If there was a thing Regina has learnt through the years, it was that it was harder to drown when you had your chin up.
Ever since realizing this, the current Mayor of Storybrooke has decided to keep that statement close to her heart and that was why she refused to walk into any kind of situation if it wasn't with her head held up high; because she would rather hurt her neck for straining it to high than allowing herself to drown in the adversity that seemed to be always following her around.
Call it pride or call it self-preservation, she didn't even really care what it was; the only thing that she knew was that she would give no one the satisfaction of ever seeing her drown.
Especially, if that someone was the one person in the entire world who seemed to be constantly putting all kinds of obstacles in her way to see her fall.
Her mother.
So yes, after falling way too many times in life, this strategy seemed adequate to use against the older woman and despite being very aware of the things she has done or otherwise provoked to keep her face in the mud, Regina always held her head way too high while in her presence.
She did it when she had to come back to town after the accident with Henry just a newborn and she did it when her mother's failed attempt to marry her to a much older man ended up a failure and people started to talk and speculate.
She never bowed her head down when she was menaced to be disowned after she refused to live in the family's house and instead went to live in Daniel's and her chin was up every single time the older woman would tell her that everything that happened she has bought it to herself.
It was hard, no one would know how hard… but despite everything life has thrown at her, regardless of how destiny bent her and changed her into a person she never thought she would become, nothing has ever managed to break down the walls she has built all around her. Not since Daniel…
And at least not until now that her mother came to strike once again.
She didn't even know how to explain how she felt about it, but what her mother did this time took her completely unaware and she wasn't sure about how to react. She was angry, she was upset, confused and above anything, she felt tired of always ending in the same predicament when it came to her progenitor.
"You are going to wear out the titles if you keep pacing."
Stopping on her tracks and taking in a deep breath that was supposed to calm down the turmoil of emotions raging inside of her, Regina clenched her jaw tight as she sent a sideways glance towards the source of that voice.
He was sitting in one of the counter's stools on her kitchen and even though he was straight up looking at her, she couldn't quite read the expression on his face. Realizing that made her completely turn to him to see if she could catch a hint of what he was thinking.
Robin… he looked more serious than his usual self but there was no trace of anger in his eyes; he actually looked kind of sympathetic and she didn't understand why it was that he wasn't affected by what was going on.
After all he had all the motives in the world be angry about her mother using him for whatever master plan she was running in her head. If it hadn't been because he resigned that morning it was his job that was on the line as well, it could have been his son's future and the bread on his table.
"I'm really sorry you got caught up in this. I… I really don't get why she would do this. I mean it doesn't even make sense."
Taking in a deep breath, Robin shrugged. "Are you even sure it was her who sent it?"
Chuckling in the least amused manner ever, Regina placed a hand to her forehead. "Well it's not like I'm certain, I just have Belle's word for it. But Robin-" She began to say as she took a few steps closer towards him. "This is the kind of thing my mother would do. I don't know why would she want to do it but… this, this is so her."
Letting the hand drop to her side, Regina swallowed on dry and settled her eyes on Robin's.
"Want to know what really irks me about this? That I let my guard down and allowed her do this. I let her stay here in my house because I thought that somehow she had a change of heart after I came back from the plane crash but no, as it turns out she was just waiting for the right moment to backstab me again. I'm so, so stupid."
"You are not stupid, she's your mother so of course you were not expecting this."
"But I should have, because I know how she is."
Now, because she knew how her mother was, Regina couldn't say that she was completely surprised, but there was a thing she still quite didn't get.
Ever since Belle told her what was going on, she has been trying to find a motive for the whole thing but she just couldn't. Her mother was pretty much obsessed about her possible re-election so that she would put out there something that had a huge potential of destroying her chances to be elected once again made no sense.
That was where her confusion dwelled. It definitely had to be something that was going to benefit her, the question was what?
"You probably don't understand it, but she's always plotting and scheming for new ways to manipulate me into whatever she wants from me and I'm… so tired of it."
"Come here." Lifting a hand in her direction, Robin motioned her to get closer. She did, and as soon as he circled her frame with his arms to pull her to him she closed her eyes and hid her face into the crook of his neck.
Breathing into his scent she found a deep sense of comfort and even though she was used to dealing with her issues on her own, she was glad that he was there listening to her rants.
He has come as soon as he arrived back into town and ever since crossing through the door he has basically found her a mess. She knew she was rambling and pacing and going through everything over and over in her head and all for nothing because she felt as lost as she felt the moment Belle told her; so that he was still there even though he was now seeing the full picture of how messed up her life really was meant a lot.
"I don't know why this is bothering me so much."
Now, for the good part of the last couple of hours, she has been thinking about what happened and after analyzing it she came up with the same conclusion, that it was ridiculous and even stupid for her to feel so down and beat up after the new betrayal; after all this was her mother's modus operandi and if anything, she should be shocked that it took her so long to come up with it.
