Chapter Twenty-One:
"Regrets collect like old friends, here to relive your darkest moments." - Florence and the Machine
The sun crested over the horizon. Bright pinks and oranges slowly breaking through the inky blackness. Annell cradled a large black over-sized mug in her hands. The warmth of the hot coffee seeping through the ceramic and warming her fingers. Peering out the open horizontal plastic blinds, Annell sighed. She leaned heavily against the frame of the large picture window, she turned her head ever so slightly to look over her shoulder. The low snore that came from the body stretched across her bed, a sheet half hazardly wrapped around his waist. Annell took a deep measured breath as she padded acrossthe hardwood. Pausing for only a minute at the of the bed, she glanced down at Tig, sleeping rather peacefully. The gentle rise and fall o his chest. Annell reached down a tuck a lock of curly hair away from his forehead.
Turning on the bright florescent bathroom lights. Annell turned the chrome fixtures until hot water and steam erupted from the showerhead on the glass-lined shower stall. Taking another sip of her bitter drink, she laid the mug on the counter and grabbed a large fluffy black towel from the linen closet. She stepped into the stall, allowing the hot water to cascade over her body. Refreshing and soothing; as it trickled down her body. It seemed to wash away everything. Everything; all the filth and inequity, were gone. She was completely bare, clean.
Her eyes hurt; more like the sockets. She hadn't slept a wink. If she was honest with herself; she hadn't slept in days. She never wanted to leave the soothing heat that the water offered. She didn't want to face another soul. Perhaps one other. Maybe she could pull Tig into her plan of living in the shower. Normally such a strange thought would have made her smile, but she found it hard. Hard to smile; hard to feel much of anything. She cut the water off, her skin raising into goose bumps as she rubbed her skin viciously with the towel.
Slipping into ratty yet comfortable clothes, she pulled tight yoga pants on and slipped a gray cardigan sweater over the old wife beater. Her hair still wet, she found it hard to care about her appearance today. Her bare feet slapped audibly against the cold hardwood as she walked over to the bed. Cool blue eyes trained in on the man snoring in her bed. A small smirk tugged at her lips, as her stomach fluttered. He made her smile.
A trembling hand reached out, her fingertips dragging over the skin of his back. Pushing down a bit rougher she slipped her hand up to his shoulder, gripping it firmly.
"Tig?" She breathed, her voice soft and tentative. "Tig?" A grunt came from his lips, as he turned his head to the side, facing his companion. His blue hauntingly troubled eyes gazed up at Annell. His lips stretching into a smile.
"Hey, doll." He voice was hoarse with sleep, and his eyes still hazy.
"I didn't want to bother you," Annell's voice was strangely kind and sweet. As she slid her hand up to touch his cheek, her fingers brushing some of the wild strands of hair from his face. "I'm going to make coffee. The boys will be here any minute... I just wanted to let you know...I didn't want you waking up alone." She supplied. As Tig chuckled.
"Again?" He chuckled. Annell messaged her eyes with her fingertips, her mind still in some kind of dense foggy haze.
"Hmm?" She managed to question, her eyes still sore and a mild ache assaulting her head. She assumed from all the tears, she had never been much for crying. Crying was for the weak but on the rare occasion that she did, it always seemed to leave her head pounding. Annell yelped as a lean yet muscled arm snaked around her waist, pulling her on top of him . Tig smirked wickedly. His hands snaking down her body to grab two handfuls of her soft round bottom, giving each cheek a hard almost painful squeeze.
"You didn't want me waking up alone, again." Annell rolled her eyes, her head falling forward into the crook of Tig's neck. She breathed deeply through her nostrils, the strong scent of gasoline, cigarette and something else she still had not managed to her finger on yet. She didn't even want to move. Ever. "You okay; doll?" Tig's voice dropped a bit, as his large hands rubbed fiercely up and down her back. Annell nodded silently into the warm crevice of his neck.
"I don't want to get up." Annell's muffled voice whined. "Can I just stay here? "
Annell sat at the breakfast bar; having her, fifth, cup of coffee. A half-smoked cigarette dangling from her lips as she reached across the granite counter top, slim fingers curling around the neck of the Jameson bottle next to the decorative fruit bowl in the center. Holding it, she eyed the bottle, she hesitated. Chewing at her bottom lip; before breathing out a soft 'Fuck it' and unscrewing the cap and splashing a decent amount into the hot steaming liquid.
