CHAPTER 21

"Just so we are on the same page here, 'werewolf' isn't some cringe-y new sexual euphemism that I'm not aware of? Like 'puma'?"

I've been on hold for ages now, but with my luck the operator would answer just as I was telling Rosalie to fuck off, so I settle for flipping her the bird. Rosalie has passed through denial and anger, and is currently in the stage where she mocks me mercilessly. Glad to see one of us still has her sense of humor. If she needs to make a joke out of it fine, whatever it takes for her to help me.

"Hello? Yes, this is Bella Swan, I'd like to speak with Dr. Carlisle Cullen immediately. It's an emergency. Yes, I'll hold." After I'd explained that no, Carlisle was not the child abuser that Banner made him out to be, we decided our best course of action would be to call Carlisle and get him to somehow release Edward. Rose is fiddling around on her laptop, apparently looking at a moon phase calendar.

"B, how long were you in Cali with Edward?"

"Two months."

"So...presumably, he must have...shapeshifted? When you were there?"

Jeez. How do I even respond to that? She knows I know Edward thinks he's a werewolf, but she doesn't know I believe him. I'm deciding my best course of action when I am saved by a voice on the line.

"Hello? Carlisle?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen is not available. If this is an emergency, I can put you in touch with Dr. Gupta or Dr. Liu."

"I just really need to speak to Dr. Cullen. It's very urgent. Can you give me his cell?"

"I'm very sorry, we are not authorized to give out personal contact information."

"I understand that, but there is an emergency with his son. It's absolutely a matter of life and death."

"Miss Swan, I wish I could put you in contact with Dr. Cullen, but he is currently on a plane on his way to Brussels for a conference. I can take your information and make sure he receives your message as soon as he lands."

I thank her and leave my message, even though I know it will be too late. A call to Esme's office confirms that she is also on that plane with her husband. I don't know what she could have done anyway. Fuck fuck fuck. I sink down in my chair and bury my head in my hands. I'm trying my best not to panic, but I had foolishly placed all my hopes on Carlisle swooping in and saving the day. He is literally unreachable and I have been burdened with the impossible task of breaking Edward out of the hospital, with only a few short hours to figure out a plan to do so.

Rosalie is watching me, still waiting for an answer.

"I can't get in touch with Esme and Carlisle. They're on a plane to Brussels for some conference. They don't land for hours."

"Fuck," is her only response. She gets up to brew another cup of coffee. Stimulants are the last thing I need right now, I feel as if I might have a panic attack, my heart is beating so fast.

"You haven't answered my question," she states, matter of factly.

I guess my diversionary tactic has not worked. I look up at my roommate, who is peering at me with a studiously neutral expression. If I tell her the truth, she won't believe me. Or worse, she will ship me off to the loony bin to be roommates with Edward.

"Honestly Rose, I don't think you want me to answer that. You aren't going to like what I say. It's going to sound crazy, no matter what. So I'm not going to say it." She opens her mouth to speak, a smart assed remark on the tip of her tongue. I cut her off before she gets a chance. "it doesn't matter whether or not I believe him. All that matters, is that Edward is being held against his will and I need to figure out a way to free him."

Rose is quiet for a long time, absorbing my words. I meet her steely gaze with a confidence I don't quite feel. I need all the help I can get, and if Rosalie senses any weakness in my resolve, I'm certain she will pull out.

"This is fucking crazytown," she says finally.

"Yes."

"You expect me to just accept this? That your bf is a fucking werewolf? Even though I know that's totally nutso and I have evidence to the contrary, real evidence from a reliable source. Pages and pages of notes that all say the same thing, that Edward is sick and needs professional help. Banner is not some charlatan B, he is a real doctor, with credentials, who has cured other people with Edward's exact same disorder."

"I don't expect you to believe me, or even agree with me. But I know Edward, he may have his issues but he is not dangerous and he does not deserve to be imprisoned in that hospital."

"You're asking me to do something illegal. You want me to help you bust him out of the mental hospital."

I quirk an eyebrow. "If I recall correctly, you kinda sorta volunteered your services. I never would have asked you to do anything illegal, it you hadn't offered. Rosalie, he's not just some guy I sort of dated. He's...Edward is, I really...I love him, okay?" My admission hangs in midair, surprising me almost as much as Rosalie. I think it's the first time I've said it aloud. Quietly, I say, "You can't tell me that if our situations were reversed and it was Emmett that was locked up you wouldn't be doing the exact same thing I'm trying to do."

