A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, it just was so hard in ending this story and some of you might not like the decision that Bella decided on but I thought it would be best for the character to do it, so give it a chance. Thanks again to everyone for reviewing especially, shorty84 thanks for sharing that with me. Also, I cannot forget my fabulous Beta reader who made this story flow so much better, AcrossTheSkyInStars. Thanks again!!!!!

Bella's POV:

"Edward, I've decided."

I took a deep breath and felt my heart slowly breaking at the words that were about to come out of my mouth; for making this horrendous decision.

"I'm going to terminate it."

Saying it out loud made it seem all too real. I was expecting tears to be falling down my face, but none came. For the first time in my life I felt absolutely nothing and I didn't know whether it was the decision I was making or if a little piece of me was dying along with this child.

Edward on the other hand let out a sigh of relief and something inside of me was angry. He wrapped his arms around my torso and held me tightly to him. He kissed the side of my face and nuzzled his nose into my hair.

"Thank god. I can't lose you and I know you might hate me for saying that, but it's for the best."

I rubbed his back and felt his face burrowing deeper, his nose inhaling my scent. I wanted to stay like this forever, never moving to let the world in to see what I had done.

"I know, Edward."

I felt the pain medications slowly easing their way into my bloodstream, dragging me into unconsciousness, and I no longer had the urge to fight it.

"Edward, I'm going to shut my eyes for a little bit, please go take care of Anthony," I mumbled to him.

I felt Edward's arms as they now hung onto me loosely. He pulled back, and as my lids closed I felt his lips gently grazing my cheek, faintly hearing his soft whispers of assurance that we were making the right decision. Before I could muster any strength to even tell him I knew it was for the best I drifted off, letting the meds take me as I fell into yet another sleepless dream.

Edward's POV:

When Bella told me her decision a part of me was relieved that she chose herself, but another part of me hated the idea of what was going to happen to her. I knew we couldn't have both and the odds were against her; the child would survive, but with it Bella's death would surely follow. I dreaded the next day when the operation was going to take place, but I also feared what the new Bella was going to act like.

I unhooked my arms from around her and pressed my lips to her delicate cheek. I didn't want to move at first; all I wanted to do was stare down at my angel and feel her soft skin against mine. I grabbed her hand and pressed my lips to the back of her clammy flesh, gently brushing my thumb along her palm.

I leant down and whispered into her ear, "I'll be right back, baby. I'm never going to leave you."

I inhaled her calming scent once again before fully prying myself from her. I walked out of her room with a heavy heart; not only did I have to tell everyone what was going on in the first place, I now had to tell them the decision we'd made. The walk down the long corridor seemed to go on forever but I relished in it because it gave me more time to think everything over.

I was debating on whether telling Alice and Emmett now would be a good idea, until I realized there would be no good time to tell them this kind of news. I walked back into the waiting room and saw that both my sister and brother were still in the same position as I left them in. I went over to the chair that I earlier occupied and sat down. I had no clue what I was going to say; I thought if I got here the words would be already in my head but nothing was making any sense.

I noticed Alice waking up, her arms stretching over her head and sticking in the air. She let out a huge yawn and started to crack her neck.

"God, these chairs suck," she groaned. I didn't even look up because I knew another break down was on its way and I was too exhausted to deal with it. "Edward you need to get some rest, you look like shit," Alice told me with stifled yawn, trying to straighten out my disheveled shirt.

I looked up to her, the familiar sting of tears assaulting the back of my lids as I met the tired eyes of Alice.

Well…here goes nothing.

Alice's POV:

I couldn't believe this was happening to Bella.

I thought that maybe she was pregnant again because of her mood swings and all her urgent bathroom runs. But when Edward told me she threw up blood I knew it was worse. In the last couple of days I'd noticed that she'd become thinner as well, her once vibrant complexion turning pallid and gray.

But as I sat in the uncomfortable, generic chair in the hospital's waiting room, the stiff kink running through my entire body awoke me from my restless sleep. I sat up and arched my back, cracking all the bones in it and my neck as I noticed Edward sitting next to me. His own neck was bent; eyes fixated on the ground as his hunched posture told me something was off. The eyes that were unmoving on the floor sent a chill up my spine; I'd seen those eyes before.

When he'd first lost Bella.

"Edward, you need to get some rest, you look like shit," I told him, trying to swallow the lump in my throat because I knew something wasn't right here. Edward didn't move and his eyes didn't shift, but when tears began forming in his eyes, moisture gathering and a lone tear falling down his face, I started panicking.