The the bright morning glare; the haze of sleep gone, the world seemed a whole lot darker somehow. Darker and yet, somehow lighter at the same time. She had a man in her bed, a man she..enjoyed being around. Someone she needed and that was scary in itself. She should not need anyone. It felt natural; she felt safe when she was with Tig and while she knew she wasn't, that was..okay..with her. She, of course, was dangerous in her own right.
She hadn't slept much last night. There of course had been the post-orgasmic bliss that washed over her tired, and weary body but it was short lived. Wrapped up, that warm arm pressed against her belly, as Tig pulled her against him, his facial hair tickling her bare shoulder as he snored. She store straight ahead; her mind a jumbled mess. A flurry of thoughts, feelings and possible solutions. The solutions of course were few and far between. Mostly, she had the image of Katerina and the baby Oxanna in her head. Katerina; crying the tears of a grieving widow, screaming, telling her that this was all her fault and to certain extent - it was. What was she doing? Annell knew she had blood staining her hands. There had never been a time that she did not have blood on her hands. Even as a child; when she didn't understand. Her livelihood; the luxuries of her life, she never wanted for anything...That was all paid for with the blood of others, on the backs of others.
'At the end of the day you have to be able to live with yourself ' and the worse things got, the more blood was shed, the more responsibility that got piled on her shoulders, she wasn't sure that she could. Living with herself was becoming hard. As cliched as it sounded: there were times, when she looked in the mirror, that she did not recognize the woman looking back at her.
She straightened as the sounds of the side garage door slamming shut and bickering voices drifted into the kitchen. Annell sucked in a loud breath and balled up the sleeves of her cardigan, dabbing the fabric across the flesh of her cheeks with the heel of her hands. She took a big sip of the bitter liquid; grimacing as the Jameson burned it's way down her throat and settling uncomfortably in her empty stomach. Annell watched; a small smile tugging at her lips as Demetri and Simon stalked into the kitchen, bickering playfully as Demetri shoved Simon playfully into the far wall. Demetri's still wet blonde hair was sticking out in every direction. Nikolai and Sasha behind the rowdy pair had solemn faces.
Sasha skirted past the squabbling pair, pulling out a stool next to Annell and took a seat. Groaning in pain as he sat down. Sasha was 'old school'. Only a few years younger than her own father; he was aging rapidly and deteriorating even faster. The fair skin of his face was heavily wrinkled and his cheeks jowled; he peered at her sideways through half lidded wrinkled eyes. Clasping his winkled, liver spotted hands in front of him on the counter. He sighed.
"It's arthritis. It kills me on wet days." He stretched out a long, black dress pant clad leg, bending it at the knee with a hiss. Annell shrugged, but nodded. Her eyes watched Nikolai out of the corners of her eye. As Simon and Demetri settled down taking their own seats at the breakfast bar across from Sasha and Annell, Nikolai hung back. Keeping a strange aloof distance between them, all of them. Leaning against the far wall of the kitchen, his arms cross over his chest.
"You gonna take a seat?" Simon said gruffly, sliding off his stool Simon ran this long thick fingers through his cropped dark hair. His eyebrow shooting towards his hairline as his eyes caught Annell's. The silent question of 'What is wrong with him?' passing between the two. Annell shrugged subtly as Simon crossed the kitchen, making himself at home. He went straight to the cabinets, grabbing coffee mugs. He set them down in front of the other men, leaving an extra one at the end of the bar.
"I'm fine, where I am." Nikolai said coolly. Straightening to his full imposing height; his arms crossed tightly. His whole demeanor reeking of hostility. Why? Annell wasn't sure. Nikolai's strange behavior was starting to bother her. She doubted it could be about the personal issues between the two of them. That ship had sailed and while Nikolai was a like a little boy who seemed to hate the idea of another 'boy' playing with his toys, this sudden strange tension had presented long before the sudden and abrupt end of their...arrangement and it did not explain his coldness towards his 'brothers' .
"Suit yous' self " Sasha groaned as Simon filled the mug in front of him. He was too old to try and figure out what bug had crawled up that boys ass.
Sipping their coffee; a tension filled the room as Annell spoke quietly. Her voice hoarse and fingers messaging her temples as she explained everything. From her strange phone call, to Ivan claiming someone had placed a contract on his life. Simon groaned, Demetri breathed 'son of a bitch' as Sasha was stoically silent. His wrinkled brown eyes staring into his coffee cup.
"Can we get him out?' Simon managed to find his voice, as he slid off his stool pacing the length on the kitchen.
