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Chapter 21 – karma's a bitch
Hermione ran forward throwing one arm around Harry and the other around Draco.
"I've missed you all so much. Snape contacted me. How are you both?" She stepped back regarding them intensely. "Oh, what happened? I can see something has happened. Where's Ron, is he all right. Did something happen to Ron?" she asked with increasing panic.
"Relax, Weasel is all right." Draco responded wearily.
Hermione shot him a dark look. "Call him Ron."
Draco rolled his eyes.
"Harry?"
"It's ok Mione. We had a close encounter with Voldemort. Snape almost didn't make it but Draco saved him by…"
"Being a hero?" Draco interrupted throwing Harry a warning Look.
Harry nodded realized the Slytherin wanted to tell Hermione in his own way about the dark mark and his fathers supposed death. He didn't like keeping Lucius' condition a secret and he wanted to tell Ron and Hermione but he worried that Hermione's moral code would make her tell Draco.
"What's happening with that piece of Voldemort – did Professor Snape find a way to get it out?" she asked focusing on Harry. Her heart ached when she looked into his emerald eyes and saw the worry there.
"Not yet." He said barely above a whisper. She threw her arms around him hugging him hard. He held her tightly. "We'll talk later, why don't you spend some time with Draco."
She was about to argue thinking that Harry needed her more but something in Harry's eyes some silent message made her turn to the Slytherin.
He still bore the bored look of arrogance but there was something more in his eyes. A look that reminded her of Harry and all the losses he had suffered. Confused she looked at Harry again but he gave her the ghost of a smile and turned away. Her heart tightened. She turned back to the blond.
"Draco, what's going on?"
His silvery gaze never left hers as he swallowed heavily.
Please, Severus." Lucius' raw voice begged him for the umpteenth time.
He couldn't delay this any longer. With a heavy heart he sat on the chair by the blond man's bed.
"No Lucius. You will not see Draco. I'm sorry."
The steel grey eyes pieced his dark ones. "Why are you being so cruel? Haven't I proved myself? My loyalties no longer lie with the Dark Lord."
"I believe you."
"Then why? Will I forever remain unredeemable in your eyes? I know I did awful things to Draco I know without you he would be dead but I promise I won't ever hurt him again. He's all I have left."
Snape sighed. "And it's always about you isn't it, Lucius? Draco thinks you are dead, he is mourning you. He is moving on. Let him find peace."
Lucius reflected for a few moments. "H thinks I'm dead? Wouldn't it be better for him to know I'm alive? I can fix things between us – I need his forgiveness."
"You need? Always the selfish one. What about what Draco needs? He needs to be free of you, put you in the past. He forgave you, you made your peace, and you said your goodbyes."
"You can't stop me from seeing him once I recover." Lucius stated wearily.
Snape took a steadying breath and said softly. "Lucius you will likely never recover the way you once were. Your spine was almost snapped. I cannot repair it. You will never walk again. I am sorry." Snape relayed the news as gently as he could; he took his old friends hand and held it tightly while Lucius processed the grim news.
"NO!" he weakly protested shaking his head in disbelief. "I can heal, the healers in St. Mungos can heal me. Severus…"
Snape shut his eyes for a moment. "There is no spell, there are no potions that can fix this. Even if there were I can't take you to St. Mungo's – you would be arrested immediately"
Lucius tore his hand out of Severus'. "You're just doing this to punish me because of what I did to Draco. You're lying. This can't be true. Get out, get out!" He shouted his voice thick with emotion.
Short of drugging him again, Snape thought it was best to leave him for a while. Glancing around to ensure there was nothing Lucius could use to hurt himself with then he left the room. "I'm sorry Lucius, I would not have wished this on you no matter what you believe."
Lucius tried with all his will to move his toes everything was completely numb. "No this can't be true, I don't want to live like this." He murmured brokenly. He tried to flex his toes, he ran his hand down his leg but felt nothing.
Snape went back to his office as he reached for the handle he realized the door was open. Quietly he pulled his wand as he spelled open the door slowly. The sight of violet colour hair greeted him. "Tonks!"
"Oh Severus I was so worried about you." She threw herself into his arms.
A tight feeling crept up Snape's throat as he held her tightly. "What would I do without you?"
She disentangled herself from his tight squeeze in order to kiss him.
"I've missed you so much." She whispered.
Snape spelled the door shut.
Later as she lay in his arms he told her about everything that had happened. How he still hadn't succeeded in finding a way to free Harry of Voldemort's soul. She gasped when he revealed Draco had taken the dark mark to save him and that Lucius would never walk again.
"Would you go check on him, I don't think he can stand the sight of me right now."
When Tonks entered the room all was quiet, Lucius was sitting up against the pillow, his head in his hands, the long pale strands of hair falling forward covering his face.
She didn't care about the man she didn't trust him and she firmly believed Snape was right not to tell Draco but she couldn't remain indifferent to the pain he was in and the suffering he must be enduring. Malfoy was a proud man, to find himself so vulnerable and helpless must be a devastating prospect. He saved her life once and while his motivations weren't the purest, she felt she at least owed him some compassion.
"Lucius." He didn't respond. She moved closer and sat carefully on the edge of the bed. "Lucius."
He sighed deeply, and lowered his hands as he lifted his head. "I wondered how long it would take for Severus to send in reinforcements." Lucius spat out in a voice heavy with pain.
She ignored his words. "I'm sorry this must be an awful shock."
