Author's Note: I'm back! I know this update is a little late, but I've been busy debating...In this chapter I tried to bring more connections between the characters. I know some former characters were disappearing, like Lomenil and his queen, but I assure you they will have a part in the later story! Also, I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive to this story and every one of your reviews makes me smile! Here I would also like to give a special "thanks" to Drwatsonn, who has been with this story since the beginning! Thank you for all your amazing reviews! Now let's come to this update~
"Luckily I have long learned not to completely trust whatever is on the book." Alice said.
Thorin paused "It is the Elves who are endowed with long life; not us. Dwarves would naturally live to thrice Men's life span, but that doesn't mean much compared with the ages Elves have to endure. People have forgotten that, anyway, for not so many Dwarves live to that span. Many of them die before their due time, and even if they manage to live that long, they would become nothing but a burden, hated and abandoned by their own people." his face grew hard with that flash of Blue Mountains snow peaks in his mind. "In your world, old age means kindness, wisdom and respect, but in our view, they are beings lacking in physical power, slow in reflexes and over-affected by grief and weariness. Old age means nothing more than the passing of years and thus the waning of one life." the last few words were spoken with such speed that Alice could barely register their meaning. Thorin looked at Alice. He was half-expecting an offended look: a girl whom everyone considered loving would for sure put the elderly in a very significant place. Thus, it was a mild surprise when he found that she appeared to be deep in thought, her expressions not of discomfort or irritation. Instead, she merely looked at him and smiled, "I've always known the so-called ethics shouldn't apply every where. Things become so entrenched that we often forget why they were so in the first place. I think people just want to make it a custom for other people to value and respect them, when others finally have all the reasons to abandon them. No one wants to be deserted. I think people don't let go of the elderly partly because they don't want to be gotten rid of. You know, when they are old themselves." Alice didn't look at Thorin at all during her quiet speech, and when she finally did so and reminded herself who he was, her cheeks were lightly flushed, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't..."she frowned a little and shook her head. Something tugged at the corner of Thorin's mouth.
What were you doing? Alice did sense an interview coming, but only for the sake of first hand information. Of course she wasn't expecting Thorin to open himself up to the extent that she could write a comprehensive biography, but at least it would be about him. Now she felt as if she was confiding in him about some points unlikely to be acceptable for others.
Thorin was a little surprised to find such radical view in her. She appeared as if she possessed every virtue in the world, qualified for every commonly accepted criteria. She could be a perfect Elvish portray, exquisite in every single detail, accomplished as if a combination of every desirable feature. But he automatically thought of her as exactly that portray: people became satisfied laying eyes on her fairness. However, even during these few days of staying, Thorin knew he had made a misconception. There was so much more in her, a bright side with a shaded side, a clear side with a confused side. There was life in her. "It was true, seeing from my point of view."
Alice shook her head with an appreciative glance at Thorin, "Thank you, but I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm sorry if I had delayed your business here. Surely you came here for a reason." she felt it the right thing to do. Alice wanted nothing more than to take out a piece of paper and started to ask a million questions, but she couldn't keep him for so selfish a reason. Alice had no idea what his business was at all, but she didn't believe Thorin Oakenshield would go all the way down south for nothing.
"it was a rather blind business, but I was looking for maps and documents about the roads and Peoples in the south. And...if there was materials on our destination." Thorin chose the words with extra care. Part of him was strongly against telling anyone else about the destination of their errands, but that part was also against any lies to cover up their sacred cause. He could hardly believe or understand himself when the idea of telling her his purpose flashed in his mind. Under only two circumstances would Thorin open his mouth on this matter; one, when people who mattered were under life threats. Two, when the subject had credit for confidentiality and was, at the same time, intelligent enough to understand everything. Thorin couldn't understand why intelligence mattered so much to him, but he didn't want to make the life-risky decision confiding this and afterwards, had to justify everything. Thorin was done begging for understanding. He was done exposing so ancient a pursuit so that others could lay their absurdly judgmental eyes upon it. He was criticized as arrogant and idealistic, and this only added others' lack of understanding. Somehow, after Alice's little rebellion against orthodox, Thorin had a weird glimpse of hope that she would understand. She would take him seriously. But that was just a flash of an idea.
