Just a few hours before Wrestlemania 28 and the Game of Thrones season 2 premiere comes part 2 of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.
Backstage, Mario sat on the floor of his locker room doing stretches until Peach stormed in and slammed the door behind her.
"Can you believe what just happened out there?" Peach asked her husband, who just ignored her, continuing to do a stretch.
"Nazz from D-Generation Ed challenged me to my Women's Championship!" Peach said. Mario continued to ignore her, falling face-down on the floor and beginning to do push-ups.
"I mean, can you believe the nerve of that bitch?" Peach asked. "Her friends win the Tag Team titles, and she already thinks she's worthy of fighting me for this belt!"
Mario continued to do push-ups, angering Peach.
"Are you really just gonna ignore me like this?" Peach snapped. "Do you have any idea what's going on-"
Mario stood up and came face-to-face with his wife.
"Look, Peach! I was one judgment call away from losing the world title last night, AND the entire Syndicate is banned from ringside tonight! You're angry someone wants to challenge you for the Women's title; I have to be at the top of my game or else I will lose mine! The Syndicate is nothing without the World Heavyweight Championship! Without this. . ."
Mario draped the World title belt over his shoulder.
". . .no one will look at us the same way again. I gotta go."
". . .kay. . ." Peach said weakly, before briefly kissing Mario on the lips. Mario left the locker room, leaving Peach concerned.
Back in the ring , aggressive rock music played as Jimmy stood in the ring, getting pumped up.
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .JIMMY!"
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre with Jimmy now out of the hospital and ready for one-on-one action in his hometown of Peach Creek!" Early said.
"Jimmy's wounds have healed and he's back at full strength! It'll be a joy to watch him compete-" Shake said, until pyro exploded on the stage.
"Oh no." Shake said, as "No Mercy" by Pharaohe Monch played and Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand.
"And his opponent. . .from Liberty City. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"
"This is the tune-up match Tommy alluded to just now?" Shake screamed in disbelief!
"Claude is a mad man right now!" Early said. "Deadpool cost him the Television title at Doomsday, and later proceeded to beat the hell out of him in the back! But Claude gained an upper hand when he invaded WWE's Saturday Night Animated and proceeded to beat Deadpool senseless! It culminated one month later, when on Animated, after Deadpool was making fun of Claude, claiming he's retiring from the Hardcore scene. Claude would come out and issue the challenge for the Saturday Night Animated after the Royal Rumble: Claude and Deadpool one-on-one in a falls count anywhere match!"
Claude walks around the ring, resting his 2x4 against a ring post. Claude then enters the ring through the second rope and climbs onto the second turnbuckle, raising his fists toward the fans.
"And Jimmy is Claude's punching bag for it tonight!" Shake said.
Upon climbing down the turnbuckle, Claude turns around and spears Jimmy, then hammers away at his head with furious right and left hands! Claude then pulls Jimmy to his feet by the air and Irish whips him hard into a corner. Jimmy immediately collapses to the mat face-up on impact, only for Claude to pick Jimmy up and Irish whip him out of the ring to the ringside floor! Claude exits the ring through the middle rope and stands on the ring apron. Claude then jumps off the apron and takes out Jimmy with a Flying Clothesline!
"Good God! This is heinous!" Shake cringed.
The referee begins the ten count as Claude gets up to his feet and grabs Jimmy by the hair. He drags Jimmy over to the announce table and slams his head onto the top of it before putting him in a headlock and slamming him to the ground with a side headlock takedown. Claude then picks Jimmy up again and throws him into the barricade with a sickening thud! Claude picks Jimmy up over his shoulders and launches him face-first into the steel post! Jimmy clenches his head in agonizing pain as Claude slides him back into the ring under the bottom rope.
"I don't think Claude is seeing Jimmy in this match right now." Early said. "I think he can only see Deadpool!"
Claude enters the ring behind him and lands a Lou Thesz Press onto Jimmy before hammering away at Jimmy's head with right and left hands! Claude taunts to the crowd who cheer back while Jimmy staggers up to his knees. Claude runs off the ropes behind him and connects with a Bicycle Kick to Jimmy! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!
