Chapter Twenty

Kam stared dully at the text on the console terminal screen. He had slept badly the night before and his morning wanderings had led him to the offices of Imperial Intelligence. They had jumped at having a Dark Side Elite approve of their report before sending it on, especially the one who was embedded with the Jedi and the punished Hand as a spy. He sipped on his cup of caf and focused. He skimmed over their justifications of the conclusion. They were seventy-percent certain that the Solo twins had been sent to the safety of the New Alderaan colony. He suspected a reason for giving him this information was the hope that Skywalker had slipped a clue as to what the family planned to do to protect the children. Or that he could use the details to demoralize the enemy. He didn't bother to correct these mis-comprehensions; they kept him in the loop.

Not to mention that he was at a lost as to what would demoralize Skywalker. Yesterday, he would have guessed it was endangering the Emperor's Hand. But that was shattered when Skywalker revealed his desire to defy Darth Sidious for the sake of others, for the sake of family.

Kam shook his head. His sleepless night had been wasted wishing that the Hand hadn't restrained Skywalker. Why did the Jedi inspire this? Why did this collection of people calling themselves a family draw his attention so strongly? He closed his eyes with a sigh. He opened them again and the office and the terminal had vanished, replaced by a man kneeling in front of him, and he felt the weight of the man's hands on his shoulders. The face Kam stared into bore a striking resemblance to the one that he saw in the mirror every morning only with darker hair. He squeezed Kam's shoulders. "Family is more important than the Jedi Council believes. Loving you has made me a better Jedi."

He jerked and the terminal chair rocked. The office returned. An Intelligence Analyst who had supplied the report for review stepped closer. "Is everything all right, Elite Solusar?"

"I… yes, I'm fine." He gestured at the report. "The likelihood of finding the Solo twins is quite low."

"The Farseers have not confirmed our analysis. They haven't been able to pinpoint the parents' location since they left the Rebellion's new base on Da Soocha."

That was unexpected. The Farseers had no issues with pinpointing the location of the Emperor's Hand and Jedi Skywalker so the Eclipse could intercept them. By all reports, Leia Organa Solo was less trained than her brother. How was she accomplishing this disappearance?

He remembered the child Korora cowering last night. She didn't deserve the fear piled onto her. And they wanted to capture two infants and subject them to the Citadel. But he could delay that outcome, for a little while. "Tatooine," he murmured.

"Sir?"

Kam straightened his shoulders as he looked up at the analyst. "Our opponents are not amateurs. Organa Solo lied to Tarkin's face gambling the lives of Alderaan. She'd know New Alderaan and Corellia would be targets for a search for her children."

"But Tatooine has a family connection too. Her brother the Jedi was raised there."

"And his father was born there as well. It is worth the risk to make sure her children become Jedi to rival the Emperor Reborn."

The analyst frowned. "How does sending them to Tatooine ensures they become Jedi? That doesn't make sense."

"There are conflicting reports on how Jedi Skywalker made himself a Jedi. Darth Vader killed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi on the Death Star, so it's possible he had been training Skywalker from birth in the old ways. But then there are reports in Skywalker's file that indicate his lack of Jedi skills in the battles between Yavin and Endor. But right before that he emerged on Tatooine and destroyed Jabba the Hutt's criminal empire there." Kam twisted his expression into concentration then relaxed. "That's what the vision meant. There is something about Tatooine, maybe a nexus, that hones Jedi. Organa Solo would send her children to that something for their protection."

"You had a vision."

"Of an endless desert under two suns."

The analyst nodded. "That sounds like Tatooine. I'll add it to the orders before the retrieval team is sent out."

"Glad to be of service to the Empire." Kam left the office and headed to the residential section of the Citadel.

The door of the Hand's room slid open. The Force dampeners had been activated again, but Kam focused past the mental buzzing. The couple on the bed did not pull away from their nestled but fully clothed embrace. Korora lay on the seat of one of the armchairs and held a datapad over her face. The astromech droid wasn't parked at the console in the corner. The child turned her head and spied his entry. "Hello, Master Solusar."

