Wow. That took a really long time. Sorry. Couldn't seem to focus on this one until about one o'clock this morning. Hey, who needs sleep anyway?

Chapitre Vingt

"Is this absolutely necessary?"

Alice sighed and removed the pins from her mouth. "Yes, it absolutely is."

"The dress looks fine already. How much more is there to alter?"

"I will have you know," Alice replied with a huff, "that this dress looks more than fine, it look positively beautiful. However, it isn't perfect. Yet. Just a few tucks here and there and it will be perfect."

"You know I'm just going to trip and rip it."

"I know no such thing. I would know if you hadn't insisted on inviting the pack to your engagement party."

"I grew up with them, Alice. It would hardly be fair to leave them out when the rest of the town is invited."

"I know, I know. I just get frustrated not knowing what is going to happen."

"Now you know how the rest of us feel."

"Hmph. Well, I don't like it. Now stop talking, you're distracting me."

I relapsed into silence. She was driving me up the wall. I almost wished I had turned Edward down. Then she wouldn't be so enthusiastic in her in planning.

The door to my room opened. Edward's head peeked in, then quickly retreated. "Sorry!"

"It's not my wedding dress, relax."

He returned sheepishly. "I just don't want to see it before our wedding."

"You're a mind reader, I don't think you can avoid it."

"He will if he knows what's good for him," Alice retorted from somewhere near my ankles.

"What are you doing down there?" Edward asked incredulously. "And why is Bella on this stand." He walked closer to me. I was taller than him.

"I'm finishing her dress, and she is on the stand to make it easier for me."

"Her dress is finished," Edward said with a note of finality.

"I don't believe it is, dear brother," Alice responded primly.

"Oh, what are you doing but evening the hem a millimeter? Wouldn't you rather play the harp? So that she can practice dancing in that beautiful dress?"

Alice sprang to her feet with a delighted clap, "Oh, that's a marvelous idea."

And it was sad, but I had sunk so low that dancing really did sound like a marvelous idea. Dancing with Edward, anyway. I dreaded having to dance with anyone else.

With Alice's approval, Edward had me off the stand in a flash. "We'll meet you in the ballroom."

"Sounds good. I'll grab my harp and be there in a flash."

Edward laughed and swung me up in his arms, much to my dismay. Of course, he ignored my shrieks to put me down. We were in the ballroom before I could catch my breath.

He set me down with a chuckle at my breathless state. He chuckled again when my somewhat annoyed expression turned to sheer horror.

"This place is terrifying." And it was. Someone, Alice probably, had decorated the ballroom.

"What did you expect? The party is tomorrow. Did you really think Alice would let this go without decorating every part of the house that the humans, er, the people might visit?"

"I guess not. But it's just so much." The floor was polished, rich fabric hung off the walls, and the edges of the room were filled with tables that were ornately covered as well. Each table had a beautiful tablecloth and an elaborate centerpiece.

"It's not that bad, Bella," Edward gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "Alice made sure to keep all wild impulses under control. She wanted fountains and swans."

"I do appreciate the effort. I guess I just don't understand why it all is necessary. The party, I mean. Isn't the wedding and reception enough?"

"It's expected of us. Besides, I thought you were excited for our marriage?" He pouted at me dramatically.

"The marriage I'm excited for. The wedding and all related festivities, not so much. I hate being the center of attention."

Edward drew me into a comforting embrace. "It's just two days. Tomorrow and then the wedding, that's all."

"And after that?" We had not talked much about post-wedding plans. The Cullens couldn't stay in one place too long – people got suspicious. So we'd have to leave eventually. I just didn't know when or to where.

"Well, there is typically a honeymoon. What would you like to do for that?"

I paused a moment. "I think three days of screaming agony would work for me." Three torturous days followed by a forever of Edward.

Edward started to chuckle, then he stopped sharp and pulled back to look down at me. "You're serious."

"As serious as a wolf attack."

He allowed himself a small smirk at that one. He quickly sobered though. "We've discussed this already. I won't damn you to a life of blood."

"I'm marrying you, aren't you? I hate to point this out, but isn't that a life of blood? Life with seven vampires will have plenty of blood in it. Seven wonderful, loving, noble, lovable vampires to be sure, but vampires nonetheless. And besides, a marriage should be between equals. You can't surpass me all the time."

"I could never surpass you. And I could never take your life or your humanity or your soul."

"Overrated," I argued. "Why would I want those when I could have you for all eternity?"

"A fair question, Edward." Alice glided in, carrying her giant harp in one hand as though it was nothing. "What good is human life to her? It can only bring her sadness and death, with some ill health and misery along the way."

Edward turned on her, aghast. "What are you saying, Alice?"

"I'm saying that if you don't turn her, I will. After your wedding night, of course. I'll let you have your primae noctis before I bite her."

"How very kind," Edward sneered sarcastically.

"Thank you, Alice," I responded sincerely, my cheeks more scarlet than ever at the mention of my wedding night.