She is silent, lips pressed together in a tight line, considering my words. "Fair enough," she says finally.

"I need your help. Just this one time. You can give me as much hell about it as you want when it's over."

She shakes her head. "Just this once B. He better be worth it."

"He is."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rosalie looks skeptical. I hope she doesn't intend on backing out now. "There's got to be another way..."

"There isn't. There isn't any time."

I steel myself and raise my fist to knock. Ready or not...

It's dark and dank in Mike's mother's basement. The nag champa incense does little to mask the smell of pot and mildew and some other mysterious odor that I don't really care to identify. Why we have to come down here at all, I don't understand. He mumbled some excuse about looking for the keys and then somehow cajoled me and Rosalie into following him. I just need to borrow his van. Of course Mike Newton drives a van.

Rosalie doesn't even try to hide her disdain, not that Mike would ever notice. She refuses his invitation to sit on the lumpy beer-stained brown microfiber couch and stands stiffly in the middle of the room, trying to not touch anything. He seems to be making no attempt at all to locate his keys, instead flipping through his records, casually changing his shirt for no good reason. I politely decline his offers to smoke weed and listen to the "sick beats" he's working on. I scan the room, so as to avoid looking at Mike's shirtless torso. He catches me eyeing the fancy camera sitting on a stack of Terry Richardson coffee table books.

"You shoot?" he asks.

"No. That's a nice camera though."

"I dabble," he says with feigned modesty. He sits down next to me on the lumpy couch, a little too close for comfort. I inch as far away as I can without appearing rude. "Can I be honest with you?"

No. Please don't. I shrug in response.

"Has anyone ever told you you have the most expressive eyes? Your eyes...they're like, chocolate orbs...so mesmerizing. You have a really old soul, Bella. It was the first thing I noticed about you."

Wrong. The first thing he noticed about me was my boobs. Then my ass. He couldn't stop staring that first night we met. What a creeper. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I need his van. And his drugs.

"I wonder...if you'd let me take your photograph sometime." He says this casually, as if the thought has just occured to him and he hasn't used this exact line on every girl that has had the misfortune of sitting on this couch.

Oh Lord. I arrange my face into what I hope looks like a smile, but I'm sure the effect is more grotesque than anything. This is for Edward, I remind myself.

"Mmmm, maybe? I'll think about it. Anyway, do you have that other stuff we talked about?"

"Yeah, right here. He pulls a small plastic bag out of his pocket and hands it to me. I give him cash and examine the contents of the bag carefully.

"That's kind of a lot for the both of you. You might want to start off with less if it's your first time. You got hypos?"

I nod. It's not for me and Rose but Mike doesn't need to know that. "Where'd you get this stuff anyway?"

"I have my sources," he says cryptically.

I can sense Rosalie rolling her eyes from across the room. "Bullshit. His Dad's a vet. Runs the animal hospital on Broadway."

"Oh. That's nice."

Mike is nonplussed. "Yeah well, my Dad always has the best shit...You girls want to party here?"

I'm searching for the exits when I hear Rosalie let out a little shriek.

"Found 'em!" Rosalie exclaims, jangling the keys in my face. "Let's get the fuck out of here!"

I love Rosalie Hale. I take back every ungenerous thought I ever had about her. She is a saint. She is up the stairs without further ado and I gratefully run after her.

"Thanks Mike! We'll have your van back to you tomorrow, good as new!"

"Hey, maybe we could hang out sometime? My boy Chee-lo just got back from LA with some really sick..." I don't get to hear what sick thing Chee-lo came back with because we are out the door in record time. We drive to the apartment so that Rosalie can drop off her car and pick up a few supplies.

"Here. You might need these."

I eye the item Rosalie is holding in front of me with disdain. She gives me a withering look.

"Don't look at me like Edgar never tied you up. I bet you love that shit."

"Whether or not he tied me up is none of your business Rose. I just don't want to touch your sex toys."

"Relax. These only went on Emmett's wrists. I cleaned them, I swear."

I try to block that uninvited image from my mind. "Oversharing. You're doing it again."

"I've got nothing to hide. Just take them, you might need them later."

