Alaia Skyhawk: So, how many of your are wondering who "Katia" is, hmmm? Well, all I will say is that she is a central figure in an upcoming story in my A Question of Series. When I will be doing that fic, and how many years into the future-timeline it will be set, you'll just have to wait and find out. I won't be posting that fic, even though I have several chapters written, until the show officially reaches its end :P
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Music: N/A
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Chapter 21: A Choice of Fate ~Part 2~
The following day, Merlin vanished into his workroom, having feined cheerfulness only for as long as he was within sight of the king having been invited to breakfast with him. Down there, with only his wyvern for company, the warlock then sat and brooded over the thoughts that had plagued him since last night.
Arthur would call him an idiot, and Gaius would call him a fool, for deliberately seeking out such a vision. But the choice had been his, and he'd said he would accept the price of having the knowledge. And while it was a heavy price, to have lived the grief of Arthur's death and know that one day he would have to live it again, it did come with a reward of sorts... Kilgharrah had been right... A wide man doesn't let himself be cowed by knowledge.
Merlin sighed, pilling his scrying dish towards him. He then called up an image of Mordred, before reaching out with his magic to speak into the young man's mind.
'Mordred, I need to speak to you. Head down the main stairwell to the lower levels, and take the passage opposite the one to the dungeons. I'll guide you from there.'
He saw Mordred frown at the request, hesitate, and then turn to head to the place described. That frown remained in place as he was led into the maze of the lower levels, and it only deepened when he was told to stop in a seemingly empty hallway.
That is until Merlin went to his workroom door, cast the spell that would unlock it to allow a non-Brotherhood individual in, and stepped out into that hallway.
Mordred jolted in surprise at his sudden apperance, and frowned.
"What do you want?"
The warlock stepped back into the apparent wall, and waved for the younger sorcerer to follow.
"Come in here, and I'll tell you." Mordred reluctantly followed, only to pause in surprise at the sight of all the shelves of spellbooks, jars of herbs, boxes of materials, and plethora of magical tools and equipment. Merlin took note of that surprise, and shrugged. "My workroom. I'm not publically the Court Sorcerer yet, so I be keeping all this down here for a little while longer. The wyvern's name is Geleaffriou; I raised her from when she was a hatchling. Her son, Scilderether, is probably in the cavern."
Friou sensed her master's agitation, and grumbled softly in warning but otherwise offered no aggression towards the visitor.
Mordred eyed her for a moment, and then folded his arms across his chest.
"So are you going to tell me what it is you wanted to talk about?"
Merlin sighed, turned, and sat down in the nearest chair. If he wanted that second image, from the vision, to be the one that would be, then this conversation had to happen. It was the Old Magic's one clue, one gift of chance, to change things to a hopefully brighter future for the youth and the people around him.
Mordred might be destined to be Arthur's demise one way or another, but his path there was not set in stone. There was a chance to save him from the darkness, and after his failure in saving Morgana, Merlin was taking it.
"First and foremost, I want to explain something to you. I want to tell you why I hesitated back then, to come and pull out the grate when Arthur broke you from the dungeons to return you to the Druids."
Mordred looked confused.
"That was a long time ago. What has it got to do with now?"
"Everything." Merlin glanced at him, solemn. "I hesitated to come, because of something the Great Dragon, Kilgharrah, told me about your future. But a wise man shouldn't let himself be ruled by fear of what is to come, and that is something I failed to do back then. I failed again, when taking back the Crystal of Neatid, and before you say anything I would like to point out that Alvarr is a notorious manipulator. If you've asked anyone in the magical community about him since then, those that know of him can tell you that. He was using you and Morgana for his own gains, and he needed to be stopped... but I'm not going to use that as an excuse for what I did to you. I used my magic to try and stop you from runing away, and if you'd been captured because of me then your death would have been on my hands... I accept responsibility for that, Mordred, and while I know you may never forgive me, you have my word that I will everything in my power to attone for it."
Mordred at last found his voice. Whatever anger he may have felt at this conversation, drowned out beneath his confusion.
"Why are you telling me this?"
Merlin waited a moment, and then smiled sadly.
"Because you still have a choice where your life will lead... Your destination is set, just as mine and Arthur's are set, but like us, you still have the ability to decide how it is you will arrive at it. I know a bond exists between you and Morgana, a thread of fate. I believe you are destined to aid her at least for a time, but that doesn't matter to me. I will make no direct attempt to change your fate, because it is not my right to do so... But I do know that it is my right to give to you the chance of a different path to reach it... It is up to you if you choose to accept that gift or not."
