Bella's POV
"I don't understand why you're flipping out. You saw all of this. You knew Brenna was Paul's and a girl so why would you doubt this?" Quil asks me trying not to laugh because he doesn't want me to cry.
"I'm on birth control."
"Obviously not 100% effective." He points out.
"Brenna is barely walking. I'm going to be 19 year old with 3 kids under 5!" I scream at him.
"Bella you're a good mom and Paul is a good dad and you're going to be fine. And you have lots of people willing to help." He tells and I start crying. "What's really wrong?"
"What if I love her more than Carson and Brenna?" I ask him.
"Do you ever think about Car or Brenna not being your kids?" He asks.
"They are my kids!" I yell at him.
"Exactly."
I think I know he's right I just worry.
"Paul is going to be home soon, I need to start dinner. Are you staying?" I ask him.
"You don't need to make dinner; I'll go pick something up. Please just go lay down or something. You need to take care of yourself, I know you take good care of the kids and you're exhausted sometimes but now you're going to be pregnant and exhausted."
"I can still make dinner; I'm not going to be useless for the next 8 months." I snap at him and he laughs.
"I know but you're emotional and in shock and you just need to chill for a while. How about I take the kids to Taylor's and you chill out and I will call Paul and tell him to bring you dinner and then I will bring them back this evening?"
"You're sure you don't mind?"
"I really don't mind. This way you can tell him in peace too. Is he going to be upset that you told me first?" I laugh and tell him no he'll be glad that I'm over the freak out.
"I love you Bella, I'm very happy for you and Paul. Now tell the kids good bye and go to your room. I will get them ready and take them and call him and you just chill out. Don't clean or anything. Just for today OK?" He asks.
"Fine, thank you. I don't know what I would do without you. Tell Paul I want Mexican food."
I tell the kids good bye and then lay in my bed reading my current book until I hear him leave. Once they leave I get up and start cleaning the house. It's not often I get to clean without someone undoing everything I do.
An hour later Paul comes home with dinner.
"You told Quil you would chill."
"I lied. But look how pretty the house looks!"
"So why is Quil all suddenly overly concerned about you?" He asks.
"I'm pregnant and though we didn't discuss it we both know something bad is going to happen. And there is the fact that I am way too young to have 3 kids. 3 kids Paul. My life is freaking set in stone now, I can never go to college, and I'll never be able to travel. What if you die? No man is ever going to want me with 3 kids!" I start screaming at him and then I start crying and I'm confused because I thought I was OK.
"Hey, hey baby calm down OK? Just calm down please baby." He begs me as he holds me and rubs my back but I cannot stop crying. He flips out and calls Quil who tells him he will leave the kids with Taylor and be there as soon as he can.
A few minutes later he comes in.
"Jackie said this is safe to take with her being pregnant, it's an anti-anxiety pill or something. I figured if you couldn't calm her down it finally hit her." I hear him tell Paul.
"Do you want this baby?" Paul asks me and I shake my head no. I don't need drugs.
Quil tells him that Jackie says if I don't want to take it then to put me in the shower with warm water and that should settle me down.
Paul carries me to the bathroom and Quil turns the water on and then Paul gets in with me and holds me as the water pours over us.
"You told me we were going to be OK. You woke up and said we going to be fine the last time you saw Sam. And Sam was right about Brenna, she's mine and she's a girl and you love her and Carson loves her, we're happy. You said he told you something everything was going to be OK. Baby if you want to go to college or travel we will make it work and don't you think they would have told you if I was going to die?"
"How could I possibly go to college or travel with 3 kids?" I ask him much calmer this time.
"I don't know baby but we will make it work. Do you want to go to college right now?"
"No not really." I admit. "I'm happy at home with Carson and Brenna."
"Do you want to travel?"
"Not really, I never really cared for it when we would go with Phil."
"So it's really more of I want it because I can't have it kind of thing?" He asks and I laugh and say I guess so.
"I'm sorry Paul, I just I don't know. This is so far from how I imagined my life just a few years ago…"
"I know baby. I know it is, I never imagined my life like this either. I never would have ended up with you if you hadn't lost everything."
"I love you too; this is just a lot right now. But you're right… we're going to be OK. I just wish I could see it."
"I think that's why you can't. You can't live your whole life waiting for the answers."
"You can name her. Since I kind of didn't even give you a choice with Brenna."
He says he'll think about it and that we should probably get out of the shower and out of our soaking wet clothes.
We get changed and Quil is in the living room and when we come out he says that Jackie offered to keep the kids for the night but only if I'm OK with it of course since they've never been with her overnight.
"Taylor will be there?" I ask him and he says yep and he will be there until they are sleeping but Jackie won't let him spend the night. I don't know why, it's not like it stops him and Taylor from doing anything.
We agree and Paul tells him he will pick them up in the morning, he's going to call into work tomorrow. I tell him that's completely not needed but he says he's going to anyways.
After Quil leaves we eat our dinner and watch a movie and go to bed.
We're going to be OK. Something bad is going to happen but we're going to be OK.