Thank you so much to the latest people to follow and favorite this story. Also, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. I know you're disappointed about there being no Cas in the last chapter, but he is back in this one. I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 21
Getting back to school was uneventful. In fact, the next few days were uneventful. Dean hardly saw Castiel, expect for in classes, and he didn't speak to any of the guy's friends once. Moving into Cain's room was admittedly a little easier for Dean and football. It was easier with them both being on the same training schedule.
Worries about Lisa and being a teenage dad kept running through his head, though. Some nights he could barely sleep as he thought about everything going on. He thought about college and wondered whether Lisa would be up for moving to San Francisco. Could he even be a dad, support a family and go to college at the same time? The only saving grace would be the full-ride, but that would mean a lot of football. Would it be fair on a kid?
It was 2am on the Saturday night and Dean just couldn't sleep. He'd really wished he could have seen Lisa that weekend. It would have helped so much to find out what she really wanted from all this. He needed to know her plans—or more like her dad's plans. Dean knew that that man would have something to do with all this.
With a deep sigh, Dean rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His mind wasn't going to stop. He wouldn't be able to sleep right now and he knew it. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he decided he'd take his thoughts elsewhere. He quickly put on his sneakers as Cain mumbled in his sleep. Dean couldn't help but chuckle slightly hearing that. Cain was a sleep-talker, but he wasn't going to share that with the team.
One thing he had been grateful was Zach's ability to keep secrets. It turned out the guy wasn't that much of a douche. The team hadn't found out about Dean's impending future of parenthood. Zach hadn't told them why they'd really gone to Lawrence—or even that they'd gone to Lawrence. He covered for Dean when they came back with nothing for training. Now if only the guy would shut up with his homophobic slurs.
Taking his mind off the whole thing, Dean snuck out of his room and quietly made his way down the corridor. He walked past his old room with a sigh, but continued walking. There were times that he really missed sharing a room with Castiel. They'd been great roommates, and Dean missed everything about the guy. He missed the way his hair looked on a morning, and the way his eyes shone even in the darkness. Dean knew he was being sappy, but he didn't care. Cas had made Dean feel things he never thought possible, and it had felt amazing.
But he wouldn't bring the guy into his life now. He couldn't bring anyone into this mess that he'd half caused. Lisa needed him to be a man, and that meant doing the right thing. That was leaving Cas out of this and getting back with her.
He quickly made his way down to the hut and lit up. Nobody would follow him at this time of night. He'd be surprised if the teachers were even up at this time.
For 10 minutes he sat and thought through everything. He pulled out his cell phone and even considered just trying to call Lisa. Maybe her dad had given her the cell phone back. It would be so much easier if they could talk. Sighing, he considered calling Jo. She would talk to him about this, but at 2am? On a Saturday night? Chances were she'd be sleeping off a party or still at a party. No, he couldn't call Jo.
There was always Sammy, but he wouldn't want to wake Adam up, too. They both shared a room, and Adam wasn't the heaviest sleeper. No, he couldn't call his brother either. He was all alone with his thoughts. At least, that was what he thought. The sound of rustling outside of the hut told him that he'd been followed down here. Had a teacher been up after all?
Maybe it would be easier if he was caught after all. It would mean he could get home and drive to see Lisa. He'd be able to sought this whole mess out. Dean pulled out another cigarette as the door to the hut opened. He was going to get suspended for doing something, it might as well be this.
"Hello, Dean," it was Castiel's deep, gravelly voice in the darkness, "I thought I saw you come this way."
"You were spying on me?"
"I saw you run across the quad," Cas pointed out, closing the door to the hut, "I decided that this would be the best time to talk. You've avoided me for the past week. You switched rooms. Why?"
"I needed to get away from you." Dean shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't quite a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't need to get away from Castiel for his own sake, but for Cas' sake. He couldn't pull Castiel into this.
"What did I do, Dean?"
Fuck, he thinks it's his fault, Dean felt guilty for making him think that. He rubbed his chin and shook his head.
"It's not you, Cas," Dean shook his head, "It's…"
"You even fucking think about saying it's me and I will punch you," Castiel cut his former roommate off, anger in his blue eyes, "What the fuck is going on, Dean? I tell you I love you and you sleep with me. Now it's back to the way you were before all that? Was I just some game for you? Did you and the football team set bets or something?"
"It's not like that." Dean sighed, but in hindsight lying about that would have probably made more sense. It would keep Cas away from them.
"Then please enlighten me, Dean," Cas threw up his arms, "What is it like. I gave you everything and this is how you repay me."
