To Live Again

by Wunderkind4006

Is it possible to die and come back to another world? For Clara Riley it just might be! A daydreamer and lover of all things fantastical Clara gets the shock of her life when she wakes up in Greenwood when she should be dead! A little AU story I wrote on a whim because I wanted to try writing something new, a possible future ThranduilXOC romance and lots of fun like that.

21. Chapter 21

***WARNING*** Violence, trauma, implied assault…and other nasty things…basically it is a nightmare.

Hellooo…well this chapter near killed me…and I am pretty sure you will all come after me with pitchforks after this…so I have resolved I am going to die anyway…

I WILL NOT BEG FOR MERCY…this is part of the plot…if you readers do not have faith in me by now then…then….then I will just go cry! If you don't trust me then trust my love for my OC! And the fact that I did promise more improper Thranduil! Please just hold onto that…um *gulp*

So I am actually really worried about this chapter, aside from the obvious distressing nature, it was a difficult one to negotiate so all feedback welcome. Just as long as it isn't mean and cruel, everyone is allowed opinions but we don't need to share them to be hurtful.

Anyway thank you and heeeelllloooo to new followers and friends who have decided to come along and join me on this crazy fanfic ride. You are most welcome!

So much love and respect to; simplyelena, Dragongirl180, theladyofthelost, 2legs2short, WolfsCub, Lady Silverfrost, purpleXorchid, Hiding dormant in the shadows, Weaxzezz, PureAngelEyes, fairys have tails, truebloodlover, Siriania, KrystylSky, Midoriori, amaris12345, Estelle Lumene, LittleRin26, moonlightkiss1515, Teddy bear 007, Michelle1294, Teapot of transformation, Rainbor123, Rousdower, KahlanDanvers1988, My Name is Alice, SimplySupreme, Renata Andrea and Paws-chan65

Also

Fan: Thank you I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THIS CHAPTER. Please don't hate me after this one :)

Jess: Thanks Yip Glorfindel is perfection (sorry Thrandy but he is)

Guest: Clara and Glorfindel will be good friend, sorta of like the type of friends that are drawn together through mutual understanding. They have a better understanding of one another. And Thank you!

Anna: I know at last he knows! But this are about to go a little down hill…whoops my bad! Thanks for the review of course!

Kate: I know it is hard to write the horrible stuff but it is essential for the plot. Will Clara and Thranduil have a little bambino? It's a possibility? I could make it happen? It could be a major arc to the whole story? Or then again Clara might die….

Soooo…I am going to hide behind bullet proof glass! And again make my plea…review but don't hurt me….*whimpers*

Nobody will want this chapter dedicated to them..trust me...so I resolve to add this...

"I just want them to know that I gave my all, did my best, brought someone some happiness.

Left this world a little better just because I was here..."

I was here - Beyonce

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Chapter 21

I am in a trance and I have been since we left Imladris all those days ago. Everything feels distant and faraway, and even though the world seems to go on as normal, I am unfortunately stuck in my head. I keep repeatedly going over detail of that night in my head and I keep trying to imagine up ways of making it better. Nothing works of course because there is nothing I can do. This feels very much like having salt rubbed into an open wound; painful and torturous. I guess the most distressing thing is that while I am quietly suffocating on my own thoughts no-one else seems to notice. The only one that understands, and the only other soul that would make me feel better, is the reason I am in this position.

Thranduil has kept to his word. He is silent and displaced from me, conversing only for the sake of Legolas. I find I live for those moments just so I can hear his voice, no matter how despondent it is. He is much better at creating walls than I am because I can't even read a single emotion on his face. So for my own sanity I drag behind the rest of convoy, just so I cannot torture myself by being too close to him. Legolas spends his time scurrying between his father and grandfather, then to me and Aradan, who has stayed as close to me as he can. Once he was able to decipher the events and revelations for himself he has been a silent pillar of support for both Thranduil and I. He does not take sides and splits his time between giving me someone to talk too, and riding silently beside Thranduil just to make sure his old friend remains coherent. Either way he is the neutral party and helps in distracting Legolas from the real problem.

So far so good, Legolas has not queried the obvious change in the atmosphere. Though he knows something is wrong, he knows I am sad and he knows his father is sad, because he tells us and he tries to make us smile. So for his benefit we do and we act like it is nothing he needs to concern himself with. Oropher however is another story and has formed his opinions on the matter. On leaving Imladris he rode beside me for a little time in silence. When he spoke I was surprised by the sympathy in his tone. He told me that as far as he was concerned I belonged with his people, and that Greenwood would always be my home. He also told me that although my tale was one that both shocked and baffled him, he was prepared to believe it. Mostly because he always had his suspicions, he knew I was not what I claimed and he knew I had been dishonest. His closing sentiment was that Thranduil was his son, and I had hurt him, this was not something that sat well with him. He advised me I had much to do to mend what I had inadvertently broken but hoped in time it could be. He could not deny his son had never been happier than when he was happy with me.

Oropher's understanding was probably the most painful part of the whole sorry situation. I sort of hoped if he had been angry or unreasonable I would have respite from my guilt. Someone would have told me off and all would get back to being as it should be. That of course is a ridiculous and childish notion, but in the thick of heartache stupid things cross your mind. Still I had not expected his kindness and I probably did not deserve it, but in a small way it gave me courage. What also gives me courage is my friendship with Glorfindel and even Celebrian. I have made allies and I know that if the worst should ever befall me they would come for me. Glorfindel said as much when he had caught up with me at dawn on my last morning.

He embraced me and apologised so profusely I actually started feeling guiltier that I had got him wrapped up in all of this. He also told me to remember what we had talked about, I was not here by chance and that I was not to lose sight of that. He still firmly believed I was meant to be with Thranduil and practically laughed off my worries. When I questioned how he could be so sure he just shrugged and told me some things are written in the stars. I sort felt he was a tad dramatic and unhelpful with that romanticised statement but again he didn't seem bothered.

