Birth of a Nightmare Man
Summary: Prequel to The Nightmare Man. How did Harry Potter become a feared lord of ancient times? Here we'll see the start of it.
Pairing/s: None.
Warnings: Violence, gore, evil!Harry and Twisted!Harry. Seriously, for quite a bit he's not friendly at all with humans. Be warned.
Disclaimers: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money writing this or any other fanfiction.
-o-
Question for you all; who would be interested in seeing what happened to Draco and Rabastan in the time Harry left behind, and how I could make further twists with time and parallel universes there? I had an idea about it a while ago after a few reviewers suggested it, and wondered if I should develop it. It's not going to be that long I believe, but it could be interesting. Let me know.
And now, read and enjoy!
Gore and violence is described here.
-o-
Chapter Twenty-One
The castle walls went up slowly. It was only four people working on it after all. Well, four and one more occasionally.
Helga was surprised that the Nightmare Lord kept coming back. He even brought his other servant, Lucian, with him. When asked about the others he said:
"What others?"
"You have more servants, right?" Rowena said.
"Oh, are you one of those?"
"One of what?"
"Who think I have a mountain of servants," the Lord said. "I only got two. These two. They'll do just fine."
They didn't know what to make of him. He was cruel at times, then seemed angry at himself for the same cruelty. They often noticed him holding jagged stones in his hands, but he seldom told them why. Godric said he found blood on the stones once. Helga decided to ask Elise instead of the Nightmare Lord.
"Master does what he wants," Elise said.
"Including hurting himself?" Rowena asked. "If he's that conflicted about himself, why doesn't he just stop being the Nightmare Lord?"
"He has no other identity. His name is the Nightmare Lord. Master has nothing to be if the title goes away."
"Everyone has real names," Rowena said.
"Not master. Master has no other name."
Rowena asked the Nightmare Lord later about that, and he said:
"Oh, she's right, I don't have a name."
"Everyone has names," Rowena told him just as she had told Elise.
"Well, I don't remember mine," he replied. "I tried once. I ended up in such pain I decided never to try again. I can fend off physical pain, but the one that is in my head? That one is excruciating."
He was in a better mood when they didn't ask questions. Helga wasn't scared to ask questions, but those about his past didn't lead anywhere so she stopped with those. She'd tell him what kindness entailed. It was surprising how much he listened to that, despite not quite believing it.
"Kindness is strange," he said. "You're not sure you gain anything from it?"
"What did you gain from being who you are?" Helga wondered.
"Fear, and people learning not to trick me," he replied.
He never stayed for any meals, not until a month in when Rowena caught him just before he managed to slip away.
"Why don't you stay for supper?" she asked.
He looked at her, then down at the table with food.
"Usually I'd get poisoned at this point," he said, "but you… you'd tell me."
"Of course I would," Rowena said. "It's just meat with herbs."
"Poisonous herbs by any chance?"
"No."
"Pity; would've made eating more interesting."
"You would be dead if you ate poison."
"No, believe me; I've tried."
But he sat down, and then forcefully dragged down Elise and Lucian as well.
"They think they shouldn't eat with me," the lord explained. "It's just easier to pull them down than being delicate in convincing them."
They had never seen him eat before and were therefore surprised to see how picky he was. He didn't eat much either, and refused the wine. Elise poured him a cup of water.
"Foul thing," he snarled at the wine. "Taste foul, makes people do foul things."
"And you don't do foul things?" Helga challenged.
"You got me there, girl. I do foul things, almost all the time but at least I don't pretend that it's the drinks that make me do it."
Helga didn't know what to say about that and therefore left it alone. The lord drank more of the water than the food, and left early. But next time Rowena invited him for a meal, he didn't ask whether they had poisoned the food or not.
It was when he took Dementors with him the first time that Salazar told them something.
"He does know kindness."
"What?" Helga said. "He does not! He said so himself."
"Look at him now," Salazar urged. "With the Dementors. Now."
They walked to the entrance doors, and watched the Nightmare Lord. The foul creatures were not something they had wanted to see up close, but the lord at least kept them away from the castle itself.