"Claude Speed sending an emphatic message to The Merc With A Mouth!" Early said after the bell rang!
"Here is your winner. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"
Claude gets off Jimmy for the cover and continues to punch him square in the face.
"Wait a minute, Claude's not done yet!" Early observed.
The referee tries to pull Claude off him but Claude stands up and shoves him down. Claude then grabs Jimmy and Irish whips him over the ropes back down to the outside area. Claude sizes Jimmy up and connects with another Bicycle Kick! Claude looks down at Jimmy, then all over ringside and finds his barbed wire 2x4.
"MY GOD! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!" cried Shake.
Now limping, Jimmy staggers up to a standing position as Claude cocks the 2x4 behind him like a baseball bat. Jimmy and Claude meet eyes. . .until Claude nails him square in the face with the 2x4, knocking Jimmy to the ground! Jimmy covers his eyes with his arm screaming in agony as Claude grabs a steel chair from under the ring.
Shake asked, "Why does Jimmy have to suffer at Claude's hand?"
Claude raises the steel chair over his head and repeatedly hits Jimmy across the back with it! Jimmy screams in pain until the fifth hit, upon which his body goes limp and unresponsive, but Claude continues to swing the chair, seething with intense anger!
After the tenth hit, Claude throws the chair at the barricade and grabs a microphone.
"Last night at Doomsday. . ." Claude said, ". . .Deadpool and his buddies attacked me while I had my guard down in a moment of weakness. They beat me senseless in an attack that had it all: furious stomping, a pistol whipping. . .and even a chokeslam through a crate. As they left me laying there in the wood and concrete, I wondered why the hell Deadpool started all this one-upmanship anyway."
"And then it came to me. . .Deadpool calls himself the 'greatest Hardcore Champion ever' and he will prove it by any means necessary, even if it means taking out Hardcore Champions in other companies! Now this company has only been around for a short time, but I can already tell you all that between Deadpool and I, I am the better Hardcore Champion! Like Deadpool, I am a deranged, psychopathic lunatic. Like Deadpool, I go into a Hardcore match with no regard for the well being of others."
"But the one thing that separates me from Deadpool, and makes me the better Hardcore Champion is that I have more drive and desire to succeed in this business. Deadpool has accused me of retiring from the Hardcore title scene for the past couple months in favor of going after the Television title. The Hardcore title has not once left my thoughts. But if Deadpool thinks for one second that I would pass on an opportunity to move up the ladder in this company, just to stay in the Hardcore division, he's got another thing coming!"
"I am more hardcore than anyone in fiction wrestling, and this tune-up match was all I needed to regain my ground! I hope you were watching this, Deadpool, because THIS IS WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU ON SATURDAY NIGHT ANIMATED! And when we square off one-on-one, falls count anywhere, I will do something that no one else has ever done. . .SHUT YOU UP!"
Claude throws the microphone at Jimmy's prone body and storms up the ramp as multiple referees check on Jimmy.
"I fear for the safety of every man, woman and child at the arena Claude and Deadpool will be fighting each other in!" Shake said.
"Who knows what will happen when those two psychopathic men go head to head in a match where falls count anywhere?" asked Early as the show went to a commercial break.
"And now. . .the XCW Smack of the Night! Presented by The Krustry Krab! Come Spend Your Money Here!"
Last night at Doomsday, during the Tai-Garfield match, Tai crawled over to the ropes and pulled himself up, selling his midsection in pain. Tai turned around and stretched his arms away from his sides, stalking Garfield, who slowly rose to his feet. Garfield finally stood upright and staggered around to face Tai.
"What has to be going through Tai's mind right now?" Shake asked. "WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO DEFEAT GARFIELD?"
Tai grabs onto Garfield and screams in exertion as he, with all his might, picks Garfield up and slams him down with a Scoop Slam!
Early cried, "WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?"
Both men lay motionless on the mat as Jon and Sora look up at Tai and Garfield in shock!
Tai crawls over Garfield for the cover, hooking the leg, unaware that Jon Arbuckle has strided over to the ropes closest to both of them, and grabbed Garfield's foot!
The referee makes the count! 1. . .2. . .
The referee sees Garfield's foot on the bottom rope, stopping the count!