Mordred now looked utterly confused.
"What in the name of the Old Magic are you talking about?"
Merlin regarded Mordred as someone would regard a younger brother, thinking about all that he had learnt from himself at the Crystal Cave
"A gift of prophecy, and a future I have seen... I learnt the hard way a few years ago, that some things cannot be changed and that you should not even try. If you attempt to do so, fate will always find a way, just as it does with Morgana. She seeks to be Queen of Camelot, and yet every time she grasps the throne is it ripped away from her shortly thereafter. She flails against fate; she who sees more of the future than any of the rest of us are ever likely to, and yet she understands nothing of the rules of prophesy. If the glimpse of her future, that I have seen from her dreams, is any indication then she never will understand. She will fight fate, and fail, until the end of her days. For that I pity her, but for you my hand of friendship will be always waiting until the day you make your choice."
He sat down again, while Mordred watched him in thoughtful silence. And then he too sat, after pulling a chair over opposite the one in which the warlock was seated.
"I think I understand what you're saying, that you've seen evil in my future but know that I can still turn aside from it... But why should I? Why should I trust someone who betrayed me, who betrayed every belief I had in him as a boy?"
Merlin sighed, wistful.
"Because when I look at you, I still remember that frightened little boy who called out for help. The little boy whose cries I answered, and who in the end I chose to save despite being told what you were fated for... I don't regret that choice. Not then, not now, and not with what I've learnt. If you do decide to be Camelot's enemy and side with Morgana, then that is your decision to make."
His smile softened. "But even so, I'm still choosing to save you, right now..." Merlin glanced over at Friou, who at the unspoken request came over to be petted. "I will continue to choose that, and to prove to you that I'm worthy of your faith, for as long as it takes."
Mordred watched that quiet moment, knowing that the man before him had said all he was going to say.
The sorcerer-knight left the workroom, hearing the spell-lock snap shut as soon as he was out in the passage again, and made his way back to the upper levels. Returning to his chambers, where like Merlin was doing in the workroom, he mulled over the many thoughts now running through his mind.
What would he do? Just what was it that Merlin had seen of the future? What would make him offer the hand of friendship to someone he knew full well could become his enemy?
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The time passed by in the quiet of his workroom, until Merlin was forced to come out to attend the announcement in the central courtyard. He remained distracted throughout the entirety of Arthur's speech about how it had been proven now that those with magic can live peacefully within laws to govern them, and that it was time Camelot accept their return. There had been a mixture of cheers and uncertain silence among the citizens that had gathered below, but no protests. Arthur had done his work well in easing the people back into supporting magic instead of fearing it.
When the announcement was over, Merlin retreated once again, this time to his chambers. And there he sat for the rest of the day, lost in thought, until as evening neared the door opened and Gaius came in.
The physician gave Merlin a knowing look, and came over to sit with him near the fire in the hearth.
"What is it, Merlin? Arthur may have been too busy to notice you're brooding, but I'm not. You're hiding something."
Merlin returned that look and considered denying it, but then a raised eyebrow from his mentor made him relent with a sigh.
"I've had some visions of the future, Mordred and Arthur's future. The first was shown to me by a dying vates on the way to Ismere, and the others I saw when I went to the Crystal Cave last night."
Gaius stared at him.
"You went to the Cave seeking a vision of the future. What future?"
"Arthur's destined day to die..."
Utter silence fell, as Gaius stared at Merlin in horror.
"You... Why? Why seek that, Merlin? Is Mordred some sort of threat?"
Merlin remained eerily calm, having already come to terms with what he'd seen.
"Yes and no... He is the one who will ultimately kill Arthur, in about twenty years, but whether he does it out of hate or it happens by accident will be down to me. Down to whether I mend his faith in me, or if I abandon him to darkness, because if I treat him like an enemy, then he will become one. That's what I was told... That's what the man I met at the Cave said to me, when he explained what I'd been shown. That it was up to me to shape Mordred, and that I am the pivot around which Mordred's path revolves."
Gaius started to frown.
"You met someone at the Cave? Who?"
Merlin took a deep breath before he answered.
"Myself... from far enough into my future that Arthur had completed his destiny and was dead."
Gaius stared at him, aghast.
"Yourself? How is that even possible? Are you sure?"
Merlin nodded.
"I'm sure. He was old, as old as I am when I disguise my age, and he knew exactly what had brought me to the cave and what I'd seen. His magic was mine and mine was his, I could feel that, and deep down I just knew he really was an echo of me from the future... Like how I met that echo of Taliesin from the past. My future self said I'd know when the day comes, when I will be him and I will be the one to speak to the me I am now, but I don't know how I'd know."