Celebrian was most apologetic; she was just devastated that anyone would belittle me in her home. Between herself and Glorfindel they had successfully seen to Echanar, he would be justly punished for his undesirable actions. I had worried a little about this because he did after all just repeat the truth. Celebrian informed me that no matter if it was the truth or not, I was a noble lady and Thranduil was a Prince, such foul underhanded behaviour would not be tolerated in her realm. Also Glorfindel was a little displeased with being spied on and he was not prepared to let that go. He wanted the little rat taught a valuable lesson in manners. With a warm embrace Celebrian bid me farewell and made me promise to keep in contact. She also whispered to me that Imladris was always open to me; I could seek sanctuary there if ever I needed it. Although I dearly hope I never will.

Other than this I have no real knowledge of any other reactions to the news, and quite frankly I don't care. I just want to be home, I want to go to Gilron and have her guide me as to what I must do to save my family. I want to go to Ollie and sob in her arms, because I know for a little while she will be able to bring me comfort. I want my gardens, I want to go back to work in the healing halls, but most of all I want Thranduil to find his peace. He will be happier once he is within his familiar surroundings, and I can only pray he will find the clarity he is looking for. We have already crossed into the fringes of the Great Wood, and he already appears to be more relaxed. I can't help but take a peek at him as he converses easily with Legolas, the two seem settled and I make out the hints of a small smile playing on Thranduil's lips as he teases his son over something silly.

Aradan halts the company at the banks of a roaring river, I know this place, and the journey from here can become quite difficult. We will need to cut the easiest path through a set of glens that are home to some of the most majestic waterfalls Greenwood has to offer. They are beautiful but treacherous if not navigated correctly; high rocky ledges, hidden caverns and unstable ground all made more dangerous by the vast amount of fast water pumping from the falls and connected rivers. So it makes sense to stop for a moment to ensure all belongings are safely tied down and everyone is briefed on the route we shall be taking.

I take a few minutes to dismount, stretch my legs, and splash some water over my face from the flowing river. When I stoup down to the water I can almost hear the playful laughter of my memories. I can remember in crystal clarity Thranduil teasing and mocking me in the streams close to Imladris as he force washed my grubby face. I scowl at the water and harshly slap it over my face before stalking back to my horse in utter dismay, because there is nowhere I can go and nothing I can do that will not remind me of him. My horse however is not alone and is being tended to by none other than Thranduil himself! I stop mid stride and eye him nervously, as he diligently checks the tack and the horse.

"I can do that," I eventually murmur and he glances up at me from his work.

"I know you can," he adds with a sigh and soothingly runs his hands along the animal's neck. "But I will feel happier knowing that I did it. Then I shall know for certain you cannot fall."

I let out a titter at the insinuations and he even grins teasingly at me. The smile still does not reach his eyes but it is a start, and at least we are trying. He holds out his hand to me and I look at it unsure of what to do next;

"Do you want a hand up?" he queries and I nod woodenly, I take his outstretched hand and he guides me up onto my horse. I can feel his other hand come to rest on my hip and for the longest moment he just keeps his hands on me. The feeling is torture but amazing all at once, he has not so much as held my hand for days and it has been unbearable. Now his hands linger on me and even though it is the lightest of touches, I can feel the jolt of electricity between us and I instantly crave it. Oh this is going to hurt; this is really going to leave me in pieces.

"Aradan means to cross the river at the nearest bridge; from there we will take the route through the caverns." Thranduil informs me but never draws his hands away from me, and I worry that the longer this lingers on the more painful it will be for the both of us later.

"That bridge?" I say and point to the stony remains of a crossing around half a mile in the distance. "It doesn't look so safe?"

"The bridge is fine," Thranduil reassures me but he frowns worriedly in the same direction. "What concerns me is what is beyond it, I am not happy with this path."

"Why?" I squeak because I do not like the look on his face.

"I am not sure, something feels off? It is too quiet, the trees they are too quiet," he mutters in reply and glances around him anxiously. He is uneasy and obviously bothered by something but he thinks better of telling me anymore and returns his attention back to me again. "Stay close Clara, do not lag behind anymore. The river caves are mostly deserted but they cast too many shadows for my liking. Keep Legolas with you and do not let him wander off."

"I won't," I promise him but give him a concerned look. "If it isn't safe maybe we should go another way?"

"Adar and Aradan think I am paranoid, this is the quickest and safest way according to the maps and who am I to argue?" He answers me with a rather disgruntled look and I shake my head.

"I would trust your judgement over maps any day," I add in agreement and he gives me a wry smile, which has my heart leaping into my throat.

"I am probably just oversensitive," Thranduil tries to pacify me. "I have overstretched myself in Imladris, my fae it is hearing things it shouldn't." He rolls his eyes at himself and gives a soft laugh, "Elrond has me expecting an attack from everywhere."

"Well that maybe isn't such a bad thing," I answer him with a knowing look and he bobs his head in understanding.

"Just stay close." He orders one last time and slowly draws his hands away from me. I instantly feel the loss of his touch, and I cannot help the regretful look I grace him with as he walks away from me. He tries not to glance back at me but he does numerous times, and every time his eyes meet mine I see the same regret echoed in them. Just get through the rest of the journey, that is all I have to do, once we get home we can figure this out.

xXx

"Legolas darlin' come here!" I shout impatiently over the din of the rushing water by the stone crossing.

"I want to go with Ada!" He shouts back and points towards the figure of his father. He has abandoned his horse in favour of walking across the bridge, and there is a look of indecision on his face.

"No you stay with me now okay?" I push the issue but he defiantly ignores my request and trots towards his father. "Legolas no! Legolas your Ada says it isn't safe! Legolas?" When he does not comply with my orders I jump down from my saddle and stride across the distance to retrieve him. I cannot for the life of me understand why he is being so clingy to his father. He is no usually so difficult; maybe he is just getting tired and irritable?

"Clara it is fine," Oropher lazily replies from his mount as I pass him. I stop briefly and frown but he doesn't seem too concerned; "Thranduil is just being over cautious."

