For those who have read Earning Her Stripes, there may be a little repeat material in this chapter, but it is necessary for those who haven't. Hopefully I make up for this with some brand new material as well. :)

Chapter 20 – Prison Time

"How did Crystal take it?" Jasper asked one evening after Amethyst told her she'd finally sat Crystal down and had a talk with her.

"She's sad and angry. She said she wants to talk to the people at the jail and tell them what a great guy her dad is so they'll let him go. I explained it doesn't work that way and she asked why and I honestly just don't have an answer." Amethyst sighed. "I know he's a good person…but he did some bad things, didn't he?"

"This isn't as simple as black-and-white, Ames. In fact, it's a fucked up situation, especially for us. Not just you and Crystal, but I also know him on a personal level and in a couple of days, I have to go in and rat him out to the FBI."

"You said you don't even know much."

"No…but anything I do say can be used against him. The truth is he was involved in terrorist activities. Regardless of whatever life he has now or how a good a person he is, that's what they're going to focus on." Jasper sat back against the couch and crossed her arms. "Why the hell would he apply for citizenship when he was so worried about being found out?"

"I thought the same thing, but then I talked to Nadima who said she found the application in a desk drawer. Apparently he filled it out, but didn't have the nerve to actually submit it."

"Then how the fuck did they find out?"

"I have no idea."

Then Jasper remembered something Tubaz had told her after he'd gotten Alabaster in deep trouble. "Unless…when the company turned in their employee records to prove everyone there was legal to work here they somehow looked into him."

Amethyst shook her head. "That still makes no sense. All they needed to do was prove he could work – one look at his permanent resident card would clear that right up. You don't think Douchebag Diamante had anything to do with it, do you?"

"Aside from being a racist prick and insinuating that anyone who isn't white must be here illegally, no. I don't think he knew Tubaz existed, since he isn't a financial lawyer. If anything, he was probably trying to go after Abriq."

"And…you are going to try and help Tubaz, right?"

"I will, but I mean, I have to tell the truth. He was a part of that organization and part of his job was to try and keep me there."

"But in the end he helped you get out."

"And I'll tell them that. I'm sure they're interviewing more people than just me – the men who were captured with me and the soldiers and Marines who helped free us and liberate the prison."

"Do you ever talk to them? I mean, have you ever had, like, a reunion?"

Jasper laughed and shook her head. "No. I am friends with one on Facebook, but we haven't even talked directly. I know I was separated from them, but we all went through some horrible things – I'm sure even they did. They probably were beaten, whipped, starved…perhaps deprived of sleep and psychologically tortured…not exactly something we'd have a reunion over."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well…the last time I saw them…I mean before they saw me almost killed…um…"

Prison Time – Day Six

The door opened and Tubaz entered carrying camouflage fabric over his arm…her uniform, she knew. Not that she could wear it anymore. He cleared his throat, putting on that air of importance she'd come to expect, as though he were some Arabian prince instead of a no-name interpreter. "You are to follow me, Jameela."

"Jasper."

"You know that is not your name anymore. You are also to take off your clothes."

"Why?"

"Because those are the commander's orders. Now do so immediately or…or I will beat you."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to see you try, little boy." However, just because she doubted this slight, barely-adult of a kid would do something like that didn't mean one of the other men wouldn't. She removed the niqab and her gloves first, very much aware that she wore nothing underneath the black dress they'd given her. "Is the commander coming in?"

"No."

"Then why am I…"

"You are not to ask questions. Do it – do it now."

Jasper took a deep breath, pushing down the shame threatening to rise up in her as she pulled the dress off and threw it defiantly on the floor. "Now what?"

"Your shoes too."

An annoyed growl escaped the back of her throat as she slipped out of her boots and her socks. She'd been allowed a bath two days ago, but her socks hadn't been washed since she was captured and she was put off by how much they stank and wrinkled her nose. She found her ruined uniform thrown at her and she tried to forget how it had been so horribly ripped up. Her heart pounded as she saw Kawartaz at the door with his gun and she hoped he wouldn't be touching her. Another man she didn't recognize blindfolded her and took her by the arm before saying something gruffly.

"If you try anything foolish you will be shot," Tubaz translated.

Only the slightest bit of light came in through small gaps in the blindfold near her nose, but looking down she couldn't even see the floor as they walked out of the room and towards the unknown. She could tell Kawartaz's footsteps from everyone else's the way his boots stomped against the concrete floor. The man next to her walked in a more normal pace and she could hear his controlled, steady breathing. Tubaz wore sandals, which made a gentle slapping sound behind her. She had no idea what they had planned for her and relied on her training to keep calm. A door was opened and the stale, stuffy air of the compound was replaced with fresh, cooler night air. Oh God…were they going to kill her?

