All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer :::Happy TGUTB Tuesday:::

Unfortunate Circumstance

I thought I knew you, I thought I knew myself
Never guessed the cost, the waste
Just a taste is all I wanted
It's been a long time, a long time coming
But this is how we make or break
Take, take, take
Push the Hand - The Toadies

For once, the weather in Forks was spectacular. The sun had broken through the clouds in the late morning, and Alice and I had decided to sit on the benches that wrapped around a tall oak tree that sat in the middle of the huge lawn.

I had been contemplating my decision to see Jasper. I'd hoped that he'd be receptive to seeing me, even though I had waited a month to do so. If he would listen, I was willing to explain why I'd waited, and why I was ready now. I was also ready to hear his side of the explanation.

My eyes were examining the way the sun fed through the trees leaving the rays catching the slight evaporating of the water from the lawn. Alice was sat next to me reading a magazine. I could tell she was curious about my silent contemplation.

"Al, I think I want to see Jasper."

Alice lowered her magazine and pulled her knees to her chest as she turned to look at me. Her eyes were sparkling with curiosity and there was a smile playing in the corner of her lips. I knew she'd probably anticipated this, she'd known that I would eventually come round.

"Can I ask why?"

"I still love him, all this time and it hasn't changed that, not one little bit. That has to mean something," I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "I have wasted so much time trying to make sure it's the right thing to do, to make sure that I'm not angry and I won't take it out out him."

"And you think you're ready?"

"I don't know, but I'm ready to hear what he has to say, and that's if he'll even talk to me after this long."

"Bella, he calls every day to make sure you're all right, to see if there's a chance you'll talk to him. He feels terrible, all he's wanted is a chance to tell you what happened, what was going on. I could tell you now, but he told me to be your friend, and let him handle the rest, because he knew you needed somebody."

"He did?"

"Bella, when are you going to understand, Jasper . . ."

"Jasper what?" Edward asked as he loped towards us, his PSP was stuck under his nose as this thumbs and fingers made a complex pattern on the buttons.

"Nothing," Alice sighed, pulling her magazine back up so she could read it.

I picked up my book hoping that scanning the words would in some way help distract me. I would go and see Jasper, I just needed to figure out what to say. How to explain everything to him. Edward sat on the bench next to me, but swung around placing his head in my lap so he could see the little screen. I pulled my book away.

"Presumptuous aren't we."

He grinned up at me and winked. I wanted to roll him off the bench for being an ass, but I was in a generous mood so I let it go. We spent most of the afternoon like that, Alice wrapped up in a ball with her legs tucked into her chest as she shuffled through the countless magazines, Edward smacking buttons and yelling at the inoffensive little black box, and me losing myself in another world, or several as the case turned out to be.

The sun stayed shining all afternoon. Thankfully, the heat of the suns rays left us comfortable even in the normally bitter February weather.

I wasn't sure how long he was there before we noticed him. Alice was the first to realize, her head lifting off of her knees as she squinted into the sun.

The light was like a halo around him, the rays leaving trains of light around the shape of his body as he walked towards us. My heart picked up in my chest as I watched him breathless. I was barely even conscious of Alice getting up from beside me to welcome him. All I could see was him, all I could think about was him, and my heart soared knowing he was this close.

I wanted to get up and go to him, but I was frozen, and it was nothing to do the the head on my lap. Fear seemed to incapacitate me, but the irrationality was that it was the fear of being rejected again. What if he didn't want me, what if all this checking up on me was him trying to mend the friendship we'd had before all of this.

When I knew the exact moment something was wrong, I couldn't tell you, but I knew the moment my body reacted to it. His whole frame seemed to be a tense ball as he strode towards us, I knew he so well, and I knew this wasn't good.

Alice had planted her hands in his chest trying to freeze him on the spot, but he marched on, his long legs carrying him closer to us. His features were pulled into a deep severe scowl, his blue eyes devoid of any emotion other than pure rage. My heart was erratically beating in my chest as fear and confusion started to incapacitate me. This was wrong, something was terribly wrong.

