Mass Effect is owned and operated by Bioware and Electronic Artistry

Chapter 21 – Pep Talk

Stupid… fucking… assholes…

John Shepard kneeled before his locker, perpetually scowling at the blasted thing. For one reason or another, his collection of armor, guns, and mods chose today not to be cooperative.

Idiots… ingrates… goddamn… bastards…

His rifle wasn't standing up on the left side like it always would, and the recently added mods on his shotguns were forcing him to place the gun on the locker in a rather precarious position. He'd abandoned slowly and calmly trying to set things up long ago because of their inability to stay in place for long enough. Shepard knew just brute forcing everything likely wouldn't help, but at this moment he couldn't have given a fuck about rationale thought.

Morons… cunts… charlatans…

Shepard thought he knew politicians. Sure, they could be egotistic, shortsighted (or longsighted, in the case of Councilor Tevos), and downright delusional at times. There was a reason he avoided dealing with their types of people as much as he could.

But for all of the likely back door dealings and voter manipulation, the Citadel Council was still a democratically elected body of three. The only people allowed to be elevated to such a position of power surely had to be the most respected, influential, and competent people each of their species could possibly put forth for the candidacy.

And they actually proved Shepard wrong. The Council proved it didn't matter how much education and political savvy you had; it still didn't stop you from being a close-minded fool who ignored the evidence even when it was drenched in blood. Saren, the Reapers, Ilos, all of it was staring them in the face and the Council brushed it aside like a parent whose child told them there was a boogeyman under the bed.

They were all idiots and their cock-sureness would ensure uncountable numbers of people be killed. Tevos, Sparatus, Valern, Udina… especially that two-timing snake Udina. Shepard wanted nothing more than to shoot the man's knees caps out and leave him to hungry varren. He knew the idea to lock down the Normandy was Udina's idea. And not once did Shepard see him pull out his Omni Tool during the meeting to give the order. Udina had already decided to stab him in the back without even hearing Shepard's arguments.

Shepard was a man to whom hate came difficultly. He hates Cerberus for what they did to him and his unit. He hates Saren for all the atrocities the Turian has committed in the name of the Reapers. But that was it. Shepard has disliked numerous people, namely the ones who shoot at him. But he has never regarded them as more than an obstacle; an opposing force to be circumvented. Shepard never brought himself to hate every person who has either disagreed with him or pointed their weapon at him because there simply isn't enough time and energy for a single person to channel such large amounts of meaningless animosity.

But not like this. Udina has questioned his every move, declaimed his every decision, and used Shepard like a political toy whenever it seemed to serve his own ambitions. Udina wasn't a man who cared for the people he represented. He only cared for himself. His egotism, more than that of any of the Council members, was the reason the Reapers would win. Humankind was on the very brink of extinction, and its only hope was stuck in dry dock because of one man's selfish desires.

So yes, John Shepard found he could very easily bring himself to hate Donnel Udina.

The pistol slid off its rack yet again as he tried to reposition his sniper rifle, and Shepard's blood boiled over at last. Rashly, he grabbed the pistol and threw it back into the locker. In the same motion, he grabbed his chest piece and shoved it in with all his might on top of the assault rifle and sniper rifle. Before even a split second had passed, Shepard slammed the door to his locker closed, heedless of the pressures trying to force its way back out. As soon as the seam locked back into place, something inside gave off a definitive sounding SNAP.

Shepard sighed and banged his head on the locker, already starting to realize his error as he calmed down again. He wanted to do something. Anything other than sit around and wait for Judgment Day. But as things stood, his ship was completely locked into place and he was on a station where his every movement was being recorded. Shepard had no way off of the Citadel, and even then he had no way of reaching Ilos in time. And since the Council persisted in only boosting their border patrols rather than chasing down Saren, they were all well and truly fucked.

"Rough day, huh?" asked a person behind him.

At the sound of her voice, his eyes shot open and he whirled around to face her. Ashley Williams stood over him, arms crossed under her chest. She looked… sympathetic more than anything else. They hadn't seen much of each other ever since their argument after Virmire. She didn't look angry with him anymore, but Shepard didn't want to consider himself in the clear just yet.

Shepard turned his body around and let himself fall back against his locker, looking back up at her with an arm leaning on his bent knee. "You heard?" he asked tiredly.

"Joker's been bitching ever since he got locked out of his flight controls," she told him. Ash leaned her hip against the adjacent locker. "The whole Citadel's heard by now."

He grunted in affirmation. "The Council grounded us. No one's going after Saren. Including the Normandy. The Council doesn't want to believe the Reapers actually exist."

Ash rolled her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh. "I hate being right."

Her laid back tone actually brought a chuckle out of him. "I wish I could say I was surprised, but I had a feeling the Council would leave us out to dry when we needed them most."

"I was surprised Udina actually bought into it, the snake," Ash said with a bit of scorn. "I guess he's just like any other politician. The Council's used to being the biggest kid on the playground. They don't want to believe Daddy's coming to pick them up." A pause. "And eat them, I guess."

Shepard felt himself smiling for what felt like the first time in days. Ashley had a funny way of doing that; taking a bad situation and putting a humorous spin on it.

Emboldened, Shepard told her, "No matter what the Council does or doesn't do, we can't just sit here. We're going to have to stop Saren and Sovereign by ourselves." Then his brief moment of bravado was quashed when he evaluated their reality again. "But right now, I don't know how we're even going to get off this station."

"There must be something we can do. Maybe we go through the Council; get President Huerta to back us up and bail us out. It's not like the Council has absolute control over an Alliance vessel. Whatever you come up with, you can count me in."