"Oh my god – Edward, what's wrong?" I begged him, my voice wavering with my unease.

Please don't tell me she's dead.

He shook his head slowly, and threading his fingers through his hair he began to rub at it harshly, like he was trying to rip the hair from his head. I couldn't stand seeing him like this so I bent down on my knees, trying to shake him out of this funk he'd gotten himself into, but nothing seemed to work. With a sigh I took his face in my hands and saw the tortured, twisted features of my brother; tears were assaulting his cheeks, threatening to drip down his chin and onto his crumpled shirt.

"Edward," I whispered.

He choked back a sob and wrapped his arms around me, bowing his head and crying into my shoulder. All I could do at this point was soothe him as tears of my own began pooling and falling with my uncertainty. I rocked Edward back and forth, much like when we were children, and that seemed to calm him.

"Edward, what the hell's going on?" Emmett's groggy voice asked from a few chairs down. At Emmett's question Edward and I parted, his eyes frantic and pained as his break down seemed to be near its end.

I looked over to Emmett and saw the panic etched onto his face; never before had he seen Edward cry, and to see him right now, coming undone at the seams in front of us, must've scared him to death.

Edward lifted a shaky hand to his face and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Bella's pregnant," was all he said. I looked up to him quizzically; shouldn't he be excited by this news?

"That's great but why are you crying?" Emmett asked confusedly. Edward couldn't even look up at us to tell us the news.

"It's killing her," he said with a crackled sob. "It's killing her,"he repeated, shaking his head. He kept on repeating the same three words and each time his voice would become more gravelly and dead than it already was. I felt his body crumbling from his break down and I grabbed him into another hug, rubbing my hands along his back in an effort to comfort him. I didn't even know what to do; what did he mean it was killing her?

I turned my head to a scared looking Emmett and wiped the tears from my cheek on my shoulder. "Edward – you're not, making sense," I told him, swallowing thickly. For a few minutes he said nothing, just lay his head against me in silence. But when he composed himself he peeled his head from my shoulder and sighed deeply.

"The doctors said that Bella's body is too weak to carry on with the pregnancy and if she did it would kill her." He took a deep breath before looking down at me again. "She – no, we – decided it was best to terminate it."

I covered my mouth with my hand and shook my head. Out of all the things I was prepared to hear, that was the last thing on my list. I had so many questions but I knew Edward was fragile right now and I didn't want to push him further.

We stayed in silence for a little bit before Emmett spoke up first. "Can we see her?" Emmett asked.

"She's asleep," Edward said and Emmett nodded in response.

Now comes the waiting game.

Bella's POV:

I woke up expecting to be back at home, Edward arms wrapped securely around me, but the sound of the monitors told me otherwise. My head was pounding and my arms were sore from all the needles punctures. I thought I was alone but then I saw Edward's head resting by my stomach.

The hospital room looked different; no doubt Edward had a hand in that and I was thankful that it was a private room. I saw Emmett and Alice asleep on each other on the couch that was at the far side of the room.

The soreness of my back was starting to get to me and I started to shift my position to get more comfortable, causing a sleeping Edward to wake up. His tired eyes opened and he sat up quickly, brushing the hair away from my face.

"Good morning, I think," I said. I was unsure on how long I slept, hopefully it wasn't too long. Edward's mouth lifted at the corners and a small but cute smile graced his lips. He leant forward andkissed the palm of my hand.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "To be expected but at least I'm not feeling nauseated."

"That's good."

Edward grabbed my hands into his own and started to rub them with his thumbs. I looked over to a sleeping Alice and Emmett. "Do they know?"

Edward looked over at them and back at me again. "Yes."

I nodded. "Well at least they know. So when should I be expecting the doctor?"

"Well the nurses have been checking up on you and they said that the doctor should be coming by later to verify a few things and schedule a surgery."

"Okay."

Awkward silence fell upon us. "Everything's going to be alright, Bella."

I looked back up at Edward and smiled. "I know, Edward, I know."

"You're finally awake!" Alice shouted from the other side of the room. The next thing I felt was Alice's arms being wrapped around me.

"Alice, don't break her," Edward said.

"Don't worry about it," I said as Alice pulled back and sat at the other side of my bed. "How are you, Alice?"

She gave me a puzzled look. "Only you would care about others right now."

"Alice, I'm in no mood for a pity party, so don't bother to try to give it to me."

Alice frowned, and looking between her and Edward I noticed that both of them looked downright depressed.