One way or another, she would do everything in her power to manipulate her into whatever it was that she wanted, even if that meant ruining her life.
"I think it's natural that this bothers you, you are human after all and even though you like everyone to think your skin is thicker that what it is, you can only bear so much. But regardless of that, you want to know what I really, really think?"
Scoffing, she wrapped her arms around him. "That my life is a damn mess and that it was a mistake to get with me?"
Using the hold he had on her, he made her back up a little so that he could take a look at her face. "I would never think that. If I dealt with you when you were cranky and snarky after the crash, what makes you think I wouldn't want to deal with you now?"
As a response she smiled, but the gesture didn't last long on her lips.
"Actually, what I was thinking is that this…" He grabbed the printed picture that was going to be in the following day newspaper's front page. "This is a bloody good picture of us. It's our first if you come to think about it."
Snarling her lips and sending him and incredulous glance, Regina blinked slowly. "Are you serious?"
"The more I look at it the more I like it. I mean look at your face, it's the same expression you used to send my way back in those first days on the Island; you know, when you though I wasn't looking. You were totally smitten with me and this pictures shows me that you still are."
Despite everything that was going on, what he just said made Regina burst out a laugh. "You wish. I did not look at you in any way that wasn't annoyed, especially on those first days."
"Of course you did. Yes, it may be true that most of the time you sent me dirty looks but I saw how you would stare at me longingly as well."
Rolling her eyes, Regina pursed her lips. "You are being delusional. If anything it was the other way around, you looked at me like you wanted get into my skin. It was quite uncomfortable you know."
Tilting his head to the side and lowering his hands so that he could place them to her lower back, Robin bit into his lips. "You didn't look uncomfortable snuggling up to me every night."
Shrugging and refusing to admit that she has enjoyed those initial nights more than what she should have, Regina clicked her tongue to the roof of her mouth. "The nights there were too cold and you helped with that. It's not my fault if that mind of yours wanted to see more than that."
Snorting, Robin shook his head. "Oh but it was more than just in my mind and that we are here right now just proves it. But if you want to pin the whole thing just on me then alright, I know what I know."
Taking in a deep breath, Regina rested the palm of her hands to his chest. The last exchange between them has been lighthearted and she has gone with it, but now she casted her eyes down and chewed impulsively at her lips.
"In some bizarre kind of way it was easier in the Island. There was no drama and not a single thing to think about other than what was going on. That's why I wanted to let this thing between us die there, because I knew something like this was going to end up happening. I was right, you should've listened to me and just stay away."
Grabbing for her face and making her look at him, Robin scoffed.
"Regina, I'm going to tell you this just this once so listen to me very carefully. It can be a tad long but bear with me, okay?"
Nodding, she sucked in a breath.
"It's no secret that ever since I first saw you, I felt drawn to you. I've told you this before and I'll say it again, I was attracted, even curious but you know, you were not exactly the easiest person to get to know and well, because of that and because the obvious work thing I never even nursed the idea of approaching you in any way that wasn't professional."
He took a moment to move his hand to the back of her head, his fingers buried into her hair while Regina just listened.
"Then when our plane crashed I wasn't even thinking about trying anything with you once it all downed on me; I was just focused on keeping us alive. That I would check you out and maybe snuggle a bit closer? Of course I did, but never with the intention of it going further. But time went on and the more I saw of you the more my mind would wander and yes, I won't deny it, I wanted you. I think we've come a long way since then and we've gone through so much that I still don't understand why is it that you think I'm going to let a silly picture ruin this. I don't regret a thing of what happened between us, not here and not in the island so it's about time you get into that pretty head of yours that I'm going to be here for the long run no matter what."
"It's not just a silly picture, Robin. It's my career, yours, my messed up relationship with my mother and the fact that because of her I'm just… I'm as messed up as she wants me to be."
"You are not messed up, you are one of the strongest woman I know, if not the most. I thought so before all of this started and now that I got to know you better I'm sure of it. Not everyone would have come out stronger after the things you went through and look at where you are. That is something no one can take away from you."
Dragging her hand towards his cheek, she leaned forward and kissed him, letting her lips linger against his for several seconds before pulling away.
"As for the picture? Screw it. We can turn this around, I'm not your auditor anymore so instead of letting this be tomorrow's story of the day let's make it today's surprise sighting so how about we go together and pick up the boys from school and then take it from there? Let's blow the novelty of us being together be a thing come tomorrow."
Humming and sliding her hands to his shoulders, Regina snorted. "Well that sounds like a plan that would definitely make my mother auto combust in anger, but I think it's better if I cool off first and analyze what is it that I want to do when it comes to her and everything that came up with her little feat."