Now, he was… he was laughing, surrounded by them. They grasped his robes, his arms, and he took their terrible heads in his hands like they were something worthy of love. His smile changed his whole demeanour. Helga dropped the plans she had been holding.
"I thought he didn't know kindness," she whispered. "I didn't even know he could laugh that way."
"How?" Godric asked. "He doesn't treat his servants like that."
"The creatures are his children," Salazar said. "That's what he said anyway. I guess he had just enough love in him to love them."
"But he said he didn't know kindness, yet he is kind with them. Was he lying?" Helga said.
"Maybe he didn't know he was kind to them," Salazar said. "If he doesn't know what it means to be kind, then he perhaps doesn't think of his actions towards Dementors as kind."
The Dementors screeched, their language terrible, and to their shock, the Nightmare Lord replied in similar sounds. Neither Elise nor Lucian seemed uncomfortable to walk around the Dementors, but they didn't realize their master's actions as kindness.
"What in the name of Merlin happened to them to make them this way?" Helga wondered.
-o-
The Nightmare Lord kept it together while at the castle, Hogwarts, but the dreams… oh, how he loathed the dreams! He started staying up at night, two nights… anything to be so tired when he slept there was nothing but darkness. Darkness and no dreams.
No dreams of having known the four friends in a different light, as if they had been dead for a long time and he lived in their castle, except he was small and only knew of them as long lost pieces of history. No dreams of Aunt and Uncle, them ready to torture him, lock him up, ignore his very existence. No dreams of a strange redheaded man who reached out a hand, always ready with a smile, a smile the lord had no idea if he deserved.
His head was hurting too, even after he had managed to sleep without dreams. The locks he had put in his head were starting to break. Memories came through, in flashes, and left him screaming in agony, writhing on the floor. He found himself more than once being cradled by his Dementors, them stroking soothing hands through his hair, their voices drowning out odd noises. Their presence meant everything to him.
Elise and Lucian tried to help. They made his favourite foods. Lucian made a drink sweetened with honey; the lord decided he liked it before bed, and Lucian never failed to make it every night. He tolerated them mostly, then came short bursts of intense anger where he wanted everything to disappear.
"I hate being me," the lord moaned. "Dear God, someone, make me disappear!"
"Master…" Elise tried.
He threw a book at her and wailed, hiding his face in his hands. He hadn't meant to do that. His body kept moving on its own, and it only made him feel like shit. He was a horrible, horrible man. He wished he could end it all.
After his third attempt with the knives, Lucian and Elise hid all the knives. He tore through a whole room after that, crawling over broken glass and slicing his skin up. All that was left behind was his blood on the floor, and nothing on his skin. Not even a scar.
So he went back to the unfinished school often, because he felt much calmer there. Elise and Lucian liked it there. He could walk around the grounds for hours without wanting to hurt himself. Sometimes he sprawled down on the grass and felt as if he had done that before, when he was young… despite not remembering a time when he was young. For every time he remembered something, a crack formed somewhere inside his head and it wouldn't heal. One day it would simply crack open; that somewhere in his head and the Nightmare Lord feared that day.
"I'm going mad," he informed Elise one day.
"Master?"
"No, I am mad. But I'm turning madder than usual."
"Do you require anything?"
"Yes, a poison that will actually kill me. Basilisk venom, have I tried basilisk venom?"
"You have, master. You said it tasted lemony, before vomiting for an hour."
"Oh, was that the basilisk venom? Shame; it's supposed to kill normal people."
At least the four friends were entertaining, while he was there. Their slightest actions were making him feel in awe, and then feel stupid about feeling in awe but he returned to them anyway. It was too good of a distraction to get rid of it anyway. Even Helga, the most suspicious one, was warming up to him.
The easiest was Salazar. The man had no great love for Muggles, and the lord didn't feel he had to hold his tongue as much. He was surprised at himself trying to not say certain things about this and that, surprised that he cared what they thought about him.
They still didn't like his Dementors though, not even Salazar. Oh well, no one's perfect. The lord respected their wishes and didn't bring his children into the half-finished castle.
He should have known though to tell the Dementors that, as proved when Rowena gave up a shriek seeing one of the Dementors loitering around the doors to the great hall.
