Chapter 21: Forever and Ever
aka: The Importance of Tissues
The next few days went by a lot like Monday had. Each day, the four of us ate breakfast together, went out to do some sight-seeing or some shopping, and came home to have dinner. After dinner, we hung out playing board games, watching movies, reading stories, and just having fun. It wasn't exciting, exactly, but it was nice. It was the family life I'd always wanted for myself and my children.
The girls were getting used to Adrian's apartment. We met a few other children who lived in the building, and set up some playdates. We signed Amy up for karate lessons, and she surprised all of us by saying that she wanted to keep up with gymnastics, too. Violet wanted to continue with her French lessons, but said she also wanted to try a painting class. Both girls were nervous about their new school, so I arranged for them to have a visit there, and the principal thoughtfully assigned each of them a genuinely friendly "buddy" from their grade who came in to show them around. It was nice to see some of their anxieties fade away.
I settled in to my new life, too. I got completely unpacked, and hung up a few photographs of the girls here and there. I made a spreadsheet of all the local garages in the area, and began my research on where I'd most want to apply for a job. I called the few friends I had back in North Carolina to tell them that I'd moved. I asked Abe Mazour's office to contact Rick regarding the money, and was assured that a bank check for the first million was on its way. I figured out how to work Adrian's shower and the jacuzzi, and I finally learned which drawer was the silverware drawer. Adrian's apartment was starting to feel more "ours" than "his."
Adrian was getting used to living with us, too. He learned how to make scrambled eggs, and even began to remember to put the toilet seat back down. He arranged to rent another apartment in the same building to be his studio, so that he could paint whenever the mood struck. He swam most nights, and he made sure that his feeder would drop by only after the girls had gone to bed. As soon as the studio was ready, it would be the new place for him to meet his feeder, but for now, the bathroom was working out ok. So far, his life was meshing quite well with ours, even if it meant that he was awake during the day and asleep at night, contrary to the usual Moroi schedule.
There was one way, however, in which his sleep schedule wasn't entirely normal; nearly ever night, he woke up to the sound of Violet crying. Adrian and I started taking turns sitting with her, and as far as we could tell, we were equally welcome. We asked her several times to talk to us about what was wrong, but she always shook her head and said that she was fine. I considered just letting her cry by herself – it seemed like the kind of step parenting books would recommend – but most parenting books didn't have advice for the kind of trauma that Violet had gone through, and I figured she had earned a bit of coddling. Besides, neither Adrian nor I had the heart to just let her cry alone.
It was difficult to know how to work through Violet's instability, especially because it seemed that we were all guarding secrets from one another. Neither girl knew that Adrian was a type of vampire, and Violet still didn't know that he was Amy's father. I was sure that the longer we hid the truth from the girls, the more of a shock it would be when they found out. So, Adrian and I decided to tell them before they started school, so they'd have time to adjust before they had homework and stress.
On Friday afternoon, we sat them down on the couch in the living room, so that we could talk.
"So, girls," I said. "You two already know that Adrian's pretty... special."
"Not short-bus special," Adrian added. "The other kind. The cool kind."
I ignored his comment and went on. "You saw him control fire, and heal injuries, and all sorts of things."
"Right," Amy said. "It's cool."
Violet nodded her agreement. "Like Harry Potter," she said, in a near whisper.
"Well, I am a Gryffindor," Adrian said. "But I'm not exactly a magician."
"Then how do you do magic?" Amy asked.
Adrian paused, took a breath, then said, "I'm what's called a Moroi. It means that I'm not like ordinary people. I have certain magic abilities, and I don't tend to get sick very often. I also can hear, see, and smell much better than normal people can. Even better than you, Am-azing."
"What is the word?" Violet asked. "More..."
"Moroi," I said.
"How do you spell it?" Violet asked.
"I-T," Amy and Adrian said at the same time, then laughed in stereo. Violet and I sighed.
"M-O-R-O-I," I said. "Why do you want to know?"
"I'm looking it up," she said, and sure enough, she already was typing away on her ZOMG tablet.
"Oh, no, baby, don't look at that stuff," I said. "It won't be accurate..."
"It says here a Moroi is a kind of vampire or ghost," she said, with wide eyes.
I pulled the ZOMG away from her as gently as I could. "Honey," I said. "I know what the myths are about Moroi, but I also know that they're incorrect. Adrian's not a ghost who sucks people's energy away..."
"Are you Dracula?" Violet asked Adrian. She was beginning to shrink away from him.
"No," he said, smiling gently. "I'm not Dracula. I'm not even Count Chocula!" That got a smile from Amy, but not Violet.
"But do you... suck blood?" Violet whispered.
Adrian looked at me for help. I moved to put my arm around Violet, and said, "He does. But only a little at a time, and only from people who say it's ok."
"I don't hurt them," Adrian said. "They actually like getting bitten. My magic makes it feel nice."
"Weird..." Amy said. I noticed her begin to move her tongue around in her mouth, and I realized she was checking for fangs.
"And when I bite them, they don't turn into Moroi or anything," Adrian went on. "They stay just the same."
"And um," I said, quickly. "Adrian was always a Moroi, even when he was born. His parents are both Moroi, so he is too."
"Your father and mother are both Moroi?" Amy asked Adrian, picking up on my comment.
"Yes," Adrian said, then added, to Amy, "My mother is named Daniella. She's actually pretty nice, especially now that she's... back home after being away for a while. Maybe you'll meet her someday."