I felt a pang in my chest. I should be feeling this way, shouldn't I? I mean, I make this life altering decision, with the surgery surely only a few hours away, and here I am, perfectly composed. Shouldn't I be crying myself into hysterics by now? Something, anything?

I saw Emmett now standing by the side of my bed where Edward was; all three of them kept staring at me like I was an exotic animal in an exhibit.

"Will you guys stop?" I said with annoyance.

"Stop what?" Edward asked.

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Stop staring at me like I'm some kind of freak. I'm fine. Once this surgery done and over with, we can get back to our lives."

They mumbled apologies and all looked at something else in the room, avoiding my gaze. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me for speaking harshly to them. "Sorry guys, I shouldn't be taking my stress out on you."

"Bella, it's okay. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now," Emmett said.

I gave him a warm smile, trying my best to make everyone believe that I was somewhat okay.

But was I really?

Before I had a change to contemplate Dr. Pryce walked into the room, breaking up the awkward silence that had befallen us.

"Glad to see you're up, Bella," she said to me with a friendly smile.

"Me too," I replied solemnly.

Dr. Pryce looked at everyone before her eyes met mine again. "Bella I would like to talk to you about the surgery. Should I continue?" She asked, looking to Alice and Emmett questioningly.

"They're okay, please continue," I assured her, waving my hand at Alice and Emmett.

"Well, since you don't have any food in your system and your body is responding well to the medication I gave you, I was thinking that we should do the operation today. I think it would be better for your body if we operate now."

I looked at Edward and noticed that he wasn't really paying attention, it seemed like he was off in another world.

"Yes, I think that is wise," I told her. Alice's hand was shaking as she held onto mine.

"Are you sure that this is the only choice?" Alice begged. "Maybe you're wrong?"

The doctor looked down. "We ran numerous tests, and with Bella's history it seems that her body at this stage in her life is not able to carry on with both lives."

"So she can get pregnant again?" Emmett asked. I looked up at the doctor, also wanting to know the answer to that question myself.

"It is possible in the future that Bella's body will be able to survive the pregnancy but due to her weakened state right now her body is much too fragile. You see sir –"

"Emmett," he said to her, cutting her off.

"Emmett," she repeated with a slight grin. "It is not unheard of that women who had to terminate their first pregnancy due to illness were able to get pregnant again and both the child and mother survived without any medical problems."

I nodded my head along with Emmett and saw as something flickering behind Edward's eyes. He woke up from his daze and stood up, running his fingers through his hair before looking at Dr. Pryce.

"Will this surgery hurt Bella?"

I looked up to him and he returned my gaze, watching me as she answered him.

"No, Bella should make a full recovery in a couple of hours. The thing that is the most damaging is the emotional stress. The idea of terminating a wanted pregnancy is hard for anyone, especially the mother, but this doesn't mean the end for you Bella. Do you have any more questions?"

Once again all eyes were on me, wanting to know what I was thinking.

"Can I see my son before I go under?"

The doctor nodded. "Of course, I'll put you down for surgery late in the evening to get you all situated. But that means I can't give you any food or drinks before surgery."

I thought about eating or drinking something and just the vision of anything edible made me feel sick.

"I can handle that," I said with a nod.

"Alright, well if you would excuse me," Dr. Pryce said, looking at me. "Bella, this was a smart decision, and even though you might regret it just think about all the people who love you." She gave me a small smile. "You will be fine, you're a strong person."

With that the doctor left. I rested my head back on the rock hard pillows and closed my eyes, absorbing all the information.

"Can you get Rose, Jasper, and Anthony down here please?" I asked quietly.

"Of course. Come on Alice let's give those two some alone time," Emmett replied. My eyes were still closed when I heard the door shut and Edward's head now rested on the crook of my neck.

"Please tell me you're okay?" He asked. I didn't know what to say really. I mean, I think I am but who knows for sure?

"I will be," I said with uncertainty. I turned my head and rested it on top of Edward's as his arms wrapped protectively around my stomach.

"Edward, don't blame yourself for this."

"How can I not?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I inhaled sharply and turned my face so I was looking at him. "Don't say that. You are blameless."

"Bella, all I do is cause you pain. I mean, I made you drop everything to be with me," he said, his voice breaking near the end. I leant down and kissed each of his cheeks.

"Edward, you are one of the only good things in my life right now and that is what I need at the moment. Even though we have this huge roadblock in our way we will overcome it because we didn't come this far to give up now."

"I love you," he whispered. I looked deep into his eyes and melted when I was met with the fathomless pools of emerald.

