TheBeautifulNerd: Thank you! I did, glad you did too. Hope you like this chapter, Lily visits! X

'Don't you miss being a kid?' Alicia asked, clutching a mug of coffee.

'A little bit,' Ethan grunted, red in the face with determination and armed with a screwdriver to fix the toy together. 'I don't really think about it. I never got chance to enjoy it properly.'

It was the morning after Delilah's birthday, or New Year's Eve, as most people knew it - the very last day of the year. Magically, the clutter of bright colours and shapes seemed to have multiplied overnight. So many awkward objects, toys, dollies and even clothes covered what used to be carpet.

They were up early, as usual, which caused Alicia's dependence on caffeine come what may. She wasn't a morning person at all, and that was the reason that the assembling of everything was left to him. They'd sorted a few bits the previous day, but they were out the flat quite a while and so hadn't had ample opportunity to do so.

'There,' He proudly pushed the toy forward after a while. 'All shiny and new.'

Delilah looked at it for a moment, then dived for the cardboard box.

Ethan huffed, disappointment audible. 'That's right. Next time I plan a day trip, remind me to not go as far. We'll frolic in the rubbish tip all day, see what we can find.'

From the sofa, Alicia snorted. 'She'll warm to it. Hopefully.'

He turned to give her a dirty look but couldn't help smirking, throwing the tools aside in defeat. The baby looked up, expression twisted, almost displaying annoyance at being disturbed from her playing.

'Sorry, Lady Delilah. Did that bother you? You play with that box, don't mind your father. After everything we've been through together, all the memories we have, moments we've shared, tears we've shed, and this is how you thank my undying efforts?'

'Leave her be, you overdramatic goat.' Alicia rolled her eyes.

He laughed hard. 'Back to the animal references? Careful, I could get a complex here.'

'Hm,' She responded with a smile. 'Something tells me you'll survive. She's happy as larry, look at her.'

'Delilah,' Ethan called, throwing a plastic ball gently at her to get her attention.

Sure enough, her head snapped round once more. She scowled and shuffled along the carpet, picking up a bauble that had fallen from the tree.

'If babies could give the finger...' Alicia started, but was promptly stopped when a green ball hit her in the side of the head.

'That could have gone in my drink then!' She protested, picking it off her jumper and throwing it back on the floor.

He sat forward a bit, reaching for the new camera he'd bought just before Christmas and starting it up. The flat was bereft of photos; it wasn't that they had none, but more that they were all taken on his phone and it was difficult to find a day to go to the printing shop. When buying the camera frazzled in Argos, he reminded himself of all the good things that would come of it. For starters, making the house look lived in, and most importantly, documenting his daughter's childhood properly.

'Delilah,' he called. 'Say cheese!'

Instead of ignoring him, this time, and quite wonderfully, her little legs stretched and she rose to her feet, wobbly and uncertain. The glittery bauble fell to the floor.

Alicia suppressed the shriek of delight with a hand to her mouth, holding in all the noise that could blight the moment.

Ethan drew a breath carefully. 'That's it,' he whispered. 'Come to daddy.' The baby took one more step, then widened her eyes and locked them with his. 'Yes, darling, well done!'

He moved the camera carefully and set it to record, angling it from the floor with hope it would capture the moment.

'She'll never make it that far,' Alicia whispered, shaking her head. 'There's at least two metres, if not three.'

Between Ethan and Delilah, there was a disappointingly large amount of space. It was improbable, but he urged her to do it, with a desperation like never before. He needed her to do it.

The baby paused, stood still, little tired legs bending at the knees. The tension was palpable.

'Come on!' He tried to keep his voice at a steady pitch and tone, despite the bundle of nerves and excitement that was knotted in stomach. 'Daddy's here, what a clever girl you are!'

Quickly and clumsily, she managed to take another few little steps and fell into his open arms.

He swooped her up effortlessly, twirling her around until the room looked fuzzy. After coming to a stop, he planted a heavy kiss on her cheek. 'My little superstar, aren't you? Yes you are!'

Eventually he turned to Alicia, elation plastered over his face, expecting her to be just as giddy at the milestone they'd witnessed.

The silence started to feel a little strange. There she sat, legs crossed, looking out the window with bleary eyes. When sensing his eyes, she managed a crooked smile, before leaping off the sofa and exiting the room without a word. Congealed coffee spilled onto the leather, leaving Ethan to crouch and wipe it with a sleeve, baby still on one hip, clueless as to what went wrong.

-x-

A knock on the door.

Ethan fumbled for the keys, made his way over numbly and swung it open.

'Happy New Year's Eve!' Two voices chimed in unison.

'Lily, Iain! Come in, do.' He greeted warmly, pulling open the door.

His best friend looked happy, as ever, very content with life and full of smiles. There had been a marked improvement in her disposition since she'd found someone to love. It was almost like she made more of life too; she had curled her hair, bothered with makeup and wore a stylish knitted jumper and jeans. She had become more playful too. As soon as she'd unbuckled her shoes, she reached out to the baby immediately.

'It's little Lila, hi sweetie.' She cooed, stroking her cheek affectionately and shifting her on to the hip nearest the men.