"Jasper, will you just stop and talk to me?" Alice pleaded, her tiny hands wrapping around his forearms. "You've got it all wrong."

I tapped the top of Edward's head so he'd move it from my lap, my confusion had quashed the fear and joy of seeing him. The only fear that remained in my system was what he was going to do next. I had never seen anyone so angry. Not since . . . I cut myself off before I even left the memory infiltrate my mind. I just couldn't understand why he would ignore Alice like that, or why he would be upset. More to the point, why he would be this upset.

"Jasper?" I whispered his name. The syllables dancing from my tongue in a reverence that didn't fit in the moment yet I couldn't seem to stop.

The closer he got, the clearer he became, the clearer he became the more bruises I could see littering his handsome face. Edward's head lifted from my lap and looked in the direction of his sister and an almost indistinguishable Jasper. His legs swung over the side of the bench and he sat up, leaving me free to stand up.

Jasper stopped as soon as our eyes met, both of us were locked in; unable to say a word or even distinguish what the other was thinking. I could feel my hands shake as everything I had believed was resolved inside of me came tumbling down inside of my head. What had happened to him, what had changed so much in a month that he could hate me so very much?

Jasper broke eye contact first, his hands gripping his hair. He took two steps left then turned left then right. He looked so confused, so hurt. My hand reached out for him, and I took a cautious step forward, stopping only when his dangerous eyes flashed at me.

"You and Edward?" he spat Edward's name like it was laced with acid.

The realization dawned on me then. He thought Edward and I? That Edward and I were together? Didn't he know I loved him? How could he think that I . . .

"Jasper it's . . ."

"Spare me," he laughed bitterly. "I should have known."

I was aware of Edward standing up defensively behind me. I could see the fear in Alice's face as she appraised both men. I could she was weighing her options, help her friend or get her brother away from all this mess.

A mess I had caused.

Alice caught my eyes and I nodded, knowing what I needed to do. Jasper wouldn't hurt me, I knew that, and I had to talk to him, I had to explain that it wasn't what it appeared to be. I needed to let him know what I had been working out in my head all day.

Alice dropped his arm and walked towards her brother. She squeezed my hand as she passed.

"Come on, Edward," Alice said quietly. "I think they need to talk."

"Only if, Bella's comfortable."

I nodded, not even looking around. I didn't miss the sneer Jasper threw him either. I stood in silence, watching Jasper's eyes as he followed the two of them walking into the house. I knew the moment they were out of view, his accusing eyes turned to me immediately.

"Edward Masen, Bella?" he asked, squeezing his eyes closed as the anger seemed to dissipate.

"Jasper, we're . . ."

"Oh it's we now?" he growled throwing his hands in the air. His frustration was easy to read and it was grating on me, chipping away at the conclusion I had drawn. Chipping away at everything I had resolved. He was being an ass, he was making assumptions and wouldn't even let me talk. Every time I opened my mouth he cut me off. My anger was bubbling below the surface of my skin like molten lava. Could I have been wrong about him all along?

"What's the matter with you?" I hissed, the frustration evident in my voice. He was being unreasonable to say the least.

"Me? Me? You're the one tramping yourself out with other guys. How could you . . . of all the . . . he's a superficial . . . he doesn't know the real you, Bella."

Tramping myself out? It was nice to know he thought so highly of me. Whoever this was, it wasn't my Jasper, not the man I loved with every ounce of my being, this was a shell of him. A cruel inconsiderate guy who wouldn't even listen. I quashed every guilty feeling that seemed to ebb through me. Yes, I hadn't spoken to him in a month. Yes, it was a long time to ignore someone; but, if he knew me as he said he did, he should know this wasn't and never would have been an issue.

"At this point I would say he knows me a damn sight more than you do! Tramping myself out?"

Jasper tugged on the ends of his hair again as his eyes squeezed shut. It was a low blow but I was out to hurt him now, just the same way he was hurting me.

"Anything he doesn't know, I'm sure I can tell him, he's been honest with me. Which is more than I can say for you, Jasper."