"Will sunlight kill you?" Violet asked, in a whisper. She obviously didn't care about meeting Adrian's mother, at least, not right now.
"Yes," Adrian said, and moved his hand into a beam of light. "Oh!" he shouted. "It burns me! Precious! Oh, it burns..." Then he fell onto the couch theatrically and twitched for a minute before sitting up. "See?" he said, holding up his hand. "I'm fine. I do get sunburn pretty easily, I'll admit. But Miss Purple, you've been outside with me in the light. You know sunlight doesn't kill me."
Violet set her jaw obstinately. "It could have been a trick."
"It's not a trick," Amy said. "Come on, Vy-Vy. Be nice."
"It's ok, Am-azing," Adrian said. "She's trying to understand. Miss Purple, you just want to check on all your vampire stereotypes. So, let's see. Garlic's ok by me, though I try not to eat it on hot dates. I can't turn into a bat. Don't really want to. Eww. I don't sleep in a coffin – it sounds really uncomfortable, don't you think? And obviously, I can see myself in mirrors. How else would I get my hair so perfect every day?"
Amy smiled a little at that, but Violet continued to stare with wide eyes.
"I hope you won't change how you feel about him now that you know his secret," I said. "Because he never hurt us and he never would."
"Thanks, Sydney," Adrian said, taking my hand.
Abruptly, Violet got up from the couch and ran out of the room at full speed. The moment she was gone, Amy asked in a low voice, "What am I?"
"You're what's called a dhampir," Adrian said, very quietly, then glanced towards the hallway.
"That's the word the mean lady called me," Amy said, stricken.
"Adrian will explain about dhampirs," I said, and gave Amy a kiss. "You're my wonderful daughter, and I love you, ok?" She nodded. To Adrian, I said, "I'm going to talk to Violet. Amy, I'll be back soon, ok?" She nodded again, and I got up.
"First thing you should know about dhampirs is that they kick ass," Adrian said as I left the room and went down the hall to Violet's room.
I found Violet under her bed, clutching the stuffed elephant she'd had since she was a baby. Its name was Elephanty – emphasis on the third syllable, which was pronounced with a soft "ah." Violet's wrath on those who mispronounced his name was legendary.
I got down on the floor so that we could see each other. "Hi," I said.
"Is it just you?" she whispered.
"Just me," I said.
"Close the door," she whispered, and I did as I had been told. Once the door was closed, she crawled out from under the bed, pulling the elephant behind her by the trunk, and we went to sit together in her window seat.
"How's Elephanty?" I asked.
"Concerned," she said, in a low voice. "Elephanty is concerned to be living in a house with a vampire-man." She was doing her best impression of me, mid-reprimand, and it was tempting to laugh – but I didn't.
"Well, you and Elephanty can both relax," I said. "Adrian is a type of vampire, it's true. But that doesn't change the fact that he's our friend. Hasn't he done a lot of very nice things for us?"
"It could have been a trick," Violet whispered. "To get our blood."
"He doesn't need to trick people to get blood," I said. "People volunteer, like I told you."
"But he might change his mind and want to eat us," she said.
"I've known him for ten years," I said. "From before I even met your dad. Adrian is a good person. He saved my life several times, and you know he saved you from that fire at the bad guy's house. And didn't he set up this room for you, as a present?"
"He's a vampire, though," Violet said. "He's scary."
"Are you really scared of him?" I asked. "Really?" She nodded silently, so I gestured to the rocking chair. "Didn't he cuddle with you for hours just last night, in that rocking chair, when you were sad?"
Her eyes widened. "What if he bit me?" she asked. "Check me, Mommy." She held the collar of her shirt away so that I could see her neck. Naturally, it was unharmed.
"He didn't bite you, baby," I said. "He would never do that. A long time ago, some people I worked with said that I had to donate some blood for their experiment. Adrian wouldn't let them come near me with the needle, because he said that no one should have to give blood unless they want to. He's very kind, honey. You know that."
"I don't know that," she said. "He's a vampire-man. He's going to turn mean when we don't know he's going to turn mean. In the night. He'll just wake up in the night and drink all our blood. I know he will."
"Listen," I said, wondering what she was really upset about. "Just because he's a Moroi doesn't mean he's a horrible monster. It just means that he's a little different, a little weird. He needs a weird kind of blood transfusion every other day. You read about hemophilia in Highlights, didn't you?"
She nodded. "Russian royal family," she said. "The Czars." She pronounced it "See-sars."
"Right," I said. "It's kind of like that. He needs extra blood. But in return, he can do nice magic. Remember when he fixed your broken arm?"
Her mouth pressed into a thin line. "No," she said.
"You do," I said. "I know you do."
She was silent.
"Adrian's difference isn't bad," I said. "Actually, it makes him special. Like your sister. She's a little different, with her good hearing and sight. She's special. That doesn't make her bad. Or like me. I can do my tricks, right? That just makes me special. Not bad."
She paused to consider that. "Am I special?" she asked.
"Of course you are," I said. "Of course." I hugged her. "Maybe you don't jump out of windows or see in the dark, but you're very special. Especially to me, baby." She looked down at the floor. "Did I ever tell you how you got your name?" I asked.
"No," she said.
"I told you when you were a baby," I said. "But you don't remember because that was a long time ago. So I'll tell you again, ok?" She nodded. "One day," I said, "before you were born – this was back when you were still in my belly, and you were so, so small that no one but me could tell that you were there yet – I went for a walk. I was kind of sad that day..."