'Isn't she cute, Iain?'

'Very, yeah.' He agreed with a smile, moving a thumb to tickle the baby under the chin. 'Hello cheeky!'

Delilah squirmed and buried her head into Lily's shoulder.

'Sorry, she's not so keen on men apparently. I mean, I'm not complaining.' Ethan chuckled. 'Come through. Can I get you guys a drink, or?'

Lily and Iain looked to one another.

'Uh, go on then mate. Just a cold one though. D'you have any coke?' Iain asked.

'Yeah, sure.' Ethan nodded. 'Lily?'

'Black coffee please.' She requested politely, rolling her eyes at Iain's look of outrage. 'I have a night shift tonight.'

'Certainly, that's fine,' Ethan laughed at her need to justify. 'Make yourselves at home, if you can find a square inch of the living room in which to sit down.'

'Where's Alicia then?' Iain's voice travelled through.

Ethan paused, pop bottle in hand. 'Out.'

'Out?' Iain asked. 'This early?'

'Well, it didn't stop us, did it?' Lily hissed back.

'Alright Chuckles, keep your wig on, it is early to me. You were the one that insisted on getting up at a silly hour because you went to bed when it was still bleeding light outside, not to mention—'

'Oh wind it in, Iain!' Lily said back. 'Uncle Iain is a banana brain. I don't blame you for not liking men, baby, sometimes I question it myself.'

'I'll just pack my bag then, shall I?' Iain retorted.

Lily giggled. 'No, but listen. I was...'

Ethan tuned out to their conversation as he continued pouring the drinks. There was a much more efficient way of making black coffee, the coffee machine being one, but he preferred to do it by hand. The visit was unexpected, and although welcomed, he needed a few seconds to gather his thoughts and psych himself up for it fully.

A black coffee, glass of coke, plate of biscuits, his own cup of tea. He set them aside and glanced back at the bottle still on the countertop.

Absorbed in his own thoughts and realising he had been for a couple of minutes, he called back to the living room. 'Just nipping to the loo, won't be a minute.'

The blood beat in his head as he headed to the toilet and bent down the handle. Locked, of course. He let out a sigh.

'You know who it is, let me in.' He muttered, glancing behind him to check nobody had followed him through. 'I haven't the time nor patience for silly games, open up.'

The door remained locked to his dismay. Fine, he thought. Just as there was a tiny chink of light, bit of hope that they were getting somewhere. He bent down and propped the glass up against the skirting board, leaving the digestive next to it on a piece of kitchen roll.

-x-

'How was your Christmas then?' Ethan asked, sipping the tea.

'Good thanks.' Iain replied. 'Quiet, to be fair. Lily's mum came over, we visited Gem, had a few early nights... oww!'

'What did I say about oversharing?' She shook her curls with embarrassment, bouncing the baby on her knee. 'Did you get up to much Ethan?'

'Uh, no. Ours was quiet too. Little one overwhelmed with all her gifts, we had dinner, Alicia's mum popped by, I visited Cal's grave in the evening, had a couple of drinks and went to bed. Lucky that you both got Christmas off.'

'I know, jammy. Lily went to work at 10, but it could've been worse. We've been picking up shifts over the last few days. She's doing tonight and I start at five in the morning, so... no rest for the wicked, eh?' Iain said.

'That is what they say, yeah.' Ethan nodded. 'You just missed something special as well.'

'Special?' Lily repeated, sitting forward.

'Mm. Take a look.' Ethan brandished the expensive-looking camera, passing it to Iain who had a free hand.

'Nice gift, mate.' Iain nodded.

'He means something on it, babe—' She leaned in slightly to view the screen. Delilah poked a finger over the display, causing Lily to take her tiny hand in hers to hold it back while they watched.

'Those first baby steps are so precious,' Lily whispered. 'What a beautiful video!'

'Lucky catch on camera too.' Iain added. 'Is that good for her age?'

'Yes,' Lily told her boyfriend. 'I was almost two.'

'Well, that means nothing, we all know how slow you are.' He snorted, which went ignored.

Ethan laughed uneasily. 'It's not amazing, but when you're a parent, it means the world.'

'Of course.' Lily agreed with a smile. 'Has she said her first word?'

'I can't shut her up! Daddy, mummy, car, man, gone, oh no, rainy, lights, naise for her pasta, shoes, socks, nappy, bath, Nelly for her teddy, dummy, jacket, upstairs, chee for cheese, yog for yoghurt, house, ball, juice, choc choc, bedtime, ta, vegetable-'

'Vegetable,' Iain laughed. 'Well trained then?'

'That's amazing! Clever girl.' Lily praised.

'I might try and teach her some medical jargon for fun.' Ethan joked. 'Then at the baby groups, all the parents will be discussing their child's progress, and I can say my daughter knows how to say, I don't know, pneumothorax.

'Even I couldn't say that for a good six months when I first started.' Iain confessed, receiving a scathing look from his girlfriend. 'Seriously though mate, that video is priceless. Bet Alicia will be gutted to learn she's missed it.'

'Yeah,' Ethan replied, looking down.

'Hi guys.' Alicia forced a smile, appearing in the doorway.