"Either way I promised his father I would keep him close," I reply earnestly and he simply sighs at my stubbornness, returning to his conversation with one of the other guards with ease. I turn my attentions back to the task at hand, to find Aradan has paused at the bridge to halt Legolas from going any further. I quickly sprint towards him smiling in thanks for his quick actions.

When I am about fifteen feet away I hear something that makes my blood run cold. It is a sound that I have never come across before and it certainly does not sound friendly. I watch in horror as Aradan's smiling face suddenly drops and turns grey. He instantly throws his hands up to me warning me to stop, but I don't see him I just see Legolas. I hear the wail of a sound again and note it is something akin to a horn being blasted. I hear someone shout, and it takes me a moment to register it was Thranduil. My head snaps up and away towards his voice on the far side of the bridge. That is when I see them, the horrific and twisted beasts that seemingly appear from the ledges and strewn rock like murderous shadows.

Voices start bellowing around me in every direction and it is very disconcerting. In the various shouts and alarmed cries I make out one word, Yrch, we are being ambushed by orc. Thranduil was right all along something was hiding in the shadows, why didn't they listen? Even though barely a second has passed everything around me seems to have slowed down, and all I can see is the child in front of me. I know I should feel fear and for a split second I felt something close to pure terror, but none of that matters right now! The only thing that matters is Legolas and every bone in my body is screaming at me to move, there is only one instinct driving me now and that is to protect.

I launch forward and ignore Aradan's cries of warning; he doesn't understand I have to get Legolas. There is a whir of movement and sound that knocks me back to the ground at such a force it steals the breath from my lungs. I feel a moment of uncomfortableness but not enough to stop me as I attempt to find my feet again, only to realise it was an arrow that pierced the leather lapels of my outer coat. I yank the dark weapon from myself and stare at it with wide eyes, it nearly hit me? An inch lower and I would have been badly wounded. I feel my breath return in ragged gasps and I feel my mind begin to work again. We are being attacked? This is not in a story book or a movie set, this is real, they intend to kill us. I shakily find my feet again understanding that if I stay still for even a second I am an easy target!

"Legolas?" I hear his name on my lips like a ghostly whisper, and I try to find my place again in the sudden chaotic landscape. There is another whoosh and I stagger forward missing another string of arrows as they reign down on us. There is so much shouting and movement that it is impossible to anticipate what will happen next, I need to just react. React Clara, come on move, you are not going to die like this! You are not going to abandon him, either of them; you are going to get through this! I lunge forward again only this time with a little more sense, ducking and diving as I weave towards the river searching for my boy.

I see him! He had the good sense to scramble in tight to the river bank, obscured only by the rough shrubbery that lines it. My feet hardly feel like they are touching the ground as I fly towards him, I can hear nothing but the blood pounding in my ears and the distant clash of steel against steel. I hear his name leave my lips as a painful shriek, but it does the trick he spies my approach and locks eyes with mine. 'That's it honey keep looking at me, don't look at anything else but me.' I inwardly pray as Legolas holds my gaze with his own terrified stare, he holds his hands over his ears and openly cries but he does not look away from me. The moment I am within catching distance of him he throws himself at me, but I instinctual crash him against the ground and hold him in a shielded cradle.

"Don't move baby!" I plead and press him tightly against my body, and I feel him bury his head in my chest stifling his cries, his little fists clamping down hard on my shoulders. "It's okay I've got you, it's okay I'm here!" I try and soothe as best as my shaking voice will allow me as I haul us back up the bank and towards safety wherever that may be. "Don't let go of me, just hold on!"

"Ada!" He cries in my ear as he locks his hands tighter around my neck; "I want Ada!"

"Sshsshsshh Legolas stay still," I murmur frantically as I scramble up the bank and attempt to find a familiar face or something that will shield us from the brawl. There is low growl to my left and I spin to the sound, only to make out the most horrific being I have ever seen. Its cold black skin is covered in mottled ugly scars, and its face is so contorted and disfigured that it is almost unbearable to look at. Its hatred filled yellow eyes leer at me with a bloodthirsty look and it hisses something at me in a language I have no comprehension of. The very sound of the words brings me a sense of pain and utter repulsion, and I stagger away from it clutching Legolas closer to me.

The orc begins to prowl towards me and I frantically pull the knife from its sheath at my hip. Holding the blade threatening at the beast I level it with a defiant glare. I will kill it if it comes any closer to us, I don't know how but I will not let it touch Legolas. The orc just laughs darkly at my frail attempt at defending myself and lunges forward, but I slash the blade down and leap to the side. The thing shrieks in anger and I spy the angry trail of black blood as it oozes down it's forearm. It roars at me and I startle at the sound pushing my hands against Legolas' head to try and muffle the noise, and obscure him from view. I feel his little heart hammer against mine as his fists clench tighter around my shoulders. The orc charges us again and I frantically go to dive but before it even reaches us it lets out a strange high pitched keen then drops to the ground. I cry in relief and in fright as I make out that the thing is dead, and quickly my eyes dart up to see our hero.

"Oropher?" I gasp in shock as the King keeps the blade of his sword pointed momentarily at the carcass of the orc at his feet. His eyes snap to mine and then flit to the bundle in my arms, the look of complete relief overwhelms him for a moment. He lunges forward and pulls us both to him, placing his arms on my shoulders and quickly scanning Legolas and I for injury. Once satisfied he grips me roughly by the arm and starts running us away from the scene.

At several points he stops to effortlessly dispatch attacking orc, and at every chance I get I let my eyes frantically sweep the landscape looking for Thranduil. Eventually I see him pushing back the last of the attacking beasts by the far end of the river. His face is drawn in deadly concentration and he does not miss a single blow. Between every brief pause he searches the far bank with frantic almost deranged eyes, and I know he is looking for us. I want to scream for him but I daren't, Legolas' protection is vastly more important, I just silently pray he will find his way back to us.