"Come in," the Hand said. "Make yourself comfortable."

Kam headed to the dining table which let him see that the Hand was studying her own datapad as she lay on her side facing the window. Skywalker's arm draped over her so he could press his hand on her distended stomach. The astromech was connected by a link arm to the medical assistant droid. But Skywalker spoke before Kam could ask what was going on. "I honestly can't tell if this is working or not. The most I did on the twins was sense them, checked their growth progress. When Leia let me."

"Heartbeat is stable according to the sensors." Skywalker lifted up on his elbow and leg to look over the woman's shoulder at the datapad. "That may be the best we get right now," she added.

"What are you doing?" Kam asked.

Skywalker scooted to the edge of the bed. "Putting the fetus in a healing trance. We're hoping that will help the pregnancy last longer."

"Is that what you need to do to heal my memories?"

Kam couldn't decide what Skywalker was thinking by the man's expression. "Healing trances work best for physical injuries or foreign chemicals inside the body. You aren't suffering from either of those. I would use affect mind backwards to restore what your mind has been forced to forget."

"You've done that before?" Jade asked.

"Yes, though the circumstances were slightly different. Eppie Belden had some Force sensitivity and her dementia had been parasitically induced, so a healing trance was necessary to clear the scars. I guided her through the worse of it and she finished up on her own. Ended up spearheading Bakura's revolution when she woke up."

"And how do I know you aren't just implanting things to change me?" Kam found his fists were pressing against his thighs.

"Madame Belden was a rebel before the Imperials got a hold of her. But it's all a matter of trust. Who do you trust, Kam Solusar? You are not my enemy and I have no reason to hurt you, but I will hurt you by bringing forward memories you are repressing. The truth always hurts before it sets you free."

"You sound so sure of that."

Skywalker's right hand squeezed into a fist as his face twitched with remembered pain. "Lived experience," he said as he sighed away the emotion. "It's your choice, Kam. I won't force anything on you." He swung his legs off the bed and went to the conservator.

The Jedi asks him who he trusts; Kam was tempted to howl over that. Skywalker walked around Kam, ignoring his inner turmoil. The child disregarded them all as she flopped in the armchair and concentrated on her datapad. The Hand's gaze met his, but her inscrutable green eyes didn't answer his agitation.

All the training drilled into him screamed 'trust no one,' especially not their enemy the Jedi. But their enemy was the only one to catch Kam in a moment of weakness and didn't attack him for it.

And the man who kept haunting him. He needed to know who he was, why a Jedi returned to him in visions over and over again. He rubbed his hands against his trousers. Skywalker wouldn't use his visions against him; it was laughable to contemplate Darth Sidious or Sedriss giving him the same courtesy. "I want…." His mouth was so dry, but this felt right. Like it had felt when he took the Dark Side artifact away from here and tossed it from the Citadel, like it had felt when he confused the kidnapping mission. "I want what I have forgotten. Do you need any equipment?"

Skywalker was handing the Hand a water bulb when he jerked his head to look at Kam. He smiled with a dip of his head. "No equipment, but the armchairs will be more comfortable. Korora, you'll have to move."

Korora groaned. "I'm not done yet."

"Pause it and come lay on the bed with me," her mother said. "What Daddy has to do is important."

The Hand really didn't have a problem with the adoption, Kam noted to himself as Skywalker scooped the child up and made her laugh before depositing her on the bed. The Jedi then moved both armchairs as close to the window as they could get. Kam frowned over that until he got closer and felt the buzzing of the Force dampeners decrease. He sat gingerly in one before lowering the mental shields that kept him safe from everyone else in the Citadel.

Skywalker's presence in the Force burned. Kam basked in it like a plant that had never felt natural sunlight would do. Familiar and dangerous and necessary and unassailable. Following Skywalker's instructions into meditation and feeling the Force surround them, it was like the Jedi Artifacts room but magnified.