"I love you more."

Jasper's POV:

"Rose, will you please cut it out!" I told her, more than annoyed with her pacing. Rose gave me a death stare and started to pace once more. Anthony was eating his cereal in the kitchen watching his early morning cartoons while Rose and I were in the living room trying to figure out what was going on with Bella..

Rose was still pissed that Emmett got to go with Alice to the hospital; no doubt he would be making up for it later tonight.

When the three of us came home a couple hours ago we had been greeted by a frightened, red-eyed Rose and Alice and I knew something was wrong. Alice was near hysterics, not making any sense, while Rose the Ice Queen came out in full swing. Luckily Anthony was asleep at the time and still believed that Bella and Edward were out buying present for him.

Rose and I hadn't got a wink of sleep and I was going to kill Alice and Emmett for not calling us to give us an update.

"So why the fuck are they not calling? It must be bad," Rose shouted. I hissed at Rose to keep her voice down, and she flipped me off before dropping down on the couch.

"Everything's fine, you know how hospitals are with cell phones."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Whatever, Emmett is so not getting any for the next month," she muttered.

The ring of the phone broke the silent death glares Rose and I were shooting at each other and we both raced over to it. I was thankful that she had been sitting down because I was the one to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Jasper, we need you to bring Rose and Anthony to the hospital," Alice said.

I noticed that Alice's voice seemed distant and strained, like she had been crying.

"Alice, please tell me Bella's okay?"

The thought of losing Bella made me sick to my stomach. I noticed over the past few weeks that she had been getting even sicker and I regret with everything in me for not telling anyone or forcing her to the hospital. I heard Emmett trying to get on the phone but Alice hissed at him.

"She's okay, I think. She's going into surgery later on today and she wanted to see Anthony and you guys before she goes under."

I had so many questions running through my head. "What's going on with her?"

"Jasper, honey, I can't talk right now – just please, come down here," Alice pleaded.

With that she hung up. I looked over to Rose who had been trying to listen in on the conversation and saw that she was giving me a weary glance back.

"So what the hell is wrong with Bella?!" Rose yelled.

"I have no clue, let's grab Anthony and see what's going on."

Edward's POV:

I rested my head back down on Bella's stomach after another long conversation on how we were going to deal with this whole fucked up situation. Bella's delicate hands were running through my hair, helping me drift off to sleep. I tried to protest the idea but she wouldn't give in and I felt the pressure of unconsciousness weighing heavily on my lids.

She was humming something before the darkness took over, but before I could fully enjoy it the voices of Jasper, Rose, and Anthony woke me up.

I heard Bella shushing everyone, telling them to keep it down, but I was up before she could finish.

Anthony ran straight to Bella and leapt up on the bed, wrapping his small arms around her.

"Mommy, I thought you were buying me presents?" Anthony asked in a tiny voice.

I looked up at Jasper and Rose. "The only thing I could think of," Jasper whispered to me.

I turned my attention back to Bella and the sight of her holding our son made me think about our current situation and how cruel life was. I knew Bella was putting on an act for all of us but I also thought that she hadn't really dealt with it yet. Usually Bella is the more sensitive one but right now it seemed like she had been avoiding the grieving process altogether.

Bella held Anthony in her arms, stroking his back. "I was baby, but you see I got sick and came here to get all better."

"Are you better now, mommy?"

She kissed his cheek. "I will be, now tell me what aunty Rose and uncle Jasper have been doing with you."

Anthony started to giggle. "Rosey got angry and started to get mad at Emmy and called him a selfish jackass."

I couldn't help but release a small laugh, hell; everyone broke down laughing including Bella. I think that was what we needed to break up all this tension in the room. Bella soon regained her composure and tried to scold Anthony for swearing.

I never left Bella's side for one moment, not even when I saw Alice and Emmett talking to Jasper and Rose in the corner, probably telling them the situation. Rose covered her mouth and Jasper turned completely white.

Now they know.

I then saw Dr. Pryce coming through the doors and walking over to Bella.

"Bella, you seem to look a lot better. How are you feeling?"

Bella was still playing with Anthony in her lap, ignoring the doctor's questions. I leant down to her so my mouth rested by her ear.

"Bella, the doctor's asking you a question," I whispered. She looked up from Anthony and quickly apologized to the doctor.

"It's no problem. So Bella how are you feeling? Any nausea or pain?"

Bella looked like she was debating something in her head; she bit on her lower lip and mumbled, "I'm fine."