I pick up the gold handcuffs gingerly and drop them in the duffel bag, alongside some rope, duct tape, hypodermic needles and what I hope is enough animal tranquilizer to knock out a giant wolf. I throw the bag in the back of the van, praying that I haven't forgotten anything. Rosalie drives carefully to the hospital, obeying every traffic law to the letter. The fact that Mike's van looks like it could pass for a mobile meth lab doesn't help our cause. It wouldn't do to be pulled over right now. I had forgotten what Lakeshore Drive looks like during the evening rush hour. Our van creeps along at a snails pace. I keep looking at the sky, trying not to cry in frustration. All of our caution, all of our plans will be for naught if we don't get to the hospital before sundown.

I want to laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the situation. It's like a parody of a heist flick. A cruel joke. It is as if the universe wants us to fail. Instead of some ass-kicking heroine, it is I, Bella Swan who is here to save the day. I was an English major. An indoor kid. There could be no person more ill suited to perform this jailbreak. I have a plan. It's not a great plan, there are too many things that could go wrong. But it's the best thing I could come up with. We near the hospital and Rose pulls over to a loading area.

"This is crazytown."

"You already said that."

She takes out her laptop, pulling up a map of the fourth floor of the hospital.

"Text me when you're at the psych ward. Security is pretty tight, understandable, of course. Wouldn't want the crazies to get out. Anyway, you can't get through the doors without a key card. I'm going to wait ten minutes before shutting the electricity off on that floor. I'm guessing you've got probably no more than fifteen minutes before the generators kick in. Don't give me that look."

I am in awe. This is beyond anything I could have dreamed up. "Jeez Rose. Who are you?"

"Someone who is saving your ass. Look, your plan, it ain't gonna work."

"How do you know that?" I'm nervous, switching gears so last minute. This is not what I had prepared for.

"So you're going to distract that fangirl nurse with the manuscript to your sequel? And then what? You were just going to waltz in that locked ward? Seriously B, security would be on your ass in no time at all. And then you can say bye bye to Edgar. This is a better plan. It'll work. Trust me."

There's no point in arguing with her because we don't have time and she's right. "Okay, then what?"

"The locks will be disabled and that should hopefully be enough time for you to get your wolfman out without having to deal with security. I'm going to set off an alarm in another part of the building so they will have their hands full with that. Don't take the elevator, there's a stairwell here," she says, pointing at another corner of the map. "I'm going to pull around and we'll lock him in the back. We need to get him in here and sedate him quickly, if Edward's everything that he says he is."

We both look up at the sun hanging low in the sky.

"Just for the record I don't believe it for one second."

"Got it. Thanks Rose." I mean it. I wish I could express just how grateful I am for all her help.

"Don't thank me yet. Just go. Be careful B."

I'm absolutely certain every single person I pass can read the guilt on my face. I feel woozy, liable to faint at any given moment, but I swallow my fear and anxiety. This is not the time to be meek or timid. I have to be strong, I can't let him down. I step inside and ride the elevator to the fourth floor.

I let out the breath I was holding when I round the corner and spot a familiar curly head and pink scrubs bowed down at her desk. She hasn't spotted me yet. I step back and text Rosalie before making my way toward Angela. Act normal. Act normal Bella. I'm so still and silent, Angela doesn't even hear me approach her desk. I fidget slightly and her head pops up, slightly startled to see me standing before her.

"Bella! Honey, what are you doing here? I thought for sure I wouldn't hear from you for a few days at least."

"Hi Angela...I'm ah, I just wanted to stop by because I had a favor to ask of you?" My voice comes out strange, artificially saccharine. Get it together Bella. I try to remember how to act like a normal human being. I curl my lips up into what I hope looks like a smile. My blood pressure must be off the charts right now.

She smiles, uneasily. Angela is accustomed to dealing with the mentally unsound. Ever diplomatically, she says, "Well, I can't promise anything, but I'll see what I can do?"

"Thanks Angela. It's not a huge deal, I hope." I check the time on my phone. I need to stall for a few more minutes. "You see, I've been working on the sequel, to my book? My roommate is sick of hearing about this book and I could really use a fresh perspective on it. I was wondering if you'd be interested, I mean, if you have time of course, in looking at it and giving me some feedback?"

Angela facial expression transforms from cautious and wary, to visibly relieved. She perks up dramatically. "You're kidding me."

"No, I'm totally serious. That is, only if you want to, and you have time."

"Oh my God, I'd love to!"

