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Chapter Twenty-One

The time that followed that intense moment in the kitchen was not pleasant. My mother and I engaged ourselves in a fierce battle of silence. I spoke to her only when necessary and she hardly spoke to me at all. My poor father, living among two feuding women must have been miserable. It didn't help that the line of communication from my mother to me always went through him. I honestly don't know how he put up with it without going completely mad.

In early November, four weeks after I had broken the news I found a letter from my Aunt Edith in the mailbox. I didn't even have to open it to know that my mother had told her about me. The anger was practically dripping from the envelope. When I went inside and found her sitting in her chair, knitting needles in hand I threw it on the table next to her and thanked her for discretion on the matter. I could get over the fact that she had told my aunt, she would have found out anyway, but the fact that she couldn't wait until I told Danny, my husband and the baby's father about it, angered me to an unforeseeable point. She also told Susan who in turn told Brett who in turn confronted me with his congratulations when I arrived home from work about a week after the letter situation.

"My sister is going to be a Mama!" he boomed the second he saw me walk into the house. Before I could even attempt to shut him up he swept me up in a hug and swung me around.

"Brett please, I'm already nauseous!"

He laughed and set me carefully back down. After giving me a once over he gave me a fierce hug. "This is the best news, Em."

"Tell that to Ma." I said as he released me to shed my scarf and coat. "Where is she anyway?"

"Upstairs." He replied. "She mentioned a headache."

I kept my clever comeback to myself and instead focused my attention on Susan who I spied in the living room holding a bouncy Emma in her arms. I cooed over my niece. Kissed her sweet head of golden curls, forgetting for just a moment about everything that was going on in my life.

Later that night when I was alone in my room, I curled up on my bed and read Danny's most recent letter to me. That coupled with the picture on my nightstand ebbed the pain that had been present since he left. I lay the letter down on the bed and returned the hand to my middle. I wondered if it was a boy or a girl. I wondered if that would matter to him.

There was a sudden soft knock on my door that brought me out of my thoughts and I slowly rose from my bed and smoothed my pajamas out before I opened it. To my surprise my mother stood there. She was in her robe, her hair brushed back in a simple braid. Her stature was innocent, but I still kept my guard up.

"Yes?"

She opened her mouth about to reply and then stopped and closed it again.

"Ma, what is it?" I asked again, becoming ruffled.

She shook her head finally. "Nothing. Good night."

And then she disappeared into the dark hallway. I shut the door and shook my head. For a moment I thought just maybe she had come around. That maybe she would apologize. It seemed I was wrong. Attempting to shake it off I went back to my bed and continued reading Danny's letter before I fell asleep.

The weeks went by fast as Thanksgiving approached. The day before the holiday that I had eagerly began to look forward to, simply because my morning sickness had finally left, I got a surprise visitor at work.

Dr. Callison had gone out on a call and left me to, as he said "keep the ship afloat". I took the opportunity to clean up around the office. I was just putting the last of the papers in the file cabinet when Andrew walked in. Presumably home from college for Thanksgiving he gave my hair a tug to signal his arrival and laughed when I whirled around, startled.

"God, don't do that!"

He laughed again and gave a less than meaniful apology. "Where's the old man?" he then asked, referring to his father.

"Out, but he'll back soon."

"Look at you." He changed the subject, "The uniform suits you. Much better than the old lady who was wearing it before."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"How are things?" he invited me to sit down at my own desk while he pulled a chair up beside it.

"Fine," I replied, pausing to decide whether or not to tell him my news. I knew I could trust him not to say anything, but at the same time…

"How's Danny getting along? Rafe?"

"They're fine. Army life apparently suits them both. They'll be home the second week of December."

"Just in time for Christmas."

I nodded. An awkward pause followed, as if we had both forgotten how to carry on a conversation. I felt like I needed to tell him and maybe he felt like there was something I needed to say.

"Andrew…" I finally started.

"You're pregnant." He finished.

Dumbfounded I stared at him. "What? …How did-you're father told you?"

"Yeah he might of mentioned it." He shifted in his seat.

"I asked him not to say anything to anyone."

"He didn't outright say it. He just mentioned something about needing someone to cover for you in the spring and summer. I think my training in medicine put the rest together."

I read the expression on his face,"You were hoping to come here today and ask me and that I would tell you you were wrong, weren't you?"

He suddenly sat up in his chair, signaling that the light and friendly conversation between us was now over.

"It's none of my business." He replied. There was no hiding the iciness that has his voice had taken.

"You're my friend; you have a right to your opinion."

"Friend? Yeah…"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, now suddenly defensive.

"It doesn't mean anything!"

"What is wrong with you?"

He jumped up. "Nothing, is wrong with me. It's you. You didn't want this, did you?"

"No, I didn't. But I can't say I'm terribly upset about it."

He nodded his jaw tense and turned his back to me.

I stood up and followed him, now more mad than anything else. "God, Andrew, will you stop being like this! If you've got a problem with this just spit it out!"

"NO!" he was both firm and loud and I stepped back, losing my nerve. "I won't say it, because it's not right! You're married and it's not right and it will never be right for me to have any opinion about this! More than that though, I like Danny. I do and I won't say it because I respect him!"

I realized then what he meant. Why he was upset. He words left him totally exposed and the way he looked at me, like a guilty and remorseful child who had gotten caught doing something he shouldn't have. He loved me. That day on the church steps before my wedding came back to me. The way he had always been there for me in the past few months. I had failed to see it all this time and for that I felt guilty.

"I think I should leave." He finally said.

All I could do was nod. My voice was lost.

"Congratulations and…bye."

And then he was gone.