There is deafening tirade of animalistic shrieks that break my concentration on Thranduil and as I turn back I feel my breath stole from my lungs! Another band of the vile creatures round a bend, and take Aradan's camp by surprise. Oropher tightens his grip on me and pulls me in front of him pushing me forward, as the whir of whistling arrows rain down on us.

"Clara keep running!" Oropher commands aggressively and shoves me forward. I guess he can sense my hesitation, my sudden terror at the events and the fact that I am slowly losing the rush of adrenaline that has kept me going so long. I dig down deep and find strength if only for Legolas' sake as I throw myself forward at another dead sprint.

I can feel Oropher at my heels but there is a sickly thud that sounds like an arrow hitting a target that pulls me up short. I turn as Oropher's face crumples into an expression of shock and pain, his hand reaching around behind him and I know he has taken a hit. He inhales sharply and lets out something like a strangled gasp before staggering forward. I shift Legolas' in my arms and place my free hand to his good shoulder, taking his weight against mine. I stare up at him as that chilling sensation of pure terror runs up my spine and digs its deathly claws into my heart. Legolas twists in my arms and regards the new sight with confusion; he does not see the arrow that I have caught protruding from the King's shoulder blade. Oropher knows this and pushes the two of us against the nearest tree trunk shielding us from view, as the orcs run right past us.

"Get it out of me," He hisses through gritted teeth too low for Legolas to make through his fearful sobbing. I glance up at him with wide eyes and shake my head; I don't know how to remove an arrow? What if I do more harm than good? Oropher levels me with a serious look and places a hand on my cheek before speaking again. "Clara I am no use to you with an arrow in my back, I cannot swing a sword for I will risk severing something and I cannot reach it myself. Now remove it please before the child sees."

I nod robotically and he gives me an encouraging look as I hand off Legolas to him. He loosely grips his grandson with his good arm and holds his little head firmly againist his side;

"There there my little leaf, do not cry," Oropher mutters softly but through strained pants. "We will soon be safe and your Adar will come for you." Legolas nods against his Grandfathers arm and holds onto him ever more tightly. Oropher begins to softly sing to the child in a lulling voice and I realise that is my cue to get to work quickly. I slip around behind them to examine the wound, pressing my fingers around the entry site I can tell it is deep but not life threateningly so. It was a lucky shot just skimming the gaps in his armour. If I pull this out it will bleed until it can be packed and stitched and I don't how long that will take.

"Your Majesty…Oropher…I don't know if I-" I mumble but he turns his head to me and gently shakes it. I know that look it means no arguing, and so I rip a length of my cloak so I can roughly pack the wound. Taking a firm grip of the shaft of the arrow I place my hand in warning on his good shoulder, and I feel him tense ready for the pain though he continues to sing softly. In one swift movement I yank the offending object from his shoulder blade and quickly work the cloth into the wound. Oropher slumps towards the tree and his voice falters for a moment, but amazingly he finds it again and continues to sing to Legolas. Other than that he betrays no other hint of pain and I can see now where Thranduil gets his steely determination and iron strength from! I do what I can to patch up the wound but it will weep until it can be stitched. I just hope we survive long enough to get him to a healer, or at least until I can get my hands on better supplies.

There is another string of hollering noises that sound like orc and I know they are close; they are trying to sniff us out. Oropher straightens up and helpfully places Legolas back in my arms. He smiles confidently for his grandson and places a rough kiss on his forehead. He then takes my shoulder with his hand and moves me on. His complexion has turned sallow and I make out the faint beads of sweat that have gathered on his brow, he is suffering and I know he is worried. Yet he still pushes us on at a slightly slower pace but no less a run.

"Where are we going?" I whisper as we turn down into a set of rocks and I can hear the waterfalls in the distance.

"We make our way through the glens." He replies determinedly and I glance worriedly at him. "It is a mixture of rocky caverns and dense forest, if anything it will keep us hidden." Is his sound answer, but Thranduil's warning still rings in my ears? "It is alright child Thranduil knows these glens like the back of his hand, he will trail us and I would wager he will find us long before the Orc do." Oropher adds with a positive nod and I truly hope he is right.

"But where did they come from?" I ask and glance nervously around me as we continue to clamber across the landscape.

"It is uncommon for Orc to be take refuge in this part of the woods, but it does happen." Oropher sighs painfully and shakes his head. "With the recent unrest I suppose it should not come as a surprise that they were hiding on the fringe of the forest."

"What do they want with us? Why did they attack?" I continue to ramble out the questions as we scurry forwards.

"It is just enough for them to bring death," is the King's simple reply. "Their masters suffered a defeat it is just retaliation. They will not win Clara their numbers were too few, but if they can reduce our numbers at even given chance they will do so. It is what they do they destroy what is good, their sole purpose is to snuff out the light."

I feel the shudder of fear grip me again and I try to shake it off, but it is useless when I hear another set of snarling rasps closer than before. I look to Oropher who lets out a defiant hiss as we pick our way ever quicker through the rocky terrain by the waterfalls. The sounds grow closer and I feel Oropher lag behind as he weakens from the blood loss. I turn back to him several times and pull him on forcing him to continue to fight through the pain. If only to make our flight ever more difficult the heavens open and heavy rains crashes down us, making everything slippery and hard to negotiate.

Oropher eventually tires and slips to his knee, he protests for me to go on without him but I won't. I stubbornly take his weight and, Legolas, now grasping something is wrong with his Grandfather tries to push through his fear and help. He wriggles out of my arms and takes his Grandfathers hand determinedly pulling us forward, and helping him find his footing as we slowly ascend the steep ground. Every now and again the Orc howls frighten him and he retreats into me, but I clutch him close and whisper encouragements.

When I pulls onto a rocky overhang close to the waterfall I know Oropher cannot go any further. His back hits the rock and he slowly sinks down to the ground. Legolas runs to his side and attempts to hold him upright, whilst looking frantically to me for guidance;

"Grandpa you have to get up," he sobs and tugs at his Grandfathers arm. "We cannot stop Grandpa they will catch us!"