Jasper recoiled as though I had slapped him, his face crumpled in pain. In this heated moment I was too angry to care. He hadn't even tried to give me an explanation yet. This was the first time we'd spoken since I left that morning, and all he seemed to care about was the situation he'd found me in with Edward. I had been more than willing to try and work things out, but I could see that I had been wrong in assuming it would ever work out between us. Did he really think that this behavior was endearing, that it would, in any way, make me want to work anything out with him?

"I came here to explain, I came here because I missed you and I wanted you to know everything, I came here because I . . ."

"Stop right there," I said, holding up my hands hoping he wouldn't say what I feared he was going to say. I didn't need to hear that in the middle of a screaming match. Not after everything that had happened, not again. I couldn't let him regain the power he had over me, it would destroy me.

"You've done nothing to explain, Jasper. You came here and accused me, you came here all mad and angry. Have you looked at yourself lately? Your face is bruised, you look like shit and I can only guess how you got that way."

"It's not like that, I'm just . . ."

"It's nothing to do with me anymore, Jasper," I whispered, hating myself for making another crease of pain and sadness etch itself into his face. My stomach was coiling into a disaster inside of me, I could feel the pain bubbling inside of me.

"Bella, don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything, Jasper. I haven't deserved anything you've said to me since you showed up, Alice didn't deserve to be treated as though she didn't exist, and Edward has been nothing but a friend to me."

Jasper mumbled something under his breath, but it was too quiet for me to catch. His eyes bore into mine waiting for them to meet his but I couldn't do it. I couldn't look into his eyes because I knew that I would be sucked in, the anger would dissipate leaving me vulnerable to him again.

As much as I wanted to forget all of this, as much as I wanted to be his, I couldn't let myself get hurt like that again, I couldn't let him hold that over me without knowing the story behind Lauren. I didn't even know if they were together. I hadn't given him the opportunity to explain again, and I wouldn't. I just had to let it go.

"I think you should go."

"Bella, please, just listen to what I have to say. I will leave afterward if you want me to, I won't bug you again, but you have to understand what happened. You have to know how I . . ."

"Jasper, please leave," I begged, cutting him off before he could say anything else. Before he could say something that would crumble the weak wall of defense I had built.

His arms reached out to me, but dropped between us when I stepped away from him.

"Bella," he whispered my name. The pain ingrained in the sound transferred directly into my heart making it heavy. I wanted to fall into his arms and tell him that none of it mattered, that all of this was just stupid and petty, I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

But I couldn't. He didn't trust me, he couldn't love me if he didn't trust me. I didn't even know I'd been holding on to that hope until it toppled from a corner of my mind and shattered me into a million sharp fragments of my former self. Why would he love me?

"Goodbye, Jasper."

I turned and ran towards the house. The sobs were building in my chest like a severe storm on the horizon. It rolled within me, constricting my throat, clouding my eyes. I didn't know if he'd left or if he was still standing there, but I couldn't look back. It was like a fork in the road, and both paths led to a pain I didn't want to feel anymore.

I barreled into the house and took off up the stairs, ignoring Edward and Alice standing in the living room waiting for me. I had promised myself that I would no longer react the way I had the first time around, but I just needed a little while to compose myself, to mask my bleeding heart.

I threw myself on the bed, questions filling my head.

How could things have gone so wrong so quickly? How could he have accused me of something I had neither done, nor even considered?

Such a double standard on both sides of the fence I guessed. I assumed that he was with Lauren, when I could have been completely wrong, and yet I had just gotten upset at him for making the same assumption. There wasn't anybody else that would assume that though, everyone seemed to know we were just friends. They knew Edward and I shared the common denominator. Heartache.

Then there was his double standard. If he was indeed seeing Lauren, which I assumed he was seeing her as he hadn't put much effort into defending his name, then how could he fault me for moving on? I hadn't and I doubted I would, but to know that he thought I was capable of that . . . it sickened me a little.

There was a light tapping at the door and I considered leaving it alone and ignoring it, but I didn't want to push everyone away, I didn't want this to beat me again.