"Were you sad because of me?" she asked, anxiously.
"No, of course not," I said, which was essentially a lie. My second pregnancy had been as unexpected as my first, and much less welcome, initially, at least. "I was sad because of... grownup stuff," I said, smoothly. "And I went for a walk. It was early May, and nice out, just starting to get warm. But I was too sad to notice how pretty it was outside. I was just thinking my sad thoughts. And I sat down by the side of the street in the grass to rest. That's when I saw something that made me feel better. Do you know what it was?"
Violet shook her head "no."
"It was a pretty little violet in the grass. The flower kind, not the girl kind." Violet nodded. "I thought that maybe the violet was there to cheer me up," I said, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. I had been so miserable that day, and the sight of the little flower had meant so much to me. "It was just a little thing, but it made me happy," I said, and blinked away a few tears. "A brave little flower, hiding in the grass, but brave enough to grow, brave enough to be beautiful. And I thought that you were going to be like that flower and that you'd make me happy. And you do."
"Oh," was all she said, but I knew she had been listening.
"I'm sure you make everyone happy like that," I said. "And I love you just the way you are."
Violet crawled into my lap and put her head on my shoulder, and I stroked her back. After a few minutes, she spoke up again, her voice muffled. "Remember when Dad hit me?" she asked, quietly. "Remember when the lightening came?"
"Yes, honey, I remember."
"And Dad fell on the ground, and he didn't move?"
"I remember."
"Did Mr. Adrian make the lightening come out of me?"
"Yes," I said. "He put it in your bracelet. He did that to protect you."
"Did he... kill Dad? Is Dad dead?" The last word came out as a whisper.
"No, baby," I said, understanding some of her concern. The last time she'd seen her father, he had been passed out on the ground. For all she knew, he was dead. "Your dad's still alive," I said. "I promise. You know," I added brightly, "If you want to, you can call him. I bet he'd like that." I wasn't entirely sure that it was a good idea for her to talk to him, but I had to offer.
She considered that. "No," she said. "No. I don't want to talk to him."
"If you change your mind, you can talk to him any time you want," I said. "Just ask me."
"Ok," she said. "But I won't." She paused again, then asked, "Is Mr. Adrian going to turn mean?"
"I can't promise that he'll never ever get angry, because everyone does, sometimes," I said, carefully. "And he might say or do something you don't like, someday. But he'll never hit you. He'll never do anything to hurt you on purpose. He loves you, sweetheart. He wants you to be happy and safe."
"Dad turned mean," she said, her voice shaking. "Dad turned really mean."
"I know he did, baby," I said, wanting to cry, too. "I saw it. I was so mad at him for doing that."
"He hit me," she said, in an intense whisper. "He pushed me on the ground. It was scary."
"Dads aren't supposed to do that," I said. "I bet he's sorry now, but that doesn't make it ok."
"I was scared," she said, again, and started to cry.
Suddenly, Violet's fears and concerns began to make sense to me. Unlike Amy, who had been more or less disenchanted with Rick when he'd rejected her, Violet had still kind of trusted Rick. She'd seen him be harsh to Amy, but he'd never had a cruel word for her. In fact, he used to carry her around on his shoulders and fuss over her. Then, all of a sudden, he had pushed her to the ground, and moments later, had insulted and attacked her beloved sister. Violet had been nearly hysterical that night, and it had probably taken her a few days to process the depths of his betrayal. And now, her new friend – and potential father figure – had turned out to be literally not human.
"It must be hard for you," I said, cautiously. "You're not sure who to trust right now, isn't that it?"
She nodded, her head moving up and down against my shoulder.
"Adrian's not like your dad," I said. "He's different, but in a good way. He's not mean or bad. He wouldn't hurt anyone, especially not you."
"Maybe," she said.
"He's your friend," I said. "You know him. He's been cheering you up when you feel sad lately, hasn't he?"
She nodded a little.
"And he fixed your arm that night – do you remember now?"
She nodded, apparently unwilling to admit that she'd remembered all along.
"Well, don't you think that means that he's your friend?" I said.
"I guess so," she said.
"Do you think you could give him a chance?" I asked.
There was a long pause. "Do you promise he won't bite me?" she asked.
"I promise," I said. "And I promise that if he ever does something to hurt you on purpose, you and Amy and I will move away and live by ourselves, ok? You two are my most important people."
"More important than Adrian?" she asked.
"Yes," I said. I loved Adrian with all my heart, but I loved my children just that little bit more.
"Ok," she said. "I'll give him a chance."
"Good," I said. "Do you want to come out and talk to him now?"
"Ok," she said again. "I'll try."
"He'll be glad," I said.
She took my hand and held it tightly as we walked down the hall. I called ahead of us, so that Adrian and Amy would know that we were coming and wouldn't say anything about Amy being a dhampir. That was a conversation that would definitely have to wait. When we walked in to the living room, Violet said, with grave formality, "I apologize if I hurt your feelings, Mr. Adrian," just as I had taught her to do.
"It's ok, Miss Purple," he said. "I think a lot of people might be scared of me. Your mom used to be scared of me before we got to be friends."
"I wasn't scared of you," I said.
He rolled his eyes. "You were too," he said. "But you thought I was cute, too. So you didn't know what to think." Then he turned back to Violet. "Want to come sit next to me, Miss Purple? Plenty of room on the couch..."
"Yeah, come sit with us, Vy-Vy," Amy said, patting the space next to her.
"No, thank you," Violet said. "I want to read my book now."