He laughed harshly. "Why am I even alive? I should have died. I can't live like this." He sneered. "You've always hated me and my family. You were cast out. You must be celebrating seeing me like this." His accusations were filled with bitterness.
"I don't gain any pleasure from seeing you in pain but then again I've never enjoyed seeing anyone suffer."
"Then end this for me. I made Draco suffer; he would be dead if it weren't for Severus. I deserve to die."
"Trying to provoke me into taking your life won't work, Lucius. This is all new to you right now and it feels unbearable but you will find a way to cope. I will not kill you."
"I can't do this, the pain is unbearable." Lucius covered his face again, his shoulders started shaking.
Tonks froze. Lucius crying in front of her wasn't something she had ever expected. This certainly wasn't going very well. She stopped trying to analyze and reached forward to put a comforting hand on the blond man's shoulder. He leant forward into her so she put an arm around him and patted his shoulder.
He didn't seem to relax in her embrace instead staying tense. She supposed being a Malfoy didn't make it easy to accept pity from someone like herself. Slowly he pulled away and Tonks barely registered the look of triumph in his eyes before she registered that he had just snatched her wand. Before she could react he held the tip of it to his head and whispered firmly, "Avada Kedavra."
Nothing happened.
"Lucius!' Snape shouted as he angrily stormed into the room.
Desperate Lucius tried again but Snape roughly grabbed the wand out of his hand and returned it to a stunned Tonks.
"Severus, I'm sorry, he tricked me."
Snape squeezed Tonk's shoulder but his glare was on Lucius.
"Your actions just reinforce the decision I've come to. You can't be trusted. There is no way I will let Draco know you are still alive. I fear in your current state you would use him to take pity on you and end your life. There is no way I would subject Draco to that guilt. I can't send you to St. Mungo's your past support of Voldemort would ensure you a ticket straight to Azkaban. You can't stay here; I don't have the time to deal with you. My first priority is Harry and helping him so he can defeat Voldemort. Your son also requires my attention as he is still healing from all the damage you inflicted on him. So the only solution is to send you to a rehabilitation centre. They will help you find a way to cope with your disability."
Lucius' mouth had dropped open. "This is a facility for wizards." He asked hoarsely.
Snape looked him firmly in the eye. "No if it were you'd be headed to Azkaban as I previously explained."
Lucius trembled. "NO! You can't possibly be suggesting…considering." His voice faded in horror.
"It is a muggle facility. It is obvious that Voldemort took away your powers, you won't be a threat to Muggles and they can help you…"
"NO!" he shouted. "You can't be serious. Severus please. Please don't do this. Just kill me and end this now.'
"I'm not going to kill you nor is anyone here. This will be for the best. This is the only solution."
Lucius' desperation turned nasty. "I will kill any filthy muggle that dares lays their hand on me. I may not have my powers at the moment but I can use my bare hands."
Snape responded coldly. "Well then I'll have to tell them you are dangerous and need to be kept restrained."
Tears flooded Lucius's eyes. "I know we've had our differences but Severus please please don't do this to me." His shoulders started to shake in earnest this time, his hands grasping the blanked. He gasped between sobs, "I'll do anything you want, please don't send me there."
"I'm sorry, Snape said softly. "You have left me no choice."
Unbearable despair consumed Lucius.
Tonks realized that this time there was no deceit, no manipulation. Lucius Malfoy had crumbled. Glancing at Snape she leaned forward again and put her arms around the shaking Slytherin. This time his arms wrapped around her and he clung to her as if she were an anchor in an unruly sea.
He softly sobbed into her shoulder gasping out pleas to Severus the whole time.
When the worst was over he lay back against the pillows making no effort to wipe the tears from his pale face. He just didn't care anymore. His eyes met Tonks, "I don't want to live like this.'
She put her hand on top of his. "I know. But none of us including you can predict what may happen in the future. I know it looks as awful as it possibly can right now but you don't know what could happen. Maybe this is one of those life lessons. You have always hated Muggles and now they may be the ones who set you on a path of healing."
"What does it matter? I have no magic anymore, I'm useless to the world." He responded bitterly.
"Muggles have made amazing contributions to the world without have the use of magic.' Snape offered.
Lucius refused to look at him.
"You've been given a second chance to become a better man, a man who isn't consumed by arrogance, greed and power. Hopefully a man who isn't as easily manipulated by such a dark influence as Voldemort."
He flinched slightly every time one of them used Voldemorts name.
"You have it in you to be the kind of man that Draco would be proud to call his father. You rescued me, you finally came to your senses about Voldemort and you willingly sacrificed your life in exchange for Draco's. You may have lost the use of your legs but it should be a badge of honour because your son lives." Tonks stated.
Lucius' hand came up to cover his face again. He tearfully asked, "If I do this will I get to see Draco again someday?' he still refused to make eye contact with Snape.
Internally Snape breathed a sigh of relief and flashed Tonks a look of gratitude for the words that had finally gotten through to Malfoy.
He sat down on the chair beside the bed and put his hand on Lucius' shoulder. "Let's see what happens and how you feel about it in a few months."
Lucius removed his hand and finally met Snape's eyes.
"So you will consider it?" he asked hoarsely.
A pain tore through Snape. He hadn't seen Lucius look this vulnerable since all those years ago when Voldemort had gotten a hold of him.
"I promise." Snape whispered.
Coming up: Lucius is brought to the muggle rehabilitation centre. Snape takes Harry to the Veil. Draco tells Hermione about Lucius' death and the dark mark.