Chapter 21: Hunger

Kayla sighed loudly through her nose as she kept her eyes on the road.

"You want to switch?" Ben asked from the passenger seat.

"No. We're almost at the state border."

"It's okay to switch if you're tired."

"I'm fine, Ben. I just want to get past the border before switching." The group had made the decision to head North towards colder weather and potentially less zombies. For the past few weeks they had made their way through the rest of California and through Oregon. With the extensive travel, it became more and more difficult for the couples to be intimate (particularly Ben and Kayla). The real reason why Kayla refused to give up the wheel was because she was trying to avoid the backseat of the car as much as possible. She knew Ben was getting sexually frustrated, and she was too, but she wasn't comfortable having sex in the back of a car with two of her best friends in the front seats. She glanced in her rearview mirror at Cameron and David, who were both fast asleep, sighing again. She knew they had snuck off into woods a few times, but Ben had been a little reluctant. He probably won't be reluctant for much longer. A sign on the side of the road caught her attention. Welcome to Washington: The Evergreen State.

"You want to switch now?"

"Ben, I'm fine," she chuckled, "Jeez, are you on something? You're quite antsy."

"Testosterone," he smirked.

"Wow, why did I even ask?" Ben leaned over the console and kissed her cheek.

"You want to try and sneak off tonight?" he whispered. Kayla smiled and pecked his lips, quickly returning her attention to the road.

"Maybe. Depends on how cold it is."

"We could always try the backseat."

"Not if those two are in here."

"Deal," Ben kissed her again and returned to his seat.

"How far do you think Seattle is?"

"That's miles and miles away, Kayla. We still have quite a drive before we even reach the outskirts. I think we should avoid the major cities though."

"Agreed." David stirred and opened his eyes.

"Where are we now?" he mumbled groggily.

"We just crossed the state border," Ben answered, "If we followed the map correctly, we should be somewhere between White Salmon and Goldendale. Probably closer to White Salmon though."

"You sure know your Washington cities."

"I grew up here."

"You did?" Kayla asked.

"Not here in this town specifically, but here in the state yes."

"What brought you down to dry, boring California?"

Ben shrugged, "I wanted a change of pace. A new setting. Not to mention I wasn't getting along with my father too well at the time, so my mom and I decided it was best that I get away for a while."

"Then this happened…."Kayla felt her stomach sink as guilt overtook her.

"Then this happened," he repeated. Kayla put on her emergency lights and pulled over to the side of the road, signaling a bathroom break for the boys.

"Cam, wake up," David shook his boyfriend, "Pee break."

"About time," he grumbled, "I've had to pee for hours." They all got out and began to head towards the side of the road, being careful not to venture out too far into the trees. Kayla moved around to the front of the car and sat on the hood with her hands in her pockets.

"You coming?" Ben asked. She shook her head. Sensing something was wrong, Ben walked over to her and lowered himself to her eye level.

"Hey," he said quietly, tilting her chin up, "Don't worry about it, Kayla. I got you." She smiled a little and he kissed her.

"I still feel bad." Ben smiled softly and pulled her into a hug, forcing her to stand up.

"I'm alright, babe. I miss my mom and my grandparents, but you help me get through it." Kayla took a deep breath and kissed his neck.

"I love you," she said into his jacket.

"I love you, too," he mumbled into her hair, "I hate to ruin the moment, but I really have to pee so I'm going to let you go now." She laughed and let go of him.

"How long do you think we're going to be travelling for?" Tim asked.

"Hard to say," Will replied from the driver's seat, "I don't want to be travelling for much longer though."

"I feel that," Brendon shifted in his seat in the middle, "We all stink. Do you think we'll find a place with running water?"

"That's….not really the point I was getting at," Will looked at him in the rearview mirror, "I'm talking about when the spring comes."

"We've been moving north to avoid the zombies. You know that," Adam protested, "They're slower in the cold weather. There's still fucking snow on the ground here for Christ's sake!"

"Yeah, Adam, I get that," Will replied sharply, "but the snow has to melt at some point. Winter doesn't last forever. It will get warmer in a matter of weeks."