"Ok," Adrian said, smiling as cheerfully as he could, though I saw the hurt in his eyes. "That's ok. Maybe when you're done with your chapter."
"Maybe," she said, and left the room. I watched her walk away. She looked so small.
Once I had heard her door shut firmly, I asked Amy in a low voice if she was ok.
"I'm ok," she said, softly. "Adrian explained it. Dhampirs sound... kind of cool."
"They are," I said, smiling. "Did he tell you that Rose and Eddie are dhampirs?"
She nodded. "He said that's why I thought they seemed familiar," she said. "He said that I'll always be able to tell when someone's a dhampir."
"That's how I knew when I met you, that you were mine," Adrian said, quietly. "I knew the only way you'd be a dhampir is if you had a Moroi for a dad. And I'm the only Moroi your mother was... um, close to."
Amy rolled her eyes. "Eww," she said. "I know all about that stuff. My friend Maddy had this book..."
I didn't have the energy to have a birds-and-bees talk at that exact moment, and from the panicked look on Adrian's face, I could tell he was of the same mind. "I'm glad you know," I said. "We can, um, talk about that some other time, I guess..."
"Eww," she said again. "No, I'm ok. Anyway, so anything else I should know about... being a dhampir? Can I do magic?"
I said "no" at the same time that Adrian said "maybe." I looked at him questioningly.
"Your mom has some special talents," he said. "Dhampirs don't inherit Moroi magic, but you might have gotten some of your mom's skills."
"You can do magic too?" Amy asked me, incredulous.
"I left that behind," I said. "But... technically... kind of."
Adrian laughed. "Your mom doesn't give herself enough credit," he said. "She's awesome."
"Shut up," I said, affectionately. "We're talking about Amy today, not me. And, Amy, do you have any other questions?"
"Is Vy-Vy ok?" she asked, quietly. "Did you tell her?"
"Not yet," I said. "But I hope she'll be ok soon. I think she's still sad about what happened with... um... Mr. Reznick." That seemed like the easiest way to refer to Rick. "We'll have to keep being extra nice to her. And extra patient." I examined Amy's face. "Are you ok now, about what happened that night, you know... with him? I know you were upset at the time."
"I was sad right when it happened," Amy said. "A little. But... he's been so mean for so long. It was almost easier when he just got really, really mean. Like... when you have a loose tooth and then it just comes out. You feel better."
"Exactly," I said, and hugged her. "That's very well put. Maybe you can be a poet."
"Maybe," she said. "Um, Mom? Did Dad, um, I mean, Mr. Reznick, did he call me evil because he knew I was a... this thing?"
"Yes," I said. "He grew up in a household that hates Moroi and dhampirs. So did I, actually – although we'll have to leave that story for another day. When he realized that you were Adrian's daughter, not his own, he was pretty angry, realizing I had lied to him, and..." I sighed. "People do bad things when they're angry sometimes. Especially people who've been raised to hate."
She nodded. "I still don't like him," she said.
"Me either," I said, and we laughed a little. "But the way he reacted – that gives you a little idea of why I didn't tell people who your father really was. Some people really don't like dhampirs, and might have taken you away from me. I had to hide you for your own safety." I didn't have the heart to tell her that one of those people I was hiding her from was her own Grampa, who she loved.
She considered what I'd said. "I was sort of wondering," she said. "Do we still have to hide? Are bad people going to come and take me and Violet away again?"
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Adrian interjected. He took Amy's hand. "If we have to, we'll hire a Guardian, ok? I'll do anything to keep you safe."
"Can Rose be our Guardian?" Amy asked, with bright eyes. "I like her."
"I know you do," I said. "I like her too. That's why we're having lunch with her tomorrow."
"Oh, that's tomorrow?" Amy said, delighted.
"It is!" I said. "But anyway, she can't be our guardian because she already guards someone. Someone kind of important."
"Who?" Amy asked.
Adrian and I exchanged glances. "The Queen," Adrian said, in a low voice.
Amy's eyes grew wider.
"I'll let you explain about this stuff," I said. "I should probably start dinner."
Violet was quiet and withdrawn for most of the rest of the night. She didn't want to help me fix dinner, and when we were done cleaning up, she read by herself in her room, listening to the new satellite radio that Adrian had bought her. Amy visited her for a little while to try to cheer her up, and they used Amy's tricorder on some of their new souvenirs. Later, Amy reported that the liquid inside her snow globe was a kind of oil, not water – and that Violet didn't want to talk about Adrian or anything much at all. Violet went to sleep without hearing a story, saying that she was tired. That night, she didn't cry.
The next day, the plan was to go visit Rose's house for a friendly lunch. It was a chance for Violet and Amy to meet Rose and Dimitri's children, Cole and Zach, and a chance for all the adults to catch up and chat. Amy was excited to see Rose again, and while Violet didn't show much enthusiasm for the visit, she didn't actively object. So we all climbed into my car and set out for Rose's in the late morning.
As it turned out, Rose's house was on the fringes of the Moroi court. But Rose welcomed us warmly, giving each girl a quick hug, and accepted Adrian's offer of a muffin-basket with a laugh.
Rose showed us into her living room, which showed signs of a recent and hurried cleaning. The room was spacious, although any room with Rose in it always felt a little too small – she just had that kind of presence. After a moment, Dimitri came in to greet us, and on his tail were two little boys – Cole and Zach. They had Ozera eyes, it was true, but they had Rose's dark coloring and hair.