Alice had no idea that she was, even for a brief second, closer to the truth of Thorin's business than anyone since Thorin and the company set out from their home, but she found the point to make herself useful, "maps? What kind of maps?" she asked and stood up to walk to the map sections. All the documents in the House of Lore were carefully sorted out and stored, but it surely would take unfamiliar eyes quite a while to understand the methods of the organization, and even more to find the right thing accordingly. Alice, apparently not a novice, had already frequented herself within these shelves and drawers. She knew about every detail on the maps and wrote down important extracts to read in her own room, but the desire to watch the original scripts was never quenched in her heart. They weren't just words and graphics; they were an experience: the slightly stale smell of the brownish paper or parchment; the subtle texture of the thick ink; the curves and dots. It was just beautiful, to hold something that existed before she came into existence.
"maps of the southern roads, the allocation of various people. And journals of the travelers, if that weren't too much trouble." Thorin didn't expect to get all these, but that professional attitude oozing out of her when she stood up to flip through the archive invoked a his confidence in her. This House was either her playground or her kingdom, and Thorin had a foreign feeling that he could rely on her expertise. There weren't so many things Thorin could tolerate done by the others. They weren't fast enough, strong enough, intelligent enough, and all Thorin could do without splitting himself into multiple beings was to endure and live with all the foolish consequences. Maybe it was that smart sparkle in her eyes, but for once Thorin didn't have that shadow of disaster before everything began.
"we have journals here, but I don't think them as too convincing. Travelers made their dull journeys dramatic and over-adventurous just to catch enough eyeballs, but sometimes just to assure themselves as if they hadn't spent they limited amount of life wandering around, pointless." Alice didn't look at Thorin, she stepped on the top of the ladder to look at those things least touched by normal audience. Travelers labeled their biography and journals with strange and unbelievable names. Journey into the Goblin Pits; the All-whispering chasms. Alice didn't know if there were better writers and dreamers. She signed and waved off the floating dust, trying not to cough. She climbed down slowly, careful not to slip. Alice hated these ladders from the very start of their existence. She never liked heights, and the wobbling wood ladder made her heart tight. It didn't, this time. When she safely landed on the solid ground and let out the involuntary breath she had been holding, she found Thorin holding the ladder to steady it.
Alice signed. "In fact, these journals would only be novels and adventures. What you truly need is a truthful teller who actually went to the south," she drew in a deep breath. Had she already thought it through? Did she already made her decision? She looked into Thorin's eyes, and though part of her heart was most reluctant, she made sure her eyes were the most calm and resolute. "You should ask Emroy. He is from the south. He lives in Escara, a southern Men kingdom." she noticed that Thorin's face hardened. She found her speech frightening and even now, when she mentioned Emroy or just thought of him, there would be a flush of undeniable sadness and severe discomfort, but she had to do this. She had to be truthful. No matter what, Alice believed in Thorin Oakenshield. She set her heart and prepared for the latter sentences, "I understand if you feel that you can't trust him yet, but he was a skilled and experienced traveler. I'm sure he would offer his most sincere knowledge."
Thorin was confused for a little while. He had thought he knew the whole story, but Alice proved him wrong again. If he was right about they two, Alice would not be suggesting his name so candidly. The failed ones in love would surely be forbidden topics? But what Thorin saw was her resolution and calm. She stared right at him. Not even her pupils quivered. Thorin said nothing. He knew that silence at this moment would only suggest his knowledge of Emroy and her past, and this wasn't a decent thing to do to anyone, but Thorin waited and an invisible strength seemed to be holding him back. She was so calm and objective, almost sacred to look upon. For the time being, she seemed strong enough to endure anything.