"Oh," the lord said. "Silly creature, what are you doing?"
The Dementor screeched, pawing for his robes and hugging him as he came close enough. Rowena stared at them both.
"I'll just take this one outside, alright?" the Nightmare Lord told her. "Should've mentioned to them they couldn't go inside… yes, yes, silly, we're going. What? No, I'm not doing that. A what? You're a Dementor, how can that scare you?"
The Dementor kept screeching as he walked outside with it, one rotten hand holding onto his robes, and he thought he heard giggling. He turned around, but Rowena had her hand over her mouth and just waved him away. Normally he would've killed people for that. Now he just walked away.
-o-
The stairs… Helga wasn't sure what to make of the stairs. Logic told her she should make them all very clear, allowing the students to go up and down easily to each floor. But logic… there was something… boring about it. Just plain stairs. Maybe decorations on them? Would that be enough? No, something else… moving?
"You should make the stairs move."
Helga jumped and whirled around but the Nightmare Lord only looked at the plans spread out on the table.
"Move?" she said and that felt right. It had been at the forefront at her mind. She still had to ask, though. "Why?"
"Because it would be funny," he replied. "Don't you think it'd be funny?"
She didn't know he had that kind of humour. Sarcasm yes, he seemed to breathe it, but humour like that? It was rather nice to know, however screwed up he was, there was something normal about him.
"Oh. Yes, it does sound funny," she said, because you needed to have fun in a school. It couldn't all be about education. "But students could run late."
Damn you logic for turning against me. She'd rather listen to the lord to be honest.
"They're magical students," he solved for her. "It would be educational, teach them a trick or two."
"Thank you for saying that," she said and smiled. "Okay… moving stairs. Oh, this is going to be fun."
And so Godric put the 'stupid, bloody moving stairs' down as both their fault. Salazar howled with laughter seeing his friend trying to get up to the third floor, all whilst Helga shouted:
"I haven't perfected it yet!"
"I don't know," the Nightmare Lord said, "that looks absolutely perfect. Chaos. I like it."
"Of course you would," she muttered. "If I don't get a hang of it, I'll put it down as your creation and therefore your fault."
"I'd like to see you try, girl."
But he helped her. For a week they perfected the stairs together, both taking credit and Godric resolving to just fly up on a broom.
"You have to try them eventually," the Nightmare Lord said.
Godric did in the end, and got trapped in a fake step. Helga, Rowena and Salazar looked at the lord who shrugged and said:
"It's got to be a bit challenging, right?"
-o-
But as time went by, they noticed something was wrong with the lord. The one they had met in the beginning had mellowed out, perhaps only around them, but now he was listless. He complained about headaches, walked straight into walls because the light hurt his eyes which ended up with him wandering around with his eyes closed.
He was often found outside with his Dementors, them huddling around him, stroking his hair, his back, their wheezing sounds making the four friends' chests ache.
"Is your master quite alright?" Salazar asked Elise one day. It had changed from spring to early autumn since they had met the man, and the days had flown past them all.
"No," she said. "Master hasn't been alright for a long, long time."
"I meant… recently?"
They'd largely given up trying to find out whether the Nightmare Lord was immortal or not. He and the servants spoke as if they were old, but the four friends were hesitant to believe it.
"He has headaches," Elise said. "A lot of them. He says dreams are unpleasant, and master has tried to stop sleeping."
"Why?" Helga wondered.
"Because if master stays up long enough, he has no strange dreams when he collapses," Elise said. "I don't know what will help. Not even potions can make the dreams go away. Master used to be able to sleep for long periods. Days and weeks on end, but he says it doesn't work anymore. Not right now."
They didn't quite know what to say about that, but they could tell Elise was worried. Especially when the lord began to refuse food, and instead flung himself into helping with the castle, by doing the most dangerous parts. He seemed to be thrilled when Godric howled:
"If you walk that way, you can fall and break your neck, you fool of a lord!"
They anxiously watched him move with the grace of a dancer across half-finished walls, Lucian and Elise following his movements with their eyes. The lord never fell. Instead he just kept on working and for the first time, they would have him there at night as well.
