in from the south. They don't seem to have noticed us yet, but they might get wind of us soon. And the western group is going to be within sight at any second."

Shit.Erwin glanced at the horizon, then back at the silo. The cart teams were strapping in the last supplies. The other Squad Leaders were still speaking with their Team Leaders. We're running out of time. If we get surrounded, we're finished.

"All teams," he roared, "prepare to return to base!"

By the time everyone had mounted, the titans were already visible on the horizon.

Erwin gritted his teeth and fired a green flare north, toward the checkpoint. As they began to pull away from the silo, the teams settled into close-range formation. Berit rode next to him, barking orders at her team.

Erwin glanced over at Mike, who pointed northeast. They're getting close, too.

"Gerard," he called to their navigator, "keep an eye on the map. We have to avoid the sinkholes at all costs."

"Sir," replied the man.

Erwin glanced back toward the approaching titans. The smaller carts, even fully-laden, would be able to keep out of range of the titans under normal conditions, but the slippery terrain was sure to become a problem. His head whirled. Should we abandon the supplies?It would be a big blow to his plans to reclaim Wall Maria, but those supplies wouldn't help one bit if there was no regiment to use them.

Just as Mike had foreseen, a cluster of titans appeared to the northeast. Red flares began to go up from the eastern vanguard and the rearguard, indicating that the titans were closing in.

"They're going to pincer us," said Berit, panic in her voice.

"Gerard," called Erwin, "if we deviate west-"

"No good, sir. Sinkholes everywhere."

He cursed under his breath. There was no avoiding it; even if they abandoned the carts now, they were still going to have to fight. "Nearest tall trees?"

"Northeast."

Right by the group closing in. Erwin glanced back across the formation, knuckles white on the reins.

A black flare went up from the centre of the formation.

What?Erwin stared at it as the smoke began to drift. How was that possible? Was it an abnormal, or a different type of emergency?

"Berit," he barked. "Send a team."

"Sir!"

He clicked a green round into place and fired to the northeast.

"Commander," said Gerard, "we can't go northeast! The titans-"

"We can't win this battle on flat ground." He clenched his jaw, not allowing himself to second-guess his decision. Fight here on flat ground, get to advantageous ground by the northeast titans, or deviate west and sink everyone into sinkholes: those were his options.

Berit's runner came galloping up beside him. "Commander! Black flare went up because four carts are stuck in a sinkhole. The rearguard is defending while they try to free them."

"Shit," yelled Berit.

"Impossible," said Gerard, frantically scouring the map. "We just travelled over the same patch of land ourselves, and it wasn't marked-"

"The carts are heavy with supplies," said Erwin, eyes ticking back across the formation. "They must have been just heavy enough to disrupt the stability." Red flares were going up from the rear and the western flanks now. The trees were still too far away to reach, and he couldn't just abandon the back half of the formation. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

"Erwin?" asked Berit, voice wavering.

His eyes opened and he fired a green round back toward the carts. "All teams, form a perimeter around the stuck carts. We must defend them until they can move again."

"Sir!" Green flares burst into the air around him, and runners streamed back through the ranks to relay to the message to the rearguard.

Erwin circled his horse, then galloped toward the centre of the formation. Red flares were going up from the east, closer and closer, and the ground was beginning to shake with approaching footsteps.

"Behind you!" hollered Berit.

Erwin turned to see a titan lunging at him.

He yelled and cracked the reins; the horse burst forward. The titan lunged past him and swallowed the soldier behind him. Two of Berit's squadmates anchored onto its shoulders, taking it down. But now other titans were surrounding them. Too many.

"All soldiers, engage," roared Erwin, clicking his blades into place. More red flares were going up in the rear. His heart pounded in his throat.

A soldier took out a titan's knees, and it fell to the ground. Erwin sank his grapple into its nape and sliced deep into the flesh. Another lunged down at him; he anchored to its hip and swung high into the air, then barreled toward its weak spot. Blood spattered his face, and he wiped it away.

"Your left," yelled Berit behind him.

Not wasting time looking, Erwin blasted the gas to propel himself forward. Teeth snapped behind him, so close that the breeze blew him sideways, knocking him off kilter. The titan's shoulder bashed into him.

He plummeted toward the ground.

Instinctively, he pulled into a ball. He landed hard on his shoulder and rolled. Pain shot through his torso. Stunned, he lay on his back, wheezing for air.

Get up.He struggled to his feet, blinking the spots from his vision so he could reorient himself.

Titans had surrounded them, grabbing soldiers, biting their bodies in half. Severed limbs and bodies littered the ground, red mist, screams... Steam fogged the air. Erwin's head spun. This isn't real. This is a nightmare.

Berit stood in front of him, stance wide, swords brandished. A 6-metre titan faced her, its head tilted. Studying them.