"Come in, Alice." My voice sounded worn and unused, the sobs ghost hung on every word.

Alice stepped in the room pushing the door closed behind herself. She came to sit next to me on the bed, her fingers ran through my hair as I stared into oblivion. I wondered how much she'd heard. It wasn't as though Jasper and I had been loud, but I doubted it was hard to ignore the hostility in our body language.

"What happened?"

"He accused me of whoring around with Edward."

"What?" Alice sounded shocked, and I could only imagine the look on her face right now. Denial, disbelief, and disappointment. The three D's.

"I knew he must be upset," Alice sighed, her hand disappearing from my hair. "He's been boxing again. He's does that when he suffers from emotions he can't process."

"I thought he hated boxing?" I sniffled, rolling onto my side and curling into a small ball.

"That's what he tells himself. But he hates it because his dad enjoys it. It was always something his dad wanted him to do, so he rejected it. He goes to the gym with Embry most nights now, he's lost his edge, but he won't quit, and he won't let Embry not fight him."

"That's ridiculous," I sighed angrily. What the hell did he think he was doing? Boxing the pain away? Looking for a fight where there wasn't one just so he had an excuse to beat the living crap out of something?

"It is, but better that than alcohol or drugs right?"

"If you say so."

A sob rolled from my throat, and I covered my mouth with my hand. "That's not how I saw that conversation going. I was going to apologize, try and talk things out, but he was so angry."

"I know," Alice said, wrapping her arms around me. "Don't give up on him yet."

I didn't answer her, I just cried. Hoping that I would get it out of my system, and it would deplete the memory of him with it.

"Bella, I don't pretend to understand any of this, but one thing I am sure of, is that Jasper loves you."

"Alice, stop, please."

"Why don't you want to hear it? I thought . . ."

"So did I, but I think . . . I think too much has happened to go back. I love him, Alice, there's nothing I can do to change that. I can stop him from hurting me again though. I have to do this for me. I have to move on."

"Bella, today was . . . well, it was weird, but you can't give up now. I know he was mad, and I tried to explain that it wasn't what he thought it was, but he was beyond consolation. I've never seen him like that. Ever."

"Alice, I know he's your best friend, and I really don't want to make this weird for you, if I have to leave, I will, but I can't do this now, I can't let myself get hurt like this again."

Alice fell into a loaded silence. Her forehead was pressed against her knees as she hid her sadness from me, I could tell that she was hoping this would work out. Unfortunately, the hope I had felt when I had made my decision to see him was gone.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. How I was supposed to proceed, there was nothing left for me here in Forks now other than my friend, Alice. I felt guilty about that because I was sure my being here was putting a strain on her friendship with Jasper, and that was the last thing I wanted.

Jasper needed her now, I wasn't assuming that he was pining over me or that I was good enough for him to be distraught over, I had seen his face today, I had watched his pain as it rolled across his eyes in waves. He was hurting and I was part of that, he didn't need to be boxing, he needed his friend to talk to.

"Alice," I mumbled, as the words settled into my heart heavily. "You should go to him, he needs his friend."

"Bella, what do I do, say, I don't know how to stop him from hurting."

"Be his friend, Ali, stop him from boxing. You're his best friend, everything was great until I showed up and ruined it all."

"Don't you start that, Bella. If you're thinking about taking off, so help me God . . ."

"No, I promise, I won't go anywhere."

Alice looked at me, then the door. There was a hopelessness in the way she looked that made my chest hurt and my heart squeeze under my ribs. I knew I wished I could be the one going to him, but I couldn't. Not now, not ever.

"Go," I whispered, propping myself up on my elbows. "I'll be fine, I promise."

Alice rolled onto her knees and climbed form the bed, her anguish worn plainly on her face. I knew she wanted to ask me to go with her, I knew I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't. I hoped the look I gave her conveyed that.

She nodded and turned on her heel, walking from the room and pulling the door closed behind her.