"Can we just drop it for now?" Edward spat out between gritted teeth.

"For now," Alice replied while setting up her harp. "But the wedding is in five weeks. You are running out of time."

Edward turned back to me with a forced smile. I hid my hurt feelings and smile back. "I love you."

His smile turned genuine. "I love you too." He pulled me back into his arms, after an appreciate look at my dress. "And I love that color on you, as you've heard me say."

And so the matter was dropped. For now. "The color was my one stipulation for the dress."

"Thank you." Edward nodded at Alice and music filled the room.

We danced for a while and I practiced dancing without being completely intertwined with my partner. I would have to dance with people other than Edward tomorrow, something I did not relish.

As we left the ballroom, finished for the evening, I asked Alice a question that had been bothering me for a while.

"So, that whole preparing me to dance with someone thing, the someone was Edward, right?"

"Of course."

"So what were you preparing us for? We dance frequently."

"Well, your wedding, silly. I knew he'd want to dance with you all night at the reception and never let you out of his arms. So you'd need to know how to dance."

I sighed. "Devious pixie. You knew we were going to fall in love all along, didn't you?"

"Well, yes. Did you expect any less? I am a fortune-teller, after all." She laughed and flitted away.

I sighed again. She was impossible.

The rest of the evening passed peacefully. I ate and the rest of the Cullens gathered for our traditional evening of talking and laughing and fellowship.

When everyone had departed to their respective rooms, I decided it was time for me to ask Edward some questions that had been bothering me.

He was waiting for me in my bed as usual when I finished changing in my washroom. He had put out all the candles except the one by my bed.

I climbed into bed and nestled against him. He went to snuff the remaining candle, but I stopped him.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said in response to his questioning gaze. "About the subject we were discussing in the ballroom earlier."

"Can't we talk about this tomorrow night?" he pleaded plaintively. "You have a busy day tomorrow and I want you to be well-rested."

I shook my head. "No. It has to be tonight. I… I just feel like if we don't talk about it now, we won't ever be able to. It's crazy, I know, but it's just this nagging feeling that won't go away. So, please?"

Edward bowed his head in defeat. "Of course." He sat up and pulled me up so that we were sitting facing each other. "What is it, love?"

"I just, I guess I just wanted to know, truly, why you don't want to turn me." I lowered my head abashedly.

"I've told you, Bella. I love you too much to condemn you to the life of a vampire." He lifted my chin gently. "What's wrong?"

As always, his golden eyes got me to say what I was trying not to. "It's not that you won't love me without my scent and my warmth and my humanity?"

Edward looked horrified. "Of course not! If anything, you'll be easier to love, since I won't have to worry about losing control and killing you or accidentally crushing your skull."

I relaxed. "Really?"

He pulled me against him. "Of course. I'll always love you. Hell, I'd love you even if you were a werewolf and smelled terrible and shed on the carpets."

I laughed. He always knew the right thing to say. "Now that is saying something."

"You have no idea." He kissed the top of my head before pulling away from me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Why do you want to be a vampire so badly?"

I stared up at him in surprise. "So I can be with you, silly, forever."

"You don't just want the immortality?"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his face so that he would look at me. "What use is forever without you? I want you, you wretched, perfect man. I want to never have to grow old and die and leave you alone. And if you run off with the gypsies, I want to be fast enough to catch up."

His face lit up in a brilliant smile and he gave a delighted laugh. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled. "I love you, Edward."

"Good to hear. Now will you go to sleep?"

"Yes."

He snuffed out the last candle and settled me against him. I drifted off to sleep to the sound of his gentle humming.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"Good day, thank you so much for joining us." I curtsied and welcomed yet another unwelcome guest. None of these people had been kind to me as I grew up, why should I welcome them into my home?

Edward's cool hand on my waist reminded me to keep calm. True ladies never showed unpleasant emotions.

Though, with Edward there it was surprisingly hard to be upset about the party. He made me so happy that I could barely member why I didn't like parties.

A few more guests arrived. It was Jessica on the arm of Michael. I guess she finally got her wish.

"Oh, Bella, dear, it is so good to see you again. And congratulations on your upcoming marriage, of course!" Jessica simpered, and I remembered why I didn't like parties lots of people pretending things they didn't feel.

Myself included. "It's lovely to see you as well. And Mr. Newton, you are looking well. Thank you for coming, both of you."

They continued on into the ballroom and joined the festivities. Most guests had already arrived. In fact, we wouldn't still be greeting the late arrivals, but the pack had yet to show.

"Do you think they'll come?" I looked up into Edward's serene gaze.

"Most of them will come, I don't doubt it. They all love you." He gave me a surreptitious squeeze.

I nodded and turned away. Most of them, he had said. The uncertain element was Jacob. And I couldn't decide if I wanted him to come or not.

Edward leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Relax. Think of something happy."

I leaned my head against him and thought about this morning. Edward had finagled a few hours to ourselves out of Alice. We spent the morning in bed, relaxing and relishing in each other's company.