Heat found her face as the light beneath her blindfold flickered and she heard gentle crackles and a pop. A fire, she realized just before the blindfold was removed and she saw it roaring in a barrel. She stood in a kind of courtyard with a fence around it, devoid of any plant life. Akhram smiled at her from his place by the fire. Her men had been lined up beside her, also naked, also holding their uniforms and behind them guards were placed, guns in hand. Her first thought was that they were most definitely lined up for execution, but then as Tubaz searched through the fabric in front of her and pulled her name patch off the jacket she realized that they were going to be made to burn their uniforms. As soon as she turned her head slightly, Kawartaz hit her in the back with the butt of his gun and barked at her to stop.

Averting her gaze down, Jasper saw the flag patch on the sleeve of her jacket and then looked at the fire. Anger rose in her mind. No, she could not burn the flag and attempted to pry it free of the Velcro holding it in place.

"Thank you for volunteering to go first, Jameela." Akhram said, standing in front of her. "After all, these men should follow the example of their…" he paused to chuckled, "…leader, right?"

Her insides sank as she felt his hand on her bare back, pushing her towards the fire. Sweat broke out on her forehead from the intense heat. She thought about Kawartaz standing behind her and realized there was no way out of this. If she wanted to remain alive – to have a chance of returning home at all, much less safely, she had to comply. She recalled how days earlier Kawartaz had ripped the uniform from her and she shook in anger at what he'd done to her. She had to remain strong, especially in front of her men, so she quickly tossed the fabric into the flames and watched as it was consumed. She then stepped back and stood up tall and straight as though being naked in front of all these men and what she'd been through didn't bother her.

One by one the other soldiers dropped their uniforms into the flaming barrel and stepped back into line. Jasper saw out of the corner of her eye that Jenkins limped after being shot the night they were captured. His thigh was red and swollen despite having stitches. Worry crept into her mind; he was either going to die or lose his leg unless these terrorists were kind enough to give him some kind of antibiotics. She'd been shot too, but her vest had reduced any fatal damage to a large bruise and a small laceration in her skin, which seemed to be healing fine.

Akhram stood in front of Jenkins and took a look at his leg, then said something to the guard, which Tubaz didn't translate. The guard immediately grabbed Jenkins and led him away. Akhram surveyed Meyers and his lips curved up into an amused smile, his words interpreted this time around: "Are you perhaps of the Jewish faith?"

Oh shit…in their minds that was probably enough reason for them to kill him. When Meyers hesitated, Akhram hit him across the face and demanded an answer. She heard her fellow soldier haltingly say: "I am of a faith I wouldn't discuss in these conditions."

She held her breath as Tubaz translated certain whatever he said would be immediately followed by Akhram demanding the American's execution. However, Akhram simply nodded and moved in front of Thompson while Tubaz gave Meyers a set of folded black clothes and told him to get dressed. Slowly she realized Tubaz had not ratted him out, but instead whatever was said spared his life. Thompson was given a set of clothes as was she, however, as expected, it was similar to the clothing she'd shed back in the room. Jasper pulled on the dress, covered her face and hair with the veil and slipped on the gloves. Tubaz gave her a pair of sandals that she found pinched her toes and dug into the backs of her ankles when she put them on as they were at least a size too small and she would put her boots back on once she returned to the small room.

Akhram stroked her cheek through the fabric. "I will come see you later, Jameela."

Jasper found herself blindfolded again and could tell she was with Kawartaz from the rough way she was handled and how large his hands were. His boots stomped next to her and following them was the hurried slapping of sandals trying to keep up. Kawartaz undid the fabric around her eyes and shoved her away from him. She had been led back to the small room that would become her world for several weeks to come.

Now that she could see again, she sat on the bed and sighed as the thought of Akhram touching her…of him having sex with her…disgusted her. Knowing it wouldn't be long before he came in, she slipped the sandals off and wiggled her aching toes.

Tubaz held something out to her. "Take this."

She accepted the tan strip of fabric with her last name printed on it. Just holding the name patch gave her back some sense of self. "Thank you. What did you say to Akhram?"

"What do you mean?"

"About Meyers – you know he refused to answer the question because to do so would mean he would die, but you didn't let that happen. Why?"

"The commander wants to convert them and train them to be soldiers for our cause. To kill him would have been a waste, so I told the commander that…I don't know how to say in English…but that it is a medical procedure sometimes done without religious reasons."

Jasper nodded slowly. "Thank you for helping him." After he left, she remembered the training that said if she was captured to try and develop a rapport with those who held her. Obviously that was not going to happen with Kawartaz and whoever guarded her during the day stayed outside the room. She may be able to manipulate Akhram to an extent, but it was much more likely he'd turn it around to get to her on a psychological and emotional level so she needed to proceed with caution in that plan. However, if there was one person she could potentially get close to and get help from, her best bet was Tubaz.