"Go on," Dimitri said, gently, to his sons. "Introduce yourself, like I taught you."
"Hello," said the older one, introducing himself. His hair was long, to his chin, and his bright blue eyes shone with pride. "My name is Cole Belikov. I'm 8 years old. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too," I said, stifling a giggle as I shook his hand. Hearing him speak was like hearing Dimitri's voice coming from a child's body.
"Hi," said the younger one, who, as Adrian had mentioned, was actually slightly taller than his brother. His hair was short and curled at the edges, and I could tell that if he were to let it grow, it would be just as curly as Rose's. "My name is Zachery Belikov. I'm 7 years old. It's a pleasure to meet you." I shook his hand as well.
Violet caught sight of the boys and let out a little "eep!" sound and clung to me, unwilling to move. Amy, meanwhile, walked over to introduce herself to the boys, and it was kind of funny to watch all the adults watching the children, as if the children were pets or something.
Amy talked to the boys for a few moments, then looked over at Violet. "It's ok, Vy-Vy," Amy said, beckoning her forward. "We're going to play Legos. Want to play?"
Violet nodded uncertainly, and I nudged her forward. The four children went to play on one side of the room, while Dimitri politely offered Adrian and me a seat and a beverage. I had a diet soda, and Adrian asked for a beer, and Rose and Dimitri joined us at the kitchen table. Soon, we began munching on chips and dip as if we hadn't seen food in our lives while we caught up on Rose and Dimitri's lives at court. Lissa had a lot of Guardians now, Rose explained, and she and Dimitri were allowed to take alternate weekends off together, assuming that there were no special functions planned. Once we were fairly well caught up on court affairs, Rose asked me my opinion of a particular children's book, and we all talked about the toys, books, and music that our children liked, comparing notes. As we talked, the kids seemed to be getting along pretty well, which was a blessing.
Once we were ready for more substantial food, Dimitri fired up the grill, apparently unswayed by the weather, and in a little while we all were served hamburgers and roasted potatoes, as well as a heaping portion of borscht.
"I learned how to make the stuff to keep the comrade happy," Rose said. "It was our deal. I make borscht every so often, and he cleans the leaves out of the gutters."
"It's a good deal," Dimitri said, giving her a kiss.
"Don't kiss me if you're eating that stuff," Rose said, but the twinkle in her eye told me that she was joking. "Hey, Sydney," she added, in a more serious tone. "Did my dad get everything set up ok – you know, with the divorce?"
I told her about his phone call and the check, and she nodded, satisfied.
"And the children?" Dimitri asked, in a low tone. "Are they well?" We all looked over at the kids. Cole was doing a handstand, trying to get Amy's attention, and Violet was sitting next to Zach and gazing at him as if he were the last drink of water in the desert. Well, that was more or less as expected.
"They're ok," I said. "Violet's having a bit of a rough time, but... we're managing."
"She'll be ok," Adrian said, in a tone that suggested more hope than certainty.
"My father was also... a problem," Dimitri said. "Much worse, I think, than that… man... you were once married to." He said the word as if it pained him. "If it would help, I would talk to your little girl about it."
"Maybe," I said. "We still haven't told her the whole story yet... ."
But just then, Violet stood up, knocking a few toys over. "What do you mean?" she was saying, in a high pitched voice.
"Amy's a dhampir, like me," Zach replied, obviously confused. "That means she has a Moroi dad. You didn't know that?"
"What's a dhampir?" Violet asked.
Rose and I ran over, shouting, trying to stop Zach from speaking, but the boy was offering a good-natured – and accurate – answer.
"It means half-Moroi," Zach said. "If you're a dhampir, one of your parents has to be a Moroi and the other one is a dhampir. Or a human, I guess. So Adrian is probably Amy's dad. Right, Amy?"
Amy put her face in her hands and didn't answer.
Zach pressed on, not sure what was wrong. "But he's not your dad, because you're just a human." He looked up at his mother, who was standing over him, glowering. "Sorry," he added. "I didn't mean to say just a human. Humans are cool, too. I mean, you're the first human I ever really met, and you seem ok... ." He trailed off, looking concerned. "Um. What's wrong, Mom?"
Rose sighed, her eyes closing. "Didn't I tell you not to say anything about dhampirs or Moroi or anything?" she said. Adrian had already gotten up from the table and had hesitantly begun to draw closer. Dimitri was waiting at the table, probably not wanting to intrude.
"But she asked... ." Zach said.
Violet's eyes were huge, and her chest was heaving. "Mommy," she said, in an intense whisper. "What does he mean? Why did he say that? Mommy?"
"Come here," I said. "Let's talk about it."
"Why did he say that?" she repeated. "Why why why whywhywhywhy..."
"I'll tell you, but you have to calm down a little," I said, kneeling by her. Zach and Cole had both backed off, clearly not wanting to make matters worse. Amy had crawled closer, wanting to comfort her sister, but not knowing how.
"See, sweetie, Adrian is actually Amy's dad," I said. "I used to know Adrian a long time ago, before I married your father. I loved him – Adrian – very much even back then, and we, um, we made Amy. But your father didn't know that. It's kind of complicated. But your father is still your father... ." I trailed off, seeing tears glinting in Violet's eyes.
"I don't understand," she said, in a choked voice.
"Listen," I said to Violet, as Adrian knelt down next to me. "Nothing's really changed. I'm still your Mommy. Your father, the one in North Carolina, he's still your father. Adrian and I still love you. Amy is still your sister, well, your half-sister, but she's still your sister, and don't worry, she's not a Moroi. She doesn't suck blood or anything like that."