I looked back at the doctor and I could see the doubt on her face. "Bella, this is not time to downplay your pain, is something wrong?"

"I'm fine," she repeated, emphasizing each word.

The doctor clicked her tongue in her mouth and wrote something down on Bella's charts. "Okay then, were going to prep you for surgery in one hour so you might want to prepare for it."

"Okay, thank you."

Bella then went back to tickling Anthony and while he was giggling and writhing in her arms Jasper came over to me.

"Can I talk to you for a sec, outside?" He asked quietly.

I was about to tell him no when Bella pushed me to go with Jasper. I followed him out into the hall and leant up against the wall right outside Bella's door.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

Jasper started to shift his position and put his hands into his pocket. "Edward, are you okay?"

A mixture of grief and anger washed over me. I mean, what sort of question was that, asking if I was okay? I was far from okay.

"No, I'm not."

"Edward, I don't know what you're going through but if you need to talk about anything just ask, okay."

I ran my hands through my hair roughly. "Yea, yea."

I went back into the room leaving Jasper alone outside; I knew I was an ass but all I wanted is to be with Bella. Everyone was huddle around her, asking her if she needed anything.

"Hey guys, I would like to talk to each of you individually, if that's okay?" Bella asked. I walked over to Bella's bedside and grabbed her hand. "That includes you too, Edward."

I shook my head. "No," I told her, not wanting to leave her side until the surgery. Bella moved one of her hands to my cheek and I kissed the palm of her hand.

"Edward, stop worrying about me and go and take Anthony to the cafeteria and get him some chocolate milk."

I tried to protest but I knew it was a battle that I would lose. I leant down and whisper into her ear, "I won't be gone for long and we need to talk alone before the surgery."

She kissed the side of my face. "Edward, I'm not going anywhere."

She leaned into my lips and brushed her soft skin against mine. Even thought the kiss was innocent, the passion and the heat were still there, and a part of me wanted her right now. I wanted to taste her mouth but before I could pry her lips open the coughs of Rose woke us both up.

"Can you two stop; I mean that's what got you guys in this position," Rose said.

I wanted to yell at her for bringing that up at a shit time but Bella rubbed the side of my face, soothing away any stress. She always had that control over me.

"Okay guys, everyone out except – wait who wants to go first?"

"I am," Rose said impatiently. Bella kissed the top of Anthony's head and whispered something into his ear.

"Okay, you heard the girl."

Bella's POV:

I really didn't want do this but thought it would be best to talk to everyone individually about the whole decision. I could tell that Rose was against the idea of terminating the pregnancy and I was kind of glad she was the first person to talk to, so I could explain what I was going through.

Rose was rather quiet when everyone left; both of us just stared at each other, frightened of what the other person was going to say.

"I know you're going to hate me," I said quietly.

Rose rushed over to me and grabbed me into a hug. "You are the strongest person I've ever met and what you had to decide was probably the hardest thing ever. I could never hate you… I just hate the situation and why it had to be you."

I expected water works to come out of me but nothing, still. What was wrong with me? Was I broken… dead inside?

"Thank you," I whispered into her shoulder. She grabbed my face and I lifted my hand to wipe the tears that were staining her cheeks.

"You're going to be fine Bella."

"I hope so too."

Rose and I decided that a change of topic would be best and started to talk about what to do with Anthony's room. For the briefest of moments I forgot about the pain I was hiding and buried it deep inside of me. After a few minutes Alice's constant banging ended the conversation with Rose.

"Rose, we're not done talking about what color Anthony's room is going to be."

She gave me a small smile and pecked the side of my cheek before walking out. Alice came bouncing in and sat on my bed. The conversation with Alice made me feel a lot better. Alice played with my hair and pretended everything was going to be okay.

Emmett was next; at first we were quiet and awkward but then it turned into him goofing off and me hysterically laughing.

After Emmett left then it was Jasper, and boy did I need him right now. Jasper didn't really say much but lay in bed next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he told me, his usually strong voice cracking at the end. I pulled him tighter and then it happened; the first tear slowly fell down my cheek, finally opening up the flooded gates. That was all that was said between us and we both stayed quiet and cried in each other's arms. It made me wonder why Jasper's words affected me so much, and what scared me more was how comforting his arms felt around me.

I heard the door opening and slamming shut. "What the hell is going on?" Edward yelled, his jealous rage coming out. I rolled my eyes not wanting to deal with this. I knew it looked bad; Jasper and I, but I needed my older brother right now.

"Edward, calm down."