"It's probably not what you're used to," Helga said as she showed him a cot they had prepared.
"Oh, I've had much, much worse than this, Helga. This is luxurious in comparison."
He didn't seem to be lying, and lay down on the cot. He smiled.
"Much better than most. Well, my bed is the best but I'm biased."
"I'm quite sure your bed is the best," Helga said. "Sleep well, lord."
"Oh… I hope I don't scream too much."
She thought he was joking. When she was jolted awake later, by the sounds of someone's screaming she didn't think it was the Nightmare Lord at first. But as she moved to the room they had set aside for him, and found Lucian and Elise trying to hold him back from scratching his own face, as he was still screaming, she found out that about such things, the man rarely joked.
When he finally woke up, the lord said nothing. He just curled up on the bed, crying silently as he stared into the wall. He allowed Lucian to gently stroke his back for a bit before growling and getting off the bed. To their surprise, he crawled underneath the bed and screamed:
"If you don't get the lights away, I'll tear out your throats! Go away!"
Elise hurried to drag Lucian away and pushed them all out of the room, then closed the door gently behind her. She listened through it for a while and said:
"We will not go in unless master says we can, or he comes out himself."
"Does he do that every night?" Godric asked.
He, Salazar and Rowena had joined Helga at the door earlier, all of them having witnessed the lord's struggles.
"Every night he tries to sleep anyway," Elise told them.
The Nightmare Lord left in the early morning, when they had once more gone to bed. He didn't come back for days and when he did, he didn't look them in the eyes.
"People have nightmares, you know," Rowena told him.
"It's ironic though, isn't it?" he said. "I'm called the Nightmare Lord, and I dream such things…"
"Who gave you that title?"
"Everyone. I like it you know. It makes people leave me alone. Except for you. You don't fear me."
"In the beginning, we did."
"You didn't show it," he told her. "That's the difference. You feared me, but still stood up. Courage. Not a lot of people have that."
"Are you ever afraid?" she wondered.
"I was once, I think. The memories are gone. I… locked them up. They hurt when they try to come back, so I don't let myself remember." He touched his head. "But nowadays, I fear little. Perhaps too little. Elise and Lucian are scared they'll lose me. Why are they scared of that?"
"You're their master."
"Only because I made them that."
He rarely spoke about it. Rowena wasn't sure what to say to make him continue without making him feel he was forced to speak about it. But she didn't have to say anything. The lord picked up a sharp rock, as they sat near the lake, and continued:
"I tore into their heads and made them mine. I stole their will and forced them to obey me. They say they're loyal, and they are, but not out of their free will."
"They certainly think so."
"Of course they do."
"You really think you control them that well?"
"I don't control them, I changed them. What they feel now is what my magic told them to feel."
Rowena wasn't so sure. She had seen it in them both; their love for their master. Elise worshipped the ground he walked on. Lucian did as well. They went out of their way to make him comfortable, but held back their affection. Perhaps they knew he would be bad at receiving it. But they loved him. As the lord seemed to have little understanding of love, had they come to feel that love naturally? She wondered. She had no idea. Perhaps she'd never know.
She watched him hold the stone tighter, and was then alarmed when she saw the blood. He stopped her from getting up, and turned to her. Rowena wondered how he did not realize he held so many emotions inside himself, how he seemed to think he had no love or compassion.
All she saw now though was a deep sadness in his eyes as he said:
"It heals so quick, don't bother."
"Why are you hurting yourself?"
He dropped the rock and together they watched the small wounds mend themselves, leaving only blood behind.
"It's life," he said. "The sharpness, the blood… it reminds me I'm alive."
-o-
Of course, there always comes a day when it all breaks down. The Nightmare Lord had been behaving more oddly than usual; switching tempers like swift weather changes, hurling insults only to retreat and beat his fists bloody against castle walls. It was like that night, when they had heard him scream himself awake from nightmares, had changed something. He had become unhinged.
He was not a friend, not yet, but he was approaching that stage where they all would call him friend. Having seen a glimpse of the good man he could be, he had since vanished into insanity. He didn't hurt Elise or Lucian. Instead they found him that day carving wounds into his arms, and when he saw them, he only laughed. A laugh that reminded the four friends of the man they had met at first, the man who felt nothing when hurting others.