"I'm still the same," Amy said, tears shining in her eyes. "It's ok, Vy-Vy."
"You're her father," Violet said, looking at Adrian.
"Yes, I'm her father," Adrian said. "But sweetheart –"
"You like her better," Violet interrupted, looking at Adrian accusingly.
"Of course not," Adrian said, trying to put an arm around the little girl, but Violet stood up, evading his grasp, as the tears started to course down her cheeks.
"Don't cry, Violet," Amy said, awkwardly. "Vy-Vy, please don't cry."
"Oh, little Miss Purple," Adrian said. "Don't be upset. This doesn't change anything."
"Yes it does!" Violet said. "It's all different. You're a bad vampire-man and you're mean and you like Amy better than me and … and... and I hate you!" And she stamped her foot.
"Sweetheart," I said. "Please, come here."
"NO!" she shouted. "I hate you, too! All of you!" And she ran out of the room, towards the front hall.
"Oh, god," Rose said, softly. "I'm sorry. I should have been more clear with the boys."
"Yes, you should have," I said, too upset to be polite. "But what's done is done. I'll go get her."
"No," Adrian said, his hand on my arm. "I'll do it."
"Adrian, you're sweet to offer, but she needs her mom," I said.
"No," he said again, shaking his head. "She needs me."
For a moment, we stared each other down. I wanted to go to Violet myself, but I had a feeling that Adrian might be right. Reluctantly, I stepped aside and let him go into the front hall, but I followed him at a respectful distance. I was going to let him try, but I'd be ready to step in if I was needed.
Out in the front hall, we both spotted a small pair of legs showing under a wooden end table near the door. It was the kind of table that could fold up to produce a large eating area, but could also fold down so that the long wooden leaves hung down on each side. Adrian got down on his hands and knees and crawled under the table, moving awkwardly in the small space. His legs were way too long for him to fit under there, and his bent knees were practically banging against the top of the wooden leaf.
"Go away!" said a sullen, tear-streaked voice from under the table.
"Hi, Miss Purple," Adrian said, a little hesitantly.
"My name is Violet," Violet said, through gritted teeth.
"I thought you liked it when I called you Miss Purple," Adrian said.
"No," Violet said, emphatically. "No. I hate it. I hate you."
"I see," Adrian said. "Well, I don't hate you, sweetheart. In fact, I like you a lot."
"I don't care," Violet said, relentlessly. "I hate you. Go away."
I sat down on the floor so that I could get a better view of them. I was partially hidden behind a wall, so it would be hard for them to see me.
"Do you think that maybe we could come out from under this table?" Adrian suggested, in a reasonable tone. "It's sort of... cramped under here, isn't it?"
"No," Violet said. "I'm too mad. Go away."
"I can't go away," Adrian said. He looked unperturbed, though I knew he was probably in emotional overdrive. "You're my friend, and you're upset, so I have to hang out here with you until you feel a little better."
"I'm not upset," Violet said. "I'm mad."
"Why are you mad, Miss – Violet?"
"Because it's not fair. You're Amy's daddy. You like her better than me."
"No I don't," Adrian said. "I like you both the same."
"No you don't," Violet said. "You like her better because she's your daughter and I'm not and you'll never like me the same as you like her, ever ever ever." She sniffed loudly. "And it's not fair."
"Oh, Violet," Adrian said. "I know you're not my daughter. I knew that the first day I met you, in DC. But I still like you every bit as much as I like Amy. That's because you're such a cool little kid. You're smart and funny and sweet and generous. I'm so happy that I get to be friends with you."
"But you're not my daddy," Violet said. "It's not fair."
"I know," Adrian said. His voice had lost its surface calm. "I agree. It's not fair at all. That other guy – Mr. Reznick – he got to be around you your whole life. He got to see your first steps and hear your first words and all that stuff. And I missed it. I missed everything, because I didn't even know you yet, or Amy either. And the worst part is, I think Mr. Reznick didn't even know how lucky he was. He had two nice, smart, awesome girls in his life – well, three if we count your mom, who is also awesome – and he just didn't know it." He paused, then added in an earnest voice, "I wish that I were your dad, sweetheart. I wish I had been there from the beginning for both of you."
A very long pause greeted that statement. Then Violet said, "I don't care. You're a vampire. I don't care if you're my dad or not. You're a bad, mean vampire-man and I hate you."
"Do you really think that?" Adrian said, very gently. "You're such a smart little girl. I think you're probably smarter than me, and I'm pretty smart. You don't really think I'm a bad guy – do you?"
"Yes," Violet said. "You're going to turn mean."
"No," Adrian said. "I won't."
"Yes, you are," Violet said. "One day you're going to wake up and decide you don't like me or Amy or Mommy anymore. Especially me. And you're going to drink all our blood, all up, like this." She made a slurping noise. "And then you're going to move to Spain."
"To Spain?" Adrian said.
"Yes," Violet said.
"Why to Spain?" Adrian asked.
"I don't know," Violet said, and started to cry again.
In the silence that ensued, I wracked my brain to try to figure out what Violet was talking about. I finally remembered that a friend of hers in kindergarten had moved to Spain. It must have been the furthest away place that she could think of.
"I won't move to Spain unless I take you all with me," Adrian said. "It's nice in Spain, although the sun is sort of strong. In Barcelona, they serve mojitos on the beach. And you can go to a restaurant where they serve nothing but sausage and cheese on little toothpicks. I'll take you sometime, if you want to go." He paused, then added, "Maybe when you're older, though."