Prison Time – Day Ten

She had been talking with Tubaz for the past few days to try and get to know him. She'd asked him about sports to which he replied he wasn't much into them, but occasionally joined in a soccer game with some of the men in the courtyard. Music, she found, he liked. "But older music," he'd explained. "I like Simon and Garfunkel and Billy Joel. I don't know why, but I have never liked The Beatles."

She'd agreed. "Overrated."

"Abida likes Taylor Swift."

"Who?"

"She is a young singer – new, I think."

Jasper rolled her eyes. "I know who Taylor Swift is. Who is Abida?"

"Uh…" Tubaz's cheeks turned red and his attention went back to the notebook he had in front of him. "Just a girl…I…know."

She honestly found his reaction kind of cute. Teenagers all over the world were the same, she guessed, recalling the crushes she'd had back in high school. Sergeant Cordero's face flashed in her mind and she smiled; okay, she had one now too and she only hoped she'd be free someday to pursue a relationship with him. Thinking of him brought to mind her men still being held captive somewhere in this prison. "How are the other soldiers doing? How is Jenkins?"

"The two healthy ones are well. I am working on converting them to Islam, as I am with you…"

Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "Yeah, good luck."

He nodded. "They are resistant, but eventually I believe they will see this is best. The injured one had a surgery; he is recovering. He said your Army gives money for school. Is this true?"

"Yes."

"Have you been to college?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too stupid for that nonsense."

"I do not believe that, Jameela. You are learning Arabic well. Clearly you are smart." He tapped his pencil against the pages. "I would like to go to college. I have been saving money from working, but it is very expensive."

"It is." She paused for a moment. "May I see my men to verify myself they're okay?"

His answer came quickly. "No. You are to be kept separate."

"I am their sergeant. I am resp…"

"You are not. Not here. When they are ready to fight for our side, Akhram will be their commander. You are a woman and you are his…" He thought for a moment and said a word in Arabic she didn't recognize, but while it wasn't 'whore', she knew it was something along those lines.

After he'd left for the afternoon, she paced the room. She had to see them. No matter what anyone said, she was still a soldier. She opened the door a crack and the guard turned his head to look at her. He said something and she was certain it was 'stay inside'.

They thought she was a whore, so she'd use it to her advantage. "I just need to slip out for one moment…" Jasper placed a hand on his shoulder and ran it down his arm.

She was on her back in an instant, her nose bleeding having been hit in the face with the butt of the guard's gun. He yelled at her and slammed the door shut. Well, her feminine wiles clearly were not the way out of this situation. As time passed, she went to the bathroom to wash her face and wash the blood out of the niqab, hanging it over a chair to dry. When Kawartaz took over guarding her, he gestured to her uncovered face and hair and said something while shaking his head. She supposed she could cover up with her spare one, but she hated having it on. It wasn't long before Akhram entered the room holding a leather switch. "Jameela, I understand you tried to escape today."

She watched as Tubaz closed the door behind them. "I want to see my men."

"No. They are not your concern anymore. Your only concern is to please me and one thing that pleases me is obedience. I've been patient, but I will have to punish you for this." He ran his free hand along the switch. "Take off your dress."

Jasper shook her head. "I promise…I won't…"

He brought the switch down on her leg causing her to cry out in pain. "DO IT NOW!"

She didn't have to be told again as she removed her dress with trembling hands and lay down on the bed. Jasper used a pillow to muffle her screams as he hit her ten times across the back leaving her skin throbbing. She could feel a trickle of something slide down her side and knew he'd struck her so hard she was bleeding. Akhram grabbed her hair and turned her head so she had no choice but to look at him.

"I was gentle this time," he told her. "Next time, I will hit you harder." She attempted to escape his grasp, but he leaned in closer and kissed her cheek. "I will be back tonight, Jameela."

Jasper suppressed the urge to cry as they left her alone with Kawartaz. She didn't want him to know how much this bothered her, but her back still stung. The door opened and he raised his gun but then lowered it as a figure in a black outfit similar to the one she'd been given entered with a tray of food. Usually Tubaz brought her dinner, but she guessed he was busy. At first Jasper wondered if this woman was also a prisoner, but as she cautiously walked closer to the bed it was obvious she was wearing eye makeup. Jasper had met Akhram's sister, Marjina, and the lack of wrinkles around the eyes told her this was someone else. In fact, the smooth skin and short stature told her this was someone young…one of his daughters, she guessed, or perhaps the wife of one of his men. She knelt down and slowly reached out a hand toward Jasper's hair. "I will not hurt you."

"You…you speak English?"

"Some. Tubaz teach me. You are Jameela?"

She wanted to tell her the truth, but clearly everyone here knew her by that name and the girl seemed nice enough. "Yeah."

"I bring medicine for you." She ran off and Jasper was alone for quite a while, starting to wonder if she would ever be back when she returned with a jar of ointment. "This will help."

