A/N: So here is the last chapter before the epilogue! I had the second part of this chapter all planned in my head ever since I wrote the very first chapter of this story. It's been a while now and I still can't believe how far this story has gotten. And it's all thanks to you guys!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know ;)

I don't own anything :)

Barry fidgeted with his tie for the thousandth time in the last ten minutes. He felt nauseated, like he couldn't breath, like the collar of his shirt was closing in on his throat, taking his last breaths away. He wasn't sure if he could do this. Every nerve-ending in his body was telling him to just run away and never look back, to get out of there, to start all over again, with a new identity, with a new story, in a new city, with a new job and everything, leave all the rest behind. But he knew he couldn't do that. I didn't want to run away.

A firm hand settled on his shoulder, bringing him out of his nervous trance.

"Hey, how are you doing buddy?"

Barry turned around and faced Cisco. "Cisco, I didn't know you were coming." He exclaimed surprised to see the young man.

Cisco shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. "Yeah, well Caitlin told me the commemoration was today, so I thought I'd drop by to show you my support. You look like you need it."

Barry felt his heart swell at the thought of Caitlin talking about him and the commemoration. He hadn't heard from him since he had spent the night in front of her apartment and he had stopped trying to contact her. He had received the message loud and clear: she didn't want to talk to him. But she must not hate him that much if she had hinted to her best friend in what state of mind Barry would be. More than that, it also told him that she had heard his long monologue outside her apartment.

"I really appreciate it, Cisco." Barry thanked him, feeling a bit lighter now. The young engineer nodded, gave him a light tap on the shoulder, before making his way to find a place to sit. Barry soon followed his example and went to sit in the front row, just in front of a big photo of his parents.

The beginning of his parents' commemoration was a bit morose, with a few words from a pastor that Barry didn't quite pay attention to. The ceremony was taking place outside, near their actual graves and Barry closed his eyes, letting the wind stroke his face. He opened his eyes just when they called out to him. He had to get up to make a speech, but he wasn't quite sure if he could do it. On his left, his friends gave him encouraging looks and nods.

Barry took a deep breath and finally made his way to the front, facing the rows of chairs filled with people coming in remembrance of the great couple that his parents had been. He took the piece of paper, where he had written his speech, out of his inner jacket pocket. He blankly stared at the words but was somehow incapable of saying them. So he decided to crumple the piece of paper into his clenched fist.

Barry looked up and cleared his throat. "Well, first of all, I would like to thank you all for coming… I'm sure my parents would really appreciate it…" He managed to say and he received compassionate looks from his audience. "Not sure that they care right now…" He mumbled bitterly. "They were taken away from this earth way too early! They were torn away from me as I was just a kid." He spat out angrily, tears burning his eyes. Who in the world had thought that him making a speech would be a good idea?

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had to be strong even if his life was completely falling apart. "I'm sorry… guess I'm still a bit bitter about everything… but… they were great… so they deserve a great speech… not sure I'm the greatest speaker here… I mean… look at me rambling here… I can't possible make them justice…" Barry shook his head and cleared his throat again. "Maybe one day I'll come to peace with what happened… but I'm not quite there yet… phew, this is way harder than I thought… I… I…"

A slight movement in the corner of his vision caught his attention, immediately stopping his babbling speech. He turned his head to the left, and there, against a tree, was the person he needed the most right now. She was quite far though, so he couldn't decipher the look on her face. But he would recognise her everywhere, in the middle of a crowed or in a desert.

That was Dr. Caitlin Snow.

And somehow, seeing her there, all dressed in black, leaning sideway against a tree, looking at him, was the only push he needed to find the strength to talk in front of all these people, to make a proper speech that would represent the greatness that were his parents. And all he need was her presence by his side.

To his great surprise, a loud rain of applause welcomed his speech and Barry felt kind of overwhelmed by everything, tears finally streaming down his face. And all of a sudden, everyone was gathering around him, giving him a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a tap on his back, a supportive arm squeeze…

It was about 30 minutes later when he finally could breath freely again, people gradually leaving the graveyard to head towards the reception at Joe's house. Barry looked around, searching for that one person that had given him the strength to go through all of this. But he couldn't find her.

Cisco was the one to tell him what he had feared. "I'm sorry dude, but she left."

Barry could only nod and follow the rest of them.

At least she had showed up.

[5 months later]

The Mercury labs' building was huge compared to the S.T.A.R. labs' complex. The security, though, was about as much developed, maybe even more. Barry showed his personal I.D. at the entrance and got a small 'Visitor' pass to pin on his chest as long as he was on the premises.

Diligently, he followed Cisco's directions to that lab he was the most interested in. In the past months, he had spent more and more time with Cisco and considered him now as one of his best friends. Even if the whole Caitlin betrayal was still a sensitive subject between both men, they were still pretty close. Barry also saw the opportunity in that friendship for him to keep track on Caitlin's wellbeing.