"He pleaded guilty..." Demetri sighed... "Can't get bail after that.."
" He pleaded ' no contest'. It's not the same. " Annell said quietly, her head falling in her palms.
"Yes, it is," Nikolai barked loudly, Annell jumped at his sudden addition. Annell went rigid, raising her head as her eyes narrowed at the smug looking bastard.
"No. It isn't." She hissed through clenched teeth. Sasha sighed, his hand sliding on top of hers, offering a small squeeze before he added his voice.
"Annell is right, it is not. 'No contest' means; that while you admit no guilt, you do admit the truth of the facts.." Sasha voice was weary and tired, messaging his temples gently.
"Yeah..It's not..." Demetri's brow furrowed. " Can he get bail before he is sentenced? He still hasn't been sentenced.." Nikolai didn't try to hide the scowl that tugged his thin lips downward. Nor did he attempt to hide the fact that his crow footed eyes noticeably narrowed at the young woman as she shakily ran her fingers through her slightly damp, stringy hair. Annell was too tired to look up; too tired to bother even engaging whatever seemed to be chapping his ass. However; she could feel him. Annell bit and chewed at the inside of her cheek as Nikolai's eyes bore into the back of her head.
"He should be able to get bail... At least until sentencing." Annell's head shot up. They were still talking. They were still talking and she'd missed most of it wrapped up in her own useless thoughts. Great.
Why were they staring at her? Simon, Sasha and Demetri's eyes were all trained on the woman, waiting. Annell quirked an eyebrow pursing her lips in thought. Whatever thoughts she should have been pondering...she was not sure.
"Shall I call the Jew prick?" Demetri finally ended her torment. Grabbing the coffee pot off the granite; he topped off his own cup, and surprised Annell when he sloshed a bit in her mug as well. She nodded her head in a brief 'thanks' but her mind was running at warp speed. Her heart hammered in her chest. Something felt off about all of this.
Something; that she could not put her finger on was chewing at her from the inside out and the fact that she could not fit all of the puzzle together was completely disheartening. What kind of question was that? Really; why would he even ask. As if she would say 'No'. As if the option of leaving Ivan in prison to meet his own death was a fucking option. As if; they would even carry out the task of leaving him in there had she wanted it... What was that?
"Nel? Jew..yes or no?" Sasha pressed.
"Yeah, yeah." Annell shook her head. Trying desperately to ignore the nagging uneasiness in her belly. "Get Holtz here as soon as possible. Wait. Have him meet me at the office, that would be better." Annell thought better of her original idea, as she took a sip of the steaming mug, only to hiss as the hot liquid burned a path painfully down her throat. The eyes boring into the back of her head were persistent and as Annell cleared her throat and attempted to recover, she could still feel him . Sucking her bottom lip in, she raked her teeth over the tender flesh. Leaning heavily on the counter Simon seemed to look past Annell his eyes widening and a small smirk pulled on the corner of his mouth.
"Hey brother-man." Simon said, as Annell's head swung around to find Tig, hair wild and messy. The same button down navy blue shirt from last night only half buttoned, a crop of dark chest hair peeking out at her. Rounding the corner from the hallway he made his way into to the kitchen. Neither Annell nor Tig or even Simon missed the already tense air of the kitchen become a little thicker. Nikolai straightening against the far wall, his large hands balling into fists as Tig slunk behind Annell's stool. A heavy ringed hand wrapping around her bicep; Annell bristled as he pressed his lips to the slender column of her neck.
"Morning, doll." He murmured against the heated skin, a shiver made it's way down her spine. " Hey man," Tig brought his eyes up to Simon's, a wicked smirk on his lips. Annell watched as the men shook hands; exchanging greetings. Demetri reaching across the breakfast bar grasping Tig's hand, they shook. Annell suppressed a surprised gasp as Tig's arm slid around Annell's waist; his hand pressing against her belly. His free hand grasping her coffee mug, as he took a large gulp. Annell found herself leaning back into the warmth of his chest, Tig grimaced as he looked down at the woman pressed against him.
"Russians and your vodka... " He craned his head down to whisper against the shell of her ear. Another shiver made it's way down her back, settling between her thighs.
"That's a horrible stereotype and I resent that." Annell looked up as Tig hovered over her. Their eyes meeting; she allowed her smaller hand to cover his, holding a little tighter to her stomach. "I don't drink vodka is the mornings, " She chuckled.