"No," Violet said. "Go away." But most of the force had gone out of her voice.
"I've been away long enough," Adrian said. "But now that I'm here, maybe it'd be fun to hang out with you and your mom and sister for a while, if you'll let me. I mean, you might need someone like me to give you piggyback rides and draw pictures for you and stuff."
"No," Violet said, again. "Go away."
"Aren't we friends anymore?" Adrian asked. "I thought we were friends."
"No," Violet said, and it came out as a sob this time. "No. I hate you. You're mean."
"Oh," Adrian said, and paused. I briefly considered intervening, but almost immediately rejected the idea. They needed to finish this conversation, no matter what happened. "Well," Adrian said, after a moment. "I definitely can't leave now. Now I have to stay under this table too, because now I'm too sad to come out."
After a pause, Violet said, once again, "Go away."
"I can't," Adrian said. "I mean, not only are you not really my daughter, which totally sucks, but you don't even like me anymore. Who is going to give me a hug the next time I have a bad dream?"
"I don't care," Violet said.
A long silence followed. Finally, Adrian said, softly, as if he were talking to himself, "Wow. I'm terrible at this."
After a moment, Violet said in a sullen voice, "Terrible at what?"
"I don't know, this, like, father-y stuff," Adrian said. "You hate me and won't even talk to me. It's really... difficult. I just wanted to help you, Violet. But I guess I don't know how."
I waited, fingers crossed. Violet had turned to look at Adrian, clearly surprised. I remembered a line from a book I'd read as a child, a book called A Little Princess: "A new idea will stop a crying child when nothing else will." Violet was a gentle little girl, and I knew she didn't like to see other people upset. She unclenched her fists, slowly. Then she said, in the same sullen voice, "I don't 'hate-you' hate-you. I just sort of hate you."
"That's good to know, I guess," Adrian said.
Another long pause passed. Then Violet said, for the hundredth time, "It's not fair."
"I know," he said. "Oh, sweetheart. I know that. I should have been there from the first day, for both of you. I would have been a lot nicer than … Mr. Reznick was."
"My dad wasn't always mean to me," Violet said, sounding more sad than angry now. "But he was mean to Mommy and he was mean to Amy and I was scared that he would get mean to me, too. And then... ." She sniffed loudly.
"Then he did," Adrian said.
Violet sniffed, then nodded vigorously. "He was really mean," she said, in an intense whisper. "It was so scary. He hit me, and he hit Amy, and there was lightening everywhere, and he fell down, and it was... so scary." She sniffed again. "I was scared when we were at the old house with the bad guys, too, especially when the house got on fire, but it was worse with Daddy."
"It was scary for me too," Adrian said. "I'm sorry, Violet. I wish I could have... protected you. You're one of my favorite people on the whole planet."
"But Amy's your real real favorite," Violet said, sounding miserable.
"No," Adrian said. "You're both my favorite."
"What about Mommy?" Violet asked.
"She's my favorite grownup," Adrian said. "Isn't she your favorite, too?"
"Yes," Violet said. "But I'm mad at her right now."
"Right," Adrian said, as my heart sank in my chest. Violet had a good reason to be angry with me, but still, it hurt to hear her say it.
"It's not fair," Violet said, yet again. "Why are you Amy's daddy and not mine?" The last two words were punctuated by the sound of her little fist pounding on the floor.
"Bad luck," Adrian said. "I wish I could just push a button and be your dad. That would be so cool."
There was an even longer pause, and then Violet said again, "Really?"
"Really really," Adrian said. "You're a cool kid, and I bet you're going to grow up to be a cool bigger kid. Then you'll probably be an annoying teenager, but still kind of cool. And then you'll be a cool grownup. But I'll still be stuck under this table because I'll be so sad."
"Don't be sad," Violet said. I saw a little hand patting his shin awkwardly.
"But I am sad," Adrian said, dramatically. "So I'll stay here. I'm just going to have to eat bugs that crawl by and stuff. I hope that there's a leak in the ceiling so I can get some water to drink."
Violet giggled. "You're being silly," she said. Then she remembered she was supposed to be upset, and sniffed a few times very loudly.
"No, I'm not," Adrian said, as if deeply injured. "I'm hiding under the table because I'm sad. Don't laugh at me."
Violet tried to stifle a giggle, but couldn't. "You're not hiding very well," she said. "I think anyone could see you. You're too big to be under here."
"I know," Adrian said, very sadly. "That's another reason I'm sad. I don't even know how to hide." He sniffed loudly.
"Then get out from under the table!" Violet said, unable to control her giggles at all by now. "Silly!"
"I can't," Adrian said. "I'm too sad that I'm not really your father."
Violet's giggles slowed again, then stopped. "If you were, though," she said. "If you were really my father, would you stay nice forever?"
"I'm going to stay nice to you forever anyway, Violet," Adrian said.
"But if you were," she insisted.
"If I were your dad, I would stay nice forever," Adrian said. "Even if you crashed my car."
"Really?" Violet asked.
"Really," he said, and went on, warming to the theme as he went. "If I were your dad, and you had a mean teacher, I would go to the school and yell at the teacher and say, 'Hey, that's my daughter, she's smart and great, so be nice to her.' And if there was a mean bully at school, I would sneak up on him when he least expected it, and I would show him my big vampire teeth, like this" – and he showed his fangs – "and say, 'Don't hurt my daughter or I'll hurt you right back,' so he'd leave you alone. And if I were your dad, I would paint a picture on your bedroom wall of whatever you wanted."