"In the meantime," Brad shifted in his seat and wrapped his jacket around him tighter, "I hope we stop somewhere where we can get warmer clothes. I'm freezing my ass off." Seeing as he wasn't really getting through to them, Will sighed and shook his head.

Luckily for Brad his wish came true. Prichard's car, who had been leading the small caravan for a while now, pulled off the road towards a strip mall. One of the stores was a sporting goods store that had a winter clearance sale advertised in the window.

"Let's hope it isn't liquidated," Steven said, smirking at his own joke. Alan looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"Alright everyone, let's huddle up for a second!" Prichard commanded. The group of adolescents and young adults packed themselves tightly together, a desperate attempt to keep out the cold.

"I know we're all tired, and I know we're all freezing," he began, "so we're going to clear the store and we'll rest here for the night. Now, I think we have a few guidelines for what jackets to get." Some of the boys groaned as Prichard looked towards Kayla to continue.

"Uh," she was a little shocked he turned the attention to her, "Well, uh-"

"Don't pick up poufy ski jackets," Ben interrupted, "Yeah, they're warm, but a walker can bite through the material no problem. If you can find it, get a jacket with super durable material and a thick lining. If you can't find that, grab fleece sweatshirts and vests and then try to find leather or denim jackets. Because this is a sporting goods store it's probably easier to do the former than the latter."

"What?" Brad asked.

"That means it's easier to find the first item than the second," Kayla explained.

"Oh."

"If needed," Ben continued, "we can raid the other stores around here, or we can duct tape some magazines and newspapers in the bite prone areas. That's worst case scenario though. Also make sure all of you pick up Under Armor and or long underwear. You don't need it to cover everything, but at least have the bottoms come down to your knees and the sleeves to your elbows." Prichard nodded and turned back towards the group.

"Alright, let's get to work shall we. Try not to use your guns, it will only attract more of them." As the group dispersed, Kayla looked up at her boyfriend and smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem," he smiled back, "He kind of through you through a loop there didn't he?"

"Yeah, a little," they began to walk towards the store, trailing behind the group, "I wasn't expecting that he'd turn the attention to me, but it makes sense I guess."

"It does?"

"They're not used to surviving out here like we are. They were protected inside the walls of Shadesoak for so long that they didn't see how bad it became. They also got lucky because we left in the middle of winter and began to head north. Have you noticed we haven't seen many walkers since we left Cali?"

"Yeah…I have," Ben took a defensive stance, "Heads up; they're about to open the doors." Kayla gripped her knife as they slowly opened the door, but nothing came to greet them. They didn't find any zombies when they searched the store either.

"All clear," Steven called out, and the group put away their weapons.

"That's so odd…."Adam muttered, "It's like they got up and left without taking anything. There isn't a single soul, dead or alive, anywhere." Ben heard him and shivered slightly. What happened here? Obviously it didn't play out like it did in California. Was the government able to get everyone out? Where did they go?

"Ben?" Kayla's voice snapped him out of his train of thought; the look on her face stated that she had been trying to get his attention for a while.

"Sorry babe, I was thinking. What did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay. You seem a bit distant."

"I'm okay," he said quietly, "I just….this doesn't feel right. I feel like maybe we're intruding on a place we shouldn't be. Like it's a graveyard or something." Kayla stepped closer and put a hand on his face.

"I understand," she whispered, "I know what you're feeling." Ben sighed and put his hand over hers.

"I'd rather talk about it in private," he looked around at the group of boys rummaging through jackets, "but not right now. I want to find a warmer jacket first."

"Okay." After both of them had found jackets that met Ben's guidelines, he pulled her to the back of the store and into an employee area.

"Are you going to talk now?"

"Not exactly," he leaned forward and began to kiss her, placing his hands on her hips.

"Ben," she pulled away slightly, "I don't think we can do this while you have something on your mind." His breath tickled her skin as he sighed heavily.

"You're right," he said quietly, pulling her into a hug and holding her tightly.

"Tell me what's wrong," she whispered.

"I want to know what happened to my mom," he whispered, "The last time I heard from her was that day when we left."

"I remember."

"It seems like that was a million years ago…I'd love to hear her voice again….to see her face." Tears began to form in Kayla's eyes.