" Sometimes we drink whiskey." Simon smirked mischievously. His beefy tattooed fingers coiling around the neck of the Jameson bottle; he lifted it slightly and gave it a small shake. Tig laughed heartily; he barely noticed as he threaded his fingers with Annell's slender ones. His thumb rubbing slow circles on the soft, warm skin of her palm.
Tig would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the tension that seemed to be mounting. The douche bag; Nikolai, in the corner looked as if he might just explode at any given moment. His thin lips were pulled in a hard thin line, fists clenching and unclenching. Nikolai did little to hide the fact that he was seething. Which if anything; only egged Tig on. As Annell playfully admonished him for his 'stereo-typing' Tig heard a hiss of air escaping the assholes clenched teeth. Simon raised an eyebrow as his eyes darted between the three, his lips pulling into a uncomfortable, toothy smile. Simon's eyes widened as they shifted to look a coffee stain on the counter that had become particularly interesting.
"So... I'm calling the Jew prick than?" Demetri said dumbly, in an attempt to break up some of the strain that hung heavily in the air.
"Yes.." Annell sighed, Tig's motions were soothing as her head lulled back a bit, resting against his chest. Simon, eyes still wide and openly confessing his awkward feelings, filled a mug with hot, steaming coffee and slid it across the bar to Tig.
"Good, Good." Sasha sighed. He was too old for this shit. "Well, let's get the Jew to set up a bail hear-"
"I don't think that's a great idea." Nikolai's unwelcome voice invaded the conversation. Tig felt Annell tense, pulling forward her lips twisted into a scowl.
"Excuse me?" Annell shot over her shoulder, turning a little to face the irate man who glowered at her from across the room. Annell unlaced her fingers from Tig's,only to be surprised as he held onto her tighter. Offering a comforting squeeze.
"Contracts do not just disappear..." Nikolai hissed.
"We're stronger outside - We have the numbers. We have .."
"Them. " Nikolai spat distaste. Eyeing the black leather cut that hung on the back of the kitchen chair with distaste. Tig smiled. Annell's mouth opened a bit as she looked up at the man who moved beside her in disbelief. He thought this was funny? "By the way; he has no place in this conversation."
"The Sons of Anarchy are our allies... our brothers." Sasha spoke before anyone else had a chance. The old man sighed, subconsciously a hand came down to message an aching knee. He was definitely too old for this..bull shit. Annell gaped; her mouth opening and closing as she attempted to retort.
"It's not your call." Simon added with a confident nod in Tig's direction.
Tig bit his tongue painfully; his temper rising quickly. He was tired of this asshole. Nikolai had been nothing but a pain in the ass for months now. His thinly veiled digs and general douchebagery were something that Tig found himself tolerating...barely. For Jax , the Club and Annell. But the closer he found himself drawn into Annell, the more she confided in him, the more she 'vented' about the tensions between herself and Nikolai. The more Tig found himself certain he knew what was 'up Nikolai's ass' and it had little to do with the Club or even Annell; it had everything to do with him.
"I'm a member of this family." Nikolai seethed. "Longer than you. Longer than her." Nikolai's narrowed eyes landed on Annell. If looks could kill; well, she'd be dead and buried. " I was Vory before you were even born!"
"It's not your call. Yes, you are a member, but I'm Boss. I make these calls and if you have a problem with that...maybe you should...take a break." Annell said softly. Her hands trembled as her heart thudded loud and fast in her chest, a reaction to the rising conflict breaking out in her kitchen. "Maybe the Brooklyn family could use some help for awhile." She said diplomatically. She was not trying to cut him loose. She was not; in her opinion, being insulting. She was trying to solve a problem. She knew she'd need as many men as she could get with the problems with Ivan and the numerous other mounting situations, she would need as many men as she could get. She could not afford to lose anyone. Let alone, lose a high ranking brother in a stupid argument that would leave him bitter and possibly seeking revenge.
"Maybe it shouldn't be your call! Think about it." Nikolai's voice rose an octave, as his accent became thicker and thicker the angrier he became. "Ever since you rose up; everything has gone wrong! We have more problems now than ever. I don't think that is coincidence!" Nikolai ranted angrily, taking a step towards Annell.
"Watch you tongue!" Sasha hissed, cutting him off.
"Excuse me!" Annell squealed. Simon jumped as she took a sip off her coffee, slamming the ceramic mug against the granite. The black ceramic shattered; coffee spilling over the counter, pooling into a dark brown lake. Demetri shook his head; as he attempted to 'keep his head down'. This was not a argument that he wanted to have any part in -at all.