"Even a turtle-horse?" Violet asked.
"Especially a turtle-horse," Adrian said. "I would paint two of them, if you wanted. And if I were your dad, I would learn how to make your fried eggs just right with no yucky burnt parts. And... ." His voice dropped a little. "If I were your dad, I would come to you whenever you cried and I would cheer you up, even if it was the middle of the night."
"And you would never, ever be mean and hit me and Amy?" Violet asked.
"Never, ever, ever," Adrian said. "I wouldn't hit you or yell at you or make you feel bad. And I would never move to Spain without you, either." He paused, then added, "I guess it's too bad I'm not really your dad, huh?"
A very long pause greeted this, and I wondered if he'd made a wrong move. But then Violet said, in the voice she usually reserved for children smaller than her, "We can pretend that you're my dad. Would that help?"
"Maybe," Adrian said, as if mulling it over thoughtfully. "Would I get to read you stories, and give you piggy-back rides, and everything?"
"Yes," Violet said, in an intense whisper. "Definitely."
"Can I draw you pictures of weird animals, and make funny faces at you at the table?"
"Yes," she said again.
"Can we start pretending right now?" Adrian asked.
Violet paused. "Yes," she said, then added, uncertainly, "Should I call you 'Dad' from now on?"
"Only if you want to," Adrian said. "I've gotten used to Mr. Adrian, actually. But you can call me anything you want."
"Ok," Violet said. "Ok, Mr. Adrian."
"Can I call you Miss Purple again?" Adrian asked.
"Yes," she said again.
"Well, then, Miss Purple," Adrian said. "Can we come out from under the table now, do you think?"
"Um," she said, and whispered something to him so quietly that I couldn't hear her. Adrian could, and I saw him gather her into his arms as best he could.
"I promise, Miss Purple," he said. "Forever and ever."
"Ok," she said.
They let go of one another, and then Adrian awkwardly dug into his pocket and pulled out a tissue, which he used to wipe Violet's nose. "There you go, sweetheart," he said.
"Thanks," she whispered, and they came out from under the table.
I found a tissue in my own pocket and used it to dab the tears out of my eyes, then got to my feet so that we could all see each other.
"Hi, you two," I said, in a choked voice. "Violet, are you feeling a little bit better now?"
"A little bit," she said. She looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry," she said.
"It's ok," I said, and went to her. "Everyone gets upset sometimes."
She hugged me tightly. "I wasn't upset," she said. "I was mad."
"Ok," I said. "Well, maybe you and your dad can go out to the living room, and then you can play some more with the other kids."
She stared at me, deciding how to react to my statement. Then she nodded. "Ok," she said. "I'll go with Dad." Then she took Adrian's hand.
"Piggy-back?" Adrian offered, and got down on his haunches to let Violet climb up on his shoulders. Then they went out into the living room, the sounds of Violet's giggles trailing behind them. I took a few moments to compose myself, then followed them out into the living room.
Rose was sitting at the table, rubbing at the corners of her eyes. She must have heard every word of that conversation. In fact, I realized, everyone else in the room was a dhampir and would have heard it just fine, which explained why nearly everyone looked to be in the throes of some kind of severe allergy attack.
As Adrian deposited a giggling Violet down on the ground, I saw Dimitri step forward to play dutiful father. "Is there something you want to say?" he said, pushing Zach gently towards Violet.
"Sorry," the boy said. "Sorry I made you cry, Violet."
"It's ok," Violet said. "You didn't do it on purpose."
"Do you want to play Legos?" he asked. "Or trains? We have some trains, too."
"No cars?" Violet asked.
"We have cars," Cole interjected. "But girls don't like cars."
"Our mom fixes cars," Amy said, proudly. "She's good at it." Both boys stared at me in surprise, and I shrugged.
As the boys began digging through their toys to find their best cars to show off, Amy turned to Violet and said, softly, "Vy-Vy? Um, I'm sorry. Are you ok now?"
"I'm ok, Aim-Aim," Violet said. "Do you want to pretend that we're still sisters?"
"We are still sisters," Amy said. "Not just for pretend. For real life."
Violet looked at me.
"You're half-sisters, it's called," I said. "But that's still sisters."
"Let's pretend we're two-halves sisters," Violet said. "Like the best-friend necklaces that are in two-pieces, and they come together to make one heart..."
"Yes," Amy said, as if what Violet had said made sense. "Just like that." She hugged Violet. "You can still borrow my tricorder. Sometimes. If I'm not already using it."
"Ok," Violet said. She paused. "And you can sit with me in my window seat. Sometimes."
As the two girls gave each other a hug, I sat down at the table, feeling as if a hundred years had passed since I'd stood up from it a few minutes ago. Adrian joined me, and took my hand.
"She's ok?" he asked, quietly.
"Think so," I said.
A soft thud on the table made us both look up. It was Rose, dropping a huge box of tissues on the table.
"You guys," she said, pulling a tissue out and blowing her nose loudly. "Seriously. Just... I can't with you guys."
"Can't what?" Dimitri asked.
"Can't even," Rose said, and dabbed at her eyes.
"Ah," said Dimitri.
Adrian kissed my hand, then passed me a tissue, keeping one for himself. "You ok, Sage?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, hearing an echo of Violet's excited whisper in my own voice.
Thanks to MarijaV for telling me about a really dumb mistake I made. :)