"No they will not little one," Oropher gasps breathlessly and shakes his head in vehement disagreement of the suggestion. "Clara?" he wheezes and looks to me with distressed eyes as I crouch down beside him. "Clara take him and make for higher ground, keep heading north and you will eventua-"

"No!" I say quite firmly and he glares at me.

"That was not a request it was an order," he groans and shifts uneasily.

"You think I will so lightly abandon my King to death?" I question angrily because I have long since decided what I must do.

"Clara take my Grandson and leave, that is your duty! You are charged with his care!" He barks back at me but I remain unmoved.

"Yes I know," I murmur softly in reply and go to peek over the boulders. I spy the orc approaching in the distance, there are only three. If I can distract them long enough and take them on a wild goose chase then I can give Thranduil the time he needs to find his family. Of course I am gambling with my life but I won't risk running with Legolas any longer. If they caught me and I had him in my arms they would kill him. At least with his Grandfather he has a shot at surviving, I reckon Oropher could hold them off even in his weakened state. But he won't have to not if I lead them away!

"Clara do not dare!" Oropher hisses angrily and I know his quick mind has put together my plan. "Think of Thranduil! Think of Legolas!"

"I am thinking about them," I reply as I shrink down by Legolas and clasp his face in my hands. He looks up at me with beautiful big blue eyes that captivated me from the moment I awoke in this forest. I give him a glittering smile and pull him close for a cuddle, savouring the feel of his soft hair and his wonderful scent. He feels stronger or bigger than when I first held him and it amazes me all the little changes that have taken place. He is slowly but surely shedding his babyish features in the place of a more boyish youthful appearance. I bury my face in his hair for a moment before placing a firm kiss on his forehead;

"I love you kiddo! No matter what happens you always remember that," I say as I fight back the emotion in my voice.

"Why?" He croaks and takes hold of my wrists, "Why? Where are you going?"

"I need you to stay with your Grandpa and look after him until Ada comes, can you do that for me?" I query and lead him over to sit closer to his Grandfather.

"Ada will be angry if you are not here when he arrives," Legolas forcefully reminds me and refuses to let go of my wrist.

"Well then you tell him from me that he is just a grumpy old toad!" I tease but Legolas does not bite and looks pleadingly to his Grandfather.

"Clara please," Oropher shakes his head and tries to stand up, tries to stop me.

"You know it is the only chance we have," I reason as I push him back down to the ground. "I am fast you know, don't worry I'll stay out of trouble. I will draw them away and then you tell that son of yours to send me some back up when he eventually gets here."

"Do not get caught Clara," he warns breathlessly and tries to sit up straighter. "Please child promise me you will not willingly give yourself over to them?"

"Since when do I willingly do anything?" I tease and help him sit in a better position, so he can see through the gaps in the rocks. "I will make it back you know, if just to be a constant thorn in your side."

"You were never a thorn Clara," he answers hoarsely and grips Legolas tightly to him. "You were always a gift; my only regret was not seeing it sooner."

I just about manage a smile for him because truly I never expected such a comment, and without thinking I lean in and kiss his cheek. Legolas wriggles in his arms and vehemently protests to my departure, but I press my fingers to his lips and tell him to be a brave boy, before giving him one last hug. His tears haunt me and I can barely look at him as I back away.

"No come back!" he sobs quietly and wrestles angrily with his Grandfather's iron grip. "Nana! Nana! Gi Melin Nana!"

My heart shatters at his plea, never before has he called me his Mother, and I use every last once of self-control and strength that I have to not run back and hold on tight to him. I don't want to leave him but I must. It is the only shot he has, and I will do everything in my power to make sure he lives. I may not be able to claim that he is from my blood, but he is mine, and I will defend what is mine until whatever end!

I hobble down the rocks and slink my way through the gaps until I am running parallel with the river. Panting breathlessly and with my heart beating out of my chest I skid to an ungraceful stop, by a slippery moss covered bank close to the cascading water. It is the largest waterfall in the glens, and the landscape has a wild and terrific beauty about it that in any other circumstances would be a sight to behold. Today however my attentions are much more focused on the three orc soldiers snuffling around the banks of the river trying to find us. I try to settle my erratic breathing and come up with a solid plan. Think Clara what would an elf do? What did Thranduil say about surviving in the wild? Use the terrain to your advantage, but how do you use slippery rocks? Slippery rocks! Of course!

The ground around the falls breaks and moves easily, it is not safe there are always mud slides and falling rocks. At least this is what Thranduil told me the first time we passed through this way, when we took the long way around. He said that the wet summer would have made the ground unstable and had teased me about not wanting to lose me down a ravine. Yes I could use the rocks; I could lead them up towards more perilous ground. I am quicker and lighter on my feet than they are, I can do this! With steely determination I scope out my environment and decide on a course that is more or less the most dangerous thing I have ever attempted not including cliff leaping with Thranduil.

There, running along the high ground and ledges that make up the towering land that supports the tumbling waterfall, is a set of loose rocks. I reckon I could give them a good enough shove, it wouldn't take much to dislodge them and I am no skinny little stick, I'll get good force behind me. If I can traverse that side that will lead them in the opposite direction of Legolas; and if my plan works they'll receive more than a nasty bump. That will most definitely slow them down and if nothing else the noise will attract Thranduil. So without another thought for myself I ditch my cover and streak across the river, using the various rocks and boulders to cross. I hear the roars of delight and know without a doubt I have been spotted. So the chase begins!

I cannot thank Thranduil enough for his insistence that I learn to embrace the physicality of being an elf. I used to despise how he trailed me on these long arduous treks through the woods, when there were quite obviously easier routes! Now I get it, in his own roundabout way he was teaching me, making me learn all the ways in which I can move. All the things I can use to my advantage if per say I ever had to run for my life. My bones are stronger, my skin is tougher, my muscles more flexible as I leap and vault up through the difficult unstable ground. The orc are in hot pursuit, and they are close, but it doesn't matter they are away from my baby. I don't care what happens to me at this point as long as I can survive long enough to really slow them down.