"I'll get some paper towels." He muttered softly; not that anyone even heard him or cared he was certain. Annell slid from her seat, her eyes narrowed as she ripped her glasses from her nose and childishly threw them.
"I'd have you know; that I never-" She was cut off as the painfully silent Tig grabbed her elbow. That was even worse; She had never seen him so quiet. He always had some kind of commentary... Annell gave one solid attempt to shake his large hand off her but he pulled her back, onto the stool. She resided to allowing him to 'help' her. She wasn't quite sure what kind of 'help' this was but she trusted him... more than she probably should.
"Calm down; doll. " Tig said. His hand sliding from her elbow up to her bicep, rubbing fiercely. " This shit doesn't have anything to do with the Club. Go ahead ask me." Tig said, an impish smile pulling on his lips, reveling his teeth.
"What the fuck?" Nikolai said, a little louder than necessary. "I wasn't talking to you."
"I know you want to. " Tig continued in a mocking tone. Pulling his hand from hers, he put both hands on his hips. "Come on;you know you want to. Ask me how many times she came last night." Annell gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth. A red blotchy blush crept up her neck, making its' way up her face. She was shocked and horrified - too horrified to find the words to actually say anything.
Annell watched in horrified fascination, as Nikolai launched himself at Tigger, his fist colliding painfully with Tig's nose. Blinking dumbly; unable to make her body move. She watched as Tig let out a loud bark of laughter; blood pouring from his nostrils.
"Alright!" Tig yelled, his own fist slamming against Nikolai's sharp cheekbone. "Now this is fuckin' therapy." Annell's eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open as the men locked up. Nikolai's back was slammed hard against the wall, her hands covered her mouth. Clamoring off her stool and out of the way, Simon gripped her shoulder, hauling her back as Tig slammed Nikolai's head into the granite of the breakfast bar. Annell groaned, shaking herself out of the shocked haze, she finally took stock of the tousling men. The broken glass; the fucking hole that had been put in the wall somehow.
"Break them up." She hissed at Simon, not quite sure why Demetri and Simon hadn't made a move yet. She was shocked when Simon shook his head.
"Let 'em work this shit out." Demetri said loudly, as Nikolai got a decent shot in. Annell shook her head; her own temper rising to an unhealthy level. Tig seemed to be enjoying the scuffle -a little too much. Annell's teeth bit into her bottom lip viciously. Nikolai wrestled Tig - somehow; getting him on his back on top of the kitchen table. The glass centerpiece tumbling to the floor - shattering noisily. Her fists clenched as Tig's fist slammed into Nikolai's nose, his head snapping back.
But she'd lost it, truly, when Nikolai head butted Tig, his head bouncing of the granite topped table.
"Knock it off!" Annell bellowed, her hands gripping her waist. Huffing, as the two continued to sock away at each other. Tig kicked Nikolai solidly off him; Nikolai stumbled back. His normally immaculate slicked back gray hair was askew and a few strands hung messily in his bloodied face.
"Cut the shit!" Annell screeched. Looking over her shoulder at the other three men, who if anything had backed up further into the kitchen area. "Do something." She hissed.
"Fifty bucks on Tig." Simon leaned into Demetri; who shook his head.
"Nah, that's a fools bet." Both men winced, turning back around Annell's eyes registered the men just in time to see Tig's teeth sink into Nikolai's face. More accurately- his nose. Nikolai yelped in pain, it was somewhere between between a howl and a screech. Grappling for something, anything. Nikolai blindly as blood poured from his nasal cavity -Tig still hanging on. This bastard was going to fucking bite off his nose. Nikolai sunk his thumbs into Tig's eyes.
Slamming her hand down against the counter top in frustration Annell let out a unintelligible yell. Her eyes shifting to the bottle.
"Nel, No!" Simon yelled. But it was to late. She had already more than made up her mind. Her fingers coiled around the neck of the bottle. Shrugging out of her cardigan, she grumbled to herself mostly. She knew better than to get in between fighting men, she was smaller and it was just a recipe for a disaster. That was how women would up getting hurt.
Nikolai slammed Tig into the far wall.
Annell huffed behind him. Rising her arm high above her head for added leverage. She swung, the bottle meeting Nikolai's head with a sicking crack. The glass shattering and raining down in a haze of amber liquid and green colored glass against the tile.
"Son of a bitch." Annell huffed.