"Your mind will construct a place, some call it a mind palace," Skywalker said. "It's a visual way to access all your memories even the ones that have been locked away from you. It will take the shape of sanctuary."

The plain they walked on took the shape of an orderly garden planted in the ground framed by the paths running through it, forming squares of green. Ahead of them a long building two stories high at the left end and three stories high at the right end rose toward the bright blue sky. They moved closer and the carved details stood out: delicate religious statues, tall towers, and filigreed arches carved from stone. Kam frowned at it. "I don't…. This must be a place from your life."

Skywalker shook his head. "My mind palace looks like my uncle's homestead on Tatooine only with more rooms than we ever had. We will find answers there."

Another figure fidgeted on the steps leading to a wooden door set in a carved arch. A painfully thin boy with white-blond hair tugged on a rope hanging against the wall. The gong inside echoed faintly through the stone. The jumpsuit he wore had threadbare spots at the elbows and knees. He turned to look back at the garden with haunted brown eyes, but obviously didn't see Kam or Skywalker. The door was opened by a tall Caamasi wearing a rough-woven brown robe. The teenage boy curled his hands into fists at his sides. "They said at the spaceport you could help me." He swallowed hard. "I don't have enough credits to leave, but I can work. I just can't—" his throat convulsed again. "I have to stay far away from Vader. You know who Vader is, right?"

"Come in, child. The Empire has not troubled themselves with us." The Caamasi ushered the boy inside.

"Brother Di'Kla," Kam whispered. "How did I forget him? The Jeronimos, they took care of me, raised me for thirteen years."

"To answer that we must go further in."

Kam swallowed much like his younger version had and stepped into the shadowed doorway. The expected grand hallway held up with arches and pillars did not appear, but instead they stepped into a claustrophobic metal Imperial cell. He was strapped to a tilted table and a black spherical droid floated in front of him touching him with a sparking prod. Kam remembered the straps digging into his skin and muscles. His throat dried from screaming and an ache radiated from his neck. Sedriss stood in the corner, grinning at the writhing. This he remember, this would be his reward if he ever disobeyed.

Skywalker's hand squeezed his shoulder. "Concentrate. It's in the past now."

Kam nodded and the sensations faded away to dull aches. The cell door opened before them and they stepped into the monastery's courtyard. Neat graveled paths quartered the square space surrounded by a passageway of arches and an upper level balcony the arches supported. Figures moved under the first arch on the right, so Kam and Skywalker approached the opening.

It was the crew quarters on a spaceship. A woman lay in the bunk and the inset lights highlighted her emaciated form. Her white-blonde hair looked brittle against the protected pillow. "Jeza Hesas," Kam said.

The younger Kam who hadn't yet had the growth spurt to match the one outside the monastery slammed a medkit closed. "I don't know what to do. Dad could heal you, but I can't, Mom. I don't know what to do!" His voice cracked and his ragged breathing revealed his tears.

"Mother," Kam whispered.

Jeza gripped her son's hand. "I will never be gone as long as you remember me. Someday, your teacher will come, so you must keep your heart and mind open for wisdom."

The younger Kam inhaled raggedly. "I will."

Jeza's labored breathing matched her son's but her face seemed lit by an inner fire. "You will help change the galaxy, I know it."

"She died not long after this." Kam managed to explain past the stone lodged in his throat and the tears streaming down his cheeks. "I sold the ship; I couldn't fly it alone. The credits kept me moving."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Kam," Luke said softly. "She spoke the truth and now you have her back."

"They didn't need to take her."

"No." A shadow crossed the younger man's face. "But the Empire is very good at taking."

"What did they take from you?"

"My father, probably my mother too, my aunt and uncle who raised me, my best friend from childhood—" He broke off with a head shake. "This is not a comparison. Nearly everyone in the galaxy has a list or they're composing one right now."

"Of course." Kam turned to the next arch wondering if his mother was also right about his teacher.