That's how he new that after closing up S.T.A.R. labs, Caitlin had been offered a great position at Mercury Labs, at the great pleasure of her parents. Cisco had told him she had had absolutely no problems getting back to work. He had also told him it was her coping mechanism, to dive into her work and shut herself out from the rest of the world. As her best friend, Cisco had tried to get her out of her shell, without much success. And he perfectly knew who could do what he couldn't.

So that's why he helped Barry get back in touch with her, explaining to him where he would find her in Mercury Labs, including her schedule so that he didn't miss her.

Silently, Barry stepped into the room, stopping against the doorframe, observing what was unfolding in front of him. There she was, intensely concentrated on some high tech microscope, wearing her favourite lab coat open, scribbling some notes on her pad from time to time. Her hair was loose, the red shirt she had under her lab coat was bringing out her lips while her dark skirt and high heels were accentuating her magnificent legs.

She looked incredibly good. But what was even more breathtaking was the way she always put her heart and soul into her work, how passionate she was. Barry felt like he hadn't seen her in ages. 6 months was a long time – well 5 if you counted the time he had spotted her at his parents' commemoration – but it felt like way more. And he realised that his feelings for her had in no way lessened in that time.

Caitlin stopped working when she felt a presence on her right. She slowly lifted her head from the microscope before turning to face him. The frown present on her face suddenly relaxed, as she saw him standing there.

"What are you doing here?" She asked very softly, a small smile creeping on her lips.

Barry's heart swelled inside his chest at the sound of her voice. God he had missed her so much. He pushed himself off of her doorframe and took a few steps towards her. "I'm sorry, I should've… called…" He stuttered, his hands moving randomly in front of him, and he mentally cursed himself for being incapable of talking like a decent human being in her presence. "Or something, I just… I wanted to see you."

Her smile widened a bit, with a touch of understanding. "It's been a while."

"Yeah…" Barry slowly nodded. "I saw you at my parents' commemoration. You have no idea how much it meant to me to see you there. You, better than anyone know that I didn't deserve you being there."

She looked at him wide-eyed, slightly shaking her head as if he were crazy. "Of course you did."

"No…" He breathed out with a weak sad smile. Barry looked down at his feet for a moment, searching the right words to tell her, before looking back up to her face. "Cait, what I did to you is pretty much unforgiveable. I lied to you, and I led you on… I was using your position at S.T.A.R. labs to get information for my job…"

"I was doing the same thing, remember?" She cut him off.

Barry snickered, appreciating her attempt of comforting him. "Yeah, but that's not the same thing. You were using your own privilege. You weren't using me."

"But I still never told you about it." Caitlin shrugged.

"You couldn't, you swore secrecy to A.R.G.U.S." Barry stated.

"And so did you with Starling Investigation." She added before he could argue further. "Barry, I know that you blame yourself for all that went down, for me losing my job, for deceiving me… But it isn't your fault. You did everything that you could, with what you had. You had no control about what was happening, you were in over your head."

Barry shook his head for the thousandth time. How could she still be so understanding? Why wasn't she shouting and throwing things at him? "But I still agreed to go through with it. I still lied to you."

"And I knew that. We talked about it, remember?" She softly reminded him. "You told me you weren't honest with me and I still let you stay into my life. So really, I'm to blame if I got hurt, because I let you hurt me."

Barry gaped at her, taking a step forward, taking her arms by the elbows in his hands. "No, Cait, you have nothing to blame yourself for. Absolutely nothing, do you hear me?" He exclaimed a bit louder than before.

"And neither do you." Caitlin retorted weakly, a little shaken by his outburst and ignoring the shiver his touch sent along her spine. "I saw how it was eating you inside. Now that I know what was going on, I understand every single thing that happened."

Barry frowned and let go of her arms. "You understand?"

Caitlin simply nodded in response.

"So why did you leave the cemetery before I could even thank you for coming?" He inquired.

Caitlin swiftly looked away from his intense gaze, slightly nibbling on her lower lip. "I wasn't sure if I could face you yet."

Barry winced at her words, clenching his eyes shut as if he had just received a punch in his guts, all his hopes from her previous words shattering into pieces. Her eyes flew up to his face and she cursed herself for doing that to him.

He shook his head, gathering the rest of his strength before opening his eyes again. "I see, well I'm sorry for disturbing you in your work." His voice was strained. "I'll leave you to it." And he began moving back to the door, shoulders slumped and eyes looking to the ground.

"No, Barry, wait." She stopped him, taking one step towards him, ready to grab his arm if he really tried to leave. Caitlin's breath caught when his pained eyes met hers again. "That's not what I meant."

Barry frowned at her and she took a deep breath before explaining herself. "I came because I wanted to be there for you, I know how hard it must have been. But I still hadn't dealt with everything that had happened; I was still struggling with adjusting to my new life." Caitlin let a hand run through her hair before fidgeting with the hem of her lab coat, nervous about her next words. "And I knew that if I got physically close to you again, I wouldn't be able to stop myself…"

There was a pause and Barry didn't dare moving, afraid that everything would crumble or that he would wake up from a dream. "Stop yourself from what?" He finally asked, a little out of breath.