An abnormal.Erwin reached for his flare gun, but the blow had knocked it off his belt. He spotted it several metres to his right. The bag of smoke flares lay beside it, rounds littering the ground. He took a step toward it, then yelped and sank to one knee as pain squeezed his torso. The landing must have damaged his ribs.

"Commander, stay back!" Berit barked the names of two nearby soldiers, and the three of them began a coordinated takedown on the abnormal titan. Berit threw her blades at its eyes, and the other two moved in to disable its legs.

The ground shook. Another titan was approaching from Erwin's left. He gritted his teeth and stood tall, forcing himself to push through the pain in his ribs. He aimed his grapple at the titan's head.

The gear wouldn't fire.

He looked down and cursed. The impact of his fall had crushed the grapple and gas mechanism on one side.

"Erwin," yelped Berit. "Help!"

He looked up to see the woman skip along the ground like a stone across water; she gave a burst of gas to regain control and landed on her feet, skidding to a stop beside him. The abnormal was squeezing the life out of one of her soldiers, and the third soldier was nowhere to be seen. Blades jutted out of the abnormal's bloody eye sockets, but it was still advancing on them, leering.

"My gear's broken," wheezed Erwin. "Take out its legs. I'll get help." He barrelled toward the flare gun, clutching his ribs. The pain was so intense that darkness blossomed through his vision. Keep going. Keep going. We need backup.

He heard a scream. Berit flopped along the ground beside him, landing in a heap. He couldn't tell if she was unconscious or dead. Keep going. Keep going.He was so close to the flare gun, so close...

Enormous fingers wrapped around him and lifted him into the air.

Time slowed.

The fingers began to tighten around him. Erwin roared. With a surge of adrenaline, he sliced off the beast's index finger, pulling one arm and a blade free from its grip.

Three more. He tried to hack the next finger. The titan's remaining fingers squeezed his torso in response. Cracks reverberated through his chest, pain spiking through him. Shit!

Then he was held up to the titan's face, with its perverse leer and steaming eye sockets. It tilted its head, as if trying to study him even though it was still blinded.

Erwin's brows dropped.

No.

He thought of his father, of the enthusiastic light in the blue eyes, the passion that would creep into his soft voice.

He thought of the humans trapped inside the walls, of the freedom out here and beyond, the land that was rightfully theirs, the land that had been stolen from them.

He thought of Mike, of Nile, of Marie and Jasper. Hange, Berit, and Levi.

Levi.

No! Not yet.

He howled and twisted his upper body, ignoring the agony, zeroing in on the discarded flares on the ground.

Not yet!

The black flare cartridge lay on the ground, the same distance away from him as the bull's-eye in the training grounds back in Trost. He had one free blade. One shot.

Just like you practiced. Don't overthink it. Distract yourself. Pain seared through his chest and shoulder as he raised his blade in the air.

He focused on Levi: the way their fingers interlaced, large and small, fitting together so perfectly that they might have been created for each other. He thought of the tenderness that showed in the silver-blue eyes, reserved only for Erwin. The smooth voice, somehow liquid and warm even when it was at its harshest, stringing together crass phrases with word mastery that would make a poet jealous.

His heart glowed. He threw the blade.

It twisted through the air once, twice, and sliced the round in half. Black smoke burst from it in a cloud that began to dissipate as it rose into the air.

Please see it...

Stars began to dot Erwin's vision.

Levi.

.*.*.*.

Another titan fell beneath Levi's blade - his eighth? Tenth? He had lost track. Around him, Gunther, Eld and Anton were carving through their foes, but he couldn't see Nadya.

He landed on his feet, looking around. All the titans were engaged with pairs or trios of Mike's soldiers. Mike nodded at him

"We've got this. Go."

"Move out," called Levi to his team. He mounted and led the three soldiers deeper into the battlefield. Now that he had time to survey the damage, his stomach churned. The titans had torn through the eastern flank. Remains were scattered everywhere, titan steam casting a low fog over the land.

Once they emerged from the steam cloud, his eyes ticked across the battlefield, looking to see where they'd be most useful. He frowned. Wherewouldn'twe be useful?Three carts were still mired, and the soldiers who had been struggling to free them were engaging with titans instead. Titan steam was going up from the south and the north, wafting on the wind. His blood ran cold as he stared at the north. There were no signal flares going up, and in a bloodbath like this, that usually meant there was no one left to pull the trigger.

Erwin and Berit are over there.

"Orders, sir?" called Eld.

His eyes narrowed. "North."

As they began to gallop toward the frontlines, Levi's eyes scoured the horizon for signs of life, for golden hair. The carnage was even worse here than it had been by the carts, and he cursed.

A puff of black smoke went off in the distance - not in a tall column, but in a burst, so low that he almost missed it. What the hell?

"Follow me," he yelled to his team.