"He's mad," Godric said. "Completely mad. Yet at the same time, he's not. How can he be so different, depending on the hour?"
By the time Elise had finished wrapping up his injured arms, the Nightmare Lord was howling at the wall, clawing at his head, and begging someone to just tear his heart out.
"It won't help," Lucian tried.
"It'll distract me!" the lord yelled at him. "It's going to open if I'm not distracted!"
"What will open?" Rowena asked.
He visibly pulled himself together somewhat, even if his fingers kept twitching. He pulled at the bandages; Lucian dared to slap his hands away. The lord thrummed on top of his thighs, humming, glancing around wildly. Then he flung himself from the chair and raced around the castle. He was up a wall, then down a hallway, then at the moving stairs, then curling up in the darkness of the underground levels. When Salazar found him in one of the rooms, the lord said:
"Will there be potions taught?"
"Yes. I believe it will."
"Oh… this is a good room for it," the lord said. "I remember it."
"What?"
"Nothing," he said and sat up. "Nothing at all."
"As you wish, lord," Salazar said, not wanting to upset him. "Potions room, huh? Yes, I can see why; it's good ventilation despite it being underground. The fumes would rise upwards, not gather."
"Right?" the lord said. "The desk up there, something to write on… you'll need a storage room."
"Over there," Salazar said, pointing at the far end of the room to the left.
"Oh yes, there's perfect."
"Are you feeling better, lord?"
The Nightmare Lord scratched at the bandages, but didn't try to do anything more. He was twitching gently where he stood.
"It's opening," he said.
"What is opening?" Salazar asked.
"The… the part of my head."
"Your head?"
"Things I made myself forget, they're… coming."
Why did he sound so frightened of it? When Salazar mentioned this, Rowena said:
"He said something similar not too long ago. He seems to have locked away memories from when he was younger. He said they hurt him, so he didn't want to remember."
"But if they torment him so now…" Godric said. "Wouldn't it be better to remember, and then deal with it?"
Helga nodded. Salazar was a bit more hesitant but the other three charged on. The Nightmare Lord had been persuaded outside, where he now stood looking up at the castle walls. The bandages were gone, the wounds dark against his pale skin. His clear, green eyes sought them out as they came wandering closer, and he bared his teeth. But he didn't flee.
"Lord, your memories pain you," Helga said. "Don't they?"
"Torment is my usual mood," he said and then laughed, before hitting himself on the leg. He stopped laughing and looked everywhere but them. "Yes, they hurt."
"Is it because you hold them back?"
"It hurts, so I keep it away," he told her. "They are hurting me, so I locked them away."
"But it hurts to keep them away, don't they?"
"I don't know! I hate them. I hate everything!"
The magic tore up, and was then pushed down. He gripped his hair and moved away from them. Never before had he looked so small in their eyes, so small and frightened.
Helga began to move forward when blood started to drip of the lord's nose. He himself seemed surprised with it. He coughed, and blood came out of his mouth. Then he screamed. He screamed and held onto his head and began trashing around. He stumbled backwards, away from the castle, his Dementors unable to get near him.
Now the magic roared, became light and dark and they had never seen a power display like that. The magic was wild, like its master. The lord screamed and howled and more blood was falling.
Then with a crack, he disappeared.
"Where did he go?" Helga called out to Lucian and Elise.
"He must have gone home," Elise said.
"Take us there!"
Elise grabbed onto Godric and Rowena, and Lucian took Salazar's and Helga's arms. Then they experienced the strangest way of travelling yet. It felt tight, yet they saw how they travelled a great distance. Their entire body was squeezed, compressed and then put back.
What they stood in front of was not a mere house. It was something far greater. Towers ascending towards the sky, stones dark with age, doors torn off their hinges. Lucian and Elise were already running. Helga followed and was the first of the four friends to enter the Nightmare Lord's home.
She had never before seen a home like his. The walls were covered in wood and fabrics. There were no paintings. Instead there were shelves here and there. On one there were jars, filled with things she'd rather not think about.