I make one last leap to reach the loose rock and cry out when I feel the cold hand clamp around my ankle. Frantically I kick out at the orc that has managed to catch up with me, his companions are not quite as fast as he is and still straggle behind. He grins viciously at me and pulls me down towards him with mammoth strength. I yelp and claw the rock with my hands still thrashing my free leg out and successfully catching him a couple of times across the jaw. He lets go of my leg and staggers back cursing in that vile language that distorts my mind, but I can't sustain the motion to make the leap and so slip back to the ledge. The murderous creature sneers excitedly at his luck and I know what he sees. He sees a poor defenceless elleth that is running in fear for her life, she has fought no wars she cannot hold a blade, death is written all over her face. Well he is wrong and when he lunges at me I rip my knife from my hip and with a snarl of my own I embed it in his chest.

"I did not get dragged through death to come here and be threatened by the likes of you!" I shriek as and yank the knife free. The beast claws at himself and eyes me with pure hatred but I just return the favour.

"You think you can outrun us she-elf? You think your puny knife will be enough to stop us? We are going to tear you apart," he growls and staggers towards me, even in his dying state he is not ready to give in!

"I don't fear you!" I hiss back, "I don't fear death." The orc lets out a roar of anger and charges at me but I swiftly dodge him then catch his shoulder plates with my knife, wedging him against the rock.

"You missed!" he laughs darkly but I don't waste any more time. His friends are a few feet away I have to loosen the rocks now. So I swivel on my heels and make the leap scrambling onto the ledge just in time to miss being caught again. I throw myself at the rocks pushing every last bit of my weight and strength into them, and I nearly cry in relief when I feel them give way. I stagger back and smirk at the wild terror filled eyes of my assailants and say quite clearly; "No I did not miss."

I scramble away from the ledge and cover my ears as I hear the deafening shrieks of and bangs as the rocks fall over the orc entrapping them. There is a moment of silence and all I can comprehend is the fact that I am still breathing. I clutch my forehead and realise I am shaking quite violently; I dry wretch against the sensation because truly it is overwhelming as I stagger to my feet. I did it, I actually did it, but oh everything hurts. I start to move away from the scene making my way upwards and away, my thoughts turn to getting to a high vantage point and making sure there are no other pursuers.

I feel a giddy chuckle leave my lips as I hurry along, and I can't quite remember how to breathe properly. My heart is still racing and the blood is pounding in my ears, but I am alive and I have never felt so alive in my whole life. It is because of my delirium that I stop paying attention to my surroundings and that is my deadly mistake. For when I round a jagged corner I am met with the hard end of what I grasp in those last few seconds as the hilt of a broad sword. I hear the crack as it collides with my skull, the coopery taste of blood on my tongue, and the sensations of falling. My eyes can't pull anything into view besides the burst of smoky speckles that cloud everything in my vision. I groan softly but receive another blow to the head, and that is what makes everything do black.

xXx

"W-w-where?" I seem to mumble but I feel like my lips are not my own. I can still taste the blood on my tongue and I think my nose is bleeding? I try to open my eyes wide, to see, to make out anything that will help clarify what has just happened. All I am aware of is that rough hands are dragging me off the ground and forcing me to my feet, which evidently have decided to no longer work. I drop to the ground again and more cursing follows as I am hauled upwards again and kicked forward. My hands are bound? I am captured…shit!

"Time to wake up vermin," A horrid and raspy voice mutters into my ear and I feel chunky fingers clasp around my jaw. The hand squeezes me uncomfortably and I feel the pain shoot up my jaw and into my throbbing head. "The captain will see you now!"

I wrestle with his grip and continue to blink manically to clear my eyes. When I do though I sort of wish I hadn't bothered. I appear to have been dragged to an orc encampment hidden within the caverns. I can tell they have not been here for long and obviously were just rushing through, because there is only a rough looking fire burning in the corner and no signs or food. Oh there is a lovely thought, I am the food? A handful of the vile brutes all stand around me leering, snapping and howling at me, obviously in their attempt to goad a fearful reaction from me. I will not succumb to it though; I drop my gaze to the ground, clamp my jaw tight and refuse to give away even the tiniest hints of fear.

"Now now play nice with our pretty guest," A voice that sounds sweet but hisses with unspoken evil reprimands the orc that is still pawing at me. "No need to spoil her yet, there will be plenty of time for that soon enough." I refuse to look up at the bearer of this voice, I assume it is the captain, and in my defiance I ignore him. "So she elf where is the King?" I don't answer and for that I am flung hard against the ground and kicked quite painfully in the ribs. "I will ask you again, where is the Elvenking? I know he is wounded and I know he is hiding."

"I know nothing," I reply and wretch with the pain of another kick to my abdomen.

"A liar," the captain sneers, "We have ways of making liars speak the truth." I hear him snap his fingers and with my head still downcast I am hoisted from the ground and dragged to the smaller river rushing through the caverns.

Two sets of hands clamp down hard on my shoulders and I gasp at the realisation of what is to follow. I try my damnedest to reject the force, using what is left of my strength to deny the orc the pleasure but it is futile. My head is dunked below the freezing cold water and my whole body thrashes in shock of the sensation. I am held there until the point where I think my lungs are going to collapse from the torment. They continue to rip my head in and out of the icy water for several more attempts, each time I am asked the same question and each time I refuse to speak. At last they cease their torture and I am thrown in front of the Captain again. Only this time I am too weak to turn away, the pain in my lungs is unbearable and I can barely find my voice. I am slapped about a bit and kicked a few times until the orc captain sees fit to call it off.