Edward began pacing the room, averting his eyes from us and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I need some alone time with Edward right now, I'll talk to you after the surgery," I said to Jasper.

Jasper kissed the top of my head and left. I knew Edward was jealous of the relationship we had, and no matter how many times I tried to tell him it was nothing, he would always get in that mood; his overprotective, jealous mood.

I really didn't need this right now.

"What the fuck, Edward," I hissed at him. If I could get up and leave I would have, but I was stuck to this damn bed. Edward came over to me and dropped his head into my lap.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I don't know what came over me."

I took a deep breath; with all this stress going on I couldn't blame him. I brought my hands up to his hair and started to play with his gorgeous locks.

"I'm sorry too. Look we're both overly emotional so let's just drop it and enjoy this time that we have together."

Edward nodded into my lap and brought his hands to my stomach and started to drag his fingers along my lower abdomen. His touch was delicate.

"I wonder what it would've been."

I felt my heart racing, just thinking about the reality of this whole situation. "Let's not think about it," I told him. Edward's head lifted and he came face to face with me.

"We can't just act like it never existed."

"Edward, I don't want to think about it now, so please drop it."

Why would he do this to me now? I mean I was training my mind to think it was all a bad dream; I can't come to terms with this and make it real. Edward shook his head and started to cry again.

"You have to accept it, Bella."

"Edward, I said drop it," I repeated, emphasizing each word individually to make him get the point.

"I can't," he whispered.

"Well I can," I said. My voice seemed so cold.

Edward finally got the hint and we dropped the subject altogether. Finally the time came for me to go to surgery. Everyone had red eyes when they wished me luck. The doctor went over what was going to be done to me but I was paying no attention to it. All I could do was rub my stomach and soothe the pain away from my unborn child.

That was it – everything turned black.

One week later.

The room was completely dark and the TV was on some shit reality show that I was paying little to no attention to. I didn't even know what time it was, hell, I didn't even know what day it was. This is what I did all day; I sat and watched TV. I ignored everyone and slept most of the time, trying to escape my problems.

I knew I had some sort of depression but I just didn't want to think about it. I knew I had to snap out of this hell of a state I was in but I had no clue how to deal with everything. I was pushing the people I loved the most away, when I actually needed them more than anything now.

Edward barely even spoke to me now and I knew he hated me for terminating the pregnancy. I couldn't even face him and be met with his disapproving gaze. Everyday someone would come into the room and tried to cheer me up but I wouldn't budge. I just lay here and sleep. I hated myself for being so selfish and putting my own life in front of the child I was carrying.

So today I decided to get up and finally move around for a little bit. I needed to talk to Jasper about the feelings that I'd been holding in. I knew Edward didn't want to hear them and even if he did, I couldn't burden him. The thought of him leaving me was always persistent in the back of my mind. Our relationship was hurting from this and it killed me that I was the cause of it.

I felt all my muscles tightening when I opened the door and went out to the hallway. I started to stretch, trying to get all the kinks out of my joints when I heard laughter floating down the hall from the living room. I felt a pang of this overwhelming anger running through my body. How could everyone so easily forget about everything that had happened? I was about to let my rage get the better of me before I realized how selfish it all seemed, before I remembered that I deserved every bit of pain.

I walked up to Jasper and Alice's room and lightly knocked on the door. To my surprise Jasper was on the other side.

"So she finally decided to get her ass up." I couldn't read Jasper's tone, I didn't know if he was being serious or joking around. I rolled my eyes.

"Yea, yea. I actually needed someone to talk to," I said, sounding unsure to even myself.

He opened the door further and let me walk through it before shutting it closed behind him to give us privacy. We both went over to the bed and sat down on opposite sides; me grabbing a pillow and Jasper sitting tentatively with his hands in his lap.

"Bella, what are you doing?"Jasper grabbed the pillow that I was holding and tossed it to the side. "Hiding away from the world doesn't solve your problems, Bella," he said in a soft voice.

"Edward's – he's going to leave me… I know it," I blurted out. Jasper looked a little stunned by my comment but quickly regained his composure.

"What makes you say that?"

I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling."Because he can't look at me anymore and when he does, it's just the look in his eyes…it shows something else."

Jasper followed suit and lay on his back as well. "Maybe you're overanalyzing everything again Bella."

"How? I mean I'm a terrible mother and now I am terrible… I don't even know what to call Edward and me?"

I wanted to scream.