Instead she, and now the other three, heard crashing sounds and found their way into what seemed to be a living area. It had places to sit, and the lord was tearing through the room, screaming and bleeding. He sobbed as he clutched at his head. Elise tried to get close only to be thrown up against the wall, her arm breaking. Lucian withdrew and Rowena rushed over to help Elise.
The lord fell to the ground, shaking and clawing at his arms.
"Make it stop, make it stop, make him go away!"
The magic felt hot against their faces. Elise pushed them back as the magic took shape, became a man. They saw no face on the person, and they didn't understand him but from the way the lord shrank back and screamed even wilder, it wasn't a person he wanted to see.
The man was widely built and his face became clear. His small, beady eyes locked onto the Nightmare Lord. He began to yell, shaking his meaty fists and the lord kept twitching. As the man continued to scream and scream, the mouth turned into blackness, and his eyes turned large and glowing red. Somehow Helga understood this was Uncle, this was the demon in the lord's dreams, a man turned into a monster perhaps by the years and abuse that never healed. A family member who had done nothing good to or for the lord.
The man vanished, was replaced by a woman, by Aunt, her face emaciated but her screaming just as loud and the Nightmare Lord tore through her with magic before falling back, panting hard. Blood was still coming out of his nose.
"I hate them, I hate them I hate them I hate them…" he mumbled. "Muggles, all of them, they're the same… just the same as Aunt and Uncle…"
"He hunted Muggles purely because of that?" Rowena said. "What in the name of Merlin did those two do to him?"
"Perhaps his mind made them worse than what they were," Godric said. "If he doesn't remember what they truly were, they could have become anything in his head."
"He needs to remember," Rowena said.
"When it pains master this much?" Lucian said. "Are you mad?"
"He's the one who's gone mad because of this! Don't you want him to remember?"
"Not when it hurts him!"
The Nightmare Lord dragged himself up, coughing and gagging, tearing down vases and books as he dragged himself away from them.
"Lord," Rowena said. "Lord, you need to remember. Don't you get tired of this, not knowing?"
"It hurts to know!" he yelled at her. "It pains… oh, it hurts… I made myself forget! I know that much, I know I had to forget or I'd go… I'd go mad, knowing… knowing what?"
He wailed as new pain seemed to attack him. He tore at a chest and the contents spilled out. A strange cloak, shimmering and disappearing, then wands; three of them. Finally, a stone. Its blackness was enchanting, and it spun around on the floor.
"You still need to remember, because not remembering has driven you mad!" Rowena urged.
"No, I can't… I can't remember! I need to close it, the lock, lock them all away again!"
The stone shone on the floor. They had never seen anything like it again. The wands moved as well, reacting to his magic. The lord owned three wands? Had he won them? They hadn't known him that long, but they had never seen him with a wand.
"Remembering shouldn't hurt!" Rowena said.
"Sometimes you need to remember," Godric said. "Locking it all up doesn't seem to have done you much good."
This time the magic tore through some of the fabrics by the windows, ripping them in half, and when the Nightmare Lord looked at them the blood was coming from his eyes as well. He slammed his head against the floor, crying, beating his fists bloody and raw.
From the stone, there came a small light. Somehow the lord saw it and he grabbed the stone. As he held it, the despair vanished from his face, and he stared down at the stone. A string of saliva mixed with blood fell from his mouth. He slowly dragged himself to a sitting position.
"Lord?" Helga ventured, taking a step closer despite Elise's soft noise of warning.
"So familiar… forest, death… why did I return…?"
His hand closed tighter over the stone and he looked at them.
"Why do you want me to remember?" he asked, blood forming tears on his face.
The Nightmare Lord, so proud and neat the first time they saw him, was a mess. Bloody and beaten, he sat limply on the floor, hand closed over a stone they had no idea was anything else but a mere stone.
"Because it hurts you not to," Salazar said. "We care. Lucian and Elise care. They, nor us, want to see you in this great pain anymore."
"Why? I am a monster. I have killed so many people. I don't regret it. Killing a child means nothing to me. I laugh in their parents' faces."
"Lord, please," Helga said. "You haven't done that in a while. You are… becoming something else."
"I don't want to be something else! I'm me!"