"I miss my mom too," she whispered shakily, "and my dad." Her emotions got the better of her and she buried her face into Ben's shoulder, letting the tears spill down her cheeks.

"I know sweetie," a tear rolled down his cheek, "I'm sorry; I made you upset."

"Don't be sorry," she looked up at him, still crying, "You were just expressing your feelings. I'm glad that you talked to me."

"You're my best friend," he smiled, bringing her face closer to his, "I know I can tell you anything. You're another story though."

"Oh, shut up," she chuckled, wiping her tears away, "I'm working on it." Ben smiled, kissed her, and wiped his eyes.

Tim's stomach growled loudly and he winced.

"Are you sure we don't have any more jerky?" he asked innocently.

"No, bud. I'm sorry," Ben responded sadly, "I know you're hungry; I am too. The animals here hide better in the winter, so it's harder for me to hunt. I'll try to find us something first thing tomorrow okay?"

"Okay," Tim half smiled.

"Hey, Ben," Brad joined the group, "do you think we'll find another group? A group with other girls?"

"Probably," he shrugged, looking over at Kayla who was sitting by the window on watch with David, "I'm not sure how long that's going to be though."

"What's it like?" Tim asked.

"What's what like?"

"You know…..it."

"Sex?" Tim nodded and cast a gaze downward.

"Will brought a girl home once, but he wouldn't tell me anything. I know he did it with her though."

"I want to know too," Brad could feel his face heating up as he approached the two of them.

"What an odd position I'm in," Ben scratched the back of his head, "It's like I'm the only one in here that's gotten any recently."

"It's not like we can ask David and Cameron," Brad said quietly.

"You have a point there. Well….I'm not exactly sure how to explain it. It just feels good."

"What about down there?" Tim pressed further.

"Oh. Warm I guess. That's actually where you feel most of your orgasm."

"Really?"

"Yeah, unless you're the one being penetrated."

"You know this how?" Brad asked, a pink tint still on his cheeks.

Ben smirked, "Kayla and I like to have a four way with David and Cameron every now and then."

"WHAT?!" both boys exclaimed, causing everyone in the store to look over at them and sending Ben into hysterics.

"Pipe down you guys!" Steven hissed, "Some of us want to sleep and you're going to attract walkers!"

"I'm totally kidding," Ben managed to get out, wiping a tear away, "I just wanted to see your reaction. No, I read that in a human sexuality textbook. I was kidding about the four way." David heard the phrase "four way" and shook his head, smirking.

"Your boyfriend's got quite the sense of humor," he said to Kayla as he returned his attention back to the dark.

"One of the reasons why I love him," she smiled.

Kayla heard footsteps coming closer and quickly opened her eyes. Ben rounded the corner and propped his gun, bow, and quiver on one of the shelves.

"Did I wake you?" he whispered. Kayla sat up and shook her head.

"I wasn't sleeping," she whispered back. He knelt down next to her and kissed her softly.

"Can we pick up where we left off?" he asked.

"Won't they see us?"

"No. I set us up so that we'd be blocked off." Kayla looked around, noticing how the shelves enclosed them into their own private alcove.

"We'll have to be quiet," she whispered.

"I think I can manage that," he kissed her again and pulled her closer to him. Kayla shivered when she felt his cold hands brush against her skin and let out a sigh.

"Shhh, you're too loud," Ben breathed.

"Shut up," she giggled. He let out a low chuckle as he pushed her down into their sleeping bag. His hot breath tickled her neck, sending goosebumps all over her skin. When she climaxed, she gripped onto his under armor and muffled her moans into his shoulder. It must have sent Ben over the edge because he let out a deep moan against her skin, and she felt him shudder for a moment.

"You okay?" she breathed.

"Yeah," he slid off of her, rubbing his hand along her abdomen and tracing circles around her belly button, "God…..we waited way too long." She let out a small chuckle and kissed him.

"I love you."

"I love you too, babe." After a while, Kayla noticed that his tracing was slowing down and that his breathing was becoming deeper and more even.

"Hey!" she whispered sharply, elbowing him gently, "Put your pants and jacket back on! It's freezing!"

"Right," he mumbled. They both pulled their clothing back on and settled down for the night.