Jasper moved one of his hands to my shoulder then grabbed my chin to make me face him. "You are far from a terrible mother. You care so much for Anthony its crazy, but I do see that he does need his mother right now and what she is doing is wailing in self pity. We get it Bella, you're hurting, but so is everyone else. We know your pain runs deeper, but the further away you push us the worse the pain is going to get. Hiding away from your problems will only make the problem worse and eventually it will catch up to you."

"What about Edward, Jasper?"

"Edward's just going through the loss of his child. Give him some time. He loves you more than his own life and by pushing him away it will only bring you more pain and suffering." He smirked. "The both of you are trying so hard to prevent the other one from getting hurt that you're hurting yourselves in the process. You two deserve more happiness than anyone else in the world… just don't let yourself get in the way of that."

"What would I do without you?"

Jasper wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. "Be even more sad and depressing."

And then I laughed, which was the most refreshing feeling in the world.

"I gotta get my shit together," I whispered. I felt his head nodding into my shoulder.

"You will, it just takes some time."

I chewed on my lower lip. "Am I a bad person for what I did?"

"No."

We didn't say much after that. We occasionally said a few words but nothing really important; I guess I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the conversation I needed to have with Edward.

"I'm going to talk to Edward, now."

I got off from the bed and walked to the door, wanting to go back to my room to hide away, but I no longer had the strength to run from my problems.

"You'll be fine, Bella."

I nodded and left the room, heading back to my own room to make myself look at least half decent before I went and saw Edward. But when I got there Emmett was sitting on my bed.

"Hey Bella."

"Hi Emmett."

And cue awkward pause. I chewed on my lower lip awaiting the next thing he was going to say.

"I was just here to check up on you and then found the room empty."

I nodded and walked to the side of my bed and sat next to Emmett. "Thank you."

Emmett turned his head to face me and frowned. "For what?"

I kissed the side of his cheek. "For checking up on me and for being there."

A huge smile greeted me and Emmett's eyes brightened. "So the old Bella's back?" He asked with excitement in his voice.

"She went into hiding for a little bit but I think she's back."

Emmett grabbed me into a hug bear hug. "Thank God! This new Bella was sort of a drag."

I playfully slapped him on the back. "Yea, yea, I was a tad bit overdramatic."

"Just a bit."

I finally unwrapped myself from his oversized arms. "Do you know where Edward's at?"

"I can go and get him."

"Thanks."

Emmett got up from his seat and walked towards the door but before going out he turned his head and said, "I'm glad you're here Bella and you made the right choice." He took a deep breath. "You might hate yourself now but we love you…you will get your happiness that you so rightfully deserve. You're the most selfless person I've ever met and I love you for that."

Emmett left on that note and his and Jasper's words were hitting home for me. I didn't realize Edward came in until his hand was on my shoulder. I felt a spark of energy run through my body when he touched me and I felt my strong need for him all of a sudden.

"Bella?" He said, his voice broken, like he wasn't sure I'd answer. I looked up into his eyes and felt the cold emptiness in my heart being melted away.

"Hey you."

I sat up from my position and felt Edward's arms instantly wrapped around me. His head rested on my shoulder and then I did it, I broke down.

I cried for the baby we'd lost, the time that was taken away from me and Edward, but mostly for the thought of me losing him. This release was what I needed and I knew I would never get over the loss but I could slowly live with it.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered into my ear.

I kept on crying for what seemed like hours but he didn't mind; I think he knew I needed this. I was finally able to control myself and brought my face back up to Edward's.

Edward moved his hands to my face and rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. He then moved my long bangs from my face to behind my ear.

"No more apologies," I begged. "Let's just start fresh."

For my sanity and his.

Edward just merely nodded. "What do we do, Bella?"

I hadn't really thought of it until he said the words out loud.

"We go on living and let the past be the past. As long as I'm with you, I will be okay and that is what I need right now, more than anything else."

Edward lips press gently against my forehead and then moved down to the side of my face. Each kiss brought me out of the darkness I had let myself drown in.

"We're going to make it, Bella. We deserve it."

I let out a huge sigh of relief. "You're damn straight we do."

We both let out a small laugh while Edward rested his forehead against mine. "Let's forget about the last couple of days," he mumbled. I closed my eyes, inhaling his rich scent.

"Let's," I agreed. I felt him smiling as his lips touched my cheek and he pulled back ever so slightly. My eyes opened and I was greeted with a different set of eyes; the hungry eyes I hadn't seen in what seemed like months.

"You are utterly breathtaking," he breathed against my face.