He looked back up at her, surprised by her assertiveness. "Well look who's being an optimist," he told Ash cheekily.

Ash gave him a coy smile back. "An optimist is what a pessimist calls a realist."

She paused for a moment, looking away as she thought. "Look, Skipper, I know I'm not the easiest person in world to get along with. I get that. So I'll do you a favor, just this once." Ash kneeled down next him and put a hand on his shoulder, an expression of such sincerity it actually surprised him. "I… want you to be happy. Whatever you need, I'll be there to either lend a hand or bail you out. Like always."

A well of emotions blossomed in his chest, and John lightly gripped the hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Ashley," he told her quietly.

Smiling, Ash stood back up to her full height. "There, you made me say it. Boom goes my feminine mystique," she added wryly.

"I'll keep your secret safe, along with your singing," he teased.

"You'd better!" Ash said with a laugh.

For the first time in days, John didn't feel horrible. There wasn't a looming weight of darkness over his shoulder tainting his every interaction. Ashley was smiling again, and because of that he found he could smile again too.

Feeling reenergized, John made to get up, but saw Ashley's open hand extended in front of him. He gripped it and let her drag him up. However, the fast ascension joggled his mind and left Shepard a bit dizzy. Just enough to make him misstep and lose his balance. Before he could topple over, Ashley leaned in to catch his shoulder and keep him steady.

John gripped her arm to keep himself still, and the pair of them froze where they were. They stood there for a moment, unmoving, and John was struck once more by how beautiful Ashley was. Not dazzling beautiful like some Hollywood starlet. She wore a bare minimum of makeup, and John could admit she may not be the most objectively attractive woman he's ever met. But it was a simple yet refined beauty. Ashley never tried to make herself alluring, she simply… was.

His grip trailed down her arm, and the hand on his shoulder crept toward his chest. Ashley stared up at him, her dark brown eyes hooded with a latent desire he knows all too well. Heat crawls up the back of John's neck and they subconsciously moves closer to one another. His eyes drifted close and his head leaned in toward hers the same time Ashley was doing the same…

"Sorry to interrupt, commander, but I got a message for you from Anderson," Joker blared through the ship speakers.

With their lips a scant inch apart their eyes shot open and the two practically jumped away from each other. Ash regained her composure first, running a hand through her hair and directing a glare at the ceiling as if Joker could actually see it. Though embarrassed, John couldn't help but keep smiling. "Are you spying on us, Joker?" he asked in good humor.

"At this point I'm kind of insulted you have to ask," Joker told them with mock chagrin. "But Anderson contacted me, said he wanted him to meet you at Flux, that club in the upper Wards. He made it sound urgent."

"It sounds important. You'd better go," Ashley suggested. A regretful expression crossed her features, but it was gone as soon as he realized it was there.

"Right," he said neutrally, trying to keep his emotions in check. Ash always had a way of making him unravel, lay his emotions bare and cloud his thinking. One moment they were yelling at each other and the next they were making up. "Anderson might be able to help us out. I'll let you know how it goes."

John turned to leave, but before he could actually move a hand grabbed his wrist and secured him in place. "Wait!" Ash said desperately. John turned back around, and she was on him in an instant. A warm hand curled around the back of his neck and pulled his head down so Ash could lock their lips in a bruising kiss. John gripped her sides and pulled her closer, pushing back against her kiss with fervor.

Their tempo slowed and they pulled away from each other, quiet for a moment as they stared at each other. "Does… this mean you're not angry with me anymore?" John asked her meekly.

Ash sighed and rested her cheek on his chest. "I was angry with myself, but I took it out on you because I didn't know how to deal with it. And I'm sorry for that. I… Kaidan was my best friend, and his death left me hurting. But what I said to you wasn't right. I was acting like an idiot, and I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much," he soothed. John hugged her close and buried his face in her hair. "Like I said; I know I mess up sometimes. What I said to you before… should have been saved for another time, not right after losing Kaidan. You probably had every right to be angry with me. But it's enough just knowing you've forgiven me as well."

Ashley kissed his cheek. "I think we both spend too much time apologizing for stupid stuff," she told him with a smile. John hummed with agreement and leaned down to connect their lips once more.

"So are you two back together again?" Joker phoned in once more, ruining the moment.

"We never actually broke up, Joker," Ash told the pilot snidely. "But yes, we're doing fine."

"I swear you two have more ups and downs than couples you find in sappy rom coms."

"Thank you for your two cents, Joker," John cut in. "Please stop snooping now."

"Alright, fine, jeeze." This time the intercom gave a definitive click when Joker signed off.

John was quiet for a moment, giving Ash a hesitant look. "I know I caught you off guard, but I just want you to know-"

A pair of fingers on his lips silenced his words, and Ash's endearing look quelled his desire to keep talking. "Go," she ordered. "We'll have more time to talk on the way to Ilos. But you have to talk to Anderson right now." She gave him a small smile. "And how about I pick up your toys while you're away?"

He sent his locker a guilty glance. "That would be appreciated."

"It's a deal then. Just... try to avoid any politicians while you're out and about. In the state we're all in right now, I wouldn't blame you punching one out."

Author's Note: A bit of a shorter chapter than usual, I realize. I just like this scene in-game so much that there wasn't much I wanted to change to it. Next chapter should be plenty long though.

Also, I went back to Chapter 20 and fixed a couple of errors, namely the Captain/Major Kirahee issue. I dun goofed :P

Thanks again to everyone who Follows, Favorites, or Reviews my story :)