'Hi,' Lily whispered, loosening her grip on the baby a bit. 'How are you?'

'Good thanks, how are you? I was just in th—'

'Out, I was telling them.' Ethan nodded, averting her eyes.

'Oh,' Iain furrowed his brow, catching Lily's eye. 'Anywhere nice then?'

'Uh, just the shops. We ran out of nappies but they didn't have any.' Alicia answered.

'Mumma,' Delilah mumbled, wriggling off Lily's knee and crawling towards the door.

'So, did you go anywhere else, or—'

Lily stood on her boyfriend's toes, hard, and he quickly fell quiet.

'Drink, Alicia?' Ethan offered brightly, purposefully looking her in the eye this time.

'No ta.' She replied, bending to scoop up Delilah.

'Iain was just saying, you missed something while you were out. Luckily I got it on camera though. I know how much you'd like to see it.' Ethan said, slightly too forcefully.

'Oh, right?' Alicia's voice caught, making everybody including herself cringe. 'I'd love to see, yeah.'

Wordlessly, Iain passed the camera across to Ethan. He took it in an outstretched palm and prepared the video.

'Look, isn't she spectacular? Walking just like that.' He said, looking from the camera to her face equally.

'She is. A day after her birthday too. I wish I'd seen it.' She pressed her lips to Delilah's head lovingly. 'G-good old technology, eh?'

'Yeah.' Ethan replied, managing to be bitter in the one syllable.

'How've you been, Alicia? I haven't seen you since you've been back. Lily told me she'd been round, but—'

'Good, thank you.' Alicia nodded. 'Well, getting better.'

'I get it.' He added, then paused. 'Well, I don't get it like that, but I get how it feels. When I came out of war it was hard. I got all bogged down in my own head. Incomparable situations, I know, but I'm always here for support should you need it. I do fool around, but I have a serious side.'

'Thank you, Iain. That does mean a lot.' Alicia replied.

Lily smiled too, rubbing a hand on his knee for support. 'The same goes for me. We need a girly night. Delilah included, of course! Robyn can come too, even Louise... if you insist.'

All three looked at her incredulously. 'Bit out of character, Lils.' Ethan mumbled.

'To put it mildly!' Iain contributed. 'Since when do you ever like company of others? Ever? You must be coming down with something.'

'I tolerate you, don't I?' Lily fired back. 'Seriously though, I mean what I say. It would be nice to be friends, and there's no real reason not to be.'

'Thanks Lily, that's really genuine of you.' Alicia said. 'This little one would certainly love to spend time with her auntie.'

'No worries,' She smiled. 'That's what friends do, right?'

The conversation continued for another half an hour or so, small talk and chitchat about little things that were so often forgotten about. Alicia's eyes hadn't travelled far from Ethan's, and she'd made several attempts at miming something. He was mildly aware of this, but chose to ignore. It could easily escalate and he didn't want to be put in an awkward position, especially while guests were over. They were the priority.

Lily and Iain had said their thankyous and excused themselves, leaving a belated present for the child and promising to visit soon. The mugs had been cleared away and thrown in the sink to be cleaned later. The baby had been rocked carefully and then put in her cot for a nap. Scraps of paper picked up off the floor. Camera turned off and zipped into its case. Toys brushed aside to clear some floor space. The cushions plumped. Soon, there was nothing else for Ethan to do but turn to her.

'It best be good,' He muttered. 'Worth lying to our friends for.'

'I didn't know you'd lied till you jumped in,' She explained, eyes watery.

'I'm not blaming you.' He buried his head in his hands. 'I'm not. I'm just left to feel so awkward, constantly stretching the truth and covering for you. Of course, I don't mind, but it's draining—'

'They knew I hadn't been out,' Alicia mumbled miserably, kicking a balloon aside with a socked foot.

'Yep. Talk about elephant in the room.'

'Lily was as discreet about it as she could be. She has more social tact than one would ever know, I'll give her credit.'

'Mm, she's certainly got better.' Ethan agreed. 'Why did you go out the room this morning? That caused this whole sorry mess.'

'I was feeling emotional.' She explained simply. 'Seeing her walk made me realise everything else I've missed, and how I came back just in time, and I stared to think about what would happen if you never saw me in town.'

He shook his head, doubting the medication's ability to work. 'You can't think like that. You were there - you just have to be in the moment.'

'I know. You were amazing with her too, such a wonderful daddy, I just felt a bit choked up. It was beautiful to watch, I'm truly humbled by merely knowing you father her. Sounds cringey, but...'

'I get it now,' He breathed out. 'You need to think about dealing with your emotion, confronting it head on. Running away doesn't often work does it? It just makes things worse.'

'Yeah.' She sniffed. 'Thanks for the biscuit, anyway.'

'You're more than welcome. Crying often makes you hungry. That's what I've always found anyway.'

Alicia just laughed lightly. 'I shouldn't have left earlier, I need to pull myself together. I am working on it.'

'I know,' He nodded. 'Which is why I'll tell everyone on the outside whatever it takes to present you in the way you want to be seen: the mum who's confident and just popping to the shop, normal as you like. I'll do it, because one day soon, you'll be there.'