"That's great. That's fantastic." My eyes dart toward the door. Someone is coming. A chill runs along the entire length of my spine, I feel it in every single vertebrae, unrelenting dread. I only saw him for a few seconds, but I will never forget that face. I recognize the black hair and glasses, the olive skin. Quickly, I look down, letting my hair fall like a dark curtain around my face, absolutely certain that I've flushed beet red. I don't know if he would remember me. He only caught my eye for a brief moment back at Edward's house, but I can't afford to get found out now. My heart is pounding so loudly, I'm certain they can hear it. He stops in front of the desk, just feet away from me. I dig around in my purse, pretending to search for something, when really I am staring at his tan leather shoes. He's standing right next to me. He sees me. Banner knows why I'm here. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't breathe anymore.

"Angela, I need to step out for few minutes. I've got my pager."

"Sure thing, Dr. Banner."

I keep my head bowed, until I can no longer hear his footfalls. I pull out the manuscript and pass it to her. Her eyes grow wide. Angela looks at me like I've just handed her a thick stack of hundred dollar bills. She beams at me. She is really a genuinely kind person. I feel badly for lying to her about my reasons for being here, but hopefully letting her read the manuscript with alleviate some of my guilt.

"Wow. Thanks Bella. This is so amazing."

"No. Thank you. You are helping me out, so much, you don't even know."

She shakes her head, smiling and flipping through the pages. Come on Rosalie. Now. Where the hell is she? What if she can't get into the system?

"It's just a rough draft. Basically the first book, told through the guy's perspective."

"Oh, I'm sure it will be wonderful. I can't wait to read it. Ben is going to flip out."

"Oh...about that. Would you mind keeping this just between the two of us? I don't want to risk it getting leaked before its published."

"Of course. I understand."

The lights cut off abruptly and we are enshrouded in darkness. There is the low moan of electronics failing and Angela exclaims in surprise but I am running through the doors before she registers what is going on. I tear blindly through the corridors, searching through glass windows for his face. I push past hospital employees and a few patients milling about in confusion, but I can't find him. I am silently screaming, panic coursing through my veins. There are dozens and dozens of rooms in this wing of the hospital. It feels, infinite, endless, and Edward is not in any of them. The horrific realization that he could be anywhere, another floor, another building entirely and I may never find Edward. I turn down another darkened corridor, letting out a strangled cry of relief. He's here. It's not over yet.

I burst through the door, but he barely registers my presence in the darkness of his cell. His face is turned away from mine, but I'd recognize that profile anywhere. They have him restrained, wrists and feet tied down with thick leather belts.

"Edward! We need to go!" I scream at him. I unbuckle the leather straps, freeing him, but he does not stir. "Edward!" I cry, grabbing his face in my hands. "Edward we need to leave, right now!"

He is dead-eyed, staring at me blankly. "I can't leave. I'm going to kill everyone. I'm going to die here," He says, resigned.

"No! Edward you need to snap out of it. Get up! Let's go!" I tug at his wrist and try to pull him off the bed.

He shakes his head, smiling crookedly at me. His green eyes are milky and unfocused, still clearly under the influence of whatever drug Banner has pumped into his blood. "Edward, you need to wake the fuck up! This is not a dream!"

"This is a dream...You're here." His rough fingertips graze my cheek reverently. He pulls me closer, brushing his lips softly against my own. It it the faintest of touches, as soft as a freshly fallen snow on my skin. Edward Cullen in a drug haze still has the power to make my heart stop. As much as I love this, time is running out for us. I do the first thing that comes to mind. I slap him hard across the face.

He blinks. "You're being really adorable right now, but this is not a dream Edward. We need to get you locked up before you turn into a wolf. There isn't much time."

He bolts up, looking around the room as if for the first time. Without another word, he grabs my hand and we run from the room. I don't know where I'm going, but Edward seems to know his way. I trail him blindly, as he moves like a man possessed through the dark halls. We arrive at the elevator bank and freeze.

"Rosalie shut the power off. We need to find the stairs."

He drags me down more unlit labyrinthian hallways. It's a miracle that Edward can find his way in this blackness. We are only a few yards away from the stairwell door, just illuminated by a shaft of light. The door opens and I pull Edward back as Banner's head comes into view. He is out of breath from his ascent up and hasn't yet see our faces yet in the dark. Banner looks up, locking eyes with me just as I pull Edward in the opposite direction. The doctor cries out for Edward to stop, but we are already sprinting away.

"There's another stairwell."

We're running, faster than we've ever run in our lives. Adrenaline buzzing through our blood, we race blindly through black endless corridors, pushing through heavy metal doors and searching desperately for an exit. Edward never lets go of my hand.