They galloped toward the front at top speed, and that's when Levi saw a titan lifting Erwin toward its mouth, Berit unconscious at its feet.

His stomach dropped. "Get Berit," he called to the others, and he barrelled toward Erwin. Go faster, you fucking horse, go faster!

The titan's hand was almost at its mouth now, its jaw was widening...

The instant Levi was within range, he stood in the saddle. His grapple sank into the titan's temple. It turned to look at him with steaming eye sockets.

Fuck you!Levi launched into the air and pulled into a spin, driving at its weak spot. The titan tried to bat him away with its free hand, but without its vision, it was swinging blindly.

Levi's blades sank into its flesh.

The titan dropped to its knees, its arm lolling to the side. Erwin rolled out of its fist, flopping to the ground. He tried to push himself up on one arm, then sank flat.

"Erwin." Levi landed beside him, eyes scanning their surroundings.

"My ribs," gasped Erwin. His breath was coming in wheezes, his skin pale.

"Where's your horse?" Levi couldn't see it. We'll have to share mine.

"Squad Leader," yelled Gunther, pointing. Four more titans were running toward them.

"Get Berit out of here." Levi gripped Erwin's shoulder. "Get up."

Erwin struggled to one knee. He yelled and hunched over.

"You fucking asshole, get up." Levi grabbed his arm and jerked him to both feet.

"Fuck!" The Commander fell against him, and Levi grunted, bracing himself against the man's weight.

"Move." He began to pull him toward the horse, already wondering how he was going to get the half-conscious man onto it. Levi might be humanity's strongest, but ninety kilos of dead weight was going to be difficult to manoeuvre.

"Squad Leader," called Eld. He had Berit slung across the saddle in front of him.

"She alive?"

"Yeah."

"Get out of here. I'll find you."

"Levi," said Erwin, his voice strained. "I'm...fading." He stumbled.

We don't have time."This is going to hurt." Levi grabbed the man under his armpits and began to drag him toward the horse. Erwin yelled, and the sound stabbed deep into Levi's heart, but he ignored it. Better pain than death.

"When we get to the horse," said Levi, "you're going to use all your strength to get into that saddle. I don't give a shit how much it hurts. Got it?"

There was no reply; the man's gasps were beginning to rattle in a way that made Levi's stomach twist.

When they reached the horse, however, Erwin bore his own weight, as if tapping into one last reserve of strength. He climbed into the saddle with a noise that was half-scream, half-roar. Shaky, Levi climbed into the saddle in front of him.

"Hold on tight.".

The horse began to gallop.

Erwin leaned against his back; his head was increasingly heavy on Levi's shoulder.

"Come on, you asshole, stay with me." Levi glanced back, and his stomach dropped. A three-metre titan was on their tail. Normally, his horse could outrun it, but with Erwin's added weight, he wasn't so sure.

"I have to take care of this." He nudged Erwin's head with his shoulder. "You need to control the horse."

"Break my finger," mumbled Erwin.

"What?"

The man's left hand thrust into his field of vision. "The small finger. Do it."

"What the fuck?" Levi turned his head to stare. Erwin's lids were low and fluttering.

"Passing out. Need pain...shock me awake."

Levi panicked. "You're passing out because you have too much pain, you fucking moron!"

"Squad Leader," rasped Erwin. "That's an order."

"Fuck." Levi grabbed the hand he had held tenderly so many times, then gripped the bone of his little finger. Even on a guy this large, it's so small. So fragile.

He closed his eyes.

The bone snapped with a sickening crunch that reverberated through his hands, his arms. The Commander's yell was so pained and animalistic that Levi's stomach heaved, tears flooding his eyes. "Erwin, you fucking asshole!"

"That helps." Erwin's thumb pressed into the break to prod it, his hand withdrawing. "Thanks. Go."

Levi swallowed bile and awkwardly shifted to pass him the reins. He leapt from the horse and launched his grapple mid-air, anchoring to the titan's shoulder. Exhaustion was setting in, and it took two passes to hit the right angle.

The titan fell.

He stood in front of the remains, breathing hard, as Erwin circled the horse to retrieve him.

"Doing okay?" asked Levi, climbing into the saddle. The other titans were still pursuing them, but they were falling behind.

"Levi." Erwin leaned against his back. "Order the retreat. We're done. Find Gerard. He knows the sinkholes."

"Fuck." Levi fired a green flare north, toward the checkpoint. A smattering of green flares responded.

As they rode, Levi looked down at the arms wrapped around his waist. Erwin was still prodding that broken finger, more and more aggressively.

"Still with me, Erwin?"

"I..." The Commander coughed, and when he spoke again, his voice was a heavy wheeze. "Sorry, Levi. Getting blood...on your cape."

"Blood?" Levi glanced back, alarmed. "Where's it coming from?"

"My...mouth..."

The arms around his waist went slack as Erwin slumped against him.