This arch had them back in the Imperial cell, though without the interrogation droid's presence. Four years ago, the torture only happened four years ago, and it was so bad he had joined Darth Sidious' forces just to make it stop. Twenty-eight-year-old Kam was strapped to the slanted table. Sedriss entered the cell, walking with a bounce to his step that sent his spiky black hair quivering. "Comfy in those restraints?" The prisoner didn't respond, didn't even turn his head to look clearly at Sedriss. "Darth Sidious thought you'd like to see this again." The Dark Side Elite held a dulled-silver lightsaber hilt with a brown leather hand-grip in front of the restrained Kam's face.

Kam recognized the lightsaber he was always drawn toward in the Jedi Artifacts room about the same time as the prisoner Kam's face frowned and shifted to look at Sedriss.

"Don't bother with any cute ideas; the power cell is disconnected." Sedriss set the hilt into the prisoner's hand.

The cell vanished to show the rain-soaked street Kam saw constantly. Lightning flashed behind the black armored and caped figure illuminating him for a moment. His opponent was dressed in sodden trousers and tunic and brought up the amber beam of light to block the blow from the red. Vader was relentless in his swings and soon objects surrounding the two combatants lifted off the ground and hurled to the man with the amber lightsaber. He thrust out his free hand and the trash bin aiming for his head was shoved away. He cut the broken-off part from a street light in half with his lightsaber. But he couldn't keep up with the barrage of items and the swings of the red lightsaber. He fell back on the rain-slicked surface of the street. Vader brought the his saber down.

The vision ended returning their view of the cell. Kam found his cheeks wet again, but it was nothing compared to the sobs prisoner Kam made. The lightsaber hilt slipped from his bound hand, rolled off the slanted table, and hit the metal floor with a clang.

That still didn't explain who the man was and why his death hurt so much. He moved to the next arch with frustration a thing to gnaw on in his mouth. He and Luke stood outside a light freighter's entry ramp, the same freighter Kam sold after his mother died. The man dressed in the same tunic and trousers he would die in, knelt in front of a boy on the ramp. The boy was about nine or ten, his mother's white-blond hair cropped short on his head and his father's brown eyes narrowed and angry. The man had the same brown eyes, only his were filled with a sad purpose.

Kam nearly fell back with a jolt as the final pieces slotted into place. "Ranik was my father."

Ranik's hands engulfed the boy Kam's shoulders. "Leaving you and your mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. But a Jedi defends and protects. This is what I must do to protect you and your mother."

"But you're not a Jedi; they kicked you out!" the boy Kam nearly shouted. "And now they're all dead," he added sorrowfully.

"And does that make the Empire right?" Ranik asked.

"No, but the Jedi weren't right either!"

"The Jedi lost their way. Family is more important that the Jedi Council believed. The future is always in motion, but you, Kam, have a role in changing the Jedi. Be brave and strong for your mother, trust the Force, and always remember that my loving you has made me a better Jedi." Ranik embraced his son, and Kam remember that hug. He sobbed and turned away, closing his eyes against the fluctuating structures across the courtyard.

His inhale shuddered and Kam blinked to clear his eyes of the tears. The monastery was gone; he was back in the Hand's room. Luke's hand withdrew from his after a final squeeze. "My father was Ranik Solusar. He left the Jedi Order to marry my mother Jeza Hesas. I came along later."

"I am sorry for your loss." Luke tried to pull back his wave of guilty sorrow.

He didn't understand what the Jedi had to feel guilty for and it didn't matter compared to his own shame. "At least they died before they could see what became of me."

"Go get them some water," the Hand told Korora. The little girl slid off the bed and headed to the conservator. Jade looked back at the two men. "So it worked?"

Kam rubbed his face and blinked back tears. "I remember my parents, my life before this hellish planet."

"Count yourself lucky to have some details." Her voice was gruff, but Kam sensed it was not meant unkindly.