" TAI WOULD HAVE THIS MATCH WON IF IT WEREN'T FOR DAMN ARBUCKLE!" Early cried.
The referee turns to Jon and orders him off the apron.
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early yelled. "LOOK AT SORA!"
Sora strides angrily to the north side of the ring as Jon steps off the apron. Jon turns to a side only for Sora to take him out with a spear! Jon rolls on the floor in pain as Sora stands up, scowling at him.
"PAYBACK'S A BITCH, ARBUCKLE!" screamed Early.
Tai turns back to face Garfield, who is up to his knees. Tai picks him up by the head and tries to pick him up again, only for Garfield to grab him by the throat!
Garfield slams Tai down with a thunderous Chokeslam! Garfield goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .3!
"Garfield gets the victory!" Early said, as Jon raised Garfield's arm in victory and taunted to Tai and Sora, wincing in pain as he sold his back.
Back in the arena, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .JON ARBUCKLE!"
The crowd erupts into boos as a referee wheels Jon Arbuckle, sitting in a wheelchair with an ice pack on his back, onto the entrance ramp.
"If it wasn't for this man getting involved in a valiant display of athleticism and fortitude last night, Tai would've emerged victorious against Garfield!" Early said.
"And he wouldn't have to live with the fact that he was laid out by a girl!" Shake added.
Jon glares around at the crowd as he puts the microphone up to his mouth.
"How dare you people boo me!" Jon said, inciting the crowd to boo even more.
"Not only am I here acting as the messenger for the anonymous chairman. . .I am an injured man! I was the victim of an unnecessary spear at the hands of Tai Kamiya's wife, Sora Takenouchi!" The crowd cheered upon Jon's announcement.
"The hit and the landing on the concrete broke two of my lower ribs!" Jon looked around at the cheering crowd, scowling at them.
"I will be bound to a wheelchair for the next month!" Jon said, immediately followed by more cheers from the crowd!
"HOW BLOODTHIRSTY ARE YOU PEOPLE?" Jon asked the crowd, who responded with even more cheers! Jon shook his head and began to speak again.
"Of course, if Tai and Sora were here tonight, I would give them a piece of my mind! Nevertheless, last night before Garfield's glorious victory against Tai Kamiya, the chairman told me that an announcement would be made tonight that will impact the ENTIRE roster of XCW! And I am here to deliver said message."
"You see, XCW has acquired a group of men. A group of men who despite going through conflicts amongst themselves in their lives and careers, have made quite a name for themselves in fiction wrestling! They've won multiple tag team championships, competed for singles championships, and have left a mark in WWT, CWF, and UCW! But now you all are wondering: how does a free agent acquisition impact the WHOLE roster? These men are simply that damn good, and will make an immediate impact when they make their XCW debut in four weeks! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome. . .the newest members. . .of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!"
Jon Arbuckle points above him at the titantron, upon which, a video played.
Four figures knelt in each corner of the ring.
"They are former CWF Tag Team Champions. . ."
All four silhouetted figures hit kicks to the midsection and go for tie-ups against jobbers.
"Former UCW Tag Team Champions. . ."
One figure takes down a jobber with the Scorpion Death Drop, while another has a Figure Four Leg Lock hold applied.
"And four of the most recognizable faces in the entire fictionverse!"
One silhouetted figure hits a 619 on a jobber, while the last one hits a Stunner on another jobber!
All four figures stand next to each other in a line facing the camera.
"They are. . .The Four Soldiers. . .
. . .of South Park."
The lights go up revealing Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick standing in the middle of the ring!
Cartman said, "You WILL respect our AUTHORITAH!"
Kyle holds up four fingers like the Four Horsemen symbol as Cartman begins to laugh in intensity.
"YEAH!"
Back in the arena, the fans cheerd wildly, screaming and holding up their signs in a frenzy!
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Shake screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" Early yelled. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
"THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE COMING!" Shake yelled.
Early screamed, "THE SOUTH PARK FOUR ARE COMING TO XCW!"
Jon Arbuckle grinned at the crowd as he wheeled himself back to the backstage area.
"LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!" Shake yelled. "THEY LOVE IT!"