"I will ask you one more time she elf, where is the elf King?" The captain begins again and kneels down before me. I hear something in my mind, dark voices that cause me pain, and I roll my face into the dirt trying to dislodge them. This is black magic and it is strong, I eye the captain with a healthy dose of fear now because that is what has taken hold of me, pure terror. This orc is thinner and lither than the others, but no less ugly. His horrendously disfigured face is bandaged in rotting cloth that covers one of his eyes, the other burns with intense hatred and cruelty. I know straight away that I won't survive this, because I will refuse to tell him what he wants and he will make my demise unforgettable for doing so.

"I will not tell you," I sneer up at him, my voice sounding off and horrible, it burns even to try and draw breath. "You can kill me if you wish, torture me, but I won't utter a word."

"So brave, so sure of herself," he chuckles darkly and runs one of his clawed fingers down my chest making me shudder in repulsion. "No matter we will find him, I shot him you see and I know he won't get far without aid. Especially now that he is burdened with that little elfling, oh how it will bring me such glee to see the terror in his young-"

"Shut up!" I shriek and lunge at the orc, "I will kill you, I will claw the very skin from you bones if you touch him!"

"Oh I do not think you will," he grins evilly and wraps his hand around my throat. "You are of no further value to me she elf, but I am not one to let anything go to waste. My orcs are in need of some pleasure, and you I believe, will fill that need nicely."

"No!" I choke and wrestle with his grip an icy sensation running down my spine, I would rather they killed me!

"Well tell us where the King is and I will just kill you instead," he replies in a very business-like tone. I drop my head in defeat because there is no way I am prepared to do that, and so with one last shrug he turfs me to his evil band, so they may have their wicked way with me.

As the band of four or so Orc haul me against the rocks, bashing my head and clawing at my clothing, I slowly find myself drowning them out. My mind's eye takes me back to my home in Greenwood to my friends and what has now become my family. I am wrestling with Legolas trying to blow raspberries on his bare belly. I am trying to impress Oropher at the dinner table as I animatedly describe something while he shakes his head in exasperation. I am letting Gilron draw a comb through my unruly hair. I am singing merrily into a wine bottle and falling giddily about the lounge with Aradan and Ollie. I am laying flush against Thranduil, as I stare up at the artful night sky above his bed. His lips brushing my forehead and my ear as he whispers loving promises to me about the life we were meant to share. Though it was a short moment in time it was truly the greatest time of my life. I learned to love and I learned what it was like to have family. I can see the happiness etched on the faces of those around me and I know I helped put those smiles there that will be enough for me. If I have to die here than I will die with purpose, my last gift to my family will be my silence. I will not betray them and I know in my heart Oropher will live and Legolas will be delivered back into the waiting arms of his father where he will be safe.

The sound of clothing ripping brings my mind back to the present, and I hear shouts and wails as the orc fight with each other over who shall sully me first. I close my eyes and bury my face into the rock stifling my tears and burying my fear deep down inside myself. There is no point in fighting back, even if I could I know it would be futile, it would only make the trauma more grotesque. Instead I dredge up images of Thranduil, his strong arms shielding me, his beautifully wild spirit calming me helping me find peace in the sound of the water or the whistling of the wind. His eyes, his astonishing liquid eyes that hold my gaze, I will get lost in that gaze.

I feel cold hands hold my shoulder in place and I let out a stifled cry as the pain of the claws dig through what is left of my garments. More bickering, more mindless arguing, can they not just be done with it so I can pass away? I feel the sting of a punch across my jaw and my eyes roll open just in time to see the leering face crushed into mine. I recoil from it and cannot help my sudden thrashing, but I won't beg for my life I won't plead with them. I will not give them the pleasure! I meet his vile stare with my own determined look, but he just cackles loudly.

Mid cackle there is a whir and the sickening thud of something impaling flesh. The brute's cackling turns into frantic gurgling and I am splattered with thick black blood. I gasp as the beast falls on me an arrow protruding through his neck. His companions all start squealing like pigs and suddenly any restraints I had are removed, so I roll onto my side and wriggle away from the dead carcass of the orc. I try to strain to see what has caused the chaos but all I hear is the vicious sounds of steel cutting through flesh, and the terrible bone chilling wails of dying orc.

"Clara?"

My heart stops at the sound, no it can't be him I am imaging this. My mind is conjuring up this to ease my trauma. This is not real he cannot be here.

"Clara?"

Strong hands wrap around my shoulders, warm and sure, just as comforting as the voice.

"What have they done?" The voice cries in anguish and I feel the need to comfort him. "Clara please speak, please my love, please answer me!"

"Thranduil?" I murmur as he pulls me into his arms, his warm hand pushing away my hair from my face and scrubbing off the dark blood. "I am dreaming?"

"No! Clara open your eyes it is over, I am here!" He sobs quietly and I feel his lips on my forehead. I blink up at him and let out the breath I have been holding in for so long.

"How did you?" I mutter and then my eyes cloud over in realisation. "Thranduil where is Legolas? You father he is-"

"Ssshh, I know we found them and Adar he told me, Clara you stupid headstrong elleth!" he shrieks angrily and quickly unties his cloak from around his shoulders to wrap me in. "We have to go, they did not…tell me they did not?" he brokenly whispers as he brings us to standing and keeps a firm grip of my waist.

"No," I moan softly at the pain of being jostled and rest my head into his chest. "You have impeccable timing my lord."

"Clara!" he warns but laughs softly as he hoists me into his arms, the sound is saturated with relief and I would be quite happy to listen to it all day. "Thank the Valar you are alive, for a moment I thought I was too late," he sighs heavily and presses his lips to my forehead again and I feel him move swiftly through the caverns.

"Well what is this?"

That sickly sweet hiss from before fills my ears and I instantly tense, my hands clawing into Thranduil. His head snaps to the direction of the sound and instantly his features darken with fury.

"Instead of a King I find a Prince?" The orc captain chortles and the dark voices start muttering in my ears again. Thranduil shakes his head vigorously for a moment as if trying to dislodge the chilling words. He staggers back and his face contorts in pain and confusion. "And he is not as strong as he initially appears," the orc laughs and Thranduil lets out a chilling gasp and we drop to the ground.