The girl said something to Kawartaz who turned around and faced the wall. If he was listening to her then she had to be related to Akhram somehow. She peeled her gloves off and moved the veil down under her chin. In addition to the eye makeup, she wore lip gloss but was naturally cute and didn't really need makeup. She was somewhere around fifteen or sixteen, Jasper guessed. She opened the jar and scooped up some of the ointment with her fingers. "Maybe hurt but then feel better. Will help heal."

Jasper winced as the girl spread the medicine on her wounds, though she was gentle about it. "Am I bleeding?"

"A little. Will hurt a few days."

She wasn't sure what was in the ointment but her skin tingled with a cooling effect and once the girl's hands left her, her back felt a lot better. "Thank you."

"You get dressed." She smiled and headed to the bathroom to wash her hands.

Jasper slid her dress back on and fixed her niqab around her face and head, pulling her own gloves on when Akhram came into the room, Tubaz naturally following behind him. "Good evening, Jameela. I thought we might eat before I lay with you again."

The girl came out of the bathroom pulling her gloves on, face still uncovered and gasped a little when she saw the men. "Baba! Tubaz!" Her cheeks turned pink as she adjusted the scarf to veil herself.

"Abida," Akhram addressed her before saying something Jasper didn't understand.

Jasper felt the corner of her mouth turn up. So, this was Abida. Something told her she'd intentionally left her face uncovered for Tubaz to get a glimpse of. She watched as Abida hugged her father and noticed how gently he kissed her forehead and how kindly he spoke to her. She said something and Akhram smiled…not a cruel or amused smile Jasper had become accustomed to, but a genuine grin of happiness. He was almost like a completely different person, but once he sent her off, he looked at Jasper with displeasure again. "Why aren't you at the table already?"

She quickly took a seat and waited for him to quickly pray before reaching for a piece of flatbread. "Your daughter seems nice."

"She is a good girl. Jameela, do you not give thanks before you eat? That is very disrespectful to Allah."

"I gave silent thanks." She actually hadn't. It was a little hard to feel thankful for anything with the situation she was in.

"I will have Tubaz teach you the proper prayer to say before you eat."

Jasper simply nodded. In her mind, she thought about how he'd treated Abida with such adoration. So, he clearly didn't hate all women; he obviously loved his daughters. However, those same hands that had squeezed the girl's shoulder so gently had been used to hurt Jasper. His lips, which had kissed Abida's forehead with love, had said harsh and hateful things. And later, as she lay in bed with Akhram's weight on top of her, the part of her named Jameela hoped that someday he'd treat her with the same love and care.

Present Day

Laying in bed that night, she wondered what had happened to Abida. She searched Facebook but came up with nothing. Of course, she would have written her name in Arabic and if she was married, her last name would have changed. Jasper had always said she'd never change her name – not in a million years would she part with the last name she'd grown up with, the one that connected her to her family. Bismuth hadn't pressured her to do so – he didn't have to – as soon as he'd proposed, she fell right into tradition and was happy to take his name. If she had to get married now, would she do it? Considering her last name was still Cordero that would be a little awkward probably for her new husband. What if he had a ridiculous last name? 'Jasper Universe' popped into her head and she laughed. That sounded silly, not quite as silly as Abida Abadi and she realized full well why Akhram's daughter would probably change her name.

She noticed a message notification and groaned when she saw she'd been added to a group chat. Usually these were spam that she'd simply ignore, but her heart pounded when she saw the three other members: Jack Thompson, Sam Meyers, Matt Jenkins. She scrolled up to the beginning of the conversation and started reading:

Thompson: Were any of you contacted by the FBI about when we were captured?

Meyers: Yes.

Meyers: I would have liked to leave that in the past.

Thompson: I've forgiven them and moved on.

Thompson: Still hard to talk about sometimes though.

Meyers: Wish I was that well adjusted. Moved on, sure – forgiven, not gonna happen.

Jenkins: Sorry about that, but when I found out one of those fuckers was in this country, I had to report it.

Meyers: You? And how?

Jenkins: I work for INS in Empire City. He came through our system when we were investigating a company on hiring illegal aliens. They didn't, but they did unknowingly hire a terrorist.

Jenkins: You all can forgive, but after they cost me my leg, I'm not letting one of them stay here.

Jenkins: Never should have gotten in to begin with.

Jenkins: Like who the fuck made that decision?

Thompson: I'm sensing a lot of anger and I know it's not in everyone's nature to forgive, but perhaps think about the fact that he may have changed.

Thompson: It's the kid, right – the interpreter? He seemed friendly enough.

Meyers: A lot of them seemed 'friendly enough' – they were still terrorists.

Thompson: We had a lot of discussions about religion while I was there.

Thompson: Never succeeded in converting me, but I think that experience was what made me want to be a chaplain. Jesus said love thy neighbor and I plan to help him any way I can while still telling the truth.

Jenkins: The truth is he's scum and shouldn't be here. That's the truth.