"Are you really? If you don't remember your past, who you used to be…" Rowena said. "How can you know you're yourself?"
He stared at her. Then they heard a click, like a lock turning. For a moment the lord was still. Then his eyes widened and he screamed, falling back and trashing around. Blood flowed anew and the only thing he seemed to hold onto was that small stone. He slammed his head again.
"Someone stop him from doing that!" Salazar said. "He'll break his skull!"
But try as they might, the magic wouldn't let them come close. Eventually he stopped and the stone fell from his slackened grip. The lord was bloody but his eyes remained open. As he looked at them, his eyes slid somewhere behind them and they saw his body relax. Before they could walk up to him and see he was alright, the lord said:
"George…?"
They turned around and there was a ghost standing in the entrance to the room. Despite him behind transparent, they could see the vibrant red hair, the colours of his robe. The ghost was of a young man with a missing ear, and he smiled to the Nightmare Lord.
"Thought you'd never remember me," he said. "It's been a while, friend."
His words were odd. They understood him, more or less, but he spoke differently from them.
"George," the lord said, "it hurts… it hurts so much."
"I know."
The ghost moved past them and kneeled down by the lord's side, not able to touch yet unable to stay away.
"Breathe now, mate. Breathe, that's it… just focus on breathing for me, alright?"
The general meaning got across, but the lord seemed to have switched to the same strangeness as the ghost. It was a version of English the four friends had never come across before.
"George," the lord said. "You didn't have to die… everything went wrong, back then… you didn't have to die for me."
"I know that too. It doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again. My body moved on my own. You are worth saving."
"But I can't… not even back then, I couldn't…"
The lord was shuddering, fighting to breathe and George said:
"Come on now, don't… I can't help you here… where are the Dementors?"
As if on command, the creatures began filtering in. A few of them screeched softly when they spotted George, petting the air around him, greeting him like they sometimes greeted the Nightmare Lord.
"Who is that ghost?" Godric asked Elise.
"I have never seen him before," Elise told him.
"Hey, come on, help him sit up…"
The Dementors were gentle. They stroke away the blood from the lord's face, hugged him to their chests and acted even closer to him than before. The Nightmare Lord relaxed in their embrace and looked at George. It was as if those who had forgotten everyone else.
"You're see-through," the lord said and laughed a bit. He looked more sad than happy though.
"What a greeting. Thanks, you great, big prat."
"I bet I can stick my hand through your head."
"I bet I can do the same," George replied.
"Yeah… you can."
The lord reached out a hand, but not enough so that it would actually go through George.
"Who is he, lord?" Salazar eventually said.
Both the lord and George turned to look at them.
"He's my friend," the lord said, eyes sliding back to George. "He died for me. I realized something and I… I couldn't live with myself remembering how he didn't need to die. How his death was unnecessary."
"I still would've done it," George said. "I've said it so many times… I'd do anything for you."
The lord bent forward, freeing himself from the Dementors. He shuddered, and they saw the tears fall down to the floor. George's hand hovered near his shoulder.
"But I'm sorry I'm not here, for real," he continued. "I wanted to take care of you. You and me, mate, in that house… if only they hadn't thought what they did."
The lord just kept on crying, eventually laying himself down on the floor. They couldn't see his face, but George turned to them.
"Um…" Godric began.
"I know who you are," George said. "Just because he didn't call on me, didn't mean I didn't watch over him. I did. Every day. He made himself forget but I never stopped watching over him."
"Who were you to him?" Rowena asked. "Just a friend?"
"Not just a friend, I suppose. More like a brother. I know I saw him as my brother. He's all grown up now though."
"You died for him," Helga said. "Why?"
"Because I'll always die for him. If I'm ever born again, I'll live and die for him. Because that's how much I want him to live."
"Some consider him a monster," Salazar said.
"I don't care," George said. "Can you leave? I want to spend some time alone with him. Oi, one of you… yeah, whoever… get him a blanket."
One of the Dementors retrieved one and spread it over the lord, who refused to look at them. George didn't turn back to them again, and Elise and Lucian left the room as well. One of the Dementors closed the doors.
