AN: Okay, hi guys! I'm so extremely sorry for the late update, but in my defense I've been left alone to figure out how magical things like the washing machine and dishwasher work. That being said, I have managed to write a bit, but this installment is not spell checked by anyone but me so I apologize for any possible errors in spelling or whatever. Let me know if you find some and I'll try to fix them.

Anyhow, enjoy!

Cruel Reflections

All characters belong to Cassandra Clare

Chapter 21.

Alec's point of view

When he finally got the words out of his mouth he felt so extremely relieved. It was like a huge weight had been dropped off his shoulders, it was like the burning sensation in his mind was slowly beginning to numb, until it started all over again. He'd feared Magnus' reaction and had nearly stopped breathing for a while, feeling insecure and anxious. He'd poured his heart out to Magnus before, but he'd never feared his reactions before. It was like he'd grown too close to this beautiful man and couldn't even bare to think of what life would be without him. Now as he sat on Magnus' bed sipping on a glass of Brandy, he felt more pensive than ever. Magnus had simply kissed him. He hadn't run away or yelled at Alec or even told him to leave. He'd kissed Alec and made sure he knew that they were in this together. It was an overwhelming feeling, one that Alec couldn't quite pin point and one that made his insides turn…but in a good way?

"Darling," Magnus said gently settling his hand on Alec's knee. Alec snapped out of his thoughts and swallowed the alcohol he'd been mulling in his mouth. "You look stressed. I need you to relax."

"I know I should but I can't," Alec sighed and took another swig.

"Well with that pace the alcohol will be sure to take the edge off your anxiety," Magnus stated and squeezed Alec's knee.

"Oh," Alec gasped and blushed. "I don't really drink so I don't know what the acceptable pace is…"

"There is no acceptable pace, just go with the flow," Magnus said, smiling his sunniest smile. "I know I do."

"But I can't just go with the flow. I need a plan. I need something concrete. And so far the only suggestion I've heard is Jace's cross dressing plan and it's just plain rubbish," Alec whined. He felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time. The surreal feeling of safeness he felt now that he was with Magnus was sure to dissipate when he'd have to face reality. He was so confused he didn't even know how to act.

Jace lied on the floor in the middle of the room playing with the cat. The white ball of fur had seemed to take a liking to Jace, which Magnus frowned upon. Magnus sighed and let his body slump against Alec's. Alec looked up at him and smiled sadly. "I'm driving you nuts aren't I?"

Magnus huffed. "Hardly. It's that golden hurricane you brought along who is pissing me off. God damn cat stealer. And that cat! Huh, what a traitor." Magnus narrowed his eyes, making Alec laugh.

"He's not that bad," Alec said and leaned into Magnus.

"That's what you keep telling me," Magnus muttered and sipped on his drink, wrapping his free arm around Alec's torso. Even in the midst of all the problems and stress Alec had managed to steal glances at Magnus. He was still only wearing his boxers and a purple embroidered silk robe and Alec was pretty sure he was the most positively delicious thing he'd ever seen. He couldn't believe he was in Magnus' apartment, sitting on his bed with him and… Jace was there.

"So back to the crossdressing," Magnus declared. This made Jace look up and acknowledge the conversation.

"I think you should go as a brunette, you'd look stunning," Jace said and smirked wildly.

"And I think you'd be more useful as a rug, but what am I to do," Magnus said, smiling sarcastically.

"Guys," Alec sighed and eyed them both pleadingly. "I need you to concentrate."

"Yes, of course dear," Magnus said and spaced out for a bit. Few moments passed and Magnus already seemed to light up with an idea. "How about you tell your parents that this relationship with you and Maggie isn't going to work out? I'm sure your parents will drop the subject."

"Yeah," Alec said, feeling Magnus' hand rubbing the small of his back. "I could do that. But, then what about my sister?"

"Oh yes, the she devil in Prada," Jace chimed in. "If she knows she'll never let it go until you fess up."

"Jace is right," Alec said, feeling weary. "If Izzy knows it's just going to be one huge train wreck."

"I could scare her into keeping her mouth shut," Magnus suggested.

"Yeah because you're so scary with all your glitter and silk," Jace laughed and rolled his golden eyes.

"You don't know the half of it," Magnus muttered under his breath and continued his death glare.

"You two are killing me," Alec sighed. "Slowly but surely."

"I'm sorry honey," Magnus said and kissed Alec on the cheek. It felt good, relaxing to be more precise. He watched as Magnus got up and set his glass on the dresser. "I know you said telling the truth isn't an option, but honestly Alec, what is the worst thing that could happen if you did tell them the truth?"

Jace raised a curious eyebrow and stayed silent. Why didn't the Goddamn bastard speak when he was actually needed?

"Uh, I guess, like, I'm scared that they won't accept me," Alec said, his answer sounding more like a question than an answer.

"Right," Magnus said. "But they're your parents. Even if they'd be, I don't know freaked out for the lack of better words, they'd come to terms with it."