Her hazel eyes met his green ones and she cleared her throat. "Stop myself from reaching out to you, from touching you, from hugging you, from kissing you, from falling in love with you all over again." She breathed out, a small blush creeping up her cheeks at her confession and suddenly realising how close he was right now.

Time stopped around them. He stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. And they stopped blinking, not wanting anything to come between them, breaking the eye contact they had at this precise moment. His eyes trapped hers and it was physically impossible for her to wrench them away from his grip. She had missed those green eyes in the past 6 months. She had absolutely no idea how she had managed to survive so long without meeting them. It was like a missing piece of herself had just been put back in its place.

"I thought… Do you… I… Don't you… Don't you hate me?" Barry finally broke the silence with a stuttering voice, not quite believing what she had just said.

"No…" Caitlin breathed out with a light chuckle and a headshake.

"Do you… Do you forgive me?" His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew she had heard him.

Her blush increased tremendously. "I'm pretty sure I forgave you ever since you spent the whole night sitting in front of my apartment door pouring your heart out." She murmured back, reaching inside the pocket of her lab coat and taking a red bow tie out of it. His red bow tie. "I knew then that you never faked any feelings towards me."

Without thinking twice about it, Barry took two wide steps towards her and engulfed her in his arms, a yelp of surprise escaping her lips, the bow tie slipping out of her fingers and falling to the ground. But soon, her own arms were grabbing his back, glad to feel him against her again after all this time. She didn't want to let go of him ever again.

Caitlin's face found one of her favourite places again, snuggling in the crook of his neck, dropping her lips there; leaving a small trail of kisses along the column of his throat. She felt his skin tremble as he groaned under her ministrations. Soon, she felt two strong hands cup her face, pulling her away from his neck and finally reuniting their lips after all this time. She pretty quickly parted her lips, letting him all the way in and she felt her knees buckle under her weight. She was pretty sure that, if it weren't for his strong arm going to her waist, she would've collapsed to the ground from dizziness.

"I'm really sorry for everything." He apologised again against her lips when they finally parted.

Caitlin smiled, pecked his lips and whispered: "I know Barry."

"No, but I really mean it. I need you to understand that. I never ever wanted to hurt you." He let his fingers trail along her face, drawing her features as if he wanted to imprint them in his mind. Though he was pretty sure they already were.

She lovingly rubbed her nose against his. "I know." She repeated as softly as before.

"Because I love you so much, I really do. And I missed you. And…"

"Oh would you just shut up for a moment?" Caitlin chuckled before crashing her lips back to his. She never wanted to spend so much time without feeling them ever again. Everything snapped back into place as her right hand buried itself back into his hair while her left one gripped the lapel of his jacket, keeping him close to her. From there, the heat of their kiss pretty much escalated. Barry backed her against her desk, swiftly lifting her up so that she could sit on it as he placed himself right between her parted legs.

Barry suddenly pulled away, breaking their contact – making her whimper in the process – and frowned at her. "How did you know I spent the whole night in front of your door?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes, bringing his face back to hers. How could he think about that when all she could think about were his lips? Preferably against hers. "My neighbour came the evening after, telling me he found some crazy man sleeping in front of my door and that I should be careful." She chuckled before resuming their make out session.

Heavy breaths and deep moans being the only sounds around them.

They parted as breathing became a necessity again and Barry dived immediately to her neck, nibbling her skin there, earning him a few sounds she would've never ever imagined doing in her lab. But she couldn't find it in herself to care about it. All that mattered was the feeling of him in her arms, her hands deep in his messy hair, his lips against her skin.

"I've waited 6 months for this." He mumbled in her neck.

"What took you so long?" She chuckled against his hair.

Barry pulled away to look straight into her hazel eyes. He tried to catch his breath, his face turning serious. "I wanted to come before, believe me. I wanted to come back after that night I spent in your corridor." Barry made a pause to calm himself. "But then I saw you at the cemetery, and you left before I could even talk to you. So I just assumed you didn't want to speak to me and decided to let you the time you asked for. And I thought that, maybe, when you'd be ready, you'd be the one reaching out to me." He looked away for a moment, embarrassed about being weak in front of her, but she immediately cupped his face to bring his eyes back to hers.

"I did need time, so thank you for giving it to me." She let her thumb graze his jaw, making him shiver a little. "But then I also wanted to see if you were true to your words, if you would truly fight for me."

His hands gripped tighter on her waist, bringing her closer to him. "I'd do whatever it takes to be with you, Cait."

"I believe you." Caitlin's eyes flitted to his lips before going back to his green eyes. And in them, she saw everything she needed, she saw his feelings for her, she saw his honesty, she saw the both of them, together. "I am so in love with you." She whispered huskily as her cheeks became redder.

Barry closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if to take the moment in at its fullest. He had probably waited for that moment all of his life. The moment when he would have the love of his life in his arms, telling him how much she loved him, without anything holding them back from living their lives together. They were completely honest with each other, nothing was threatening to come between them and everything felt pretty much perfect.

And Barry Allen felt at peace.

Because he was whole again.

Because Caitlin Snow was in his arms.