Meyers: I told it like it was – the good, bad and the ugly.

Meyers: I don't plan to attend the trial (I'm all the way in Cali anyway) and I don't plan on reliving that when it took so much for me to put it in the past.

Meyers: Where it belongs.

-Sam Meyers has left the conversation-

Jenkins: Yeah, I think you're on your own here, man.

Thompson: I'm still hoping Palamo will help.

Thompson: Cordero, sorry.

-Jasper Cordero has left the conversation-

Jasper had no desire to bring up anything she'd gone through in a group chat. She was dreading even speaking to the FBI about it and wondered exactly how personal they would get. She clicked off her phone and connected it to the charger on her nightstand. There was one other reason she'd left the chat – she didn't trust herself not to go off on Jenkins. On one hand, she understood where he was coming from – terrible things had been done to him and had altered him forever, both mentally and physically. However, Tubaz had not shot him, nor had he cut off his leg. She really didn't know how much contact they'd had, but clearly they'd at least talked a bit. Jasper thought about Crystal and anger rose in her mind. Jenkins had no idea about the life Tubaz had now and had taken action against him that could alter the lives of his wife and his children. Part of her wanted to track him down and punch him.

Jasper's thoughts turned to the two months that had stretched seemingly unending ahead of her all those years ago. She had held on as long as she could…truly believed she could remain strong and not let the terrorists get to her. However, they were good at what they did – most of them heartless and cruel and it wasn't long at all before they broke her.

Prison Time – Day Forty-Six

Jasper rubbed her aching mouth and her tongue probed the area where they'd pulled a tooth as punishment for her yelling at Akhram and calling him all sorts of filthy names. Thankfully it was a back one though she still missed it and the way they'd held her down and forced her mouth open was still fresh in her mind. She swore she could still taste the stinging bitterness of rust on the pliers.

"If you speak to me like that again, next time it will be a front tooth…a third time and it will be your tongue," Akhram had warned.

She could tell it was now evening from the position of the shadows on the wall and how the heat was not as stifling as it had been earlier. Jasper had already written in her small journal and amused herself by doing pushups, sit-ups and squats. There was not a lot of room for cardio whatsoever, but she could at least keep up her strength. Sometime in the afternoon, Abida arrived with a bucket of soapy water and a brush. "You wash," she said pointing to the floor and promptly leaving.

It was something to do, but she detested the bucket of water – the same kind her head had been forced under. She hadn't had a bath in several days and was thankful that at least she could use the bidet by the squat toilet to wash up after Jameela was done with her…duties. She rolled up the sleeves of her dress and pulled up the hem to above her knees, tying it so she didn't get wet.

It didn't take long since the room was so tiny and she fudged it by not moving or washing under the bed, but it still left her knees red and irritated by the time she dumped the excess water down the drain of the shower. She considered simply using it. Filling the washing bucket and at least bathing a little, but if Akhram found out…as he likely would realize how clean she was…she'd be in huge trouble. She feared the water now and quickly left the bathroom, righting her dress and waiting.

Jasper was never sure if she'd be fed or fucked first – it largely depended on Akhram's mood. Her stomach rumbled and she hoped the color tonight would be green. It had been last night.

'I like when he holds me,' Jameela said.

Jasper couldn't even say that. She hated his touch – even gentle ones made her sick. She put a hand to her stomach. Was it the thought of him making her queasy or was it that she realized just yesterday the moon had completed its cycle and hers had fallen out of sync? "You can like it all you want…I'll be sitting at the table."

What if he was in a bad mood? God…she hated that…it hurt and sometimes she'd bleed. As much as she separated herself from Jameela, she was most certainly aware of what was happening to her body.

Footsteps stomping down the hall alerted her that someone was coming and she sat on the edge of the bed. Already she knew it was not going to be a green night as Akhram flung the door open and it banged against the wall loudly. Kawartaz was following behind him while Tubaz stood by the door and said simply and unemotionally: "Black."

They had never discussed 'black' but before she could ask she was on the floor, her cheek exploding with pain. Before she could even register what had happened, Akhram kicked her forcefully in the arm. He was ranting and Jasper, having hit her head, didn't want to try and understand it. What was there to understand? He was angry. He was beating her. What else was new?

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him slam his knife down on the table, his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed heavily.

Kawartaz stood at the table nearby. "Commander, our men fought bravely, but…the Americans…"

"Those goddamn American…how did they know?!" Akhram turned to her with murderous rage in his eyes and picked up a chair.

She realized, as her heart pounded, that 'black' meant she may die tonight. In a desperate attempt to escape, she tried to crawl under the table, but was stopped by the chair cracking down on her back. Her chest hit the floor, but she kept moving toward the shelter of the table. She felt the wood come down hard again, hearing another crack and she wasn't sure if it was part of the chair or one of her ribs. The chair clattered on the floor next to her and she found only a second to breathe before Akhram grabbed her arms and turned her over, tugging at her dress. Her eyes fixed on a spot above her on the ceiling. 'Okay, Jameela…'

'I've never seen him this bad.'