"Thranduil?" I murmur and scramble as best I can to sit upright. "Thranduil don't let him in, remember what Elrond taught you!" I cry and shakily push the hilt of his sword into his hand. "He is strong but you are stronger, he is no match for you physically." Which is the truth, this creature relies on his magic, and in an armed fight he would be easily dispatched.

"Stay down," Thranduil murmurs and gently shoves me behind the strewn rocks, then with a murderous look he prowls forward to meet his challenger head on. "So you like to play with magic orc? You like to twist things for your own sick pleasure?"

"Only pretty things," the orc leers and unsheathes his broad blade. Before Thranduil can do anything else he whispers something in that frightful black speech that buckles Thranduil and I can see how the enchantment that covers him wavers a little. He rides out the pain as best he can and continues to push forward; ever more determined to end this brute's life.

"You are going to wish you had stayed in whatever hole you crawled out of!" Thranduil roars and swings his blade, then crashing it down hard on the orc's. The deadly dance begins and it is a mixture of devastating blows and waves of dark curses. I can barely find the strength to watch and I try on numerous occasions to find my feet, to search for something to throw or attack with that will give Thranduil the chance he needs to end this. I am too weak though and only succeed in slipping forward. I watch in horror as the orc delivers a harsh blow to the back of Thranduil's neck making him fall to the ground, he makes the scenario worse by trying to lift the enchantment Thranduil has worked so hard to keep in place. He is exhausted he will not hold out and I squeak in terror as the orc boots him hard in the face, eliciting a tremendous howl of agony from Thranduil.

"Stop it!" I cry breathlessly and stagger forwards, "Please!" I know it is pointless but if I distract him even for a moment, it could give Thranduil his chance.

"Clara! Leave!" He snarls into the ground as he tries to find his footing, but the orc has my attention and he grins with a new cruelty lighting his eyes. He storms the distance between us and grips me by the back of head.

"She is precious to you?" The vile creature hisses, "Such a dainty little thing, she would be easy to break."

"No!" Thranduil coughs and spits up blood, his hands shaking as he tries to find his sword that the orc callously kicked away.

I wrestle with the orc as he crushes his palm to my nose and mouth. I choke as I inhale something chalky and sickly tasting. He clamps my mouth shut and I violently shudder from the immediate effects of what I assume was poison. Black spots colour my vision as he rips my head up to look at him, my lungs feel like they are on fire and slowly I become aware of the same fire ripping through my muscles.

"Goodnight little she elf, consider this my parting gift!" he laughs cruelly and throws me against the rocks. I cannot do anything but feel the pain and terror of the strange illness now enveloping me. I hear Thranduil's defiant shrieking in the distance and slowly turn my jerking head to see him ram the orc with his sword. There is a brief fight but ultimately Thranduil wins by decapitation. The orc captain knew he was going to die, he knew in the end Thranduil was stronger, so I was the parting gift. I would applaud his creativity if I could feel my hands!

The pain is disorientating and frightening all at once as my vision blurs around the edges and everything sort of turns into tunnels. I feel arms around me again and I am being shaken quite aggressively, I blink against the darkness and strain to hear through the roaring in my ears. Eventually his beautiful face comes into view and I smile happily at being able to see him again.

"Clara! No!" He cries and I feel him try and dislodge whatever is left of the substance from my mouth and nose. "Clara look at me! Keep looking at me; do not dare close your eyes!"

"I am here," I croak out and weakly lift my hand to his cheek, he grabs it tightly in his own and buries his face in my chest.

"It is alright, you will be alright," he mumbles through bitter tears as he cradles me closer to him. "I will fix this, I will make you well," he promises me as he rests his forehead against mine and I can feel his spirit reach out to me.

"It's too late," I whisper my voice feather light.

"No it isn't! Do not say that!" He warns and I feel his tears hit my cheek as he holds me closer still.

"I am sorry," I say as loudly as I can, determined to make my peace he has to hear it. "I am so sorry for not telling you the truth." I take a fluttery gasp and feel my eyes roll in my head again. My lips are going numb and everything feels very heavy. "But…I…want you to know that-" I gasp again and feel my body jerk uncontrollably. "You have to know I have never been more alive than when I was with you! I don't regret this life and…i…enugh…I don't regret loving you."

"No Clara please do not talk like this," Thranduil begs of me and I feel his hands clasp my face, forcing me to look at him. "You cannot leave me; they cannot take you away from me!" He shouts angrily and I wish I could stop the tears from falling from his astonishing eyes. "Clara I love you, it doesn't matter now about the truth. None of it matters it only matters that you stay with me. Please just stay with me; I cannot do this on my own!"

"Thranduil tell…tell Legolas…I love-" I try to grunt out the words as everything starts to fade. I am so tired, I cannot keep fighting this pain it is exhausting.

"No you will tell him yourself!" I hear him shout and shake me hard again. "Do not give in it is just a spell, fight it Clara!"

"Thranduil I'm cold," I mutter and I feel him hug me tighter but it does no good, everything feels like ice to me now. "I'm frightened, it is dark." I whimper when I can't see him anymore, and all I can hear is his cries and my shallow raspy breaths.

"There is nothing to fear," I hear him say and I feel his lips close to my ear. "It is not dark, there is always light. Can you not see the stars?" he asks his voice comforting but I sense the overwhelming pain in it. I do not see the stars but I can imagine them, like the twinkling gems that our painted on his ceiling. They are beautiful and so real looking. I hear his voice faraway in the distance and I struggle to hold onto it. I no longer feel his arms around me, and the steady beat of his heart fades away. Then I am left alone and with nothing but the stars above me.

"Nana! Nana! Gi Melin Nana!" – Momma! Momma! I love you Momma!"

*WAILS INTO HANDS*

I AM SO SORRY! WHAT HAVE I DONE? GAH I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON

*SOBS*

I promise I will make it better….this is not the end….please believe me….*sniffles*

You should know this hurt me more than it hurt you!