"I thought you wanted to confront her as soon as she arrived."
"I did." She still wanted that, of that there was no doubt. "But I don't think I'm mentally prepared for it right now; I'm drained as it is and having a one on one with her will just make me go at her full force and I don't want that. Instead I just want to go back to the office and finish with a few things to help clear my mind a little bit."
Yes, she was too emotional about the whole thing in that moment and if she confronted Cora she was going to end up showing weakness and that she wasn't going to let happen.
"I'm going to ask you for a raincheck for tonight's dinner too, I just don't feel like I'll be the best company."
"Oh…"
"I just want to think all of this through."
"Well then, whatever it is that you decide to do just know that you can count on me, you know that, right?"
Her lips curved into a smile. "I know. I just need time to process all of this."
"I just don't want you to forget that. I know that there's a lot going on in your mind and I understand, I really do; but at the same time I know I have to be patient I feel that you push and pull at me at the same time and I just don't want you for you to all of a sudden decide that you just want to push."
"I'm not pushing… I have never in my life pushed less than now with you. Now I know I'm not very good when it comes to this kind of thing but hey, the last serious relationship I had was more than a decade ago and that one left me so scarred that I sometimes can't help but to hesitate; but I do want this. I just… I just need to go through this in my own time."
"Well, I'll take the raincheck then, but I won't let you go into seclusion in that office of yours so if I know you are still there by nightfall I will go there and make you come out."
Nodding and getting lost in the depths of his stare, Regina wondered if there was really a thing to think when it came to the man. She knew where she stood when it came to him and she knew what she wanted, so there shouldn't be a problem in that regard, but at the same time she wanted to take things step by step because she didn't want to jinx it.
She was so used to things turning for the worse and she didn't want Robin to be yet another one of those things just because she rushed it.
Sure, he was probably right about letting people see them because that would make the newspaper come off as an old story and that could ruin her mother's plans, whatever they were, but just in case she wanted to think it through before acting.
"With that settled there's only one thing pending between us." As he said that he grabbed her chin and made her look towards the countertop.
It took her a couple of seconds to actually see it but when she did she groaned. "Robin-" With everything that went on she just forgot about it, but as she saw the little box just resting there she did find it to be unnecessary.
Yes in a moment when her mind wasn't in the right place she agreed to it, but now that it was there she didn't think it was what she needed at the moment.
"I'm telling you right now what the results will be. Negative. I am not pregnant."
Taking the box in his hands, he shrugged. "If you are so sure then why so scared of it?"
"Tsk, I'm not afraid, give me that." Taking the box out of his hands she opened it and started reading the instructions.
It was extremely easy to use so she went with it to the bathroom and dealt with it. It was the only way to make him desist on the idea that she could be pregnant and even when she wouldn't admit it, it was going to give her a little bit of peace of mind to see the negative result.
Once done with it she let the test over the sink, washed her hands and went out to met Robin.
"So?"
"So it says we need to wait a few minutes."
Humming, he reached for her and pulled her close enough so that he could kiss her. He did it slow and deep and by the time he pulled away she felt like she needed more.
It was just a kiss, yes, but as his lips claimed hers and his tongue danced with hers she felt like her mind could finally settle in the right place. Maybe she didn't need to get busy with work, maybe what she needed was just him.
"This is the first time you are actually in my house." She said as a matter of fact while tugging at his lips with her teeth.
"It is." He replied with a smile as he grabbed her hips to pull her even closer.
"And I don't think I've show you my bedroom yet."
"Lead the way then." He kissed her again, this time adding even more pressure and impetus. It left her breathless so it was her the one who broke the contact this time.
Grabbing his hand she made as if to lead him upstairs, but when he pulled at her hand and pointed at the bathroom instead she quirked her lips. "I think we have business in there first."
"Are you serious?"
Nodding and refusing to let go of her hand, he guided her into the small room. It was her half bathroom so it wasn't like there was so much space for the two of them. He looked first, the expression on his face never changing.
"Well look at that, can't say I'm surprised."
Frowning, she took a look as well and when she did she almost did a double take. "What-" She began to ask while grabbing the test so that she could take a better look. "I think this one is broken."
Snorting and wrapping his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head and then her forehead. He also went to kiss her lips but she was too busy staring at the test to respond in kind.
"It's not broken, it clearly says you are pregnant."
Blowing out a breath and searching for his eyes, she shook her head. "But it can't… I don't get it." And she didn't, she was confused and the sound of her heart beating so hard into her chest wasn't letting her concentrate either.
As she tried for everything to make sense, he grabbed her face and kissed her. It wasn't like the previous one, this one was more tender than passionate and in the middle of it she couldn't decide what to make of the whole thing.
The only consistent thought swirling inside her mind was that no, apparently what happened in the Island didn't necessarily stay in the Island…
TBC