Edward pressed his delicate lips to mine and at first it was light and sweet, the need soon overpowering the both of us as I pulled him on top of me. My body was craving his touch, begging for it, like I needed him as much as I needed something as basic as air.

"God, I want you so bad right now, Bella," he moaned into my mouth.

I pressed my body closer into his. "You have me for now and forever."

That must have sent him off because then the next thing I felt was my clothes being ripped off my body. He pressed me further up the bed and started to undress himself, slowly and sensationally. I felt myself growing wetter by his sheer attractiveness.

I wrapped my legs around his stomach and pulled him closer to me. Edward then took one of my legs and started to press small kisses all along my heated skin until he reached my pussy.

His head dove deep into my core and he began his ministrations, exploring every inch of me with his tongue as I tried to control my moans. Each time he tugged on my clit with his teeth or lips I would moan out his name, unable to quiet myself as I wrapped my fingers around locks of his hair. I pressed against his head and he complied willingly, delving deeper into me and thrusting two fingers inside me while his tongue assisted the orgasm that was building within me. I arched my back and felt the first wave of pleasure rocking through me, holding on so tightly to Edward's hair I was sure I'd be hurting him.

"Edward, I need you inside of me," I panted. He brought his head up and his lips went straight to my breasts, his teeth tugging hard on my nipple. My hands ran alongside his back, memorizing his glistening muscles.

"Edward, I want you so bad," I begged.

"I love it when you beg," he whispered. Edward bent his neck and rested his forehead against my shoulder, sliding his cock along my wetness before he guided himself inside me.

We both grunted with the sheer pleasure of our bodies meshing together and Edward soon picked up the pace, plunging harder and deeper inside of me.

We both let out loud moans when we reached out climaxes. Our bodies glistened with sweat and our breath became haggard. Edward's forehead lifted and he rested it on top of mine again, stilling himself inside of me after the effects of his orgasm had worn off.

"Now that's make up sex," Edward said between breaths.

"Wow," was all I could say.

Edward pulled himself out of me and moved to my side; his arms pulled me into the spooning position and his head rested on my right shoulder blade. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us speaking to each other but still wrapped up in each other arms.

"I love you," I said.

Edward kissed my cheek. "I love you more."

I let out a small giggle. I couldn't get over how happy I was at this exact moment. All the pain washed away and I was no longer living in the darkness, but was brought back to the light.

"Hopefully we weren't that loud," I said.

He laughed. "I doubt it, but luckily Alice and Rose took Anthony out shopping."

"Anthony is so spoiled."

Edward leaned closer into me. "I'm so glad you're back," he whispered into my ear.

I turned my head so I was facing him "So am I. Sorry it took that long to get here."

He kissed the tip of my nose. "I would have waited forever."

I did have one thing that lingered in the back of my mind. "I do have one thing to ask about the whole hospital thing."

"What?"

"Did our situation ever get leaked, you know, to the press?"

Edward pondered what he was going to say and then kissed my hairline. "Let's just say Rose and Alice knew how to keep the nursing staff quiet."

I couldn't help but break out into a fit of laughter and soon Edward followed. "Well thank god for that."

"You're mine, Bella, for now and forever."

I closed my eyes and pictured my life and how wonderful it was going to be.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

I opened my eyes and searched for his sparkling emerald ones. "Our lives and what's going to happen."

"We're going to make it," Edward reassured me.

I kissed his cheek and then his lips. "I know."

We both went back to our previous position; laying comfortably with his head resting on my shoudler.

"So um… are you… I mean…sex and um… protection?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, fully understanding what he meant but finding it hilarious that he was so nervous about what he was asking.

"Don't worry; the doctor put me on the pill for a bit, to let my body adjust. We don't need any more Eddie swimmers to get in there, well not for a while anyways."

I could tell Edward was smiling into my shoulder. "Who would've known that we were so fertile?" I shrugged. "We're going to have another one, I promise you," Edward whispered into my ear.

"I know… I know." I pressed myself more into him especially near his groin area.

"Want another round, Bella?"

I turned over to face him. "If you can handle it…Eddie."

With that we didn't leave the bed once until Alice and Rose came home with Anthony. Everything for once in my life seemed okay, and for the first time I was at peace with what I had gone through. I knew everything was going to be okay.

Let's just hope it stays that way.

A/N: That's it. I'm thinking about doing a sequel to this story, so review and tell me your opinion on that. So Review Please! Thank you everyone for sticking with me and reviewing, alerting, and everything else. It has been a long road and you guys stuck with me so thanks. Again thank you to my great Beta reader, AcrossTheSkyInStar.