"You haven't met my parents. What people think of them is really important to them. They're viewed as the perfect couple in our neighborhood. If people find out that the Lightwoods have a gay son, they'll just have a picnic with it. How could I do that to my parents? And besides they won't accept me, I just know it. I mean they act all accepting and everything, but I know how they really feel."

"How can you know how they really feel? Can you read their minds?" Magnus asked, sounding a bit irritated. Alec didn't understand why Magnus was questioning him. He was supposed to help, not interrogate.

"Because I do," Alec said plainly.

"But can you know for sure?" Magnus asked again, his green eyes careful to pick up any hesitation.

"Well…" Alec began. "I- I- I don't fucking know, okay."

"Okay," Magnus said and raised his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying, you could give them the benefit of doubt."

Alec shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was to argue with Magnus. Magnus was his safe place. He didn't want to ruin that. He blinked rapidly as he felt tears stubbornly brim in his eyes. He tried to will them away, but didn't manage to do so. So all he could do was blink. He looked down at his shoes, letting the anxiety and worry take over all the other feelings bubbling inside of him. The bubble burst, just like he'd predicted. As the first tear ran down his cheek, he wanted to crawl under the covers of Magnus' bed and hide there until all his problems had disappeared. Unfortunately life didn't work that way.

"Way to go," Jace huffed and got up from the floor. "Now you've made him cry," He said dryly to Magnus.

Alec could hear Magnus making his way to him and even pushing Jace out of the way. He sat on his knees on the floor in front of Alec and once again placed his hands on Alec's knees. "Look at me Alec." His voice sounded softer and the slight tint of annoyance from before had now completely disappeared.

Alec refused to look up at Magnus and stubbornly stared at his own jeans.

"Alec please? I didn't mean to upset you," Magnus tried again. Alec felt his body respond to Magnus' soft voice. He wanted to do as Magnus asked. He wanted to look into those emerald green eyes he knew were waiting for him. He blinked rapidly again, trying to hold in all the hurt he'd ever experienced that went far beyond Magnus' reach. He knew he was hardly being rational. Everything he was feeling right now was irrational. It was like his body couldn't decipher what his brain was telling him to do so it just decided to open the floodgates for the lack of a better reaction.

"He's stubborn as a mule and sweet talking won't help," Jace stated.

"Jesus, Jace!" Magnus exclaimed, making Alec shudder. "I'm banishing you downstairs. And take that traitor of a cat with you and go feed it or something."

Jace just stared at Magnus wide eyed and agreed without a word. He picked up the Chairman and trotted down the stairs. Alec watched his best friend disappear while mumbling to a loudly purring cat. He bit his lip and raised his chin to look up as Magnus had requested.

"There we are," Magnus said soothingly. "I missed those pretty eyes of yours." Magnus stroked Alec's cheek and pushed the stands of flailing hair away from his eyes.

"Before you ask, I don't know why I'm crying," Alec stated. As stupid as it sounded it was the truth.

"I'm sorry for pushing you," Magnus said and looked at Alec.

"Why can't you just understand that I know my parents better than anyone and I know that they won't be happy with me being gay?" Alec asked quietly. He placed his hands in his lap and continued to nibble on his bottom lip. He was beginning to taste blood in his mouth and even though he wanted to stop, he always seemed to slip back to the habit.

"I do understand that, to a certain degree," Magnus said nodding. "But, Alec, can you imagine how much easier your life would be? No more hiding, no more being scared of getting caught. It's not your job to live as your parents trophy, you are your own person and you deserve to be exactly who you are, not who your parents want you to be."

"It sounds easier said than done," Alec sighed and grimaced as another tear rolled down his chin. Magnus caught it with his thumb and wiped it off smiling gently.

"I know it sounds difficult, but they are your parents, and you know they love you."

"Would they?" Alec asked, feeling blank. That was the question wasn't it? Would they still love him?

"Of course they would," Magnus said encouragingly. "From what you've told me your parents are a bit…well…conservative, but every parent in their right mind loves their child. That doesn't just go away because said child happens to like Ken better than Barbie."

Alec thought about Magnus' words for a second. As drastic as his fears were, he couldn't imagine Maryse ever abandoning him. She was his mom and always tried to be the best mother she could. There had never really been a time when Alec hadn't trusted his mother. Now that he thought about it he was sure his mother had never even been mean to him. Then again he had been a nearly perfect child. He hardly ever got into trouble or talked back. But Robert, he was a different story. He had always seemed distant and unpredictable. He was always there, but even after eighteen years of living with him Alec couldn't predict his reactions.

"Yeah, maybe," Alec finally agreed. "What did your parents do when you told them, or did they always know?"

Alec noticed Magnus flinch at the question. He then remembered that Magnus' family was rarely discussed, because it seemed to be a touchy subject.

"I'm sorry. I forgot you don't like talking about your parents."