'Switch with me.'

'I'm scared.'

'Jameela!'

'No.'

Jasper attempted to get his weight off of her. Akhram grabbed her wrists but she tried to push him away. He was not stronger than her; Jameela simply let him do it, but Jasper was not going to let this happen. He punched her in the face and the fabric over her nose and mouth almost immediately dampened. She tasted blood. Still, she tried to slide out from under him and wrench out of his grasp.

"Kawartaz!" he barked simply.

Shit. The guard was over her in about two steps. He knelt down, grabbed her wrists and held them against the floor. He was not an attractive man and his ugly mug now blocked the spot on the ceiling. Her stomach turned cold as she felt Akhram's hands on her thighs. If she looked down, she'd see him. She didn't want to see anything, to know anything. 'Jameela…please…'

Her alter ego sat on the bed in her mind, hands clasped and didn't even respond.

Jasper shut her eyes against the pain and tried to imagine she was anywhere else. The fabric over her nose and mouth was yanked down and Akhram's long fingers grabbed her face. "What, Jameela? You don't want to look at me?"

She attempted to turn her head away. "It's bad enough I can smell you."

He moved his fingers pressing against the side of her head right by her ear. "Open your eyes or I break your jaw."

What choice did she have? She hesitated but they flew open and she cried out in pain as Kawartaz squeezed her wrists so hard she thought they would break and she was forced to face her nightmare.

She lay there in agony after Akhram left. Kawartaz released her wrists and stood, towering over her, his lips twisted up in a cruel smile. "You think you are so tough, but we will beat that out of you."

Jasper struggled to get up, grabbing onto a chair to hoist herself in a standing position. "I am a soldier…you won't beat the fight out of me."

"You are a woman and we are teaching you your place."

"My place is back with my people – in our Army – to rid the world of scum like you." She moved toward the bathroom, but he took hold of her arm. "Let me go." She desperately wanted to wash away the stink of what had been done to her.

But he didn't. Instead, he slammed her violently onto the table, her cheek pressed against the wood. One hand held her down by the back of the neck while the other pulled at the fabric of her dress. There was no use struggling. She knew the reason Kawartaz guarded her was because he was one of the few men stronger than she was. He was ruthless and uncaring and it would be an idiot move to fight back. Unless…unless she had a weapon…unless Akhram had carelessly left his knife on the table when he stormed out still in a rage.

She slid her hand toward it slowly then stopped as an icy fear engulfed her. Her stomach sank and her heart skipped in terror. Akhram never went around without that knife…as soon as he realized it was missing… "Stop! You have to stop now!"

Kawartaz covered her mouth. "He might enjoy screaming but I like you SILENT!"

The table shuddered beneath her, its legs scraping the floor and all she could do was hope Kawartaz finished before Akhram came back for his knife. It may have been only seconds or several minutes before she heard the door open and she shut her eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Akhram roared.

Kawartaz immediately moved away from her and she slid to the floor. Jasper moved her scarf, covering the lower part of her face. She wanted nothing more than to be invisible in this moment.

"It's not my fault, Commander. She seduced me."

What could she say that wouldn't be twisted around? What could she do to make them stop? Akhram swiped his knife off the table and unsheathed it, holding the tip of it under her chin. "Was I not enough, you whore? Do I have to cut you up again, huh?" He removed the knife, nicking her flesh and tearing the fabric. "You know, most men wouldn't waste time on a whore like you. I was generous and took you in. I've treated you well, tried to make a proper woman – a wife – out of you. However, you seduce my men…half the time, I come in here and you are not covered up as you should be. You continue to fight me. Perhaps I should give you what you want then you will see how good I am to you. Then you will be loyal to me, as you should be." He turned to Kawartaz. "Go ahead and finish what you started."

Akhram affixed his knife to his belt once again and sat in a chair. He laughed and turned his head to look at Tubaz who was standing silently by the door, eyes averted. "You want to join in too?"

"No thank you, Commander. With all due respect, is this a good idea?"

"Excuse me?"

"If she is pregnant, then treating her in such a fashion could cause her to lose the child."

"If she's been sleeping around with my men, how do I know it is even mine?"

Kawartaz pushed Jasper to the floor. "I don't fuck her in a way that will get her pregnant."

That was not entirely the case…however, he was not known for being careful or kind and Jasper retreated to that place in her mind, sitting next to Jameela on the bed. 'I can't…I can't do it…'

Jameela was crying into her gloved hands. 'He scares me. I hate him.'