In their locker room, Ren and Stimpy sat watching the events in the arena unfold.
"The Four Soldiers of South Park are coming here. . .I don't believe it!" Stimpy said.
"Well believe it, stupid!" Ren said. "This gives us even more incentive to better ourselves as a tag team and show the Four Soldiers who the real tag team force is here in XCW! But we first need to one-up D-Generation-Ed and find a manager to keep Nazz in check! Do you have any leads, Stimpy?"
"Nnnyyeah, I sure do, Ren!" Stimpy said in excitement. "I got one at the grocery store today!"
Stimpy opens their small refrigerator and rummages through it while Ren smiles in excitement and encouragement.
"Atta boy!" Ren said. "Who'd you get?"
"I got this tough as nails, feisty. . ."
Ren rubs his hands together in anticipation until. . .
". . .plump. . .CHICKEN!"
Stimpy pulls out an uncooked chicken out of the freezer and shows it to Ren. Ren's face falls into a saggy look of contempt.
"Are you trying to join the JOB Squad, YOU EEEEDIOT? We'll look like FOOLS if you take that thing out to the ring next week!"
"Aw come on, Ren! It's happened before in wrestling!"
Ren covers his face with his hand in embarrassment.
"Well. . .all right. . ."
"OH JOY!" Stimpy screamed, hugging the chicken as Ren looked back up at him with a look of disdain.
"But if we lose next week, our search for a manager continues WITHOUT THE CHICKEN!"
"No problem, Ren! Chicken and I will dominate!" Stimpy assured, as Ren stood up and left the room.
"What did I do to deserve this?" muttered Ren under his breath, as the show went to a commercial break.
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your XCW Main Event of the Evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!"
"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.
"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"
"Last night Bugs found himself closer to the XCW world title than he ever had been in his entire career! All he had to do was land on ground outside of the cage, and he would be crowned the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion!" Early recapped.
Bugs entered the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.
"But he had to make sure Mario didn't land first!" Shake added. "They battled literally to the edge and back of the cage, and fell off at the same time! The match ended on a judgment call by the referee, who declared Mario the winner!"
"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario runs onto the stage raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring to boos from the crowd.
"And his opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom, he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .MARIO!"
"And that brings us to tonight! The chairman decided to do what was right and fair in his mind, and that was to set up the rematch for tonight! Will the third time be the charm for Bugs-WAIT A MINUTE!" Early said, until Bugs ran towards Mario once he reached the foot of the ramp. Bugs leapt over the ropes, taking Mario out with a flying lariat! Bugs stood back up and brought Mario to his feet, and slammed him face-first into the ring post! Bugs then stomped repeatedly onto Mario's chest.
"My God! The match hasn't even started yet!" Early said.
"Bugs won't settle for anything less than a win tonight!" said Shake.
Bugs pushed Mario into the ring under the bottom rope and elbowed him in the face. Bugs slides into the ring after him and the bell finally rings, signaling the start of the match. Bugs immediately goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out! Bugs picks Mario up by the head but Mario punches him repeatedly in the gut. Mario ties Bugs up in a grapple and puts him in a headlock, then takes him down with a side-headlock takedown. Mario wrenches onto the headlock until Bugs stands back up with the hold still on him! Bugs ties Mario up in a grapple and pushes him toward the ropes. Bugs goes for a bulldog but Mario shoves Bugs forward, towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Mario goes for a Back Drop but Bugs falls out of it. Bugs then takes Mario down with a neckbreaker! Bugs goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out!
"Bugs not showing any signs of slowing down as the match continues on!" Early said.
Bugs picks Mario up and goes for a Bunny Bomb but Mario counters out of it with a Suplex! Mario lifts Bugs up again and hits a Reverse DDT! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out! Mario stomps on Bugs repeatedly in the middle of the ring. Mario then runs against the ropes and lands a moonsault onto Bugs! Mario goes for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out! Mario looks down at Bugs with furious disdain! Mario then tries to lock Bugs in the Boston Crab submission hold, but Bugs fights his way out of it! Bugs counters the move attempt into an Ankle Lock!