"No, no it's okay," Magnus said blundering with his words. "Um…I don't know if they knew. I suppose I was a no brainer in that department though, but I don't know for sure. And um…my parents they never got to know for sure either. They passed away before I could ever tell them."

Alec just stared in awe. He had never even thought that Magnus' parents could be dead. He'd always assumed that they just weren't in touch anymore. "I'm so sorry," Alec mumbled, because that's what he'd been taught to say when someone died.

Magnus just smiled, "I'm sure my mother would have been fine with it though. Mothers tend to be more sensible with these things. At least mine was."

"Oh," Alec said. "What was her name?"

"Diane," Magnus said, the word permanently pasting a loving smile on his lips.

"That's a pretty name."

"She was a pretty woman," Magnus replied. "She had my dark hair and green eyes. I get my complexion from my dad's side of the family."

"What was your dad like?"

"My dad…he was more like a father than a dad, if that makes any sense to you."

"It does, crystal clear," Alec laughed.

"Well he was a business man. He owned shares in multiple companies and ran his own PR Company. It's pretty funny now in hindsight. He managed to make everyone else look good no matter what, but he sucked at covering up his own problems. Everyone knew he had a drinking problem, no matter how anonymous AA is. Had he not been so good at what he did for a living he'd of been the laughing stock of our entire community."

"That sounds terrible," Alec stated. He didn't really know what to say. He was so used to Magnus not talking about his family that he hadn't prepared with proper responses.

"It was as terrible as it gets," Magnus said. "The man ruined our family."

"Oh," Alec gasped. He felt a bit awkward, not quite knowing what to say. He wanted to comfort Magnus, but was Magnus looking for comfort? What if he said the wrong thing?

"Well, there's no use dwelling in the past," Magnus said, cheering his tone up. "I just want you to know where I'm coming from. Why I want you to give your parents a chance. Besides if they can't accept you for who you are, are they really worth keeping around?"

"I guess you have a point. How about I think about it?" Alec asked, hoping for some sort of agreement.

"That's all I would ever ask for," Magnus said and placed a gentle kiss on Alec's lips. And just like that the conversation was sealed and done with.

"So um, not to sound rude or anything, but Jace and I better start heading back home. It's getting super dark and with the storm…"

"And with the storm coming there is no way in hell I'm letting you on the road in the middle of the night. You two are sleeping over. I'll take no objections." With that Magnus got up and started rummaging through his closet, which was about the size of a small bedroom for all Alec could tell. He emerged with two mattresses bundled up and some sheets. "You can either sleep on these or the couch. And…if you insist I can even sleep on the couch and you can share the bed with Jace."

"I…don't think that's a good idea," Alec laughed amused. "It would be awkward."

Magnus gave Alec a curious look and etched his eyebrows.

"I had a crush on Jace and Jace is painfully aware of that," Alec clarified and smiled shyly.

"Oh, I didn't think you were into blonds." Was all Magnus said as he continued to make the beds on the floor. Alec laced his fingers and watched Magnus work. He looked so cozy and warm. A part of him wanted to ask Magnus if he could just share the bed with him, but the other part, the bigger part was too embarrassed to ask. He just wanted to know what it felt like to fall asleep next to Magnus. He just wanted to know what it was like waking up to him. But he didn't want to give Magnus the wrong idea and get caught in something he wasn't prepared for.

"You look thoughtful," Magnus stated and slumped down on his plush armchair.

"I do?"

"You most definitely do. What's on your mind?"

"I was just…um wondering if maybe we could share the bed," Alec said quietly. As he saw a surprised look appear on Magnus' face he tried to explain but ended up babbling. "I just…you know…so that one of us doesn't have to sleep on the couch…I was being totally innocent….I swear, I meant nothing by it…I just."

"You didn't mean anything by it?" Magnus asked with a joking voice. His lips were quirked up and his eyes were ablaze with laughter.

"N-no."

"What a shame," Magnus sighed playfully and walked over to Alec. He pressed his hands on his jaw and bit his lip in the most seductive way Alec had ever seen anyone bite their lip. "And I thought we could have cuddled all night long, but I guess it'd be best if we keep it innocent…you know since Jace is here and all that jazz."

"Oh," Alec gasped once again, feeling disappointment settle in. He did want to cuddle God damn it he did.

"Unless," Magnus began.

"Yes," Alec asked excitedly.

"Unless we just let Jace suffer."

"That sounds tempting," Alec said, mesmerized by Magnus' words.

"He looks like he deserves to suffer a bit. I bet he's never felt like the third wheel before."

"No, Jace has never…yeah he always makes out with Clary…Maybe we could cuddle? Only if you want to?"

"If you can't see I want to, you're clueless."

"Oh," Alec gasped again, feeling like the word was becoming his favorite.

AN: Alrighty, a lot going on here. Lots of feelings to go around. Let me know what you thought about Magnus' opening up and Alec's reaction. Just let me know what you thought of this chapter overall because it was a hard one for me to write. You'd make me super duper happy if you reviewed, so thanks in advance,

Love Always, Alexandra!