I was interrupted from my very pleasant reveries by a boisterous chorus of "Bella!"

The pack had arrived.

All of them.

I was given huge hugs by almost every overgrown wolf-boy along with hearty congratulations. They even offered Edward best wishes, though only Sam shook his hand.

Jacob hung in the back, hands in his pockets as he stared listlessly off into space.

When I had sufficiently welcomed the rest of the pack and ushered them all into the party, I turned my attention to Jacob. He was staring at the floor now. I walked up to him and gave him a gentle hug and a peck on the cheek.

"I'm glad you came, Jake. It means a lot to me."

He didn't look at me. "I just want you to be happy, Bells."

Edward moved to my side and place one hand on the small of my back before offering the other to Jacob. Jacob took it hesitantly, and they shook. Jake finally broke off his staring and focused on Edward. "You take care of her."

"I swear it," Edward returned solemnly.

Jake held his gaze for a moment longer before nodding and moving to join the rest of the pack.

Edward offered me his arm and we glided silently to the dance floor.

I tripped.

Edward caught me, of course, and moved us into a perfect waltz. I followed suit, confident in his ability to help me not hurt myself or others.

Edward leaned down to whisper to me as we twirled around the dance floor. "Alice wants us to know that your trip could have been avoid through precise hemming."

I smiled. "I don't mind tripping so long as you don't mind catching me."

"Never."

The dancing continued for a while and I danced with practically every male there. Alice and Edward had taught me well, and I didn't make a fool out of myself. I could tell people were surprised that uncoordinated Bella Swan could dance – and dance well.

Edward and I were sharing another slow waltz when Jacob approached us again. "May I speak with you Bella?" he asked cautiously. "Alone?"

I looked up at Edward, knowing he was monitoring Jacob's thoughts and intentions. He nodded.

"Sure." I regretfully let go of Edward and slipped my arm in Jake's. "Let's stroll around the gardens."

It was late May, and even in the twilight you could tell the garden's were beautiful. Esme was quite the gardener.

We found a small bench and I sat while Jacob paced nervously in front of me. Finally he ceased his walking and rounded on me.

"How could you do it, Bells? Marry him?"

"I haven't yet. I'm five weeks from being a bride." What was going on? He'd had plenty of time to come to terms with my marriage.

"I know. But you agreed to marry him. You – you said you loved him." He sounded broken.

"I do."

"How?"

"You may as well question how the sun rises. I love him." I spoke honestly. Jake needed to hear this from my mouth. "There is no question about it. He is so good, and so noble. And he makes me very happy. I can't even begin to describe it. I love him. It's like gravity."

Jacob was trembling. "I don't understand. I can't understand. I've known you since I was born. I've been by your side your entire life, even when the rest of the town turned up their noses at you. I love you Bella, more than anything. How can that not be enough?"

I hung my head. I had hoped to avoid this. "I love you too, Jacob, but not that way." I looked up, my eyes brimming with tears. "I'm sorry, but I've always loved you like my brother, no more."

"So you're going to marry him? A vampire?" He had blown straight past hurt and barreled on to anger.

"Yes! Have you not been listening to me? I love him, Jacob. And he loves me. He is everything to me."

"You'll regret it Bells. I know. You'll come running back to me soon enough. But if you go through with this wedding, I won't give you the chance. I'll torch this house and all the vamps inside."

"How can you say that?" I was on my feet now, crying with rage. "What would that do? How could something so horrible make you feel better?"

"It wouldn't make me feel better, wouldn't help me. But it would help you. Because one day, Cullen will not be satisfied with his human play toy. He'll want to turn you, make you like him." He was shaking with rage now, fueled by internal fires of pain and anger that had been carefully fed and tended.

I dashed away tears that still fell. "If only," I muttered bitterly.

That snapped Jake to immediate attention. "What?"

"If only he would turn me. It's the only way to make this work, I know. But he's too stubborn. Says he refuses to 'condemn' me to his life."

Jake was gaping at me. "You want that? You want to be like him? A vampire?"

"Yes," I answered simply. How could this be surprising?

"You'd rather sell your soul than be with me? You'd rather be a bloodsucker? A leech, a parasite? A monster?"

He was coming apart at the seams. "Jake, relax."

"Relax? I can't relax. He's messed with your head; you're not in your right mind. Well, I won't let this happen." He turned away from me. "I'll kill the bastard."

"Jake! No!"

Time slowed. Jacob made a flying leap towards the house, phasing as he moved. At the same time, I threw myself at him.

He couldn't hurt my Edward. I wouldn't let him touch Edward.

Not again.

I launched myself straight into his path. I had to stop him. I had to keep him away from Edward.

We collided midair.

And I met with anger. And pure, blazing hatred.

And white-hot heat.

And pain, searing pain.

Darkness fell.

Please don't hurt me? I know cliffhangers are mean and nasty, but the next chapter is already in the works, I promise. And I have a long car ride tomorrow, so hopefully it will be done soon.

Love you always,
OnlyOneSymptom