It was the only time they were ever together, when she retreated so deep into her mind as not to feel the pain as Kawartaz finished and Akhram once again tried to take over but quickly found he couldn't perform a second time. It was the first time she didn't raise her hands to fend off the blows he landed. What was the point? No matter what she did or said, they would twist it to make it her own fault. Deep down, she knew she'd done nothing wrong. She knew they were just cruel. Even further in the darkest corner of her mind, she wished they would just kill her already. Maybe she'd spare them the gratification. Maybe once they were gone, she could undo the scarf, find someplace to tie it up – perhaps in the bathroom – and hang herself.

They were gone – Akhram and Tubaz – they had left long before she ever came back to her senses, when her vision cleared and she blinked, looking up at the ceiling…at that spot again. She turned her head, glimpsing Kawartaz at his post by the door. Her entire body screamed in pain as she sat up and looked out the window at the glowing moon. Food had somehow appeared on the table, but she was no longer hungry. She hobbled over to the window and knelt down, undoing her niqab and covering only her head with it.

It felt fake. She needed to do this as herself…not that she'd done this in a long time, but in a situation like this, she felt she had no other options. If no one else was on her side…He was. He had to be. She folded her hands together and looked out the window at the dark sky, imagining the stars as the eyes of heaven. "Hey, it's me…Jasper, but…You knew that already. I don't know what to do…I'm in a dire situation and I could really use some help. I'm about to lose all hope here, so…if You could just send me…I don't know…some little miracle…a sign…that I'm supposed to go on…it would help."

Slowly, she made her way to the bathroom where she used the squat toilet and washed off as best she could. She was bleeding, but it was from trauma. She recalled the moon in her mind, how full it had been when she'd first been confined to this room, how it waxed and waned and now was cycling back into darkness. She marveled at its consistency…as her body should have been constant…but wasn't.

Jasper woke up the next morning feeling so nauseated she couldn't finish her breakfast. She managed a few bites, tearing apart the flatbread, which felt somewhat soothing on her stomach.

"Kawartaz said you were talking to yourself last night," Tubaz said. "He expressed concern to the commander that you are losing your mind."

"Tell the commander I was not talking to myself; I was praying."

"Prayer is good. It brings peace."

"I won't have peace until I'm home. Have you talked to anyone yet?"

"You must be patient. I am doing all I can."

Jasper licked her lips wincing as her tongue ran across an area split by Akhram's fist. "You saw what they did to me…he could have killed me."

"I will speak with someone today who might be able to help. If I can, I'll try to let you know somehow that everything will be okay." Tubaz noticed her placing a half-eaten piece of flatbread back on the plate. "You have not finished eating."

"I'm not very hungry."

The queasiness subsided by the time the evening sun painted long shadows across the room and Akhram joined her for dinner. He seemed to be in a decent mood – Tubaz had greeted her with 'yellow' today, so she kept her guard up.

"I have a surprise for you, Jameela." Akhram produced a familiar brown bag from his pocket and it crinkled as he opened it. "You don't really deserve this. You know that, right? Perhaps you think I beat you too hard last night, but you need to learn some obedience. I expect you to stop throwing yourself at my men and perhaps you will have more treats like this. Hold out your hand, Jameela."

She did so, having already removed her gloves to eat dinner and watched as he poured about eight small pieces of colorful candy into her palm. She pressed her lips together remembering an exchange that seemed like another lifetime ago when Sergeant Cordero offered her the exact same candy. When she'd refused, he'd laughed and said: "What? Not into deep, dark chocolate?"

No, that life belonged to Jasper Palamo and she didn't exist here. She was confined to a table, to chairs, a bed…a small room…in the corner of Jameela's mind who now sat next to a man she'd convinced herself she loved. The smell of chocolate teased her nose and she smiled at the colorful rainbow in her hand. "Thank you. I don't deserve such generosity."

Akhram plucked one of the M&M's from her palm and gently placed it in her mouth before cupping her still-bruised cheek gently. "May I lay with you tonight, Jameela?"

The candy coating cracked and the chocolate melted over her tongue, bringing with it a taste of home she could only remember through the person she used to be. "Yes."

It was only later, after Jameela was done in bed that Jasper got a good look at the wrapper and saw the American flag on the back. These were not locally produced or even imported or there would have been Arabic writing somewhere on the bag. She realized it had to have come from someone in the military because M&M's were often sent to the troops. She poured out the candy and peeled open the wrapper looking for some kind of hidden message, but there wasn't one. However, she had a feeling she knew where Akhram had gotten it and that meant Tubaz had succeeded at contacting the Army.

Prison Time – Day Fifty-One

She couldn't even keep water down. Perhaps she should stop drinking the water. Surveying her face in the mirror, she noticed the black eye Akhram had given her the night before when she'd pushed him away for grabbing her breasts. She hadn't meant to, but they hurt and he'd quickly and painfully reminded her that she belonged to him. She considered lying down but worried that would make her feel worse. Jasper sat at the table, resting her head in her hands and taking deep breaths waiting for the nausea to pass.