Ben woke up just before dawn, his muscles sore and a thin layer of sweat clinging to his skin. To his surprise Kayla was still sleeping, breathing deeply and loudly. She slept through the night, Ben smiled and let out a contented sigh. For weeks Kayla had barely slept, jumping awake several times during the night, her knuckles white from clenching her fists so tightly, shaking and eyes widened. Every night he would try to calm her down and lull her back into sleep, but was only successful a handful of times. He noticed the bags forming underneath her eyes and the dark circles becoming darker. The lack of sleep was beginning to age her, making her look more womanly and less child-like. The change saddened him but he still loved her, still thought she was beautiful. Being careful not to disturb her, he gently sat up and began to gather his things for a hunting trip. Kayla made a noise and shifted in the sleeping bag, but didn't wake up. Ben dared to let out an exhale and quietly made his way towards the front door. He waved at a groggy Prichard and Adam as he exited and they wished him luck. I didn't think about what happens if I actually get larger game, he shivered and attempted to bury his neck in his collar. The world seemed to stand still and there was no sign of anything, or anyone, in sight. Suppressing the anxiety that was bubbling up in his stomach, he made his way out into the icy cold in hopes of finding food.

"Something's wrong. He should've been back by now!"

"None of us are hunters. This thing probably takes a while."

"Are you insane? He could be hurt, or stuck somewhere, or even dead!"

"Guys! Keep your voices down; you're going to wake up Kayla." Cameron was a little late with his warning; Kayla rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and began to crawl out of the sleeping back. It took her a moment to realize that the space next to her was empty and the other boys were arguing about Ben. She got a sickening feeling in her stomach and began to slowly walk out to the rest of the group.

"I seriously think we should send out a search party."

"I don't think that's a good idea. It's not safe out there."

"Yet you're the one that let him leave on his own. Jesus, Prichard! You're the oldest of us here! I would think you would have been smart enough to wake one of us up!"

"I'm sorry! I was half asleep as it was and I wasn't thinking clearly. It wasn't even dawn for Christ's sake!"

"Wait….he left at dawn? It's been at least four hours since then!" Four hours? She walked around the corner stood behind the group. Cameron saw her first and the color drained from his face; the other males turned to look at her too, wearing the same frightened expression.

"Where's Ben?" she asked. They all seemed to shrink away from her; no one answered.

"Where is Ben?" she asked again.

"Kayla…"Cameron began, but struggled to find the right words.

"God damn it, where is he? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?"

"…..we don't know," he finally said.

"Then why are we just standing here? We have to go find him!" As she said that the door blew open and a hooded Ben stumbled inside, slamming the door behind him.

"Ben!"

"It's fucking freezing out there," he said. Kayla ran to him and flung her arms around his neck.

"Hey babe," he mumbled, hugging her back, "Miss me much?"

"Jesus," she fought to hold tears back, "tell me when you're leaving next time….please."

"Welcome back idiot," David smirked, "Take one of us next time you're going to be gone for four hours, yeah?"

"Sorry," he chuckled, "I didn't expect to be gone that long. I did bring back some food, however." He reached behind him and slung his bag off his shoulder.

"Anyone hungry? I've got enough meat in here to make a decent stew."

A couple hours later, Ben had skinned and cleaned all of the game in his bag and had begun to cook it. By then, everyone was completely ravenous. Luckily for them, Ben had also broken into a gas station and grabbed as many snacks as he could fit into his bag and pockets. He took a bit out of his beef jerky stick and continued to absently stir his stew. Kayla sat next to him and he smiled when she kissed his cheek.

"Why didn't you tell me when you were leaving?" she asked.

"You were sleeping," he turned to look at her, "Last night and this morning was the first time you have slept well in weeks. I would rather have you sleep for several more hours than wake you up at dawn to come hunting with me. I will admit that it was stupid for me to go alone. I'll make sure I teach some of the guys. I'll make sure to teach you." She smiled and leaned against him.

"I'm glad you're safe," she said quietly. Ben wrapped his arm around her and buried his face in her hair.

"Hopefully I'll find more sustainable food," he whispered, "We can't leave on mostly chips and twinkies forever."