"Was it a good thing, what we did?" Salazar wondered.
"I have no idea," Helga confessed. "It sounded good, but now… Elise, your arm?"
"It's fine."
"We'll… go. Let him recover for a while. Come to the castle when he wants to see us again. Or rather, come as often as you'd like."
Elise and Lucian nodded.
"We can bring you back to the castle," Elise said.
"That might be a good idea."
They left the lord and the ghost behind.
-o-
The lord was watching George and had been doing that for the past fifteen minutes. One of his hands lay near George's knee, not quite touching. It had been so long, so, so long since he had seen George's face. Since he remembered George and knew his name. The mysterious redhead that calmed him down in some dreams, made him want to die in others. George, who didn't have to die for the Nightmare lord, because he was an immortal man even back then.
"I wish there was a future where you didn't die," he said eventually. "Not you… not Fred, and not in those ways."
"Lots of big wishes, I hear."
"Wishing is alright, isn't it? To think, I could still wish for such things."
"You're different."
"Do you hate it?" the lord wondered. "Do you hate what I've become?"
"No," George admitted. "You're you. No matter what you do, I will still be on your side. Hey, call on Fred too. I bet he's really pissed off you only called on me, since he's been waiting as long as me to talk to you."
"Really?"
"Yeah! When you stopped calling on us, we freaked out. It took us a while to realize you made yourself forget us, and everything. But you still kept our ashes safe."
"I did…" the lord fumbled for the stone and then held it tightly. "It was important, I knew that much. Sometimes I got angry. I knew it was important, but I didn't remember why."
A shape took form, and Fred dropped down in front of the lord.
"Hey, why did you only call on George? No fair!"
"Sorry… I just remembered… I couldn't think about anything else."
"Told you, he loves me more," George said.
"No, he doesn't!" Fred protested. "By the way, mate, you look like shit."
"I'm pretty," the Nightmare Lord said, "so shut it."
Their laughs were better than any healing spell. The warmth, the familiarity… so many things had changed, yet the twins were still themselves. He wanted to touch them. He wanted to touch them so badly. Instead he tightened his hand and looked at them argue.
He didn't even notice passing out.
-o-
The door opened and both Elise and Lucian leapt up, having returned after helping the four friends back to Hogwarts. The ghost peeked outside and saw them.
"Just help him to bed, alright?" the ghost said. "He kind of passed out on us."
"Us?"
Elise came in first and saw another ghost near her master, his hand hovering as if he wanted to touch but knowing he couldn't. It was more painful than she could have imagine, seeing that.
"It's us, by the way."
"What?" she said.
"In the container he hoards," the ghost next to her said. It was the one from before, the one with a missing ear. "The ashes, it's us. What's left of us anyway."
"It's your ashes?"
"Yeah. He wanted to keep us with him no matter what."
Her master had never looked as tired as he did not, curled up on the floor. But he was breathing deeply, and easy. He seemed so sad, yet so content.
"He remembers now. Don't expect him to speak about it, but… I think you'll see a great change in behaviour in him."
The two ghosts, they looked like brothers, soon vanished and Elise and Lucian were careful to not wake their master up while getting him to bed. Lucian took the container with ashes and placed it right next to the bed, along with the small, black stone he had found near their master. Elise tucked the Nightmare Lord in and couldn't help but stroke away some of his hair from his face.
"Should we clean up?" Lucian wondered.
"No."
She had seen more things she'd never seen before. Things she wasn't sure what to do with, and those things would stay exactly where their master had left them until he decided where to put them himself. They'd clean up the blood at the most.
"Should we stay?" he asked.
"In here?" Elise wondered.
"He was in so much pain before…"
"I think we can stay."
I think you'll see a great change in behaviour in him. What did the ghost mean by that? Would their master act strange? He also said master remembered. What, the past? His whole past, even the parts he said he had locked away? Elise wasn't sure what to do.
So instead they settled down next to the bed, on chairs, and watched their master sleep the first, calm sleep in many years.
To be continued…
He remembers!
Chapter twenty-two: The four friends gets to know the Nightmare Lord who remembers his past. But more importantly, what the hell did he just call that dead corpse?
Until later,
Tiro