The door opened and she shook her head. She felt bad because she'd sent him away the last three days due to not feeling well. "Tubaz, I don't want…" Jasper looked up to see a woman in black clothes setting a tray down on the table. "Oh…Marjina?"

"Hello, Jasper. Or, I suppose your name is Jameela now."

The smell of food found Jasper's nose and her stomach rebelled. She ran to the bathroom and threw up water and bile. She washed out her mouth at the sink. Marjina entered and rubbed her back soothingly. Jasper took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her stomach. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing's wrong with you, dear. I brought you some crackers with your breakfast – they help. At least they did for me. I have three of my own."

"Three what?"

"Children." She made a motion as though she were rocking a baby.

Jasper froze, her heart pounding. She'd suspected it, but had hoped it was a virus or stress or any other explanation besides what was obviously happening. She steadied herself on the counter, shaking. "I'm…I'm…"

"Pregnant? I believe so. After all, when you've been here two months and Akhram says he's been with you every night, what else could it be? You haven't had your moon, have you?"

Her mind went fuzzy trying to comprehend this news. She could no longer deny it…she was carrying Akhram's child. She put a hand to her stomach. "No, not since I came here."

"That's usually your first clue, but you're a first time mother, too, so it can be harder to know the first time." Marjina put an arm around her and led her to the table, sitting with her and squeezing her hand.

Jasper kept her gaze on the table. She had no sense of time other than the moon. She had been here close to two months, which meant it was now August. Her baby would be born in March sometime. She recalled Akhram saying his wife had died in childbirth and panic rose in her. This child was conceived through rape…it didn't matter what Jameela thought…she and Jasper were one in the same and Jasper was the one who always retreated because she couldn't stand what was happening to her body. Inwardly, Jameela was pleased, but Jasper was terrified and hoped she'd be rescued in time to take care of it.

'Why would you do that?' Jameela asked.

'Why wouldn't I?' Well, she still had some guilt over her decision last time. Regret, no – it had to be done, but she had always hoped she'd never had to make that choice. Then, she realized: she had a choice. She could have this baby, but now she definitely had to find a way to escape and before she got heavy, before she started to show. She needed to give birth to this child in freedom and preferably in a modern hospital in case there were complications. The thought of giving birth in this small room, in the same bed where Akhram had repeatedly forced himself on her was overwhelming. Jasper pushed the tray of food away from her as her throat constricted. She needed to get out of here.

"You need to eat, Jameela. You need to keep up your strength even though you feel sick."

There was an unfamiliar prickling behind her eyes as she took in her surroundings and felt Marjina place a comforting hand on her back. Perhaps Akhram's sister was a nice enough person, but in that moment she missed her family and wished it was her mother sitting with her. Tears flooded her eyes and before she knew it, she was sobbing.

Marjina rubbed her back and squeezed her hand. "Emotions during this time can be very confusing."

"It's not confusing! I want to go home!" She didn't care if she sounded like a child.

"This is your home now. Akhram is planning to marry you; we will be sisters."

Her immediate thought was of Amethyst and how Marjina could never be her sister. "I already have a sister! And a home! I can't marry him!"

Her eyes widened in shock. "You must; it would be shameful not to with you in this condition. There, there, calm down, Jasper. You will be okay. It's a lot to take in now, but you will be so happy with him."

She would be happy? Really? With her captor? With the man who beat her when she didn't do exactly as he wanted? With Akhram who kept her confined to this tiny room for two months? In this country where she had no rights, no freedom? Jasper cried even harder. She was powerless to stop this and, in that moment, lost all hope. Tubaz had not said a word about her getting out. The Army was not coming. She would never see her family again; he would never let her go.

Akhram came bursting into the room. "What is this? Why is she crying?"

"It's an emotional time," his sister told him.

"So, she is pregnant?" The tone of his voice made it evident he'd suspected this.

Marjina got up and they talked softly for a few moments before both of them sat on either side of her. Akhram stroked her back. "I am overjoyed, Jameela! What a blessing!"

"Yes…" she said before taking a gulp of air. "A great…miracle…" This is NOT what she'd meant when she'd asked God for a 'little miracle'. But what did she think would happen? That she magically wouldn't get pregnant?

"Why are you sad? This is happy news. We will have a strong son together."

The only thing she could do was to retreat to the table in her mind and let Jameela take her place for the time being. She couldn't; she just couldn't. Jameela wiped away the tears and smiled. "I'm crying because I'm happy. We're going to have a baby."

He kissed her cheek. "I have to tend to my duties, but I have a marvelous surprise coming up for you. Now, you eat breakfast."

"Yes," Marjina pushed the tray closer to her. "Every bite. Your baby needs the nutrition too."

Jameela pushed down the feelings of queasiness and picked up a cracker biting into it. She put a hand to her stomach and smiled again. She and Akhram were going to have a baby.

And Jasper was trapped.