"Cas, look feelings change, okay?" Dean sighed, "I'm just…I'm not into you, 'kay?"
No, Dean knew that it wasn't okay and the sound of sniffing told him that. Castiel was crying. He was crying over Dean. Great, just great, Dean thought to himself and stood. Every part of him wanted to tell Cas the truth, but that would mean pulling him into all this. He grabbed Cas' shoulders, looking into his watery eyes.
"Look, I'm sorry, man," Dean sighed, "I like you but just not like that. The last few months have been eye-opening for me, but I guess I just like girls too much. I always said I wasn't gay."
Out of nowhere, Dean felt pain shooting across his jaw. He grabbed his face, looking at the floor in shock. Castiel had just punched him, and Dean wasn't going to fight back. He deserved everything his ex-roommate could throw at him.
"You're a dick," Castiel fired at him, his voice cracking through the emotion, "You're an assbutt."
"An assbutt?" Dean couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at the insult. That was one thing he'd never been called in the past.
"Yeah, an assbutt," Castiel pushed Dean backwards, "You fucked me and now you're telling me you're not gay? You think it can all go back to what it once was. I told you I love you. I never expected to hear it back from you, but I thought you at least cared about me. This was all some stupid game to you, right? I was some sort of bet or dare. You just had to get into my pants once. Was it good enough for you? It must have been since you did it a few times that week."
"It wasn't like that, Cas!" Dean shouted. While he didn't want to fight back, he wasn't going to sit and take it all. That wasn't in his Winchester nature.
"How many others have you done this to?" Cas asked, "How many other guys have you pretended to be straight to and then gone and broken their hearts. How many girls?"
"I haven't purposely broken hearts, Cas," Dean shouted, "And you're the first guy. Before I met you it was all girls. I'd never even thought of a guy like that before."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you tell them all," Cas shouted, "You know how deeply in love I fell for you. Within weeks you had me wrapped around your finger. I couldn't help but give you everything, even though you are a complete asshole. I knew it right away, but there was still something pulling me towards you."
Cas punched Dean again, but this time Dean couldn't take it. Dean wasn't someone who would purposely sleep with someone and then leave. He always made it clear to the girls he fucked that they were one-night stands, that he was never into relationships. Those who he did have relationships with knew that he wasn't exclusive. He never set up false pretenses and he never did that with Cas.
Feeling his anger building up, Dean pushed Castiel back. The smaller boy stumbled backwards and hit the side of the hut with a loud crash. He recovered quickly though and threw another punch at Dean. This time, Dean grabbed his arm and twisted it around. Castiel was thrown into the opposite wall of the hut.
"You gonna do the same as you did to that dick we saw at the movies?" Cas asked with a sadistic laugh, "Go for it. Put me out of my misery, Dean."
Dean grabbed Castiel's collar and pushed him up against the wall. Their bodies were just inches apart. They were so close that Dean could feel Castiel's breath on his face. It was warm, inviting and so familiar. Weakness took over and Dean closed the gap between them, staring into Castiel's beautiful blue eyes. His anger was still there, though, and he could see the hatred in Cas' eyes. Dean used the emotions to fuel his next moves.
Closing the gap completely, Dean's lips locked with Castiel's. He frantically ran his hands through Cas' messy black hair, gripping at it as he pushed his hips into him. Cas moaned as Dean deepened the kiss, his hands now running down the smaller boy's body.
Soon, his hands were underneath Castiel's shirt, running along his toned body. He wanted to pull the top off, but before he could Castiel pushed him back. They were breathless as they stared at each other.
"What the fuck was that?" Castiel asked, anger and confusion in his eyes. Dean just swallowed, shrugging his shoulders, but Castiel wanted a clear answer, "What the fuck was that, Dean? I thought you didn't want this."
Dean closed the gap, again. This time, he placed his hands on the wall of the hut, trapping Castiel between it and himself, "I think you know the truth, Cas."
His whisper was low and sensual, making it clear that he really did want this. He was just torn, as he had been months ago. But this was different. Every bone in Dean's body told him that being with Cas was perfect, but his mind told him to get away. He couldn't pull Castiel into his mess. The bones and his heart were winning though. Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel again.
He had to give Cas his due though. The older teenager had some willpower. He pushed Dean away and started to walk away from him.
"We're not doing this," Castiel shouted, "You told me you didn't want this. You changed rooms just to get away from me. We're not doing this anymore. When you want to be a grown up about it, then we'll talk—and only talk."
Castiel walked out of the hut, leaving Dean with his thoughts again.