I crumpled the moment the click sounded in my room. Silent tears ran down the sides of my cheeks falling onto my arms heavily. The finality of it crushed me and my fingers gripped the expensive material of the comforter. This was it, this was the end and it was killing me inside, because I loved him, and I doubted I would ever stop.

~*~

I woke with a start, realizing I must have fallen asleep in the midst of my silent breakdown. My chest still ached and my eyes burned from the tears that had spilled before I had let go of consciousness.

Darkness shrouded the room leaving no shadows. It was as though the darkness had swallowed me whole. If not for the comfort of the expensive bed, I could have easily been lying under the bridge on a moonless night. The pain was the same, an echoing emptiness residing heavily in the center of my chest.

"Bella?" The voice on the other side of the door startled me fully awake. I'd forgotten Edward was here.

"Come in, Edward."

The door cracked open splashing light across the hardwood floors, it filled the room illuminating everything in it's dull glow, my eyes narrowed at the offending light, I could have cared less whether they adjusted or not, but they did. Edward's silhouette stood in the door, his eyes adjusting to the dark of the room.

He didn't turn on the light as he walked into the room, he just strode silently to the bed. He climbed onto the top of it on all fours and crawled towards me in silence. Neither of us said a word as he settled beside me. It was as though he knew that I needed company.

After one breath, I was in his arms crying into his shoulder. He held me close letting me cry, there was nothing intimate involved, just a friend consoling me as I let the feeling free within myself.

It was right to send Alice to Jasper. He needed someone to do this for him, someone to hold him if he needed to break down, someone to make the pain subside as he pushed it out of him. This was different from being consoled by Alice, Edward's arms were strong and reassuring, his chest broad and masculine. So much like the ones I craved.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a bad day," I sniffled, hiding my face in his shirt.

"This is my fault, if I hadn't of been there when he showed up, everything would be fine."

"Edward, you're my friend. I am at your house. You did nothing wrong. Jasper made assumptions and nothing I said or did that could change that."

"He thought . . .?" Edward asked, trailing off, unable to say the words.

I nodded into his chest, and his arms tightened around me. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," I sobbed, pushing away from him so I could see his face in the dull glow of the light from the hall."You have nothing to apologize for."

"I just hate seeing you so upset."

"Nature of the beast," I mumbled.

Edward chuckled.

I took control of myself after that. Knowing I was making Edward feel guilty only made things worse, it's why I had sent Alice away, and here I was doing the same thing to Edward. It hardly seemed fair.

"Bet your glad you came home, huh?"

"You certainly make life interesting, Bella," he chuckled, squeezing me gently in his arms. "But I am glad I came home."

I didn't know what to make of his answer. There was something behind the words that I couldn't figure out, I wasn't sure I wanted to, so I let it go. It was easier that way.

We talked for a while after that, Edward didn't let go of me once, and I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that either. I asked about Alice, but Edward had said she wasn't home yet. I couldn't say I was surprised. If Jasper felt anything like I did, I knew they would have a lot to talk about.

I just had to learn to let go. I couldn't keep dragging my heart through this, I'd had enough for a life time, and I wasn't sure where I was headed, but it couldn't be backwards, no matter how much my heart pulled me in that direction. I had no choice but to protect myself, I couldn't do that again.

I just hoped after all was said and done, time would heal the wounds that gaped inside of me.

A/N: Let's hope this works shall we!! This whole website has been acting funky, So we shall see!! I'm thinking I may need to go into hiding after this and take poor Jasper with me. I have a feeling he just may be 1) Jacked 2) Punched in the Peen or 3) Punched in the nose.

So not the conversation you were expecting I know! He messed up, BIG TIME!!! I wish I could give you more but you want the next chapter to be a surprise right?

Big hugz to my hand holders and extended family, miztrezboo and bemylullaby, you guys are awesome, and seriously any of their fics are amazing.

To the reviewers . . . you guys are absolutely amazing and you got me over 1,000, in fact I think it's over 1,100 now and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I wish there was some way to express that . . . no I won't give up the pairing lol!!! Nice try though! How about a sneak peek in the review replies lol LUV YOU ALL!!!

Much love/big hugz ~ Weezy ~