"The Empire got him when he was an adult," Luke said with sorrow still etched onto his face. "Different from your circumstances."

Jade shifted closer to the edge of the bed. "Is that why you're upset, Farmboy?"

Luke shook his head. "It's not important."

"If I were as upset as you are, you wouldn't drop it."

"He saw my father kill his. I saw what he remembered. Does that satisfy you?"

"Yes, but I want to give you a hug now."

Luke reached over the cot and clasped her outstretched hand. Korora handed Kam a water bulb and then squeezed between Luke's legs before handing him one also. Kam guzzled the cool water gratefully while Korora clambered onto Luke's lap. "Darth Vader was your father?" Kam asked.

"He was Anakin Skywalker before he fell, and he turned back to Anakin Skywalker before the end. You haven't traveled nearly as far as he did down the dark path." Luke cuddled the child and kissed her temple.

Kam's gaze dropped to the floor. "But I still fell."

"You think you're the only one Palpatine ripped from their family and forced to do evil in his name?" Jade's green eyes flashed.

"You thought you were serving good because he brainwashed you," Luke said to Jade as he reached for her hand again.

"And the monsters I killed were hurting people and were guilty of crimes under everyone's laws. None of that changes the fact that I helped a monster worse than they were. You have to acknowledge your mistakes; learn from them; then pick up, move on, and make the right choice from now on."

Kam stared at the woman, who had bargained for Luke and her daughter's lives. Even he could feel the righteousness in her decision and where her loyalties now lay. "How can we stop them? We're outnumbered."

She blinked before curving her lips into a nasty smile that made Kam gulp. "Bring us the complete plans for the Citadel and security access for everything locked away from us. I'd have it already if I was at my usual mobility. I hate being stuck in this bed."

"How will that help?"

Luke finished his water bulb. "Mara's suffering from a lack of information."

"When the situation calls for your skill set, you can take the lead."

Kam considered the request. "I should be able to pull up that information without setting off any alarms. Most of the personnel are concerned with finding the Solo twins and the next offensive against the Reb—New Republic." He looked at Luke. "The Adepts most gifted at Farseeing can't locate the children nor your sister. I told them to check Tatooine."

Luke smiled. "You're already making better choices."

Jade's ferocious pleasure eased into thoughtfulness. "But they have seen where the New Republic escaped to?"

"Imperial Intelligence has the hierarchy on Da Soocha, but confirmed Minister Organa Solo nor her husband are there now."

"Interesting," Luke murmured.

"So there is confirmation they're alive?" Jade pressed.

"Yes. Do you know how she's hiding in the Force?"

"I wonder how she's doing it too." Luke's puzzled expression cleared. "I hope we don't have to wait too long before we find out."

Kam shook his head as he rose. They had no reason to trust him with their theories, not until he proved himself. "I'll go get the security clearance now." He felt lighter inside than he remembered ever feeling before as he raised his mental shields against the pain of Byss. He was rebel scum now and felt so free. He passed the pair of Imperial Sovereign Protectors and neither of them reacted to his changes. Good, let them remain unaware. He'd prove himself to Skywalker and Jade, and he'd continue making the choices that thwarted Darth Sidious' plans.

Author's Note: I tweaked Luke's healing of Eppie Belden in the Truce at Bakura to better support what Luke wants to do with Kam. I adore Eppie and wished the feisty old lady had a few more Legends adventures.

The Jeronimos — I never planned on going into too much detail of the monastery religious order that protected and raised Kam for thirteen years. They aren't Force users and the welcome any and all sentients species and live so far into the Outer Rim they could give Tatooine some competition for the furtherest from the bright center of the universe. I based their buildings on pictures of the Mosteiro dos Jerónimos in Lisbon, Portugal so I named the group after the place. Forgive any mistakes in my crude photo manipulation. I've had to switch to GIMP from my old program and the learning curve is steep. Oh if you're reading this version, the images are on the AO3 version and The BookWorm's Library version.