"Damn it!" Dean shouted, punching the hut wall with his right fist a couple of times to get rid of his anger. He had royally screwed everything up in his life. Every little thing.
The next week went by without too many incidents. He'd managed to get the weekend pass he needed, and arranged with Lisa to see her at her grandmother's home on the Saturday. He'd be staying at home so he could discuss other things with his parents, but he'd see her the Sunday before he went back to school, too. It was the least he could do right now.
Now he just needed to get through to Saturday. It all seemed fine until Friday afternoon when he ran into Benny. The teenager shouldered Dean with enough force to make him stagger to the side.
"What the fuck, man. Watch where you're going!" Dean shouted, all eyes on him and Benny. The younger boy turned and pushed Dean with his hands.
"You're a fucking bastard," Benny told him, "You should be watching where you're going. Watch your back, Winchester."
With that, Benny walked off, leaving Dean handling the eyes that were on him. As Dean turned to look at people, the anger in his eyes told them to scamper off. He wasn't in the mood for gossip and giggles.
It was later that same day that he ran into Benny again. This time they were alone as Dean walked towards the science block. It just had to be a two minute walk away from the rest of the school. Dean didn't usually mind the walk. It usually meant he got a few minutes to himself to think things through. He would put his iPod on and listen to his music and sometimes run through game plans. This day in particular he was thinking about what he would say to Lisa the next day.
That was until Benny came up behind him and pushed him to the ground. Dean rolled onto his bag, cursing at the boy. Benny then climbed on top of him and punched him in the face.
Dean wasn't going to take it. He never did. So, he grabbed the younger boy and brought a knee up. It connected with Benny's balls, giving Dean the chance to push him off. Dean climbed to his feet, before punching Benny in the face and then kicking him in the side, making him stumble.
"I get that you're pissed about me and Cas, but I wouldn't start a fight with me," Dean warned, "I made it clear on the first day why I was expelled from my last school. I'm not afraid to do it again."
"Bring it." Benny wheezed out, laughing at Dean's demeanor. Dean couldn't help but rush at Benny, but wasn't expect the foot that he got to the stomach. Benny dropped to his back and threw Dean over him. Pain shot up Dean's back as he landed on the ground hard. His shoulder had cracked the ground, and he started to wonder whether it was fractured.
The delay from Dean meant that Benny could get back on top of Dean, this time not giving him a chance to kick him off. All Dean could do was try to block the punches as Benny threw them at him. Some of them connected with his face, while others were blocked with his arms.
"You're a fucking asshole," Benny shouted, "I should have known it was all a joke. You were messing with Cas' head and you're destroying him. He can't do anything anymore because of you."
Dean listened to everything that Benny spouted off. He took it for a few minutes, knowing the guy was just standing up for his friend. But finally something snapped in the elder boy. He managed to grab Benny's hands and change their positions so Dean was overpowering him. He punched Benny in the face hard, hearing the snap of a bone.
"I have my reasons," He said, before getting up. He grabbed his shoulder, wincing from the pain that shot up him. Some damage had definitely happened, "I suggest you get out of here before I do something you regret."
"Gonna put me in the hospital?" Benny asked with a laugh, "You'll be expelled out of here and I'll make sure you end up behind bars. I'm sure your parents will love you for that."
Dean glared at Benny and just shook his head. He wasn't going to get into that.
"I'm sure that girl you have back home will love you for it too," Benny made Dean stop by saying that, "Yeah, Cas told me that you'd been talking to your ex. You two get back together? Is that why you left Cas? You know, she'll find out your little secret. You can't hide from it."
"I'm not explaining myself to you." Dean shook his head, turning his back on Benny to walk away again.
"Why? Because you know how much of a bastard you are?"
Dean shook his head as he continued walking, "Because I don't need to. You might wanna get your nose checked out, by the way. I think I broke it for you."
Dean walked into class 10 minutes late, and instantly had people questioning what had happened. They really wanted to know why he was bleeding from his lip and had a bruise already forming on his cheek, but Dean refused to divulge names. Deep down, he knew Benny had a right. Dean had been an absolute jackass recently to Cas, and he deserved everything his ex-roommate's friends could dish out. He wasn't going to get any of them in trouble for that.
Not only is Cas back but he got some sort of a backbone. Those who wanted to see that earlier, how do you feel seeing it now? It's not all going to be sunshine and roses for Dean and Cas yet but I do promise that their love story will go back to being a love story soon. Don't worry; it's not the end for them...at least not quite yet (mwahahaha).
Please R&R, because I'd love to know what you thought.