Gaius let out a long sigh, thinking it over..
"Did he say anything else?
Merlin frowned.
"He did mention that he couldn't talk for longer, because he was expecting a visit from a supporter of magic called Katia, but I can't see how that's important."
Gaius nodded.
"Ah, then you do know, or rather you will when the day comes that you know who she is and when she'll cross your path."
Merlin stared at him, before letting out a groan.
"A riddle... Am I really going to end up as bad as Kilgharrah for not giving a straight answer?"
The two of them remained unmoving, until Gaius shook his head in wonderment.
"I still find it incredibly odd in the very least, that you actually met your own future self. It seems to go against all the laws of magic that I have ever known... But then, whenever have the usual rules of magic applied to you?"
That made Merlin smile wryly.
"Never." He sighed. "But there was something else about the future me, in the way he looked at me. It was almost as if he knew something that I haven't learnt yet, that he envied me for not knowing."
Gaius reached over to place a hand on Merlin's arm, reassuring.
"Don't dwell on it. There isn't a person alive who reaches old age, without experiencing things that they envy their past selves for not knowing. It's all a part of growing old."
Merlin sighed.
"But why do I feel that, when I grow old, I'll have more to envy my past self for than anyone else?"
Gaius stood and pulled Merlin to his feet.
"And I told you not to dwell on it." He smiled. "Well I'd best be off, and you need to know that Arthur wants you to visit the nearby Druid camps in the morning. Some of them will have recieved word right away about the lifting of the ban, but the rest will need to be told. I should think that hearing that news from Emrys, will make very them very happy."
Merlin smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, it would." He looked towards the window, and saw that it was starting to get dark. Warren would be heading to the kitchens soon. "Do you want to have supper with me? You'll be your own otherwise, unless Liam decides the spend the night in the castle instead."
That last part was said with a grin, and Gaius chuckled.
"And if by that you are refering to him staying out of earshot of his son, then he is making use of my spare room fairly often as of late, but that's only because Elias isn't sleeping through the night yet. The physician's craft is very precise, and working while suffering from lack of sleep would leave him prone to mistakes. Hana understands, and no, Liam isn't here. Hana wanted to celebrate the lifting of the law, along with Alan and his family, so Liam will be having his supper there tonight."
Merlin nodded in understanding, and got up to get a bronze ring from his desk. It was plain, and he only wore it while in the castle, but the Speaking Spell that connected it to the matching ring that Warren wore, made it execptionally easy to get in touch with the servant.
Merlin put the ring on and spoke quietly, having learnt that Warren was easily startled by disembodied instructions even after months of wearing his, and that was after spending three weeks convincing him to put it on at all.
"Warren, I need you to bring supper for two up to my chambers." Merlin then sighed as he ended the spell, and returned to his seat near Gaius. "While I didn't want a servant at the time, I won'rt deny it has it's advantages. At least Warren is used to my magic now."
Gaius leaned back in his chair, thoughtful.
"Speaking of which... I know that you've told the Knights you have magic, but do you intend to tell everyone else?"
Merlin grimaced and shook his head.
"One step at a time, Gaius. I'll probably tell the Council in a few days, and once they're used it I'll just let people notice me using magic for themselves. Once one of the servants spots me using it, it won't take long for the news to spread, and it would be better that way than a formal announcement making a big deal out of it."
"True."
The two of them continued to talk after Warren arrived with their supper, and well after the time he'd cleared the plates away and gone to bed. But by the time Gaius left and Merlin finally went to bed, he was feeling much better even if the visions of Arthur's death still played before his eyes in his sleep. That was something he was just going to have to live with, as part of the price for seeking those visions at all.
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Alaia Skyhawk: Yes, Liam has an infant son! And he named him after his deceased brother, Elias, from Whom History Won't Remember. With the length of time Liam and Hana have been married in my timeline, it was by and time they had a kid considering that Arthur and Gwen have Balther and they've not been married for as long.
And, as you guys may have noticed, Merlin is having to go through some major changes of perception in this sub-ep. Meeting his future self, having to come to terms with knowing exactly how Arthur will one day die, and resolving to face the task of saving Mordred from himself, has forced the part of Merlin that is Emrys, to age even further ahead of his years.
He's coming closer and closer to the being the great and wise warlock he's destined to be, and I felt that this was a good point to show that, because it means he's having to learn to look at the world in a much more detatched way (And trust me, this is very significant for his development with what I have planned for later sub-eps).