"It's just past here," he tells me breathlessly. We have escaped to the newly remodeled wing of the floor. Huge windows line one wall from floor to ceiling, bathing us in the deep red glow of dusk. I smile at him. Almost there. I can finally breathe again. It was close, but we did it. We saved Edward. Rosalie will be waiting for us outside with a snarky remark. I won't care because I'll know Edward is finally safe.

As Edward turns the handle, there is a flicker of light. One by one, like dominoes collapsing the fluorescents come humming back to life. A metallic click, like a gun being cocked echoes through the empty corridor. Edward jiggles the handle but it will not budge. I drop my hand from his. My heart sinks when I see that tiny red light. I rest my hand on his shoulder and point to the key card reader next to the door.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Motherfucker."

His words are a desperate plea, a prayer. Nothing short of a miracle can save us now. He rages, slamming his body into the metal door. He runs back the way we came but that door is locked as well. I call Rosalie, my one last hope. She picks up on the first ring.

"Where the fuck are you? The sun is setting!"

"Rose, you need to turn off the power again! We're trapped in here!"

"Holy fuck. Shit. Shit! Okay. Give me a few minutes B. B, are you still there...? Bella...?"

I don't hear Rosalie. My phone slips from my grasp, falling with a dull thud to the white tiled floor. Edward is no longer throwing his body at the door. I swallow. It's too late. All the blood has drained from his face, his skin damp with perspiration. It has already begun. And this is how we end. There are no choices left, only one path left to take.

"No. No. Not like this. This is a dream." Edward is shaking his head, as if saying the words will make it true.

"Edward," I say softly.

He turns back to me, his face eerily serene. He sinks to his knees before me, taking my hands and placing them around his neck. "Please Bella."

I don't understand.

"Don't let go, until I've stopped breathing."

"No. No Edward," I say horrified, when I realize what he is asking me to do. I try to remove my hands but he won't let me. I drop to my knees until we are eye to eye. To an outside observer, we would look like lovers embracing.

"It's the only way." He kisses me softly. "I'm sorry Bella."

I am shaking my head, whispering, "No, no, no..." and Edward kisses away my tears. This is not happening. "No Edward! I'm not going to do that!" I scream, throwing my hands away from him. I take a step back. "I won't."

Edward is white knuckled, eyes wide with panic. "Please Bella. I can't...I...not you. Not like Alice. Please Bella... Please."

"I'm sorry...I can't." My voice is just a whisper. "I love you too much."

Edward looks at me as if I've stabbed him in the chest. My quiet confession devastates him, destroys him. My words cut deeper than a knife ever could.

He didn't know. I never told him. I don't know why I waited this long. I've been in love with Edward Cullen almost as long as I've known him.

We are still and silent as our shadows grow long. The faint orange light fades to nothing and we are cloaked in moonlight.

"Goodbye Edward."

He screams now, writhing as pain overtakes his body. I close my eyes. I know I shouldn't but this not the last image I want to see of Edward. My Edward. I want to remember him as he was. Infinitely beautiful, as deep and unknowable as the ocean. I lived more in the short time I'd had with him than all of my previous twenty-seven years. I'm jolted from my thoughts by a loud crack.

Edward is hurling his body, with every fiber of his being, at the giant window. I scream and scream until my throat is hoarse, but Edward doesn't hear me. I try to hold him back but he shoves me away, throwing his body, again and again and again. I cry and I plead, I beg him to stop.

He is completely soaked in sweat, his veins blue and throbbing. I can see the muscles begin to ripple, little tremors under the skin. Edward is wild-eyed. Just a few seconds more and he will be gone. With one last terrible howl, he tears toward the wall. I can't watch this. I drop my eyes to the ground. I brace myself for the sound of his body hitting the wall again. I close my eyes, trying to block out the sound of Edward Cullen killing himself. It never comes. The glass shatters into a million pieces and Edward goes crashing through it, falling falling to the ground.

I'm crying and screaming and running toward the window. He lies on the grass below, completely still. I scream his name over and over but Edward does not stir. I want to throw myself out that window. I want to be with Edward. Masculine arms are pulling me back. Banner is holding me back.

I wrestle myself free from his grasp and bolt through the door being held open by a surprised Angela. They are calling my name, but I am already bounding down the stairs. I burst through the exit door and run as fast as can. I can barely see through the hot tears streaming down my face. I'm going to find him. He'll be fine. He's a werewolf. He heals quickly. He's not dead. Please don't be dead.

I am here. I am in the right place. I look up at the broken window. This is where he fell. But there is only emptiness where his body should be. Edward has vanished.