Alice knew. The deep gray of his eyes brightened and darkened, and behind that was a sense of realization, then, a flash of discomfort. The kind of discomfort when both knew acquiescently what was the subject and the one with obviously no experience was nervous and somewhat embarrassed. Among all the excuses Thorin found himself, the courteous gentility won. Thorin broke the eye contact, "Master Emroy was heading home. We were not going to the same south." Emroy would take the safe path, a path that would lead him safely to home, however long that should be, and time was not what Thorin could afford to waste. He probably never heard of the Southern Caves. Alice smiled weakly, "that's true. It was home he was heading."
Thorin rolled out the maps on the table and scanned through. It was almost comprehensive. But his frown deepened as he noticed the thick dots marking out the dwellings and establishments along the way. "any knowledge on these villages?" he asked quietly.
"yes," Alice said and turned to the shelves for more books and her own notes. "It feels strange how I can help to guide you through here, when it has always been the other way around." it was no more than a whisper, but it nonetheless caught Thorin's attention. He looked up, with a rare amused look on his face. Thorin didn't do amused looks. People didn't try much to amuse Thorin, for the only few interested one knew it to be largely vain. He had forgotten what to do with the feeling. "I beg your pardon?"
Alice smiled, a little embarrassed, and sat across the table. It was not a shame. It had always been her deepest pride. "I've read about King Thror's line since I was but little. But people are naturally drawn to a heroic story."
"That was why I couldn't agree with you, Alice." Alice quivered to hear him call her directly by her name. "people ARE drawn to heroic stories, but the one with me and my people in it can hardly be called heroic." his voice was still calm and friendly, but the acidity and iciness threatened to pierce through. Maybe she was just another person confusing him with her fantasy, Thorin thought, but he couldn't help that sharp stab of disappointment.
Alice, to his surprise and further irritation, chuckled. "That was what most people thought, and it turns them to Elvish lore." Thorin studied the maps, but the intensity of his gaze was burning a hole in the paper. Elvish lore. He, as well, heard whispers of that. The other kids training with him in his childhood were all over it. How the Elves established an impossibly fair land over the farthest west borders; how they established grand halls and spectacular towers; how they sang and danced through eternity, and how all of those were overwhelmed so they who lived in the present couldn't trace or verify. The soft romantic thoughts made him sick, and he was nothing but cold and fierce to those talking kids.
"But they were too glorious and...distant to my world. And I already knew about the end. There were failures, but their valor and some Valar-endowed strength would always win at the end of the day. It seemed as if the Elvish race was connected with success, but that wasn't my life, and I don't know if my life would turn out in the same way. But you...your story wasn't finished, I'm sure it wasn't." Alice looked straight into Thorin's eyes and Thorin felt her warm sincerity almost burning. She couldn't stop a bright smile spreading across her face. How could she resist it? How could she resist it when her hope for her entire life was right in front of her? "My life wasn't at its end, and I knew that you were still out there. I knew you would do something." her voice was slightly trembling, and Thorin didn't venture to think if her beautiful tenderness was for him or for her fantasy. "I knew it wasn't finished." she repeated. In her eyes, Thorin noticed that resolute and that surety. He didn't believe he had met anyone with more faith.
Thorin made no response. He wasn't sure he was capable of that. Alice broke her gaze and questioned again, "speaking of King Thror..." she trailed off. She wanted to know, but she couldn't endure peacefully with the fact that she was asking for someone's grandfather, who could have been dead. She noticed his intake of breath. Thorin didn't look away from her. He knew he could tell her.
Alice was starting to be nervous on whether she had said the right thing, when Thorin said in his usual calm and deep voice,
"He was dead."
Alice's breathing halted.
It felt different, Thorin noticed. Alice Vinyatar was right. It was part of his story, a story that hadn't came to its end.
So, what do you think? This chapter includes only a few hours in Thorin and Alice's world, but it is more or less a turning point for them. Let's wait patiently and see how things go~ Also, the next chapter would be about some other people's point of view, so we can enrich the story lines. I'm already excited, how about you? Affectionately, A