"BUGS COUNTERED THE BOSTON CRAB! NOW LOCKING IN THE ANKLE LOCK!" Early yelled.
Mario screams in agonizing pain as he pulls his way toward the ropes. With wide eyes, Bugs glared down at Mario and screamed "TAP OUT! TAP OUT!" at the top of his lungs!
"Look at the crazed look in his eye!" Early observed! "BUGS KNOWS HE HAS MARIO BEATEN!"
Mario lunges toward the ropes desperately, his face turned red from the pain! Bugs, however, pulls Mario back in the center of the ring! The referee asks Mario if he wants to quit, but Mario shakes his head no. Mario suddenly manages to spin around on his back and kick Bugs toward the ropes. Mario stands back up and takes Bugs down with a DDT! Both men lay down in the center of the ring as the referee begins the ten count!
"Both of these men have beaten each other senseless for now two nights in a row for one reason and one reason only: to be the World Heavyweight Champion!" Shake said.
Bugs and Mario stagger up to their feet and come face-to-face with each other. They each trade right hands, with the crowd yelling "Boo!" in unison to Mario's punches, and cheering "Yay!" in unison to Bugs' punches. They trade right hands for a minute until Mario gains the advantage by nailing Bugs with three punches in a row, backing him up against the ropes. Mario picks Bugs up and takes him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
BUGS KICKS OUT!
Mario looks down at Bugs, frustrated! Mario then steps over to the corner, pointing at it. He climbs up the turnbuckle and taunts for the Super Mario Splash. . .until Bugs runs up the same turnbuckle and hits him in the gut with body punches. Bugs sets Mario up a superplex only for Mario to throw him back down to the mat below! Mario jumps off the top rope and connects with the Super Mario Splash! Mario sells his midsection as he goes for the cover! 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 BUGS KICKS OUT!
The crowd erupts into a frenzy as Mario punches the mat repeatedly in frustration!
"BUGS' WILL TO SUCCEED HASN'T DIED YET!" Early said.
Shake added, "Much to the chagrin of Mario!"
Mario rolls out of the ring, darts to the timekeeper's booth, and grabs the World title belt. He slides back into the ring and cocks back the belt only for the referee to try to pull it out of Mario's hands. They exchange a few words until Mario nails the referee in the head with the title belt!
"Mario wants to put Bugs away the only way he knows how!" Early said.
Mario cocks the belt back behind his head, taunting for Bugs to get up. Bugs staggers to his feet and turns to face Mario, who aims the title belt at his head. . .until Bugs kicks him in the midsection and takes him down with a Bunny Bomb!
"THE BUNNY BOMB CONNECTS! THAT MAY BE ALL SHE WROTE!" Early yelled.
Bugs falls to the mat in exhaustion, and slowly crawls toward the referee and tries to wake him up, but to no avail! Bugs and Mario both struggle to get up to their feet!
"BUGS IS DOWN! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN! THE REFEREE IS DOWN! WHO WILL REPRESENT XCW-" Early said, until. . .
"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played on the titantron!
"What the hell?" Early asked, as Bugs and Mario pushed themselves up to their knees, unaware that Garfield as storming down the ramp towards the ring!
"IT'S GARFIELD!" Early cried. "WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE?"
Garfield climbs over all three ropes, entering the ring! By this point both Mario and Bugs are standing groggily. Garfield grabs Bugs by the throat with one hand, then he grabs Mario with the other, and takes them both down with a double chokeslam! He looms over both of them and picks up the XCW World Heavyweight title belt.
Garfield raises the belt above his head toward the booing fans as Monday Night Massacre goes off the air!
And so concludes part 2. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, and also let me know if I have improved on my promo writing in any way, and what I can do to improve on it. Also if anyone would like to talk Wrestlemania with me tonight, feel free to reach me via PM! RATE/REVIEW!
Results:
Tommy Vercetti defeated Solid Snake (enters March Majesty Tournament)
Scorpion defeated Sub-Zero (enters March Majesty Tournament)
Team Ed becomes D-Generation Ed and debuts The Ed Factor
Claude Speed defeated Jimmy
Jon Arbuckle announces the South Park Four have signed with XCW
Mario and Bugs Bunny fought to a no-contest for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship